3 Causes of Teenage Mental Health

Mar11

What can cause teenage mental health issues and how can you support your child that seems to be emotionally struggling?

Since 2020 teen depression and anxiety has doubled, many experts blame the increase of screen-time as part of the cause.

Is your teen experiencing:

–Depression, sadness, anxiety
-Withdrawn, avoiding family events
-Cell-phone addiction, video gaming
–Angry, defiant, explosive
-Vaping, smoking pot, drinking (self-medicating)
–Self-harm
-Suicide ideation
-Skipping classes, school refusal
–Failing, when capable of passing
-Changing peer groups, or isolating themselves
-Change in eating and sleeping patterns

The truth is depression, anxiety and other teenage mental health disorders were serious concerns long before 2019. The pandemic only lifted the covers off the mental health crisis our teens are facing.

3 Common Causes of Teenage Mental Health Issues

1. Technology (screen-time).

There’s no doubt that there are many positive aspects to being connected online to friends and family, as well as using your device as an educational tool — however extensive use of social media or video gaming also carries risks.

Experts say risks increase when adolescents obsess about gaining “likes” on their posts and make comparisons between their own physical appearance or life circumstances and that of others. The fear of missing out (FOMO) is also a very real emotional concern of teens today. Young people continue to seek approval and gratification through social apps from digital strangers — to boost their confidence.

This can lead to anxiety, depression, and even thoughts of suicide.

It’s imperative that young people learn about a healthy relationship with technology and find a balance with the time they spend online. If you haven’t implemented a technology agreement yet, it’s time to do so.

2. Bullying and Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying has increased 40% since 2020 among teens. New research says nearly half of teens are online almost constantly.

Never underestimate the power of words that can emotionally wound a child, especially a teenager that may already be struggling with self-worth. Bullying can cause feelings of rejection, exclusion, isolation, low self-esteem, and some individuals can develop depression and anxiety as a result. In some cases it can even develop into Acute Stress Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

With cyberbullying it can be more cruel and hateful since it spreads not only throughout the school, but your community and globally. It’s literally worldwide humiliation. With the anonymity of social media, it’s made it easier for peers to engage in malicious pranks and even sexting scandals in both middle schools and high schools that have crisscrossed our nation.

Studies have found adolescents who experience cyberbullying are about twice as likely to engage in self-harm, including attempted suicide, as those who do not experience such bullying.

Learn more about how to give your teen the tools to prevent cyberbullying.

3. Substance abuse.

Today it starts with vaping then graduates to smoking marijuana — which your teen will justify to you since it’s now legal in some states (we are not condoning this). Reality is, most kids will experiment with drugs and alcohol — however when it goes past that line of experimentation, when parents need to be concerned.

Drug dealers have turned to the internet and social media apps like TikTok, Instagram and Snap Chat to find new customers: teenagers. This is causing youth drug deaths to soar.

Substance-abusing youth are at higher risk than nonusers for mental health problems, including depression, conduct problems, personality disorders, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, and suicide.

If your family has a history of alcoholism or substance abuse, your teen is at higher risk for addiction.

Have you discovered your teen is doing drugs or drinking regularly? Don’t hesitate to start a teen intervention — if they refuse to get help, consider a residential treatment center.

Also read:

5 Benefits of Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Where to Send My Troubled Teen.

Are Therapeutic Boarding Schools Successful?

Dec4

Are therapeutic boarding schools successful for troubled teens? Are they effective for changing negative behavior? Schools for troubled teens are designed to help students that are having difficulties in their home and school setting.

Many are afflicted with emotional, social and/or behavioral issues which can also cause poor academic performance. What is the actual success rate of therapeutic boarding schools?

Are therapeutic boarding schools successful?

Have you reached a point where you are considering a therapeutic boarding school for your teenager, however completely confused if it will be the right decision?

Has your house become a battleground? You fear your teen will explode at any time? Are they spending more time online, isolated in their room — failing in school, vaping or doing drugs? Maybe they are suffering with depression, anxiety — that has led to self-harm or possibly suicide ideation.

Your teen has refused to see a therapist, outpatient treatment failed, the school setting is not working and maybe you even tried having them live with a relative. A short-term hospital stay was not successful.

Choosing the right therapeutic boarding school for your teen’s needs can be tedious work, however you are your child’s best advocate.

