Last night I went out for coffee with 2 girlfriends. The woman picking us up asked if we wanted to do coffee or dinner. Being diabetic it’s hard eating out so I find coffee easier. Truthfully, I almost didn’t go because it’s dark and it was supposed to snow a lot.

Starbucks is the only place that is still open after 6. It’s quiet because there weren’t a lot of people there. After we ordered I put the gift bags on the table for my friends. Although we didn’t actually plan it we all bought gifts for each other. I absolutely love that we were so in sync with what to get. My friend loves Jack and Sally from The Nightmare before Christmas so she got a Sally Funko Pop. I bought my friend a mouse in a cloche sitting in a chair knitting. She crochets but it reminded me of her.

Of course I got mice ornaments. There is something so special about friends that truly know me.

When we get together I always take pictures. I had to take a picture of my friend with their gift and then we got a picture with the three of us. I need a haircut but it’s ok. It’s capturing a moment. There are days when I’m feeling sad and I will go back and look at those photos and I’m reminded of the people that are there for me.

Do you stay up to toast in the New Year No. I did it once when the year was turning from 1999 to 2000 but I didn’t really get what the big deal was. We watched the countdown on tv and I thought I could do that at home. I do watch Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen on CNN because I love Anderson’s giggle. I also live close to a park that lets off fire works so I can hear them if I’m awake.

Have you ever kept any New Year Resolutions made in the past? Yes. In 2015 I made a resolution that I was going to write a blog post every day and I did. It was a big accomplishment considering I was taking care of my Mom at the time. Last year I started the year planning to watch my spending but it was such a horrible year that I did a lot of retail therapy.

Do you have any plans for 2026? It’s interesting that this is the question for today. Last night I was thinking about the fact that this year it will be 20 years since Janet died. I emailed my friend and said I don’t know how I feel about heading into this year.

What was the highlight of 2025 I’m just glad it’s over! Too much sadness.

Last night this picture was shared by a store that I follow in their stories. I shared it on Facebook and wrote that it may seem silly to cry over a photo of cookies/squares but this is exactly what my Mom’s cookie plate would look like at Christmas. We always had Nanaimo bars (store bought) and often had the peanut butter squares. I wasn’t a fan of them but they are easy to make and they set up well.

I sent a text to my friend that Mom sent me a sign. She texted back asking what it was. This morning she sent me a text that she was baking yesterday. She also mentioned that she was dusting and picked up our picture that I framed for her from a lunch that was exactly 11 years ago yesterday. I remember I found a frame that said FRIENDS at Carleton Cards.

Yesterday I was having a hard time really missing my family and when I got those reminders it made me feel loved. I don’t know why Christmas feels heavier this year. Perhaps because friends also lost parents. There is so much hate in the world. That is why those signs are so special. Love is powerful.

I recently told my grocery lady when she asked how I was that I’ve been up and down. I can’t really explain it. Wishing that there were more get togethers with friends but recognizing that I need to give them space in their grief.

I follow a woman on Instagram who is sending out what she calls COZY MAIL CLUB. There was a small fee for postage. I told her who doesn’t love getting snail mail. It’s such a little thing but it brightens someone’s day.

I happened upon an account of a young man whose sisters send him boxes with gifts for advent. The twist is that they give him names (obviously starting with A) and an address or workplace and he has to go and hunt someone down with that name. I’ve started following him just to watch the interactions. It’s so sweet. They are not allowed to open them until Christmas. I do realize that his sisters must have enough money to afford to do it but they certainly aren’t large gifts.

Giving gifts is my love language. I love seeing the smile on someone’s face when I find the perfect gift. Janet was good at it too. I guess that’s why I like seeing it on social media. Being able to spread some joy is a good thing.

This morning the Facebook page Meanwhile in London posted a photo of Victoria Park at Christmas and asked is it still magical or overrated? I commented that my Mom used to drive around the park after the Christmas Eve service at our church. I used to go for walks and end up at Williams Coffee Pub for hot chocolate after. I wrote it’s still magical, just different. I bought this mouse because it reminded me of that time.

When I wrote that it made me think about how it’s a good description of what the season is like after losing loved ones. The traditions change and it feels different but that magic is still there if we look for it.

