Big Houses and Little People

SPOILERS for all three of the movies we watched this past weekend.


Martha Marcy May Marlene – This is a movie Beth put on our to-watch list several years ago, and we only just got around to seeing. Elizabeth Olsen plays a woman who escapes from a cult at the beginning, then goes to live with her sister and her husband in their spacious country house. She does a lot of things that are inappropriate, presumably without meaning to, and imagines that other people she sees are cult members. There are flashbacks to her time with the cult, during which she is ritually raped, told to kill a cat, and made to participate in a burglary where one of the other people kills the homeower. One problem I had is that there isn’t really that much to distinguish the flashbacks from the present day. You can usually tell because something disturbing happens, but not always right away. Or at least I couldn’t; maybe I’m just unobservant. After a nightmare about a guy from the cult, Martha accidentally kicks her brother-in-law down the stairs. I can identify with sometimes thrashing out when waking up from a bad dream, although it’s never been anywhere near that severe. The sister and brother-in-law decide to take her to a mental institution, but she thinks she sees a cult member on the way there, and it’s left open-ended whether she’s right this time. It’s disturbing in parts, but a little slow overall.


Anatomy of a Fall – This French film is about a married couple who are both writers, Sandra from Germany and Samuel from France, who live with their son Daniel in a chalet near Grenoble, so it’s another movie with just three people in an enormous house. She doesn’t speak much French and he’s not good with German, so they usually talk in English. Most of the other characters speak French, however, but for some reason the subtitles weren’t on by default, at least not on our viewing on Hulu. Samuel turns up dead after falling, and Sandra is a suspect. A lot comes out about their past, including that they fought a lot, she cheated on him a few times, and he had attempted suicide by overdosing on aspirin. Much of the film consists of the court proceedings, and I thought there was some weird prejudice when the prosecutor suggests she was hitting on a woman who was interviewing her because she was known to be bisexual. It certainly didn’t come across that way to me. Daniel’s testimony helps to get his mother acquitted, although he figures out what happened with his dad’s suicide attempt by feeding a bunch of aspirin to his guide dog. His court monitor saves the dog by inducing vomiting, but still, it’s messed up.


Leprechaun 2 – I’m not entirely sure why I chose to watch this, but I probably thought of it because the director of the first one died recently, although he didn’t return for this one. Warwick Davis does come back as the titular character. Besides, I kind of wanted to watch something goofy, since the other two movies we watched during the weekend were pretty dark. Beth asked why we were watching it on Martin Luther King weekend instead of St. Patrick’s Day, but I guess there are more movies in the series we can watch then if we want to. It actually takes place on St. Patrick’s, which the murderous, gold-obsessed Leprechaun claims is his birthday. I don’t know if this is supposed to be true of all leprechauns or just him. A guy in Ireland saves his daughter from becoming the Leprechaun’s bride, but 1000 years later, in the movie’s present day, he vows to marry her descendant, who’s played by the same actress and lives in Hollywood. Her boyfriend works for and lives with a sleazy, alcoholic con-artist named Morty, who gives ghost tours and sounds kind of like George Carlin. He manages to outwit the Leprechaun a few times, but eventually gives into greed and gets killed by having the killer’s gold transported inside his body. He has a book that describes leprechauns in a way that fits the movie’s lore more than any actual folk tales. The Leprechaun’s powers aren’t exactly clear, but he can teleport, levitate objects, and create illusions, at one point resulting in a kid’s head getting chopped apart by a fan when he thinks it’s a woman’s breasts. It does establish that the Leprechaun is weak against iron, which is a standard part of Celtic fairy lore. That does make me wonder what his car is made of, though. It’s not a great movie, but I wasn’t expecting it to be either. After this bombed at the box office, the next four were released direct to video.

Posted in Animals, Celtic, Cults, Dreams, Drugs, Health, Holidays, Humor, Magic, Monsters, Mythology, Prejudice, Relationships, Religion, VoVat Goes to the Movies | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sow What?


One myth I heard about recently on an episode of the Let’s Talk About Myths, Baby podcast from last year wasn’t Greek, but Sumerian. It involves the god Enki, a trickster who is in charge of fresh water. He meets the mother goddess Ninhursag in Dilmun, a place probably on the Persian Gulf, which is often associated with the Garden of Eden, as it’s a paradise where there are no predators, disease, or hardship. But it needs fresh water, so Ninhursag asks Enki to provide some, which he does. The two of them have sex, and nine days later she gives birth to Ninsar, a goddess associated with meat, who grows to adulthood in nine days as well. Enki impregnates her as well, the fact that she’s his daughter apparently not bothering him, and nine days later her daughter is Ninkurra, who might have been a goddess of sculpting and other crafts, although the name appears to have been used for several different deities. Enki then does the same thing with Ninkurra, and they have a daughter named Uttu, a goddess in charge of weaving, who might have been associated with spiders.