If you are like most parents, you jumped online to be bombarded with many websites that only made this task more confusing — there are literally millions of places to send troubled teens — according to the internet, but how do you know what is right for your teen and family? Most importantly, how do you know if these schools are successful or effective?

A simple internet search for “places to send troubled teens” yields nearly 10 million results!

Read: Where Can I Send My Troubled Teenager.

What is the Success Rate of Therapeutic Boarding Schools?

Reality is, we have yet to see any third-party research or independent study that is not funded by a school, program or organization that is not part of this industry. Another words, a study that would not have reason to be bias.

For example, although the wilderness therapy industry (OBH – Outdoor Behavioral Healthcare) has tried for several decades to fill research gaps to bolster its case of effectiveness and reduce the need for legislative intervention, science still does not support wilderness therapy. Therapeutic wilderness programs have no outcome data to support the effectiveness of these programs, and particularly the long-term effects of these interventions.

In 2019 OBH did its own research to say that wilderness therapy was effective and less expensive than traditional treatment such as short-term hospital stay or out-patient services. Although in this research the results claim it to be effective — it does not mean it’s the solution, and as the research revealed, the average cost of the wilderness treatment is $27,426 (which is likely higher now) — not including the cost of equipment.

Interestingly this study was partially funded by National Association for Therapeutic Schools and Programs (NATSAP), which collects fees for membership from wilderness programs, as well as other teen help schools that want their logo on their websites and partially funded by Outdoor Behavioral Healthcare Council (OBHC).

3 Ways to Success in a Therapeutic Boarding School

There can be success in therapeutic boarding schools and there absolutely has been happy endings. This starts with a parent being diligent in doing their research and understanding they do have choices. Keep in mind, what may have failed for one family, could have been successful for another family.

The one absolute fact is that home life is not working, you have exhausted your local resources and typically when a parent decides it’s time for residential treatment, it’s when they realize they are out of options – as well as their teen is literally crying for help by their negative behavior, and it is important to keep them safe. In many cases, it’s not only the safety of the teen that is in crisis, but also the safety of the family.

1. Longevity. Although you might be starting this journey, therapeutic boarding schools have been around for a long time. Not only do you want a school that has a good reputation, when you find one that has had years (decades) of experience — and bonus points for low staff turn-over, this could be a good contender.

Have you selected a program that has been around awhile, however started reading some frightening websites, horror stories of the troubled teen industry or negative reviews? It’s time to learn about deciphering the misinformation online.

2. Parents. You are not alone! If there is a therapeutic boarding school, residential treatment center or any type of program you are considering for your child, and they will not give you *parent references — this is a red flag.

Parents and parent references are the heart and soul of programs. You (mom and dad) need just as much support as your teen does. This experience is overwhelming. Only those that have walked in your shoes can understand and support you.

Prior selecting or enrolling in a program, ask the admissions director for parents to speak with — here are some questions to ask parents to give you more insights about the school/program:

-Why did they have to send their teen to a program?
-Are they happy with the program?
-What was their trigger moment that made their decision?
-How long did their child attend the program?
-Why did they choose that program?
-What was their deciding factor on this program?
-Did they visit the program before placing their teen?
-How is their teen doing today? Do they consider it successful?
-How was the communication with the program?
-Did they provide transitional support after their teen graduated?
-Would they recommend the program to a friend or family?
-More parent questions.

A key question parents should ask is, if they could change one thing about the program to improve it, what would that be? It gives you room to find out a bit of negative. Usually not enough to change your mind but helps you to go in — eyes wide open.

* Programs may have you complete an application or a short version of an application before giving you parent references. This assures them that you are a fit for their school and are considering placement. It does not mean you’re going to enroll in the program; however, it provides security for everyone involved when giving out personal information of families.

For programs that will use the excuse that it violates their HIPPAA policy, it’s just that, an excuse. With HIPPAA, you can have exception with the parent’s permission to be a reference. Most all of these programs you are interviewing operate in accordance to HIPPA — again, get parent references and if they don’t want to give them, it might be best to move on.

Bonus tip: Always ask for parents references with the same gender and age of your teen, and you can take it a step further by asking for families in your same geographical region.

3. People. Who is the owner, director, staff — people working with your teen? It’s the people that make the therapeutic boarding school a success. It is typically why when parents ask about programs that are owned by corporations — we pause, or shy away. When you are considering a program that is corporately owned, it can be more of a struggle to have things changed to meet your child’s needs. Whereas when working with privately owned programs — it only must be approved through the owner/director. You are usually a text message or email away.

