Wilde Oates

I finally finished aging all of Wilde’s children to Young Adult and finished the families trees which you can see in the Children page.  Again, if you want one up for download post a comment on that page and I will put the sim up as soon as I can.

I had to wait for one last pregnancy to end.  It took three tries because my game kept freezing, but it was so worth it.

After Shanda was born I received this pop up.  Looks like Wilde is still destroying relationships even from beyond the grave!

Shandra was a little glitched at first, but the doctors say she will be fine.

She does remind me of Sloth from The Goonies (best movie EVER).

So the final tally for Wilde’s children is 255!!!

Welcome back for another installment of the epic tale of Wilde Oates.

When last we left off Wilde was sent off to a party thrown by Megan Landgraab, one of his numerous daughters.

It wouldn’t be a party without some drama!

Sandi Bunch: No, I will not give you my number.  You are my BROTHER!

Demond Landgraab: Whoa, sorry!  I didn’t recognize you from behind!

Kendall Wan: Dude, that guy just tried picking up his sister.

Lukas Crumplebottom-Steel (with ponytail): Dude, she’s everyone’s sister.

Where was Megan while her party was falling apart on the lawn?  In bed sleeping.  You might recognize this room from Week Six.  Wilde was very nearly jumped by Geoffrey and Malcolm Landgraab here.

You know it’s time to go home when the old woman at the party tries to get in your pants.

River: Hey Wilde, how about you and I go upstairs and relive our younger days?

Wilde: Hey, that’s sounds like fun, River.  Why don’t you head upstairs and get ready. I’ll be up in a few minutes.

River: OH-KAY!

Nice crazy face, River.

River ran upstairs as fast as her elderly body could manage.

And Wilde ran to his car and drove home.

Wilde: Let’s get the Hell out of here, Jamie.

Wilde would rather spend the night with his treadmill than warming an old woman’s bed.

As Wilde was making his escape Darlene gave birth.  Jeramie…I’ve never seen it spelled that way before.

During Wilde’s run I decided to scan the town.

I found this at the Market.  It looks as though Kristoffer McGraw’s face is melting off.

Reid Bachelor: *gasp* I hope that isn’t contagious.

Across the street The Grind closed. 

Tracy Alto: (to Madison) Ooo, I would love to paint a nude of you. 

Esmeralda Hatch: OMGIMGONNAPUKE!

Megan Donnor-Sw0rd: Llama saliva, he’s going to starve!  No one is going to buy a nude painting of Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor. 

But perhaps this painting would be for Tracy’s “personal” collection?

And at the Art Gallery Bella decides she is tired of being pregnant.

Looks like this is as good a time as any to have the baby.

What do you do when you’re across the street from the hospital and you go into labor?

You go home, of course.  *shakes head* sims… 

And then I find this outside the theater.  Something makes me think they could be on a date.  *cue cheesy soap opera music*

Annette Alto: Don’t turn away from me. Edgar; look at me.

Edgar Kimura:  Damn your eyes, Annette.  You know I can’t resist you!

Annette: I don’t want to hide how I feel anymore, Edgar.  I want the world to know of our love.

Edgar: But, Annette, you’re my sister!

Annette: Yes, Edgar, I’m your sister, and I love you!

I left when Edgar’s thoughts because uncomfortably inappropriate.  I will save my readers from the taste of bile in their throats.

That was quick (not really), welcome Jerad!

When 7:00 am finally rolled around I forced Wilde off the treadmill.  There’s baby makin’ to be done!

I think it’s clear by their thought bubble what is about to happen here.

Darlene and Wilde shared a kiss and Stacie Bunch-Hart got angry.

Darlene: Wilde and I are going to go up to my room.

Staci: No, Mom, not with him!

And as Darlene and Wilde start making out again Carina Bunch-Hart came over to glower.

And as Carina began to lecture her elders Bill Bunch-Hart came over to to cast his disapproving stare.  Bill, while not as ugly as a Bunch, is still clearly a Bunch.

