by on

In the last months I confess to having had a complete turnaround in a view I had been holding on to for some time regarding the world of ‘Human Resources’ and whilst I still long for a name for our profession that is slightly more indicative of what sits at the core of great HR work, I am shifting some prejudice I realise I had been holding on to for some time.

Some years ago I became disengaged with the HR profession despite at that time being part of it. I held a genuine belief that ‘people’ are the competitive edge of any organisation and felt drawn to the impact that could be had by a people focused profession. Over time I started to feel as if we were actually a group of professionals who were destined only to turn up to networking events and ask for examples of ‘best-practice’ which we could then replicate in our businesses. I used to dread any new starters in a HR team, referring to it as the ‘six month effect’. For that initial period we would be subjected to a myriad of attempted policy and procedure redesigns that were nothing more than a transplant of logo from some documents they had nabbed as they walked out of the door of their last workplace.

Even the attendees at the dreaded networking events seemed like replications of each other, as if we had all morphed into an un-creative, un-challenging, insipid blob. I confess to feeling utterly underwhelmed with the profession and disappointed we didn’t see our collective value beyond copying from each other.

I detached myself from the network, vowing to focus on how I could add value to my organisation and remained rather critical of all things HR since. I was tired of the whining about not being heard or given a ‘seat at the table’ and reluctant to engage in the united HR exasperation about how boards weren’t listening to the people perspective.

Since stepping back into the world of HR recently I am pleasantly surprised. Whilst there are still pockets of the profession that remain wedded to replicating policies as the only vehicle of impact, there is an undercurrent and a tinge of something unique taking place.

This exciting rumble is not just within the profession either, but from outside it as well. The world of work is calling for change and those in HR who are most progressive see their impact beyond the ‘seat’ at the organisational table. With such emerging complexity in workforce dynamics HR can create a future of work with a reach far wider than within our own organisations. We are starting to reduce our obsession with top down waterfall management and we are hunting out the influencers in organisations as the vehicles for genuine and lasting change.

I have been in progressive non-HR forums recently where the recognition of the HR profession as being able to instigate societal transformation has been openly agreed upon, where it is recognised that the archaic constructs of simple things like the employee contract is part of the challenge and that HR will be able to support the fundamental change needed for society. ALLELUIA!! The ‘seat at the table’ isn’t even the focus anymore, the impact this profession could have beyond just our organisations is the exciting bit, it is where the real transformation will come.

We are looking at a situation where small changes made from within our businesses can have a dramatic ripple effects outside of corporate life. Our actions as a profession in the coming years, how we choose to connect with wider society and link with other professions, has the potential to have a profound and lasting impact on the world of work and my goodness that is something to be celebrated.

So I confess to you I have moved away from being the critic of HR and realise the extent of the contribution that could be made more widely than just within individual workplaces.

I’m smiling to think of the emerging HR revolution. Lazy replication will become a thing of the past because what we need for modern workforce’s hasn’t been in place before. This is where the creative innovators in the people professions will shine and not just positively impact their own corporations but society as a whole.

I urge any of you that suffered the same fatigue with what HR had become to lift yourselves back out of your organisations and take a look around. We can be part of creating the new force for work and drive purpose into organisational dynamics. You can feel the buzz of that possibility in the air and it is truly special.

by on

How to maximise your chances of success as you consider making a change to your career.

At this time of year, whether you are a committed annual resolution maker or you are sick of the ‘New Year, New Me’ rhetoric, there is an undeniable sense of renewal as we head back into work and make commitments to the positive habits and tweaks we can make to our lives.

For some there has been the chance over the break to have much needed thinking time evaluating your current journey and where you may see yourself growing in the coming weeks, months and beyond.

Image of a runner on the year 2019. New starts.

The lean startup world is fascinating as a source of learning about new business tools for success and how lean startup thinking may also help our personal endeavors. Having left corporate life to begin my own next chapter, I am drawn to the notion of ‘pivoting’. This is terminology often used in lean startup methodology where startup teams vigorously test their hypothesis for a product or service and then based on the resulting data, either ‘pivot or persevere’.

It made me realise how useful applying this process can be to decisions around personal change.

If you are reading this then I am guessing that there are already some seeds having been sown in your own mind about a change, either to a new career, going alone or teaming up with a group of like minded individuals. It doesn’t really matter what the change entails, the considerations are broadly the same.

Knowing when persevering is the wrong course of action

The challenge here is that it is always easy in hindsight to look back and say that continuing to persevere was a bad move, in reality we don’t have that level of insight into what will come next to know for sure.

If you find yourself increasingly spending time exploring thoughts around change and harbor a sense of excitement about undertaking your own pivot it may be time to take your thinking further.

We are bombarded every day by the epic stories of the resilience of those that have battled through the toughest of times, to emerge out of the other side of their professional struggles to incredible success. We applaud their courage and admire their ability to plough on in the face of adversity.

Sometimes however, choosing to continue despite all the data suggesting it isn’t going to work is about ego. Far better to choose what perseverance means to you and really understand why you are making that choice. It is more likely you will be successful if your choice to persevere is rooted in something that makes you happy not based on how others will view you.

Beware of pivoting away from something negative

If you are currently faced with a toxic workplace or a situation that is unhealthy for you of course you must be considerate of your well-being and take appropriate steps to move into a different context. However beware of this as your driver for change, the motivation and courage you will need to embark on your new work or project is far better rooted in excitement for what you are about to do than relief about something negative you have left behind.

Have a hypothesis

Just as in the methods used in startups it is important to start with an idea. Try writing it down even, if it is a little vague. The process of noting your thoughts can often help cement and evolve them.

Give yourself a picture of what you are going to do and then build the hypothesis to go with it. The greatest gift you currently have is that you have space and time to decide and to evole your thinking.

HYPOTHESIS

I BELIEVE THAT………… (Capability)

WILL RESULT IN ……….. (Outcome)

I WILL KNOW WHEN I HAVE SUCCEEDED WHEN……… (Measurement)

Lean Startup, pad and pen and post-it.

