Round Up of The Year

I saw this on Caro's blog and agreed that it could be fun.

Basically you post the first sentence of the first post for each month along with a link. So here we go:

January
I gotta new attitude!

February
Again, I’m MIA.

March
So why can’t anything be easy?

April
Take Back the U.T.E.R.U.S.

May
The slave driversbosses haven’t given me enough time to breathe, much less blog.

June
I finally updated this post with my 8 week u/s pic.

July
Before:

August
Everything looks wonderful with the boys.

September
Shit.

October
No really, I am.

November
Brianne @ Gibson Twins tagged me for the Dirty Little Secrets meme.

December
That’s what my body did the other day.

The was pretty damn interesting.  It made me review where I was at the beginning of the year.  It was also interesting to go back and read the comments on some of my old posts.  Much fun!  :-)

If the cancer doesn't get you...

The blood clots will.  A, from this post and the ones linked to it is dead.  The brain tumor didn't kill him.  A blood clot did, though.  He fell dead of a heart attack this morning.  

J took A to a doc-in-the-box yesterday evening due to pain and swelling in his legs.  They then sent him to the best hospital around for an ultrasound.  After being examined at said hospital and being determined that it could be a blood clot A was sent home with aspirin and an order to come back in the morning for the ultrasound; there was no ultrasound technician on duty at that hour. 

This morning A turned to J right before he fell to the floor.  They were on their way out the door heading back to the hospital for the ultrasound.  He was dead before the EMTs got there.

Ten months to the day after her father died, her husband died.

To say she is broken is an understatement.

Merry Christmas!

We couldn't have asked for anything more...

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Give me a effing break!

So I currently have three babies in the house.  The two newborns and the husband.  As much as I thought I would hate for him to go back to work on Friday, I'm soooo ready.  He's used to being super busy and always doing something, and that's not been the case lately.  He's pretty much been a wonderful help with the boys, but I think he's getting a little tired of it. 

I don't mean he's getting tired of the boys, but he's tired of taking care of the three of us.  I'm still having a fair amount of pain from my surgery and still on some restrictions so he's still having to do more than I would like for me and the house.  I'm pretty sure he's tired of washing bottles and trying to comfort gassy tummies. 

And today he decides that he needs to fix the material on my moon-roof (began to fall off after I left it open during a huge rain storm).  To do this he had to take apart quite a bit of the interior of my car.  Now it's getting dark and he still hasn't been able to fix it.  It's not his fault that he can't find material to match the old stuff, no paint will stick to it, and he can't think of any other solutions.  But good God!  Don't get pissy with me because I can't come up with a solution that you're "comfortable with". 

So, yeah.  He really needs to go back to work.  At least tomorrow we'll be over at my sister's house for part of the day.  I'm sure me, my sister, the boys, and my niece will hide away in one part of the house while Mr. W, my BIL, and my nephew hide away in another part.  A little break will be nice.

For the record, I've all but begged him to go out and do something.  I can't force him to take a break.

 

On a really odd note, why in the world is pu-ssy in my spell-check but pissy is not?  Really wordpress?

2 Week Well Check

The boys are doing great! They had their two week check up today (they're almost two weeks old?!?!).

Here's the stats:

Trip weighed 6lb 5oz when he was born.
At his "5 day well check" last Wednesday he had lost to 6lb 1oz.
Today he weighs 6lb 10oz. Way to grow little man!

Jack weighed 6lb 7.5oz when he was born.
At his "5 day well check" last Wednesday he had lost to 6lb 4oz.
Today he weighs 6lb 11.8oz. Way to grow baby boy!

They each have a tiny issue, more like non-issues, that require warm compresses 5-6 times a day. Trip's belly button has been bleeding some and he now has (for lack of a better term) a huge scab in his belly button. Jack has a blocked tear duct in his right eye. Both issues are very common so no one is concerned.

Our little boys are growing so quickly! It's just amazing!!!

 

JackTrip

:-)

Thank you all so much for the support and advice on my last post.  Mr. W finally realized how much all of you guys mean to me when your comments began to make me feel better.  You all rock!

I've made my decisions about feeding the boys based on what Mr. W and I feel what is best for the four of us.  Immediately upon deciding I felt peaceful.  We're a much happier household, now.

I read a post recently that helped me put a few things into perspective.  Instead of being upset about what I have or don't have and what I can or can't do, I need to completely focus on the wonderful things in my life.  I am very blessed.

I'm no longer waiting in line.  :-)

Cry, Cry Baby

Yeah, in case you were wondering, this post isn't about the babies.  Or at least not the little ones.  All about me right now.  (the boys are definitely part of the subject, but it really is all about me.)

These hormones suck ass.  Major stinky ass.  I spent the majority of the day yesterday crying.  Why, you ask?  Because I'm a bad Mom.  Because I'm not producing enough milk for one child, let alone two.  Because upping my intake means upping the times I pump.  Because my nipples throb (not cracked or dry or even red, just sore as hell).  Because my babies cry (yeah, I know they do that...but in my effed up mind it right now...).  Because I'm tired.  Because my dogs aren't getting enough attention.  Because I want to do laundry.  Because I don't have time to read blogs and/or comment.  Because I marked 239 posts as "read".  Because the sun is shining.  Because the sun isn't shining.  Get the point?  And I really don't like to cry.

Everyone says breast feeding is hard and I've always figured it would be, but I didn't count low supply to be an issue.  I know my Mom had it, but my sister had no problem.  As it is, I wasn't even sure that my milk had come in until I missed a scheduled feeding + pumping and the next time I pumped I actually managed to get 80 cc's (total).  I've never felt the sensation I've heard you feel when your milk "lets down".  The girls have really let me down.  I'm not sure how much longer I want to suffer through trying to give my boys breast milk.  I mean, here's the schedule so far:  nurse baby until he falls off or 30 minutes (lactation consultant said don't let him go more than 30 minutes per breast), begin nursing other baby while holding soothie in first baby's mouth, change both babies, give both babies supplemental bottles (thank you boppy!), love on babies until they fall asleep, pump, try to sleep a few minutes, begin cycle again.  Do you see what I'm getting at?  And if I really want to get any sleep, I have to cut out the pumping part.

I spoke to someone about it yesterday and they told me that if I cut out the supplemental bottles that the boys will sleep less and want to breast feed more and my supply will increase.  I decided to give it a go.  Neither child would go to sleep until I gave them at least a little supplement.  No amount of nursing filled them up.  Trip was actually awake for 5 hours.  5 effing hours the poor little guy suffered.  And I couldn't nurse him anymore.  He would turn towards me (regardless of who was holding him) and root and cry and break my heart.  My babies were hungry and I couldn't help them.  Even typing this is making me cry.

Well, as much as I want to go on and on about how shitty I feel right now, someone is getting fussy.  Time to start the routine.  And seriously, I'm not asking for sympathy or begging for a poor-amanda, but if anyone has any advice, I'm all ears!

I really didn't update??

We all got to come home together!  My house is now a mess (not bad, but it looks like the baby store threw up everywhere) and my brain closely matches.  But Mr. W and I are so unbelievable happy to have these little ones home with us.  If you look closely you'll see one of us crying at any given moment.

Crap, one of them is crying again.  Thank you all for the well wishes!!!

Crossing my fingers

Trip hasn't needed extra oxygen for 48 hours; he's been off IV for 24 hours; he's feeding well and his sugars have been great.  Jack's bilirubin levels are excellent.  I'm able to walk around without any real pain and from what they say my incision looks great.  I'm crossing my fingers and toes that we all get to go home today.

I woke up at 6 this morning and burst into tears.  Sobbing I-want-my-Mommy type tears.  All I could say was, "I want my babies!  I want to go home!"  I've kept the boys in the nursery the past two nights so I could get a few hours of sleep and I woke up unhappy with that decision.  Luckily a shower, some pain meds, and some food helped with the emotional overload.  Now, I'm waiting for the doctor to come in so I can go to my boys.

AND I JUST GAVE MYSELF MY FIRST LOVENOX INJECTION!  I'm proud of myself (I'm such a needle-phobe)!  :-)

Please send all your well wishes and prayers that they let me take both of my babies home with me today.  Mr. W said if they keep Trip then he will take me and Jack home, but he'll be back at the hospital as soon as he gets us settled.  His plans are to spend 22 hours a day in the nursery and the two hours that he won't be allowed (shift changes) he'll sit in the waiting room.  He's a bit smitten with these little creatures.  :-)

Post Ambien Picture Post

Holy miracle in the morning!  I feel like a million bucks...well, at least a few thousand.  Can't completely escape the fact that someone sliced through a few layers of my body just days ago.  :-)

As promised, here are our first family pictures.  It's funny how I could care less that Mr. W and I both look like we could lay down at that second and sleep for a year.  I don't care about the fact that I have no makeup on and my hair is barely brushed (OMG that first shower was a little slice of heaven).  Look at what we're holding!!!  And together!!!