Carina: Ahem…I would-

Staci: Allow me, Carina.

Staci casually walked over to Wilde and told him to keep it in his pants.

Darlene: STACI, do not talk to your father that way!

Wilde was starting to get bored.  If he wasn’t going to get some action soon he was going to leave.

Finally Darlene got her act together and met Wilde in the bathroom for some good clean fun.

Cornell Bunch-Hart walked in on the randy couple.  Darlene was left to do the walk of shame while Wilde did the stride of pride on his way to Bella’s house.

Now, if you will remember form the last update; Bella has developed a heart under her friendship bar.  This means when Wilde show up on her doorstep we should have a very Sandyesque confrontation.  Go on, go get your popcorn; I’ll wait.

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…

…

…

Jeez, it took you long enough.  Did you have to grow the corn and churn your own butter?

Ohhh, are you guys excited?  I know I am.  Look at that crazed expression on Bella’s face!

  Wut?

Bella has become a disappointment.  Also, she must be on the pill because there was no lullaby. 

Because Wilde has no where else to be, I sent him off to find Christopher Steel.  Meanwhile, I scan the town.

I’ve never before noticed this strange birthmark on Mark McGraw’s face.  The man must wear makeup to cover it.

Ugly man Arlo Bunch has done the impossible and become even uglier.  Look at the size of his face!  It’s like a small Easter Island Statue.

The Bunch family must have been the inspiration for these statues.  Their ancestors that is.

As Wilde waited for Christopher to get out of work he checked out this young French tourist’s ass.

No, Wilde, she is off limits!

Over at the park  Betsy Wainwright-Sekemoto has the same strange marking on her face.  Something is happening to the cops in this town!  Possibly some sort of classified RoboCop-type program?  Abigail (who has a new look now that she’s an adult) must be Betsy’s doctor/scientist buddy.

Abigail Hatch: Try not to act too much like a robot, Betsy.  The point is to blend in.

Betsy: Confirmed.

Mortimer Goth was being weird on the other side of the park.  Nice outfit, dude.

Mortimer: Go away!  I want to be alone among the flowers!

Sad day.  Bella’s uterus has become a prune.  So long Bella, you were…useful?  Well, your ute was anyway.

At the theater Annette sadly waited for Edgar.  Looks like she’d been waiting a while.

O.o  Looks like Edgar pissed off the wrong sim!

Annette: *mumbles* Bastard stood me up.  NO ONE stands me up!

Then she got into her car and disappeared in a cloud of dust.

Curious, I followed her.  She went to the beach where she propositioned Quinn Bachelor.

Annette: I was just stood up and I’m looking for someone to take me home.

Quinn: Ehhh…

Annette: Look, I’m on the rebound here.  Are you going to take me to bed or not?

Quinn: Well, here’s the thing.  You’re my sister…

Annette: Grrr…  I guess I’m not getting laid tonight.

Back to Wilde.  Christopher Steel finally left work.  When he noticed Wilde his night was instantly ruined. 

Wilde: Mission accomplished…

Britney showed up and Wilde invited her over to his place.

Wilde: You look like garbage without your weave.

Brittney: You’re harsh words make tears pour from my eyes as rain pours from a cloud.

Wilde: What?

They decided to go out to the love tub where Derrick was because he had just BROKEN IT AGAIN!

Wilde and Brittney shared a kiss in front of Derrick and his reality came crashing down around him again.  Poor Derrick…break the hot tub again and I will be forced to taunt you a second time!

This is funny.  Derrick back-handed Brittney.

Wilde: Hmmm…  That’s nice…

Brittney: Macaroni-head!

Derrick: WHORE!

Derrick – 1 Brittney – 0

After the confrontation by the broken hot tub, Derrick decided to visit the bathroom.  He knows the shower is Wilde’s second favorite place to woohoo (this guy likes to woohoo in water).  By the look on Derrick’s face he was planning to stay in there a while.  I canceled the action and sent him off to the pool; he will not be messing with Wilde’s game today!

