Everything that I feel are like the waves ;
Touches me, embraces me, keeps feeding me exactly what I should feel.
But, it stays short, then gently withdraws before I could dive into the water.
I could no longer home the sea where I dwelt and deeply felt.
I no longer seek the waves as they come back.
Rather, I have become a boat, solitude along the shore,
Rusting out, wave after wave.
Winter, my favorite season just bloomed white. You are in the warmth of a hug always. The wool, scarf and gloves do the job, but you feel pampered by the season itself. As I got out of my bed, I whispered to myself, “emotional hangover again!”. The icy air had blurred my window from out. It looked even blurred while I struggled to adjust my vision to notice the actual frost.
Winter always had this mild brightness that my emotional hangover can bare. I suddenly wanted to draw on the window. May be I can gulp my sorrow for a moment there.
Before I could reach, my phone buzzed. I came back to answer it, though I was unsure of answering.
I couldn’t recognize the number, still I took up the call.
“Hello?”
I didn’t hear anything back.
“Maya!? “
My heart thudded for no reason.
A familiar voice.
The phone had disconnected. My room became dark. The frost on the window grew that the window appeared snow built. I can never draw again.
I began to froze as if the voice from the call cast a spell on me.
I was covered with ice! Frozen!
An ice statue perfectly carved! I couldn’t move or feel or cry or talk! It wasn’t hurting me either.
But, I can THINK !!! Am I still alive!?
Who called me? Why did I pick up the call when I didn’t want to!
I didn’t want to end my life!
I started to think of all the persons who were the bricks of my life.
Whom I even ignored, without whom I wanted to handle this all alone!
I thought I would die only of growing cells! This definitely was not a side effect of cancer! I began to think with all my brain, which indeed was away from the growth.
I began to think about most cherished memories. My first pet, the time me and Sia laughed during the choir on stage :’), the time I first kissed Vir, the first far away destination that I took my parents to !
As I slid through the pictures that my brain unfurled, I failed to realize that the ice was melting.
The room was lightening, the window back to its blurred state. I quickly realized that I shouldn’t live in a nut and in pain. I wanted to fly even if I had broken wings. Until, I could. I leaped towards the window, ready to fly. I loved the winter deeper than ever. I now knew, what I wanted to draw. I drew a heart that could melt anytime.
The air was in love with the water.
Ohh, how merry air was when water vaporized.
For it always loved the unstability of the water.
Thankful to the sun, awaited the air to meet its vapour love.
Little by little, did they mingle and form clouds.
Day by day, heavy did their love become.
Crazier their love, heavier they became.
They were one. One heavy unstable cloud.
Reaching the criticality of their love, did they pour down one dark night.
Drops too thick as close they were.
Love showered the night in silence and darkness.
Visible they were made by the lightning.
Audible they were made by the thunder.
That night witnessed a love ceremony.
A ceremony of transformation of an unstable love.
In digitized and modern India
Where many Indians raised their hands beyond reach,
People of 64 thousand villages praised the soil.
People with characteristics of a tree.
Noble by profession, beautiful they became drenching in sun.
Making tempo from planting to weeding,
Then thunder and lightning joined their groove
Adding another track to nature’s album
Noble, they lived on few pennies
Content with cattle and merry family.
People, rain, and the sun,
the deathly hallows, they believed.
People became the synonym of narcissists.
Self-adulterated, did they spoil the soil with selfishness.
Bearing taller and stronger cement vegetation,
Soil evidenced the transformation of nobles to nomads.
Petrified by falsely authorized people,
Nomads reached another soil.
After all, the soil was all they knew.
With certain mere discounts and freebies,
they lived the same soil routine.
No happy rhythm;
Cries became the new routine.
Though they feared people,
Still were believers of rain and sun.
Sun became too generous.
Rain became stingy,
And it partnered with floods and storms.
Having back stabbed by all,
Helpless nobles gave up their lives in their praised-soil.
Placing the soul of India halfway to death.
Nonrealizers of the ugly truth still dream for the fancy pink tree,
Which is half uprooted already.
© Priyanka.
The physical changes when teen, had me confused too
Yet I had the answers to clear
The changes you brought to my heart
Took me long beyond the answers to feel and
Live thy pleasure of feminine
And To know that my heart
Had been trying to synchronize with yours
This lasting life of our love
Showed various transformations of me
I partnered myself with you in all the phases of it
All the necessities had you in them
Like an earth-old inseparable treaty
With a validity of forever existed between us
You gave the privilege of being a mother
By becoming my child
Where I would fall on knees for you widen your lovely eyes
I always keep you close to my heart
Yet quite far so the beats don’t disturb your innocent sleep
Yes that’s where you live close to my heart
In the day, I let you in
To play in the love garden I made for you
You are the prince of my heart
You rule my heart with love
Though thrice I gave the weapon to break it
You chose to love and destroyed the weapon I gave
And healed me with love
I also had the boon to be a child again
Where you became my world
And I run merrily in all your ways
You put pillows on the way to unhurt
And came to cuddle when I fell
Your anger characterized with love,
I fear, just as a streak of lightning
Grows fast and brightens, but short lives
Your conscious rains after the lightning
As you apologize, showers the world with loveticide
And I apologize for seeking the ways you told not to
Your anger, after all, leads to love rains
I would love to spend this stretch of forever with you
Composed of short and long hours
Hours too short as a wink of an eye when with you
And hours of infinite seconds when away from you
All the days let me wake up as you snuggle into ma warmth
All the nights let me fall asleep inside the counterpane of your arms
I would strive for a second or more at the verge of death,
To rest forever in the shade of your blurred silhouette
I had infinite love always and will,
Your love I cherish and your happy tears I earn
Yet are the bad days,
The days marked by seeing you sad
And the worst days marked by me reasoning them.
My mind is clogged with too many thoughts
And so the clouds hide my sun
It’s dusk always
Away from the light I add more thoughts
Hoping to reach light
It gets darker thought by thought
I’m tired, “Dusk is beautiful!”, I think.
I learn different shades of the dark
Relaxing with the laziness of “no more decisions”
Can I always admire the dusk?
I realize the instability of the dusk,
As anytime dusk can become tomb dark.
So with little light that is widespread
I cinch to give a comfortable try
For each try, a cloud absorbs darkness and pours
Or it just moves away
Both the ways, it becomes a shade lighter
Some even bring rainbows!
Now with my sun, I don’t settle with brightness.
I dare to face the sun burns.
His anger, just as a streak of lightning,
grows fast and brightens, but short lives.
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. – Friedrich Nietzsche
#Underneathme 