Balloon Memories

My two brothers and I had a wonderful father who guided us into all sorts of adventures (with the amazing support of my mother also): scouting, camping, boating, fishing; lots of pets; and a safe suburban life surrounded by miles of woods.

But stressful memories can unfairly shine stronger than memories of pleasant, enriching experiences. Here is a silly one of mine:

I was probably 10 years old, and my younger brothers were 9 and 8. We’d spent a perfect day at Cedar Point Amusement Park, and Dad bought us all helium balloons. My mischievous brothers were careless with their balloons and let them fly. My Dad was kind and bought them new ones.

As we started to walk out of the park, I thought “Well, he bought them new ones, so I can play with mine, and if I lose it, he will get me one too.” Sure enough, I lost mine and whined, “Dad, I need one now too!” But the balloon stand was a long way back and we were right at the gate. “You lost yours intentionally; it’s too far to go back,” he said. So we left with only my brothers having balloons. Of all the great things my Dad did, why does my selfish brain insist on remembering this felt injustice? Of course, my Dad was right.

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Swearing on Christmas

This story is from when my brothers and I were still in elementary school.
Mom was a quiet, polite, well-loved, local elementary grade school teacher. It was Christmas and Mom was sitting in her bathrobe, quietly observing her three boys frantically tearing into their presents. My younger brother was sitting behind me playing with his new fishing rod while I excitedly unwrapped a new science kit.
Somehow that brother thought he could practice casting his rod in our small living room and accidentally whacked me in the head. “Shit,” I yelled in surprise. Without hesitation, my otherwise reserved mother yelled out, “Damn it, we don’t swear on Christmas!”. The irony was not lost on us boys, and still makes me smile.

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Stretching Your Ignorance

I find it incredibly valuable to expose myself to subjects I can barely understand. I do this by watching math and science videos far beyond my ability to comprehend. These explorations stretch my sense of ignorance. Though sometimes temptingly depressing, on good days they fill me with amazement and humility.

Awe and ignorance, held together, can enrich our openness. Together, they foster humility and wonder. I find that even exploring world history and politics can, when approached with humility, lead to greater openness. Mastering knowledge provides utility, but dabbling in the unknown can lead to personal enrichment.

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Life as a Peregrination

Theologically inclined people look at a life as having a “purpose” or a “search for meaning”. I have always seen these thought-containers as mistakenly abstract, leading to similarly unnecessary dilemmas. See my posts on “The Limitations of Abstractions” and “Searchers vs. Explorers“.

Today I ran into the odd word “peregrination,” which means: “a long or meandering journey, especially one taken on foot or with a sense of exploration.” This word better captures an alternative intellectual container for understanding our lives.

Below is a chronological list of authors and ideas I’ve read that seem to align with my contrarian intuitions described above:

  • 1998 E.O. Wilson: “Consilience” (a biologist on the unity of knowledge)
  • 1970 John Conway: “The Game of Life” (a mathematician on celluar automata, see this)
  • 2002 Stephen Wolfram: “A New Kind of Science” (a mathematician/physicist on algorithmic reality)
  • 2006 Lee Smolin: “The Trouble with Physics” (a physicist writing on Loop Quantum Gravity Theory, opposing orthodox String Theory)
  • 2010 David Chapman: “Meaningness” (a computer scientist, neo-tantric Buddhist)
  • 2011 Norman Wildberger: “Insights into Mathematics” (Youtube channel: a mathematician aligned with finitism and allergic to abstractions like infinity. Also a Go player.)
  • 2022 Curt Jaimungal: “Theories of Everything” (Youtube channel: a mathematician/physicist)

I ran into the last two, Wildberger and Jaimungal, this last week, thus kindling this post. Whether these authors’ thoughts are congruent with one another, or whether I fully agree with them — or even understand them — I know not, for I am only a playful peregrinationist.
Your thoughts?

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“Of Two Minds”: Its Origin and Deeper Meaning

I post on “Many-Selves” repeatedly in this blog. See my index here.
I wish people could listen to and acknowledge their many selves when approaching politics.