Two seconds later…

Three minutes later…

Brittney (sporting a fresh weave): Well, should we go to bed now?

Wilde: Bed?  LOL.  It’s time for you to go home.

Before I sent Wilde off to the treadmill I noticed Derrick took the car with him to the pool.  He better hope Wilde doesn’t find out how he’s violated Jamie.

As Wilde ran through the night I scoped out the town.  I found this in the Ursine house.

Oh…  Nothing to see here.

Monday morning and all the women (Brittney, Darlene, Sandi and Yusun) are all pregnant. 

Wilde’s man-maid, Thaddeus Jacob, showed up for work FINALLY!  Seriously, it’s been weeks.

Thaddeus: Duuuuuuude. you are my hero!

Thaddeus: Whaddya think, you wanna share with ol’ Thaddeus here?

Wilde: Get in there and clean my throne, boy.  Then go home.

Thaddeus forgot to clean the toilet.

He is Wilde’s man-maid no longer.

Thaddeus ruined Wilde’s chances with Sandi.  Luckily she was already pregnant and zero days away from aging into an elder. Wilde’s still got game.

To apologize I had Wilde take Sandi out for lunch.  While there Cyrus and Madison broke up.  I’m wondering if Madison let Tracy Alto paint that nude of her and when Cyrus found out it ruined their relationship.  It’s sad when brothers ruin each other’s relationships.

After Wilde’s lunch was over he told Sandi to find her own way home because I spotted Christopher Steel at the bookstore!  Wilde scared the ever-loving crap out of him.  It was loud…Wilde’s roar was too.

Cyrus Hart-Wan is clearly depressed.  The signs are all there from not caring about what he is dressed in to urinating on the lawn of the library.

Later, Madison showed up at the library and Cyrus though of throwing a book at her.

Nothing else happened at the library so I sent Wilde home for his nightly run.

Tuesday morning Yusun gives Wilde another daughter, Haeju.  I honestly have no idea how to pronounce that name.  Does the J have an English J sound?  Does it have a Y sound or an H sound?  Hay-jew, Hay-who or Hay-you?  I like the idea of it being Hey-you, because Yusun ran out of names for her children.  (My husband doesn’t laugh at my jokes and it depresses me.)

Wilde’s Childbirth ESP went off and he had Yusun upstairs and in bed before uterus returned to it’s rightful size.  Yusun never says no.

At the market I noticed Mortimer Goth turned into and elder.  Nice cane.

I forgot to her her name, but clearly this daughter of Wilde has a problem with the elder Mortimer.

Erica Landgraab: Can’t you take your moth-ball-stink somewhere else?

Just in case anyone forgot this is a Family Man Challenge.  Looks like Rian French may be plotting his baby sister’s murder.  By the way, Wilde was at the French-Alvi house because Sandi is due to have her baby.

LOOK!  It’s like I planned it. 

Sandi: AAAHHHHHHH!!!

Jeff French:  Mom, does this mean you’re not making dinner?!!?  I’m hungry!!!

Sandi: HOO HOO HEE

Courtney French: No way, Mom!  You’re not making dinner?!?

Sandi: Would you shut up about dinner!

Elsa French: Jeez, I can’t believe you didn’t make dinner!

Sandi: Gah! Go to the diner!

Elsa French: Oh please, Mother, no one wants to get intestinal worms.

Sofia French-Alvi: Mother, could you please tell your son to get his head out of my crotch.

Brannon French-Alvi: *can’t hear anything*

Wilde wasted no time at all.

Rian French: Oh great, she’s going to get knocked up again.

Sofia French-Alvi: Whoa, someone stop that from happening!

They woohooed in the shower.  I doubt there was a jingle because Sandi has zero days before her elder birthday.  But I can’t say for sure because my volume was off. I sent Wilde home to his treadmill, he could do nothing more in the French-Alvi house.

