Some people wrongly assume that teaching is a good career choice for a woman who wants to start a family. They are wrong. For females, teaching is far less compatible with having a young family than other professions.
I don’t want to worry any young teachers who are planning to start a family – these challenges are not insurmountable. But I want to manage your expectations. And for those teachers who choose not to have children of their own, I ask that you read this post with a sense of empathy for your child-bearing colleagues.
Challenges
I wonder whether school leaders are aware of how difficult it is to be a teacher with a young family. If you’re a headteacher in the UK then it’s likely that the majority of your teaching staff are female and under 45. Of those teachers, probably around 80% either have children or plan to have children. So the issues I’m addressing in this post are applicable to a significant number of employees.
A head should be aware of all the factors that make teaching a challenging profession. By offering the appropriate support mechanisms, their school will gain a reputation as a good employer where all talented employees feel valued, regardless of gender, age and life choices.
In this post I want to look at what makes it particularly hard to juggle teaching with being a mum. If I can increase awareness on the part of school leaders, that will be a good start.
Let me first explain my reason for focusing on mums but not dads. From what I’ve seen, teaching works well for fathers of young children. The main reason for this is the school holidays – teacher dads get to spend a lot more quality time with their kids than non-teacher dads do. The time lost at weekends during term-time to marking and lesson planning is gained over summer.
In this post, I’m assuming that teacher mums are the primary carers. Apologies – I am stereotyping for simplicity.
Life Events
Now I’m not a particularly sentimental person, but I can guarantee I’ll shed a tear on my daughter’s first day at school. This isn’t because I’m deeply worried about the quality of the education she will receive (though that is a worry), but because it will be such a huge life-changing event for my family. Sending my daughter off to school is a really big deal. Waving her off in her little uniform and wiping away her tears will be incredibly emotional. Even more so for me because I won’t bloody be there will I? I’ll be at my school, probably sitting in a pointless Inset day. So I’ll be delegating this huge life-changing moment, a day when my daughter needs me more than ever, to a childminder.
The same goes for school plays, sports days and other big events. For my daughter’s nativity play I will make her costume, help her practise her lines, comfort her nerves, but I won’t be able to watch her big moment. Sad for me, and sad for her.
Working Patterns
Most mums of young children want to work part-time. They want, perhaps need, to remain in employment when their children are young, but they also want to spend time with their offspring – that’s only logical. Part-time teaching jobs are very hard to come by. And if you’re lucky enough to find a school that will let you teach 3 or 4 days a week, you will probably be stuck there. You could be treated appallingly and you’d have to stay, because there are no part-time opportunities elsewhere.
I understand the business case here. Part-time teachers can be hard to timetable. At my school they now have a policy of turning down all requests for part-time working. Their argument is that they need full-time teachers to be form tutors. It’s been heart-breaking for many members of staff at my school. Talented and hard-working teachers have gone off to have a baby then been told that they can not return part-time. Refusing to let the school take them away from their children, these women have been forced to resign. They are not only devastated at losing their job, but also financially crippled by having to pay back their maternity pay. A horrible situation for a woman who feels she has no option other than to leave teaching. What a difficult thing for a mum with a new baby to deal with.
Those who do manage to secure a part-time position are at the mercy of inconsiderate timetabling. They are made to feel like a huge inconvenience – part-timers in other industries are not treated this way. At my school absolutely no consideration is given to childcare costs and arrangements. One teacher was expected to come into work on Mondays and Thursdays in ‘Week 1’ and random periods on Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons in ‘Week 2’ – it’s almost impossible to find childcare for the kind of inconsistent working patterns that arise from two-week timetables, especially at short notice (nursery places are filled months in advance).
‘Evening’ events that start at 4pm are also incredibly difficult and expensive to make arrangements for. Part-time teachers spend a huge proportion of their meagre salary on childcare, and spend much of their time worrying about how they are going to make childcare arrangements for the many events they are expected to attend outside of their paid working hours.
The inflexibility of working hours is another complication. My daughter’s nursery opens at 8am – I’m expected to be at school at 8.15am. I drop her off as soon as the nursery opens its doors and then speed to work, arriving stressed at the last minute, to face colleagues glaring at me, thinking I’m disorganised or lazy. Meanwhile my friends in other industries have negotiated more easily achievable start times. I know this situation can’t be helped, there’s nothing anyone can do about it, I just want people to be aware of the stressful life teacher mums lead.
Time off
No-one wants to take time off sick. Especially not teachers, because our students suffer. When you have young children, they get sick more than you’d anticipate. An unwell child can not be sent to nursery. Mum is forced to take a day off and suffer that crippling guilt of letting people down. And, while she holds her sick baby in her arms, frantically worried about the health of her child, she is expected to prioritise sending cover work to school over caring for her baby. She is forced to put her sick child down, open her computer and do some work. And while she sits in a doctor’s waiting room, exhausted and frantic, she receives angry emails from work about reporting deadlines and marking workload. Horrible.
Communication
In my experience, schools are pretty bad at communicating. A lot of communication is done informally. In fact the primary medium for sharing staff news at my school – new recruits, leavers, promotions etc – is ‘the grapevine’. This frustrates all staff, especially part-timers who are the last to know everything.
At my school we have a weekly briefing every Monday morning in which all the important information for the week is shared with staff. If you’re a part-timer not scheduled to work on a Monday, tough. You have to muddle through the week on the snippets of information you’re lucky enough to pick up. This one is easily fixed – minutes from briefings and staff meetings should be circulated afterwards as a matter of priority.
Final Thoughts
No employer likes it when a member of staff gets pregnant. It’s disruptive and costly, but it is par for the course if you are in the business of employing human beings. Accept it, be mature, be kind.
Part-time staff can be useful ‘timetable fillers’. My school controls how many days I work, which makes it difficult for me to manage my finances, but they can decide whether I work 2 or 4 days a week, or anything in between. This is more helpful for timetabling than a workforce made up entirely of full-time teachers. So I’m not as much of an inconvenience as I’m led to believe.
When I returned to work from maternity leave I had no desk to work at, nowhere to park my car, no pigeonhole in the staffroom. It was the most unkind ‘welcome’ I’d ever experienced. A bit of thoughtfulness on the part of leadership would go a long way. It’s wonderful to see that John Tomsett’s school sets a good example – I was delighted to read of his thoughtful policies in his article ‘How can headteachers and leaders promote staff wellbeing?‘.
So, young women who want to start families, before you get distracted thinking about all the lovely school holidays you’ll get to spend with your children, think about the sacrifices and the challenges. I’m not saying don’t have children. For most people that’s non-negotiable. I’m saying that if you want children, think carefully before becoming a teacher.
Further Reading
I had this post in draft for months but was prompted to publish it after I read ‘When you’re a teacher, every child matters but your own‘.
