Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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Accountability Is For Everyone

My Grandparents & Father

Reflective Thoughts

My Father said to me this year – People who are ill should be able to take accountability for their actions.

What Is Wisdom?

This notion stunned me a man who has chronic lymphocytic leukemia, graft vs. host disease, P53 gene deletion related to chromosome 17, adrenal disease, systemic respiratory damage due to having multiple bouts of pneumonia, diaphragmatic palsy and shingles that caused viral meningitis and lives with chronic pain – who has almost died more times than I can count came to me with this sage and reflective wisdom.

He still has a growth mindset in which he sees himself personally responsible for his actions, conduct, behavior towards himself and others.

Connected Realties

Regardless of his poor health, he doesn’t want superficial adornment nor any false praise for how he handles his situation.Being properly listened to and appropriately cared for will suffice.

Challenging The Narrative Of Empathy

It made me think is he right? Am I lacking something in terms of understanding? The answer slowly became yes. It was a rebellion and a revelation in emotional dexterity that I am forever grateful.

Then through further explanation the reasoning was that people’s conduct/behavior and personhood can still be up for being challenged regardless.

My Father came from a domestically abusive household, he was socially, emotionally and was physically neglected from infancy onwards, with no opportunities for healthy boundaries – there was however no accountability for his parents actions, no remorse nor self-reflection. He made a choice after I was born to work on himself and understand his childhood but not identify with his caregivers, the enviroment they created and thus repeat the pattern onto me.

My Father learned Living with narcissistic parents one who was borderline and the other who was potentially schizoid that he needed to make the change for himself and for mine and my Mother’s domestic, social-emotional and financial wellbeing.

Accountability is a strength not a weakness, it offers far more answers than it leaves questions. If we could just leave are egos at the door, I think the potential for healthy acknowledgment and resolve are at least given a stronger foundation.

Empathy for someone’s situation can co-exist with holding court someone’s actions, attitudes and the way they conduct themselves around people. co-dependency isn’t love, enmeshment isn’t true connection. It’s imperative we see these as two separate entities that are together.

Accepting When You Need To Move On

If you need to disconnect from someone then it is fine to do so, you can wish them well, wish them love, stability and care.

This put my mind at ease because difficult decisions will come our way in life and we must look very carefully at how others treat us (as people). Know when you need to leave.

Conclusion

I think of my late Grandparents, their time on earth what they taught me through life’s examples.

We ultimately cherish people for they know who we really are, not a facsimile of what we pretend to be or what has been created by others.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Clambering Onto Victimhood? Or Coming To Terms With The Now?

Note – This is from a personal perspective

Identity Beyond Tropes

Just because I was diagnosed with autism, it doesn’t mean I need to to adhere to identity politics, (“autism” is not my identity I am a human being first), needlessly follow the trends of autism community (that is forever changing), that I don’t inherently feel sorry for myself, make victimhood as a part of identity & have strived to to have and live a socially binding life.

Past, Accountability & Empathy

If I was to wallow in the echoes of the past, project onto individuals who weren’t even there, then that would be my failure to realise other people have lives too – and a harsh truth  life is challenging and it’s one’s ability to not only acknowledge this but accept it.

We aren’t put on this earth to be universally understood, if we are to make one friend first let’s start with ourselves – you are living in a flesh cage let’s at the very least make it habitalble.

Accountability and empathy are two sides of the same coin, If you want validation of your own misgivings don’t fling shit onto other people and expect a cream cake in response. One can listen and be there but not be a doormat as one can seek support but not be smothered and have their autonomy taken away.

Objective Reasoning Of My Own Life ?

I have documented my challenges from a social environmental standpoint and from an “AUT-istic”standpoint and yes the challenges that come from my own information processing issues & personal misunderstandings.

Conclusion

However, note how I internalised those challenges, made sense of those challenges and come to the simple conclusion – we are all human, one’s life is short and we must not seek to see the past as a caged prison nor the future as an empty hopeless void – see strength not in living (as an artificial construction) but the act of living and being. Experience it’s beauty not as an observer but from within.