All quality programs (privately owned or corporately owned) should be licensed and accredited – so you are not sacrificing by choosing a privately owned program.

It’s important to review their credentials, accreditations –– and ask about background checks of their staff. Again, about staff turn-over.

BEST SUCCESS of a Therapeutic Boarding School

Finally, determining the success of a therapeutic boarding school has so many factors, but most importantly is THE FAMILY. If you’re not planning to jump on board and be part of the program, then do not waste your time or money.

Therapeutic boarding schools and programs are not only about the teenager – it is about bringing the entire family back on a healthy path again. The family is broken right now. We are not here to point fingers, we’re here to heal — get on a road to recovery.

There will be books to read, family therapy (virtual) and workshops to attend. Never doubt, this can be successful – it is not easy, but it’s worth it!

Read: What is the Goal of Residential Treatment.

Read: The Purpose of A Therapeutic Boarding School.

Read: Questions and Answers Parents Ask About Therapeutic Schools.

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If you’re considering a therapeutic boarding school for your difficult teenager, contact us for a free consultation.

How to Use Health Insurance for Teen Help

Oct30

If you have been searching for therapeutic boarding schools for your troubled teen you may have realized the sticker shock of the tuition fees. Most of the websites do not list their fees or costs — which is likely the first clue that it is more than most can afford. Many parents search for therapeutic programs that take insurance.

It is normal for a family to want to use their medical insurance to cover a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center, however first they must have a better understanding of how it works in the mental health field.

Will A Therapeutic Boarding School Take My Insurance?

Yes and no is the short answer.

PPO Insurance

Depending on your insurance policy, is where you answer starts. Most PPO (Preferred Provider Organization) policies will offer out-of-network benefits after you have meet an out-of-network deductible. These providers include (but not limited to): Aetna, Cigna, United Healthcare and (UMR), and Blue Cross Blue Shield.

If you decide to stay in-network with your PPO provider, you will have more financial coverage. The one struggle parents run into is they are typically shorter-term facilities and the more concerning issue is the teenager has to be a willing participant. In other words, they don’t permit your teen to be transported to the program.

When considering private therapeutic boarding schools, PPO insurance out-of-network benefits will typically cover a portion of the clinical component of the program, however you will still have out-of-pocket costs. These schools and programs will offer you a courtesy verification of benefits (VOB) to give you a strong determination of what is covered for you. By having the program complete the VOB for you, rather than doing this yourself, you will get a more accurate result — since they have a better understanding of their billing codes.

There are some therapeutic boarding schools that will file your insurance for you and deduct it from your invoices, while other programs will give you what they call super-bills. With these super-bill invoices, you will have to file them with your provider and wait for your reimbursement.

HMO, Medicaid, Tricare Insurance

With HMO, Medicaid and most Tricare insurances, they require you to stay in-network to have financial coverage.

Tricare does have some exceptions with some of their policies providing a PPO-like coverage. Please review your policy.

When you have an insurance policy that requires you to stay in-network, you need to contact them directly and ask for residential treatment facilities in-network. In many situations, they may give you to their mental health department and assign you a case worker or have refer you to a therapist that can determine if a therapeutic facility is necessary.

There are exceptions to staying in-network — this is called a “Single Case Agreement.” If you have exhausted your resources in-network, you can ask them cover services outside of their network.

A Single Case Agreement (SCA) is a one-time contract between an insurance company and an out-of-network provider so the patient can see that provider using their in-network benefits.

There are many situations when a SCA has been successfully used.

Finding Therapeutic Boarding Schools That Take Insurance

If you are interested in private residential treatment centers or therapeutic boarding schools that will file your insurance, there are several in our country that offer this benefit. There are many that will give you super-bills for you to file your own for reimbursement. Contact us for more information.

Also read:

Financial Options for Teen Help.

Medical Health Insurance for Teens.

Educational Loans for Teen Help.

Sue Scheff Talks About Research Safe Teen Help

Oct3

How to find safe therapeutic boarding school for your teen and family is very challenging.

A simple online search of “therapeutic boarding schools” yields over 3 million results!

Since 2001 we’ve been helping parents navigate this troubled teen industry and find safe therapeutic boarding schools for troubled teens.