While incest generally seems not to have been considered taboo among gods, since their relationships tend to be based more on what they rule or represent than genetics even as they would have been understood thousands of years ago. Still, there’s definitely a creepy power dynamic at work here. Enki tries to have sex with Uttu (his daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter all at once) as well, but having been warned by Ninhursag about Enki’s ways, she demands that he give her a gift of cucumbers, apples, and grapes before anything can happen. All of these fruits are associated with sexuality, cucumbers because they’re phallic, apples because of the way the stem is positioned, and grapes because they’re similar to a cluster of eggs. They have sex, but with Ninhursag’s help, Uttu removes his semen from her body and scatters it on the ground. This leads to the growth of eight plants, and Enki, goaded on by his vizier Isimud, who seems to be involved in all of his terrible decisions, eats part of each plant. This makes him really sick, and while Ninhursag has the power to cure him, she stays out of this mess. She changes her mind after the other gods all grieve for him, and a fox is sent to petition her in return for a promise of honor by Enki’s brother Enlil. Ninhursag finally shows up and removes the pain from his eight affected body parts, resulting in the birth of eight new gods. These are Abu from the top of his head, Ninsikili from his hair, Ningiriutud from his nose, Ninsaki from his mouth, Nanshe from his throat, Azimua from his arm, Ninti from his ribs, and Ensag from his side. The names of these gods are all plays on the parts they come from. As far as what these newborn deities were associated with, from what I’ve found online, Abu was the god of plants, Ninsikii seems to have something to do with copper, Ningriutud is a healing goddess, Ninaksi is goddess of beer, Nanshe is in charge of justice and aquatic animals, Azimua might also be a healer, Ninti is the goddess of life, and Ensag is a fertility deity.


Samuel Noah Kramer has noted that Ninti’s name is a pun on how ti can mean both “rib” and “life.” In Genesis, Eve’s name also means “life,” and she’s made from Adam’s rib. In Hebrew, the word “rib” isn’t at all similar, but Kramer suggests that the Adam and Eve story might have been based on the Enki tale with the wordplay being lost in translation, as pretty much all of it is when translated into non-Semitic languages. Okay, I guess the Babylon/babble connection still works in English. The Sumerian myth also specifically mentions apples, which the Eden one does not.


Enki and Ninhursag also show up together in another myth, although there she’s called Ninmah. Here, the two of them work together to make humans out of clay, specifically so they can do labor in place of the gods. They’re assisted by Ninhursag’s seven attendants, goddesses of childbirth. They then have a competition, with Ninhursag making people with various disabilities, and Enki finding ways to make them useful in society. For instance, he gives a blind man the gift of music, and proposes that a person with no genitals could be a court eunuch.

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Whispered Epitaphs and Laughing Gas Come Right Before the Fall

I usually know when a musical artist I like is putting out new material, due to email lists and all that. Sometimes I miss something entirely, though, and that seems to be the case with everything Nellie McKay put out in the past few years. There isn’t that much, but there was an EP in 2019, an album of original material in 2023, and a demo collection from this year. I’ve now had a chance to listen to all three of them, so here are some thoughts.


Bagatelles – This EP is another collection of covers of old songs, mostly fairly light in mood, accompanied by piano or ukulele. Her take on “How About You” mentions Walters Huston and Brennan as attractive people. She does a fun version of “The Best Things in Life Are Free,” ending with a shout of “health care for everyone!” And I guess she’s now covered two Hoagy Carmichael songs with “lazy” in the title, and “Up a Lazy River” is similar to the name of one of her original songs. “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” is accompanied by a Theremin, and ends with a clip of something I don’t recognize, but seems to acknowledge the song’s problematic history. And “Accentuate the Positive” is always enjoyable.