It’s not about who is the most popular it’s about who is willing to be real, objective, pragmatic and that their words matches their actions.

Healthy Autistic Identity by Donna Williams  

You are a person, not a disability
You are a person, not a label
You are a person, not a project,
You are a person, not an investment
You are a person, not an archetype
An apple is not a broken orange
Build real self worth, not self inflation
Don’t over invest in one size fits all ‘normality’

Navigating friendship & relationships by Donna Williams

● Don’t hide your disabilities (especially from yourself)
● ‘Mistakes’ are essential
● Value humility
● Know condition from self & know to advocate
● Ask for help

Boundaries by Donna Williams

● Don’t over do being ‘a pleaser’
● Don’t play the victim
● Advocate but don’t play on your disabilities
● Don’t carry other people’s baggage
● Expect and insist on respect, dignity, equality
● Be willing to walk away
● Be willing to ‘cut your losses’
● Speak up, speak out
● Do the ‘math’

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Autism – The Challenges of Being Mono-tracked & Not “Getting” The Shared Sense Of Social

“I learned to act as though I had a sense of ‘us’ and ‘we’ even if my systems integration problems made it very difficult to consistently process internal ‘self’ and external ‘other’ at the same time; an experience that is essential to grasping what ‘social’ is, and how to be it and why you might want to be.”

Donna Williams

The Shared Sense Of Social – Developmental Trajectories

Polly expanded on this as the shared sense of social the ability in which non- autistic children as young as 5 years old start to use and interact with people in a multi-systemic way.

To various degrees people on the autism spectrum struggle with the shared sense of social for some it will be lifelong, for others it’s expression may change.

This inability to shift between awareness of self and other – leading to individuals potentially in state (to varying degrees) be mono-tracked.

Personal Experiences – Trying To Make Connections

My personal experience of this as an infant was firstly living in the system of sensing far longer because of developmental derailment and altered trajectory.

If I was 80 percent meaning blind, object blind and meaning blind that rendered my visual perception void in which not much Interpretive meaning was filtered through, faceblindness an extension of this.

Imagine seeing things in bits, fragmented, distorted and independent of each other with no sense of depth, clarity or confirmation of “what”.

Then I was about 80 percent meaning deaf this meant that people’s language was distorted phonics that were as scrambled as my visual systems, secondary to residual oral apraxia my “language” wasn’t functional – so the TV and videos along with other sounds, echolalia, echopraxia and echomimia was not only extended but a small lexicon bridge in which I was attempting to express myself.

I was disconnected from my body as a physical vessel that I moved around in, pain for many years was also redundant – so getting meaningful feedback from both the internal and external was extremely challenging for me. This meant that putting on clothes and many aspects of personal care were either “forgotten” or executed in a fashion that caused more harm.

Retaining The System Of Sensing

The trade off to these challenges was living in the system of sensing – these alterations in sensory perception and language processing meant my nervous system was still in a “baby” state for far longer.

So, what was it like to “live” there? Merging with objects was happening on an almost daily basis it could be colours, textures, certain lights but most notable was my fascination was flowing water, smearing shaving foam and bubble bath up the tiles etc.

The merging with people, their complex energies and frequencies bypassed many of the multi-layered social perceptual challenges I had (because they didn’t come from the right hemisphere neglect & left hemisphere brain dominance but from the occipital lobes) this meant I was emotionally attuned to people but didn’t always know where to put their “stuff”.

So logic and literalism weren’t running the show, however this didn’t mean I was lacking in intelligence at least in the traditional expression of whatever that means. You can see why self and other weren’t on the table either as it wasn’t until 27 that I got my first experience of it.

How Tinted Lenses Aid My Information Processing & Social Tracking

This was aided by the use of tinted lenses in which my visual perceptual system was now more coherent, comprehensive and filters more succinctly, freeing up my language processing to be able to have the “shared sense of social” for much longer.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Autism, Suicide, Suicidal Ideation & Owning Your Past – A Personal Perspective

Yesterday I spoke for A2ndvoice CIC about autism, mental health and experiences of suicide and suicidal ideation.