Does this describe your teen:

-Teen depression, anxiety
-Teen ADHD, ODD, RAD
-Teen defiance, rage, rebellious
–Internet addiction (cell-phone or video gaming)
-Teenage substance use, drinking, vaping
–Withdrawn, isolation – not participating in family functions
–Changing peer groups
–Failing when capable of passing
-Skipping classes, school refusal
–Self-harm, suicide ideation, digital self-harm
-Stealing (especially from parents), lying, manipulating
-Drifted from your family values
-Property destruction, explosive behavior

If you’re experiencing a few of these behaviors, you’re not alone.

You’ve tried therapy — your teen refused to attend or wasn’t engaging. You asked your youth pastor for help, but your teen was unwilling. Outpatient treatment has failed. School setting is not working, you may have tried a short-term hospital stay that was unsuccessful. It’s time consider outside resources to find help for your troubled teen.

How to choose a safe therapeutic boarding school for your troubled teen.

Once you’ve determined your teen needs a therapeutic boarding school, now the challenge is finding a safe one for their individual needs.

1. Location.

Almost every parent has the same response, they want a program close to home. It’s probably one of the most common mistakes a family can make in selecting the right therapeutic program for your troubled teen.

This is a major emotional (and sometimes) financial decision — in our decades of experience, we urge parents to choose a program that fits your child’s needs (emotionally, physically and academically), rather than geographically. Of course this is within reason. Since the pandemic, it’s understandable that some don’t want to travel to the other side of the country, however you can be more reasonable when it comes to choosing residential treatment. It’s always wise to find a program outside of your state — without going to the other side of the country.

This helps remove your teen’s temptation to runaway since they are less familiar with the area. We’ve seen parents choose local programs or places their family is familiar with — the teen will run, and this sets their progress back. When this happens, it prolongs their stay at the school and you have to hit the reset button again. There are no winners.

If you’re concerned about family therapy, you will have virtual sessions and parenting workshops which are typically every other month or every 90 days. Check with the program.

2. Money.

This is the reality of life. No matter what your income status, there is help for your teenager — this is information about searching for schools and programs within your financial limits.

Many of these websites are you glancing at don’t give you tuition costs. Some are third-party sites, hoping you will bite so they can acquire your email or phone number and send you lists of programs they are affiliated with — financially. This is not in the best interest of your child, so it’s best to be very careful as you put your information online.

The average tuition starts at $8000 monthly and up. The duration of most programs for young people (12-17) years of age is 6-9-12 months, depending on your child’s needs. Shorter term programs (such as wilderness) will likely give you short-term results. This money can be better spent on a long term program with long lasting behavioral changes.

Contact your insurance provider. Most PPO’s will provide out-of-network allowances. This helps pay for a portion of these programs (the clinical component). Most of these programs will run a courtesy verification of benefits (VOB) for you. This gives you a strong determination of what will be covered. If you have HMO, state (Medicaid) or Tricare — they typically require you to stay in-network. Contact them directly and ask them for in-network providers. You will have better financial coverage by doing this.

Review our financial page for more options.

3. A.C.E. Factor.

Determining the right placement for your troubled teen is based on what we have developed as the A.C.E. factor:

A. Accredited academics. Whatever school/program you are interviewing, be sure they are accredited academically. Many of these teens entering these programs are typically very smart students yet underachieving in school. It’s important they continue their education. Although we share with parents that their emotional growth is priority in these schools, academics is still important. You can ask to see a copy of their accreditation.

C. Credentialed clinical team. Teenage mental health is a priority. Placing a distressed young teenager into a therapeutic boarding school is hard for the entire family, although therapy typically didn’t work at home, when placed into a new environment, removed from the stressors and triggers of home (as well as peer influences and devices) — the student is able to focus on themselves through both individual and group therapy. Check the credentials of the clinical team, this is also imperative if you are using your insurance. If they are not credentialed, insurance likely won’t cover it.

E. Enrichment programs. These programs are so important to help troubled teens. Enrichment programs are designed to stimulate your child in a positive direction, build self-worth to make better choices and develop coping skills. All of these extra behavior therapy programs can help teens that struggle with anger, rage, depression, anxiety and stress.

Examples of enrichment programs:

–Art Therapy
–Animal Assisted Therapy
-Sports Therapy
–Horticultural (Gardening) Therapy
–Music Therapy

Finally, when you did your online search you may have stumbled on sites and reviews that gave you pause. You thought you found a program — until you read some troubling reviews or fearmongering websites about the troubled teen industry. Take a moment to learn how to analyze the troubled teen industry negative reviews.