Wednesday morning I noticed Pumba Darlene Bunch turned elder.

I noticed a cluster of sims at the market and sent Wilde there.  Felipe Bunch clearly has daddy-issues.

Felipe: Where were you all of my youth?

Oh look, Arlo Bunch showed up incognito in his lifejacket and aviator sunglasses.

Later that night I sent Wilde off to The Grind.  He sat down to have some nachos when Christopher walked by.

Wilde: *is satisfied*

Wilde finished his nachos and started to levitate.

Wilde: Will you look at that…pixie dust!

Everyone gathered around to watch their father die.

Christopher: So long, asshole!

Wilde greeted Death, he was ready to go.  (And I have been waiting for him to go.)

Then he jumped in his urn.

Christopher Steel: Well…I will sleep well tonight.

Everyone else: Oh noes!

Wilde died at 102 with 717,701 LTH points and 252 children (I think, it could be more)! 

No children this week, I’m in the process of making them all Young Adults.  Then I plan to overhaul the Children page with family trees for Wilde and his women.

I hope you enjoyed the drama that is was Wilde’s life.  He didn’t live as long as I thought he would, but I has stopped granting him wishes because they were all about his children.  I think in time I will give this another shot in a town populated with Simselves.  Note To Self: Find and download more Simselves.

 

THE END

This week started off with Wilde on the treadmill, working hart to live longer.  And UGH, I forgot how hard it is to play with all of this lag!

Once the clock struck seven I sent Wilde over to the only non pregnant female sim’s home: Kaylynn Landgraab.

That’s Tyler Langerak, Wilde and Kaylynn’s first child together.  He wants to be just like his father.  He’ll need to move to another town first.

Sending Wilde over to Kaylynn’s house didn’t go over well.  Since it was a Sunday all the kids were home.  Wilde and Kaylynn could not get it on!  There were children in every room and they would not be shooed away!  Wilde finally invited Kaylynn home with him.

Where they promptly got it on and Derrick walked in to see what was happening.

Kaylynn was not happy to see Derrick in the room when they came out from beneath the sheets and she blamed Wilde.  Here she is spreading her arms trying to intimidate Wilde by making herself look larger, like an angry bear.  Give it three days Kaylynn, you’ll be as big as a house.

Wilde: Maybe you should go home and cool off a bit.

Wilde had to get her out of his house.  His Childbirth ESP had just tingled and he needed to get to Darlene’s house.

But first Wilde felt the need to attack Derrick for his attempted cock-blocking.  Look at those shocked anime eyes.  Don’t cry Derrick, Wilde is just grumpy because I won’t buy him a cane.

It looks like he’s pleading for my help!  I almost feel sorry for him, but he decided to move in here all on his own.  (Not really.)

Wilde then left the house and drove over to Darlene’s where he was greeted by their daughter Staci.  Her haircut look like she battled a pair of scissors and lost.

As Wilde walked into the house Jamie (Jolina) Bunch died.  Wilde felt a tinge of sadness before he remembered there was work to be done.

Unfortunately, Darlene snuck out the back of the house as Wilde walked in.  So he called her up and invited her out on a date to the theater!!!  Oh, how I have missed Wilde, not the lag though.  I have not missed the lag.

Joyce Crumplebottom-Steel was there and recognized her father immediately.  I don’t know what kind of movies they feature at this theater, but that guy has a baby in his pocket!

Anyway, Wilde and Darlene went into the theater and found a dark corner somewhere and got. it. on!

When Darlene and Wilde left I received the above pop up.  I think we all know Barrett is just trying to save face.  We all know what Darlene was doing in that movie theater with Wilde!  Life must be hard for poor Barrett, not only is he stuck wit one of the ugliest sims in Sunset Valley.  But he’s married to his father’s AND half-brother’s sloppy seconds.

