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Things were going fairly well this morning.
Then I woke up.
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04:20hrs: Night catheter pouch taken off. Thought I’d put the news on to see if World War Three had started yet. The internet came on, so I assumed not. Bags sorted, and the innards informed me that I needed to attend the Porcelain Throne. I did. It was one heck of a long visit, too!
Lots of arghs, owowows, ugeeeers, and much forcing and pain; things began to move. A few ‘flipping hecks’ further, and the torpedo evacuated. Relief!

Cleaned up, and off to the kitchenette to get the kettle on to make a brew of 99 tea.
Not only did I leave the tap running, but I dropped the milk bottle. What a mess to clean up. Made the tea, left it to brew, took two snaps of the morning view to the right, then left. Not that much shows up.
Started the computer, and nipped to the kitchen to take some photographs now that it was getting later and lighter. Both were taken through the balcony’s closed windows. But they turned out a smidge better than I thought they might. The end-of-car-park photo on the right here seemed to show some activity. A few vehicles had their lights on. Only one car had parked on the chevrons this morning.
This one came out much clearer and more detailed.

The Asda order came after seven o’clock. Apparently, I ordered all the right things this time. No hidden unknown extras for once.

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News of the crane crashing down on a moving train in Thailand. I checked for updates on Friday morning: 32 dead, 68 injured. Then found that two people were killed, with many injured, after a construction crane collapsed onto a highway in Thailand, a day after a crane accident in Thailand. Leaving 32 people dead.
I feel terrible for them and their relatives. RIP.

Misty
Turning into fog, methinks.

Getting thicker, later.
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IN THE LATE AFTERNOON
I was working in CorelDraw and seemed to be doing all right, as it happens. I should never think things like this with my famously bad luck?
I wanted to add a page to the file, simple enough, drop menu – press Add New Page, what could go wrong? Well, something did, obviously. Possibly, with only one eye working, courtesy of Cataract Katie, I may have clicked the incorrect option. I may never know, cause all the page tabs disappeared! Leaving a grey-blue continuous strip where the tabs were seconds earlier.
Naturally, Panic Set In. Not having the slightest idea what I’d done or not done right didn’t help my investigation on how to get them back.
My language, through frustration, was abysmally bad & abusive. Boy, did I get angry with myself? YES!
Thought I’d take a look at the option list to see if I could identify the problem. See if there was an option on it to remove tabs or something similar.
I felt a bit of an idiot (fair enough). When I actually got the mouse to where the tabs should have been, the grey-blue continuous strip, I realised the drop-down arrow was on the tabs that were no longer there!
Depression, frustration and self-lambasting all increased in unison. Hope was fading here!
Something I do regularly with CorelDraw cock-ups, is try to save everything, close it down & other programs. Run a Virus Check. Then turn off the computer. CorelDraw let me close it down in the usual way. So I did this again. I happened to note the time as I did this, 17:30hrs. It took 15minutes to save the file!
This did not bode very well for a successful outcome. I pressed on with little faith, Sved Excel, Notebook, Internet and MS Word. Ran the Virus Check & Cleaner, then turned it off. After a couple of minutes, I unplugged the computer and went to make a brew. To give the computer & peripherals enough time to cool. A Carer arrived, and he could not help but notice my crochety frame of mind.

This, of course, meant my concentration dissolved.

After issuing the medications, we spoke of the Doctor’s visit next Wednesday… not sure I was paying enough attention, because I can’t recall if we’d arranged to do anything? The limited brainpower was still pondering over the thought of how to get the CorelDraw page tabs back and avoid being unable to do the blog.
My biggest fear.
Thanked Ejaz and off he went. I just had to go back to my efforts getting the page tags back.

And I did. But , I could remember what I’d done and not… although it did come back to me after I’d given up and started the chips & pie meal. I remembered how long it took to save the CorelDraw file.  Used CCleaner, just in case I’d missed it. Not a lot of junk was picked up, so I assumed I’d done it earlier. More time lost.
\\\\\\I brought me meal to the computer and nibbled at it as I waited for the computer to boot up.
Restarted the computer as the meal got colder.
Fingers crossed, I opened CorelDraw.
The Page Tabs were still missing!
I saw the funny side, then laughed gave a smile,
No longer annoyed, and after a afterwhile,
Is getting annoyed & angry, worthwhile?
Silly of me to get worked-up & volatile,
What am I saying, wait a while…
This is just not my usual style,
That’s cause really I’m full of bile!
I’m feeling rather adversarial…
My talk of me laughing, was artificial,
Then Friday morning came a miracle!
I got the tabs back on, then just as terrible,
I lost Grammarly… abominable,
They now use AI, no one is talk-to-able,
After two hours of advice, questionable,
I’d got 14 tabs open on Google…
Told IT I’d dementia, thtat was ignorable
I want to leave Grammarly, quickly,
A.I.’s instructions were simply,
Confused, I need to check my spelling.
Grammarly, I want to be leaving,
Just follow these instructions…
Six more tabs, I gave up!

Then the Age Concern Lady phoned. Can’t recall what shew said apart from she’ll call me back. (Friday), cause I won’t be able to do a blog now, until things get sorted. Which I an’t see happening. Mind you, I have some graphics ready done.
Christine, the Age UK lady rang back. She is sending a letter to the doctor about my situation. And as contacted the Social Services. They will get in touch with me later about a possible move to a home. I’ll miss the morning photographing and the tree copse. Then again, I may not be able to do any blogging unless I can get help with the current problems. Memory boost, Grammarly & CorelDraw.

And maybe I can get help with the Grammarly farce. Wot am I saying – Huh!