Hey Guys, Watch This – This was Nellie’s first album of originals in a long time, and it has more of a country feel than her other work, recorded in West Virginia with a band called the Carpenter Ants playing throughout. The first track, “The Drinking Song,” has her cat Roger meowing at the beginning. “Ba Dum Bump” is a pretty dark, melancholy one. “Forever Home” is a pleasant listen with an engaging guitar part. “The Party Song” is a bit of satire on the American celebratory approach to the aftermath of war, often glossing over the atrocities. I like the organ and fiddle combination on that one. “Did I Catch You Dreaming” is quite catchy, driven by steel guitar, fiddle, and piano. “Lali” has a very similar sound to the songs Nellie covered on the EP. The closer, “Make a Wish,” is a weird song about a violent revenge fantasy about a young Black girl who wants to be a serial killer. It’s along the lines of some of her early work, with rapid-pace lyrics laced with sarcasm, acknowledging societal prejudice while mocking the idea of repaying violence with more violence.


Gee Whiz: The Get Away from Me Demos – As you might expect, these demos are quieter and more sparse than the completed songs, usually just Nellie by herself except for some drums. A lot of the amusing touches aren’t yet present, but there’s also some noodling that was later removed. “David” seems faster than the finished version. And Janet Reno hasn’t yet made it into “Sari,” on which she uses a whiny reading instead of an angry one on some lines. “Clonie” has some double vocals during the spoken part, and while it makes sense with the theme of the song, I can understand why it was cut out. It also has demos of three unreleased songs, and “Stop Where You Are” is rather catchy.

I’m going to be seeing Nellie live next week, so I’m sure it was a good idea to catch up on her output.

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Another Day Older and Deeper in Debt


Clockwork Boys, by T. Kingfisher – This is the first book the author wrote in what became known as the World of the White Rat. Part of her goal in writing it was to counteract how paladins often appear in fiction. Caliban, a former paladin in the service of the Dreaming God, is possessed by a demon due to an exorcism gone wrong, and has killed a bunch of people. He joins a group of criminals sent out to investigate the giant mechanical war machines made in Anuket City that have been attacking other lands. There’s the forger Slate, her assassin ex Brenner, and a scholar in the service of the Many-Armed God. This god’s devotees are known for being misogynistic, so Learned Edmund, as he’s called, is not too keen on a woman leading the party. Along the way, they run into deer people, dancing headless rats, a gnole named Grimehug, and other unusual beings. They also argue a lot, and there are hints of feelings between Slate and Caliban. It’s a short book, and it ends with the travelers reaching Anuket City, to be continued in the sequel. I thought it was enjoyable.


Silver and Lead, by Seanan McGuire – The nineteenth book in the October Daye series deals with the aftermath of Titania‘s enchantment over Faerie, and Toby’s pregnancy. Queen Arden tries and convicts the false Queen who took her place during the enchantment, but it turns out she’s been replaced by the prejudiced fairy Dame Eloise Altair. On top of that, Arden’s treasury has been robbed, and Toby catches and has to deal with Bucer O’Malley, a greedy Glastig thief with mind-influencing powers. In this world, a Glastig resembles a satyr. Altair poisons Toby with iron, and she turns out to have been trying to lure the heroine so she would have to give her newborn baby to her grandmother Janet Carter, who wants revenge for Faerie, and Toby in particular, having wronged her and taken away her loved ones. I was thinking about this, and realized that a human is trying to steal a baby from a fairy, the reverse of the usual trope. The baby is born during the course of the adventure, and Toby names her Miranda, with the Luidaeg becoming her godmother. The accompanying novella, Seas and Shores, has someone else giving birth, specifically the Merrow Queen Dianda Lorden of the Undersea, whose twin daughters are named November and December. Toby does mention that, while pregnancies among the fae are rare, they often come in clusters.


The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair – This is a fictional novel, but it’s based on Sinclair’s actual investigative journalism into the meat industry. The story follows Jurgis Rudkus, a Lithuanian immigrant who brings his family to Chicago because he’s heard that it’s possible to make a lot more money in the United States. While this is technically true, as the meat-packing plant pays pretty well, they soon learn that the system is rigged against them. Not only are the working conditions terrible and unsanitary, but anyone who misses work due to illness or injury immediately gets fired, and there’s a racket in town of selling houses to poor immigrants, then foreclosing on them when they can no longer pay, and repainting the houses and reselling them as new. After losing his job and his wife, who dies in childbirth, Jurgis becomes depressed and leaves the family, drinking and wandering around as a hobo, sometimes picking up temporary work and other times begging. A meeting with a man in prison leads to doing dirty work for Chicago politicians, revealing that the Republicans and Democrats constantly make deals with each other, and the union bosses and industry leaders tend to be in league with them. He has to leave this lifestyle after he attacks the guy who had earlier raped his wife, who turns out to be in the employ of the political boss Mike Scully, which was also the name of a writer and producer on The Simpsons. Anyway, Jurgis eventually joins the Socialist Party, and gets a job working for a fellow party member at a hotel. The book led to some investigation and reform of the meat industry, but Sinclair’s own political career as a socialist never really worked out.

