View from the Back

I’m someone who doesn’t like receiving surprises or, worse still, surprise gifts. Blame for this predicament can be laid squarely at the feet of my parents, both great givers of excellent presents.

My mother never, ever bought cards or birthday or Christmas presents. However, if you were out with her and saw something you liked, she would treat you. This is what I have done for family and friends for the past 20 years or so. Friends’ children get money to put into their savings’ accounts. It’s never too early to become a saver.

My father, on the other hand, would buy presents as and when he saw them and would give them to you at birthday, Christmas and other special times. He had the unenviable knack of knowing exactly what you wanted. He used to put a lot of thought and care into these gifts, and it showed.

Now, my beloved has tried his best, continually come up wanting, and is now excused from buying me anything. In almost 50 years of marriage, you can count on the fingers of one hand the great gifts he’s bought me. Strange when you consider he’s the person who should know me best……….

My two sisters are both thoughtful and generous gift givers though we’ve generally stopped buying one another birthday and Christmas gifts and defaulted to Mum-gifting mode. I should add that to the eternal disappointment of both my sisters, my brothers-in-law are no better gift givers than my OH.

So, obviously, I don’t (thankfully) receive many gifts. It’s now only from those who’ve enjoyed our hospitality or to thank me for something I’ve done for them. These gifts tend to be a bit of a curate’s egg. I love flowers but hate those multi-coloured bunches made up by florists, you know the ones I mean. Just a step up from those sad bunches sold in garage forecourts. I get a lot of these flowers from cycling events. The good thing about them is that they never last too long. I can plonk them in one of my many vases for a couple of days and then they’re on the Domaine’s compost heap. Recycled.

Then I have friends who for reasons best known only to themselves – goodness knows I’ve tried to dissuade them – buy me either chocolates or personal care items, such as scented candles, perfume, bubble bath etc

Why is it when buying chocolates people think the size of the box matters? It doesn’t. I would far rather have a small box of artisan chocolate, like those below, than a large box of something commercial.

And, why you would buy personal care items for someone you don’t know all that well, or don’t know what they actually use is beyond me. In any event these gifts end up in the “Unwanted Gifts Drawer.” Yes, I have a specific drawer for them and it’s quite sizeable. In years past these would end up in a charity tombola organised by my mother. My sister Lynn has taken over that mantle but the costs of shipping said items to the UK vastly outweighs their value.

Fortunately, there is another solution. Come Christmas time, France organises collections of gifts, particularly for children, but also for adults at the péages. So, I gratefully empty the drawer and deposit these in the collection boxes.

You might wonder what’s prompted this post? Well, the cycle club gifted me one of those bunches of flowers and a rucksack.  Now, my OH and I have quite a collection of rucksacks, big and small, mainly from cycling or triathlon events where we’ve been volunteers. We use these when travelling by plane in Europe to avoid paying any baggage fees. This particular one was for the most recent triathlon world championship in Nice and it’s really rather lovely.  So, no, it won’t be ending up in the charitable gift box.

Of course, no one is going to mistake me for a top triathlete  – no tattoos – but maybe I can claim to be world class in my age group!