Long long time no blog. The last year was pretty epic. That curious adventurer above is my amazing little star and now he is one. Flipping flip flops. ONE!

He is my heart.

Folks, we want another one. A family of four has always been the plan, but oh me oh my I have the fear. The years it took to get my hands on that precious boy were the worst I have know and my birth experience was deeply and horribly traumatic.  I want to call the clinic to start the ball rolling for another iui but something keeps stopping me. We could just have a go naturally but that scares the bejebus out of me too. I don’t want to deal with anymore hurt. I just want more of the happy crazy exhausting chaos my boy brings with his every waking breath.

I imagin this is going out to all of about two of you, but I needed to write it out loud,  so to speak. Happy new year lovelies.

and it’s an exciting one folks x x x

Hey folks. Very quick post from my phone to pick your brains. And not just coz it’s nearly Halloween. This week is UK Infertility Awareness Week and I am feeling the urge to do a bit of advocacy. Although I have to ok this with Remus first. I am drafting a little status and will obviously link to the campaign but I also want to link to one of those wonderful ‘things not to say to an infertile’ article or blog. That’s where you come in. I know there are some really great ones, I just can’t remember where to find any. Can you help???

And just because….

I have been wanting to write for a while now but honestly have struggled to find any words worth writing. However, I do want to let you all know how things are going here and catch you up on life in the Moon house hold. There are pictures in the next post which is the only reason that it is private. Big old hugs to all of you lovely bunnies. 

If you need my password just ask, it is still my dogs name with a capital then the word ‘the’ and then her breed and the word ‘dog’, no spaces. As in Franktheretrieverdog, only not.

I am in fact still in existence, although I can understand why you might have begun to doubt that fact. This is a very birthy/preggy/baby post. Please just skip if you are not in a place to read this. I will come back and write a dog/baking/clothes filled post soon to make up for it. And because no Moon post would be complete without a dog star photo here she is on a lovely woodland walk…

This post is actually a request post from a friend who reads this blog (or did until I became useless and stopped writing). She has asked for a write up of the hypnobirthing course I have been attending and because I love to please, here it is. 

Firstly a disclaimer: Attempting natural birth is right for me but I am an advocate for choice. My opinions on my own birth choices are not in any way a judgement on anyone else’s choices. Each woman (or couple) should be free to explore and choose to pursue the birth that is right for them. There should be a spectrum of options from which to draw and clear and useful information to help us choose.

I am incredibly lucky that in our city I have the choice of three Hospitals, all of which have the option for home birth, midwife led Birth Centres as well as facilitates to bring out the big guns if necessary. I feel empowered, safe and well looked after. I have chosen the one with the best Birth Centre (it is like a spar, seriously, nicer than many a hotel I have stayed in) and I am hoping for a self-directed water birth. The NHS may have failed me spectacularly when it came to conceiving this little Roo, but they are making up for it now as I prepare to welcome my bub into the world. I have hired a Doula and gone on this hypnobirthing course to hopefully optimise my chances of achieving the birth I am hoping for. 

So, ever since I first mentioned hypnobirthing to Remus, and he looked at me like I had just suggested we head out into the woods and I squat under an old oak tree to give birth, he has been referring to it as Hippy Birthing. Remus is a cynic, a sceptic and a scientist. He is an avoider of all woo and anything he perceives as crunchy hippy wand waving. I convinced him to at least give it a shot as he had had a similar reaction to my wanting to hire a Doula and was then surprised to find her a down to earth, evidence based, practical woman who was obviously going to be a great advocate and help up navigate a world we had no experience in. He still thinks my placenta encapsulation plans are daft but is letting me get on with it as he can see no harm in it.

I also explained to him that the point of hypnobirthing is not that you are in any way ‘put under’ by a magician who then makes you run round the room as a chicken. It is about empowering yourself to re-set the way you view birth. I have to say that having now been to the classes he is a total convert and can see just how it works and how it will make a difference to both of our experiences of bringing this life into the world.  

Also, it was not just Remus who has preconceptions, I personally went along with the idea that hypnobirth was for ideal situations. A tool for a natural birth where everything was going perfectly. What I soon realised was that this was a actually something that would help prepare me for whatever happens, even if things get more serious and interventions are required.  Yes, the idea is to prepare for the birth you desire… but the relaxation techniques and positive affirmations used will also help you navigate a more upsetting and stressful situation and hopefully allow you to still have a good birth experience. Obviously this is all in theory for me at the moment but the lady leading the course certainly made a good argument. I would even go so far as to say that if you were planning a c-section for medical reasons then hypnobirthing would still offer you something. At its core it is about putting fear and expectations of pain, mess, stress, hard work and difficulty aside. It is about embracing the birth of your baby as a powerful and wonderful event and having ownership of it however that birth ends up being. 