Design how you will experiment with your idea

In the world of startups this part of the methodology is designing how the idea or hypothesis will be tested. It is the process of creating the plan as to how the product or service will be validated. For you it is about deciding how you will start to test the waters of your own hypothesis. How will you gain insight into whether your idea has value in the real world, beyond your day dreams and musings about the future?

Deciding how you will test the waters before you leap brings such strength to your decision. You will be taking your own emotion out of the equation and validating your idea with some real feedback. This can be as simple as sending some requests for feedback at your target audience or undertaking a ‘side hustle’ or piece of work in your field to get a sense for how it will go.

Dont fear the prospect of experimentation, you will learn so much along the way.

Experiment

Many people feel the fear of taking a leap into the unknown and this is where the biggest resistance to change comes from. If you put in the ground work now you can give yourself a far better chance of success and begin to understand how you will evolve your product or service into a reality.

There are really courageous entrepreneurs who close their eyes and take the step into launch without any validation of their thinking but often they stumble when they haven’t put their customers at the forefront of their concept. They believe their passion and commitment to the ‘exciting idea’ is enough and sadly it isn’t always the case (although there are always some exceptions to a rule) the lack of validation is one reason why so many startups or budding freelancers fail.

Pivot or Persevere

Once you have gathered some valuable insight and feedback on your hypothesis you are far more able to make an informed decision about your next steps. Do you have a a viable minimum concept to be able to launch something? Have you delivered some work in some form? Do you know that with a few tweaks you could go through the next evolution of your thinking based on your learning? Has your experimentation taken you through learning that has proved you are on a path to building a sustainable business?

There is no easy answer as to when to persevere and when to pivot, not in the world of a lean startup, nor for us as indiviudals personally. By applying a systematic approach to your thinking, you at least are giving yourself a fighting chance.

Be disciplined around your fear of looking stupid

Finally it is important to plan how you will keep your demons in check. I often think that if it were possible, one of the best gifts you could ever give a person would be the ability to overcome the fear of looking stupid. In all walks of life and in all contexts this is a major factor preventing people from taking a leap into the unknown or deciding to do something a little bit different.

Scared of a decision, fear

We are often plagued by the questions about ‘What if I take a leap and it doesn’t work?’ ‘What if I fail in a really visible way’ there is no easy answer, except to reflect on the fact that most successful businesses that pivot wish they had done so sooner and individuals aren’t so very different when it comes to change.

By putting in place some key processes around your decision, you will be far better placed to decide whether or when to pivot or persevere.

by on
Faces of the Vibrant Economy 2018

There aren’t that many moments in your life where you will stop being CEO of a business of 26,000 people. As I edged towards the end of my corporate journey I wondered, on a regular basis, how things would feel ‘out here’ on the other side. This last month has been a combination of strange, inspiring and scary all at the same time and I am smiling as I remind myself of some of the funny moments and incredible individuals I have encountered so far.

When I was in my previous CEO role (which feels faintly ridiculous as I pop on a jacket potato for my lunch and let the puppy out for a wee) I would sit at my dining table in my pajamas every Friday at 5am and record an audio catch up with the business. I did it because I wanted to be able to connect with people and it is only now that I realise how useful it was for me personally in order to reflect. So here are the biggest things I have learned in the last month that might resonate with you if you are pivoting yourself;

1. Some days it is just going to feel weird

The world as you know it will be different, REALLY different!! Especially if you have been somewhere a long time, no matter how much you embrace change there will be the moments you long for the comfort and predictability of what has been before.

2. Reach out to people

Not in a needy hideous way, people shouldn’t feel like you are crawling all over them because you want something, but connect with all the ‘awesome’ you have around you… even those you don’t know yet.

I committed to meeting as many interesting people as I could, for no purpose other than I wanted to link with people that gave me energy and to collect inspiration and stories. In this last month each one of those people I chose has been the source of ideas, inspiration and friendship… sometimes from the most unlikely sources.

3. Do nuts stuff – even if you might look daft

People are more concerned about what is going on with themselves to worry about whether you may look a little silly… even those crazy types who look at your linked-in profile every day (you know who you are). In the moments when you are pivoting your life you have this amazing opportunity to ‘try stuff out’.

I was lucky enough to chair a panel of female entrepreneurs in Westminster this week and one thing they all had in common was that they were all just prepared to ‘start something’… and do it fearlessly… even if it may not work.

Tovip heads to the CIPD Conference in Manchester

4. Its odd when people ask what you do

The first times you are asked what you do after you have changed direction is strange. Especially if you are evolving an idea. It may not be cemented enough to explain it fully yet and that is OKAY!! I refer to the above, it doesn’t actually matter what you say since the person you are talking to is largely concerned with their own story  anyway.

5. Don’t take too much advice

People love to be fixers, they thrive on providing a solution to something. Your future is absolutely yours, so keep the external judgment to the minimum whilst you find your energy. Too much advice overwhelms your soul and can get you caught up procrastinating in pursuit of perfection. In the early days connect with energetic and inspiring people, have a few trusted people to bounce off and leave the naysayers to fix someone else.

6. Celebrate your victories

I’m rubbish at this but I am dishing it out as advice anyway. It is easy to be tense about whether you are doing enough, connecting enough, working hard enough, winning the right type of work or creating the right future as you plot and plan your way through your new direction.

In the last month I have worked with some incredible businesses and brands, become one of the 100 leaders who are the 2018 faces of the Vibrant Economy, built a website (with some legendary assistance), exhibited at a national exhibition in Manchester and started some epic conversations about the shape of what I want to build… even so, each day I still end up thinking, what more do I need to be doing, is it enough?

Take a breath and calm the chuff down… eat that jacket potato.

7. Have faith in your choices

If you are focusing on the things that inspire you, make you smile and give you moments where you are so excited you can’t finish your sentences properly, you are on the right track.

