I interrupt this broadcast (but I still need recipes people, EASY recipes, appetisers and desserts required) to tell you about my new toyboy.
I am so happy with him, his name is Tim and he’s a Tom Tom. I have been yearning for one of these for many (many many many) months nay years, but Himself has always claimed that they are useless for a person who can’t tell left from right. Plus he says that anyone with ½ a brain can find their way from A to B with a map and the internet.
I have a whole brain in adequate working order for my needs and therefore am obviously a prime candidate for such a nifty bit of kit so in the end I wore him down and he has bought me one!
I love it, it’s true I can’t listen to Tim because he tells me right or left and I don’t know what he’s talking about BUT he also shows me with a big arrow on a map which I’m quite capable of following. Indeed I drove from home to work this morning without going wrong once!
But better than this map reading, direction lark, he asked me this morning did I want him to connect to my phone? Why not I thought? So I told him
“Go right ahead Timmy boy, do your worst”. Within a mere nano second he'd done it (I’ve never known a male to be so efficient) and then he asked if I wanted him to download my phone book,
“Certainly, be my guest” I told him.
I was driving along (the right road) when suddenly Tim flashed onto the screen.
“You have a message” He hollered!
And then he read it out!
Can you believe this? I was so astounded I nearly drove into a tree.
I couldn’t understand a word of it but it was from my daughter and I can never understand her texts either so I don’t blame Tim, after all he’s only learning, but I was ever so impressed with him.
So, if anyone wants visiting I’m your man. There’s nowhere I can’t find now and nowhere I can’t go. Just call Tim, he’ll tell you.
17 comments:
I've been wondering about the glorious benefits of Tom-Tom. I'm happy that Tim has pleased you so. If you can hold your breath for long enough, drive by any time!
Just give him my coordinates and when you get here I'll show you how to make Beef Wellington and tell you how to stew a cockatoo.
Just don't take him TOO literally;remember that chap in Germany who turned right when told and disappeared into a huge construction site!
They're his guests - why doesn't he cook?
R - hold my breath? why?
D - that probably involves pastry doesn't it?
Mang - HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
good point
As you know, my Tom Tom managed to find your house. Mine is lived-in by a young woman called Jane.
It does seem counter-intuitive to accept directions from a woman, but she seems quite competent. For a woman.
Of course you have 'a whole brain in adequate working order' you explained H's principle perfectly.
Does Tim sound like Tom Tom Baker who read out messages for BT?
I couldn't understand him either.
If I had another voice talking to me constantly I would SCREAM. That is why I choose to continue with Mapquest and my other alternative, which is getting lost.
Can't help you in the recipe department (I have a lot of them but never tried them), having CIADHD myself. But I would never cook for RAJ again. Like my kids say (about my cooking), "It's dead, it has no fur on it, it's cooked, it's on a plate in front of you. Just eat it."
Ooh! For a chap functioning at less than optimal, Dave is taking chances!
(With the remarks, I mean; not with Jane.Although, maybe...)
chook stuff at my place today.I also know a story about a man from Barbados, but you'll have to email me for that!
Dave - !
Kaz - are you talking H for Heisenberg of H for Himself?! Tim has a slight Irish accent and I'm getting just a tad bored with him being so bossy, he may have to be 'adjusted'.
Carmy - He gets a bit tutty when you disagree with him - I feel sure he called me 'fool' the other day.
Dinah - what haven't you done in your life????!!!!!
sounds like you know that story?
So how did the dinner go? Anyone dead?
I was given a Navman by a pal. I had vowed I would never have one but, Hell, when it's free.....
Anyway, I've programmed mine to speak in German (you can do it, you know). You can still look at the little map and read the instructions but, as an added bonus, you get this dom foreign creature screaming "Ride me, Britisher pig! Fuck me 'til I fart!!" Well, that's what it sounds like. Really breaks up the day. I call her Hildegaard.
where are the dinner photos?
I haven't paid a subscription to this column to read about satellite navigation (the best way for a witch to find her way thru her constellations tho, it seems)
actually, I haven't paid a subscription to read this column. . .
*shuffles out meekly*
If he's your toyboy, then I'm your boytoy. I bet he can't take out the garbage, can he, that Timmy?
Uh...did the dinner already happen? If it hasn't, I'd suggest you buy a crockpot (as opposed to a crackpot, the bill for which Himself apparently already fills).
All you have to do is find a recipe (I'd suggest something Spanish), get all the ingredients, basically throw them in and turn the thing on.
Six or eight hours later, PRESTO! It's all done!
I have a headache :(
yeay! she's alive!! (thought I'd poisoned you. . .)
XXX
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