As Wilde returned home Bella gave birth.  Wilde got right back into his car and drove over to her house.

I’d forgotten how easy these women are.  Wilde is so screwed when that reputation system kicks in.

Wilde followed Bella up to the bathroom where they did it in the shower.  I love that they can now do it in the shower.  With all of these over crowded houses it makes Wilde’s life much easier.

After a successful impregnation Wilde went home to his treadmill.

Monday nothing really happened.  No babies were born and no one was impregnated.  I spend most of the day trying to get Wilde into the school to present a check!  It took all day.

He came home to Derrick passed out on the floor.

During Wilde’s nightly cardio routine I received this pop up.  Looks like Jeremiah is helping to rid Pauline of her cobweb problem.

Anyone else a little worried there may be subliminal messages in his music?  If he starts writing books I’m going to get nervous.

Early Tuesday morning Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave birth.

7:00 am rolled around and I sent Wilde to her house.  He wasn’t granted access until 1:30 pm because of llllllaaaaaaaagggggg…  *rips at hair*

Is it just me or is Lisa really starting to look hideous?  I mean, she’s nothing like her sister, but she’s still been beat with an ugly stick.

Widle: We should go upstairs and embarrass your children.

Notice Widle never claims his children.

Danielle was on the floor by the bed effectively blocking Wilde’s way.  Sims can walk over toys, but he can’t step over a freaking infant?  I had to break a self-imposed unofficial rule: I had Wilde pick up his daughter.

Then Lisa’s daughter, Jenny walks in!  GET OUUUUUUT!!!  Get out!

Wilde: Look, this really shouldn’t be a family affair.  I really don’t perform well when there is an audience.

Poor Wilde, he’s already making excuses for “issues.”  Someone should introduce him to that little blue pill called Viagra.

Wilde ever so gently placed his infant daughter on. the. floor.

Wilde and Lisa moved into the neighboring bathroom to continue with their “relations.”  Notice they both are having lingering thought of the baby.  Perhaps they were feeling a little guilty about ignoring her or leaving her on the hall floor, but it didn’t stop them from getting it on in the shower.

Oh look, another child was born freeing up another womb!  Fear not, Brittney, before your uterus can shrink back to it’s original size Wilde will have left his seed in you!

(Was that a little too much?)

Once there Wilde couldn’t wait to get down to business.  He was left waiting on the stoop until this one Regina Morris came home.

Because Brittney was far too involved in her book to bother with the door.  She’s forgotten that she’s on my shit list.  She better hope Wilde dies before she becomes an elder; that’s all I have to say.

Upon entering the home, Wilde was greeted by a Brittney that PRETENDED NO TO KNOW HIM!  Again with this?

Brittney: Oh, hello.  it’s so nice to meet you.

Wilde: Umm, yeah, hello, I’m the father of your children and siblings.

Alright that is gross.

After the introduction things proceeded like they known each other since she was a child and she invited him to her shower.  I can’t believe I just typed that…

Brittney: Would you like to see how it works?  I could show you.

Karissa was not happy to walk into the bathroom at that particular moment.

Karissa: You disgust me.

Wilde: Don’t hate the player; hate the game.

Lame, Wilde, that is so lame!

Brittney exited the shower and  was immediately regretful.

Brittney: What did I just do?

Wilde: yeah, I get that a lot.

Yusun gave Wilde another boy!

It was too late to bless the other ladies (Sandi and Yusun) with children.  Wilde went home and spent the rest of the night with his treadmill.

I decided to check out how things were happening around town when I spotted Lisa (Bunch) McGraw leaving the market with a toddler clinging to her for dear life!

Griselda Wan: Wow, look at that.  She’s like a baby koala.

Wednesday: Wilde ran until precisely 7:00 am then he went over to Yusun’s house on a mission.  Mission: Impregnation.

Check it out, I finally gave Yusun her old hairstyle again.  Yay for me!