There are various different elements to the course.

• Affirmations: you are given a CD to listen to daily with these affirmations on backed by soothing music. I am not always keen on this sort of thing but I find these ones useful and not too floaty and gooey. I was also worried the music would irritate me but actually I now think I will want to have the music playing whilst I labour (I genuinely did not expect to like it that much).
• Relaxation: there is also a deep relaxation script on the CD which you also do every day (we put it on before bed and it helps us both sleep, although there are a few womby/cervixy bits that Remus can’t relate quite so well too!! ha ha ha). This also has the same music in the background. 
• Breathing: you learn three types of breathing, one to help you practice relaxing, one for the first stage of labour and one for the second stage (this one she describes as the coffee plunger and it makes so much more sense than the panting breath often used). 
• Gentle or light touch massage: this is a great bit, Remus has to practice massaging me with this technique and apparently it has a similar effect to a tens machine but nicer.
• Anchoring: this was the most hypnotisy bit of the course. We learnt a way to help me go even deeper into a relaxed state simply by using a word or a touch. You do this by doing an exercise regularly. Very hard to explain exactly but it uses deep breathing and suggestion. 
• Perineal Massage: From 34 weeks we will be doing this every night. Not apparently everyone’s favourite bit of the course but if it helps keep my hoo-ha intact, bring it on. Not sexy.
• Understanding anatomy and UFP: Our tutor had a plastic pelvise, a ball, a cup, a spoon, a doll and a knitted uterus and with these she gave the best explanation of how birth actually works that I have ever heard and why UFP (upward and forward facing positions) are the best way to give birth easily and with less pain. Mr Scientist Man sitting next to me was fascinated. 
• Birth videos and stories: we watched several of these and they were truly amazing. Blew my tiny mind. 

For me one of the most wonderful things is how much Remus is included in it all. He is not just an observer in this process. He has his jobs to do, his place to fill and it is about the two (you might say three) of us working together. I loved that this gave him a way to be so much more involved in our birth and birth choices. 

I am already approaching birth with positivity and excitement. I cannot wait to have this amazing experience and I would not give up being a woman and having this chance for anything. In these terms I am already in the head space the course is intending to put us in. That is not the same for everyone. There were two couples on the course who are preparing for a second birth after bad experiences with the first. For them I can see that the course offers more challenges and difficulties and is not simply the lovely time I am having on it, but, I can also see that it is benefiting them in a way that is on a whole different level from the way that it is helping me.  The journey that they are going on, that is allowing them to reclaim the birth experience as a positive rather than a negative one is beautiful to watch. I am not going to fib, there have been tears. But when I see them come back week after week each time feeling more prepared and less scared it is really lovely to watch. 

This is not a quick fix, and it certainly involves a large amount of preparation. When I think about it though, I spent months and months organising my wedding making sure every detail was perfect. I spent hours on all of the tiny little details that went into that one amazing day. Why would I not want to be equally as well prepared for this next day that will change my life forever. Roo is more than worth the effort in my opinion. 

So there you go, Hippy Birthing is something I am excited about and I am really looking forward to putting into practice.

In general Luna news all is well. I am now approaching the 29 week mark and the only real issue I am having with pregnancy is continued insomnia due to RLS. Other than that I am fit as a fiddle and having a blast. The dog star is slightly cross that our walks are slowly shortening but as far as possible I am trying to get other folk to come and help out with a second or third walk each day so she isn’t too badly short changed. I have my little sisters 30th to look forward to this weekend and I am planning an amazing cake. I will make sure I show you all the fruits of my efforts. 

Roo is getting busier and busier and I am feeling flips and kicks and I don’t know what else. Every night when we go to bed we have Remus and Roo time when I lie on my back, he feels my tummy and Roo has a little party. It is so cool.

Remus is amusing me greatly as he is having somewhat of a Peter Pan relapse. He has just bought a kite and kite buggy, and a land surfer for his wind surf sail as well as going off for a week to get his coastal skipper yachting qualification. I am quietly letting him get on with it so he gets it out of his system now and is ready for all the challenges of Daddydom that await. Boys are funny.

And that is pretty much where we are. I hope this post is interesting/useful for some and if not then that is fine too. This whole baby producing/ child rearing thing is so individual and we each have to find our way down it’s bumpy path. 

I hope you are all well, I still read avidly and comment sporadically even if I have been atrocious at actually blogging. Love to you all. 

Brilliant…

Hope you are all doing well. Hugs my friends.