[We said we’ll still be friends] Part 1

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It’s Friday afternoon. The city footpath is always crowded with people rushing out from work to their destination at this time of the day.

As part of the city, I’m amongst the crowd waiting at the busiest intersection in the city to cross the road.

My watch says it’s 4:30pm. It’s Friday. I’m one of the many workers who leaves the office before 5pm on Friday afternoons. Leaving early has become one of the many undocumented work rules. After a long working week we’re ready to celebrate the weekend.

My destination is at a bar in the next block. I’m going to meet my fiance and my friends. It’s one of our regular get-together. But this one is going to be different. We’re going to go through some final detail for my upcoming wedding.

Getting married is almost every girl’s dream. I’m one of those girls.

I stared at the red light, as if I it will turn green with my looking at it. It seems to take forever to turn green.

It was then I noticed a familiar face at the other side of the road amongst the crowd who are waiting to cross the road.

Is it you?

It is you!

Breathing normally suddenly becomes a difficult task. My heart starts to thump wild. This is a feeling I haven’t had for a long time.

Yes, it’s you. It is you!

It’s been 10 years. 10 long years.

The last time I saw you, we were saying goodbye.

I remember I asked, ‘Will we still be friends?’

I’ve seen friends who are still friends after they broke up. I’ve also seen friends who became strangers. I didn’t know what we’ll become.

You grinned with assurance, ‘Of course.’

I tried to squeeze a smile and we had our last hug.

I remember I didn’t want to let go. I knew it was our last hug. It was our last closest encounter as boyfriend and girlfriend. We were going our separate paths hereafter.

But I finally had to release you.

‘Keep in touch.’ That was your last word before you left.

My vision blurred as watching your back disappeared into the crowd.

That was the last time I saw you.

There were endless nights I cried thinking about you. I thought I would never forget you. It was seeing you again at the other end of the road I realize I’ve not thought about you for quite a long time.

We did tried to keep our words to keep in touch. However it was just greetings on special days like Christmas, New Year and birthdays. Gradually these messages ceased. I can’t even remember when we stopped sending each other messages.

Things have changed over these years. I heard you got engaged. I’m about to get married. We have gone our separate ways.

From a distance I can see you have become more mature and there are more experiences in your eyes. However you are still the same good looking guy like when I first met you.

When did we first met?

According to you, I was running along the hallway. I bumped into you without apologizing. You thought I was rude.

Even till this day I have no recollection of that particular event.

[Sliding Doors] Another Double Date

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But as the night went on, the topic evolved around Ross and Mary’s common friends. Ross and I had only gone out for a few months and he was always busy. His only friend I’ve seen was Marcus and I was never comfortable with Marcus around. He always had this cold expression I didn’t know what to say to him.

Mary was somewhat better than her brother. She was not as cold and was friendlier. But I didn’t know how to deal with her. Maybe because she carried my boyfriend’s ex tag and I had never had to deal with situation like this.

Mary’s date also came from their circle of friends. From the conversation he liked her for years and finally took the courage to ask her out for a date.

I was left alone. I spent the rest of the night sipping my wine. Those little sips accumulates to quite something. I started to feel dizzy by the end of dinner.

When we were at the door, Mary took me from Ross’s arms, “She doesn’t look too well. I’ll look after her while waiting for you guys to get your cars.”

I didn’t want to. I tried to struggle out of her hands but she seemed concerned, “Don’t worry, I wont’ eat you.”

When Ross and her date went out of our sight, Mary released her hands. I almost lost my balance.

“I saw you left Ross’s place this afternoon.” Mary suddenly said.

I looked at her. I wasn’t sure if I heard nor understood what she said. Head ache and dizziness weren’t making me thinking properly.

“What are you trying to say?” I finally asked.

“You can’t give Ross what he wants.” She grinned.

That line sounded familiar. I heard it from somewhere but I couldn’t remember where I heard it from.

“What does he want?” I asked again.

