Many people have complained to me that I don’t post enough library stuff, as far as the comings and goings of the mentally challenged, as well as the fascinating nature of regular folks that I encounter on my job on an hourly basis.

Here you go…

I worked at the central library yesterday (for OT) and this kid comes in asking about books on hypnosis.  He was about..  10.  Immediately, the other librarian and I ask him if this research is for “good” or “evil” and he swears to us it’s for good.

We look through sirsi, looking for the call number to give him some step by step stuff, but mainly find self hynosis and the history of hypnosis (this is the psychology dept).  He says ok, then disappears for a bit.

About a half hour later, he’s back, and wants assistance looking at the books.  We go up to the 155 section of the balcony and as I’m pulling the books, I ask him why he wants to learn hypnosis again.  And he says..

“Well, picture yourself in a bank…”  and I immediate jump on him and say, “I knew it!  You want this for evil!”

He just smiled and said, “it’s only an example, see, hypnosis is the wave of the future.  Everyone is gonna need it.”

The day was capped off by a gentleman being cut off of his computer time by the auto-shut off of the computer systems with the library closes.  His biggest complaint was that we cut him off mid-transmission, and that he still had communication he needed to establish with Them.

Right.  Mid-transmission.  With Them.

FoxNews finally got around to posting the video of the event. When I was working @ Selby Library in grad school, I did a summer in the children’s department to help out with summer reading. I just played with plastic fish and stickers and treasure boxes.

I would have totally done this. (Sure I would have. Don’t believe me? Well, I suppose we all have a right to an opinion, don’t we?)

So all you children’s librarians out there… let this be an inspiration to you all. Rise up! (What? No, I’m not a children’s librarian. I’m just acting like one for a few months, but I’m also acting like a public librarian…)

i am still recovering from the wonderfulness that was ala midwinter this past weekend. since i was newbie, i didn’t get to actually “attend” any forums, but i got a free exhibit hall pass. at last count, i scored close to over 100 free books from my friday eve and sunday afternoon pillaging. mmm. free books. many this year were teen series, but grabbed a few childrens and comics. i got all nice ans shmoozy with the VP of darkhorse comics, which left me wandering around for a good 5 minutes all dazed. then i found the champagne…

along with a gaggle of new jersey librarians, we hit the librarian dance party on sat eve, handed in our non-fic books for free drinks and proceeded to shake a tail feather. met mr. secondlife himself, talked his ear off about how the graphics don’t render correctly on the MBP and what kind of infrastructure would be needed with the competition from other VR worlds, and then, wham, in walks jay from project runway, surrounded by his merkin (aka “gaggle of butch lesbians that gay men surround themselves with to look more gay). various words were exchanged about someone named “will” and then he skipped off to the after party in south philly. after we finally found where the car was parked (basically in northern liberties), we all vetoed the idea of staying awake any longer. after exhibits on sunday, we found another “best of” falafel places in philly on south street (maoz?) and caught a free advance screening of the spiderwick chronicles. i jumped much. nod.

i will say i L-O-V-E having a library conference in the same town as my residence, as being able to take multiple trips to dump everything in car (then the house) was kick ass.

this week is all about organization. i finished transferring everything to my library-thang and finally bought more memory for my blackberry, ordered tights, bought new sheets, shopped for bookshelves, etc. TheMichael (one of my old roommates from baltimore) comes to visit this weekend, and we’re doing improv on fri night, art museum goodness on sunday, and whatever else in between. shenanigans have been declared. at least until monday morning when he leaves. tuesday is the day i transfer my title over to PA and get PA tags. i’m thinking about the otter tags. or the train?

so, this real patron biatch was complaining today
about the “loudness of the staff”
and that she can’t concentrate
we’re too loud
blah blah
(there’s 2 of us sitting at the desk, talking with quiet voices)
and she’s throwing a royal fit
and i tell her
ma’am, we’re more of an information commons, these days
you might want to find another place to move
and then i look @ the schedule

we’re having freaking victorian carolers coming in @ 2PM
to “stroll” throughout the building.

instant karma is a bitch, lady.

a good thing is my job. i love my job.

i was able to supply a local middle school with 240 some odd books and materials this week, as they haven’t had a library budget or school librarian for 7 years. they called me their “angel.” yeah.

today, my favorite family of 3 sisters came in, bursting with excitement to tell me about their day, from their opportunity of a full scholarship to a high school, to just wanting to give me a hug.

i was surprised when i got that hug. it was a launched at me from side tackle hug from an 8 yr old named yuri and she asked me if i’d had a good day.

yeah, i said, i am now.