Trigger Warning ⚠️

Three Decades of Abuse – The Community, Education & Employment

I have calculated that it has been over 30 years of bullying in my lifetime which is included within the community from teenagers and adults, mostly this was verbal retorts, swearing, manipulative, gaslighting and physical harm pushing and punching.

Notable incidents included being locked in a makeshift cage for over two hours with a friend (this was made of chicken wire), alienation within the community from adults, verbal attacks on my family and intimidation with a make-shift weapon of nails being thrusted in my face, being threatened with a knife to words of “I will cut your head off and shit down your throat”.

In the final year of primary education I was bullied by a teacher that was notable in its persistence and brevity. I was referred to CAMHS in 1996 for group therapy with other children my age learning social skills and acts of assertive communication through acts  role play. I had infantile depression.

In the first two weeks of secondary education I was bullied this included verbal retorts, swearing, manipulation, gaslighting and inappropriate behaviour by both my science and physical education teacher – letting my peer group know I was “always crying in reception”.

The physical education teacher gave me a nickname, a bastardisation of my surname “Izo”, something that I didn’t ask for and became a short hand for the rest of my tenure at school. Very rarely was I referred to as “Paul”, my voice was often mocked people would often echo it back in a slow, slurred and monotone drone.

Ironically there was an autism base on both campuses of the secondary school in ay I befriended and connected with many of the students there.

Sexual Abuse & PTSD

In 2021 through to 2023 I had therapy for PTSD because I was sexually abused at secondary school (sodomised), I have glimpses of the event but because of visual agnosias, internal mentalising challenges and faceblindness the perpetrator’s identity is not in my mind,  however the act and events are.

Being born premature meant delays in sexual maturity and development this act furthermore derailed this by confusing my sexuality and gender for many years to come, along with the guilt of having a sexuality, sexual arousal and masturbation.

I feared men, their proximity, their touch and conversation regardless of how noble, genuine or transparent the individuals intent was.

My First Employment Experiences, Mental Health Diagnosis’ & Beyond
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My first place of employment was from 2002 to 2007 in which similar bullying patterns started to play out initially it was with younger members of staff (one individual one made a habit of ignoring me, supervisors would regularly make me load the trollies noting I had coordination challenges) but then as I was more established by older members of staff, this included much of the same in my tenure in education. I was told by an ex employee that people thought I was “strange, weird and retarded.”

In 2007 I attempted suicide through hanging in my bedroom, prior to this I was self harming at work and later at home cutting my forearms and later my hairline, I left a note which was an apology to my parents that I couldn’t carry on, something clicked and after the attempt I slept with the light on that evening.

Through the adult mental health team I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, psychosis and auditory hallucinations, along with a misdiagnosis of “asperger traits with a complex personality”.

Autism Diagnosis, Visual Perception Diagnosis & Learning Difficulties

I was diagnosed with autism in 2010 and visual perceptual disorders, scotopic sensitivity syndrome, dyslexia and dyscalculia in 2012.

Forgiveness & Accountability

I have come to a point in my life where I hold no bitterness to the often acidic actions put upon me, I empathise that the individuals in question may have had developmental and or mental health challenges that meant projection and poor choices were made.

This isn’t advocating their acts as something which is right, however it does objectively give some sort of foundational context to what could have been its relative underpinnings.

I wish these individuals well in their future ventures (many of the ex students are married and have children), the notion of true  forgiveness came for me  because I realised that I am accountable for my behaviour & actions just as anybody else is, surely a healthy model of how to navigate the world would suggest that one should promote accountability &  autonomy as opposed to enmeshment or co-dependency?

These acts do not give me the right to intentionally hurt others, manipulate others or use my past as a non – accountability clause, it disrespects one’s past experiences and it means no one can be honest or authentic with me.

My Father’s Sage Views on Accountability & Empathy

My Father had an insightful observations on being accountable, noting that he has chronic lymphocytic leukemia and has almost died more times than I can count that even people with chronic or life limiting illnesses can be accountable, my natural knee jerk reaction was that it  would be too uncaring or lacking in empathy.