Thereafter, take one new and unusual day at a time, believe in the choices you are making (big or small), put in the hard work and wear your brave pants.

by on

I wanted to write my blog today whilst yesterday is still fresh in my mind and all the moments that made me smile (and cry) are crystal clear. I worry that if I wait I won’t be able to recall them all with the absolute clarity I have now, and I want to tell you about the best Sunday of my life.

ThereOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA are thousands of people who take part in the Marathon and I know that is a really obvious point, but the amount of people feels phenomenal when you are there. 39,139 individuals finished the race yesterday and as I said goodbye to my husband and son after the walk to the Red Zone I was utterly overwhelmed as I passed through the gate. I walked up the hill to the red start and it felt like every one of those 39,139 people were in my zone getting ready to queue for the toilet.

All my compression-wear fears were realised in my nervous pre-race moments of trying to contend with a Portaloo WC and compression leggings. So much so I sustained my first Marathon injury prior to the start of the race when I bashed my head on the side of the cabin.

It took my designated ‘pen’ around half an hour to shuffle ourselves down to the start line, a feeling that is more than a little odd. Especially when you are shuffling next to a man with a canoe as a costume, a twelve foot Giant Nurse and an extraordinary amount of people who made the same odd decision about running in a tutu.

The moment I started running after crossing the start line was incredible. I suspect there will be a number of times as I write this that I cannot adequately convey my feelings of yesterday and this is one of them. Suffice to say my overriding thought was ‘holy shit….. I am actually running in a Marathon’ with a massive grin on my face.

The early part of the race was steady going albeit the amount of people makes it really hard to gain any momentum properly or settle into a steady stride. You are either having to weave around, which takes valuable energy, or stay behind people who will regularly slow down. That said I was really enjoying myself, everyone is realmumly upbeat and the atmosphere is remarkable. I spent a lot of my first 7 miles high fiving kids at the side of the road which made me feel like a combination of superhero and superstar… that is until I reached the really annoying kid who pretended to everyone he was going to high five and then withdrew his hand at the last minute shouting ‘Heh Heh’. I am safe to assume I am probably not the only runner that day who wanted to high five his face.

Mile 7 arrived in a blink of an eye and as we passed the Cutty Sark I felt utterly invincible, I rounded the corner to see the first of my the Arthritis Research UK charity stations in marvellous bright orange and my family there to cheer me on. A banner proclaiming ‘RunCJRun’ stood above their heads and I ran past them all feeling on top of the world. 7 miles in…19.2 to go. ALL OVER
IT.

Those of you who read my last blog proclaiming my fears regarding the Marathon will understand my dread of the man with the Fridge. As I ran up to mile 11 I spotted him… already in front of me.. I hoped that it was only as a result of him being in a starting pen further up than myself. At this point I had a decision to make, I either had to stay where I was in this concentration of runners or use some energy to get past Fridge-Man. I knew that towards the M5end of the Marathon when the going got tough knowing I was still behind the Fridge-Man would do me in. So I weaved around a few runners and came up behind him. My god alive that thing looked heavy, how the hell that man ran carrying that thing I will never know. I whipped out my phone and took a picture and as I caught myself in a wonky selfie (finding myself a little amusing) I realised it wasn’t a fridge It was a bloody washing machine, either way I had got past him thank goodness.

Lots of people who run Marathons will tell you about the noise and the shouting your name. It is amazing how much support people really do shout out at the runners….. what is less amazing is when no-one shouts your name. I didn’t really think that ‘C-J’ was that complex but I ran the entire first half with only one individual shouting my name and a Marshall handing out water who called me ‘J-C’. What I did hear (quite extensively) for what felt like years was ‘RHINO’ ‘RHINO’ ‘RHINO’ so I had to put in a quick burst to detach myself from Rhino before it drove me entirely insane.

If anyone asked what my favourite Marathon moments are I have a few to pick from but one of them is very definitely Tower Bridge. It is just before the halfway point and the moment you start to run across that beautiful bridge and hear the crowds who just seem to be one enormous roar is a moment I will never forget as long as I live. The wave of emotion is unreal and I felt like one of the luckiest people alive to be well enough to be able to run….. just so I could experience that moment… in that Marathon.

I spotted my supporters again on the bridge and although I was slightly more fatigued than at the 7 mile mark I felt like I was still going strong and a confident high five and seeing their faces on the way past gave me a real boost in the run up to 13 miles.

The next part of the race felt steady but a little tiring and I was conscious more of my pain through this patch, the crowds were thinner than on Tower Bridge but a pub blaring  ‘Who the Fxxk is Alice’ amused me enough to give me a boost and I had a little dance and ticked through miles 14&15 albeit slowly. Crowds started calling my name and I imagined myself a celebrity, shouting a hearty thank you to all of them. At mile 15.5 I realised they were shouting ‘Claire’ which is part of my name but it is not what was written on my running top yesterday. I was actually running next to ‘Claire’ whose name they were actually shouting. Tossing off my slight embarrassment at thanking complete strangers for shouting someone else’s name I veered to the right of the road to grab a water, took a massive gulp, made myself cough slowed to catch my breath and heard the dreaded sound of the crowd starting to shout RHINO, followed by something much worse……. WOMBLE!

Another thing a lot of people will tell you about as a Marathon Runner is hitting ‘the wall’, I had two fears therefore as I came up to mile 18 and that was hitting this dreaded ‘wall’ and the point I may have to stop running (even though at that stage my current pace was somewhat more enthusiastic shuffle than runarm). I knew that with the pain I was experiencing at the point I stopped to walk I would find it near impossible to return to running. My hip was screaming at me and my knees felt like someone was stabbing me in them with every step. On top of which I had rolled over on my ankle as I had dodged another runner and I could feel a sharp pain on the outside of my foot.