As soon as Wilde and Yusun entered the house and started making out.  Her brother threw a bitch-fit!  It seems that Yusun is in a relationship with some guy.  Like that even matters to me Wilde.  With a red dagger over his head, Ahmad ran over to Yusun and backhanded her like he was her pimp!

Ahmad: Did you forget about (some guy)!  I can’t believe I witnessed this!!

To add insult to injury Yusun’s sister Marilyn followed suit.

Marilyn: Snap out of it, Yusun!  What would Mother do?

Listening to her sister’s words, Yusun did exactly what her mother would have done.  Cheeks still stinging she went upstairs and met Wilde in her room.

Yusun: Th-They attacked me…

Wilde: *is no listening*

Yusun: Can you make the pain go away?

Wilde: For about three minutes.  I’ve got to be somewhere after this.

Wilde had to get his butt over to Sandi French-Alvi’s house and knock her up too.

Ready for a badly written/acted soap opera?

Wilde: You know why I’m here, Sandi.

Sandi: …yes, I do…

Wilde: Turn around, Sandi.

Sandi:  …no…

Wilde: Sandi.

Sandi: *turns* Oh Wilde, I can’t fight it anymore.  Be gentle with me…

Then Wilde and Sandi did it in the shower while Elsa sat on the couch with Thorton Wolff staring at a broken TV.  Weird.

Before Wilde and Sandi were through Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had her child.

Then Darlene and Bella had their babies.  Thursday looks like a busy day for Wilde.  Seriously, with all this lag Wilde can only manage to get 2-3 ladies pregnant a day.

Thursday morning around 7:00 am Wilde jumped off the treadmill and moodlet managed himself to a happy place then drover over to Darlene Bunch-Hart’s place.  He had baby making to do and Darlene was looking forward to it!

Dewayne and Eve Landgraab did the best cock blocking they could by crying in unison.

Enjoy the pic spam:

Finally Wilde was granted access into Kaylynn’s pants house and he ruins it by nearly wetting his pants.

Wilde: This is your fault; you and your diaper!

And was then distracted and roped into a conversation by his daughter Susanne Landgraab.  No time, Wilde, NO TIME!  You still have to visit Bella today!

Move over Theater, Wilde’s new favorite spot seems to be the shower.

Wilde: Jeez, I have got to take a leak!  Wait for the shower, wait for the shower…

Okay, gross…  Hey, there’s a Seinfeld episode about that!

Wilde didn’t make it to the shower or toilet, but I don’t think Kaylynn noticed.  She had other problems.

Finally!  And there was a lullaby.  Now, how to explain that puddle by the door?

Before he had to explain the pee puddle by the door Wilde was dressed and out the door on his way to Bella’s house.

Bella’s son Feisal Sekemoto (not to be confused with Feisal Wainwright-Sekemoto, the late Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto’s son) started to cause a bit of trouble.

Feisal: BOOOOO!  Wilde Oates, you’re publicly disgraced!

Wilde has been getting those stupid moodlets for having children out of wedlock.  Like he cares!

Bella: Feeeeeisaaaaal, What are you trying to do?!  Don’t you ruin this for me!

Bella’s eyes are scary!

Bella: Don’t you have an after school activity or job?  Get out of here!

After Feisal was forced to leave home, Bella and Wilde ended up in the bedroom.  Before they could get down to business Bella had some concerns.

Bella: Does the downstairs plumbing still work?

Wilde:  What?  you want me to check your plumbing?  I’m not a handyman, I’m IMPREGNATOR MAN, HERE TO SPREAD MY SEED!

Bella: No, does your downstairs plumbing work?

Wilde: You mistake me for a lesser man!  My Jimmie Johnson is always ready to stand at attention.

I bet you wish you could unread that!  They got it on like two honeymooning rabbits.  There was a lullaby and Wilde went home to his treadmill.

Friday morning and all the women were still pregnant.  Wilde used this opportunity to visit the children’s ward at the hospital.  As Wilde was spending time with the children (not his own), drama was happening outside.