He corrected staying that one’s behaviour and actions need to be noted and if one is going to be treated as a person you can both acknowledge their situation and be objective, that isn’t an intrinsic lack of care or empathy but quite the opposite.

Taking responsibility for my actions after the fact (and having support doing so) with a true lifeline.

What is it to Be Human?

People may wonder why I am neither proud nor ashamed of being “autistic”? This may answer your question if you have been treated less than human for the length I had, labels however well meaning become redundant, identities become passe because the one thing I value is being seen as a human first.

If I told a flower what type of flower it is, however informative, it would still have to carry on “being” a flower regardless.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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The Notion of Friendship



This week my parents have been talking to me about not only the notion of friendship but what it means to be a friend.

I myself reflect on a lot of areas in my life from childhood development, autobiographical accounts, information processing, personality types and its various sensitives – this can be from an informal perspective or from a professional one.

Information Processing, Mental Health & Accountability

I am pragmatic about people being honest with me and transparent and if they can take my expression of EA (Exposure Anxiety) as not a flaw in my personality or personhood that can dictate how I respond/or don’t.

I can take accountability for genuine mistakes within reason as I see failure as a “normal” human experience that quantifies an objective amount of self-reflection as the need for change can be pointed out by others as much as personal exploration.

I understand if my information processing challenges can be seen as difficulties that others quite rightfully not want a part of or my residual mood, compulsive and anxiety disorders can tire and be perceived as annoyances. I do not feel a need to be or act entitled – because many aspects of my life are my responsibility, I do not sit back in a victim mentality nor I feel the need exaggerate my accomplishments or flaws more than what in reality actually is.

Needing Help With ” Interpretive” World, Personality Sensitives & Beyond

Observationally It has come to parents attention that I am at times emotionally used for lengthy periods, I always  message/contact people first and being the initiator, people only ask about me or my personal life unless prompted and are eager to tell me about their own with little or no interest in mine.

This to me is an observational revelation on many different levels because I just go “through” the motions. I think about “other” a lot however is that healthy mode to always be in? All the time?

What could be going on here? I fit the self-sacrificing personality type in which I give without much if any expectations from the latter, being solitary & idiosyncratic means that although it takes time for people to get to know me to get that sense of deep connection which  means I will be thinking about you when you aren’t physically in each others presence (what you are doing today? How are you coping? If there are any challenges in your current life? How is work?).

I don’t think these traits are in essence “bad” but it is the extremes of situations that amplify them.

Being “nice” is not an act or a performative box ticking exercise for me nor is an arbitrary task which must be fulfilled for the connection to remain, but still my parents persisted in making me reflect that those very attributes have been abused in some form or another.

Realities Are Important Including My Own?

They pointed out that given my personal situation with my Father’s cancer (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) being back or my Mother’s struggling with recovering from a life threatening blood clot – are  people aware about your emotional reality and the stresses these come with it? They had to point out to me last year that people came to the friendship group to see me (that again was a revelation).

Accountability Is Broad & Authentic Connection

Notwithstanding that accountability can be made with such challenges as my Father pointed out that he is still eligible for that regardless. This of course includes myself in that concept  He also pointed out this isn’t an intrinsic lack of empathy or care.

We as human beings have different ideas of friendship –  trust, boundaries and authenticity nurture this and are no doubt a good foundation to start from.

What I got from this conversation is that genuine connection despite its challenge will persist if that  “real connection” has been made regardless of length of time knowing each other, the length of conversations, shared interests and levels of mutual respect.

Coming Through The Loveless Fog – My Father’s Early Upbringing

I would also like to expand on points about my Father’s upbringing – he came in an emotionally void environment.

His Mother was both physically and emotionally absent despite being his primary caregiver, she didn’t have the tools to nurture him on an emotionally intimate level.

She would bring men to her flat and have sex in front of him when he was an infant, he would be alone for long periods of time with only the clattering of footsteps and a small TV to keep him company (they lived in London, in one of the three tier houses which they resided on the bottom floor).