Posted in Authors, Book Reviews, Capitalism, Celtic, Corporations, Economics, Food, Magic, Mythology, Names, october daye, Politics, Prejudice, Religion, seanan mcguire, Socialism, ursula vernon, William Shakespeare | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spelling Class


Spellcasting 101: Sorcerers Get All the Girls – This was the first game released by Legend Entertainment, with Steve Meretzky from Infocom as the designer. It’s about a young man with an abusive stepfather who goes to wizard school, where he finds himself inexplicably popular and saves the place from catastrophe at the hands of a villain who wants to have it shut down. I definitely thought of a certain children’s series by a transphobic author while playing it, although I don’t think there’s any actual connection. And I’m hardly the first person to mention this. The playable protagonist is Ernie Eaglebeak, and that’s one of the least silly names in this game.

Like Legend’s later Eric the Unready, it’s a text-based game with some graphics, and there’s an in-game clock that moves forward as you take turns. Not only is there a schedule for various parts of the university, but some parts of the game have to be done in a certain number of turns, giving you less time to explore. I guess it’s just an aspect of text games that there are a lot of things you can do that end up being useless. Examining things often just result in being told that they’re nothing special, and that takes up some in-game time, although I suppose you can always go back to an earlier save. You start out exploring the school, attending lectures, and learning magic spells. For the most part, your actions in this part of the game don’t really affect the outcome, but there are a few things you have to do and items you have to get. As the box art suggests, there is a fair amount of raunchy humor, and you meet several easy girls. It’s sort of a straight male fantasy, I suppose, as they seem interested in Ernie even though he doesn’t show much of a personality.

He even has sex with a goddess later on in the game, although that seems like it’s mostly to get back at her husband, the god of ugliness.

I guess sorcerers really do get all the girls, at least in this world. It’s obviously not taken too seriously, though. There’s a Nice setting you can use that cuts out most of the more explicit stuff, usually replacing them with something comically mundane, but I played it on Naughty. One spell you can get that increases bust size, but you actually use it on the kind of bust that’s a statue. It’s also interesting that the dorm has students playing a tabletop role-playing game set in a less fantastic world, because the same basic thing shows up in Simon the Sorcerer II.

At a certain point, someone attacks the school, kidnaps your advisor Professor Otto Tickingclock, and steals the mysterious Sorcerer’s Appliance.

After that, the school aspect is pretty much dropped, even though I think it could easily have been the entire game. Ernie then has to ride a magic surfboard on the Fizzbuttle Ocean to a series of themed islands, something else this has in common with Eric the Unready.

On one island, you have to disenchant a bunch of people who have been transformed into objects, which you do by guessing what names correspond to their enchanted forms. Some of these people are casually flirtatious, and the whole thing reminded me of the Xanth series. Another one makes you do everything backwards, and is based on the story of the Three Bears, which adventure game designers must have really liked. And another inhabited by Amazons can result in death by snu-snu.

Meretzky also worked on the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy game, and this one not only quotes a passage from Douglas Adams, but also has a Restaurant at the End of the Ocean and a confused sperm whale. It’s pretty amusing, but I kind of feel that it gives the impression that there’s a lot more to do than there really is. While there’s some level of freedom in how you can move around and interact, it’s mostly pretty linear. But then, the faster I can make it through these games, the more often I can write about them.

