“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

The first rain after a long draught gets people talking about cozy things. Being with others, being physically close to others, going out in groups, staying in with someone. Sharing affection. Cold weather seems to always entail groups and partnerships.

What about when those groups and partnerships are missing from the tableau? The other night I was sitting in my apartment with my lanterns on, some incense burning, and some good reading material. The rain was trickling outside my window. The moment was perfect.

For once in my life, I didn’t have my normal thought: “This moment is so beautiful, but it would be better if someone was here to share it with me.” I was completely at peace, enjoying the presence of my own heart and mind.

This might not seem like a huge “Eureka!” moment, but it was for me.

I grew up an only child, so I’ve always craved that group interaction and the comfort of crowds. I made friends easily and was sometimes accused of serial monogamy; I was rarely single for longer than six months. I always felt surrounded—and by being surrounded, I felt protected.

Three months ago, however, I quit a job that made me unhappy and a relationship that was going nowhere, which had filled most of my time. I was face to face with myself in a frightening and jolting pause. I no longer had the noise of others to fill my silences.

Friends advised me to go out, work out, or find someone else. I did all three, sometimes in excess.

It alleviated my pain for a brief time. But I still felt hopeless, directionless. I took the long way in realizing something important: I needed to fall back in love with myself, which meant getting to know myself again, apart from the influences of everything else in my life.

I had spent so much time being something for others, filling my life with adaptation, that I had forgotten what it was like to be me.

I started journaling. I meditated for fifteen minutes each day. I forced myself to do something I hadn’t done in years: spend time alone, once a week, resisting the urge to text or e-mail. I purposely blocked out the static I had surrounded myself with for so long.

It wasn’t exactly easy. I truly believe that we need others. No matter what anybody says, we receive fulfillment from the interaction, reassurance, and influence of others.

My problem was that without all of this, I didn’t know who I really was, and admitting that meant that some serious reconstruction had to be underway.

My self-confidence inched its way back to me as I recaptured things I liked, wrote down my thoughts, and defined what my dreams and boundaries were. My inner self began to emerge, little by little.

In that process, I learned that while relationships complement our identities, it’s vital to form them from a sacred space within, or else that complementarity is just veiled dependency.

This renewed approach wasn’t just a brief answer to a state of crisis, however. It’s the way I’ve chosen to live my life. The concrete rules I made for myself were:

1. Think before deciding to do something.

Before automatically saying yes, ask yourself if it’s something you really want to be doing, and why.

2. Don’t cancel on old plans because new, seemingly more exciting plans come up.

Staying consistent is necessary to defining yourself, even if the lure of adventure seems to place consistency on the backburner sometimes. Yes, you want to stay impulsive and spontaneous, but you can balance that spirit of adventure with being reliable and resolute.

3. Take time to know yourself.

List what makes you feel good. List what kind of friend you want to be. List what you want to achieve in the next five years, no matter how small or grandiose. These things may change, according with how you change, but at least you can track that progression on paper, versus abstractly thinking about everything and getting lost in an ocean of questions and doubts.

4. This slightly contradicts my first rule, but let’s not confuse alone time with cooping yourself up at your place and shutting the world out.

Of course, it’ll always be easier to stay in the comfort of your living room with a meal and a movie. That can be good for you on some nights. But alone time is just one facet of connection with yourself.

Your next steps are to use what you learn on your own and then apply that to interaction out in your world. When you commit to going somewhere, doing something you’ve never tried, being out and about, you never know who you’ll meet, what you’ll see, and what small moments of illumination you’ll encounter.

These moments can bring you closer to who you are and what you want if you’ve learned to nurture your independence and identity first. So, maybe this rule isn’t a contradiction to number one; it’s the complement to it.

5. Allow some space for you and the ones you love.

She may be your best friend, or he may be the love of your life, or she may be a doting mother, but everyone needs time alone. We need it to recharge, to evaluate our choices, and to rest our minds.

It’s okay to not be joined at the hip with people you might wish you were joined at the hip with.

I’m still disoriented from having a long-term job and a partner, and now being single and job-searching.

The detachment process is sluggish. And, as life goes on and we invest ourselves more into each new venture, that detachment doesn’t get any easier.

Time makes us more afraid to leap into the unknown yet again, causing us to deny dissatisfaction and emptiness. But we owe it to ourselves to try.

It won’t always be easy to live for myself; I know that. It might be lonely and unsteadying.

But if I can enjoy a rainy night in the satisfaction of my own company, then I’m happy, because it means I’m strongly connected the one person who can fulfill me the most.

Nights of agony
Days without a penny
But they Say
I’ve succeeded out of the blue

Hours without water
Days without food
Nothing I did fetched me good.
Efforts in vain
Nothing but pain
Yet I fought which no one knew
But they cry
I’ve come this far out of blue.

I wish they’d know
They’d seen me grow
Only then would they realize
That success demands a price
I made my hay
Coz I was ready to pay
But still they say
I’ve been famous out of the blue.

I wish
To them I could talk
Their brains I’d mock

Kailash Satyarthi, born January 11, 1954, lives in New Delhi. He has been active in the movement against child labour since the 1990s and has freed over 80,000 children from various forms of servitude and helped in successful rehabilitation through his organization, Bachpan Bachao Andolan.

Satyarthi has argued that child labour perpetuates poverty, unemployment, illiteracy and population growth.

