i’m moving from wordpress.
i made a new blog. so i officially moved now. click the link named “my tumblr.” if you want to see my new blog.
as the clock goes ticking…
I know that clock never stops ticking. But I hate to know time went by so fast,
And only 4 days left to my sacred 20th birthday.
I don’t want to grow up.
i, being stalked?
One thing that surprising me is one of my posts (on some last months) suddenly being read by someone who clicked my blog from one certain web. I am checking on my blog stats almost every day and I realized that someone on these recent days viewed that post over and over again. At first I think it’s just normal because that post got commented the most, so I don’t really care. But I also surprised that one of my posts in the early 2008 (that I think nobody ever pay attention to it) is also being viewed by someone (I think the same “someone” that I mentioned above) also in the same time the previous post be read.
Am I being stalked?
To be truth I don’t like feeling this way, because for me this blog is some kind of my diary (or so-called it, I think); I wrote and will write anything that I would love to write. Even though that involves my deepest thoughts or feelings or anything like that; I will write it because I love to write and I want people to know that I have some thoughts for share.
But with the feeling of being stalked like this, I don’t think I really like it. It had taken away the freedom for me to write. So now on I protect some of my posts with password, I will let people who visit my blog guessing how the post can be viewed.
And dear someone, if you happen to read this post, just give a comment (more than one comment are necessary) why you keep doing this. I need to find out the reason why. Thanks anyway.
queen amidala, what were you thinking?
this is Natalie Portman and her new-hippie boyfriend, Devendra Barnhart.
and look at the purse that he’s carrying.
OH NOOOOOOOOO!
I never thought that Natalie Portman likes the hippie-kinda guy. I think Hayden Christensen is waaayyyy cooler than this guy.
commit to change.
I scored badly this semester. So bad until it makes my GPA decreases about 0.6 point from the last. I realized I spent too much time for playing instead of studying, but I cared less and I continued to do those useless things.
Yesterday during my hopelessness seeing my GPA goes down that way, Asih said “Ta, are you sure you still want to continue your study serious at ITB? Cause if you don’t, you better quit now before everything become too late. There are many people who want to be in your position, Ta. And it’s just unfair for them if they know you act this way during your days in ITB.”
I know I don’t want to be an engineer; I want to be a film maker and (somehow these days) I’m also thinking about working as a journalist. I know for sure what to do to be one, I already got the link, some friends, experiences and else and else and else.
But I can’t be that selfish by wasting my time at ITB, because this is my choice, this is the place that I always wanted to be my college since I’m on junior high.
A quick and big step should be done. I should change.
No more excuse.
Protected: la la la means i love you.
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oh, so confusing
I don’t even get the reason in what you have been doing.
Tell me, what kind of person are you, girl?
holiday updates.
Two days in Jakarta just went great. I spent my first day here by joined the surprise birthday party for my bestest-pal Perica, who was turning 20 on Sunday, June 1. I and Perica’s friends from Faculty of Dentistry-UI went to her house at Rempoa. We expected to get there by 9 AM, but Indonesian people always ‘destined’ to be late, so we arrived at Perica’s on 11 AM. After successfully make Perica surprised by our arrival there (She cried happily because of the surprise), we all also surprised by saw a giant birthday-cake with Perica’s cutest pic above it (sorry Perica! Ha-ha). But the cake tasted really nice anyway so I don’t care. After that, Perica’s dad kindly asked us to come with them and had some pizza at Pizza Hut Bintaro. Who in the world can refuse such an offer like that? (Hahaha, I’m such an opportunist) So then we went to Pizza Hut, played with balloons there and celebrate Perica’s birthday like the kindergarten’s students do. It felt so much fun. I’ll post some photos about this later.
On the 2nd day I went to Kinokuniya Bookstore to seek English-French dictionary. I spent couple of hours there only to look “mupeng”-ly of some books that I wanted (Blank Gaze, Persepolis, all books on “Film Studies” shelf, etc). Then I had window shopping (a real window shopping, because I basically didn’t buy anything at all) until my dad come after me and take me home.
I’m feeling so light, because I can finally release myself from the horrifying exam week and tons of assignments. I feel so much relaxed now.
But for this one thing that I can’t find the reason why; well maybe I know but I refuse to know that. I keep repeating the same song in my head for two days until now.
Bagaimana bisa kau hadir di mimpiku? Padahal tak sedetikpun ku rindu dirimu.
~~ Khayalan – The Groove.
one month to go.
I’ve been counting the days, yes; it’s still 29 days before I finally reach 20.
I don’t know, it’s just, I’m feeling a bit scared about having my next birthday. I started to hate the day that so-called-‘birthday’ and its celebration since I’m having my 18th. I don’t know why but since I’m 18 whenever I’m thinking about my birthday I feel like “Oh Geez, I’m getting old.” and usually it’s always followed by some thoughts about how- I-have-wasted-my-time-in-a-year. I often ranted why people still like to give a birthday greetings to me, even though I told them that I hate birthday so much; well but still I can tolerate that, people send birthday greetings for the sake of being polite. But still I hate birthday so much.
And yes, honestly I’m afraid about the fact of going 20. Oh my, why I should be 20! If I can choose I won’t be 20, I rather just stay 19 and then time stops and my age (all of sudden) then will be continued from 30. I hate the twenty-something phase; being 20 for me means that I SHOULD have known for sure what I will do for my life, I SHOULD know what job I will like to take and how to get it, I SHOULD know when will I finish my study at college, I SHOULD know what kind of person I want to be, I SHOULD BE MATURE (or maybe on my way to be one). See, it’s just soooo many ‘shoulds’ I should think about (WELL! then comes another ‘should’ AHAAA). By the age 20 I require to work hard because many people say that this is the years to show all guts you have and to live your life to the fullest, to get the greatest achievement you always wanted to.
I messed up with my life for last two years, with my study and with my ambition of those filmmaking-thingies. I spent two years for having fun and doing nothing; oh my, could it be more crap?
Isn’t that obvious that I’m just not ready for being 20?
I really want to stay as a teenager. I often dreamt about if only I could turn back time then I would go to the day when I was 16, when I was busy making films with my mates at high school until I had my 19 birthday then start to rewind it from the early age 16 again, and so on, and so on.
I don’t want to be 20; I’m not ready for being 20 with the same-me today.
But to like or not to like, I will greet the June 25 and then turn 20. Soon.
It would be such a horror for me, but my friend Cupris said “Being 20 is not that nasty.” Well, we’ll see and just pray that everything will be OK.
proud to be indonesian!
so, on the 21st of April (Kartini Day – commemorate of Indonesian Women’s Independence), all girls at my campus were told to dressed themselves in Kebaya (Indonesian women’s traditional cloth) or Batik in order to thank Ibu Kartini so now we can feel the joy of being Indonesian women.
it turned out to be so much fun seeing your friends transform into beautiful women with wearing Batik and Kebaya. I personally tried to wear Batik to campus since November 2007, felt quite happy seeing people didn’t feel shameful wearing Batik but also hoping that they wear Batik because they love Indonesia and its traditional art; not just because of Batik is becoming very popular in fashion industry right now.
well, I cross my fingers for that. 🙂
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