“You see, you don’t even know what he wants.” She grinned wider. “No one knows him better than me.”

Cold wind suddenly brushed through. I felt the chill penetrated through me. I started to sober up.

It was then both car stopped before us.

Mary gave me a brief hug and whispered in my ear, “I can give him what you can’t give.” She then quickly yet gently pushed me away.

I stoned where I was. Memory brought me back to a few months ago. Someone gave me a fake hug and said the same line, “I can give him what you can’t give.”

It was Angie.

I gasped. I didn’t want to think what I was thinking. It gave me head ache.

Ross got of the car and came to me, “Are you alright?”

I looked at him. What did he want? What could Mary give him? What couldn’t I give? I want to ask him these questions, but I could do was moved my mouth but no words came out.

“Yes?” He knew I wanted to say something.

I shook my head.

“I won’t let you drink that much wine next time.” He said as he led me to the car.

We went back to Ross’s place.

As soon as he closed the door, I kissed him. It was an aggressive kiss and he took my initiative by surprise. He wanted to see what I was up to but I wouldn’t let him leave me. I kissed him as if it was the last kiss I could have from him. It wanted to hold on to him and wouldn’t let him go.

Of course I didn’t have his physical strength. He slightly pulled me away to see what I was up to. But I quickly found his lips again. He pushed me against the door and it happened right there. The atmosphere was reaching boiling point. It was moment when I felt I had him. It had never been so intense and passionate.

When it was over, he stared me into the eyes. “Now, can you tell me?”

“What do you want?” I finally took the courage to ask him.

He was puzzled, “What do I want?”

“What can Mary give you but I can’t?” I wanted to ask, but I didn’t and couldn’t ask. I could sense it could divide us and I didn’t want it to happen.

Instead, I quickly found an excuse, “I probably had too much drink tonight. I don’t know what I’m thinking.”
He smiled and kissed me, “Don’t drink too much next time. Let go clean up and sleep.”

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[Sliding Doors] Unexpected Meeting, Part 2

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It was Ross. I was shocked to see him. I didn’t expect to see him. I had mixed of emotions seeing him.

He returned not long after I left. It took him less than 15 minutes to drive here but it was more than an hour trip via public transport.

We stood there staring at each other for sometime.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He broke the silence and asked calmly.

By then I was even more regretful of what I did, but I didn’t want to admit it.

I didn’t know what to tell him. He would think I was making an issue out of nothing, which I probably was.

“I’m tired.” I avoided his question.

I wasn’t lying too. I didn’t have any food since breakfast, which was just a cup of tea, and I was really tired walking back from the station.

I walked passed him into the unit and towards my room. He closed the door behind me.

I greeted Erin as I walked passed. She was sitting in the lounge staring at her phone.

She had been there all morning, since received a picture message from Ryan’s phone. She was trying to figure out if it was from his phone or someone tried to fake sender’s number. She wanted to believe the latter.

She looked up briefly as acknowledgment and went back staring at her phone. It was a selfie of a woman lying in bed with Ryan in the background sounded asleep.

If I paid close attention I could probably tell something was bothering her. However I didn’t pay her any more attention and went straight into my room. I was dealing with my problem, which was probably non-existent but something I created.

Ross followed and shut the door behind us. I didn’t look at him. I also didn’t say a word because I didn’t know what to say.

He pulled my phone from his pocket and put it on the bedside table. “Next time, don’t leave without leaving a note, or your phone. I was worried when I couldn’t find you.”

I felt bad for doing what I did.

“If it’s about Mary… there’s nothing between Mary and I.” I heard him said. “If that’s what’s bothering you, I had already explained and I can only repeat the same line. There’s nothing between us.”

I turned around and looked at him apologetically.

“We have several projects at hand and they’re on tight schedule. I really want to get them over and done with before our holiday. I promised you a holiday and I want to spend a real holiday with you without worrying about work.”

He had already explained his busy schedule. I knew what I was up to when I decided to be with him.