Keep well, and A;; the Bestest.
Ah saw it… All the Bestest!

TTFN

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Broken sleep, wake-ups delivered (that I recall) from Twitching-Neck-Ted, Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley, and with Acid-Reflux-Fred on last awakening, I assume that must have had nocturnal Seizures. 
By the time I rose, detached the night catheter bag, and visited the Porcelain Throne, Carer Ejaz was coming in.

Very oddly, Ejaz told me I was all over the place and not talking usually. How did I not know this? Once the idea lodged in my nut, it became apparent I was meandering mentally and physically. Odd, this was!
He got me to sit down, and it was obvious he was right. My balance was terrible, and Ejaz wanted to call for help. He issued the medications, but didn’t do any creaming or foaming, as I wished to get the ablutions done. With the lad’s caring nature and activities, within five minutes, I felt much more transparent, aware, and better balanced. I do occasionally have mornings like this, but I’ve always been aware of how I felt, but not this morning. I think the new medication could be affecting me, because out-of-mornings are getting more regular since starting the Ezetimibe tablets. Also, the urine has darkened appreciably. Both are on the long list of side effects. And maybe the ‘make you feel more tired & drained’, too?

I stripped and went off to the wet room for a scrub-up.
The shave produced just one teeny-weeny cut, and the after-shave soon stopped it. But afterwards, I realised that I’d not done an outstanding job of shaving. Trouble is, the hair I had was blonde, but now it is almost a transparent white. I felt it, but could not see it in the mirror. Could cataract Katie have been the cause? Or Peripheral Pete? I lost the plot again!
Got the teeth done, but was annoyed. Putting it mildly. Body scrub, and got on with, the . Well, here I could get at.
Olive oil, the earholes, eye drops, spray, and cream . Got the hearing aids in.
Then put some foam on , with the aid of the Short-Picker-Upper-Unwin. 

Got a khagoul and dressing gown on, and went on the computer. I was well and truly behind with the blogging again, Humph! As per usual nowadays.

I took a break after an hour or so to take several photos of the morning view. Which were to appear here. Had I not left the Kodak-Tim-2 SD card in the computer slot last time I used it? But they were not very good.

GOOD & BAD LUCK: Then I set out to find the long-missing MS Word lists… wait for it…
And I found one, well, two! Miraculous! There’s always a but – But, it got so convoluted during the searching in files that I knew nothing about, I’ll be ganged if I can find it again to retrieve the other one that was hidden in the maze of confusing sections of the computer. 
They were both old ones, one from 2004, the other from 2014. So I opened the 2014 one, to find that it had not been alphabetised. That was it for the next four hours. I was so overjoyed to find and upload it. Although it hasn’t been sorted, it has dampened the spirits a smidge. But I was determined to make a start on it. Four hours later, I had to stop; time and mental fatigue had caught up with me. It was an enormous file, and I think I’d only done about 10% of it, if that much. Yet still had an admittedly diminished joy at finding it in the first place. I was sort of Semi-Smug, now.

Then lost heart a little further. When I couldn’t get back to where I’d found the files, more time was lost.
I couldn’t remember where I’d found them earlier. them. History searched, then realised it would not be on the internet anyway. During this failed farting about, many things happened.

Carer called, got another Warfarin dosage through the post. Ejaz did the creaming and foaming of areas I could not reach earlier.
In between, I did take some pictures.
But mainly of the views

First one.
Later…

Colourful.

Then the nosh


= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

TTFN

 

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Another of the repeated reluctant to get out of bed awakenings. Not sure how many times I nodded off again, but it was 07:30hrs when the Carer woke me with the sound of the admission intercom.
I got tangled up in the long tube from the nocturnal catheter pouch as I hobbled half-awake to the control panel in the mini-hallway. Clouted my right shoulder against the wall, trying not to fall. And Shaking-Shoulder-Shirley Dawned. She was on and off all day long. Can’t work out why she now hurts when shuddering too; up to two days ago, she didn’t at all.
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The body rots,
Mental problems? Lots,
Bills, debts, no honeypots,
Failures disasters & hotchpots,
An HMG of oligarchs & idiots,
I won no lottery jackpots,
Senility, at a good rate of knots,
No more sex, but I get the hots,
Instead, I just wash the pots…
People replaced with AI & robots,
I’m getting more late-life crisis,
I need help, and/or diorthosis,
To cope with this late-life circus…
Want to see the early-blooming crocus,
Before I leave this hocus pocus…
To St Peter’s Gate; I am temerarious!
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An uptight Sunday
But High-Mood-Horis, in his way,
kept Depression Darius at bay.
Naturally not for all day,

I do so love doing wordsmithery,
Although I’m ageing & getting doddery,
I’ve never ever won on the lottery…
But that doesn’t mean a lot to me,
Try to help others along my way,
Spread a little joy, every day,
I’ll merrily greet fading-away,
Forget the cardiopulmonary,
Being shot twice, once on my birthday,
To whom should I pray?
For a less painful, but peaceful day?
Putin? Trump, someone heavenly?
Forgive my foolery & foppery,
It’s the new medications you see…
I blame it mainly on my ancestry,
Many relatives have been locked away,
Called Mad-Houses, back in the day,
Lunatic asylum, nut farm for the barmy,
Now, a mental health facility,
The men in whitecoats missed Gerry,
Now, they want me sent to a facility… 
A Residential Home is that for Inchie?
Lost the plot again, admittedly,
The telephone rang, interruptingly,
My bank wants to see me at the Trustee,
A bill to pay and not enough money…
I’ve heard nowt from the NHS Neurology,
Or from the Orthopaedic, at the QMC,
To check on my fractured knee,
Ah, well, I’ll make a mug of tea, 
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Light coating of snow
Not many lights on again.07:50hrs, No Carer yet. Hope
he’s alright.
Lights on, getting lighter.
Got carried away, lost the plot and did
more work on the Word Lists.