There are safe therapeutic boarding schools to help your troubled teen. Don’t allow a few bad apples to prevent your teen from getting the help they need.

Read: 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools.

Read: What Is the Goals of Therapeutic Boarding Schools?

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Contact us for a free consultation, we help you find the safe therapeutic boarding school for your troubled teen and family.

Sue Scheff on Internet Defamation

Sep1

As an early target of Internet defamation, online shame and cyberbullying, Sue Scheff offers the unique ability to not only share how she overcame online reputation disaster, but more importantly, is how to navigate social media more responsibly and mindfully.

We’re facing a crisis today where people from all walks of life are losing their jobs, teens are sacrificing scholarships or college acceptances due to careless posts, reckless tweets or even misconstrued text messages.

Free speech doesn’t condone online defamation

It’s not only what we share online, but how we share. Our online behavior is now a reflection of our offline character. We are no longer afforded those oops moments that years ago were isolated to private times with ‘real’ friends.

Now everyone seems to be chasing their Internet ‘fame’ or infamy

When it comes to the seriousness of your future, such as your job, business, career or applying to school — being a target of online shame, e-venge, revenge porn or other malicious content can swiftly harm your online reputation.

Legally speaking, back in 2003 when Sue Scheff was digitally attacked, some people were still of the mindset that the Internet allowed all forms of free speech including defaming each other – without ramifications, simply because it was through a keypad and a screen.

They were sorely mistaken. We all have choices with our keystrokes – you can use them to help, heal or harm – it’s up to you.

What is defamation, libel and slander?

Whether you are the victim of internet defamation or being wrongfully accused of internet defamation, you need to understand the law. In order for a comment, post or article to constitute internet libel, the following elements must typically be met:

The first thing you must prove is that the statement constitutes a false statement of fact. A fact is different from an opinion. A fact can be proven true or false. Opinions are typically not actionable as defamation.
The false statement of fact must harm your reputation. There are many false statements posted across the internet. In order to constitute libel, a statement must not only be false but must harm you or your company’s reputation and cause harm.
The false statement of fact causing harm must be made without adequate due diligence or research into the truthfulness of the statement. Alternatively, plaintiffs often attempt to prove that the false statement of fact was made with full knowledge of its falsity.
If the person who is the subject of the false statement of fact is a celebrity or public official, the plaintiff must also prove “malice.” Malice is proven when the person posting the information on the internet intended to do harm or acted with reckless disregard of the truth in making the statements.

There is often confusion about the differences between defamation, libel and slander. In many ways, courts treat defamation on the internet similar to off-line defamation. But there are differences which you need to understand when the false statements are made on-line.

Defamation: An unprivileged false statement of fact which tends to harm the reputation of a person or company. This is a catch-all term for both libel and slander.
Libel: Defamation which is written such as on a web site. Most on-line defamation occurs through libel by posting a web page, comment, bulletin board post, review, rating or blog post.
Slander: Defamation that is spoken such as through a transcribed video, podcast or audio file.

Filing an Internet defamation case can be both emotionally and financially exhausting. If you believe you’re a victim of defamation, find an attorney that can give you a free consultation.

Sue Scheff Parent Advocate

Jul26

Ask Sue:

Sue Scheff is a nationally recognized published author, parent advocate and family Internet safety advocate.

Learn more about her accomplishments and many contributions to national publications about parenting and digital citizenship on her personal website.

Sue Scheff founded Parent’s Universal Resource Experts (P.U.R.E.) in 2001, shortly after her horrific experience with teen help programs. For over two decades she has been educating parents and helping them locate safe and quality residential treatment for their troubled teenager.

Frequently asked questions for Sue Scheff:

Q) Why do you believe in teen help programs, therapeutic boarding schools or residential treatment centers after you had such a terrible experience with your own teen?

Sue Scheff: The fact is, there are many very good schools and programs in our country. It is about doing your due diligence and understanding that this teen help business is just that – a business. It’s a big business too.

I want parents to learn from my mistakes, gain from my knowledge. I always tell parents I can’t tell them where to place their child, but I can give them questions to ask, tips and advice to follow and in some cases, launching points to start their search. Questions that they would have never thought about otherwise. This includes questions to ask parent references — and a warning, if a program won’t give you parent references, that should be a red flag.