Posted in Authors, Douglas Adams, Fairy Tales, Games, Harry Potter, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Humor, infocom, legend entertainment, Magic, Maps, Mythology, Names, Piers Anthony, Relationships, Video Games, Xanth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Diabolical Devices


Christmaker: A Life of John the Baptist, by James F. McGrath – The author attempts to write a biography of John, using various sources and traditions. The criterion of embarrassment, that the early Christian writers probably wouldn’t have included details that went against their narrative unless there was a historical reason they couldn’t be avoided, comes into play, as the Son of God appearing to be a follower of a different preacher could be controversial. But John was a well-known figure who was considered a necessary part of an account of Jesus. He’s right there at or near the beginning of all four canonical Gospels. It’s interesting that McGrath thinks Jesus and John being related, as the Gospel of Luke indicates, might actually be true, as connections in that time and place were usually made through families. He also points out that the similarity of John’s birth story to that of Samuel might not have just been a repetition of an existing story, but a reflection of how John’s parents might themselves have made that connection. His father Zechariah is described as a priest, while John himself essentially presented an alternative to the Temple in his use of immersion in water to forgive sins, something that had some basis in earlier Jewish tradition but would mostly have been a new thing. It’s also mentioned that the common image of John as some sort of wild man isn’t really accurate and is largely a misinterpretation of the way he’s described. He casts doubt on the statement in Mark that Herod Antipas didn’t initially want to have John executed, comparing it to how unlikely it was that Pontius Pilate thought Jesus was innocent; they’re both attempts by later writers to shift the blame. And there’s a story in the Protoevangelium of James that interrupts the story of Jesus to tell how his parents saved him from Herod the Great’s massacre of the innocents, and includes the detail that Herod thinks John would be the one to take his place as king. Also frequently referenced is the Mandaean Book of John, from a Gnostic religious group mostly active in Iran for whom John is the most important prophet. I found a copy of this book online that was translated by McGrath.


The Book of Lost Things, by John Connolly – I got this one confused with its recently published sequel, so I read them out of order, and now I can’t remember the second one very well. I did like this, though. It’s about a boy named David living in England during World War II, whose mother dies and father remarries, and he doesn’t get along with his stepmother. He reads a lot, and is transported to a place where stories are created, many altered or combined versions of fairy tales he’s familiar with. Snow White has decided to live with the dwarves, and they got so annoyed by her overbearing attitude that they gave her the poisoned apple; Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf produced a species of hybrid offspring; and Gretel takes the place of the cannibalistic witch. The king of this place turns out to be a relative of his stepmother’s who was lured there by the creepy Crooked Man, the same one who tempts David himself, and who is identified with Rumplestiltskin. Along the way, he’s helped out by a woodsman and Childe Roland, both of whom serve as parental figures. It ends with his coming to terms with his grief and accepting his new situation, which is fine as far as it goes, but his dad really was rather unfair to him and he apparently doesn’t have to go on a journey of self-discovery. After the end of the story, Connolly includes the most famous versions of the stories he’s reinterpreted, with some explanation of his background with them and how he used them. The sequel, The Land of Lost Things, also has someone dealing with grief ending up in the land of stories, in this case a mother whose daughter is in a coma. She encounters some familiar characters, including the woodsman and the Crooked Man. The protagonist, Ceres, is related to David, who had written about his own experiences.


While the Dark Remains, by Joanna Ruth Meyer – This is a book where I enjoyed the writing and thought the main character’s voice was interesting, but wasn’t always able to follow the plot. Brynja is an acrobat who was forced to perform for King Kallias of Daeros, a cruel man who keeps child entertainers as slaves. Kallias’ son Ballast helped her escape, and in the present, she returns to the castle of Tenebris in the guise of a princess hoping to broker a peace deal, but actually planning to overthrow Kallias. At first, it alternates between the present and Brynja’s memories of the past. Later on, it says a lot more about the magic and gods of the world, and the protagonist’s own magical powers.


Heroics for Beginners, by John Moore – This is the third book in Moore’s Twenty Kingdoms series that I’ve read, and I’ve noticed some trends between them. There are a lot of jokes, references, cliches, and anachronisms; but even beyond that, there’s a preference for trickery and subterfuge over traditional heroic escapades, and couples getting together over the course of their experiences even when they’ve already had marriages arranged. In this case, the beautiful but allegedly cold Princess Rebecca of Deserae is engaged to the military leader Logan of Angostura, but is more interested in Prince Kevin of Rassendas, who’s concerned about what his historical reputation will be. He goes on his own quest to defeat Lord Voltmeter, an evil overlord who got his start as a bullying schoolteacher and worked his way up, and has gotten hold of an Ancient Artifact to power a doomsday device. He’s also styled himself He Who Must Be Named, so that everyone has to refer to him by his name, and never just pronouns. Kevin gets instructions on being a hero from a book by an author who’s also written about fly fishing. Rebecca joins him as his comic sidekick, and has a bit of confusion with armor that ends in her being dressed in a chain mail bikini. Kevin also makes one of the overlord’s attractively evil assistants question her career when he suggests that she might age out of the position. It’s nothing revolutionary, but it’s pretty funny.