I’ll say they were.

I don’t know who started it, but Logan Jolina hauled off and slapped Bobbie McIrish!

Then Bobbie ran through her “I’m scared”

then “I’m pissed” actions three times

before giving him the hand and ending their fight.  He lost interest during the second round.

I sent Wilde to the Theater lot to kill some time.  Lo and behold Lisa (Bunch) McGraw went into labor!  And just when I thought nothing was going to happen on Friday!

I decided to have Wilde take her to the hospital.  Ever the gentleman, Wilde decided it was close enough to walk and ran a head of her.  Not what I had in mind.

Do you see how far ahead of her he is?  What a jerk!

Lisa: Wilde!  WILDE, WAIT FOR ME!

Wilde: Where is she already.  Doesn’t she realize she’s in labor?!

Lisa: *panting*

And here is where I like to think Lisa slapped Wilde upside his head as she waddled passed.

Lisa: Jerk.

While: What?

And instead of going into the hospital with her, he decided to stay outside and chat with Ayesha Ansari.

Wilde: She’ll be fine on her own.  I was in there earlier, I don’t need to go in there again.

Ayesha: Why don’t you visit me anymore?

Wilde: Oh, whoa, hey, It’s not you.  It’s just the thought of touching you…  You know, now that you’re old.  You understand?

Ayesha: I miss you…

Wilde was saved from any further conversation with Ayseha when Lisa exited the building with their new son.

Lisa: Don’t worry, I did everything on my own.

AND THEN he let her drive them home!

Wilde: *sigh* I sure am tired!

Lisa: *plots murder*

When they got to the McGraw home, Lisa’s son Mark was waiting.

Mark: Another one, Mom?  Where is this one going to sleep?

Lisa: I was thinking this one would sleep in the laundry hamper.

Mark: Not the fireplace?

Lisa: No, that’s your brother, Vernon’s bed.

WHAT?  You know it was Kaylynn!  What a beeeotch!  Of course, Wilde did leave her to clean up the puddle.

As soon as Lisa put the baby to bed Wilde made his move.  What can I say, Lisa likes a man that takes charge.

You can see it here, but Lisa dropped the soap.  She got pregnant again!  And then Wilde ran home where he spent the rest of the night on his treadmill.

Looks like Brittney’s getting a visit in the morning!

In the wee hours of Saturday morning a fire broke out in the Donnor-Sw0rd home.

Cyclone and Faye Van Watson struggled to control the fire before the fire department could arrive.

Some how Tamara’s ass caught fire.

Tom” *deep baritone* AHHHHHHH!

Cyclone (off camera): I guess next time you’ll think twice about eating those beans!

Faye (off camera): Who farts on a match?  Who does that?

Tamara ran through the house.

Tom: *deep baritone* Llama dung, I just put my arm through the door!

She ran to the shower and put out the fire in pants.  I wonder if that is what Fire Crotch is like?

That’s was awesome, but let’s be honest it would have been better if Tamara had died…

At 7:00 that morning Wilde jumped off the treadmill and into his car, then he drove to Brittney’s house.  When Brittney “answered” the door she pretended she didn’t see him and started chatting with one of her daughters.

You know, she is al ready in my list and she is not even trying to get into my good graces.  Bitch is going down once she turns elder!

Finally Wilde was let in to chaos.  Look at all the sims in there, that isn’t even all of them that live in this house!  Too many teenagers.  TOO MANY TEENAGERS!

Things did not work out in the bedroom.  Not because Wilde couldn’t perform, but because there were TOO MANY TEENAGERS!

Wilde: How about we go to my place, kick Derrick out for a while and have some fun?

Brittney: Yeah…that sounds okay…

Bitch. is. going. DOOOOOWN!

On their way back to Wilde’s place Yusun gave birth.  Wilde penciled her into his next available slot.

Wilde and Brittney went straight for the hot tub and got on with the baby making.