I rang the Carers to see if anyone had been
or not. At first, she said that he had been; I was about to thank her and apologise, and she realised that, indeed, he had not been yet. He is on his way now. Fair enough, as long as I hadn’t forgotten.Took another view.
Jenny rang me to say that someone from Age UK would be calling me at 11:30 hours, bless her again. She’d rang them and told them of my struggles. Bless her. 💟I couldn’t concentrate now, so I put the TV on.

Carers desk, table.

The INR blood taker arrived. Enoxaparin injections
are due to start again if the level gets lower.

The Age UK lady rang. Mega-long Q&A session. So she knew my problems. Naturally, she could do nothing about the Neurology absence of contact, the seizures, Fractured-knee Frank, Arthur Itis, the Cataract, the Cramps, Cartilage Cloe and Carol, Glaucoma Gladys,  or Shaking Shoulder Shirley.
She will contact Social Services to discuss whether anything can be done, what action, if any, is needed, and whether any decisions can be mandated. Other options to be addressed.
This is where the kind patient lady asked if I had considered going into a home. I said previously that I had fought against this happening. However, now things had got so much worse healthwise and helpwise, yes, although still semi-reluctantly, I would be willing, after discovering the ways & wherewithals of the home. I related the incident after the stroke when I was put into a home for 6 weeks to help me recover. I also mentioned my problems with the bank, arithmaphobia and an unaccountable fear of opening letters. I’ve a stack of them in the flat, but I’m too scared to open them. Why? I don’t know. And this is the first time I’ve revealed this problem to anyone other than Jenny.
So many difficulties, no solutions. I brought up the Virgin and EE problems as well. But so many, I’m not sure I made a lot of sense. At times, I forgot what I was saying in mid-sentence. I must have done myself no good with this interview. It probably scares them at the thought of putting me in their home?

Surgery phoned with new Warfarin dosages. Have I already said this? Errors galore.

Blue Hue this morning.

Late start on the computer.

Sidetracked onto the word list.

Sundays, I missed off. Tsk!

Evening shot.

Late views.

TTFN
Sorry, this isn’t up to standard.
New worries came in, and fighting.
Darius was hard work, in a way.

Haveth a Good Day

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Humans from different nations should be mingleable
Nations resist being intergratable, annexable,
I blame them for being self-financially acquiral,
Oligarchs, Politicians, unrightly boondoggle,
They rob, steal. Kill fellow humans,  brangle…
Haves & have-nots rarely commingle,
Words rarely exchanged, mostly conjectural,
With unknown illnesses, cerebral, neuronal…
Evil thoughts & desires, greedy, demurral, 
Were we the same when we were primordial?
Did cavemen have dinosaur cordial?
Compared to us, did they have less trouble?
We have heart attacks and seizures…
COPD, wars, arthritis in the knees,
So many kinds of rapaciousness,
Hate crimes, cancers and murders…
Neanderthals, of course, had no doctors,
Mine is Sherrington Park Medical Practice,
Appoints? First, there’s the artificial intelligence,
If you are lucky and give the correct answers,
You get through to the ‘Care Navigators’,
Whose soul task is to issue bullhittings…
To stop you seeing the Doctors…
Emergency ring 999, 111 or Chemists,
Do not phone if you want prescriptions!
Email us, and not text us!
His clever claptrap discourages,
Little Faith Left in the NHS!
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Time is a big enemy of Inchie. So Much he’d like to write, but so much happened, and it’s gone midnight already. I’ll skip the hogwash; leave the bits out.
Finish it tomorrow afternoon.
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Early morning view.

Waste bags collated.

Spuds readied for tonight.
Leaving them out helps
me remember the meal plan.

Made a brew. I intend to crack on with blogging.
Due to Doreen’s Dementia, this did not happen!

A J Sainsbury food order arrived.
UNSODDING BELIEVABLE!
There was no stopping Depression Darius, and Frustration Frank was dawning after this!
Obviously, I ordered it, I know this from the food delivered, my regular gastronomic choices. But, when and why did I? I must have ordered it. I had an Asda order on Saturday, but I knew I’d placed it. I just ordered it for the wrong week. I got so confused and angry with myself. I’m short of cash as it is. The self-lambasting started the moment the driver left. I stored the fodder away. Spitting, shouting, and cursing as I did. I hope the neighbours didn’t hear me. How I need the promised help with this problem. From the neurologist who has not contacted me since November.
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I had not really calmed myself down by the time I got the food away. I emailed Jenny to make sure where the freebies were to be left. The C|theter needed emptying, and what a dark colour it was. I hope it was not an effect of the new tablets. To help stop myself thinking about the cock-ups, I got ready to hoover the hallway.
But it didn’t get done. I had to visit the Porcelain Throne, and it took me ages to clean and wash up afterwards. Trotsky Terence was back in charge.
A messy session in the extreme! I walked by the Hoover, but then I was back to talking to myself, changing subjects as I nattered along.
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The Carer arrived. Gave me a body check, foamed and creamed areas in need. Medications were given. We spoke of the Doctor’s appointment still in abeyance. And which way to handle it? No conclusions.
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DONET YET AGAIN!
A second delivery of food!
4 carrier bags full.
Many items are repeated with JS.
Talk about self-anger!
Spring water.
Freezer choker!
The fridge is the same.
Hallway.
Top corner.
Cupboards.
Drinks.
Shelves.
I’m so depressed I can’t talk about it.
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Sunset.
Sunset.
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This was not bad, but the chicken was dry.
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Late picture.
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TTFN
Not Up To Much.
On a super shameful downer!