Just over 18 miles in I hit my wall…… she was called Zoe. The road had narrowed so the runners were more tightly packed together which is fine whilst everyone keeps moving but Zoe didn’t want to keep moving and so she stopped to walk right in front of me. I had nowhere to move to and had to also stop. I actually nearly burst into tears right there and then knowing what it would take me to move my limbs again back to running. I felt heartbroken at that point and knew that the time I had hoped for was probably lost for me. I limp/walked for a while as I tried to break the running and walking into sections. It seemed an age since I had seen my family at the halfway point and I couldn’t remember which mile I would see them next.  At that point I also realised how many charities in the Marathon were also a delightful shade of bright orange and wave after wave of disappointment washed over me as I approached groups of orange spectators only to find they didn’t have the people there I needed to see the most.

In those miles and those moments that is when people started shouting my name, properly – MY name. As I passed them all shouting ‘Come on C-J’, ‘You can do it’, ‘It isn’t far now’ (that was a lie…it was always far), ‘CJ try to keep running’ I realised that is what London does for the runners – they shout support when they can see that you need it most.

The final 2 miles were the longest miles of the entire day. Never has something felt so painful and exhausting as that last stretch. I wanted to hurt everyone who told me I was nearly there and I still have no idea where I found the strength to carry on.

Toby had written a message on my arm which I read frequently as I had to walk again through mile 24. At mile 25 (and a bit) I finally saw them, I spotted my husband’s face first and then the rest of them. There isn’t a time I have needed them more than I did right then and I made the loudest (and oddest) sob noise as I approached with my hand outstretched.

Running along the mall I had a last shout from one of the Marathon Paramedics who told me to look up as I went around the corner, as I did – there it was…. the end of myMarathon journey.

After almost a year of training, sets backs, painful joints, limping and raising £6,400 in sponsorship here I was, having once faced the possibility of never walking, finishing the 2016 London Marathon.

This is another moment I will never be able to adequately convey exactly how I felt. I thought my heart would burst as I ran over the finish line with tears in my eyes, as they hung that medal around my neck I knew that it is a day I will remember for always.

M4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by on

 

So I am now exactly two weeks away from running the 2016 London Marathon and my goodness I am nervous. I am really trying not to be, but to no avail….. the nerves have properly set in.

I did a run yesterday, with my son and husband and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped. The sun was shining and we were all in high spirits and for a change I felt like it didn’t matter that my knees and hip weren’t playing ball. My son was on the bike and I was extremely grateful for it when we swapped at the end when my knees gave up.

I have discovered a striking similarity between training for a marathon and being pregnant….. and not just because I feel like I have an excuse to eat whatever the hell I like. It is because Everyone (and I mean everyone) either has advice to give or a horror story. In addition to that I have also read so much about running a marathon that I am 100% confident of one thing only…. I know exactly what I am worrying about on my first marathon.

Worry 1 – You should not try anything new on race day!

This is probably the most prevalent advice out there on running a marathon. Train in your race clothes, your race shoes, make sure you eat the same breakfast, eat the same night-before meal, test what you drink when you run, what you eat and when you eat it…routine routine routine… it is key.  The message is there should be no surprises on race day. My worry largely stems from the fact that every run I have done has been different!!!!

Over the last year I have done ‘smiling smug run’ (in all the gear – no idea), ‘hungover run’, ‘I forgot to wash my kit so I’m wearing a combo of nothing-I-like run’,  ‘oh no, that chafes run’, ‘I hate cherry infused raisins run’, ‘hat on run’, ‘hat off run’. ‘I hate running and this new T-Shirt run’, ‘It is cold so I needed a warmer top run’ … and  on top of those runs, in the name of a consistent breakfast I now have to carry my ginormous smoothie maker in a rucksack across London to make sure I get the same breakfast on race day.

Worry 2 – What if I need a wee?

For a start 26 miles is a long way to run, add in the fact that at some stage over the gazillion hours it will take me to finish the bloody marathon I will likely need a wee. This is probably a concern for most new marathon runners, having to stop to take time out to go to the bathroom isn’t ideal and what if there are no toilets right when you need them and you are desperate? My concern, however, is more to do with my running attire. I wear compression leggings and anyone that has donned ‘compression wear’ before embarking on any exercise will understand that they are a workout by themselves. Before I have even started any exercise tugging those flaming leggings on leaves me out of breath and face down on my bed with exhaustion. Fast forward to the marathon, when I am at the point of extreme tiredness, having to do anything with those leggings will likely mean I need paramedics.

Worry 3 – What if I get lost getting to the start 

I confess I have the absolute worst sense of direction ever ….and also a weird sense of panic about getting lost wherever I go. I would love to tell you it is just an irrational fear but I do actually have a unique ability to get lost. The panic, in my mind, is therefore justified. Spectators are encouraged not to travel to the starting points so I need to find my own way there. There is more than a small possibility that I will be in the wrong place at the wrong time and end up not in the marathon that I have spent the last ‘forever’ training for.

Worry 4 – What if I die

Actually this is not at the top of the list of my worries but if I listened to all horror stories I have heard over the last few months I would absolutely be fearing death from running a Marathon. EVERYONE knows someone, or heard a story from someone, or has friends who know someone who died running a marathon. It would really be an inconvenient waste of training if that happened.

Worry 5 – ‘Anyone can run a Marathon’FullSizeRender

In the long list of specialist people I have seen over the course of my training for a marathon I went to see a podiatrist. Podiatrist’s are people who are trained to prevent, diagnose, treat and rehabilitate abnormal conditions of the feet and lower limbs. I have had operations in the past on my feet and I felt that a visit to a specialist in this area would help me. The podiatrist I saw helped with insoles for my running shoes, told me his advice and opinion on my decision to run a marathon and then by way of comfort (I think) told me ‘ANYONE can run a marathon’. Whilst I love the reinforcing nature of his message, (and actually with the right training, advice, commitment and desire a lot of people could) his statement made my confidence buckle a bit. If it is true that anyone can run a marathon, what if I can’t? That is going to be awkward and embarrassing.

Worry 6 – What if I trip up and injure myself high-fiving people

I read a fantastic book recently called ‘Running Like a Girl’ by Alexandra Heminsley. She wrote about running and the marathons she has taken part in, including the London Marathon which was her first. The way she writes and how amusing her reflections are made it a pleasure to read the book. That said, in the first part of her book when she is talking about her London Marathon run she incurs an injury because she was high fiving spectators and then runs in extraordinary pain for the marathon. I love a high-five…. it’s a worry.

Worry 7 – What happens when I have to walk for a bit

On a slightly more downbeat note this is a proper, real life, keeping me awake, genuine worry of mine (whilst I am obviously continuing to be tough and inspirational). Running the entire distance is unlikely and I have been told that a really great race approach may be to walk and run in blocks. I have never been able to do that effectively because as soon as I stop running I can’t even walk normally. For me… once I am running that is it… it is running or it is limping. There is no walk.

Worry 8 – What if there is no PizzaIMG_3005

Now pizza is not by any means my favorite food… far from it…. but for some reason it has become my ‘whilst running fixation’. Thin crust pepperoni pizza to be exact.  What happens if I finish the marathon (because obviously I will finish) and we can’t get pizza? That will likely make me very angry, or at least as angry as I have the energy to be after 26.2 miles.

Worry 9 – The Man with the Fridge

When you are approaching a Marathon people have a tendency to ask you what time you are aiMan with Fridgeming for, I always say that all I want to do is finish  but there is a further consideration around the speed I am running which is becoming a concern to me. What if I am running so slowly that I am overtaken by that man who runs marathons carrying a fridge? That is going to be a big-old-kick in the confidence right there isn’t it? So now I have adjusted my marathon goal.

I just want to finish the London Marathon……. without being overtaken by the man carrying a fridge.

Worry 10 – Blotchy blubbery face 

I have reached a weird point in the run up to this race that when I visualise running in the London Marathon it makes me cry. I actually think I may have become Marathon Crazy because it happens every time – it is overwhelming to think I will be at the start line of a Marathon inside of two weeks and I think all my emotions about it keep bubbling over.  I recently read some advice on what to expect on race day and I found myself getting tearful as it referenced the halfway point at Tower Bridge and the wall of noise from the crowds which hits you as you turn the corner and climb onto the bridge. There is therefore a fair chance that I will cry the whole 26.2 miles and any photos will show my blotchy blubbery face.

Worry 10 – What if I don’t finish

This is an obvious one I know. But in truth this is the big one. I have never worked harder for anything in my life than I have to run this marathon and I don’t remember a time I have wanted to achieve something quite so much as I want to finish this race. The runs over the last year that haven’t gone well are making me nervous about what will happen on race day because I just want to finish so badly. I had some great advice come through from a sponsor who left me a message saying ‘Run if you can, Walk if you can’t, Crawl if you must’ and it has been my favourite message of support – just to keep going no matter what.

A week on Sunday I will be in that Marathon and it doesnt feel real. I remember the amazement I had at the start of this training when I managed to run two miles without stopping!

I remember the moment when I ran 10 miles for the first time, the run I did for miles on my own in the freezing cold rain, I remember getting lost after taking the wrong turn when I was exhausted, the feeling I had when I managed a half marathon in the week I was told I may have to pull out of London. I remember the moments when I found ways to keep going when the pain was extreme, the hours I have spent in the gym trying to make my hips and knees stronger, the days I have found a way to get out of bed to train in the dark when all I want to do is take painkillers and go back to sleep.

I remember how beautiful the sky can be on a really great run and how humbled I am by the support of everyone from each donator to my charity, to the people who shouted my name when the Half Marathon got tough, to the ones who have emailed me such lovely words of support, to my husband who hates running but is there with me every Sunday and my son who holds my hand and counts to four with me through the pain. I will get through 26.2 miles on the 24th April and I will crawl if I must.

 

 

IMG_3067

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by on

tovipivot's avatarToviP

I have four weeks left until the London Marathon and I am filled with a mixture of nerves, dread and excitement about the 24th April.

I knew this journey would be one of the hardest things I have ever done, if I multiply the discipline and training I undertook for Kilimanjaro by a gazillion then that comes somewhere close to the consuming effort it has taken to train for 26.2 miles. Alongside that is the absolute awareness that this is up there with one of my more stupid ideas.

Despite having Rheumatoid Arthritis pretty much my whole life I have always gone about things with a air of denial that it should have any impact on what I want to do. I am no different whilst I have been training, when I return from a run or training with some new area of pain I still google it and am stupidly surprised that it…

View original post 804 more words

by on

I have four weeks left until the London Marathon and I am filled with a mixture of nerves, dread and excitement about the 24th April.

I knew this journey would be one of the hardest things I have ever done, if I multiply the discipline and training I undertook for Kilimanjaro by a gazillion then that comes somewhere close to the consuming effort it has taken to train for 26.2 miles. Alongside that is the absolute awareness that this is up there with one of my more stupid ideas.

Despite having Rheumatoid Arthritis pretty much my whole life I have always gone about things with a air of denial that it should have any impact on what I want to do. I am no different whilst I have been training, when I return from a run or training with some new area of pain I still google it and am stupidly surprised that it tells me it is likely to be arthritis.

Since my last blog it has been a rollercoaster of success and setbacks that has become the trademark of my Marathon journey.  I have been with my physio every week, had my left knee injected having spent weeks limping with IT band syndrome and walking down stairs has become the bane of my life.

The fundraising side of my Marathon experience has also been overwhelming, the generosity of people is extraordinary and at work the Servest charity machine had organised a raffle, dress down day and bake sale for my marathon effort. Some very talented marketeers had even had posters printed which adorned the walls at work advertising these events with ‘#RunC-JRun’ as the slogan.