In most cases, this is the first time you have been faced with a situation of a troubled teen. You really don’t know who to trust. You get online and you are chased down by these toll-free numbers and sales-people that promise you the world. You enter your email – the next thing you know, you receive a dozen programs telling you your child is perfect for them. It can be so overwhelming and you are confused by who to believe. It happened to us over twenty years ago — and sadly it’s still happening today.

I often tell parents, take your time – or if they aren’t ready yet, I encourage them to at least research programs while they are calm. Even if they never need them, they have done their homework before a crisis happens. If you are in a crisis-mode, don’t make that rash decision (as we did), put it on pause, even if it means placing your teen in a 3-7 day local hospital stay while you do your due diligence.

Q) Do you consider yourself an educational consultant (EC)?

Sue Scheff: No. I often have people say that, but I personally don’t consider myself one. I refer to myself as a Parent Advocate, since I believe I am advocating for parents — in an industry that is extremely confusing if you are not educated in the field of it. Some of the people in this field, including EC’s call me a crusader, I guess I accept that too.

The so-called educational consultants (EC) in this field of teen help programs will charge parents up to $8000.00 or more for nearly the same advice I give. I have had many parents tell me that I have given them more – if not better, advice than the EC’s they had paid. It’s only my opinion, that any parent today, can do their own diligence for their own child. An EC serves as a middle person. I’m not convinced you need that. However, that is only my opinion. There are some situations that do require EC’s.

There are definitely times I do refer to myself as an Educational Consultant, since that is the job description that falls into what I do when I help parents search for safe and quality teen help. It’s important to understand, there’s no certification for this job title — and organizations like IECA or NATSAP are all man-made clubs that members pay to belong to. There is little to no oversight with them — with the exception of their fees.

Q) Do you visit any schools or programs?

Sue Scheff: Yes and it’s really enlightening to see how some teen help programs truly engage with their students through different enrichment programs such as art therapy and animal assisted therapy. Visiting these schools and programs renews my ability to share with parents that there is definitely quality care in our country. Yes, there are a few bad apples — and you do still need to be aware of them, however if you do your homework, you will find the right placement for your teen.

Take a moment to read how to analyze online reviews of teen help programs and those troubling sites of the teen help industry.

Q) Why are there so many teen help referral services now?

Sue Scheff: Mental health is a growing concern in our country especially for youth. As I mentioned above, the teen help industry is a big business and this means the referral business is even bigger. This means the consumer needs to be more educated (especially a desperate parent)- and that’s what we aim to do at P.U.R.E.™. We help parents navigate this daunting business — taking the confusion out of cyber-fact vs cyber-fiction.

Parents need to go into this with their eyes wide open. No one should tell you where to place your child, this is ultimately your decision. You should be very cautious of these referral services that sell your emails, phone numbers and other confidential information to schools and programs without screening you first. How do they even know you are an appropriate candidate for that school?

I have talked parents that have accidentally entered their emails or numbers into these sites and the next thing they know they are flooded with confirmations of “We have accepted your son” or “We have your information, your daughter will be a perfect fit” – when in fact that parent doesn’t even have a daughter – or never contacted that school! The referral source took it upon themselves to just randomly send out emails to a variety of programs.

Does a referral source not list a phone number? Maybe it’s a toll-free number? In today’s age, everyone can have a direct number – where are they? I am not a pessimist – I am realist. This is your child we are talking about, not buying/selling a car.

You should know where you are calling and who they are.

I also cringe when I see “best” as their label. Unless there was some third party hired to do a statistical survey, it is hard to say they are the best. They might be really good – even great – but how do you know they are the best – and the best for who? What’s best for some is not always best for others. It’s marketing – and sometimes deceptive when you have parents at their wit’s end. It’s more about finding the right program for your teen and your family needs.

The biggest takeaway tip, avoid filling out forms that don’t assure you that they are not selling your information to third parties.

Q) Slander, defamation and twisted truths: How do you overcome this online?

Sue Scheff: Since parents or concerned family members are calling me for information about teen help programs, they may stumble on my experience of cyber-war. When I wasn’t able to be silenced from telling my story online or in my book Wit’s End, I was faced with cyber-mobs of slander, defamation and gangs of cyber-destruction.

