St Kitts was all sorted: a half-day excursion to see what island life had to offer. And by “offer”, I mean queues. Yes, once again we found ourselves standing in the hot sun (we never got used to it), this time alongside passengers from at least four massive ships all disgorging thousands of tourists onto an island with a population of 50,000. Everyone eager to taste a bit of Caribbean life; we were just eager to taste some air conditioning.

Enter our bus driver, Ray. Or, as he insisted, Ray-Ray. According to him he’s a handsome 40-year-old (self-certified), and in his real life he’s a sergeant in the island’s drug squad. When I asked how he had time to drive a tour bus, he explained that as a policeman he’s a public servant — and public servants apparently get roped in when the cruise ships arrive en masse. When I asked about crime on the island, he said, “There isn’t much. All the bad people are in jail.” Mostly domestic disturbances, apparently. At this point it felt like we’d wandered into an episode of Death in Paradise.

Ray-Ray was lovely and religiously obeyed the speed limit (while promising to “catch” anyone who overtook him), but guiding was not his natural calling. His highlights included pointing out local takeaways, Chinese supermarkets, gas stations, and — the star attraction — the island’s new stop sign. When a landmark actually was interesting, he suggested we read the sign ourselves. We did also find out that he’s divorced, saw where he works, and spotted a couple of his colleagues who clearly didn’t feel quite so “public servant-y” about driving tourists around.

Our first stop was a small hotel with beautiful gardens and stunning views (see above) — and guests who were desperately trying to relax by the pool despite a parade of cruise passengers clomping past them like wet-footed wildebeest.

Twenty minutes later we were back on the bus, trundling past the “Tabernacle Fellowship of Excitement”. These islanders really don’t hold back when it comes to naming their churches.

Ray then drove us through a slice of rainforest featuring a zip line which he said was great for “holidays and so forth”. “And so forth” was very much his catchphrase — you can hear it echoing on the first video like a tropical mantra… and so forth….

Next stop: a local batik studio. Beautiful stuff, genuinely — but like all excursions, you’re in and out faster than you can say “inconsidered purchase”, so buying anything was unlikely. And realistically, when am I ever going to wear tie-dye again? Exactly.

We passed some poorer neighbourhoods, after which Ray suddenly decided to show us the posh end (which, confusingly, also had Chinese supermarkets). This took us to Frigate Bay, where Ray said all the “good and great” come to party. He drove us down a road of beach bars — shacks, really — and pointed out the site where one beloved bar had recently burned down. The owner was still soldiering on with a makeshift table and four pans bubbling away on portable stoves. Ray informed us his favourite tipple is the local beer, which he buys by the bucket on Thursdays when he goes for karaoke. I asked what he sings; I wasn’t shocked to hear “Bob Marley”. The man is practically a saint here.

Our final stop was the big photo op: Timothy Hill, where you can see the Atlantic Ocean meet the Caribbean Sea. Well, they have to meet somewhere, I suppose, and this is as good a place as any. As Ray-Ray would say, “and so forth”.

We did stop at a fortress but to be fair we only made it as far as the make shift bar and a cold beer, well we had earned it and so forth….

St Maarten was our first stop in the sunny Caribbean, and our plan was to mooch around unaided by any official excursion. We’d already learnt our lesson in Tenerife, standing in the sun strong enough to burn our faces off while waiting for the hop-on hop-off bus. Never again.

So this time, we were going rogue. Independent. Adventurous. Making our mark.

Well… until we realised that “making our mark” is significantly more difficult when the Caribbean sun is actively trying to melt you. We ended up shuffling along the beachfront like four vampires looking for the world’s smallest patch of shade.

Luckily, salvation came in the form of bars. The first offered shade, local cheap beer and wifi (hello old friend, time to tell people we still exist back at home – that’s if they have missed us) . The next bar was serving local rum punch and loud music. Here, you could pay for a sun lounger and table service — very bougie. We, however, opted for the more budget-friendly plan: rum punch only, followed immediately by fleeing to the next bar that had actual shade, chairs, and, most importantly, that cheap cold local beer again. We also ordered chips, because even off the ship you can’t afford to stop eating. Carb-loading is a lifestyle afterall.

St Maarten was undeniably pretty and incredibly popular… but I couldn’t help noticing it had a slight “Caribbean Benidorm” vibe about it. Which is fine — just unexpected, and much farther to come to get it.

Given I didn’t have my phone, there is almost no photographic evidence of our eight days at sea — which is honestly the best outcome for public safety and our reputations.

We settled into a gloriously lazy routine of getting up late enough to qualify as borderline medical concern. Every morning, D and I would nobly read through the list of activities we absolutely weren’t going to do. As D put it, they’re mainly designed for “all the people not getting drunk on a drinks package,” and I fear she’s right. Everything was so repetitive that if you missed shuffleboard today, you could confidently miss it tomorrow too… and we did. Consistently. Like champions.

We did buy a pack of playing cards though, which offered a shocking glimpse into NYB-F’s inner competitive demon. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen someone willing to cause a diplomatic incident over a game of Rummy.

People-watching quickly became our Olympic event. In the collage, you’ll see a photo of fellow passengers who perfected the art of “resting” — that beautiful cruise tradition of falling asleep between one meal and the next. The ship’s entertainment simply didn’t have the power to keep them conscious. Respect, honestly.

One day, we even went outside. Unfortunately, we chose a day with weather that can only be described as “North Sea in a mood.” We struggled to achieve our wildly ambitious step count target of 20. After I took the photo (bottom left), a 14-year-old wandered past us looking like they were on a springtime stroll. I maintain that teenagers should be banned from being smug in public.

NYB-P also graced karaoke night, which is normally a highlight. However, this time he waited an entire hour and then had to follow a five-year-old belting out Incy Wincy Spider. Note to self: “family-friendly cruise” translates to “there will be tiny people trying to steal your spotlight and you will be powerless to stop them.”

No matter what she weather having a balcony is a game changer, at the moment we vow to never book a cruise without one again, lets see how much we stick to that vow…

Even with or with out sound it’s amazing….. That’s if you can stand the heat….

Our first few days at sea have been more than pleasurable although we have had a few medical emergencies on board, you kind of expect it with a ship this big, however what we didn’t expect was the sad news that the crew member had died. An even more sombre captain’s announcement updated us, during one of his evening addresses, pleading with the passengers not to put it all over Facebook (how times have changed, everyone is a journalist) and to let their family grieve or more than likely get informed first. (Just to note it’s been weeks since this happened, still raw for those concerned and our prayers were with them).

Our first planned disembarkment (cruise term) is Santa Cruz Tenerife. This seems harder than we first imagined. After being informed that the level on the ship for disembarkation was 3, we followed a line of people, towards what we thought was the exit, only to find they were heading in the wrong direction so we turned about and went back the other way. The line that was originally about 8 people was now around 12, only to find after we had followed the line again that we were still heading in the wrong direction. So a further change with an even longer line of people in tow, until we found our way out. NYB- F had commented that at one point he thought the long line was just us all randomly following some bloke back to his cabin. Who said we British like to queue, and to be honest this cruise from the start has been one big queue.

Finally hitting terifirmer we have booked onto the ‘hop on, hop off’ bus around the city. As it happens so did the other 4 cruise ships that have descended on this little place. Some unexpectedly as they have been rerouted (due to hurricane Melissa being in their path). Which meant a long queue while we waited for the bus, luckily this gave us a chance to meet Americans and others who had been rerouted!!

Tenerife is pretty and very popular, we just got a chance to see a bit of the coastline and a market. The highlight for one of our party was the discovery of a milkshake. Yes, I found a little cafe called Cafe Cafe with owner Honorio who told us he “loves England and trained with a well-known chef” of which I forgot as soon as he told me. He did offer us his finest, including his specialty sandwiches (which the Boys tried), the island’s special liquor coffee Barraquito, and (Nivarna) milkshake which D enjoyed!

This cruise turns out to be 20 years since our first ever cruise together (the Boys are now cruise masters with 27 under their holiday belt). One thing you realise pretty quickly is that you go where the captain says you go. So when he announces that we were rerouting to go near land to meet a medivac helicopter to take off a poorly passenger the very first day, it was no shock. That us until the 2am announcement the following morning into the cabins asking emergency personnel to the lifts. The announcement from the captain the next morning was another re-routing to drop off a member of the crew who had been hurt fixing the lifts (around 2am we can presume). After a quite sombre announcement that we would now have an unexpected day off board in La Coruna (northern Spain), we noticed the ship had sped up considerably, more than when it was the passenger we had noted.

It’s a first port of call and we prepare to have a look around, which basically means a short walk to the nearest coffee shop and people watching.

Commentary about the port is that it is very accessible and a nice walk along the harbour. Not very pretty but not docks either. It might be better in the summer. Today it was rather cold. That said while everyone else was bundled up with coats, our intrepid cruise buddies The Boyz were in shorts and shirt sleeves – well what else could we expect?

Back on board, we discover the fish and chips restaurant which was to become NYB-P’s spiritual home. D even tried to get a specialty ice cream without paying extra, only to be told by the rather cheeky server (there were a few on this cruise), “you are on a drinks package not food”). Needless to say D wasn’t happy, we vowed to find her a milkshake somewhere!!

We end the night experiencing one of the ship’s singing duos (pretty bad as it turns out) putting on a 70’s show, even the familiar tunes didn’t hit the mark with us.

As this cruise will be longer and mostly on the ship, we agree on a rendezvous spot with the Boys: The Keel and Cow pub (obviously a bar). So we can do our own thing before meeting up for ‘together time’ (aka drinking). We also agreed to ring each other’s cabins and leave messages. My first attempt was good, except they insisted it didn’t show up (only to discover days later how to listen), and when testing leaving us a message, they rang the wrong cabin. Someone is going to feel slightly nervous with the deep-throated “it’s me” message.

Lady D and I enjoy our first experience of a cabin with a view, even in the North Atlantic Ocean this is a gift.

Meeting up with the Boys, I noticed NYBF’s commitment to taking it slowly on the drinking…. They started with a latte at 12, quickly followed by an order of a small lager.

While D and I found the ideal sunbathing, ie there is no sun, so we have a sun-bed to ourselves and we have hot chocolate (Costa style), while we feel that North Atlantic breeze and odd sun ray.

We tried out the big diner, which is like a massive canteen where we can have choice after choice of different foods. All of which you try until you decide you don’t like free choice and appreciate just being served one thing at a time and stick to the restaurants.

All our anxiety from life at home, the pre-retirement reservations, family, and everything else we find time to worry about, seems to settle. It feels like another world when you can’t be contactable. No internet, no phones – no problems. In fact, it’s so chilled that Lady D, sees the shows (comedian tonight) are so relaxing she uses it to snooze or as she says ‘power nap’.

In fact, the only stress is to find her a milkshake and spend our ‘onboard credit’.

As this is a re-positioning cruise of a ‘big’ P&O ship we had the expectation it might be rather upscale and refined, it turned out to be neither. We came from the Premier Inn, where we spent the night (and half the first day) waiting to get on to the ship as they were a little behind. In fact, our 2pm boarding time was to turn into 5pm. After we arrived at the dock to were met by a huge queue, which we had to stand freezing until they could get us on. Here the people were chatty, a mix of young, older, and lots and lots of families. Apparently, we had gotten ourselves onto a ‘family-friendly’ cruise. A lesson in read the small print here.

The ship was the Arvia and it was massive, with lots of restaurants, bars, and pools. We were to have our pick of many to experience the magic of life on board.

The plan is to celebrate both my own and NYBoy P’s retirements. There will be four of us on this adventure the regular four. Lady D will be accompanying me in my cabin, and the boys will have their own. Unusually on the other side of the ship as it turns out. it was NYBoy F’s turn to book the cruise that would fit with our joint high expectations, that is to say, it needed to be on the sea and have a drinks package. So when he returned after booking the cabins, he explained that the Travel agent must’ve made a mistake, because we had to have been booked into cabins, not just on a different floor, but on the other side of the ship from each other. I suspect there was no mistake by the travel agent, but rather the boys felt they should give us the space, to make enough noise that we won’t disturb them. That’s what being friends for decades does, it allows you the bandwidth to say “how can I ever miss you? If you don’t go away” and I know they really love you but 9 days at sea with even good friends might be a tad claustrophobic.

Good friends are one of the real blessings of growing older. We understand each other more, we appreciate each other more, and worry about each other more. However whether we listen to each other more I’m not so sure as we have packed plenty of books and earplugs, which would imply, being good friends means sitting together and ignoring each other is also good. As the only expectation is to be together (even if sometimes floors apart) and make memories.

Although Lady D and I are excitement about having a balcony, it’s the first time for us. Yes, we have splashed out and got a room with a view and a minor chance of falling overboard. Although I think it would have to be a strong wind to get either of us over side. However, I am beginning to wonder how much we’re gonna be able to sit on it, given we’re leaving from Southampton crossing the Atlantic Ocean in November, and then arriving in hurricane season in the Caribbean. No problem, Lady D is taking her cardi and I have my gagoole.

So the adventures begin with a rendezvous at Southampton Premier Inn, where we’ll spend the night, have a drink (as you can’t start drinking too early, when you’re anticipating a ‘drinks package’ for 14 days) and try to avoid a mild panic about what we’ve forgotten, even though we know we can buy everything on the ship.

Recently, I have felt like I am missing something. The truth is, like many people my age, I am wondering, “What now?”After all, I have a home, kids, and career (or was it job), so what am I striving for now?

I suppose this is a privileged position, we are a generation who have grown up in the good times, we had our struggles but we have still lived in one of the safest times in history, living quite some time longer than ever before. So it’s a ‘first world problem’ of asking ourselves “what now?”

I can’t lie it’s been messing with my head especially as I prepare to leave the public service part-time job (well paid but not me). Not quite ready for retirement but not quite believing I would get another job (or if I really want one). But what else will I do?? Again I know it’s a first-world problem…

Lately, I have found the best place to go is to look in the mirror and get real. No I don’t mean consider surgery for those baggy eyes, I mean the soul mirror and check myself with some home truths. Which are “I could do with baggy eye surgery” (not happening), but what are my blessings and what is life telling me? Each day I count the “whats good”, counting all the little things. While focusing on what I can do to refocus my wandering mind.

I had a random thought the other day, if my mum were alive I would have asked her. Now, this would have been weird as my mum died at 53 years, surely she would have told me to “grow up and get on with it” as I am already 10 years older than she was (those baggy eyes belong to a 63-year-old). That led me to look for wisdom from those with whom I do life with, intending to capture some of the discussions with friends and playing them into my life examination and hopefully taking on their wisdom.

I am calling it ‘Wisdom Walks’. Proposing that we do at least 500 steps or 5,000 with time set aside to ask a quick round of 5 questions – They get to ask me one! I am still working on my wisdom (and waistline).

My first one was with Lady Heather. We travelled to James Steele Park (well the riverside walk) and apart from the regular catch-up, sharing and support we give to each other, she kindly answered the questions.

I really loved asking and I hope she enjoyed answering. I know there was wisdom shared – Thank You, Lady Heather….