It’s no wonder this library is booked solid

The daily stampede through the entrance gate at the Northeast Regional Library and up the stairs to the computer-reservation desk is a wonder to behold. Within 15 minutes of the opening bell, patrons are tapping away at every one of the 30 Internet-connected computers in the adult wing. The early birds get an hour of Web time, then the next shift takes over. Typically, every computer is booked every hour of the day.

“We’re very, very busy” says regional librarian Kathryn Whitacre. And how.

In the past year, 594,843 patrons have gone through the entrance gate at the busy Free Library outpost, just up the block and across the street from the Roosevelt Mall. The librarians did the math, and the average worked out to an astonishing 254 visitors an hour.

The Daily News did some math, too, and the library’s annual attendance should beat the total draw for the Eagles’ eight regular-season games at the Linc this year.

In addition to the free Internet – and as of last month, free WiFi – the big draw at Northeast Regional Library is the children’s department. With 147,516 books borrowed last year (63 books an hour), Whitacre says it ranks as the busiest children’s library in the Free Library system.

The library’s other special strength is in foreign-language materials. You can probably find more Russian pop music here than you could on the black market in the Soviet days. The CDs are on display across the aisle from a collection of English lessons for native speakers of more than a dozen languages, including Russian, Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Portuguese, Hindi, Hebrew and Farsi.

There’s also a well-worn citizenship-prep DVD in Arabic.

As the information hub for the circus-train-of-life in today’s Northeast, the building teems with interesting library subcultures, arriving and departing like flights connecting through Philly International. The morning newspaper readers weave past the Red Cross blood donors, who intermingle with the stamp collecting club and the Toastmasters chapter that book the community conference room.

Classes in English-as-a-second-language that are run by the YMCA meet every weekday except Friday. A literary-fiction book club convenes on Wednesdays, and there’s a regular play-reading group on Mondays. Fans of the local big-band phenom, Bobby Block, come for occasional shows in the auditorium. At least 500 children a month drop in after school for homework help and academic enrichment.

You might ask: How does all of humanity – and its backpacks – fit inside?

The answer: Like generations of Northeast families with a rowhouse and four growing kids, the librarians find a way.

Right now, they’re rearranging the periodicals department to make room for a computer lab. Meanwhile, when Internet demand outstrips supply, they let adult patrons annex the four computer stations in the children’s department during school hours.

To absorb the eager new WiFi crowd, they’re gently reminding laptop users to juice up their machines at home.

“Come with your batteries charged,” Whitacre advises. “We have a limited number of outlets.”*

Northeast Regional Library, 2228 Cottman Ave., 215-685-0522. Hours: 1 to 9 p.m. Monday through Wednesday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday through Saturday and 1 to 5 p.m. Sunday.

– Becky Batcha

Library blogging will commence shortly.

Saturday was par for the course until about 4PM. Went out on the desk around 3, had the regular flow of patrons, etc. The patron I’ve crushed on since I started working here came in, and it’d been about 3 months since i’d seen him. I fluttered a little bit, just that harmless fluttering. It’s a safe crush, the ones that prolly won’t go anywhere, but I always enjoy talking authors and books with him. He recommended this great polish author for me to consume next. I’ll admit, I’m hungry for some good fiction right now.

