Ha! I bet you wish (all 4 of you very kind people) that I’d stayed away!
Today's question is: do you go into public buildings eh? Libraries, Town Halls, god forbid schools etc? Well do you?
Keep your eyes peeled because this October every public building over 1000 square metres must display an Energy Certificate!
How wonderful. This is sure to make us all so much more efficient. What an enterprising ruse by the government to spend tax payers’ money on another brainless scheme. And furthermore there are no consequences if you come out badly! But, there is a £1000 fine if you don’t display your certificate. Scary eh? What total f*ckwit thinks these things up?
Here at my jolly little public (sic) school it will cost us in the region £1600. Which we don’t have (it’s those expensive pencils again). In a fit of pique (the flags set me off) I emailed the DCFS and the Energy Commission and asked if there was additional funding available towards the cost.
I had a very long and wordy response which basically said that they couldn’t afford it and it was the responsibility of the occupier. (Who do they think we work for?)
14 comments:
You've got access to a computer. Why not design your own certificate?
Presumably there will be publicly-funded inspectors visiting these buildings each year to check the certificates are displayed?
"This obligation was introduced by law and is to be enforced by Trading Standards Officers."
http://www.communities.gov.uk/planningandbuilding/theenvironment/energyperformance/certificates/displayenergycertificates/displayenergycertificates/
should you have nothing better to do than read this twaddle!
This is all that remains of the socialist programme. The faith of bureaucratic fuckwits that they can improve the lives of the people by labelling things and counting them. Brave new world, that has such fuckwits in it!
You should make a stand! Tell them to stick their energy certificate up their bottoms!
You could be the Tollpuddle 1, they won't burn you at the stake because of health and safety concerns regarding the carbon emissions.
I head a brilliant quote on QI this week. It was made regarding all the excessive testing in schools, but is very apt here as well:
"You don't fatten a pig by weighing it every day."
*heard
Issue 41 of The Idler is given over to a quite interesting discussion about how the ideas behind QI could be used to re-invigorate education. Huzza! say I, for one. Link
Check the statutes, Zig...you may still be eligible for transportation to the colonies and we could be neihghbours! Mind you, this daft country makes immigrants take a "knowledge exam." And, as most locals couldn't answer some questions, the test is being revamped.
We're having a chuckle and being flippant, but my ears steam when I think what the Jarrow Marchers(and others) were really about. How the *$#!* can that Downing Street ponce call himself a socialist!
I weight my pigs every week - it's good exercise for us all.
Grrrrrr now I am angry and I haven't even had my breakfast.
It's time for us to say, that's enough. We don't need your stupid ways anymore. We are adults and we can look after ourselves. Get out of our faces and leave us alone to live our lives.
Energy certificate bollocks! I'm not playing anymore, and I respectfully advise anyone involved with any bollocks like that, to stay well away from me, because I will not be responsible for my actions in their presence.
Like you say Ziggi, who are they and where do they hang out. It's hard to believe such arseholes exist.
Sorry to digress, I am just concerned about my dear friend Tom, who is "angry and I haven't even had my breakfast". Either he is making an obscure reference to "The Sweeney", or I infer that having his breakfast usually makes him angry. This is disturbing (and I haven't even had my lunch yet). What is it about breakfast that makes him angry? Surely not the entirely organic ingredients? I have, at times, had breakfast with him (unlike most of you I have never spent the night with him), and have never seen anything disturb his normal placid and serene nature, even when I took the last spoonful of "Mrs Tonks's organic rhubarb conserve". I suggest we all go and give him an early morning communal hug.
I hope that this helps.
No Vicus, it doesn't help at all. Grrrrrrr
It's a cunning plot by the Establishment to keep us all in line. They give the impression of wanting all our little darlings to be educated. That, of course, is nonsense. Educate the masses and you get big trouble for those in charge. That's why you spend money on flags and energy certificates rather than books and pencils. With luck you end up with a public that has no interest in anything other than soaps, game shows and mobile phones that can tell the time in Reykyavik. Simple, but clever.
get Queenie to sign the flags (or - even better - fake her signature, Banksy style with a stencil and some spray paint) and then sell them on eBay to royalists or unsuspecting American tourists. . .
(no offence to your American readers)
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