The expression “I have two minds on that issue” hints at my understand of self. I gave ChatGPT an assignment to right a 300 word essay on “of two minds” using insights I felt are important.
I agree with its output. Readers, after reading its below essay, please tell me incidents when you strongly noticed your multiple minds:

The phrase “of two minds”—often used to express indecision or internal conflict—originates from a long tradition of describing human thought as divided. While it is commonly associated with phrases like “in two minds” in British English or “having mixed feelings”, its deeper roots lie in ancient and philosophical ideas about the nature of the self.

The idea of the mind as a single, unified entity is a relatively modern assumption. Classical thinkers like Plato described human reason as being in tension with desires and emotions, famously likening the soul to a chariot pulled by two opposing horses. Shakespeare also played with this concept, having characters voice internal conflicts as if two forces were at war within them. The English phrase likely solidified in the 19th century, when psychological introspection gained popularity, allowing people to more explicitly describe internal contradictions.

Beyond metaphor, modern neuroscience suggests that being “of two minds” is not just a poetic notion—it reflects the actual architecture of the brain. The left and right hemispheres process information differently, often competing in subtle ways. More significantly, the brain is composed of modular systems, meaning different networks can generate conflicting impulses, from instinctive emotional reactions to rational analysis. Far from having a single, fixed identity, human cognition is a dynamic interplay of competing influences.

Thus, to be “of two minds” is not a flaw but an intrinsic part of human nature. It reflects the fluidity of identity and decision-making, challenging the illusion that we are always singular and consistent in our thoughts. In this way, both language and science converge to affirm that indecision is not just hesitation—it is the mind in dialogue with itself.

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Impossible Silence

I rise much earlier than my wife, starting my day with coffee trying to stay as quiet as possible so that I don’t wake my sweetheart but I am often amazed at the tenaciousness of noise. For instance, I can close a cupboard almost silently, but not the microwave door. I can walk on our floors almost silently but I can not set down a metal spoon on the counter without some noise. It haunts me how impossible silence is at times.

Reader: Has this ever stood out to you? I challenge you to see what sounds are almost impossible to avoid in your day even when you try and tell us in the comments.

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Mortality & Polish

During the early COVID years I was laid off for a short time. With my new free time I decided to experiment with teaching English online. I have enjoyed it so much that I still teach currently, albeit with only four students, whereas before I had a dozen or so.

All my current students have been with me for three or four years, so I know them all quite well: a Japanese nurse, a Turkish data scientist, an Iranian IT business guy and a Polish professor of philosophy at a Catholic University. The professor is a brilliant, kind fellow with a deep knowledge of history, culture and politics. Inspired by his stories of Poland over the past three years and his open invitation, I am hoping one day to visit him in Poland.

When I visit countries for any length of time, I try to study the language a bit. My wife and I spent many months studying Spanish to help us in our past travels to Puerto Rico, Spain and Costa Rica. Heck, I even spent several weeks using a Pimsleur course to help me learn some Icelandic for our Iceland trip – if anything, it helped with reading signs and saying “hello”(góðan daginn).

Polish, being a Slavic language, differs significantly from the Germanic (German and Icelandic), the Romance (French and Spanish) and the Indic (Urdu and Hindi) languages that I’ve studied within the Indo-European language group. And as I’ve read about Polish phonetics, its complex grammar and its rich vocabulary I realized how daunting it would be for me to attempt to learn Polish now at nearly 70 years old. This hesitation is not something I’ve had with other languages and I realized it comes from realizing my mortality.

Oddly, this realization is not a sad realization, but instead, it is a curious and fun insight. “Fun” in that I am thankful for all the awe-filled times I have had without a sense of limit. Mind you, after our upcoming trip to Japan, I hope (Insha’Allah) to dabble in Polish even with my limitations. Ah, to play in new areas of mind has always been a joy for me.

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Classic Male Ethos

In the 4th Chapter of  Oliver’s course on Islam  he calls the common ethos in the Middle East at Muhammad’s time “Epic” Ethos. This ethos is what Muhammad had to address while uniting Arab tribes an it continued to inform Islam as it spread. The following is a compilations of answers to several questions I asked from Pi.ai (one of many AI now available).