My name and organization (P.U.R.E.) was dragged through the mud until there was barely anything left. After a trial in 2006, I won the landmark case in Broward County, FL for Internet defamation and invasion of privacy.

Then the next little house of horror opened with new trolls that thought I was attempting to chill the first amendment, which I wasn’t. It was a matter that free speech doesn’t condone defamation.

Long story short, I still have some trolls out there, that don’t want to let go. Not to mention, I understand that the programs that are still opened today associated with the program that harmed my child still tells parents today that the jury made a mistake (from 2003) and I am a disgruntled parent. My name ‘Sue Scheff‘ is still etched into their vocabulary and they are armed and ready when potential parents mention me.

Yes, the truth prevailed. I have risen above it all and stronger because of it.

Do you have a question for Sue Scheff? Email helpyourteens@gmail.com.

10 Ways To Be An Upstander

Jan23

Bullying and cyberbullying is an issue that everyone is concerned about. From verbal abuse to online harassment, words can be used as lethal weapons.

On the same measure, words can be used to build people up too!

Your words matter, keystrokes count — how will you use them?

10 Ways you can become an upstander by School Climate:

Learn more about mean, cruel, and bullying behavior. Educate yourself and your community with the resources on BullyBust.org. For example: Why do kids bully? Where does bullying take place most often in your school? What are the effects of bullying? How can we prevent it? Understanding this information will help you if you are bullied, and will help you to stand up to bullies if a friend or classmate is being bullied.
Help others who are being bullied. Be a friend, even if this person is not yet your friend. Go over to them. Let them know how you think they are feeling. Walk with them. Help them to talk to an adult about what just happened. (Just think for a moment about how great this would be if someone did this for you when you were being picked on or hurt!)
Stop untrue or harmful messages from spreading online or in person. If someone sends a message or tells you a rumor that you know is untrue, stand up and let the person know it is wrong. Think about how you would feel if someone spread an untrue rumor about you. Don’t laugh, send the message on to friends, or add to the story. Make it clear that you do not think that kind of behavior is cool or funny.
Get friends involved. Share this site (and other related sites) with friends. Let people know that you are an upstander and encourage them to be one too. Sign the Stand Up Pledge, and make it an everyday commitment for you and your friends.
Make friends outside of your circle. Eat lunch with someone who is alone. Show support for a person who is upset at school, by asking them what is wrong or bringing them to an adult who can help.
Be aware of the bullying and upstander policies at your school and keep it in mind when you witness bullying. What are the school’s bully prevention policies? Are there also policies that “catch” kids “being good”? How can you support school rules and codes of conduct support students and adults doing the right thing? If there isn’t a policy, get involved or ask teachers or front office staff to speak about how you can reduce bullying.
Welcome new students. If someone is new at your school, make an effort to introduce them around and make them comfortable. Imagine how you would feel leaving your friends and coming to a new school.
Refuse to be a “bystander” and be a role model to others instead! If you see friends or classmates laughing along with the bully, tell them that they are contributing to the problem. Let them know that kind of behavior is not okay in your school.
Respect others’ differences and help others to respect differences. It’s cool for people to be different—that’s what makes all of us unique. Join a diversity club at school to help promote tolerance in your school.
Develop an Upstander/ Prevention program or project with a teacher or principal’s support that will help reduce bullying and promote socially responsible behavior in school. Bring together a team of students, parents and teachers who are committed to preventing bullying, and create a community-wide project to raise awareness, share stories and develop helpful supports. Learn more about how to start an Upstander Alliance at www.bullybust.org/upstander and access free support to sustain your team.

What Is Your Emoticons Saying About You?

Oct9

Most everyone, whether you are an adult or teen, have experienced what a headache it can be to have something you’ve written be misread or taken out of context – the back-pedaling, the awkward explanations, and then explaining the explanations.

Yes, communicating online is a tricky thing.

Since the creation of emoticons, thankfully, we’ve had some visual cues at our disposal to help convey feeling or intent more clearly. Emoticons, or icons that indicate emotion by the use of keyboard characters, have become an integral part of our online lexicon.