Satyarthi has been involved with the Global March Against Child Labor and its international advocacy body, the International Center on Child Labor and Education (ICCLE) – a global coalition of NGOs, teachers and trades unionists, and also the Global Campaign for Education.

Satyarthi is also credited with establishing Goodweave as the first voluntary labelling, monitoring and certification system of rugs manufactured without the use of child-labour in South Asia.

He has helped enactment and adoption of national and international legislations, treaties and conventions as well as the constitutional amendment on child labour and education.

The engineer-turned-activist

Kailash, who was born in Vidisha in Madhya Pradesh, has a degree in electrical engineering and a post-graduate diploma in high-voltage engineering.

After teaching engineering in a college in Bhopal for a few years, Kailash decided to work for social change following his experiences as a student who saw the lot of less priovilegded from close quarters. Intially, he started a book bank for poor students who could not afford textbooks which got huge support.

Today, his family includes his wife, daughter, son and a daughter in-law colleagues and a number of of children that his organisation has rescued.

The problem and his fight

Child labour makes up one quarter of the unskilled labour force in the organised and unorganised sectors of South Asia. According to reports, of India’s 140 million working children, 55 million are in servitude and 10 million are bonded slaves to their employers.

Kailash’s work is based on three major strategic thrusts – he organises raids to identify and free bonded children; tries rehabilitate them by providing vocational training and and works with the media and other groups to build national and international consumer resistance.

Read more at: http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/who-is-kailash-satyarthi/1/395118.html

Great leaders are often defined not by their beliefs, but by how they react when those beliefs are tested to the limit.

In the case of the Pakistani girl activist Malala Yousafzai, it’s likely historians will focus on the horrific incident one year ago this week when she was shot in the head as she made her way home on the school bus.

In the eyes of the world, that was the defining moment in her fight for education – transforming her from an unknown schoolgirl to a global figurehead in the struggle against tyranny and oppression.

Yet the truly remarkable thing about Malala is just how little that brutal attack by the Taliban has changed her.

TALIBAN SHOOTING

Malala was an outstanding young lady long before that day in October 2012.

Encouraged by her father, a headteacher and anti-Taliban campaigner, Malala began speaking out about girls’ education aged just 11. That would be unusual in most societies, but especially in one where girls are often undervalued.

In 2008 she spoke at local press club meeting, telling the gathered journalists: “How dare the Taliban take away my basic right to education?”

Her words were remarkable, not only for their clarity and intelligence, but also for their fearlessness.

Just weeks earlier, the Taliban had taken control of the Swat Valley where Malala lived and issued an edict banning girls from attending school. Most people retreated in fear, but Malala thrust herself into the spotlight to protest against the injustice.

After the press club speech she made TV news appearances in both Pakistan and the United States. She also began writing an online diary for the BBC.

Clearly, Malala wanted to be heard. It’s a tragedy that she had to be shot before the world truly listened.

DAUGHTER OF THE UN

The attack happened just two days before the first-ever International Day of the Girl (IDG) last October.

Today, on IDG 2013, it’s clear that Malala has put girls at the centre of the debate about global development and justice.

The girl whose struggle was once ignored now has regular audiences with presidents, monarchs and Hollywood A-listers. She’s been named one of the 10 most influential people in the world (higher even than Barack Obama) called “a symbol of hope, a daughter of the United Nations” by the UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon and just missed out on the Nobel Peace Prize at the announcement today.

The youngest ever Nobel Peace Prize winner, the journalist Tawakkol Karman, was 32 when she won it. Malala’s nomination at just 16 is an incredible achievement.

Her profile has been transformed, but her focus and determination are the same as they ever were. “My goal is not to get a Nobel Peace Prize, it is to get peace,” she told the BBC this week.

MILLENNIUM DEVELOPMENT GOALS

Progress towards that goal of peace has been rapid.

Malala’s education petition received more than three million signatures, and a remarkable speech at the UN on her 16th birthday in July prompted Ban Ki-moon to recommit to Millennium Development Goal 2 – universal primary education – through the Global Education First Initiative. “One child, one teacher, one book and one pen can change the world,” she told the UN.

Malala is now attending school in Birmingham, England. Her determination to ensure all girls get an education hasn’t faltered even for a moment. Two weeks ago she launched the Malala Fund, which will support 40 Pakistani girls through school. “After a brutal attempt to silence her voice, it grew louder, and she more resolute,” said actress and UN special envoy Angelina Jolie at the launch.

“She is powerful, but she is also a sweet, creative, loving little girl who wants to help others. Her goal is progress, not notoriety,” added Jolie.

GIRL DECLARATION

Malala’s journey from Pakistani school to the floor of the United Nations demonstrates the power of giving girls a voice. “Because of Malala there is a public understanding that something is wrong and has got to be done,” said former UK prime minister Gordon Brown.

The global community now owes it to her to make sure no other girl has to endure such a horrific ordeal in order to be heard.

The Girl Declaration has been created to give girls like Malala all over the world a voice, and we are honoured that Malala herself has signed it.

Today the Declaration will be handed over to the UN. They need to read it, support it and use it to put girls at the heart of global development policy. It’s the least that Malala – and the 250 million girls living in poverty – deserves.

At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers.

Then her husband got an
idea. He turned to the crowd of the guests and said, “Will everyone from the bride’s side of the family stand up please?…

About 20 people stood.

Then he asked, “Will everyone from the groom’s side of the family stand up please?”

About 25 people stood up.

Then he smiled and said, “Will everyone who stood please LEAVE… This is a ‘Birthday Party’!!!”