 

The twins, back together at last!

  

[caption id="attachment_821" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="I could spend the rest of my life like this..."][/caption]

 I'm hoping and praying that I can have both of my boys with me starting today.  One of my friends expressed what I'd been holding in about Trip when she said, "I bet he misses his brother".  I bet he does.  The poor little guy was pulled from my body and away from his brother and hasn't been back with us (except for the pics) since.  How lonely it must be for him.  Being a twin myself, I feel there really is a different type of bond between twin siblings (at least for me this is true).  I just can't wait to get the two guys back together and back in my arms!!!

And does anyone else think maybe there's a little bit of electricity from those leads running into Trip?  Where did those little waves in his hair come from?  It has to be electricity causing that hair because mine (and Mr. W's) is so straight!  ;-)

Oh yeah, Geohde's comment on my last post had me giggling.  If you have a real sensitivity to body comments, try to not end up being placed in the antepartum ward after you've given birth to twins.  When you don't have a baby with you, you will get asked about how far along you are, etc.  Ha-ha!  (More on the antepartum ward and why I'm here later)

Well, shift change is about over so it's time for me to get on the ball and get ready.  I'm actually going to walk the entire way to the nursery this morning.  Time to feed the babies!

Smitten (with pictures!!!)

I'm going to try to make this short, but beware, it will probably be choppy.  I knew I would have anxiety the night before my c-section, but I was so afraid of oversleeping that I woke up every 15 minutes for the 4 hours I managed to stay in bed.  Doh!  Then 23 hours later I managed to catch about two more hours of sleep.  Tonight the nurseries have my boys and I have an ambien.  But you didn't come here to read about that, did you?

A huge THANK YOU to dear Farahfor updating my blog yesterday.  I had high hopes of being a super blogger like some other person I know (hint), but we can't all be that cool.  ;-)

Trip (he's named after his father  who is a junior; Trip is short for triple; get it) had a little trouble keeping his O2 saturation levels quite in the right level, so they took him to the level II nursery right after he was born.  He ended up only needing an oxygen hood for about 24 hours.  This morning he got to escape from his space helmet to plain room air.  He has tolerated a few feedings (I tried breastfeeding, but it only puts him asleep to be that close to me right now), and seems to be regulating his body temp just fine.  Hopefully he'll be moved to level I tomorrow morning.  As soon as that happens he can come to my room and I can spoil him rotten with hugs and kisses get down to some serious attempts at breast feeding.  He got a good latch already, but just had no desire to suck.

Jack (his first name is after my brother, but in my family the men go by their middle names) can nurse very well...when he wants to.  He didn't want to for about 7 hours today.  I figured if this kid didn't want it then I could try to get whatever drops of gold I could out to feed to his older brother.  Go figure, I pump then he wants to eat.  I did let him nurse for a good while but of course he was still hungry and had to be supplemented with some formula. 

Mr. W is so in love that I'm shocked he hasn't spontaneously combusted.  I have yet to change a diaper, even.  He's figured out how to swaddle almost as good as the nurses.  :-o  He's also been doing so much for me that the nurses only come in as a courtesy anymore.  Ha-ha!  I'll have to tell you about one of the sweetest and heartbreaking things some other day, but this man is so in love with these little boys that it looks like it hurts at times.  Of course this just makes me love him even more.

A quick update on me before I get to the good stuff.  The surgery went just fine.  I had the worse case of the shakes during the whole thing and afterwards, but that was really the only bad thing I could say about it.  As soon as they pulled the boys out I said, "I feel skinny!"  Even the doctor chuckled at that one.  I'm following doctors orders and moving around, but not overdoing it.  I'm also making sure to take my pain meds regularly.  I'm uncomfortable, but at most times my pain level is minimal.  :-)

 

This is the first time that Mr. W was able to hold his oldest son.  They stared at each other the entire time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a closeup of Jack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a closeup of Trip.

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

One proud Dad holding both of his sons for the first time!

 

 

 

Two more pics to come tomorrow.  The ambien has kicked in and I'm falling asleep at the keyboard.  Thank you all for your love and support!!!

 

 

 

Congratulations! Welcome two little boys into the World

Hey y'all this is Farah - I wanted to give you an update on Amanda and the boys.

The boys were delivered this morning via c-section:

Trip at 9:54am, 19 inches, 6.5oz     Jack at 9:55am,  18.5 inches, 6.7oz  

She is doing well considering she hasn't had much time to spend with the boys yet.   She did say that Trip has bigger feet than Jack! And may have red hair like his momma. 

Jack was in the room with her when I spoke to her tonight.  She is also still in the antepartum wing because the post partum is full.  Trip was still in Level 2 NICU.  His O2 levels keep dropping.  He has been there since this morning.  She is still hooked up to the catheter so she has yet to be released to walk down and see him in there ..So Keep them in your thoughts  and Send warm wishes and congrat's.

MIL Rant

Before I start my rant, I want to send a huge thank you out there to all of you! My nerves are now completely at east (at least about the whole will-my-kids-be-sucking-on-dry-ta-tas issue)!

Now, on to the rant.

I know I've had at least one other rant about my MIL and here we go again. Anyone who follows me on Twitter has probably seen whats going on with her right now, but just so I can really get this out there, I'm blogging about it.

MIL was scheduled to come into town Friday afternoon, as soon as she got off of work. She had plans to stop in another part of the state (on the way) to visit Mr. W's brother who is...um...staying at a government run facility. She would then make her way to us, possibly before visiting hours were over. That night she would stay either with us or with my sister so she could visit in the morning before heading back home.   This seemed a little odd to me since she didn't have to be home until Sunday and these are her first grandchildren, but it worked.

Fast forward to the next day; MIL calls.  The first thing out of her mouth, "Are the babies here"  (as if we wouldn't call her).  And she has changed her schedule.  She is going to come into town after work on Thursday.  She's still going to stop and visit Mr. W's brother and try to make it to us before visitng hours are over.  Instead of staying at anyone's house, she'll just sleep at the hospital.  Then she can visit with us in the morning and head back home that day.  She'll stay where?!?!?!  Mr. W informed her that she couldn't stay in the room with us.  She said she would stay in the waiting room.  Um?  For 12 hours?  Why can't she stay at our houes?  And again, these are her first grandchildren and she doesn't have to be home until Sunday, why the rush?

That was yesterday.  Today the crazy lady calls back.  This is the conversation I hear:

"No, it's Thursday.  [pause] No.  Thursday.  [pause]  No.  It's Thursday.  [pause]  Thursday.  The surgery is at 8:00 am and pre-op is at 6:00."

I knew there was the possibility that one of their phones was cutting out so he was having to repeat himself.  That just didn't make sense, though.  Why would she not know when her grandsons were going to be born?  We'd only talked about it a dozen times!  So I asked Mr. W  if she realy was arguing with him about when my surgery is scheduled.  She.  Was.

I really do love my MIL, but WTF?  Why must she be such a flake?  Why must all of my in-laws be so flaky (read:  flaky, drunks, drug addicts, certifiable)?

I dread every single visit from his family right now.  I dread his phone even ringing because it might be one of his family members telling us they're coming for a visit.  (yes, I said telling, they don't usually ask).

Mr. W did finally have a talk with his Dad and explained to him that he's not allowed to bring Mr. W's other brother (the non-incarcerated one) until he can prove that he's off the drugs and has cleaned himself up.  He told him that we can't protect the boys from the world, but we can keep the bad stuff out of our house.  He seemed to be fine with it.  Woo-hoo!

Well, I feel better, now.  Sorry for the bitch post.  I just had to get it out.  :-)

Bodily Confusion

I feel stupid even wondering this, but how are my breasts going to know that it's time for them to get to work?  I think I'm the only person that I know that has made it to 37 weeks (hooray!!!) without any leakage.  And since my body seems content to carry these two until they're cut out, how are the girls going to know it's time?  I know that Oxytocin is the natural chemical in your body that causes uterine contractions and also sends signals to your breasts to start producing...so without labor, how is my body going to know?

Again, I feel stupid for worrying about this.  People have scheduled C-sections all the time and I'm sure they're able to breastfeed their children.  But my fear is I'll put my boys to my breast and they're going to suck on nothing.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not scared of having to give them formula, I'm scared of the pain I imagine having one of those little vacuum like mouths sucking on a dry well.  Ouch!

Show me Your Tree!

Alison at (un)complicate me has a yearly (second year!!!) tradition of a show-me-your-tree post.  It's a great way for everyone to share their tree/Menorah/decorations/lights-in-the-snow picture/whatever.  I participated last year and, of course, this year. 

