through the looking glass

today i scraped my knuckle on a shopping cart.  i have a shopping injury… 

i found a few cool things at the thrift shops.

i'll have to try to consign some stuff for trade or credit.  they have SO much stuff in that store, i don't see why they would want to take more, but whatever. 

aack.  i have some ice cream and i would love to eat it.  but… what about how fat i feel? 

my feet are hot.

i think i'll have a hot dog. 

i don't always 100% mean everything i say. half the time i don't even know what i think. i get irritated or anxious and i talk about it like i'm gonna totally freak out or something, but i'll get over it. sometimes i just get tunnel vision and want someone to tell me everything's okay.

last night i dreamed about lots of sand…. dunes in a desert with wind and trains and train stations.  i was sitting in this one room and i was singing a song…. i think it was a tom waits song and i knew that i was annoying matthew phillips who was someone i knew from fourth to sixth grade and he was sort of babysitting me while i took a nap.  i was really comfortable in this chair i was sitting in.  it was like one of those bucket seats that are for playing video games in your livingroom.  then some girl came and wanted to use that room, like it was a bathroom or something.  we started walking toward the train station because the train was coming and we had to run but it was hard to run and matthew started singing that song and then some black guy was also singing it and i smiled at him with approval because they caught onto my song.  something weird and apocolyptic was going on.  there were this guy and girl and they really wanted to have sex with eachother.  i think it was their first time.  but, they knew the consequences which was that their genitals would fuse together.  but they thought they were going to die anyway, cuz it was the end of the world.  well, it was like they had superglue on their genitalia because they did get stuck.  but the guy decided it would be worth it to surgically separate himself from her.  i don’t know if she died or what.  then everyone had to find a room to hide in.  this whole dream is completely insane and goes on and on.  we were trying to drive to somewhere in southern california.  i was looking at a map.  i’m tired of trying to remember.  the main theme of the dream was travel.

“Work by physiology professor Benjamin Libet at UC Davis shows that neural activity to initiate an action actually occurs about a third of a second before the brain has made the decision to take the action. The implication, according to Libet, is that the decision is really an illusion, that ‘consciousness is out of the loop.’ The cognitive scientist and philosopher Daniel Dennett describes the phenomenon as follows: ‘The action is originally precipitated in some part of the brain, and off fly the signals to muscles, pausing en route to tell you, the conscious agent, what is going on (but like all good officials letting you, the bumbling president, maintain the illusion that you started it all).'” p. 191 The Singularity is Near

hi. i just finished coloring my hair with the temporary red so that it will be brighter and i will feel different than my normal less-bright-haired self. i changed my blog background, too. change is always happening. don’t get too attached.

i spent about twelve hundred hours redoing my blogger template today, even though i’d already completely redone it yesterday. yes, i am bored.

american idol was a tease tonight. it felt so rushed.

i get really tired but i don’t like to go to sleep at night.

i will say to myself, I’m going to read, but then i get on the computer. i still want to read, but i’m postponing it because i also don’t want to go to sleep.

i don’t want to do a lot of things.

people don’t pay enough attention to me.

i probably wouldn’t like it if they did.

hello. right now, since I’m between semesters, my life consists largely of playing The ‘Urbs on Gameboy Advance; or, Neopets. Exciting schtuff, eh? Well, I mix in television, too… just to spice it up. also, I occasionally eat. I’m looking forward to a new semester. I dunno. I’m sure I’ll find other stuff to do. Like read. yeah…. that’s it.