Following my injection I spent 5 days with no training on my legs then had a test run two weeks ago.  Sadly two miles in my left knee and hip gave way and had swollen considerably. I limped on a little but it was clear over the next mile that my test run was a disaster.

At the end of a call with my running coach he told me that although he had no doubt that I would one day run a Marathon it would likely not be this one. We agreed that he would interact with the Doctor who had injected my knee so that the decision to withdraw was made by someone other than me, it was so that I didn’t feel that it was me that was giving up. I felt devastated.

All of the following week I kept off running, I was in the gym for 5 days of training and every morning and evening going through series of exercises to build strength in my hips and knees. I will confess that when you walk in everyday to work and are greeted with posters advertising charity events because you committed to running a marathon it is pretty tough. #RunC-JRun haunted me, I couldn’t face the thought of seeing those posters knowing that I had to withdraw.

At the end of the week I had a half marathon booked in Dorset which I was due to run with Frazer, I had decided to start the race so that I got a real sense of what it was like to run with lots of people. Even if I only managed a few miles I wanted to start that half Marathon. It meant a lot to be back in the area I grew up, in the same place I had once attended a school for disabled children to be running 13.1 miles.

I was so nervous the morning of the Weymouth Half Marathon and my joints were not particularly happy with me that morning either. On top of which it was really bloody cold!

We set off and I was determined to keep a sensible pace at the start of the race which is loads harder than it sounds.  My sensible pace is a lot slower than everyone else so crowds of people shot off past me whilst I plodded away, keeping disciplined not to race off with them all takes concentration.

I have always experienced difficulties at mile 3. It is the point where my legs and hips give up or let me keep going. On the 20th March as I passed mile 3 I realised things were going to be okay, I had pain in my hip, my knees and my right ankle but everything was still moving and I found myself running with a stupid grin on my face.

I felt an irrational amount of crossness at the points where the ‘largely flat course’ had hills in it. Having trained in Norfolk which is actually flat I wanted to have stern words with the person who had tricked me into running up hills.

I had asked my parents to station themselves at around mile 11 and I saw them as I came around a corner, grabbing some water and a banana as I ran past them (obviously like a total race pro) I realised that I was actually going to finish. A week after having a conversation about having to withdraw from my Marathon I was managing to run 13.1 miles.

I came over the finish line at 2 hours and 14 minutes, it is hard to describe what it feels like to do something which you had never imagined you could.

What completing the half Marathon has done for me is given me confidence. I have had a couple of runs since the half marathon which haven’t gone well and it does make me nervous knowing that I could wake up on the day and despite all of the training it could be a day where I need help out of bed or to put my socks on.

But then I think…what if it isn’t…. what if in four weeks time I run 26.2 miles.

http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/CJGreen

Weymouth HalfRun CJ RunMedalscoldrun2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by on

Since I don’t want to get repetitive with my tales of how far I have run and how much my knees and hips hurt during my training I thought I would share with you 20 things I have discovered through training for this Marathon