This year we finally have our pre-lit tree.  I assure you it's not as nice as it sounds, though.  One row is already completely out and another row blinks whenever it feels like it (took me a few shots to get a pic while the row wasn't out).  I think I know how to fix the kinks, but I just can't get around to it.  I can't wait until I can put the tree up next year.  Mr. W was kind enough to do it this year, but that means that the branches weren't properly arranged and the ornaments weren't quite how I'd do them.  I still love it, though!

I also have all of our stockings hung (by the fireplace with care, of course).  I finally found the holders I had been looking for and am satisfied with the results.  Believe it or not, I am so OCD that I used a measuring tape to make sure they were spaced evenly.  Well, there can be no more pets or children for me, unless I get rid of the hubby...there's no more room on the mantle!  (and for those of you that are interested...there are names on the stockings ;-))

36 Weeks 5 Days Pics

Here I am at 36 weeks and 5 days.  Just for a reference, this is a super huge mens 3X t-shirt.  (and I hate smiling for pictures)  5 more days!!!!

The post where I do nothing but brag on my husband

BEWARE - I AM ABOUT TO LIST EVERYTHING THAT I CAN THINK OF THAT MR. W HAS DONE TO OUR HOUSE. IT IS A LONG AND TEDIOUS LIST AND I'M SERIOUSLY BRAGGING ON HIM BECAUSE I AM SO PROUD. PLEASE DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED TO READ OR COMMENT. :-)

The house was purchased in April 2005 and Mr. W began very slowly renovating it himself. He has replaced the cedar siding with hardi-plank siding (at the same time he added a lot of insulation because there was so much missing and replaced the drywall they had under the siding with plywood as it should have plus he added a vapor barier), replaced/repaired structural damage that previous owners had ignored/shoddily repaired, replaced all 12 windows, 3 doors, sliding glass doors with french doors, and garage door (which included re framing and custom trim), replaced the roof (with the help of a few friends), replaced the floor of the front porch and the rear deck, rebuilt the front and rear stairs, replaced the railings on the front and rear porch, re screened the upper portion of the back porch and enclosed the lower portion, replaced the exterior lighting making sure to properly run the wires so the house wouldn't burn down as opposed to whoever had done it before, and painted the entire house and all the trim.

On the inside Mr. W tore down old pine paneling, sheet rocked 5 1/2 rooms, repaired all other sheet rock, scraped and repaired all ceilings, ran new electrical where necessary, built new hearth (with my help) and installed and tiled new mantle and surround, installed new light fixtures and celing fans, tore out old carpet, replaced top layer of sub floor in all rooms and both layers where necessary, laid hardwood floors throughout the downstairs then replaced with sturdier (and nicer) pergo flooring once dogs ruined hardwoods, replaced stair treads and handrails (with help from my BIL), gutted 2 1/2 bathrooms, installed new plumbing/repaired old plumbing where necessary, installed 3 new toilets, 2 new bathtubs, tiled 2 shower walls and 3 bathroom floors, installed 3 new vanities with sinks and one pedestal sink, installed new kitchen counters, sink, fixtures, and appliances, installed a new attic door/stairs, installed new baseboards and crown molding in every room, and painted everything. He actually paid a company to come in and install carpet upstairs and on the stairs themselves (dogs ruined the nice stained stairs he installed...they're not allowed on the carpet).

Underneath the house Mr. W has replaced insulation, replaced the vapor barrier, repaired plumbing, replaced and/or repaird duct work and vents, pinned up all lose and hanging wires, replaced the lattice around the bottom of the porch and deck, installed an access panel under the porch and deck and replaced the access door under the house.  (Someone please tell me why every time the jackass termite inspection guy comes he has to either break something under the house or tear down insulation and not push it back up???)

Through all of this renovating Mr. W suffered a split lip (literally split right through the entire lower portion of his lip) and eyebrow, a broken arm, and two severed fingers. He achieved a serious sense of accomplishment and pride plus a shit load of equity in a now beautiful house.

I am so proud of him!

Give me an inch...

And apparently I completely disregard your feelings in all matters.  No really, this seems to be the case with Mr. W.

I really haven't meant to disregard Mr. W's feelings in a lot of things, but it appears I have.  He's so kind, loving, giving, and easy going that I didn't know I was doing it.  He didn't feel well the other night, so was a little more open with some of his concerns.

For years I have known that when I had a baby my mother would come and stay with me for the first week and basically do anything I asked to help.  She did this with my sister both times and was considered a God-send.  I knew that I would want this.  I knew that this would happen.  This was merely a fact, not something that would ever be debated.  Apparently Mr. W isn't actually all on board with this.

A few nights ago, when something is mentioned about my parents coming into town next week, Mr. W says something about how he's not very excited about this.  I ask him to elaborate and basically what he tells me is that he's concerned that he won't be able to hold his children when he wants to.  I'm sure there's a little more to it than that, but that's as far as he would go.  I offered to have my parents come at a later time or to have them stay with my sister, but he declined.  He said that this is something that he new I wanted and that he had known about since we started trying to have children.

I tried to convince him that my Mom would be completely out of our way.  Knowing my Mom and having spoken with my Sister, I know that she won't do anything she's not asked to do and would never overstep any boundaries.  Mr. W's family can be quite pushy (his Mom always buys glasses and place-mats and things that she feels we need when she visits...as if we wouldn't go get them ourselves if they were necessary or if we actually wanted them) so maybe this is where his fear comes in.  I also think that he is completely oblivious about the reality of having a newborn in the house, much more so about having two of them.

My Sister has assured me that he will completely change his mind after the boys arrive, since her husband had reservations also but ended up crying when she left.  My Sister and I have also decided that if he decides, after any amount of time, that he isn't happy with her here then her and my Dad can hop across town and spend the rest of the week at my Sister's house.  I've already let him know that this is an option, if he so chooses, and that I respect whatever choice he makes.

Another issue that I didn't think to consult him about until our childbirth class is circumcision.  We're having two boys and I didn't think to ask their Father if he was comfortable with having them circumcised?!?!?!  Really?  What was I thinking (or not thinking)?  We are on the same page, but I didn't ask until I was in my third trimester.  I'm pretty sure this is something that I should have thought about talking with him about.  Instead, the topic comes up in class and I lean over to him and whisper, "You do want to circumcise the boys, don't you?"

Since the other night I have realized that I really need to work on the fact that I am not the only one involved in this pregnancy.  He may not be carrying the boys, but he is very interested in what is going on.  He loves these children no less than I do and also wants what is best for them.  Mr. W has gone above and beyond the call of duty in taking care of me for the past eight months.  He is as excited as I am about their arrival.  He is a good man, a smart and loving man, and will be a wonderful father.  I cannot continue to make decisions without him.

On another Mr. W and the boys front, he is wearing himself ragged.  He has worked so hard to get the house finished in time; he has worked so hard taking care of me; he has been pretty much the sole housekeeper and majority cook; he has taken on many extra duties at work.  Mr. W seems to be at the end of his seemingly endless energy.  The other morning he came home from PT (physical training, work required exercise, usually includes many miles of running and other exercises three times a week) and looked like death warmed over.  He actually had to pull off the road while he was coming home because he thought he was going to pass out.  Why?  Exhaustion.  Daily his coloring looks worse. 

I am so worried about him.  He won't stop or even slow down.  Yesterday went to work, took off of work to run me around to appointments, pushed me around in a wheelchair while we shopped (yes I require a wheelchair if I go shopping, walking any further than around my house or standing for more than a few minutes at a time is quite painful), came home and ran new A/V component wires through the wall, crawled under the house a few times to finish the wiring job, and swept the downstairs.  This was a slow day for him.  On any given day he works from 7am to 4pm or so, cleans the kitchen, cooks dinner, sweeps the downstairs, builds something or another and/or works on something for someone else, does laundry, takes breaks to play with our love-starved dogs, and waits on me hand and foot.   I try to do what I can so there's not as much for him to do, but I'm pretty limited.  Plus, he actually gets upset with me if I do more than he thinks I should.

The other week, when he was on 3rd shift but also having to go in during the day to do his extra duties, I was supposed to wake him up at 10am.  I knew he was very tired so I didn't bother him until almost noon.  I was out running errands, so luckily wasn't home to make sure he got up.  I got home sometime around 5pm and found him just waking up.  He had slept for 17 hours.  He didn't wake up to go to the bathroom or eat.  He didn't even remember me calling.  He had been asleep since about midnight the night before.

As I'm typing this Mr. W is gently snoring in the recliner where he fell asleep around 2pm.  I'm not waking him up until dinner is ready.  Hopefully after dinner I can keep him from starting on all the projects he told me earlier that he wanted to do today.  I know he's afraid that something won't get done before the boys get here (hello???  no one is going to be looking at our floors if they come over!), but what good will he be to them if he gets so worn down that he gets sick.  My poor baby.

