I find it hard to know where to begin with this post, the beginning is so very long ago and the point in time to change the outcome is now so very long gone.
I had a friend for thirty five years, I thought the world of her, she became ill with Cancer ten years ago, sadly she passed away three years ago. After she died I found out that she thought very little of me. Nobody told me she didn’t care, but as time went by and events unfolded and it just became apparent.
I find it almost impossible to put into words how this made me feel, words don’t seem to express the depth of hurt, perhaps it might be because I can no longer ask her, there will be no answers ever now, leaving me in a strange kind of limbo.
I was introduced to Angela by a mutual friend and we became a close knit group, girls and guys, we all worked in the airline industry in one form or another. There was decades of parties, lunches, social events, celebrations of birthdays, Christmases and so much laughter and wonderful happy times. When Angela was first diagnosed we were all devastated, we rallied round, supported her in every possible way, I took her to all her first round of chemo sessions, another friend went to every Doctors appointment and took notes for her, we were all there for her when she had a mastectomy, we were like family. Most notably she was very close to her best friend from school, Susan, they had years of amazing memories, holidays together etc. and she was Godmother Susan’s children. Angela was also very close to Nicole, who lived a couple of streets away, so was able to pop in all the time, in fact Nicole saved Angela’s life. Angela was on a great deal of meds and one of the side effects was the possibility of heart attack, Angela did indeed suffer a heart attack, if it had not been for Nicole’s swift action in getting an ambulance, Angela would have passed away two years earlier than she did.
Every night for all those years, I would say a prayer for her, please just give her a little more time, let the chemo work, look after her Mum and Sister. I would call her all the time to check in, did she need anything, how could I help, she was so dear to me.
After she passed away and some time went by, I started to find out things, get togethers I hadn’t been invited to and comments that Angela made about me. Later I heard that she had left quite a big estate, but she didn’t leave anything to Susan, and worse, nothing to Nicole, none of us wanted any money, we just wanted a little memento, a memory, something to remember her by. It turned out she left small fortunes to random men, that had apparently made her laugh.
You never really know anybody, do you?
I see Susan and Nicole all the time, we are good friends, they don’t say much about any of it, we try to just talk about the good times, none of us want to speak ill of her, but I know deep down they must feel so very hurt, nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, so we don’t, I suppose it would be pointless now.
Personally I count my blessings daily for good health, a happy home and all my dear friends, and I live my life being as kind as I can, it’s all you can really do, isn’t it.
Many blessings to each and everyone of you.
Love Lilly xxx
Lilly Eves World 