“Epic” here refers to a specific genre of literature that is characterized by long, narrative poems that celebrate the heroic deeds and adventures of a particular hero or group of heroes. Examples of epic literature include the Iliad and Odyssey of Homer.

And “Ethos” refers to the set of values, beliefs, and attitudes that are associated with a particular group of people or society. Ethos can be seen as the moral or ethical framework that guides a group’s behavior, and can be expressed through their art, literature, customs, and social norms.

For millennia, and continuing today, the ethos of males all over the word has been “Epic Ethos” and thus it is perhaps better to call these male ethical frameworks as “Classic Male Ethos”.

These values typically include Heroism, Loyalty, Courage, Destiny and Honor found in the Greek Epics (long stories):

  • Heroism: Epic literature often celebrates the bravery and achievements of individual heroes, such as Achilles or Odysseus, who are willing to risk their lives for glory and honor.
  • Loyalty: Epic heroes are expected to show loyalty to their comrades, their families, and their communities, and to place the needs of the group above their own personal desires.
  • Courage: Epic literature often emphasizes the importance of courage in the face of danger or adversity, and celebrates heroes who are willing to fight against overwhelming odds.
  • Destiny: Epic heroes are often seen as fulfilling a larger destiny or purpose, and their actions are often guided by the will of the gods or fate.
  • Honor: Epic heroes are expected to behave honorably and ethically, and to adhere to a strict code of conduct that emphasizes honesty, integrity, and respect for others.

But similar classic literature all over the world are similar:

Scandinavian literature:

  • The Icelandic sagas, such as Egil’s Saga or Njal’s Saga, celebrate the heroism and honor of Viking warriors and emphasize the importance of loyalty to one’s kin and community.
  • The Eddas, which are collections of Norse myths and legends, also celebrate the courage and strength of the gods and heroes, and emphasize the role of fate and destiny in shaping the course of events.

Arabian literature:

  • The epic poem Sirat Bani Hilal, which was composed in the 10th century, celebrates the heroism and bravery of the Bedouin tribes of Arabia and emphasizes the importance of loyalty, courage, and honor in battle.
  • The epic poem Antarah ibn Shaddad, which was composed in the 6th century, also celebrates the courage and strength of a Bedouin hero and emphasizes the importance of loyalty to one’s tribe and community.

The Arabic term that is commonly used to describe the values and beliefs associated with epic literature and heroic behavior is “al-futuwwa” (الفتوّة). This term is often translated as “chivalry” or “nobility,” and refers to a code of honor and conduct that emphasizes bravery, loyalty, generosity, and hospitality.

Al-futuwwa was a key concept in the literature and culture of medieval Arabia, and was associated with the Bedouin tribes who lived in the desert regions of the Arabian Peninsula. These tribes valued individual heroism and bravery, and placed a strong emphasis on loyalty to one’s tribe and community.

In Arabic literature, al-futuwwa was often embodied by the figure of the “fata” (فتى), or “young man,” who was expected to display courage, honor, and loyalty in battle and in his interactions with others. The fata was also expected to be generous and hospitable to guests, and to show respect to elders and leaders within his community.

In Farsi (Persian) literature, the concept of chivalry and heroic behavior is often referred to as “javanmardi” (جوانمردی), which translates roughly to “young manliness” or “youthful vigor.” Like al-futuwwa in Arabic, javanmardi is associated with a code of honor and conduct that emphasizes bravery, loyalty, generosity, and hospitality.

Javanmardi was a key concept in the literature and culture of medieval Persia, and was associated with the knightly class of warriors known as the “futuwwat” (فتوّات), who were expected to display these virtues in battle and in their daily lives.

     In Farsi (Persian) literature, the concept of chivalry and heroic behavior is often referred to as “javanmardi” (جوانمردی), which translates roughly to “young manliness” or “youthful vigor.” Like al-futuwwa in Arabic, javanmardi is associated with a code of honor and conduct that emphasizes bravery, loyalty, generosity, and hospitality.

     Javanmardi was a key concept in the literature and culture of medieval Persia, and was associated with the knightly class of warriors known as the “futuwwat” (فتوّات), who were expected to display these virtues in battle and in their daily lives.