So, if you've made it this far, and advice on (a) how to help Mr. W feel more involved (b) how to get me to quit being so self centered (c) how to get Mr. W to take a break?

37 week update (of sorts)

Well, the update is...there is nothing really to update. 

In the past three weeks my cervix has not changed enough to make note of.  Really?  Really.  It doesn't help that Baby A is laying transverse in the bottom of my uterus and Baby B is breach (as high up as he can get himself) on the my right side.  There's literally no help from the kids as far as the cervix goes.  I'm pretty sure they want out, though.  My belly looks eerily like it could lead to the scene in Alien most nights.  I'm convinced Baby B is trying to go-into-the-light (didn't I read they can see light through the belly).  I'm quite tempted to stick a flashlight down by my girly bits and see if maybe they don't come on down.

I'm thinking as positively as I can that this is best for the boys.  The more time they have checking out my insides equals less time they have checking out the inside of the hospital.  But don't mention this to me at 5:30 in the morning when I've given up on sleeping due to the discomfort and pain.  ;-)

I guess there is a little to update on.  I have been telling everyone, medical professionals and family, that my left leg is more swollen that my right.  Monday, when I went to my doctors' office for the swelling, they measured my calves and explained that they were the same size.  This is good.  Today I saw one of the MFM doctors and he said the same thing, but just to play it safe he wanted to send me to the hospital for an ultrasound on my legs to rule out a clot.  I'm really not sure what prompted him to do this since I have zero symptoms of a blood clot (legs do appear to be the same size, no pain, no redness, no numbness, no "heat"), but of course I complied.  I guess it's the Factor II mutation and family history.  FYI, if you're ever going for an u/s on your legs, wear some undies that cover your ass unless you're really proud of the shape of it.  Anyway, the technician that did my u/s confirmed what I've been saying.  My left leg IS more swollen that my right leg.  Yes, they measure the same and appear the same (except my left foot does look puffier), but they're not.  She had a hell of a time doing what she needed to on my left leg because of the extra fluid in it.  I'm right side dominant people!  The muscles in my right arm and leg are more developed than my left...it's natural!  But the good news is there are no clots.  She was super paranoid, and admitted this, and told me that if the swelling increases AT ALL to call my doctor IMMEDIATELY so they can scan them again.  The way I took this is, "If you notice the swelling getting worse than it has been, not worse than it is right now, but worse than it usually is by the end of the day, then call your doctor immediately.  If the swelling continues with it's normal trends, horrific at night and only scary in the mornings, continue with life as normal since you'll have your babies and your blood thinner next week anyway."  The funny thing is that my midwife told me on Monday to rest more to get the swelling to go down and the technician was adamant that I need to move more to get the swelling to go down.  Mr. W and I both agree that what the technician said makes much more sense.  Plus, I actually did a couple of things around the house and cooked dinner last night and it seemed to help. 

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Oooh!  I should update on the house!!!  The only things we have left are the little things!  Mr. W needs to touch up the nail holes in the baseboards, re-caulk some trim then touch up with paint, and balance one seriously noisy ceiling fan (I guess it throws a fan off balance if you hit it with a mattress).  We need to pick out accessories for the guest and master bathroom and decor for the living room.  We need to install shelves and rods in our closet (can't wait, he's agreed to really nice wooden organizer stuff!!!)  And that's it!!!

As far as the nursery goes, we still need one more set of bedding and the mobiles.  We also need to hang some banners that my sister made.  At some point we're going to install one of those wire closet organizer things, but it's not necessary quite yet.  After that, it's ready to be destroyed occupied by the boys!  Actually, I have no problem with it the way it is, but the rest of the house is falling together so beautifully so I want the nursery to do the same.

After so many years of working on a family and a house it's finally all coming together.  I. Am.  So.  Happy.  :-D

Your Slang vs My Slang

I learned something new today. 

I'd always known that saying something in the US and saying it in another country could get you different reactions, but today I received a great example.  Fanny.  This is a word that my mother will use on any given occasion when she needs to refer to someones ass.  It's always amused me because it seems like such a ridiculous word to use in place of butt/behind/patootie.  Of course this is my mom we're talking about and unless you cut her off in traffic (or you're my evil SIL) she bites her tongue and uses polite words.

Today I learned what "fanny" is slang for in other countries.  Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

Click the "keep reading" link below if you don't know what it means.

 

Poof!

That's what my body did the other day.  It went POOF!  I've been so swollen since Wednesday night that I finally called my doctor.  She had me come in and quickly determined that it's not preeclampsia.  My blood pressure is higher than it normally is, but not out of range, yet.  My urine is protein free and shows that I'm quite hydrated.  There seems to be no explanation for my hugeness except for the fact that I'm late in my third trimester. 

I explained that I've been trying everything I could think of to help.  I've lounged on my left side, I've kept my feet up, I've made sure to alternate walking around my house with staying seated, and I've hydrated hydrated hydrated.  To.  No.  Avail.  I've gained 4lbs in 5 days...water weight.

The swelling looks hilarious, but not being able to get my pants on is not.  If anyone has seen Wall-E, I pretty much look like one of the humans in the movie.  Especially when I'm walking.  (love that movie by the way!)  OK, so maybe my midsection looks a little different than the captain below, but the rest of me fits.  Seriously, it's comical!

I've been ordered to "rest more".  I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to do that since I do nothing but rest all day long.  I get up to get my blood circulating, to eat, and to go to the bathroom.  She also suggested I get some compression stockings, but I don't think I want to spend the money on them when I'll only be pregnant for about 10 more days.  Of course maybe I should since I've heard this can get even worse afterwards.  We'll see.

I didn't bother to have her check my cervix.  Last Wednesday I was 50% effaced and maybe a little more than a fingertip dilated.  I have my regularly scheduled appointment on Thursday so we'll see if there's been any change.

Oh yeah!  Baby B must be very smart!  He seems to have figured out that if he hides (as much as he can) behind my burn, he won't get poked.  The intern trying to get his heart rate was having a little bit of trouble because he was firmly tucked right behind my burn.  I tried to assure her that it was OK to place the doppler there, but she wouldn't do it.  It really does look worse than it is.  Of course, me being the freak that I am, the shock on her and the midwife's faces when I showed the the burn amused me.  I'm messed up!  ;-)

Keeping it bright and shiny

My burn is healing nicely.  It looks pretty nasty, but it doesn't hurt when my shirt or hand graze it anymore.  Now if only I could keep the boys from sticking body parts out of that area.  But at least I haven't gone into labor!  I can only imagine how it would feel to have regular contractions with this sucker (instead of the very few and very far between BH contractions).

I know I had to have said this at least a billion times, but Mr. W really is Mr. Wonderful.  My Christmas tree is now up and decorated!  This is the first time, according to him, that he has ever decorated a tree.  It's just not his thing.  He said, "You should be happy."  My response was, "Well, I know you love me.  And I am carrying your children."  Snicker.  I guess I better get all the use out of that statement while it lasts.  :-)

It's raining here, which is a bit gloomy because it's been nonstop since night before last.  You'd think someone had sprayed Mr. W's dog with something stinky, or possibly even acid.  You can hear her as soon as she hits the dog door from going outside.  She slides all over the floor (new pergo floors, they haven't quite adjusted to the lack of traction) making her way into the living room.  She immediately throws herself onto the floor face first and rolls around while scratching her face with her paws.  She jumps up and shakes once or twice then repeats the whole performance.  It's hilarious!  All of that drama from a little bit of water.  Hahahaha!!!

Tomorrow is 36 weeks.  :-)

Still thankful

I am very thankful that Mr. W picked out such wonderful and sensible carpet!  We had it installed a few months ago (the one thing that Mr. W wouldn't do himself) and it's looked good so far.

Just a few minutes ago Mr. W put it to the test.  He didn't take his shoes off before going upstairs and managed to track dog poo all over the carpet (the stairs and all three bedrooms).  He proceeded to grab a rag and quickly clean it up.  It didn't stain or even stick to the carpet!  I am so thankful for our PET carpet!

Of course he'll use the steam cleaner as soon as his family leaves (leave already people!!!).

Thanks-giving is not over

Today is the day after the holiday, but I am so thankful. 

Mel did a post called Mico-Thankfulness and it made me think even harder about the little things in life.

I am thankful for my beautiful girls.  My Megan and my Emma dogs.  I call them my "heathens", but they truly are wonderful animals.  Yes, Emma will shred any piece of paper she can find and Megan will curl up in any available cushioned furniture, if  you leave them unattended for too long downstairs.  If someone comes to the door all I have to do is tell them "Go outside" in a firm voice and they run out their dog door and wait until I call them back in.  These girls love me and my husband unconditionally and it shows.  We very much love them back. 

I am thankful for my kitchen appliances and gadgets.  I know this is an odd one, but when we moved into this house it was full of really old nasty appliances and I had to live with those for a while.  I'm not the best cook, but I truly enjoy it.  It's so nice to have an oven that keeps the chosen temperature.  Making a cake (or a meringue) is so much easier with the stand mixer that Mr. W gave me last year for Christmas.  I'm thankful for all of my wonderful bamboo mixing spoons and my lovely pots and pans.  They serve me so well and clean up so nicely!  I also love my insanely cheap yet super sharp knife set.

I am thankful for my aqua globes, which truly have made it easier to keep my houseplants alive.  I am thankful for my houseplants.  I have quite a few of them and they almost all have a special meaning.  There is the plant that I received from my first job in Charleston (my first job in my new life as I like to remember it).  There is the small peace lily that was in the house when Mr. W moved in; we have no idea how it was alive since the house had been vacant for over a year.  There are the corn plant, the large peace lily, and the schefflera from my Grandpa's funeral a few years ago.  There are the mother-in-law's tongue and the african violet from my Granny's funeral two years ago.  I have three plants that started out as cuttings from plants at my second job in Charleston.  I have two jade plants, one was a gift from my last boss for my birthday year before last and the other is a clipping from a clipping from a clipping (etc) from a plant I owned my senior year in high school.  I love my plants.

I am thankful that Mr. W doesn't mind cleaning.  When I began this post he was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher.  After he finished that, he brought me a glass of water.  For that I was extremely thankful.

I am thankful that my menomenamena tree twinkles!  (just found this out as we just put it up)  The twinkling lights are so cheery and calming.

I am beyond thankful for all of the support and friendship I have received since first being found by Farah and then finding her blog. 

There is so much more that I am thankful for, and I plan on writing more posts, but for now I'll leave it at this.  Thank you!

Cooking Lesson & The Plot Thickens

The Plot Thickens:

J, from this most recent post, is now married.  Her and A had a little ceremony at A's house last night.  I was given less than 24 hours notice that she wanted me to walk down the hallway (her aisle) before her.  She also asked me to dress up.  Hahahaha!!!  I explained that I would wear the least casual of the two pair of pants and two shirts that still fit.  It turned out very sweet even as disorganized as it was.  I still say that, in her shoes, I'd probably make the same decision, but I hope she knows what she's doing. 

Cooking Lesson - Mashed Potatoes (pay close attention beginning with step 4)

1. Peel Potatoes


2. Put potatoes in pot with a little crushed garlic and cover with water


3. Bring to a boil for 20 minutes or until fork tender


4. Instead of draining the boiling water into the sink, pour it on your belly and feet


5. Immediately freak out about unborn children


6. Once pain sets in (per husband this takes about 5 seconds from the sound of the water hitting the floor) scream multiple profanities and repeat "Oh, God!" at least a dozen times as the tears begin to stream down your face


7. Place cold compress on belly and rush to call on-call doctor


8. Find out boiling water doesn't hurt unborn babies, but does hurt you


9. Realize toes are also in excruciating pain and place ice pack on them


10. Instruct husband on adding milk, butter, salt and pepper to drained potatoes


11. Sit on couch with compress and cold pack as husband uses hand mixer to mash potatoes


12. Enjoy!  (the potatoes, not the severe pain as your children realize that the blistered side of your belly is once again safe for them)

 Now for the picture proof that I did this insanely clumsy and stupid thing.

 

 

 

 

And a 35 weeks 2 days picture (sorry for the lack of a shirt...blisters and material just aren't fun right now).

Updated this morning:

Graco + Graco = WTF?

Just a quick note to all twin-moms-to-be:

If you get the Graco Pack N Play Portable Playard/Twins Bassinet, don't buy any Graco Pack N Play sheets for it.  They.  Don't.  Fit.  WTF?  And until I did about 20 minutes of research, I couldn't find where anyone had mentioned that the mattresses weren't "average" size.  Seriously people!!!  And if you go to the Graco site, you can't get the proper sheet there because they no longer carry it.  But they still sell the playard.  Jackasses.

Appointment Update and Schedules

In bullets because I'm that tired right now.  :-)

•  I seriously love my midwife.  I think she could tell me that I'm going to have to inject myself every day for six weeks and I'd still be happy and smiling.  Wait...she did tell me that and I did remain happy and smiling.  More on that in a second, though.  I just want the world to know that this woman rocks and makes almost every single visit a pleasure!


• My cervix is softening.  I'm a fingertip dilated on the outside, but still 1.5 cm long.  She said she couldn't tell about the inside because someone had a butt planted down there (Baby A).


• I'm scheduled for the first procedure of the morning for December 11.  I can't believe how excited I am to having something on the schedule!  This is, of course, just a back-up plan in case the boys don't decide to come before then.  I'll be honest and say that I'd like to naturally go into labor anytime before then (even right before would be OK).  I'd just like my body to be aware that it's about to lose its occupants before they're ripped out.  I know that a C-section will be a necessity with them both being breech, and I'm really OK with that now.


• It is documented in my file that I have the Prothrombin Factor II gene mutation, so they want me to do Lovenox injections for 6 weeks after my C-section.  This is a precautionary measure because I don't have a history of blood clots.  But of course my Dad didn't have a history when he had his appendectomy, and that didn't stop him from throwing multiple blood clots to both lungs afterwards (hell of a way to find out you have a gene mutation).


• The nurse working with me and the boys from my NST this morning stated that breech babies were usually much easier to monitor.  I think she jinxed herself!  She spent almost an hour sitting right beside me moving, twisting, and pushing on the monitor for Baby B.  He's a sensitive little guy, and does not like to be touched.  She commented on how she could actually feel him pushing the monitor away  (not kicking, but pushing).  Over the hour period she managed to get a cumulative 10 minutes of baseline monitoring for him and quite a few accelerations.  Baby A, on the other hand, stayed put and did exactly what he was supposed to.  This is such a change from how they normally are (We barely have any good u/s shots of Baby A due to the fact that he is so uncooperative).


• I can only imagine what babies are thinking when they stick the little vibrator thingy against them to wake them up.  "What the hell?!?!  What was that for?!?!"  Baby A had apparently gone to sleep and she wanted one more acceleration, and needed a few more for Baby B, so she stuck the vibrator thingy by him.  He immediately jerked and had an acceleration.  Poor kid.  Ha-ha!


• I finally felt (and knew what I was feeling) one of the little guys have the hiccups.  I don't feel Baby A as much as Baby B due to his positioning, but today the nurse pointed out that he had the hiccups.  I could hear the static on the machine every time he hiccuped then realized I was feeling a little tap in my lower abdomen at the same time.  It made me smile.  :-)


• Today was a very wonderful appointment.  My questions were answered.  I didn't feel rushed through like a head of cattle.  I have a date on the calendar.  I am a very happy camper right now!

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I really want to start a few posts on things that I am blessed with.  I read a post the other day and it's had me thinking since then.  I am very blessed, and not just with this pregnancy, but with so much more.  It's about time I acknowledge this.  Heads up for sappy posts about the things in my life I'm thankful for (besides my new bottle of Tums)!

Her suckage continues

Almost two weeks ago I wrote about my friend J (post is here).  Her and A have gotten an update.  Stage 4 cancer.  A softball size tumor in his head that has eaten the bone in the front of his face.  6-9 weeks of chemotherapy followed by a very serious surgery involving facial reconstruction followed by 6-9 weeks of radiation.  His chances of making it through the surgery are not very high, and if he does survive the surgery they give him a very small chance of ever making it off the ventilator.  If he survives the surgery and beats the cancer he has a high chance of being disfigured and having speech and vision problems.  His doctors told him to get the things done that he wanted to do before he died.

She is devastated.  But on the tail of this devastation she has some odd hope.  He finally told her that he wants to marry her and wants her to have his child.  He can delay the beginning of his chemo long enough to try one natural TTC cycle.  He's also going to freeze some of his guys in case it doesn't work this month.  He's had over five years to make a serious commitment to J and he chooses what could be his last months on earth to do it?

I question his intentions.  Of course when you're told that you're more than likely dying, you don't want to die alone and you don't want to die without leaving a legacy.  He's told her that if he doesn't make it, that she and the baby would be very well taken care of (financially).  But who would support her emotionally?  She barely has any family left.  His family is pretty emotionally screwed up (as in vacant). 

Of course, I support her in whatever decision she makes.  I know how much she loves A and has dreamed of marrying him and having his children.  I gave her a crash course in TTC and offered any support I can give her.  Now we just see what happens.

Wherefore art thou?

3 bottles of Tums have gone missing in my house.  3 over 1/2 full bottles.

I try to assure Mr. W that the bottle is left on the counter/end table is because I need it frequently.  Apparently I don't need it frequently enough for Mr. W.  He keeps "cleaning up" and misplacing them. 

Oh how I wish I had my tums right now!

************** UPDATE **************

Because you all wanted an update, right?  ;-)

I'm now waiting on Mr. W to wake up so I can nag sweetly beg ask him to go to the store and buy yet another bottle of Tums.  The Zantac alone just isn't helping!  I know he's only been asleep for about 5 hours, but my stomach and throat are in jeopardy here!  If only I had a clean shirt that would cover the vastness of my belly I'd go myself.  But my one fitting shirt is dirty.

AND HE JUST WOKE UP!!!!!  (really, as I was typing this I heard him get out of bed)  Let the pleading begin!

************** UPDATE **************

He rocks!  I know have Tums in my tummy.  Let's hope this helps.

Mr. W also talked to the offending child that was shoving his head into my stomach.  That seemed to help a tiny bit.  :-)

Autumn? Is that you?

I just heard the most glorious sound. The sound of the wind blowing the leaves around on the street. I love Autumn! And now it seems to have officially come to Charleston!

I know some of you are saying, "WTF???  It's mid-November!"  But in all reality it's 76 degrees right now as I type this.  Last night my air conditioning was running just to keep me cool enough to sleep (granted I seem to be hotter than usual in my state, but it's still too humid with the heat for me to sleep without a/c). 

I can look out my windows right now and see leaves scattered across my (still very green) lawn.  If I look down the road I can see some actual color in the trees!  Of course what's truly odd about this is to also see the color of the flowers blooming everywhere. 

You know, even having lived here for 5 years, I just can't get used to the odd seasons.  But I do love the fact that if we do have "Winter", it usually only lasts a couple of weeks and isn't cold enough for me to even buy an actual coat!  Plus, my blue-girl rose blooms from early spring until late November!

 

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Speaking of my rose bush...does anyone out there know anything about roses?  I've got a horrible problem with black spot on all of my plants (once again, the Charleston climate has it's drawbacks), and it's almost killed everything I've ever planted.  My rose bush is suffering horribly and has no foliage growing below the end of the stems/branches.  I know that if I seriously cut the whole thing back (like within two feet of the ground) that it will grow back, but does anyone know when the best time to do this would be?  Right now the plucky little thing is trying to bloom (mold and fungus be damned)!

Appt Update & Picture

Today I had my "34 week" appointment.  This included my (hopefully) last growth scan. 

The boys both look wonderful.  I wasn't pleased with the u/s tech, though.  I'd gotten spoiled by having the same tech for the past couple of appointments and had forgotten just how different each tech does things.  My last tech measures a little more liberally.  I guess that's why both boys were in the 66th percentile.  But this tech, she was wayyy conservative with Baby A and pretty much in the middle with Baby B.  She stated that Baby A is in the 38th percentile now (how does his growth change that much in 4 weeks?  And I did voice my concern, but she said it was normal.  WTF?) and weighs about 4lbs 12oz.  She stated that Baby B is in the 50th percentile and weighs about 5lbs 2oz (That sounds normal to me since they are running out of room).  This is the first appointment that the boys weren't within an ounce or two of each other.  But, like I said, I watched while she was measuring and she was seriously conservative with Baby A's measurements. 

It was amazing to watch the boys practive breath!!!  To see their little chests moving up and down and their little diaphrams...it was sooo cute!  Of course they're stubborn little guys and, although they've moved, they haven't moved the way I'd like.  They're now both breech. 

I met a doctor today that I've never seen before.  Of course he walks into the room, "Hey!  It's been a while since we've seen each other!"  Really?  We've never met, but whatever, I'll undress from the waist down and let's get this over with.  He did my strep-B test then a cervix check (I swear it took forever).  My cervix has gone from 5cm to about 1.5cm.  He was in and out of the room before I even had a chance to ask one question.  And since it looks like I'm headed for a C-section, I had questions.  Oh, well.  They made sure and put me on my favorite persons list (love my midwife) for next week!  I also start NSTs next week.

I'm fairly disappointed with the results of todays appointment.  I'm happy with how the boys are doing.  I love feeling them wiggling around all the time.  I'm happy that my cervix is just now starting to shorten (and not dilate, yet).  But I'm not quite as ready to hear that I'm more than likely headed for a C-section as I thought I was.  It's about what's best for the boys, though.  I know there is the chance that Baby A will still flip, but it's not too likely according to the doctor. 

Without further ado...here's some pics (even an ugly one to show just how pretty stretch marks can be).

  

We're well acquainted

While reading through my blogroll this morning I found a quiz from Nancy.  Question #4 reminded me of a funny questions Mr. W asked me last night.

"How do you wipe?"

He was serious, too.  I haven't posted a picture recently, but the belly is huge.  And by huge I mean please-pass-the-muumuu-'cause-nothing-else-fits!  My response?

"Um...I don't have to see where I'm wiping.  I kind of know where my cooch is.  We're pretty well acquainted."

Guys can be so ridiculously funny!

33 Weeks

Today marks 33 weeks.  I cannot believe that I am 33 weeks pregnant with twins.  I cannot believe I'm pregnant.  I'm still in awe of where I am right now.

This Thursday I have my final growth scan.  I'm expecting both boys to weigh five plus pounds (this would be keeping with their past two growth scans).  This is the scan that will pretty much decide if I'm bound for a C-section.  I really don't think that Baby A has turned into a good position since I felt him poking out opposite sides of my belly the other night (consequently causing me to have a contraction.  I tried to explain to him that if he pushes on the uterus it pushes back.  He didn't listen).  I'm not excited about the thought of surgery, but I'll do whatever it takes to get these boys out safely.

Speaking of getting these boys out...I'm about to jinx myself, but...I really feel that I've only got about two weeks (or less) left before these kids are coming.  I could be completely wrong on this one (good God please don't let me go to induction!), but it just feels like it's getting close.  The amount of contractions I've been having has increased drastically.  If I'm on my feet for more than 10 or so minutes I start contracting.  If I'm not laying on my left side by a certain time at night I start contracting.  Almost every night I have some cramping in my lower abdomen.  I guess I'll find out Thursday if all this activity has had any effect on my cervix.

Don't get me wrong, I want these two to stay in until they're healthy enough to come out.  I'm also very very very grateful to have gotten as far as I have with little to no issues.  I am very blessed.

***edited***

Mr. W says that he'll be surprised if I go past the middle of next week.

Justifiable Homicide?

My neighbor was hammering on something (outside, not in his house) at 7:45 this morning.  I threw on my robe as quickly as possible so I could waddle my ass outside to promptly chew his, but he was back inside before I got outside.  I am still fuming right now.  I know this sounds like such a minor thing, to be woken up shortly before eight, but I rarely manage to sleep past 5 or 6 anymore.  Of course, there is also the noise ordinance in our neighborhood (quiet hours are between 10:00 pm and 8:00 am).

I will see this loser bastard at some point and I hold a grudge way too well.

How does one person deserve so much horrible luck?

When I moved to Charleston, the first people I met were J & A.  They took me in and introduced me to more people.  They made me feel at home.

Over the years, as I'd moved around a bit and our interest diverged, we grew apart.  But J was always there if I needed her and I've always done my best to be there for J.

Last winter J called me sounding on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  She'd begun having anxiety attacks and didn't have anyone else to talk to about it.  Her closest friend told her to check herself into an institution (come on!  for anxiety attacks!  first thing is they won't take you...trust me.  second thing is, they're anxiety attacks, not hallucinations or voices).  She was scared and I was as there for her as I could be.

About a month later J went to a doctor due to a "sinus infection" she'd had for over 3 months.  It turns out that the majority of her anxiety and her sinus infection symptoms were being caused by polyps in her sinuses.  The polyps were pressing against her brain and eating away at her skull.  She was given a price tag for a necessary surgery that was way beyond anything she could come up with in a timely manner.  She has no insurance and a poor paying job.

While J was saving money for her surgery, her car broke down.  Mr. W managed to keep it running for her, but to truly get it fixed she'd have to fork out almost a grand.

Within a couple of weeks J called again.  Her father died suddenly of a massive heart attack.  J's mother did not handle it well, she has a multitude of health problems.  The night of J's father's receiving, J called again.  Her mother was in the hospital and they weren't sure if she was going to survive the night. 

J's mother missed her husband's funeral, but managed to pull through.  J had to put her mother in a nursing home (J's mother is in her early 50's).  J had/has no place to live and her boyfriend (A) was/is not supportive.

The only good news in the story:  J finally managed to scrape together the money for her surgery and it went off without a hitch!  All of the polyps were removed!  Her anxiety decreased drastically and her sinus issues cleared up almost completely!

Over the next few months J's mother went downhill.  She has no will to live and it's only a matter of time before her body gives out.  J is heartbroken, but knows that her mother wants to be with her father.

Night before last J stayed at A's house.  She awoke in the middle of the night to strange noises coming from A.  He was having a grand mal seizure.  She called 911 and rolled him onto his side.  She saved his life.  He had chewed up his tongue pretty badly and was choking on his own blood.

Yesterday A was kept in the hospital because the seizures continued and he had developed a fever.  They did a range of tests.  This morning the doctor's informed them that he has a cancerous tumor in his brain.  They're going to transfer him to MUSC (same hospital I'll deliver at) so he can receive the best treatment.  That's all the know right now.

Seriously...how does one person have so many horrible things happen in their life all within one year???

Any prayers, good vibes, good thoughts, chicken dances, anything for J & A would be greatly appreciated right now.  This poor woman needs something in her life to get better.

Voting in bullets

Yay me!  I voted!

• I arrived at the polls @ 6:45 this morning


• At 9:00 a poll worker came out and informed us that they weren't checking anyone in because they were full.  (Full???)  Their process was to check you in, give you a number, escort you to the auditorium where you would wait until your number was called.  Then you would wait in line for your turn at the polls.  The auditorium holds 400 people.  In 2 hours they hadn't been able to move even 1/2 of those people through?  I'd only moved all of 1,000 feet in two hours.  (Mr. W just informed me that 1,000 feet is 1/5 of a mile.  I'd moved a maximum of 200 feet)


• At 9:05 another poll worker was explaining the same thing but also informed us that 3 of the 9 machines had broken.  This caused a serious stirring among the crowd (read:  some people grumbled, but others started yelling about it trying to get people as riled up as they were).


• At 9:30 I had almost made it to the door of the school.  I would probably have to wait at least another 30+ minutes to even be checked in and given a number.


• At 9:30 a really nice woman (voter, not poll worker) walked up to me and told me that her husband had spoken with the curbside voting worker and he agreed to let me do curbside voting.


• At 9:35 I found my way to curbside voting and the attendant begrudgingly allowed me to vote.  (He obviously wasn't too fond of letting me vote this way since I didn't have a handicap placard.)


• At 9:45 I was the proud owner of 3 "I Voted" stickers!  The guy that checked me in was nice enough to give me a sticker for each of the babies' books.  :-)

After all of that I ran through a drive through for second-breakfast (I feel like a hobbit, but I was starving again!) then headed home.  By 10:00 I was asleep on my couch where I remained until my Mom called and woke me up at 1:30.  Now I sit and wait for the results!

ADDED:

So all the people that were in line @ 7:00 (as long as they're willing to wait) still get to vote.  Which means that SC probably won't be done reporting their votes until sometime next week!  We're such a backwards freaking state!!!!  I've noticed from other blogs that no one else seems to have had issues with lines that were many hours long.  WTF???

Bean & Cabbage Stew (vegetarian recipe)

Bean & Cabbage Stew

• 1 tbs oil (I use 2 tbs of olive oil)


• I large onion chopped


• 3 med potatoes peeled and cubed


• 3 med carrots sliced


• ½ tsp caraway seeds (I use 1/4 tsp.  caraway seeds are sssstrong!)


• 2 ½ cup veggie broth


• 4 cups cabbage chunks


• 1 cup frozen peas


• 1 can great northern beans


• 1 tsp salt


• 1/4 tsp black pepper

1. Heat oil in large skillet (I use a large pot).


2. Add onion potato and carrots.  Cook until lightly brown, about 10 min.


3. Add caraway seeds and sauté for one minute.


4. Add broth and cook until carrots are almost tender, 7 to 10 min.


5. Add cabbage and peas and cook 10 minutes, covered.


6. Add beans salt & pepper and cook 5 more min, uncovered.

Check veggies and seasonings and serve!

Taste even better the next day!

Dirty Little Secrets

Brianne @ Gibson Twins tagged me for the Dirty Little Secrets meme.  Basically I'm just going to reveal a few dirty little secrets.  I'm not parenting, yet, so I'm sure my secrets will change a little later on, but here goes!

1. I hate to dust.  I just cannot stand it!  I think it's because I have to move every little thing off of every piece of furniture to get it done.  Maybe if we didn't put anything on the tables or mantle, I'd be better, but I'm not.  Thank God Mr. W is so good at it!


2. I will not hand wash a dish unless absolutely necessary.  I grew up without a dishwasher (unless you count me and my siblings) and remember dreading having to wash dishes.  My sister feels the same way as I do.  I even found out that I can put my electric skillet in the top rack of my dishwasher!!  (Plus, I feel the dishes get so much cleaner if they go through the machine.)


3. I try to con Mr. W into doing a lot of the housecleaning.  The man is so good at cleaning floors, dusting, and other simple tasks that I just can't help myself!  I'll admit to you guys that I've taken advantage of my pregnancy to get out of all sorts of household chores.  I better enjoy it while it lasts!


4. I will not go anywhere unless I've had a shower, but I have been known to forget to brush my teeth.  Don't ask me how one forgets to brush their teeth, but I do.  Well, actually, since I've gotten my braces I haven't forgotten to brush my teeth.


5. I've read this one on most everyone else's list, but I hate putting away laundry.  I can get all of my laundry done in one day, but it will all end up piled on the guest bed until I get around to putting it away.  I usually end up putting it away right before it's time to do laundry again.

So now that everyone thinks I'm as gross as gross can be, it's your turn!  I'm tagging anyone that reads this!

Ouch

"Well at least I was man enough to do it without drugs!"

This was the comment that Mr. W heard at work today as the room busted out in laughter.  One of his co-workers just found out he is having twins and apparently he's turned it into some sort of competition.  WTF?  This comment, needless to say, pissed Mr. W off.  His response?

"You need to educate yourself.  If you had any clue at all you'd know the man has nothing to do with it anyway."  The room got very quiet.

Mr. W didn't realize that retelling the story to me would bring tears to my eyes.  I reminded him of the fact that the only reason we needed drugs was because my body wasn't working properly.  There was nothing wrong with him in the first place.

Guys can be such douche bags. (I'm not upset with Mr. W...just his douche bag co-workers.)

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An older comment heard at Mr. W's job when it was announced that we were having two boys:

From the boss with only girls, "Yeah, that's just because you weren't man enough to knock the balls off of 'em!"

That one cracked me up!

Quote of the day

"I work on fucking jet engines for a living.  Installing a carseat should not be this difficult!!!" ~ Mr. W

Doctor's Appointments?

At what point in a twin pregnancy do most people start seeing their OB weekly? 

I know this pregnancy is going pretty damn smoothly, but it doesn't look like they'll start weekly appointments with me until I hit 35 weeks.  The midwife and ultrasound technician both think I'll go into labor by then!  WTF?  I have another appointment this coming Thursday so I'm going to flat out ask her why I'm not being seen weekly, yet.  I also want to know why they're not planning on starting NSTs or BPPs until 35 weeks.  Sure my cervix still measured 5cm at 29 1/2 weeks, but the boys are big!  Approximately 3lbs 9oz each..66th percentile.  That's one to two weeks ahead.  Luckily their fluid levels are back to normal, though.  But still!

Plus, I think I'm having contractions at night.  I wake up 2-4 times a night due to pain in my hips, abdomen, and belly.  I've mentioned before that I've got an issue with that gotta-go sensation so I don't typically wake up at night until my bladder is wayyyy too full.  I think this is contributing to whatever is going on with my uterus at night.  And of course, only laying on one side or another is causing the hip pain.  But it's the pain in my belly that's concerning me.

Oh well.  Like I said, I'm going to talk to my doctor about it next week.  Or if things get worse at night, I'll call and talk to her.

Visitors...yay.

My MIL and her Mom are in town.  Don't get me wrong, I very much like my mother-in-law, but...  Of course there's a but in there.

Last night we all ended staying up until 1:00 am.  I was already exhausted and had been trying to go to bed for a couple of hours, but didn't want to be rude when she was still telling me stories.   Then I wake up this morning a little before 6:00 and can't get back to sleep because I keep hearing water.  A toilet flushes.  Water runs somewhere.  A toilet flushes again.  Water runs somewhere else.  My first thought was "We're not eating Sonic's again for a while!"  Then my stomach started to rumble so I decided to venture to the kitchen for a quick snack, then back to bed.

Guess what I found downstairs.  If you guessed my MIL cleaning the bathrooms, you're right.  She'd been up for almost an hour already.  While I greatly appreciate the cleaning help, I am a very light sleeper and the cleaning could have waited until a more decent hour.

At least she waited until 8 to start cooking breakfast (which I'd mentioned making the night before...but again...the help is appreciated).

Can I just tell you all how happy I am to not have caffeinated coffee in my house?  Could you imagine this woman hyped up?  (As I type all of this Mr. W is installing baseboard in the kitchen...see where he gets his work ethic and energy level?)

Oh yeah, remember my whiny post about my MIL coming when the boys are born?  Well, Mr. W's apparent way of handling this was by mentioning in passing to his mother this morning that my Mom is coming for a week when the boys are born.  Um...I don't think she'll even think about that when she's ready to visit.  I've never had anyone in his family actually ask if there was any reason they couldn't stay with us.  They usually just give us 24 or less hours worth of notice that they're on their way.  Ugh.

Just in my MIL's defense, although I'm bitching right now I'm happy to see her and even happier that her Mom was able to come.  Mr. W's Mammaw has never seen our house.  He is flat ecstatic to have her here and that makes me very happy.

Now if only I can figure out how to get my house quiet enough for me to get a nap.  My baby shower is at 2 and I'm mean without sleep.

[polldaddy poll=1013625]

Maternity Pics

Click on any picture to see it.  Click on it again and it gets even bigger!

[gallery]

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce its incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps:

Step 1. Write your Representative!!
-Follow this link to get instructions on how to write your Representative asking them to co-sponsor this bill.  The more co-sponsors the bill has, the more likely it is to pass.  Please note, this is for the House of Representatives only.  Do not contact your Senators at this time.

Step 2. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others
-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.

GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 3. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others
-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.

GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 4. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act
-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."

GOAL: 1,000,000Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

Screw you blogger!

Blogger isn't working so none of my comments are saving.  Grrrrrr....

I am slow (and update and non-pg question)

No really, I am.  I've been having mid and upper back pain for over a week now that, at times, is horrible.  I blamed it on everything from not moving enough to heartburn.  I finally figured out what was causing it.  Both boys have turned transverse.  They both have their heads on my left side and their feet on my right side (duh...if their heads are on one side and they're transverse...).  Baby A is sitting as low as he can go; my bladder and cervix don't love him.  Baby B on the other hand is as high as he can go, i.e. he is attempting to relocate my lungs and ribcage.  It just hit me today that when my breathing is most difficult and my ribs are hurting the worst, my back begins to hurt.  It really took me this long to figure out that when Baby B is pushing out on my ribs, my back (you know...the part connected to these same ribs) hurts.  I'm now reduced to laying propped up with pillows for many hours, breathing as deeply as possible (to push him) and physically pushing down on his little bottom as it pokes at my ribcage.  I love these little boys but would be much happier with them if they would turn a little.  Or at least use their available uterus space (what's up with my damn near empty middle ute?).  Crazy kids.

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Thank you all so much for your support on my last post.  It meant a lot to me to know that you were all thinking of me. 

I had an appointment with my midwife (love her, BTW) yesterday.  She spoke with the MFM and he is pretty convinced that the only reason the boys have extra fluid is because "they're big babies and big babies make more fluid".  And apparently it's not a phenomenal amount of extra fluid anyway.  The chance of fraternal twins both having a genetic or structural defect is so slim that it's been ruled out.  The chance of infection is less than 5% so he allowed me to have some blood-work done to rule it out and ease my mind (thank you doc!).  Mr. W's take on the situation is that everyone in his family is on the small side and everyone in my family is very average so our boys want to prove them all wrong and be big.  Of course, as he says, no one will believe they're his kids if they break 5'10" (he's 5'5").  Haha!

There had been a decrease in movement from both boys over the days preceding my appointment so I mentioned it to them.  Apparently this is something that I was supposed to call about immediately.  I wasn't that concerned, though. 

I was almost positive that the boys had turned (and were transverse).  Baby A was head down at the previous appointment and Baby B was breech.  I knew that Baby A had turned breech a few days later because I could feel his super kicks in my cervix (ooouuuuccchhh!!!!).  A couple of days later everything felt different and I no longer felt strong kicks anywhere, nor was I feeling any movement the same...but I could tell they were still in there.

Anyway, they did a quick scan and revealed that they boys had indeed turned sideways so their kicks were flying into Baby B's placenta instead of into my soft spots.  Just to err on the  of caution they hooked me up to the monitors to make sure they were behaving as they should at this time.  I was a little miffed about their turning until they hooked me up because I didn't know which baby was which anymore.  When they tried hooking the lower baby up, he showed that he was Baby A just by how uncooperative he was.  It took the nurse a total of 15 minutes to get him hooked up.  (she tried for 10 minutes the first time, gave up, hooked up Baby B, tried for 5 more minutes, then finally got him.)  Baby B was as cooperative as ever.  He stayed in place and had the proper accelerations just like the good boy he is.  Baby A, little devil he can be, didn't have an acceleration for almost 20 minutes.  Of course, to show up his brother I'm sure, he threw a little party at that time.

So my discomfort aside, everything is going very well!  The boys are doing wonderfully.  I went to visit my parents and friends in Asheville and had a good time (and relaxed) last week.  Then I drove to Charlotte and visited my Grandma who wasn't doing well; it was a wonderful visit.  My Grandma smiled so big and was so happy to see me.  She also enjoyed seeing the boys ultrasound pictures (now up on her picture board).  I even managed to convince my brother to drive to Charlotte and see her so we now have a picture of the three of us (haven't had us all in front of a camera together since my wedding).  Mr. W will be home either late tonight or early tomorrow morning.  Life is pretty damn good!

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OMG!  Anyone have experience with a dog with allergies?  I'm pretty sure my Australian Shepherd mix has allergies and don't know what to do.  I've switched her food to a grain-free fish based food and it seems to have helped a tiny bit, but not completely.  She got fleas at my Aunt's house (grrrrr) so I've given her medicine, but she won't quit scratching.  She has pulled out so much of her hair from the base of her tail...it's so sad.  My poor little girl is miserable!  She will run from spot to spot in the house trying to find a spot where she can get away from the itch.  It's like something is constantly biting her and she can't get away from it.  I've heard that her breed is sensitive, but this is getting out of hand.  My poor poor little girl.  :-(

I promised a non-PG related post, but...

I screwed up.  I had to google a condition so I could remember what it's called and now I'm filled with fear.  At my growth scan yesterday they found that both of the boys are suddenly measuring about a week ahead, where they've been pretty much on target (give or take a day) since the beginning.  Both boys also have hydramnios, excessive amniotic fluid.  I really just wanted to remember the name of the condition but of course couldn't stop myself from reading the possible causes once the googling had been done.  Twin to twin transfusion was long ago ruled out.  Gestational diabetes was ruled out yesterday.  Now the causes have left seem to be infections and chromosomal defects.  Fuck I'm scared.  But what's the chance they would both have the same infection or chromosomal disorder?  They're most definitely fraternal (we finally got good face shots of Baby A and he has a lot of my features while Baby B has always had more of Mr. W's features).

Either way it goes, I'm hormonal as hell so I'm scared pretty easily right now.  For example:  after my braxton hicks started last week it seemed that I wasn't feeling Baby B too much.  I silently freaked out for a week.  Yesterdays scan it revealed that Baby B had flipped and is now breach.  That explains why I didn't feel him as much.  But today was my last day at work and Mr. W is going out of town with work for two weeks beginning tomorrow.  I've got two weeks until my next scheduled appointment with my doctor.  I don't think the rational part of my brain is going to be able to hold out against the hormonal irrational side for two weeks while sitting home by myself all day and all night.  I'm going to email my midwife and find out what the next step is in this matter.  I have the distinct feeling that she's going to tell me I need to wait until my next growth scan (3 weeks instead of 4) to see if the excessive fluid and sudden growth is more/less/no change.

Another, quite possibly irrational, fear that I have is that they've moved my growth scan up by a week is because they're comfortable delivering twins at 30 weeks.  The comment was made to me that as long as they made it to 30 weeks then everything would be fine.  By whose definition?  Not by mine!  Sure, they're chance is pretty good, but still.  I'm worried that they're doing the scan at 30 weeks so if the condition hasn't improved or has worsened they can give me an amniocentesis without as much fear of preterm delivery killing the boys.  Again, this is probably an irrational fear.  A)  The chance of my water breaking due to an amnio is not that high B)  They probably moved my growth scan up to 30 weeks because of the fact that it's 30 weeks (instead of having it at 31 weeks).  I mean, my last scan is supposed to be at 34 weeks because they figure that I'll go any time after that.

I love these little lives inside of me more than I thought that I ever would.  I can't quit thinking about the what-ifs, but can't imagine my life without them.  I need some peace and some serenity.  If I can't get that, I guess I'll have to settle for some serious housecleaning and crocheting to preoccupy myself instead.  :-)