Off Topic – Boyfriend Rant.

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Let me just tell you now, my boyfriend is amazing. He is supportive, helpful, kind and I feel safe and happy with him…

90% of the time.
Yesterday I was super excited as for the next 2 weeks until maternity leave I am only working half days and I had so much planned for my first afternoon off (think Geordie Shore, tim tams and my pajamas). Well I get home and before I can put a cheek on the lounge I get the washing done, tidy up the house and putt around making sure I wasn’t wasting a full afternoon on doing nothing (not something I usually worry about but I hadn’t touched my washing in a week). My boyfriend had had the night shift the night before and was still asleep but after I finished my chores and had gotten pajama ready on the lounge he sidles out, hangs out the front door with a cigarette and politely asks if I may please take him into town? (he doesn’t drive, that’s a WHOLE OTHER ARGUMENT but). This is fine with me, I hadn’t turned on the TV or opened my tim tams so I decide to get up and drive him.
On the way I ask “Babe, why we going into town?”
He then replies “I had a dream about steak, so we’re buying a barbecue.”
I then wittily reply “Oh, did you also dream we won the lottery?”
I am sooo funny 😉

He then concedes to tell me that we have enough money in the savings to buy a barbecue and have enough left over.
I’m not stupid enough to argue with this because the savings are all really his, I couldn’t save money if I was promised a million dollars to do so.

After that these consecutive events happened –

– Get into store and pick barbecue
– Buy boyfriend new underpants
– Tentatively ask if I can buy a new bra
– Boyfriend pretends not to hear me
– Pay for goods
– Drive around to pick up bay of store to get barbecue
– Barbecue does not fit into my car
– Call my Dad and ask if we can borrow his ute
– Leave boyfriend waiting with barbecue and pickup ute from across town
– Drive ute home a with barbecue
– Unload barbecue
– Drive across town to drop ute off and pick up my car
– Drive home again
– Boyfriend asks if I can go pick up some steak so he can barbecue
– Say yes (STUPID SAY NO NEXT TIME)
– Go to supermarket to pick up steak, see other things we may need in store
– Buy so much I can’t carry it to the car by myself and drop washing powder in the carpark
– Washing powder explodes
– Fight back urges to scream whilst people look at me with pity (poor pregnant women, I should help but I am not decent or nice)
– Drive home again
– Get home, boyfriend tells me sister called and would like to come over for a barbecue
– Fight urge to kill boyfriend 
– Drive across town to pick up sister (who ironically also can’t drive!)
– Get home, boyfriend tells me we need gas for the barbecue (WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THIS AN HOUR AGO!?)
– Fight urge to torture boyfriend and sister while they both light a cigarette
– Take sister into grocery story to get gas
– Look for gas – no gas at grocery store
– Drive home
– Tell boyfriend there is no gas at the store, we will have to wait for another day
– He laughs “They don’t sell gas at the grocery store you need to get a bottle from the fuel station” (HOW THE F*CK WOULD I KNOW THAT?)
– Eyes twitching, hands shaking drive to fuel station 
– Pick up gas
– Fight urge to throw gas bottle at boyfriend
– 3 hours later am served dinner (chicken kebabs, “expertly grilled” apparently)

Now I think any women would be lucky to get through that kind of afternoon without crying/screaming or driving into a brick wall. But being 9 months pregnant, ready to “pop anyday now” I was furious by the time that endeavor was over – my feet where so big from fluid that I had to spend 15 minutes lying on my back with my feet up the wall before I felt balanced.

That is my story. I just needed to tell someone that people are stupid and selfish and I am terribly nice and should be given flowers and chocolate and a pedicure. 

Thanks all.

x

 

The Crap Weeks.

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These weeks fall from the time you find out – to the time you start to get used to it, for me it was from 4 weeks until my morning sickness went away around 8 weeks along. Thinking about that now, it seems too short of a time to have felt as much as I did. 
Us women are spectacular at over-thinking, but I’ll tell you what, we are also good at over-feeling.
My best emotion picks? Look below and stare in wonder.

– Happy! I was having a baby, there was a little bean inside of me that would eventually call me Mum, cute, babies are so cute
– Excited! Woohoo, in 9 months I get to meet this little bean, I can’t wait to decorate the nursery and buy all the little people things
– Apprehension; I am so attached to this bean already and books and blogs continue telling me that miscarriage may be looming
– Fear; Ohmygod, I ate a soft serve and this book says that a big no-no, do I call the doctor? I’m a terrible mother.
– Guilt; I can’t stop thinking about soft serves, they’re all I crave.. OH SHIT I HAD ANOTHER ONE. I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING. 

I was also filled with anger (mostly directed at my partner) as I had to quit cigarettes during all this and he continued to smoke which at the time was the worst thing in the whole world, looking back? If he hadn’t of quit he would have had NO way whatsoever of putting up with me and probably would have killed me in my sleep. 

My advice on all this?

Cry if you want to (it’s your party right?), yell if you need to and eat what you feel like. 