http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/CJGreen

  1. I am obsessed by my training plan
This isn’t something that I have learnt about myself during Marathon training especially, I am an all or nothing kind of a person. If I do something I do it with absolute focus or not at all. The level of obsession with my training plan however has been a surprise. I spend an extraordinary amount of time looking at the plan, thinking about how to fit it around my day or planning out my strength sessions in the gym.
2. There is no such thing as the ‘runners high’ for me
Whilst I am absolutely focused on my desire to be able to run this Marathon, I spend most of my time when I am running wondering what on earth I am doing. The runners high remains elusive and the most elation I get is when I take the first sip of my post run beer.
3. I want my running outfits to be co-ordinated
I enjoy clothes in general and this now extends to my running apparel. Before I began spending hours in workout gear I was less concerned about the colour or whether it co-ordinated with anything. Now I apply the same attention to my exercise clothing as I do my day to day outfits and I get a silly amount of pleasure from my trainers matching my running top. (It is girly I know but 11 miles is a long time to wear a clashing ensemble).
4. I actually am really quite crap at running
This is probably not a great surprise given that I don’t really have the joints to be able to walk some days let alone run, however even on a good day I am not an impressive runner. My running style is actually really embarrassing and I spend most of my long runs doing something that looks half bounce, half old person shuffle.
5. I don’t really like running with other people
This one is a bit awkward given the London Marathon will actually have lots of people there, if they could all be very quiet and not breathe too loud or run anywhere near me I am sure I will be fine.
6. I am HANGRY on a pretty consistent basis
Before the frequency of training extended to 5 days a week I was generally quite hungry a lot of the time. Those closest to me have always been aware that I am quite a cross hungry person and the word HANGRY (a mixture of angry and hungry) is very applicable to me.  Now that I am training I am almost constantly hungry, so much so that on a particularly peckish day I purchased a 3kg bag of Haribo in an Amazon ‘buy with one click’ frenzy.
7. Cherry infused raisins taste as revolting as they sound
During the longer runs it is key to have something to eat or a gel to be able to refuel and give a burst of energy. I have a sweet tooth and an obsession with Haribo (see point 6) however felt I should be far more virtuous on my long runs and purchased some cherry infused raisins to trial as my ‘long run snack’. They are disgusting on a level I cant quite describe and my utter disappointment when I discovered this half way through a long run means I will run with Haribo always. End of.
8. I hate seeing other peoples runs on Facebook
I adore social media and its ability to connect people to each other but what I don’t love is when I see peoples runs on Facebook and realise that I run slower than everyone else. I average around 10 minutes per mile on my long runs and when I see a ‘map my run’ post with someone average 8.5 minutes per mile I want to vomit in my trainers.
9. I post constantly about my running on social media
Despite the above I cannot help myself but post every five minutes about my running, I also ‘like’ nearly every picture of someone running on Instagram, considering myself part of some training club these days. Pictures of my Garmin fitness tracker appear frequently and I make no apologies for that.
10. My Pinterest boards are now filled with stretches and workout plans
My activity on Pintrest now is almost entirely running related. I spend my time looking at training plans, reading ’10 things I wish I knew before I ran a Marathon’ or reading about my latest running injury. This has replaced my previous obsession with planning the décor for my house, homemade face scrubs or pinning the 10 tastiest smoothie recipes.
11. Foam rolling, whilst necessary, is awful
I was introduced to the foam roller via my trainer (and Pinterest – ‘ten foam rolling exercises for runners’) and yes, it is hideous. There is not one single enjoyable moment about rolling around on a tube of bobbly plastic and rubber. Whoever invented foam rolling was clearly in cahoots with the innovator who came up with Cherry Infused Raisins and my thoughts on the activity mirror my views on the offending snack.
12. IT Band Syndrome is not something to do with Technology
The above has become the bane of my Marathon Training, I thought my Rheumatoid Arthritis would be the thing that potentially derailed my running but actually it seems to be my IT Band. This is the thick band of fascia that runs the outside of your pelvis down past your knee. This is responsible for stabilising my hips and knees and due to the arthritis and how wonky I am my IT Band has had a tough job which means I am currently hurting all of the time.
13. I love BBC IPlayer
When I am unable to run because of the IT Band issue or my joints I am in the gym 5 days a week. It is frankly dull as dishwater – particularly on the days that I am required to spend an hour on the cross-trainer or the stationary bicycle. Popping in my earphones and watching a film on the BBC Iplayer is a life saver and alleviates the monotony of the long sessions.
14. French films with subtitles are not right for gym sessions
Whilst I am delighted to have discovered the benefits of watching something on IPlayer for when I am painfully getting through the long gym sessions I do need to be more mindful of my choices. French films requiring concentration on reading the subtitles are not gym fodder and have left me irrationally angry with my choice when I kept missing to read what was happening whilst I took a swig of water.
15. I want to sleep all of the time
Trying to fit training around work and family life means I am constantly tired at the moment. I am getting up at silly times of the morning to fit training in before work so I long for naps like you wouldn’t believe and if I am sat down at home the chances are I am asleep.
17. I hate my Blotchy Red Forehead
Some people look wonderful when they exercise, glistening in a ladylike way as they excert themselves with a healthy flushed glow……. I am not (sadly) one of those people.
In fact, not only do I have a rather unappealing ‘mouth half open gasping for air’ type of look when I am training I also have the most red forehead you can imagine. Its really is a hideously ugly-blotchy red too. Thank you.
18. Sharing a personal story is powerful
Until I decided to climb Kilimanjaro with work colleagues I was very private about having Rheumatoid Arthritis. I actually have always found it quite embarrassing and I hate the days when I limp at work more than I can convey. Choosing to write the blog has been one of the most nerve-wracking elements to all of this but since my first blog I have received emails from people who have the condition, or know someone who does, or who have personal stories of their own and each one has made me realise just how lucky I am and how extraordinary people are.
19. The generosity of people is mind blowing
One of the more daunting parts of the Marathon is the fact that I am raising money for charity, asking people to contribute to a cause is quite uncomfortable especially if it is a cause that is connected with you personally. I have actually felt quite emotional at times seeing donations from people who don’t need to put their hands in their pocket but they do anyway, there is so much negativity in the world and yet people are so generous with their time and donations, that really has made it worth all the effort.
20. I fall asleep with my fingers crossed
With all the things I have learned training for the Marathon the one thing I cant control is whether I will be able to complete those 26.2 miles on the day. I do know that I never imagined running the miles I have and sometimes it really hits home to me what a crazy idea this was….but I just keep imagining what that will be like, to finish the London Marathon.

So now I cross my fingers when I go to sleep…just incase it helpsbikestretchtens

.

by on

So here I am with less than 100 days to go until the image1Marathon and what an amazing couple of months it has been since my last blog.

One of the things that has been incredible about undertaking this challenge is the amount I have learnt about myself, both from the perspective of understanding exactly how my own body works to my capacity to push myself.

I signed off my last blog in a very different frame of mind than I sit here writing this today and yet I have had another week this week where running has been a struggle and I have had to ease back from my training a little. It really shows what a difference perspective makes.

I got back into running slowly after having some time on my crutches, I have been in the gym rather than pounding the roads in order to build up strength. It is an obvious thing but muscles are so crucial to the protection of our joints and I have felt my body growing stronger as I go through this training program. image1

On a trip to South Africa with Servest in November I managed to squeeze in some time to exercise to keep things moving in the right direction. Sadly whilst I was there, my husband Frazer suffered an injury himself which he is currently recovering from, he has been unable to run with me on my weekend runs since I have been back which has meant that every ounce of motivation has had to come from me alone on those longer runs.

In December when I had anticipated being able to enter a local 10k race I had to scale the distance back. I ended up entering a 3k santa race with Toby and we had a great time running together.12

What I have discovered as I have been building up the time and mileage is that I feel really devoted to running now, I have run routes I never knew existed around my home and have relished the time to notice how beautiful the area is. Boxing day fell on a day for running on my training plan and getting out into the countryside on a sunny boxing day morning was simply delightful.

On my longer runs I average a running speed of around 10 minutes per mile, I keep that fairly consistent and last weekend my training plan said I would be running for 105 minutes on my long Sunday run.

In the week leading up to that run I could feel a real sense of excitement mixed with nerves. It is hard to describe what it is like to contemplate running 10 miles when there are times you cannot get out of a chair without help. It just doesn’t seem real or possible.

I set out on Sunday the 10th January to do the 105 minutes. I had a niggle in my knee that had been building over the week so I was a little nervous about how it would go. I have a running watch with GPS that allows Frazer to track where I am so we agreed that should I need it he would drive out to collect me. We went through all the sensible stuff about not pushing too much and jeopardizing my overall training just because I had become fixated on 10 miles and image4armed with Haribo teddy bears and water off I went.