Snow White and Other Examples of Jealousy Unrewarded, by Amelia Carruthers – I’ve read several other books from this series, but not in a while. Each one gives several different versions of a fairy tale, with an introduction discussing similarities and differences. The first printed tale of this sort is Giambattista Bastile’s The Young Slave, in which the character Lisa dies due to a fairy’s curse at seven years old, and is buried in seven separate glass coffins before being accidentally restored by her jealous aunt. The account of the curse is similar to the one in Sleeping Beauty, except even more petty as the fairy is reacting to a twisted foot that isn’t anyone’s fault but her own. In the Malay poem Bidasari, which is summarized in parts, the evil queen enchants the young girl by stealing the goldfish that held her soul. I was already familiar with the version by the Brothers Grimm, which also makes Snow White only seven during the events of the story. When the queen asks her magic mirror who the hottest person in the kingdom is and it says that it’s her prepubescent stepdaughter, you’d think she’d have some questions about the mirror’s opinions, but apparently not. I’ve also noted that both the poisoned comb (which was also in The Young Slave) and apple, when removed, apparently remove all the poison from her body, which isn’t usually how such things work. But then, they ARE magical. In the Celtic Gold Tree and Silver Tree, the evil queen seems more resourceful than her Grimm counterpart, as she only needs her daughter’s finger to poison her. In this one, the girl is already married to a king at this point. He marries someone else after she’s enchanted, but then when she’s restored, he keeps both wives. And it’s the second wife who saves Gold Tree from the queen’s next attempt. Silver Tree also gets magical advice from a trout instead of a mirror. The last selection is a very brief Swiss story where a puritanical woman has the dwarves killed because she thinks they’re having a sexual relationship with Snow White.

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A Pirate I Was Meant to Be


The Curse of Monkey Island – The third game in the series was also the first not to be designed by Ron Gilbert, who had left the previous installment with a weird ending in which LeChuck was Guybrush’s brother, and they both were kids at an amusement park. Since the new designers weren’t sure where Gilbert was planning on going with that, they came up with a story that takes this ending into account but still takes place in the exaggerated Caribbean of the previous two games. The amusement park is still there, but it was designed by a still adult and dead LeChuck, who uses the roller coaster to turn guests into skeletal recruits for his army of the undead.

LeChuck is a more exaggerated character in this one, being a fiery demon instead of a mere ghost, but also given such silly dialogue that he’s hard to take seriously. And some of his henchmen double as costumed characters for the park. He still wants to marry Elaine, but has a bizarre idea of how to go about it.

Guybrush, who managed to escape from the park in a floating bumper car, once again has to thwart the evil pirate’s plans. In his typical well-meaning but careless way, he proposes to Elaine with what turns out to be a cursed ring, turning her into a golden statue. In order to restore her, he has to find a different ring to break the curse. The game has two modes, and I chose the easier one. Maybe I’ll try the other one if I ever do a replay, but I’m sure that wouldn’t be anytime soon. There are some interesting gameplay mechanics here, with the insult swordfighting returning from the first game, only with a twist in that all the responses have to rhyme. It’s combined with sea combat, with Guybrush and his crew having to take down other ships with their cannons, then board them to do the swordfighting and steal enough money to upgrade the weapons. Your crew for this part of the game consists of three pirates who started a salon in order to sing in a barbershop quartet, but liked the name they came up with for the shop, the Barbery Coast, so they settled into being hairdressers. The Scottish guy, Haggis McMutton, is voiced by Alan Young, who was also the voice of Scrooge McDuck. At one point, these three sing a song where they rhyme with everything Guybrush says while doing an amusing dance, and it only ends when he comes up with something that they can’t rhyme.

You visit four different islands during the course of your adventure, coming across a theatrical troupe who have modified Shakespeare for a piratical audience, a chicken restaurant, a ship crewed by monkeys under the leadership of Captain LeChimp and his human first mate, the tragic and pun-filled history of the Goodsoup family, and a tattooed map that our hero has to peel off someone’s skin.

Guybrush also has to fake his death twice in order to get into a crypt, prompting some fourth-wall-breaking comments from the gravedigger.

Recurring characters include the Voodoo Lady, who has set up shop on Plunder Island, the cartographer Wally who is learning to be a pirate through audiobooks on parrot, the sleazy salesman Stan who sets up an insurance business in a crypt, and the well-spoken fruit-masked vegetarian cannibals who now tend to a lactose intolerant volcano god.