The reason for this is that I was feeling pretty horrible, I was trying my best to eat healthily whilst I had morning sickness and all my body seemed to want was ice cream and looking back now – i should have just given it ice cream. 
If you need to sleep, sleep.
You need to get up in the night and have a guilty-i’msonothavingamidnightsnack snack? DO IT (coco-pops was my favorite).
We’ve all been there and I can honestly say I’m proud of any women who eats a set amount of calories per day and does it with a smile. I would prefer to eat a cheeseburger and be happy, then have a salad and hate the world for the rest of the day.
Same goes for your relationship;
You need to say something? Say it.
You need help with the washing because your buggered after taking your shoes off? Ask for it.
You don’t want him cooking steak in the kitchen because it makes you retch? Hit him across the head with his darned steak and send him to his room (I ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO COOK STEAK IT MAKES ME SPEW). 

Also things that may help;
Talk to someone that recently had a baby, or that is pregnant. Not a women that has forgotten about pregnancy and wants to try again, but someone who has it fresh in there minds and can sympathize with you over virgin cocktails. 
Shack up with your man one night and watch a bunch of movies with a bunch of junk food, build a little fort if you like, just make sure to spend some time together, cuddle each other that kinda thing.
Have lunch with your Mum, even if you haven’t told her yet – you may have a new appreciation of the work she did to bring you into the world.
Get a mani/pedi/haircut/expensive new dress – your about to have a baby and splurging may not be the best idea in 10 months time. So treat yourself now, grab a girlfriend and get a massage – anything that will make you feel nice. 
Go to the park and watch Mums play with their kids, this always brought a smile to my face, I was about to be a Mum and seeing Mums and Dads interact with their kids at the park always left me with that warm-fuzzy feeling. 
Sleep – again, in 10 months sleep will be in the past. Get as much as you can and feel like. 

If any other lady has an idea on how to get through this time? Leave me a comment I’m always open to new ideas.

And to the women who read this and say, but I feel fine and i’m 6 weeks along? It’s not that hard. Screw you. 

 

What Came After Conception;

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I’m 9 months pregnant as I write this and it has been a long and winding road to get here. One thing that shocked me, is even if you are growing a life inside of you, your fatigued, grumpy, fat and unhappy the world around you continues to turn and your still expected to be a model citizen and a part of society. 

I spent the first few weeks after we found out crying, yelling and sleeping. Usually in that order. I had many a pregnancy book, blog and forum tell me it was perfectly normal to be able to vomit up your breakfast whilst giving your partner a dirty look (it was ALL HIS FAULT) and to sleep from noon until midnight after doing nothing but lie on the couch watching jersey shore reruns.
But what these pregnancy books and blogs failed to explain was how to get through this part. I knew that my morning sickness would subside around 14 weeks, that once I delved into the second trimester my body would regain a smidgen of normalcy but what about now?
How do i get up for work and function like a human when I don’t feel like one? How do I stop myself from tearing my sweet innocent boyfriends face of when he mentions having a night apart so he can go and be social (how dare he leave me.), my Mum was no help, my mother in law was no help because everyone continued to tell me to focus on the due date. Which at that point in time was a whole 7 months away. And trust me, I’m not a patient person at all. 

I got through it without any fatalities (I promise I’m not writing this from prison), but as an advocate for US WOMEN NEED THE TRUTH I don’t want anyone to feel as lost as I did. 

9 months is a long time to be lost, and I hope that any pregnant women, or women at all that are reading this will get a smile, a smidgen of hope or something they can take away and pass onto friends and family who take the almighty dive into children and pregnancy. 

So I’ll follow up this post – with a few tips and tricks for those nasty first few weeks.. Grab a Big Mac and read on my fellow child bearers I am about to pass on eternal wisdom. 

My Truth

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I hated being pregnant.
Yes, most people reel back in horror at this remark – “but your growing a life inside of you! It’s a beautiful process!” 
I have many words for pregnancy, beautiful wasn’t one of them. Tiring and even frustrating were two words that come to mind.

I hate the word “accident” because once we begin to explore the nether regions of men and we have been educated about safe sex, it’s hard to have an “accident”. But I do prefer to call my conception “Oops, I forgot to take my pill… Oh well we’ll be right”.
To all those women who have been trying for years and have just succeeded – then maybe this blog isn’t for you, because I’m here to tell you, it’s not all pregnancy glow and happy maternity photos.

At first I thought it was just me that thought this way – surely if pregnancy was this rough someone would have said something? (Hello Mum? WHY DIDN’T YOU SPEAK UP?!).
But after joining an online pregnancy forum it was revealed that a LOT and might I even say the majority of women were having a hard time. My forum was full with headings like “is anyone else struggling?” and “feeling annoyed.. rant ahead” and my personal favorites “TMI – Does anyone else have *insert disgusting unprepared for pregnancy symptom.”

This blog is for the women who were shocked that their promised pregnancy glow was actually oily skin, who ate all the wrong things and were shocked by the weight stacking on in horrendous amounts, who loved the little person inside them but longed for those 9 months to be over so they could have their bodies back. I want all you ladies to know that you shouldn’t feel guilty, your tears, fears, feelings and incessant salt and vinegar chip cravings are normal.