Alphabet Writing Exercise: Begin the first sentence with A and each sentence with the corresponding letter after that until you get to Z.

Plot – Marcy is calling to set up an appointment with a therapist. 

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Anticipation of this phone call has weighed on Marcy Albright all day. Before she felt comfortable calling a therapist, her coworker recommended, she felt compelled to google his credentials. Charles, “Chuck”, Mattingly was a licensed counselor with twenty-five years of experience working with people who had prolonged grief; Marcy felt the need to know something about the person she would allow to poke around inside of her head. Dialing his number was easy but dealing with the grief of losing her mother seemed impossible. Exactly six months ago Marcy received a call from her mother’s nurse that Evelyn Moore had passed peacefully in her sleep. Frankly, that had been how Marcy had hoped her mother would pass on. Gently and without pain is the best she could have hoped for but the cancer had taken so much; Marcy did not want a peaceful death to be one of those things.  

Half way across the room Marcy was pacing and working up the courage to make an appointment with Charles. Inevitably, she knew she would make the appointment but fear held her back. Just as she dialed his number, she took a deep breath and then Charle’s booming voice answered the phone. “Kindred Spirit Counseling Services, this is Chuck speaking. How may I help you?” spouted Charles. Licking her lips to settle her nerves, Marcy stammered “Ah, yes, my name is Marcy and I was hoping to set up an appointment with you? Are you taking new patients?”. “Mmh, I see, yes I am taking on new folks at this time” Charles advised, “What do you need to be seen for?”. Nodding his head while writing, Charles jotted down Marcy’s hasty explanation of needing to be seen for grief related to the passing of her mother. “On the one hand, I feel like I have to talk to someone about losing my mother. It’s been six months and it feels like I just lost her” Marcy said deflatingly. Pleasantly, Charles responded “Marcy grief has no expiration date and many people feel that way after a loved one passes away. I am glad you called”. Questioning Marcy about a few of her other symptoms, Charles began searching his calendar for dates Marcy could be seen. Relief began pulsating through Marcy’s body; she felt hopeful for the first time since her mother passed. Soon both Charles and Marcy decided on Tuesday, October 3^rd as the time for their first appointment. Tuesdays always worked best for Marcy as she always had that day off to caretake for her mother and she never bothered to have her supervisor at the airline change it. Unfortunately, Macy traveled so frequently but worked to be placed on a local route from Nashville to Chicago so she would be within hours of her mother if things got worse, which they had.  

Very happily, Marcy confirmed her appointment time with Charles and she allowed her feelings of hopefulness to wash over her.  Wishing she had done this sooner; Macy began wondering what kind of therapist Mr. Mattingly would be. Xing and circling the appointment information made Marcy feel better as well.  Yet, she couldn’t help but have a pit of anxiety in her stomach at the thought of going to talk to someone about herself. Zero chances her mother would have approved of her doing so.  

This past week millions of people, myself included, watched the long anticipated Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. There will be spoilers from this point forward.

The wonderful thing about the show is that there are many story lines, the character’s rich complexity, a sharp wit and endless pop-culture references leave you in awe of the writer’s ability to story tell. From a young age, I’ve always appreciated a person’s ability to weave an intricate story that takes a while to unfold and digest.

It doesn’t help I’m woefully sappy.

Gilmore Girls has always been near and dear to my heart. I along, with my cohorts, identify with Rory and our shared coming of age experiences. Yet, you also have Lorelai and the many shenanigans she gets into along with juggling rearing a child, career, her love life, and a tension filled family dynamic. We follow the journey of Richard and Emily Gilmore. A wealthy New England family attempting to preserve a legacy and provide for their daughter and granddaughter.

I want to focus on the themes I picked up most in the revival. It draws out so many things that people struggle with.

Rory’s rut in her career and need to be established. Lorelai’s feelings of invalidation in her relationship with Luke and Emily’s need to establish a new life after the death of her husband and grief over losing her identity.

Rory’s character was one that fans thought could do anything. We certainly thought she had the world by the teeth and she would be extremely successful. Rory did not do any of those things. Ten years later she is in a rut. She is basically homeless, in two unhealthy romantic relationships, and has no work prospects. It’s sad. She takes the year to find herself. I kept thinking this should have occurred ten years ago. This is a reminder that ruts and uncertainty can hit at any time in our life. She contends with the feeling of being stagnate while her friends were all successful and doing their thing. Who hasn’t felt like that? Throughout the year Rory decides what she wants for the next phase of her life and works to obtain it and of course life throw a curve ball at the end. One I don’t totally hate. I didn’t expect Rory to become pregnant but the writer’s adequately prepared me for it.

Lorelai feels as if she has wasted the last ten years of Luke’s life. She feels that she robbed him of children and his dreams. She and Luke spend the year together but making each other somewhat unhappy. Lorelai goes on a journey to soul search and finds her answers. She goes back to Luke work out the animosity they have developed. The revival ends with them becoming married. Lorelai also works out the tension filled relationship with her mother. They are finally in a good place. The bitter resentment Lorelai had for her mother was resolved.

Emily’s storyline was my favorite and the most complex. Emily lost her husband, her world, and identity. She had to rebuild what she had and she did so. She sold her home and bought a new one. She started a new romance. She ended her affiliation with the DAR and moved to Nantucket. She became a new person. She was given an opportunity to grow and she did.