And there’s a callback to the guy in the first game who advertises Loom, this time with a skeleton who looks like Manny Calavera from Grim Fandango.

A new character who deserves mention is Murray, who wants to conquer the world but is hampered by the fact that he’s just a disembodied skull.

He shows up several times throughout the game. The final part has Guybrush return to LeChuck’s carnival, where he’s at first turned into a child, then has to set up a trap for his nemesis on the roller coaster. There isn’t that much of an ending, but it does show us Guybrush and Elaine getting married.

Apparently Gilbert wasn’t too keen on this idea, as he thought Elaine saw the hero as more like a brother. When they first meet in The Secret of Monkey Island, however, they’re definitely into each other in a non-familial way. These feelings might not have lasted, but they certainly happened.

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Head Games


The Green Knight – I chose to watch this on New Year’s Eve because I knew the story traditionally starts and ends on New Year’s Day. Little did I know it was changed to Christmas Day for the movie, not a major alteration but kind of undermining my thinking. It was directed by a guy named David Lowery, which is confusing as I’m a fan of Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker. I’m sure a lot of people have that name, but it’s still weird. I’m not entirely sure what I thought of the film. It was definitely visually appealing, and evocative due to that and its stylization. The director also clearly has an obsession with fonts. The Green Knight himself looks pretty cool as sort of a tree-like man, probably based on the Green Man.

A lot of the movie is Gawain wandering around in the woods trying to reach the Green Chapel, and being kind of a jerk to everyone he meets, including the cute talking fox.

Beth said that this part of it reminded her of Antichrist, which also had a talking fox, although that one didn’t talk anywhere near as much. I didn’t realize at first that the part where Gawain chickens out from the Knight’s blow was supposed to be a fantasy sequence. In retrospect, it was basically the same idea as The Last Temptation of Christ. Overall, it was worth watching for the general feel, but the story was slow. It is interesting that the ending is left ambiguous, even though the typical ending for the tale has the Knight letting Gawain go with just a nick on the neck.


Creep 2 – This sequel returns to the serial killer who lives in the woods and kills people who agree to film him, keeping the videotapes afterwards. This time, his victim is a woman named Sara who makes a series of online videos where she responds to weird personal ads. The killer is now calling himself Aaron, the name of his victim from the previous film. His original pitch is that he wants her to make a profile of him. He admits he’s a serial killer, and while she doesn’t believe it, the only real precaution she takes is carrying a knife. You’d think she would at least tell someone about it when she was going out to meet weirdos in the wilderness. The killer claims that he’s losing passion for his work, such as it is, and seems to change his mind about what he wants to do, once saying Sara should kill him, and later that they should die together. He’s a compulsive liar who changes his story constantly, obviously trying to keep his victims off guard, but it might well also be true that he’s not always sure what he wants to do. The interactions between the two are very awkward, with Sara agreeing to pretty much anything because she thinks it will make a good story. I get why people are fascinated by this guy, but he’s also really obnoxious. Sara manages to get away by pretending to be dead and then hitting him over the head with a shovel while he’s distracted. The last scene implies that he eventually caught up with her, but does this mean she just leaves him knocked out and doesn’t report him or anything? I also noticed that the killer’s sister, whom he quite likely sexually abused and who has some knowledge of his psychopathy, doesn’t come up at all in this one. He does still use the wolf mask a few times, though.

Posted in Animals, Arthurian Legend, British, Christmas, Dreams, Holidays, Monsters, Mythology, New Year's Day, Video | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Tisket, A Tasket, Children in a Basket


I came upon a reference to Dzunukwa, a figure from the mythology of native tribes of British Columbia, particularly the Kwakiutl of Vancouver Island, whom I don’t think I’d heard of before. Since there isn’t a standardized way to Romanize these names, the name is spelled several ways in transcription, and is used for both male and female monsters, sometimes seen as a couple and called “Big Figures.” They’re sometimes associated with the Sasquatch, especially by modern cryptozoology enthusiasts. The female version, the one who shows up more often,  is also known as the Basket Woman or the Wild Woman of the Woods.

Mask by Erich Glendale, from Spirits of the West Coast Art Gallery
She’s described as a dark-skinned woman who goes around naked, showing her pendulous breasts, and is often depicted with messy hair and bright red lips. Dzunukwa is generally used as a cautionary tale for children, warning them not to stray too far from the village, as she’s known for putting kids into a giant basket so she can bring them back home and eat them.