What an ars… a Silly Boy I Be!

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Am I having a different type of seizure?
I need an astrologer, & maybe an auger,
In every seizure, I exist in the ether,
When I come back, there’s no one to cheer,
The reflux is sometimes milder…
The reflux, sometimes, it’s wilder,
Bitter, certainly not ambrosia,
Recovering, recouping, can take much longer,
Occasionally, it seems much quicker…
The brain can recoup, with little bother,
As it did yesterday, my brain recovered…
Another after-effect that I discovered,
For an hour I was a shaking ambisinister,
Drop it, or I can’t let go of something,
Walk into doorframes, leave taps running,
Getting better> There’s no acquiral…
I must be archetypal, or typical…
I know my mind’s only semi-reliable,
Keeping concentration is variable…
90% not, 5% yes, 5% suppositional,
If not theoretical or intellectual,
I had a mini-seizure this very morning,
Came round, and I felt abounding,
For ten seconds… it was amazing,
Clarity of mind was soon aborting,
Later, another for order receiving!
So annoyed, I started the self-hating,
Carer called, then I started computing…
The intercom started buzzing…
Who could it be? A nurse calling?
ANOTHER food order, who can help me?
Not a word from NHS neurology…
Nothing from the Social lady,
What do I need? Ziprasidone or zircon?
Oh, I had my second Ezerimide medication,
Note how my wee-wee did darken?
Another tablet to take with caution,
Still, things could well worsen…
Putin or Trump, neither is a nice person…
Could it start humankind’s destruction?
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Read all of the dangers & instructions.
Before taking your Ezetimide 15mg.
Apart from the fact that I can’t read the minuscule printing,
I went online to copy instructions for these tablets from the NHS site, but nearly ran out of memory in my head and on my computer… Hahaha!
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Up at 04:45hrs. Pouch off. Pots washed. 
Porcelain Throne visit. Constipation Konrad. Morning view shots. The first one wasn’t perfect, so I took another. I hit a low at this moment. The realisation of my walking into town each day, taking photos willy-nilly. The daily walk through the tree copse, the walks into Arnold and the bird & geese feeding, all gone now. Took the last one, and dipped even lower into self-pity. It’s pathetic. I know I can’t get out anymore, and realise the many reasons why. But this morning it hit home. Frustrations are building up, I suppose.
Silly Old Sausage! (That’s not Hostage, Keir!)

Blue moon morning?
Late risers today, not many lights on.
Oh, yes. It’s still early.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been up so early.

I forgot why I took this or what it’s about.

The UK snow here, well, there.

Lovely early nosh.

Why is there not much at this time?
That’s cause I got distracted and was
redoing a lost Word List… well, started one.

Then, I got a call from the Doctor’s practice.
It seems she (the Doctor) wants me to make a visit to the surgery, but no details of for what. Telling me to take a Carer with me. She asked a lot of questions (the receptionist) for an hour or so.
I explained the difficulty I’d have getting there, and on the last trip out, I had a seizure and walked into the road and traffic. Saved, pulled back by my Carer. That was when we went to the dentist.
After what seemed like hours but wasn’t, the kind lady asked me to see if the Carer could call her back. This, after I’d told her there is only one day a week when the Carer gives a 2-hour visit. Doing the laundry, checking the prescription, catheter, hearing aids, knee and leg straps, pouches and Protection Pants need ordering. Also, to do a clearing-up session. WE try to arrange medical appointments for that day, a Wednesday. I said I’d get him to ring her back on his next call. 

When The Carer arrived, the intercom to the flats was not working. He rang me, and I had to get dressed to go down and let him in. I didn’t bother dressing this time, went down in my dressing gown… Oh, Yes! My new slippers arrived earlier. 

When the Carer got up, he telephoned the surgery.
WHAT A FARCE that was!
During the call, he was cut off three times. I’m going to have such a large telephone bill. After much fact-chewing and assessing the situation, she gave him Wednesdays when an appointment could be made. The first one is in twelve days: 29th January. 15:40, 15.50, 16:10 and 16:24hrs. But they will soon be gobbled up. Asked if the Carer could sort it with his manager and ring them back to reschedule and finalise the appointment.
Of course, it’s the weekend now, so we can’t call to arrange anything until Monday.
, and no visitations yet today. Humph!

TTFNski!