It was a really lovely morning for a run and as I set off it was a real pleasure to take deep breaths and really enjoy being outside. Sometimes it is quite an overwhelming feeling when I am running, knowing you have worked to get yourself to this point is something that never ceases to make me smile.

3 miles in however I was starting to limp quite significantly on one side, having pushed too hard before and ending up out of action I am more nervous now about the damage I could be doing. I tried to correct my running style so I wasn’t limping so much but it was getting worse through the 3rd mile. I even got to the point where I took my phone out to contact Frazer to abandon the run, I had so badly wanted to make 10 miles it was gutting.

I told Frazer I was having pain but that I would run one more mile to see how things went. I took plenty of deep breaths, did an extraordinary amount of counting to four and got myself to 4 miles. At that point I thought… I may as well get to 5 miles and at least I will have done half.

By this time every so often I had to slow things down to a walk periodically when the pain was too much but I ate my haribo teddies and drank my water at the 5 mile point and turned to run back.

I love the feeling after the turnaround point when you know you are over the half way mark and running home. I was in an open space on my own when such a feeling of excitement came over me I did an odd lunging dance in the middle of the road and shouted…’I..am…going…to…run…10 miles’ whilst waving my hands about in the air. To my utter embarrassment at that exact moment a voice said good-morning as a cyclist came past!!

At 7 miles I was trying to keep a consistent pace and was managing the pain well just breathing through it. I jogged past a cyclist on my right hand side who appeared to be standing in the hedge with a phone up in the air, I didn’t look left as I passed him as it seemed really odd.89

I was running along thinking about how peculiar it was and considering why someone would be taking photos from the hedge when I heard the cycle behind me. I have an overactive imagination so rather than jump to a more logical conclusion I decided that I was grateful  that Frazer was tracking me on GPS so he would know the point in the Norfolk countryside where I had been murdered!

The cyclist was slowing behind me and I honestly began to panic a little, then a voice said ‘Awright babes’ and I thought ‘oh no, its a real idiot and now he is talking to me…shall i just ignore him’ I turned around to look at the cyclist and jumped when I realised that Frazer had come out on his bike to be with me for the last 3 miles.

It was a great moment to get some company, by the time I had chatted to him about my knee and how I was feeling practically another mile was under my belt.

As we came closer to home on the return run Frazer asked me to check my Garmin watch to see how far it was…. when I looked I had done 9.97 miles….. as I crossed the last road towards my home I had a big lump in my throat, I was about to run 10 miles. I was in double figures.

Even now when I think about it I am just amazed, the points when I couldn’t make 2 miles seem so far away now and I genuinely feel like this Marathon is possible.IMG_2278

At exactly 10 miles, 1 hour and 45 minutes after I had set out I stopped my watch, launched myself into a hug with Frazer and promptly burst into tears. I had done it, with some pain yes and some doubts but I had done it. I limped the rest of the way home and had the best roast dinner and pint of beer I have ever tasted that Sunday.

 

I have not stopped smiling about it since.

As ever, at this stage of my blog I need to ask that you consider sponsoring me. I am running this for the amazing charity Arthritis Research UK. Any amount, however small, goes towards making a difference to people with this condition.

http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/CJGreen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

by on

I have procrastinated about writing my third blog because, in all honesty, I am feeling a little lacking in confidence.
The last two months have been extraordinary and I have been taking so much enjoyment out of the training and growing stronger as my running has increased.
As I write this however I have hit difficulties. I have been on crutches for a few days this month and will be unable to train for three weeks. To say I am disappointed is an understatement.
I was fitted for my new trainers in late September and having my gait properly analysed and insoles moulded to my feet for my shoes was absolutely fascinating. And they are just so lovely.image
I had also increased the amount of running I was doing and suffered with an issue in my right hip and knee which caused me pain and seemed determined to derail my training. I have an odd strategy to keep me going when the going gets tough. I count to four when I run, over and over again. It takes my mind off things and allows me to focus and settle into a rhythm. It is how I managed Kilimanjaro and it is how I get through the tough bits on my runs. There has been quite a lot of counting to four recently!
I was well aware that along the way I would likely have an increase of flare ups and ‘creaky’ moments and so I sought the assistance of both an Osteopath and a Running Coach. Whilst this may seem excessive I am quite determined that I will be finishing this Marathon so I will enlist every strategy possible to get this event done.
The running coach has been building my strength over the last few weeks with a flexible plan that includes strength training in the gym and different running sessions to build up my endurance and speed. I still also see my personal trainer who trained me ready for Kilimanjaro.image
My family and I recently spent October half term on the Grand Union Canal travelling for the week on a narrowboat. The autumn days were simply stunning and I would get off the boat to complete my training each day. Every time my husband and my son joined me, running the first parts of the run up to a level my son could manage.
One weekend the three of us went on my usual Sunday run together and my son wanted simply to run two miles straight without having to stop. As we approached the two mile mark he started to get a stitch and really struggled with getting out of breath. My husband and I took a hand each and the three of us ran together until we reached two miles. My son was so proud of his achievement and I could hear how pleased he was as I carried on to finish the remainder of my run.
My most recent run was a little different. I was so cross that I was having such an issue running despite putting so much effort in. My son and husband ran with me, they made me smile when they joined in with my counting to four. It kept me going for the remainder of those miles despite the fact I was limping.image
Sadly I have had to take some time off training, I am a week into my required 2-3 weeks off. It is enormously frustrating but nothing that will mean I can’t run that Marathon I hope. More care is required for my joints and I will spend more time building the strength in my legs and hips.
Despite not being able to train right now I am excited about getting back into to it, I’ve started to look forward to those Sunday runs and I never thought that would happen!
On the 7th December I will be 20 weeks away from the London Marathon 2016.

Please help me reach my fundraising target and raise money for Arthritis Research Uk. Their great work helps people like myself get lucky enough to train for a Marathon. http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/CJGreen