About 4PM, this patron comes up. He’s kinda loud, kinda sweaty, kinda blowing that breath of unattractive beer at me. He says, “hey, wanna see my lizard?” to me going, “uhm, no, i don’t want to see your lizard.” He then proceeds to tell me about this lizard he has in his pocket, the one he found waiting for him on his bike. Yes, we live in Florida and lizards crawl all over the place down here. As I’m patiently telling him to “please keep his lizard in his pocket” he leans forward and tips down his shirt pocket for me to see that yes in fact, he does have a lizard in there. mr. lizard poke his head out at me, just a tiny thing, then decides he’s had enough of that cotton prison and makes a break for it. This boisterous patron starts laughing as the lizard crawls up his shoulder, and then jumps off the back. All of the other patrons are dying, as I’ve also lost my composure and am cracking up. The guy then drops on all fours to chase the lizard around the lobby, shouting after the lizard that he was “coming to get him.” He manages to trap the lizard near the security gate, shouting “I’ve got him, I’ve.. oh. He lost his tail. Hahahaaha.” and finally appears up at the desk with tail in one hand, lizard in the other (for those who haven’t grown up in florida, it’s a defense mechanism of these lizards to lose their tail, which will grow back). I calmly tell the gentleman to please take the lizard outside before we continue our transaction. When he protested that he’d be fine in his pocket, I said in my best stern-librarian voice, “Sir, I’m sorry, but we do not allow pets in the library.” So, he comes back in, assuring me that the lizard is now waiting for him on his bike, and he starts to ask me if I think his “ladyfriend” would enjoy these videos he’s picked out (Striptease, etc), to which I then respond in full library-impartial mode, “Sir, I am not aquainted with her tastes, therefore I am unable to give you an opinion on the matter.” And he leaves.

Then.

An elderly woman patron appears at the desk, asking me if I’d seen the front page of the herald-tribune today. I started to give her my normal explanation of non-subscription, but then I just say, No. She waves the frontpage infront of me, showing me a neighbor who has decorated his sailboat in twinkle lights, bringing “hope and joy” to the community for the holiday season. I say, “oh, that must be pretty” and then she launches into inquiring as to why the library doesn’t have any christmas lights or tree or decoration. I explain to her that libraries try to remain impartial in the holiday season, as we have many different faiths in the community we serve. Now. here’s a bit of background. Currently around the attrium railing of the library, we have the local AIDS quilt hanging, as we do every year on world AIDS day, Dec 1st. I think it’s a beautiful haunting reminder of how short life can be and how we truly shouldn’t be taking things for granted and with such a careless attitude. This woman. This insisitive bitch DARES to ask me why we would forgo decorating the library to celebrate the birth of “our savior” for hanging this “death rag” for all the world to see.

And now, I’m rendered speechless. I try to think of something to say, anything professional and as i’m grasping for words, she continues on to say how this celebration of a “vaginal disease spread by whores” is inappropriate for children and that we should be remembering what the season is all about. I tried to explain how the disease was not necessarily a sexually transmitted disease, and that some of these children had contracted the disease through no fault of their own. But then she’d moved onto the other side of the desk to rant @ Christy.

She makes me want to forgo celebrating christmas this year.

i’ve watched the pleasure of 3 boys getting their first library cards. i really can’t get over this joy in giving children their first library card. my eyes mist everytime. call me a sentimental sap.

i watched sister check out children’s books and movies for her older sister. they are 60 and 65, respectively. imagine living 65 years with the mental capacity of a 5 yr old. i feel absolutely blessed, that i have a growing mind and that i’m not letting it completely go to waste.

i’ve watched the residentially challenged fight over the reading room chairs, positioning themselves for the duration of our open hours, their hoardes of trash bags and wheeled suitcases migrating from fiction to non-fiction and back to fiction again.

i’ve entertained the complaints of patrons, complaining of the wonderously foul odors coming from the residentially challenged. i agree, today they are most odorous.

i’ve had arguments with older gentlemen, who are refusing to pay the $.75 fine they have for their large print westerns they turned in a few days late. and no sir, we do not take plastic.

i’ve watched in amazement at the amounts of plastic surgery walking through the atrium, young and old. mothers already teaching their children bad fasion. don’t make me tell you twice, girls.

i’ve inhaled alcohol so strong off of some men looking for the IRS that i felt slightly drunk just breathing within 5 feet of them.

i’ve trapped disney characters in my computer and infected those working around me with their merry tunes.

my favorite quote from my bi-polar boss (who favors me at the moment) is: “i just wanna smack those little dungeons and dragons kids.”