“I’m sorry.” I finally whispered. I tried to waved away thoughts of comparing our current relationship with my previous unhappy one. Not only I regretted what I did, I felt stupid too.

He pulled me towards him and held onto me tightly. I held onto him back tightly. I felt like I almost lost him and it was good it to have him back.

Not long, my stomach started to grumble. I looked at him embarrassingly. I told him I didn’t have any food since breakfast.

He sighed and looked at his watch. “Let’s have dinner.”

When we left, Erin was busy working on her laptop. Or it appeared to me she was working.

I didn’t pay her much attention.

Ross took me to a restaurant we visit regularly. When a waiter came to serve us, we heard a voice behind us, “What a coincidence!”

We turned around. It was Mary and her date. It was a different date from previous night.

I felt like I was splashed with a bucket of cold water. I wanted to spend time alone with my boyfriend and I knew it wasn’t going to happen when Mary came up to us and suggested, “Why don’t we have dinner together?”

“Sure.” Ross agreed.

What could I say? I forced a smile.

The dinner wasn’t so bad when compared to previous night. Mary and Ross didn’t talk about work and we all were able to participate in conversations.

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[Sliding Doors] Unexpected meeting

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I was hoping someone buzzed the wrong button. The buzzed continued.

Ross kissed me on the forehead, “Let me get it.”

It was Mary.

She came in with a few folders in her hand. “I’m sorry to wake you up, but there are a few points in this contract that needs to be sorted out now.” I heard she said as Ross opened the door.

Ross spent all morning with Mary in the study. She patiently discussed every single point and Ross listened patiently and attentively.

I felt like an extra person.

The scene was familiar.

Angie used to turn up at our place unexpectedly, at anytime of the day. There were various reasons but most commonly about works they could be getting. They would then spend lengthy time going through scripts and rehearsing. My existence was totally ignored.

Annabelle used to query, “Are there really that many auditions? Are there that much work for the roles they’re getting?”

I didn’t think too much. Or I tried not to. I believed my then boy-friend was very talented and all he needed was a chance. Angie had many connections. I didn’t and couldn’t be the jealous girlfriend to wipe out his chance. I believe one day he would be a shiny star and stand on the Oscar stage waving his award like many big stars do.

I hated to think how must trust I put in them and how ugly it ended.

I tried to something to do to stop thinking about the past.

I didn’t want to watch TV nor listening to music as the noise might disrupt their meeting. I tried to tidy up the place although there’s nothing much to be done since his cleaner who worked there weekly had already done most of the jobs. Ross was rarely home to make a mess. I started to sort his music and movie collections and his magazines. I went to his wardrobe to see what I could do. I sorted his shirts by color from lightest to darkest.

Sorting. I was obsessed with sorting all morning.

When it was nearly lunch I went to check if they needed something to eat.

Mary checked her watch and said apologetically, “I’m so sorry to take your boyfriend away from you all these time. I better get going. We can discuss the rest on Monday.”

Ross said, “There are only a few points left. We might as well get it done.”

I suggested, “How about I make lunch. Would you stay for lunch, Mary? If you don’t mind my bad cooking.”

I was hoping Mary to refuse the offer, but she said, “Sure!”

They quickly went back to where they were. They didn’t see disappointment was written all over my face. I quietly left the room.

While I was in the middle of preparing food, Ross turned up. I knew he was going to say something I didn’t want to hear.

“Mary and I need to see Marcus. Don’t worry, it’s going to be a quick one. He’s nearby. We should be back soon.”

I couldn’t say a word and heard them left.

His definition of “soon” was different from my understanding of “soon”.

3 hour later, I was still sitting at the table staring at the food I made.

Vincent used to leave with Angie too, because “Something turned up.” He promised to return “soon”. It could take hours, or even overnight. I could probably tell something was wrong but I didn’t want to think about it.

I tried to call Annabelle while I was waiting for him to come back. She didn’t pick up her phone. It was strange that she didn’t pick up her phone but I was too upset to think about it.