He was a victim of pedophilia (two adult women) when he was but a toddler, his Mother was notorious for drinking parties often with fair weathered friends she wasn’t looking out for him, for he wasn’t a priority.

Both his parents showed an absence of care with even the fundamental basics of parenting with his Father leaving his life for good in 1990 his final words to my Father were “I never loved you anyway.”

His Mother never took accountability even up until her passing in 1998 of Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, he stayed with her, comforting her despite serious unresolved issues.
The main issue is that he was never shown love in a selfish and cold family home.


My Father I am deeply proud of more than words can express, he came through a completely loveless childhood, worked on his mental health challenges, his reactive attachment disorder, his PTSD and addictions to not only find love but share it with his wife and child.
He chose to not identify or be moulded by his shortcomings but work upon them.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Autistic “Masking” & “Camouflage” – A Three Dimensional Approach

Note this is from a personal and professional perspective

Looking At The Roots

Joining the dots can be a difficult task in which we must look beyond ourselves to see what has  created something that has been within the autism community for sometime, this is my take on what could be going on.

Attachment Disorders Could Present As “Masking”

  • Avoidant – Struggles being with others, emotional withdrawal and seeks independence.
  • Anxious – Struggles with being alone, needs validation and seeks dependant from their partner/friend.
  • Disorganised – Mixture of the two

Personality Types/Disordered Extremes & How That Could Present As “Masking“

  • Solitary/Schizoid – Could present as masking because being asocial, not needing to open up and/be or have many intimate relationships/friendships.
  • Paranoid/Vigilant – Could present as masking because of being highly suspicious and/wary of people and their motivations.
  • Mercurial/Borderline – Could present as masking because of poor identity and thus struggles to connect with a firm sense of “self”.
  • Sensitive/Avoidant – Could present as masking because of persistent feelings of being “on show”, embarrassment & people – pleasing.
  • Devoted/Dependant – Could present as masking because their identity is through other people and may persistently fear independence.

Information Processing Challenges That Could Present As “Masking”

  • Apraxia – Could present as masking because of the disconnection of bodily control.
  • Alexithymia – Could present as masking because of the inability to make emotional connections in real-time.
  • Language Processing Challenges – Could present as masking because varying degrees of having functional speech/word finding/sentence construction that connects with a individuals inner motivations.
  • Sensory Perceptual Challenges – Could present as masking because of sensory bombardment ranging from being manic/euphoria distractions (the system of sensing in which one merges with objects in environment), to emotional dysregulated responses that can causes trauma.
  • Inability To Do “Self & Other” – Could present as masking because the person is mono-tracked and cannot readily switch in conversations.

Mental Health Conditions & Other Aspects To Consider As “Masking“

One could also look at conditions like exposure anxiety in which the person can’t do as self, be certain character or go into litanies when feeling exposed, dissociative disorders in which the person is detached from “core self”, anxiety disorders that are so acute in presentation that they take over many aspects of a person’s life.

Conclusion

It is clear to me there needs to be more specific explanations of what it means for someone to mask, how it presents at what are it’s origin points for the individuals in question.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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What Is It To Be 39?



(Note this was on the 7th May)

Tender hearts tread on the meandering rumblings of time that has passed amongst the soul scape and basked upon its beauty and ugliness with my adorned eyestalks.

I am 39 this morning, it is the day of joyous uped promises, of saddened times in which people of significance are memories in my mind.

I have learned that for every wrinkle and hair that is smattered from copper to grey that to be thankful of the sanctuary of my remoteness, little built bridges of connection with people of importance most cherished & loved.

Betterment is futile if smugness makes you ignorant to your own accountability, live with your strengths but don’t be over properly prideful & note your weaknesses but don’t wallow.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Is Neurodiversity Being Watered Down?

It is Neurodiversity Week and I have advocated in the field of autism for over a decade and new words have been used such as neuro-affirming, neuro-type, neuro-spicy, neurodivergence and neurodivergent and and so forth, however with the question preceding has it been watered down?