When I was talking to my friend recently I told her that I no longer hear my Dad in my head. I don’t know why but he seemed to have an aversion to Christmas and the only decorations we had were a wreath on the front door and our tree. Now I decorate my chaise, my dining room table and I even have a Santa mouse in the bathroom. When I got off the phone I realized that’s growth. Realizing money can be spent on things that bring me joy. That I can’t have too many ornaments.

I think my family would be happy that I still put their names on the tree. The one constant through the years.

I follow a woman on Instagram who has started posting Amazon gift guides in her stories. At the same time a plus size consignment store I buy from shared a post about supporting local businesses this time of year. Ever since covid I have been a strong supporter of shopping local. I bought Christmas ornaments from small businesses…not local. To me using Amazon gift guides just seems like taking the easy way out. I’ve always enjoyed buying that unique gift for someone.

This time of year I’m inundated with advertisements for holiday wear. I bought a really pretty purple sequin dress from the consignment store. I doubt I will wear it this year as my friend is not in a celebratory mood. I always wonder where are these people wearing these outfits.

I think this year the “excess” on Instagram that some people show makes me uncomfortable because there are so many people that are really struggling, especially in the States. Food bank use in my city and in many cities is at an all time high.

Next week I am getting together with a friend. Had to change our plans and she said it doesn’t matter I just want to spend time with you. That’s the true spirit of Christmas.

If you were a colour, what colour would you be? I would be yellow. It has always been my favourite colour. It’s sunny and makes me happy.

What piece of advice would you give your younger self? It’s alright to say no to something you don’t want to do. Janet and I were both people pleasers and it definitely means that you get taken advantage of. If I could give myself another piece of advice it would be to stand up for myself.

What was the best piece of advice you were ever given? Always make sure you have cash on hand for emergencies…my Dad. It’s ok to spend money on things that make your life easier…my Mom. When she was in the hospital she told me to take cash out of the ATM and take a cab if I needed to. She didn’t want me waiting outside in the cold for a bus. Using a cleaning company

If you needed advice on a matter, who would you ask? It would depend on what the advice was for. Money I would ask my friend’s husband. Personal stuff I would have a couple of friends I would choose from. When I got a new TV and smart phone I asked my friend on Facebook who knows a lot about that stuff.

A week ago I went out for coffee with my friend whose Mom died the end of August. There were times when she teared up. I was sitting across from her so I skooched over and held her hand. I started to cry too because I could feel her pain. On Friday I went out with another friend whose Mom died the beginning of August. She was helping me run an errand so it was a short visit. We talked about the usual stuff…dealing with an estate, the things we miss, sleepless nights. Usually when I go out with friends my heart feels full but my heart felt heavy. I know that I am comforting them just by being able to share my experience and give them a hug. I honestly wish I could do more but grief is something we all have to work through ourselves.

My coffee buddy are often in sync and will send a text just when the other one is about to. Yesterday, I shared a quote on friendship that I found on Instagram. 2 seconds later I get a text. In the course of conversation she tells me that her father ended up in the hospital. I didn’t even know what to say.

The past few months have been really hard. I was starting to look forward to a coffee get together with the girls and decorating the tree in December. While those things will still happen right now I have to focus on one day at a time.

Canada Post in on strike for the second time in a year. Since they are losing money the Federal government had made some suggestions to streamline. We would no longer have door to door delivery and they would switch to community mailboxes. We would no longer have daily delivery. I’m not sure whether it would be twice weekly? I receive one piece of letter mail a week so that wouldn’t affect me at all. The thing that irks me is that small businesses are losing money every day that they are on strike. They can’t afford to go with another company and some couriers don’t deliver to rural areas. There was a woman on the news last night who said she might have to close her shop for good because she can’t afford to wait it out.

I recently ordered some clothes from a consignment shop in Guelph. They use Sendle and the courier didn’t deliver my package and just sent it to a pick up location. This happened twice. The owner was very accommodating and offered to switch to Purolator. Canada Post went on strike the day my package was picked up by Purolator. I was worried that it wouldn’t be picked up but it was.

This is what my tracking info looks like. What happens to a package that is out at 8:43 and is still on the truck 8hrs later? The “road closure” is code for Canada Post employees are blocking the entrance into Purolator. I’ve seen some pictures on Facebook in other cities. I could have put this post in the WordPress word of the day which is howl. It’s not the end of the world if I have to wait a couple of extra days (today is a Federal Holiday) but there are people who are unable to get a passport, health card.

My Dad was a letter carrier and retired in the early 90s. It’s a different time now.