In Farsi literature, javanmardi was often personified by the figure of the “pahlavan” (پهلوان), or “hero,” who was expected to display courage, strength, and honor in his actions and interactions with others. The pahlavan was also expected to be a skilled warrior, poet, and musician, and to uphold the values of chivalry and nobility in all aspects of his life.

     Japanese and Chinese history are also replete with Epic Ethos.  In Chinese literature we have The Classic of Filial Piety (4th century BCE) and The Three Kingdoms, a novel of the 14th-century.  In Japan we have The Tale of the Heike which is  13th-century epic poem tells the story of the struggle for power between two rival clans in medieval Japan and The Book of Five Rings (written by the legendary samurai Miyamoto Musashi in the 17th century).

    So we can see that these classic male ethics inform the cultures and religions of the whole planet.  Heroism, Loyalty, Courage, Destiny and Honor seem to live naturally in male mentality and was crucial in the spread of not only Islam but also many other male cultures.

Question for readers: What are the pros and cons of “Classic Male Ethos”?  

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Complex Systems & the Appeal of Contrary Views

I have variously been labeled a contrarian, an amanojaku and a devil’s advocate. Indeed my intellectual history has enjoyed embracing incompatible views. But one consistent view I have had is the mathematical perspective of complex systems, unfortunately, in America this was originally poorly called “Chaos Theory”. “Unfortunately” because such systems are not “chaotic” though they can be surprising.

Complex systems are unpredictable. Simple models to illustrate this are cellular automatons which have been explored famously by John Conway and Stephen Wolfram. The interactions of multiple systems — each reacting to each other — leads to unpredictable (often startling) outcomes. Everything from Biology to History and Politics are indeed such systems.

So, for my curious mind, understanding the appeals and revulsions of contrary systems helps me envision the cornucopia of possible outcomes even if not helping me form convicted personal preferences. It is openness to which I am more attracted than conviction. I understand that this is not a common approach to ideas or ideologies. Perhaps my oddity is best explained by my rheostatic OCEAN temperament settings .

This morning I read the anti-liberal views of Carl Schmitt as I explore the neo-monarchists and the Tech Right here in the US. In contraposition to this I also watched a fascinating interview with Slavoj Zizek. These are contrarian views are alive on our planet today. I wonder how our world (a complex system) will play out?

Two of my previous posts on cellular automaton & complex systems:

  1. Randomness Becomes Amazing (04/2009)
  2. Conway’s Game of Life (07/2013)

Question to readers: Tell us a time you’ve enthusiastically explored contrary positions by seeking out the best sympathetic writings in both areas.

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Oral vs Written Aesthetics

This post is a reflection linking: (1) my reading of Oliver’s course on Islam (2) recent explorations of the psychology of inner speech and (3) Donald Trump’s speeches:

(1) The Qur’an: Reading books on Islam by both muslims and non-muslims we find that both groups agree on the unique attractiveness of the Qur’an heard orally vs merely reading the written version. “Recite” (“iqra!“) was the command from the Angel Gabriel to Muhammad upon giving the messages (“āyāt” or “signs”) from the God (“al-ilāh”). “Recite!”, not “write this down”. Muhammad did not receive inscriptions like Moses’ stone tablets or Joseph Smith’s golden plates, instead he received and repeated memorizable, intonations to be chanted for centuries – resonance, rhyme, vibrance and emotions that silent written forms can not capture. And like poetry, the same impact the original words is next to impossible to translate into a language other than the original (here, classic Arabic). Language evolved orally for thousands of years well before the written form emerged.

(2) Inner Voices: People vary in their ability of self-talk — our inner voice(s) — but all of us have it. It can often give the mysterious feeling when we are alone of someone or something being with us. (see Ben Alderson-Day’s book “Presence“). Illustrating a hint of this, I have written about that inner voice in my post on Endurance Prayer and in Death Rock and its sequel Debunking Death Rock.

(3) Donald Trump: Donald Trump has a great skill of moving his audience with his oral aesthetics, not just his rhetoric — but they are connected. If his followers were to read transcriptions of his speeches they would not be nearly as moved as when hearing his orations.

Words are powerful but more so oral than written words.

Question to readers: In the comments, tell us about your inner voice(s).

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