As a textual shorthand for everything from instant messaging to text messaging, there are 10 essential emoticons you need to know:

🙂 The Smiley Face – This one is the grand-daddy of them all, the first-born of our “iconic” lingo. It tells the reader that whatever is said in association with it is intended to be read in a friendly/jovial/non-threatening tone.
😉 The Wink – Another versatile character, this emoticon expresses anything from playfulness, flirtation, to a sort of “just between you and me” confidentiality. It’s also frequently used, as is the smiley face, to say “just kidding”. Careful with these two. Use them too often, and it becomes obvious to the recipient that you’re really not just kidding.
😦 The Frown – Expresses sadness, disapproval, sympathy, or “I just figured out that you really aren’t just kidding”. I told you to be careful.
😀 The Laughing Face – Self-explanatory, but context is important here. You’d like to know, after all, whether you’re sharing in the laugh – or being laughed at.
:^* The Kiss – When you’ve moved beyond the simple smile or flirtatious wink, it’s time to pucker up with this little number. This can be used to maximum effect when combined with:
( ) The Hug – A parenthetic embrace, the hug conveys affection or empathy. Additional parentheses can be used for emphasis, but use this one sparingly, lest it lose its charm. Also, as in the case of all emoticons, the hug is not recommended for business correspondence. You could be labeled a suck-up … or worse.
❤ The Heart – Another emoticon for saying ‘I love you’. When used in conjunction with the kiss and the hug, now you’re really getting sappy. Easy does it. You can’t take these things back, you know.
:-O The Surprised Face – This one expresses shock or dismay, as in:“I can’t believe you just e-mailed hugs to the GM, you suck-up”. Combine this with the laughing face when someone shares a bawdy joke or story.
Confused Face – Bewilderment, apprehension. “How am I going to explain those hugs to all my co-workers, and what the heck was I thinking using Reply All, anyway?”
{ } No Comment – Empty brackets indicate that you’ve got nothing to say in response. You probably should have learned the difference before replying to that office email from the GM.

Source: Internet Service Providers

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Education in the 21st Century

Oct1

In today’s dynamic classrooms, the teaching and learning process is becoming more nuanced, more seamless, and it flows back and forth from students to teachers.

Source: TopMastersInEducation.com

Back to School: Dealing with Peer Pressure

Aug17

No matter what grade your child is entering, from elementary school to college campuses – some kids will be facing the judgment of their peers.

“Peer pressure is not always bad. It can be very good. It can be encouraging. Sometimes a person may not want to choose hi-risk behaviors and may not want to do the wrong thing because they know their friends aren’t into that.”

– Dr. Marilyn Billingsly, pediatrician

It’s conventional wisdom that peer pressure is a powerful force in the lives of kids, especially teenagers. A new University study reminds us that while peer pressure can push kids into risky behavior, it can also help kids do the right thing.

Alex Shillinger is in court facing drug charges. He says he was “worn down” by peer pressure to try marijuana.

“There were constantly people telling me, ‘Come on, just try it, just one time, it’ll be fine,’” says Alex, 18.

On the other hand, because of peer pressure, Ambra says she’s never done drugs or alcohol or had sex.

“Being around people like that, just like myself, it keeps me motivated,” says Ambra, 17.

Peers can be powerful influences, for both goodandbad behavior. A new study from the University of Southern California found that kids were less likely to use drugs if they were in a substance abuse program taught by other kids.

Of course, it depends on the friends — and parents have little control over that.

“I think it makes it even more important for parents to know their kids’ friends and the parents of their kids friends and monitor what’s going on with the group of friends,” Dr. Carol Drummond, Ph.D., psychologist.

If you suspect that one of your child’s friends isusing drugs, experts say to make your views on drugs loud and clear and tell your child you’re worried.

“Sometimes your kid will come back and say, ‘Listen, Mom, I know he’s drinking, doing drugs; I am not doing that.’ But at least you’ve gotten a chance to plant that message that you’ve got worries. You’ve got to watch your own child. And if you feel like you have some concern that your child is making bad decisions, then you need to act aggressively,” says Dr. Judy Wolman, Ph.D., psychologist.

Tips for Parents

Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For example, positive peer pressure can be used to pressure bullies into acting better toward other kids. If enough kids get together, peers can pressure each other into doing what’s right. (Nemours Foundation)
Some good behaviors that friends can pressure each other to do include: be honest, be nice, exercise, avoid alcohol, respect others, avoid drugs, work hard, don’t smoke. (National Institutes of Health, NIH)
You and your friends can pressure each other into some things that will improve your health and social life and make you feel good about your decisions. (NIH)

References

National Institutes of Health (NIH)

Sue Scheff – Author and Parent Advocate