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Started a trial of Ezetimibe by the Doctor.
Checked for side effects on the NHS charter,
15 pages of them, I’ve got 10 of them for a starter…
Time for me to become a bequeather?
This all seemed to me to be a lot of bother,
I agreed to the trial; did I make a bloomer?
Changed Virgin Password, done by the Carer,
Tried to use it, to find that it had disappeared,
Virgin, Oligarchs & the NHS I’ve feared…
Putting the NHS in there felt weird…
But they are so busy & underfinanced,
Being admitted is a bit of a misadventure,
I’ll have to get used to this new acculture!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The confusing call from the apothecary,
Weighed on my mind somewhat heavily,
This all changed; a calamity with the laundry!
Carer went to fetch it, returned to tell me…
It was still soaking wet, and he was sorry,
But the dryer was broken, & very sadly, 
He used another one, but he can no longer stay,
So I’ll have to fetch it, unfortunately…
In forty minutes, it should be ready,
With that, to his next call, he had to flee,
With no blame, coming from Inchie,
Concrete proof of my being unlucky!
Had to get dressed, shoes on… feeling dizzy,
All that bending, head spinning, you see,
Set off with Four-wheeled-Walker-Willy,
Down to the laundry room, hastily…
But, taking out the dried laundry,
Losing-Grip-Linda visited me…
Socks, shirts, I dropped so many,
Collecting fallen items went on exacerbatingly,
Bending so often, the head went dizzy…
Back-Pain-Brenda, felt woozy and giddy…
But I got them all in the three-wheeled trolley,
Depression Darius arrived, and I got bitchy,
With the way things were going today,
This Ode was prompted by events yesterday,
To the flat, socks paired, frustratingly…
Colour blindness and Cataract Katie,
Clothes on a hanger, made a mug of tea,
Emptied the catheter of dark coloured pee,
First pain for weeks, from the fractured knee,
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Living with bamboozlement, as a boondoggler,
And frequently, a bit of of a beseecher,
Still hoping that things would get better,
Improve, maybe even to get boshter,
I thought I’d managed well with the Accifaupas…
Not at the time, but maybe later…
But I was not yet out of the wars,
As my mind began to wander…
I had a short, sharp seizure,
Fell, & trapped my arm – I am schadenfreude?
Now I’m feeling even more toeier.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Preparing for today, to go smoothlier,
It’s about time I had a day go easier…
The catheter-valve leaked; Am I a no-hoper!
I’m tested and tried, but remain a trier.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I stirred, again, late & reluctantly.
For some reason, I took a snap of the desktop.
Oh, dear, I thought, is it going to be another of those days, as the resulting photo was well below par.
I took another try at it…
Not good, but an improvement.

A delivery arrived from Ocado.
Judging by the comestibles delivered, it must have been made by me. All my favourites were in there.
Including the beetroot, pickled mushrooms, cheesy-topped bread rolls, and a Milk Roll sliced loaf…
The Polish sausages, ham and even more beetroot. Lemon yoghourts and some Sub-Rolls? 
And two, not one, bags of baking potatoes?
The scary thing is, I do not need these things. The scarier thing is, I cannot remember making the order, but judging by what arrived, I must have. The third thing that annoys and scares me is the promises of help from the Red Cross, Social Services and Neurologist when I was last in hospital. Well, the lack of anyone contacting me was, like, an insult, I think. Then again, did they actually come to the bedside and say they would provide assistance with my problems? Can I be certain? Did it happen? I genuinely think it did. But…
I am aware that sometimes, especially after a seizure, anything could happen; the aftereffect each time is sheer confusion for a while. Yet I do believe that they said these things, just after the Doctor told me I had had a heart failure. But do not remember anything about being taken from the ward to be resuscitated, as they told me I had, and it is out on my NHS record. As far as I  know, I’d just had a seizure and woke up.
Help is not easy to get nowadays. I was so down about things last week, came out-of-it, and have just sunk down into the depths of complete depression & frustration, in equal parts, after writing this bit of the blog. And the realisation that I cannot concentrate on, or solve, any of my worries or stupid, seemingly uncountable or at times unaware of my own actions. It seems like any one day, I can have, or not have, three or four different personalities? Changing so often, as if the brain were stuttering… I see it like a roulette wheel, deciding how I feel next. Without any logical reason identified. Not that I’ve ever played roulette.
Having just read the above passage to spell and grammar-check it, I feel a right whimp… a moaner. I shall try not to moan anymore.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

While the Carer was here, I was talking to him, and a mini-seizure burst forth. He says it was only about a minute long, and I was shaking about with my arms and legs. When I came back, I was almost hanging over the arm of the chair, and had somehow or other, trapped my left arm, cause it hurt. After the Carer departed, I had a look at the arm and took a snap of it, not that it mattered, no one responds when I sent in any photos to the neurologist anyway… Not moaning, just saying! It looks far worse than it was. In fact, now (Thursday night), it’s no bother at all.

The Carer arrived for the longer session. And set about phoning the Hospital Neurology to find the Doctor’s secretary’s email. Blown if I can recall the result, but I do not have the email on the notepad. So I assume he couldn’t get it for some reason. He did his best.

Then the big farce! Virgin Media! 
The Carer arrived and took the laundry down for me. Returned and got the Virgin email opened and showed me what needed doing to change my memorable word, so we could get through to talk to them… or even a robot. That word suits Virgin.
Clever lad, this Carer. Whipped through the stages needed, completing them. It looked easy when someone in the know did it. We went through each Q&A and changed the word. Then he went down to retrieve my laundry, bless him. 
While he was down there, I checked the email to see if Virgin had confirmed the new word. Nope. So, after all that work he did, I still can’t get on my Virgin site!
He made a grand effort for me. Not his fault at all. But I was getting all upset about the failures, not to mention the seizure farce.
The lad returned to tell me the clothes were still soaking wet, and the dryer wasn’t working again. He’d put them in the other dryer and told me to go down to collect them in 40 minutes. As he was at the end of his permitted time, the Carer had to rush off. Thanked him and as he left, Depression Darius really got to me, and an anger, a frustration grew within me at failing again.
I was another person, I swore, cursed, and felt like screaming. Not moaning, just saying how it was. I was moaning then, of course.
Now, I had 40 minutes to get my clothes, shirt, jumper, jacket, and shoes. Then get the three-wheeled walker from the balcony. This took up all of the 40 minutes, and the pain of getting me trews on, Humph!
No socks, of course, that is an impossibility for me to do, a step too far. If I genuflect or bend down, Dizzy Dennis and Lost-Balance-Barbara will take the opportunity to have me over.
I left my cell… no, flat, and took the lift down to the laundry room 12 floors below. No one was in the laundry room, and I started taking out the washing and untangling it. Lost-Grip-Gertrude kicked off. By the time I’d emptied the washer of clothes, nine pieces were on the floor. I wished I’d thought to take a picker-upperer with me now (Too late). Amazingly, although there were a couple of times when the giddiness hit me, I didn’t go down. Then I cleaned the dryer filter, which had not been done in a while.
However, I did take Kodak-Tim-2 down with me. I took some photos to show you of the ground floor foyer, one of the laundry room after I’d left it first.
Laundry Room: the far-right offending drying machine.
Laundry & walker, in the foyer.
The prison’s main foyer doors.
Foyer walls by the seats.

Early Evening Sunset
Frist…
Zoomed in.
Cloud streaks or contrails?

LOVELY JUBBLY!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The more one cherishes…
Sitting in the sun on your terraces,
Starmer will still raise your taxes,
Gather to resist, bring your axes,
He wants a modern-day Axis,
Trump & Keir, the wiseacres…
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
❤ KEEP SAFE – TAKE CARE ❤
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
On my life’s journey from birth to antiquity,
With the end due to come, unresistingly…
Some good, but more bad things I did see,
Many of them were committed by Inchie,
Thus, the memory of each makes me guilty…
There’s too little guilt now in this country,
The increased population means a happy Oligarchy, 
Particularly, of those we voted for Governmentally,
Some MPs tell the truth, but with stuttering difficulty,
Starmer lies with barrister-like geniosity…
Sprays out lies gratuitously, without any difficulty, 
Says his father was a toolmaker, presumably…
Records say he owned a toolmaking factory,
I find him cunning, crafty, and untrustworthy,
I thought Blair brought me a lot of despair,
But Starmer is worse, but let’s try to be fair…
Neither of them could be called an almsgiver,
Both of the nerks were arms sellers,
Blair joined the UN. It was rife with fiddlers,
Keir, a courtroom barrister, rife with fibbers,
Both got to the top in Parliament, with its liars,
Leo Blair, who was Lynton’s Daddy,
Was, believe it or not, a wealthy lawyer,
One up for Keir, he was a wealthy barrister,
Both told Porky-Pies, bank balances got fatter,
Both have acted conceitedly & dishonourably,
Blair played the innocent more accurately,
Starmer waddles around acting superiorly,
Lynton dented the actual Labour policy,
Starmer shredded the remainder quickly, 
Who will be the next Prime Minister?
A lawbreaker, a criminal, a crook, a viveur?
Then nothing will change whatsoever,
Kemi Badenoch (Conservative), not after… 
Surely not after Boris, Liz and Rishi?
LibDems, doing well under Sir Ed Davey…
MPs; now the second largest party,
Carla Denyer & Adrian Ramsay, the Green Party?
Want to end oil/gas licences and subsidies?
Humza Yousaf, & the Scottish National Party?
Independence for Scotland is a priority,
Wales: Rhun Ap Lorweth, Plaid Cymru?
Secure the £4bn owed to Wales from HS2, 
Reform UK? The next true blue?
Jeremy and Zarah launched ‘Your Party’, 
“Justice, peace and international solidarity.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Then there’s the ‘Vote for Inchie’ Party,
Known for passing wind and ampullosity…
All of our members are over eighty.
Some of them are still a little flighty.
We don’t want to join the high& mighty…
90% of us have dementia, but look sprightly,
Forget a lot of things, like going to bed nightly,
But we can share things, fau-passionately,
We want to get noticed, Governmentally!
To meet up with ex-barrister Starmer…
We’ll take a hand grenade, and wear armour!.
“Only death can stop a wronged pensioner”.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I woke up at 04:20hours and decided to get up straight away, and have a darned good scrub up, teeth done, shaving, teggies, and the medicationalisationing done, on the areas I can reach, then get the kettle on… I nodded off again!

06:05hrs, I stirred back into pretend life. Swore at myself a little and was determined to get up this time.
And, nodded off again!

06:50hrs: I was really getting angry with myself, now. No more bull-shit. I’m getting up, and I took off the night bag, then I nodded off again!

07:00hrs: Self-anger is far too mild an expression for how I felt. But still, it was a hard battle to get myself out of bed. But I managed to… giving myself a toe stubbing on the metal wheel-cover at the end of the bed. That did nothing to assuage my self-cursing, hating, and swearing out loud. Not sure if I spat!
An Absolutely Frustrating Sart!

I took two snaps of the early morning view… well, not so early a view. Hehehe! The snow is clearing well. The forecast is for more to come, heavier, late this week. I noted that the same houses as usual had cleared the roofs of snow and ice before anyone else around them. The heat-jump from the attic or loft heaters used to grow Marijuana, mayhaps? Hahaha!

I started the computer, and found one of Tim’s blogs from Albuquerque, New Mexico. He’s a genius at photography and decorates them with such witty comments. He’s out pre-dawn taking such amazing nature shots. He also snaps photos of his cat family, and one photo from this blog warmed my heart. Three of his cats, posing. Has to be one of the most appealing ones this year. I can almost hear what they were thinking. Their ears were up, so maybe Tim was talking to them? They were giving him the ‘Watch-it’ eye?
Great shot, Tim!
Beautiful!

The intercom rang while I was in the wet room. It was the Asda order, with my potatoes for the meal, and Jenny’s instructions on how to cook them. I got the fodder sorted straight away. Taking some photographs of the fodder. Not that I was having any luck on the Porcelain Throne anyway. Rock solid! Even no farting this time.
Some good stuff was delivered today. Veg in vinegar, veg salad with peas. Lacto-free milk, expensive but lovely, I treat myself sometimes. A little pork pie this time. I ate the giant Christmas pork pie in one sitting. Guilt? Me? Yes!

I got a quick ablutipn session in, no use of the Porcelain Throne. Then took two shots from the balcony through the glass. After taking this photograph, I espied some youths at the far end of the car park. I don’t know what they were up to, but yet again I took a poor snap of them, just in case anything was amiss or suspicious .

Then I received the expected telephone call from the NHS Pharmacy… or was it in a Chemist’s? I think the call lasted about an hour of Q&A. Amongst the things I remember being mentioned were my bladder and prostate cancers. Heart failure when I was in the hospital. The neurosurgeon meeting… that one prompted me to interpose, telling him that the video we sent to him, as he asked me to, while I had a seizure, was taken by Carer N. But I did not know the email address to send it to. Caarer E, after much bother, found it, and we sent it. But that was 2 months ago, and we have heard nothing. I took the chance to tell him about having a seizure on the visit to the EENT department to assess my vision and cataract laser procedure. But I don’t know whether the test has finished or if I need to go back to finish it. He assumed they would contact me later. Great. Assumption is the mother of all mistakes!
I mentioned my depression, heard an audible sigh, and he changed the subject to the new medications he wants me to try. Ezetimibe. Suggesting I check on the NHS site if concerned. I accepted the Ezetimibe trial. Here is what the NHS site had to say about the drug…

What is Ezetimibe used for?
Ezetimibe is commonly used for the following conditions. To lower harmful cholesterol levels (LDL-C) in people with high cholesterol levels.
Ezetimibe is not suitable for some people. To make sure it’s safe for you, tell your Doctor if you: have ever had an allergic reaction to Ezetimibe or any other medicine,
have liver problems. Are you pregnant, planning to get pregnant or breastfeeding?
Stomach (abdominal) pain, Diarrhoea, Farting more than usual, and feeling more tired than normal. Muscle pain, tenderness, weakness or cramps. Yellowing of the whites of your eyes or your skin (this may be less obvious on brown or black skin), pale poo and dark pee – this can be a sign of liver problems. Severe stomach pain (just under your ribs) – this can be a sign of pancreatic problems.
Anaphylaxis:
Anaphylaxis is a life-threatening allergic reaction that happens very quickly. It can be caused by food, medicine or insect stings. Call 999 if you think you or someone else is having an anaphylactic reaction.
Symptoms of Anaphylaxis happen very quickly. They usually start within minutes of coming into contact with something you’re allergic to, such as a food, medicine or insect sting.
Symptoms include:
Swelling of your throat and tongue
difficulty breathing or breathing very fast
difficulty swallowing, tightness in your throat or a hoarse voice, wheezing, coughing or noisy breathing.
Feeling tired or confused. Feeling faint, dizzy or fainting. Skin that feels cold to the touch.
Blue, grey or pale skin, lips or tongue – if you have brown or black skin, this may be easier to see on the palms of your hands or soles of your feet.
You may also have a rash anywhere that’s swollen, raised, or itchy.
What to do if you have Anaphylaxis:
Follow these steps if you think you or someone you’re with is having an Anaphylactic reaction: Use an adrenaline auto-injector (such as an EpiPen) if you have one – instructions are included on the side of the injector.
Call 999 for an ambulance and say that you think you’re having an Anaphylactic reaction.
Lie down – you can raise your legs, and if you’re struggling to breathe, raise your shoulders or sit up slowly.
If you have been stung by an insect, try to remove the sting if it’s still in the skin. If your symptoms have not improved after 5 minutes, use a 2nd adrenaline auto-injector.
Do not stand or walk at any time, even if you feel better.
How to use an adrenaline auto-injector:
There are different types of adrenaline auto-injectors, and each one is given differently.
EpiPen instructions (EpiPen website)
Jext instructions (Jext website)
Treatments for Anaphylaxis:
Adrenaline is given by injection or drip into your vein; oxygen and fluids are given by drip into your vein.
You’ll usually stay in the hospital for around 2 to 12 hours, but you may need to stay longer.
Before you leave the hospital, you should be given 2 adrenaline auto-injectors or a prescription for them to keep in case you have another anaphylactic reaction.
An adrenaline auto-injector is a special device for injecting adrenaline yourself. You’ll be told how and when to use it.
You should be shown how to use your adrenaline auto-injector each time you’re prescribed it.
You may also be referred to an allergy specialist for tests and advice.
DON’T: Do not leave your adrenaline auto-injectors anywhere too hot or cold, such as in the fridge or outside in the sun.
TAKING WARARIN & EZETIMIBE:
Yes, you can take Ezetimibe with Warfarin. Still, it requires close monitoring of your INR (International Normalised Ratio) because Ezetimibe can increase Warfarin’s blood-thinning effect, raising the risk of life-threatening bleeding. Studies show Ezetimibe can enhance and stabilise Warfarin’s effect, potentially by interfering with vitamin K absorption, a crucial factor for clotting. Your Doctor needs to monitor INR frequently and may need to adjust your Warfarin dose.
MEDICATION TO AVOID:
If you take Warfarin, do not take any new medicines without first checking with a Doctor or pharmacist. Some medications that can affect Warfarin include: Medicines for heart problems, such as Amiodarone, Quinidine or Propafenone. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) like ibuprofen or aspirin.
CAUTIONS WITH OTHER MEDICINES:
Many medicines and supplements can affect Warfarin. This can make you more likely to bleed.
You might need a blood test to confirm that the other medicine isn’t affecting how your blood clots.
If you take Warfarin, do not take any new medicines without first checking with a Doctor or pharmacist.
MEDICATIONS THAT CAN AFFECT Warfarin:
Medicines for heart problems, such as Amiodarone, Quinidine or Propafenone. Cholesterol-lowering medication, such as Bezafibrate, Gemfibrozil, Clofibrate or Cholestyramine. Antibiotics, such as Erythromycin, co-trimoxazole or Norfloxacin, and Miconazole gel for fungal infections. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) like Ibuprofen or Aspirin, Tramadol, Co-Codamol or any strong painkillers.

