Utopian Space

Women and their influence in my life

I make a daring attempt to remember all the women who have influenced my life positively. This is no order of priority but a free list. About some of them I am sure I may not be able to put in words as to how much they have given  to me or say that I have drawn from them. Mummy – the strong fort of Gibraltar – if I start to write for her then I am sure I will have to dedicate this blog for her. It will be unfair to say as I remember her, ‘coz I had never stopped thinking of her. She is always with me. Her endurance through life, her own journey and escapades has always motivated me. Whenever I get into situations especially medical, I close my eyes and remember her words…you are born perfect, without flaw as you both ( me and my sister )were born out of prayers. It strengthens me to undergo the procedures confidently as I keep connecting with her  and I can feel her tightly  hold my hand.

As most of us, the most influential women in life are my mother and then my sister Neena…well who is she to me….sister, my self mirror,my dictionary,my reference book , my window to the world outside the township we were growing up, my support, my guide, my anchor, my master chef and with whom I have had the most cold wars and most warm conversations too!! Thank you for being the strong woman in my life!

My friends Urmila, Pratibha, Rekha, Bhavna, Jassi, Annie, Indra, Bindu, Tarannum,Anusha, Gita, Manisha, Sumana and other influential ones like Shammi, Usha, Tanu- Viju chechi, Sheela,Munni chechi who have influenced the young mind in the early child hood and teens and left  impressions. Women professionals like Kaushal doctor, Usha Vasu, Verma mam, Mathews mam, Meenskshi Jha and many others. Women whom I met through profession and few of them who are now my besties Lata, Rati, Roshanben,Archana,Ruth,Meera,Akhila,Lizy, Satya,Radha,Anu, ata,Pramila,Sudha,Sheila, Sonia, Smita, Vibhuti, Bharti , Vimla ,Tara, Rakhi, Mukta,Gayatri, Anjali, Sunayana, Chandana, Susan, Rani, Sheeja, Mini among my family folks Beenma, Mercyma, Rubyma, and many others who have put in so much in me the strength of womanhood in their different ways. It is amazing that now looking back  I feel blessed that I walked the path that I did and meet all these wonderful women in my journey. In friendship and womanhood, continents do not matter , April and Michelle are my soul mates who though across the other side of the globe as so much intimate and part of me.

At this point I can not stop to remember the numerous brave women whom I met in the various communities of Baroda, Junagadh, Sidhpur, the villages and urban communities across Rajasthan,Bangalore and Canada.

Each one of them have influenced me enormously in who I am today. They have instilled confidence in me, guided me through my rough times, enabled me to pick up the strewn strings so life in the darkest nights and believed in me more than I did. Its amazing how they all have put a spark of light, hope and life into my life’s journey and made it more meaningful.

In this journey of mine, I also met women in whom I found my mother – Ammachi, Vimla, Amma’s of my friends Ruth, Satya, Susan , April, Michelle who have always blessed and wished well for me.

Blessed and special I feel as I take this moment to express my gratitude to each one of them to have come into my life!

Jerk, Jew, Jesus

In the ninth class of Catechism I just had one student this year who was studying the portions by herself except for the Church History and the Liturgy sections  In her first call on Order of Liturgy, I shared with her some highlight presentation which according to me gives a clear layout out of the chapter. the first line in the first slide is Background – which states that the Origin of the order is from Latin, Syriac and Chaldean practices. To this I asked a fairly simple question to her- what was the place Jesus and all those before him went to worship and were they Christians? She was so perplexed that she might have even forgotten her name. Well I somehow tried to continue the discussion with her , supposedly a studious student, and then call it a day.

Coming home I wanted to check  if these questions were as basic as I thought or not. Ofcourse I try it with Manav and Pranav. They tell me that Jesus went to temple and not church which on probing a bit was termed as synagogue. Now I thought the next question will obviously be easy, so I asked – was Jesus a Christian. The immediate response by Pranav was – no he was not a Christian, but he was a jerk!!!!!

Believe it or not!!! It took me by complete surprise and wanted to burst out laughing which would have offended him a lot. SO I had to gulp it down and tell that ,”well its true that Jesus was a jerk in many sense, but he was a Jew.” to this he had a big Aha recall and said well that’s what he meant!!

Moments which caught attention

Thanks to my friend Meera who insists to write and record all these priceless moments of Pranav and Manav, for posterity!!!

Just a couple of stories with time

Manav- I had shared in one of my previous post that he has not been very fond of writing and well it still continues in UKG. So as Biju and me go to the PTM for the midterm “exam” of is, he grumbles as always that he hates his Asha mam. As it was our turn to meet her, she looks at Manav with a  very meaningful “hey i caught you’ look and calling him with a meaningful tone, “Hey Manav come, come come…”

Well he had not done too bad, but his mam expects him to do better. After his academics she shared with us an incident which occurred few days back. There was a new student Yuvraj to their class who was welcomed and introduced to them by the teacher. Manav responds to this with his eyes down and palms open and spread out, “Well Yuvraj welcome to DMCS,” in a boring, low tone, which according to Asha mam sounded like welcome home you – one more bakra.!!!!

