I locked my keys in my car. All I did was leave my purse in the car when I got out at the gas station, and didn’t have a pocket in my skirt to put my keys and cellphone in. I locked the door behind me, as I always did, and it was still locked when I came back a few minutes later, without my … Continue reading And it didn’t mean I failed
Once again, I slipped. Once again, I turned back in my path. Once again, I broke down and gave up on my course. And once again, I’ll stand up, wipe the mud from my hands, and do my best to keep going. Continue reading Once Again
I’m not taking care of myself. That’s not something I’m going to do anymore. All my life, “taking care of yourself” has been a phrase which means the same thing to me as seeing a 30 year old man in a helmet and full body protection in a little kid’s bouncy house. You get the picture. Take care of yourself. Don’t push. Take care of … Continue reading I’m Not Taking Care of Myself
“I’ve been worrying that we all live our lives in the confines of fear.” -Ben Howard. This is me. Actually me. This is my life. I’ll be the first to tell you, nope, I don’t know what I’m doing. As is obvious, I most certainly do not have everything (or even most of the things) under control. I’m prone to make fun of myself, it’s … Continue reading The Abandonment of Fear
Hi there. Remember me? It’s been a while. I’m sorry. You see, I’ve been hiding. Mostly from myself, from thinking, from feeling, but also from people. Hiding seems to be my default. I think I have been hiding from myself. Hiding from pain. It made sense in my head to try to prove myself. Prove my strength, despite pain. Prove my competency, despite failure. Prove … Continue reading Hello Again: Bloody Palms and Scraped Knees
The question tripped out in broken, stumbling English, and a furrow cut deep across his brow. “Child,” he said. “Sweet child. Why do you work yourself, so very hard?” And I had no words to answer him. Continue reading
Lair. Lair. Lie. Remember to be bright. Remember to smile. Remember to stand up straight. Don’t be weak. Push yourself. You can handle it. Don’t you dare let this break you. You must be able to handle more. Remember to act normal. Remember to lie. There are times when everything looks like a lie. I see the person that I am, the life that I live, … Continue reading Then the Liar was Renamed
“You’re so expressive!! You’re like a one-woman show!” “Your face is hilarious! I laughed so hard watching you react to everything!” “You’re such a clown.” I’ve been getting it all my life. At first I thought it was great, people noticed me, people liked me. Nobody objects to positive attention in the beginning. But after a decade of people exclaiming on the extravagance of my expressions, my face, my … Continue reading The Dramatic Misinterpretation of a Genuine Lair’s Expression
I have a job! At an office!! I can work practically full-time, without hurting myself!! ….wow. Life is a bit crazy. I realize that I’ve wasted a lot of time this summer. Wasted it being afraid, wasted it hiding, wasted it knocking on all the wrong doors. Although now that I think about it, maybe that last one wasn’t a waste. Maybe I had to … Continue reading Just a Happy Little Blurb
There are two very different elements to what we think of as ‘life.’ There is the wild, the unpredictable, the uncalled for and the uncontrolled. The rainy days, the sunshine, the car accidents, the gifts, the random encounters and bizarre coincidences. The Life that just happens. But, anyone will agree, that’s not all there is. There is the Life that we work for. The people we … Continue reading In Pursuit of Practicality: Twofold Life
these fibro days 