–Well, that was as clear as mud!

I finally got to doing the Monday blog update.
Better late than never. It’s better to do something late than to never do it at all. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Don’t judge a book by its cover. An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. And why am I waffling? I’ve gone off the rails. I’ve lost the plot. Took leave of my senses. Gone off the deep end. Become unhinged… Everything normal here then? Haha!

You’ll see the sort of day I had on Wednesday. The blog will be full of moans. But today, the mysteries of Woodthorpe Courts hobgoblins, spectres, gnomai, phantasms, grotesque succubae, ectoplasms, Whoopsiedangleplops, ailments, extraterrestrials,  spirits, Accifauxpas, rent increases, food price hikes, and the Fata Morganas strike again! (And worse on Wednesday) Better rush…

Later on…

Laterer on…

Even laterer on…

TTFNski, Each 🤞🏻
—————————————–

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
My mind developed ecdemomania in December,
Multi-directional, it is something of a derogator,
Often leaving me in a quandary, a dilemma,
It can leave me with mental dyspnea,
It’s no good living in dread, my dear…
This Ode, composed by an aged dégringolader,
To advise & warn each son or daughter…
For things ahead, I hope they digest this data,
And it leaves them savvier, adroiter, & defter,
Relating to when they get older & dodderier,
You’ll at first not notice your brain gets diddlier,
And your deeds & actions increasingly dweebier,
Parts of you, Doctors will surgically dismember,
Neurocognitive disorder, Lewy Body dementia,
Water on the brain, Alzheimer’s, both can be dire,
(In the hospital, I had heart failure last December)
You’ll end up using eyes, ears, & a nose dropper,
Hearing aids, oxygen, or a Mechanical Aorta,
A tissue/biological replacement lasts longer,
More chance of it being rejected, you dejected,
Protanomaly/Protanopia, & Deuteranopia,
You may start feeling drearier and dowdier…Understandably, with new pains, physical,
Then, problems come that are cerebral,
Diagnosis can seem improvisational…
Sort of, make-do, almost extemporal,
It’ll be as if you’re turning into a fossil,
As you struggle to hobble or fogle,
Past your sell-by date, & nonrenewable,
Can’t walk, remember or think, a folderal,
So few teeth, if any, can’t eat a trifle?
Eating crispy bacon? Barely rememberable!
You couldn’t afford it, now you’re pensionable,
Ask for help, you get a load of garble…
Going to the toilet is a risky kerfuffle,
Often you’re too late, it’s most terrible, 
Accifauxpas, forgetting or scatological,
Going into a seizure, having a fall…
Not aware of events, these and them all,
These happen, seemingly unpreventable,
What’s most shameful and deplorable…
It doesn’t happen to anyone Oligarchal!
But, fret not, this is absolutely normal.
If you do owt deplorable, or abominable?
And this sounds a smidge disceptatorial…
You may suffer from all ailments above… All!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I think, well, I know, I was having a seizure in bed, with the strangest dream, that I recall little of; apart from me watching the missiles land, as I (in the dream) stood at the kitchen window, yodelling. Seemingly unconcerned with what I was watching? Then I woke up to find Carer Ejaz standing over me, asking how I was. I recall his helping me get out of bed after he’d taken off the nocturnal catheter bag… then nothing for several or more minutes.
I was sitting on the chair, as Ejaz was medicating the leg wounds and catheter strap welts. He issued the medication and Peptac. I was still out-of-it a while he was asking questions. He wondered if he should call 999. Thanked him, I think, but declined.
I’m having some terrible wakenings lately.
How I didn’t hear the intercom or door chime, I don’t know. Maybe the seizure was a little deeper this time? This morning was the worst I’ve had. However, like all the other mornings, bar one good one, on Sunday or Monday, I think. They started poorly, but things improved as the day went on. They did today, but the improvements took far longer to take over.
It’s now gone 19:00hrs, and the haziness, loss of balance, the mysterious deafness and foggyiness of the brain have all but cleared.
It’s the morning that shows the need for the ambulance. Another like today, and I might press my wristler alarm before the Carer arrives… if I can actually wake and get up, that is. These confusions have never taken longer to clear.

Shame! I lost so much time today that nothing got done much again. 
Carer Ejaz reminded me that the Doctor is making a telephone call tomorrow. I’ll mention these scary mornings I’m having. But I’ve no confidence. The seizure neurologist had not been in touch since November 3rd. Cardiac since October 17th. The Social lady since about June… 2024. 
Ah, well, they are still taking my Warfarin INR blood for testing. Depressed? Me? Haha! Yes!

At least Ejaz got me interested in the snow covering outside and spurred me on to take some photos of it from the frozen kitchen window.
Here they are…

Aha, caught the moon!

No detail, though.

Which house shows its attic
Canabis grow? Hehe!
Not a good one…
A bit better, caught the moon!
See the drug growers’ roof?
Front car park on Citrus Way.
Through the door glass.
Darned cold, -5°c.

Side of bed bin…
Naughty night nibbling?

Tonight.

Must get the new keyboard
sorted, need help.

Going to get something to eat now.
TTFN and
ALL the BEST!