Picture by W.P. Morse
The stories about her do, however, often show her being clumsy and not very bright, so the children can often trick her and get away. One tale I came across in a few different variants involves the captured kids fooling Dzumukwa into falling into the bonfire she prepared, causing her body to be burned to ashes, which then turn into mosquitoes. I’ve also seen mentions that she will bestow wealth on anyone who can trick her or make her own children cry, and that she’s particularly rich in the copper that can be found in the woods. The book of Kwakiutl legends that I read mostly uses the male forest giant, but also has his wife providing animals to a hunter who grabs her son’s toe while she’s making a canoe. Dzunukwa is also said to guard the water of life, and to have powers of healing and resurrection. It’s said that the Namgis clan regards her as not just a forest monster, but an ancestral spirit.

From what I’ve seen, a Dzunukwa mask is used to signify the end of a potlach ceremony.
Image source: Nelson Atkins Museum of Art
This page gives more information on the ceremonial role of the Dzunukwa, both as a humorously clumsy dancer and as an important part of copper cutting, presumably filling both her roles as antagonist and helper.

Posted in Art, Magic, Monsters, Mythology, Native American, Religion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simon Says Something Snarky


Simon the Sorcerer II: The Lion, the Wizard and the WardrobeThe first game ended with Simon being pulled against his will into the sequel, but that’s not exactly how this one starts, even if the part of his being unwillingly dragged into the game is still there. It starts with a strange kid who talks like Peter Lorre bringing the villain Sordid back into a robot body. The two of them send a magical wardrobe to Simon’s house to transport him back to the fantasy world, with the evil wizard even mentioning that he got the idea from a children’s book. Simon ends up outside Calypso’s shop, and the owner informs him that he’ll need a magical fuel called Mucusade to get back. So our hero has to go through the typical series of puzzles to find some. This time, most of the locations you can visit are pretty small, and Simon accesses them through a map screen. You can go from one to the other at will, and pretty much have to in order to follow the clues, although there are some places you can’t access right away. And in terms of characters becoming meaner in later appearances, as with Roger Wilco and Guybrush Threepwood, Simon, who was already pretty snarky in the first game, here is openly rude to pretty much everybody. I guess being forcibly returned to a place that you didn’t like that much the first time and not even getting any recognition for defeating Sordid will do that to a guy. He seems particularly nasty to Calypso’s granddaughter, who never does anything to him and is in fact quite friendly.

He does draw the line at actually feeding a cat to a carnivorous plant, although he has to taunt it with the feline in order to get past the goblin guards. There’s the same mix of quasi-medieval fantasy and more modern references, including a loan office that fires a catapult at the homes of delinquent clients, Ladies of the Lake who alternate shifts in wetsuits and guard a sword in the stone that can only be pulled out by someone with a crown tattoo, a pet shop run by a madman who combines animals, the Three Bears having a state-of-the-art security system after the Goldilocks incident, a drunken genie who has to be sobered up with caffeine pills, the Graeae adding several more repetitions of “ae” to their name, and a group of nerds who role-play what would be mundane professions to people from our world.

If anything, it somewhat emphasizes the modern elements over the plethora of classic fantasy and fairy tale references from the last game. Several familiar characters show up again, most notably the pathetic Swampling, who now runs a fast food restaurant called MucSwampling’s.

I wonder how it compares to Monolith Burger. Once you finally find the Mucusade, you’re captured by pirates and have to figure out a way to get away from them.

I’m currently playing the third Monkey Island game, and I know this series was influenced by that one. And yes, there is a lion, who takes Simon to the last area in the game, and has an amusing design and animation.

Also entertaining is the eldritch abomination in Sordid’s castle who’s basically a bunch of pig heads joined together.

The whole thing ends on a cliffhanger. I have to say this game feels kind of small compared to its predecessor, but it’s still funny. It probably doesn’t help that Simon himself is irritated and dismissive throughout his adventures, which kind of rubs off on the player. By the way, the character was apparently not consciously named after its designer, Simon Woodroffe, or Simon Magus.

Posted in Animals, Art, Authors, C.S. Lewis, Chronicles of Narnia, Fairy Tales, Food, Greek Mythology, Humor, lucasarts, Magic, Maps, Monsters, Mythology, Names, Video Games | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment