

Just a reminder. This too shall pass
Things haven’t been going to plan lately. Every time something I’ve been looking forward to happens, it is accompanied by a setback. We’re living in uncertain times, my own life has been additionally uncertain in the last 2 years or so. Brexit happened, then I discovered a lump in my breast and now Covid-19 is keeping me away from the things and people that I care about most.
I don’t know where I’ll be 5 months in the future, let alone 5 years. If I’ve learned anything from the uncertainty and setbacks that I’ve faced in the last two years, it is this: If you are unhappy, get out, move out and take action. But it took a lump in my breast to convince me that I could take the risk, and pursue something else. I’m currently working in a start-up. In the span of 3 months, I’ve been in meetings with CXO level people both within my organisation and my clients’. I work 15 hours, but so does the founder of the company. I dont know if this is where I intended to be when I started the year in 2020. I don’t know if I’ll be here at the end of 2020. But I do know that I’m now a lot more open to taking risks and experiencing new things than I was earlier. Remaining relevant is now something I look forward to rather than fear. And I think that’s one objective positive truth about my present that I can use to close this blog post!
Paul: I’m….sorry. Is he all right?
Holly: Sure. Sure. He’s okay. Aren’t you, Cat? Poor old Cat. Poor slob. Poor slob without a name. I don’t have the right to give him one. We don’t belong to each other. We just took up one day. I don’t want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I’m not sure where that is, but I know what it’s like. It’s like Tiffany’s.
Paul: Tiffany’s? You mean the jewelry store?
Holly: That’s right. I’m crazy about Tiffany’s. Listen. You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul: The “mean reds?” You mean, like the blues?
Holly: No. The blues are because you’re getting fat or it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid, and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Don’t you ever get that feeling?
Paul: Sure. Some people call it angst.
Holly: When I get it, what does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness, the proud look. Nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany’s, then… then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name…
Everyone should watch Breakfast at Tiffanys (or better, read it)
“I’ve made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty five days a year, I was still in elementary school at the time – fifth or sixth grade – but I made up my mind once and for all.”
“Wow,” I said. “Did the search pay off?”
“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”
“Waiting for the perfect love?”
“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”
“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.
“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are time in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”
“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”
“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. “Now I see, Midori. What a fool I have been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate Mousse? Cheesecake?”
“So then what?”
“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”
“Sounds crazy to me.”
“Well, to me, that’s what love is
Everyone should read Norwegian Wood too
I seem to buy more books than I can read. Which is ideal. I also seem to read more books than I can blog about. Which is less than ideal. I’ve managed to read Mrityunjaya, 1984, Norwegian Wood and Behind Closed Doors. But I’ve just not found time to write reviews. Two line reviews then.. …
Mrityunjaya is as amazing as it was the first time, when my mum read it to me. Must read for anyone interested in ‘the other side of the story’, and Indian mythology
It’s chilling how close 1984 is to today’s reality. A guaranteed one-sitting-read
Norwegian Wood is strange yet enticing like many other Murakami works. It takes some getting used to.
Behind Closed doors featured on my ‘you may also like’ list on Amazon and was an easy, predictable read. However, it was great to read a thriller after so many months of reading ‘serious’ stuff
These guys are the musical version of potato chips. You can’t listen to just one. Whattay discovery! Even if it is ‘so 2015’
Listen to The Dø – Miracles (Acoustic version – A Take Away Show by La Blogothèque) by Marion Bungert #np on #SoundCloud
My work and travel schedule has not allowed for much cinema-going these days, but I made an exception for the movie Pink. The initial reviews were raving about how everyone should watch this movie and take their friends too. The fact that Shoojit Sircar’s name was associated with it was certainly a contributing factor for me to go to the movies to watch this one instead of waiting for it to come on TV.
Now, I fully understand that a movie is only a commentary on the topic at hand. Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be a commentary and could just be an an artistic expression of a thought or a point of view. I fully understand that there need not be a ‘moral of the story’ or a ‘solution to the problem’ in a movie. Sometimes the storyteller only needs to broach the subject and leave the rest to the viewer’s imagination/discretion. But here’s my issue with the movie Pink: The movie’s second half is filled with rousing monologues and satirical one-liners in an attempt to portray to the viewer that ‘there is hope’. They ‘win’ the case at the end. Ironically, I left the theatre feeling more forlorn than hopeful.
Was that the emotion that the makers of this movie were targeting? Full marks to them for bringing up the subject, though.