Lost In Translation?

To answer this I have not been a fan of words above as they create more questions than answers, they may well open dialogues and that in itself is harmless but how many more divisions and do we need?

Holistically, I am for pragmatism, sign posting, about being real, being objective, looking deep and trying getting to the guts and underbelly of what is going on.

These adjectives seem to not only be referencing labels but also identities, by all means see yourself with the latter but is that explaining all of your reality, your relationship to the world? And with yourself?

Autism stripped of all the above is an adjective and a describing word of an experience, it isn’t generic, static, it’s fluid, multi-faceted and individual, it’s a condition made up of conditions and these can vary from person to person both in types, presentation and frequency.

Looking at Conditions That Present “Autistically”

So, for example the conditions on their own aren’t autism – faceblindness, social emotional agnosia, dyspraxia etc but if that is a part of someone’s profile then it should be recognised as such. If individuals have significant dietary requirements, autoimmune challenges, vitamin malabsorption and significant impacts on health systems then advocating for former and latter would at the very most (not least) be a helpful start.

Three Dimensional Approaches & Looking at The Bigger Picture

I cannot speak for all my “autistic reality” is my own and I can healthily separate my information processing challenges, my mental health challenges – which includes significant mood, anxiety, compulsive disorders, personality disorders, my personhood and that to me is socially binding.

I am not looking for fame or gratification nor do I see my activities as special – walking, enjoying nature, the birds singing, writing or drawing these are human preferences and appreciations.

When Politics Become Bigger Than People’s Realities?

I am neither a culturist nor a curist in the autism world, it has been both a blessing and an annoyance, I simply cannot be a part of extremes but I can empathise and understand through observation the frustration of both camps, the solution isn’t simple (nor should it be).

Acknowledge that if realities are being missed out for whatever reason then there is something wrong with that picture and for all the new words being created, share and however well meaning they are let’s give a platform for other realities.

Paul Isaacs 2025


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Is Everything About “Autistic People” Their “Autism”

The Non-Linear “Autism Fruit Salads”

Would be fair to say that by just defining autism in a non objective way you exclude rather than include other people’s experiences? Their own realities? If the challenges are objectively real then let’s talk about them, include them and empower the individuals in question.

In short no it isn’t what some people may recognise as “quirks”, “differences” and so forth there may well be residual information processing challenges and personalities types that present in an “autistic way”.

However, not all people’s autism is straightforward in the first place and neurological challenges of seizures, autoimmune dysfunction, dietary disabilities, tissue connectivity and so forth which just as much of potential realities as the latter.

This would suggest that people’s environment & personalities temper an individual like anybody else, so if autism is not one generic condition then this would also suggest the rationale that if people in general are made up so many things that cannot exclusively be defined by one word then what if we started to acknowledge that in the context of autism?

Different Expressions Of Human

When it comes to the word “neurotypical” this again is passe, reducing a person to one word (and this one can be weaponised) creates an unhelpful narrative which suggests that people who are non-autistic are carbon copies of one another.

I have met non-autistic individuals who have been faceblind, another with dyslexia, another with ADHD one could argue of this “typical” neurology?

Reflection Beyond Identity Politics

To it simply “autism” is not everything about me, I am neither proud nor ashamed, I have made use of the cards given to me and there are other parts of my existence that deserve as much care and notice as my “autism”, my personality types and the traits and characteristics that go with it, my styles if attachment what other people, my interests and so forth.

I am as human beings are a three dimensional individual.

Paul Isaacs 2025

How Dare “An Autistic Be “Just A Human Being” Blog by Donna Williams

Donna Williams in Infancy

The ‘awetism’ trend to portray all things ‘autistic’ as all ‘awesome’ silences all for whom parts of their autism comes from the impact of FASD, the daily presence of untreated absence or nocturnal seizures, from the viral impacts of impaired immune function or unaddressed food intolerances and food allergies or infant stroke or hemiplegia that nobody dx’d (most of which will not appear on MRI), genetic collagen disorders or neuronal migration disorders that impacted connectivity in the brain etc etc…. and maybe you might think these health issues are not ‘really autism’ but try not looking or developing in a recognisably ‘autistic’ way with a collection of this stuff on board and you’ll soon see that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then it is for all intents and purposes a duck…

And this doesn’t mean all people with autism have an array of health related neuro stuff… they don’t. Nor does it mean those with autism don’t have fabulous and awesome things about themselves… they almost always do.

