Bitter Sweet

I have a bitter sweet relationship with Mother's Day.  I love my mom.  She is the best and I could celebrate her every day.  But since I lived so many years without being a mom, Mother's Day took on a different meaning as I grew up.  At first I was just single, not knowing if I'd ever get married.  Then at 27 (3 weeks before 28) I did it!!  I convinced someone to marry me and he did!  But then it would be more than 10 years before I would be a mom.  And again, not knowing if I ever would be.  While I wanted to be a mom, I trusted my Heavenly Father and knew that it would all work according to His plan.  I knew woman who never were mothers and knew that could be me.  I loved being an aunt.  I had lots of practice and many opportunities to hold babies and spoil kids.  I could get my fill without being a mother.  But one Mother's Day, before I was married, all of the mothers were asked to stand at the end of the church meeting to receive a gift.  I did not stand.  I was not a mother.  I didn't feel the need to be included.  I was there to honor my mother.  Several well meaning people around told me to stand, that someday I would be a mother.  I didn't want to but they were insistent.  I was okay with sitting but they were not.  After all it wasn't Woman's Day, it's Mother's Day.  After we were married and after Dave's dad died, we avoided church on Mother's & Father's Day.  I didn't need the "Someday it will be you".  How do you know.  Maybe not.  Not being a mother doesn't make me any less of a woman, just makes me not a mother.  Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us.  And yes, for most woman His plan includes children, but not all.  I've enjoyed these last 4 Mother's Days.  But I was okay before too.  It just wasn't my day then.  I honor all woman.  There are some great women who walked with me a different times in my life.  But today I honor the mothers in my life.  The mothers who raise my nieces & nephews and my great nieces & nephews.  The mothers who raised my cousins and my friends.  And most of all the mother who raised me and taught me how to be a great mother so hopefully my kids will honor me.

New Chapter

I've started a new blog.  It does not take the place of this personal blog.  I just need a place to share my feelings about this new chapter in my life.  Feel free to check it out.  Feel free to share it with others.
http://raisingmywildchild.blogspot.com/