To this background I thought it was appropriate to tell her that he seems to be hating you. She ,though not sounding very surprised asked “Well Manav I thought you love me?” and there retorts Manav,”Mam not only me, but all of us hate you.” This took her aback a bit and asked inquiringly why do you think so,” Well because you make us write.”

My first month at APF

Hi Friends,

I am Thangam George, joined APF , Karnataka SI, as RP with C&E on 10^th Sep,2012 is what I thought, till I read my Welcome poster at the SJP office to know that the SI was referred broadly as FI. Later was  given the LT (laptop),DC( data card), a B(bouquet)and then taken around in circles to meet each one present with a string of names being quizzed at you and to find oneself already in a rote mode of me, myself and what. Later it was brought to one’s attention the need to prove your fitness – by not a small bargain but by giving your B(blood) & U(urine) or in Hindi – apna khoon aur pishaab deney key baad, at the Apollo’s.

Later the 2^nd day, at SI was getting to know one’s Dharmabhoomi….more. Having a very warm welcome with a handful of persons present and the leader, the day was more spent on getting across various documents. Well since that day till now I have been tossing  and juggling with MDPs,ELDFs,ELDP,CDHD,CSLDP coupled with DSERT,DIET,SSA with equal number of BRCs, CRCs, BRPs,CRPs. Then, I attended a series of meetings that whole week which was very beneficial. To know about the Leaders meet of the RRIs and the QIPs presentations in the Innovative Workshop with ATI, and then the narratives of the SLDFs Meanwhile I also learnt about the young DI , Yadgir and its vibrant activities. Then I discovered about the CEP,NS and NS+.I was left wondering the connections between IMF(International Monetary Fund) and education. To defend my ignorance I did not challenge it upfront, adding to still another battle in my head. Though, at no point did anyone make me feel that I don’t get the hang of it Each one would empathize and build my confidence by saying well give time to yourself , you will understand – which I realize is the only way out.

To find one’s sanity in this new world, I grabbed the opportunity to some familiar territory- being part of Ngo Mela. Some gyaan dawned when the Induction was done for one week with still another 20 alike me, making me feel quite good about my cluelessness in this maze. In Peterpan, one comes across Never never land, reaching APU by 8.45 am  was almost similar experience it almost felt like a journey to the Never never land(a place where children never grow up). Knowing about the work APU is into, gave a glimpse into the promising future of children.

Later I attended the DIET lecturers Capacity Building Program. I was completely knocked out by the ELDP series 1,2,3 and to know that there are co devs which  involves the same stalwarts leading these programs. At the DIET training I was confronted by one person asking who I was and stating that he has never seen me in SI so far. I thought to myself the same about him. Hesitatingly I then asked about who all are in SI, though the Peepul tree’ who’s who’ does tell me about it.  Today I hope most of the people of SI are here than the obvious ones whom I already know.

Though till now I reflected on lighter vein, I am once again convinced that man proposes and God disposes. Each event in the course of life is done in His time. Been in the dev sector for so many long years, the conviction to work with government is fulfilled now bringing me to this place to give my best possible effort in this mission. Last, but not the least, hats off to all the members here at SI and all those whom I interacted so far from DI, Foundation and APU. It is like the B (bouquet) given on day one – each one with different colours, vibrancies and fragrance spreading the same for each one. I am happy to be here. I want to conclude my train of thoughts by sharing few lines from Khalil Gibran’s Children

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Khalil Gibran

Money, power and gender

I had gone shopping by myself to Commercial street and usually getting an auto to come back once its past 7pm is a horrendous challenge. So I started walking towards the direction where autos pass by.I heard two women, few years older to me,calling out to a auto driver (the name of the place they asked is close to home), So I was game to share the auto with them. Well they haggled with the driver for Rs.X to the point that they will go and I agreed to pay for the distance furhter. So it was all agreed. We sit in the auto and one of the ladies who looked elderly among them started the calcualtion of Rs.X to be equally divided amongst  3 of us.As they both were getting off at different points, she further wanted to divide the fares accordingly among them. Then I was told that I will have to pay Rs.X/3. I agreed (though I thought it was understood when the journey started).This whole exercise took about 15 minutes. 

But after about five minute the same lady started doing the calculation once again,as she was afraid that it should not be so that I get to pay lesser than them. I don’t know what  prompted her to feel so and she started her calculations all over again, this time with the driver also being involved.This really blew me off. More so because she was talking in Kannada presuming I don’t understand. So I just retorted back almost nastily that if she feels being ripped off paying Rs.X/3,  I would not mind paying Rs.X and they could take this as a free ride.

The response I got from this lady astonished me to the core and I felt hurt within me. She turned towards me and said in a very low and composed and concerned voice,”Well for you it is possible to pay Rs.X or Rs X/3, because you earn. But for me, I have to show an account for each paise that I spend”…(to perhaps her husband or mother-in-law or son..)

A million thoughts rioted my mind that moment-

• about the fact that she analysed that I was a working woman,
• the individual freedom to decide,spend, move around and so on.
• how many women are there like her who account their lives to some one . 
• their share of happiness, sorrow,tears, laughter seems accounted.

How much more privileged I am to have the freedom of thought, desire, expression. How education,  and upbringing can shape personalities, Issues which look frivolous to us is so daunting to others and vice-versa.