But some of those ‘awesome’ things will be products of their adaptations, sometimes products of their neurological differences, but sometimes just products of their identifications, experiences, opportunities and character.

Domna Williams 2016


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Autism & Identity – Is It Helpful? & Is It Helping?

Note – This is from a personal and professional perspective of autism politics, identity and ideas on ways forward

Personal Perceptions on Diagnosis, Trajectory & Birthing Factors

When I was diagnosed in 2010 it gave an explanation of interconnected and identified conditions that happen to be “autistic” because of the stacking of them and the presentation.

So what are they? Well let’s start from the beginning I was born a month premature (this is linked to neurological underdevelopment, speech, language and motor coordination delays), brain injury due to placental abruption (cerebral hypoxia which probably caused a variety of agnosias and sensory perceptual challenges – simultagnosia, form agnosia, semantic agnosia, aphasia and hemiplegia), caesarean section (oxytocin depletion, sensory perception, autoimmune and hormonal imbalances).

Personhood, Humanity & Self Acceptance

So what I am challenging here? That there is not “one road to rome” in terms of presentation or trajectory because it’s multifaceted, layered, nuanced and three dimensional. Relating to someone is more than simply sharing experiences, it’s about meaningful connections.

The next aspect is “identity” all above are not an issue of identity nor a choice it happened. All mitigating factors were out of my control. My issue here how this word is used currently.

My personhood regardless is what I value first – that I want to be seen as a human being, with wants, needs and preferences. I see myself as part of the human race.

Autism, Personality Types & “Autistic Personalities”

Being solitary, mercurial, idiosyncratic, self – sacrificing and serious in terms of personality types, temperament and preferences isn’t “autism” (although being solitary/idiosyncratic/conscientious/sensitive may appear more “autistic” but the guts aren’t).

Having OCD, exposure anxiety and dissociation isn’t autism, having been diagnosed with personality disorders, psychosis and auditory hallucinations (due to a nervous breakdown in 2007) isn’t autism and having PTSD (due to sexual abuse) isn’t autism.

The Lense Of Acknowledgment Not Self – Pity

I would also like to point out that none of these things make me feel like a victim or proclaim victimhood, objectively these mental health conditions are from genetics and impacted and amplified by certain life experiences, but in the end it is my responsibility to take accountability for them.

I would say for newcomers it’s completely understandable how these things look interchangeable, however what I have noticed is people sharing information that is inaccurate then creates a ripple effect.

Autism Politics – Does It Temper Public & Internal Perceptions?

This is why I don’t like that autism politics is not about making change, it’s about in-fighting, narcissistic supply and being the next person on the trend band wagon.

Let’s be real, be objective, look at people’s own reality and value a person’s sense of being and humanity – Militancy from the culturist and curist modalities aren’t helpful they reduce autism to its respective parts through the lens of the extreme.

This is why I am moderate I like and see people, appreciate healthy debate and disagreement and look at the challenges as they are rather than what they are not.

Acknowledging that group think and confirmation bias exists in this axis is something for newcomers to be aware of.

Political Correctness In 3 Different Autism Worlds – By Donna Williams.

Looking At Objectivity & Realism

However, these experiences have tempered my presentation over the years. This is of course my reality not a representation of everyone’s because it’s an impossible task to undertake and unattainable. People may need to think of “autisms” in the plural.

That is why I feel like defining your whole “being” by one word is reductive, collectivist and naive, autism is something neither to be demonised, nor glamorised, so healthy discourse would suggest that we meet people were they are, be person-centered and see autism as the late Donna Williams’ (Polly Samuel) would a describe it as a “fruit salad”.

Paul Isaacs 2024