What was the point of waiting not knowing when he would be back or if he would ever come back?

I left without leaving a note.

I started to regret my action when I was on the train. I didn’t want to leave. Ross was not Vincent. Mary couldn’t possibly be Angie. Why did I let my past haunt me? What did I put myself into?

I needed to talk to Annabelle. I tried to call Annabelle again, excepted that I couldn’t find my phone.

It wasn’t in my pocket. It wasn’t in my bag. I dumped everything out of my bag. My phone was nowhere in sight.

I then realized where the phone was. I tried to call Annabelle earlier and left it on the table.

I slowly picked up everything back into my bag.

I went home.

When I was about to plug the key into the keyhole, the door opened.

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[Sliding Doors] Double Dates

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Before we went our separate ways after the drink, Christie reminded us, “It’s picnic this Sunday. Candy will be there too.”

Candy. We haven’t seen her for ages.

Ben offered to walk Annabelle to her car. She didn’t dismiss the offer. The car park was a few blocks away and they were quiet throughout the walk, until she arrived at her car.

“I didn’t know you have a twin sister.” Ben finally broke the silence.

“There are a lot of me you don’t know about.” She said quietly.

“And you’re not prepared to let me know.”

Annabelle looked at Ben for a while, finally put out a long sigh. “Maybe.”

“You never want it to work.”

“Maybe.”

“Because there’s someone else?”

“No. There isn’t anyone. I just don’t want to get involved with anyone for the time being. I think I made it clear right from the start.”

He looked at her. He tried to understand her but realized she would never let him into her world.

Finally, he forced a smile out of his expression, “Excuse me.” He quickly turned and left.

Annabelle watched him slowly disappeared from her sight. He didn’t see that her eyes were welling and she tried to control herself from any further emotion. If she could she would call him, but she knew it was something she should not do.

“I’m sorry.” She barely made a sound.

At the same time I strolled back to the office to meet Ross. He sent me a message that he just came off a meeting.

Ross was already waiting for me outside the office building when I was a few meters away. However, I slowed down as I saw Mary came out of the building. She walked up to him to say something. She then looked at his tie and fixed it. She looked like the perfect wife assisting her husband to look his best.

I stopped right there. I didn’t know if I should move forward or backward.

The rumors that they were getting back continued to circulate around the office. I tried to ignore it especially when Ross had already briefly explained his previous relationship. However I was uncomfortable with what I saw.

She looked up and spotted me from a distance. She seemed to tell Ross that and Ross looked towards my direction. He walked up to me.

“Just in time.” He smiled as he held my hands. “We’re having dinner with Mary and her date. You don’t mind, do you?”

It seemed that it was already been discussed and I didn’t have room to object. I forced a smile and could only say, “Of course not.”

That seemed like the longest meal in my life.

Ross and Mary continue to discuss about the project they were working on throughout dinner, which left no room for interruption.

It was a double date dinner. They looked like a couple, and her date and I looked like we were on a blind date.

The scene was familiar.

When I was with Vincent, this scene had repeated many times. Angie would joined us for a double date with her date. However Vincent and Angie would spent the whole night talking about plays and performances. I was never interested in drama and hence there was no room for me to join in. Vincent and Angie looked like a couple and her date and I looked like we were on a blind date.

I tried to convince myself that the situations were different. Ross was a better person.

After dinner, Mary was apologetic to her date, “Sorry to talk about business all night and left you out. I just want to get things going.” She then looked at me, “Now you can have your boyfriend all to yourself for the rest of the night.”

That line sounded familiar too. Angie always said that after the dinner, “Now you can have your boyfriend all to yourself for the rest of the night.”

I didn’t have a bad feeling back then. But I had a bad feeling now.

Ross didn’t notice I was quieter. From his perspective, further explanation was unnecessary since he had already done his explanation.

I did have my boyfriend for the rest of the night.

Until the intercom buzzed early next morning.

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