All of their storylines, especially Emily’s, introduce important themes well all experience in life. The biggest take that I had was that people deserve to have the space to grow/evolve. We are not the same person throughout our life. People change. It’s a simple fact. If we aren’t growing and changing parts of us throughout life then I’d say the life you are living isn’t much of a life. Your insight deepens, your opinions change, and you feel differently about things as you grow. It’s a part of living. We assimilate our old selves into new identities. Some people never take that opportunity, whether for fear or stubbornness it’s not good. Emily spent seventy years building a comfortable life and then her husband died. She had to forge a new life. Pick up the pieces and create something else. She did it wonderfully. Not everyone is afforded that opportunity. I get that but she was able to start over. I think that is why they call them “phases”. Life happens in transitions; some of them longer than others, some of them unexpectedly and without consent, some of them naturally. Our ability to accept and trudge through is what gets us through. We can meet life like a mighty oak or a wispy palm and in doing so we dictate the quality of our life. Maybe, like usually, I read too much into something as simple as a T.V. show but as I watched the revival of my favorite T.V. show these were some of the themes I picked up and why I believe this show will be timeless. Everyone experiences love and lost, ruts in life, and family issues. It’s whether we remain in the valleys or climb that mountains that make life what it can be.

In recent weeks, there has been a lot of talk about bathroom bills. More specifically, Trans issues have been tossed into the public arena. Many states are passing or are considering legislation regarding a Tran’s person ability to use public restrooms. Tran’s issues have been gaining momentum in the last year or so but it is important to consider these “Trans issues” are issues a Trans person contends with a on daily basis and isn’t something that just started in the last few years. Let’s explore that:
No matter your views on Transgender issues one should educate themselves on this deeply personal issue.
What prompted my writing this blog was the recent passing of the North Carolina bill that requires people to use the bathroom that correlates with the sex on their original birth certificate. So if a person does complete sex reassignment surgery they would still be required to use the restroom of the sex that they had a birth. There are two parts to this bill but this blog will only focus on the bathroom portion.
As usual this argument can be divided between liberal and conservative views. Of course people of the respective parties can have differing opinions within the party but a generality does exist.
Conservatives frame their argument for this bill in terms of privacy and security. They affirm that a person’s privacy is compromised when a person has to use the bathroom with someone that has a different biological gender. The example provided was if a man used the women’s restroom a woman would be very uncomfortable. First, it struck me that the commentator used the language “biological sex” because the LBGT community affirms that gender is mental and sex is biological. It almost felt as if they too were affirming that belief as well. Secondly, I would assume that a woman would be very uncomfortable if a man used the women’s restroom. However the point that the Trans community continues to reiterate to people is that a Trans person is not their gender they were born with. So If a Trans Person is using the women’s restroom they are affirming I am a woman and belong here. So personally, I don’t see how privacy has been impacted however people will need to figure that portion out for themselves.
The second issue is security. Conservatives affirm that women and children are somehow put into risk when a transgendered person uses the restroom of their identified gender. They believe that perverts would use this law for their own deviant behaviors and do unspeakable things to women and children. Conservatives push that allowing Trans people to use the bathroom of their mental gender would make it easier for men to rape women. This argument is weak. In fact it s contradicts an issue so near and dear to conservatives. Let’s apply their argument for putting into place a law to restrict/prevent behavior. The same argument can be applied to gun control. Liberals argue if they create stricter gun control laws then they will lessen the amount of gun violence. We know that won’t work. You cannot legislate morality and cannot control people’s behaviors with laws. So what does this have to do with the bathroom bill? The point is that a person who is participates in the abhorrent behaviors of raping children and women will go into the women’s restaurant regardless of the law. Furthermore, you cannot equate Transgendered people with dirty perverts. Most Transgendered people do not rape women and children and are upstanding law abiding people. It becomes no more easier for a man to use a woman’s restroom than it was before. It is against the law for a man to do those things before this bathroom law. It continues to be against the law for a man to use the women’s restroom and for a man to rape women and children. This bathroom bill does not restrict the behavior of men who would do those terrible things to women and children. It only prevents law abiding citizens from using the restroom. If you logical explore the issues it seems the bathroom bill is motivated for other reasons.
Liberals view the bath room bill as discrimination against Transgendered people. They argue a Trans person should have the right to use the bathroom that correlates with their mental gender. They also contend that it is a safety concern for a Trans person to use the restroom that correlates with the gender on their original birth certificate. There have been numerous attacks on the LBGT community. Liberals postulate that if a Trans woman uses the men’s room that be putting them in danger of being assaulted. Considering the amount of imperial evidence, this is a valid point. There is a long history of physical abuse of the LBGT community.
I wrote this article because I saw a terrible cartoon floating around online about a man wearing a dress so he could get into the women’s room to hurt women and children. That person wasn’t transgendered. It was a pervert. I imagine that the rate of men assaulting women in women’s restroom will not increase due to Trans people using the bathroom that correlates with their mental gender. I do not think that people are treating this issue with compassion or understanding that it deserves. People are still not listening to Trans people about any Trans people. Some folks still believe that the LBGT community is completely making up these issues. It’s quite sad. This world lacks compassion and understanding. It is my hope that people can facilitate a discussion that is respectful. No one has asked you to change your belief but being disrespectful and a terrible human being is not an option.

Let’s work to making the world a better place.