Let’s explain where we are left off before the interval. The first half is an interesting set-up. Three women get into a dicey situation with 3 young men after a rock concert. The viewer doesn’t really know what happened, but the women make it home shaken but safe. From there, the misogynist, patriarchal mindset of certain men and society at large, that cannot comprehend a free-thinking woman’s lifestyle, is beautifully portrayed. Three schools of thought for dealing with such situations are wonderfully depicted through each of our 3 friends. The feisty one wants to fight the injustice, the pragmatic one attempts a diplomatic resolution and the moody one takes to her guitar and retreats into her shell. The story builds up to a point where, very convincingly, the women are at odds with the situation they are in, and are helpless. Blow after blow is delivered to their morale, and whatever brave facade they put up is methodically demolished. It’s an uncomfortable truth portrayed in the worst case scenario. The men in my up-scale theatre in Bangalore were feeling squeamish in their seats and there were many unconformable silences. It’s the 3 of them against the world- or so it seems till Amitabh Bachchan rises to the occasion.
Here’s where we are when we break for popcorn and to check our phones. At this point, I thought to myself, I’ll be disappointed if the second half only shows Amitabh as the superman who saves our damsels in distress. And unfortunately, that’s what the second half is. While is is not as straight forward as that, the gist of it is that their bipolar lawyer neighbour saves the day by fighting their case and delivering many thought-provoking, but monochromatic dialogues. I say monochromatic because it’s all one-sided. Yes, we get the loud and clear message – No means No. Even a husband cannot have sex with his wife without her consent, let alone some stranger who has just met the girl. And the fact that a woman is sexually active, wears certain clothes, is independent, lives away from her family, or is friendly with guys, should not be considered an invitation or a certificate for ‘looseness’. We get it. But is it really as simple as that?
My main issue with this movie is: what about the women who don’t find an Amitabh Bachchan? What about women who are not lucky enough to find a saviour? What is this movie telling me about those cases? There is a feisty quality in one of the girls. She loses all confidence in the first half and is trapped. If the movie would have somehow shown that the introduction of this one strong male character brings the grit and confidence back in her, I’d have been so much happier with the outcome. And more importantly, the metro-sexual men who where watching this movie in Bangalore were perhaps made uncomfortable by the strong message of the movie, but did the movie drive this point home in the rest of India? I read an article by a girl who travelled to her native town in North India and watched this movie in a local cinema. Her account of things states that the men only jeered and laughed through the movie, and mouthed the bleeped out ‘Randi’ in the same entitled misogynistic attitude that the movie has tried to mock!
Maybe I’ve misunderstood the whole point of the movie. Maybe leaving the viewer unsettled and forlorn is the idea. Because that’s certainly the reality of our world today. Not more than a week ago, while walking to the bus-stop near my home, I encountered a young man who locked eyes with me and wouldn’t look away. I looked at him angrily as he passed by me and he gave me the ‘come hither’ version of eyebrow raising. I stopped in my tracks, turned around and asked him for his mothers number. He walked away after that looking at me as if I was off my rocker. It may seem like a simple thing, but why do men feel that if a woman is looking at them in the eye it’s flirtatious? Why are women taught to lower their eyes with fear? Why are men not taught to lower their eyes with respect? It was a meaningless event, but it left me fuming a long time after my bus had pushed off toward office. I’m no feminist, but this silly event made me as angry as I was as a child, being admonished by my mother for putting my little finger in my ear in public. What if it’s seen as a symbol for ‘penetration’ by the men watching me? Only this time, it was my husband telling me not to lock eyes with such people. ‘Look away’, and don’t invite trouble.
Coming back to the movie, could there have been a better way of showing a ‘win’ than just a lawyer pulling the helpless women out of their misery? Could there have been a more just counter-filing of a case against the 4th man who, even if not involved in the initial incident, enjoyed showing a woman her place by molesting her? And what happens after the win? Do his friends just let the women be? Does everything go back to being handy dandy? Then there is the issue of sensibility. I may sound like one of the men in the movie when I say this, but how moral are girls who willingly go with 3 strangers to their private rooms in a resort after a rock concert? Perhaps the movie uses this extreme as a way to show that regardless of the girls own morality, consent is required. Even if the girl is a prostitute, she can change her mind and withdraw her consent. Fair enough. But in the process of doing that are you not painting all ‘working women’ with the same brush? Are you inadvertently saying that a so called ‘free-thinking woman’ is forgiven all sins because rape is still rape? Is is really too archaic of me to think ‘They should have known better’? Sure, ‘It was a mistake’ and they should not be punished for it, but are we going a bit too far with the changed ideals of the modern woman? But then the story of a middle class working mother who is harassed in her work-place, and doesn’t do anything about it, would not have made for such a shocking and riveting story. In the end, how ‘Pink’ are we really?