After I heard the lullaby and Wilde was about to ask Brittney to leave her daughter, Somer walked in!

Somer Morris: Nuh-uh, I do not agree with this!

Wilde: Well, who invited you?  You can both leave, I have important people things to do.

After they left Wilde wasted no time and hurried over to Yusun.  Yusun never keeps Wilde waiting.

Like I said, she never keeps Wilde waiting.  They immediately went to the bedroom and shook the house like they were having a 9.0 earthquake!

Gonzalo Ursine (child): What the Hell is going on up there?

Joseph Ursine (toddler): *babbles*

Gonzalo: I’m going to go up there and see what’s happening.

Wesley: Why is Mom screaming?  Did a 747 just land in the street?

Gonzalo: Not now, Wesley.  I need to go take care of something.

Gonzalo angrily made his way up the stairs and to the bedroom.

Gonzalo: Mom!  What are you wearing!!!

Yusun: Oh, Gonzalo, you should be downstairs with your siblings.

Gonzalo: *mumbles* I need to take care of something first.

Gonzalo: Hey!  I have a bone to pick with you!

Wilde: Hehe, bone…

Gonzalo: *cries* What did you do to my mommy!!!

Wilde: Son, if I told you it would change you forever.

Gonzalo: *cracks back* You’re going to be sleeping with the fishes.

Wilde: I’ve heard that before…

Thankfully Yusun saved Wilde’s hide.

Yusun: Gonzalo, do not threaten your father.

Gonzalo: *is confused* Daddy?

Wilde: Whoa, what?

Needless to say after Gonzalo called Wilde ‘Daddy’ he took off.  Something about responsibility leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Before Wilde left the most amazing thing happed.  Yusun stood in the corner and changed her clothes while holding her baby.  I wish I’d had talent like that when my children were infants.

Because it was booming I sent Wilde to the local dive bar, Waylon’s Haunt.

Drama was happening outside the bar!

Erica Landgraab: Hey, heyheyhey.  Wouldn’t it be great if we did it and I got pregnant with your baby!

Lydell Wainwright-Sekemoto: No, we’re related.

Erica: Wha?  No, seriously.  Seriouslyseriouslyseriously.  We could do it right here, on this trashcan.

Trashcan: Oh no, please no.

Lydell: No, you’re my sister.

Erica: Hey, heyheyhey.  Wha?  No, seriously, seriouslyseriouslyseriously.

Lydell: NO! SERIOUSLY, YOU’RE MY SISTER!

Erica: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!  I JUST WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!!!

Lydell: WHOA, whoa.  Calm down, Erica…

Erica: KISS ME LYDELL AND GIVE ME YOUR BABY!!!  *grabs for him* MMMUAH, MUAH!

Lydell: NO!

Erica: Loser!  We’re through.  You won’t date anyone in this town, I’ll make sure of that!

Lydell: I can’t date anyone in this town anyway!

*sigh*  I love crazy sims.

Inside, Clark Kent Edgar Kimura was playing the Cello to a gathering audience.

Natalia Andrews (far left): Oh yeah, if he wasn’t my brother I’d be all over him.

Nikolas Bachelor (far right): *awkwardly move away* I might make an exception for him…

Reisa Keaton: WOOOOOO!  I LOVE CELLO!  And for the record I do not have chest hair, it just looks that way.

Vanessa Kimura (red top): Don’t harsh on the mello cello.

Natalia Keaton: Inorite?

Bartender: Waddle it be?

Lydell: Gimme the hottest hot wings you’ve got.  I’m going to stab them into my eyes and hope I can forget the things I‘ve seen and heard outside.

Vanessa: Ooo, sounds bad.

Erica: I can’t believe you’re airing our dirty laundry like this.

Nikolas: That bartender looks like a big guy.  I wonder if I could get hi to come home with me.

Reisa went into the bar’s dirty bathroom to cry over the death of her husband.

Sandi gave birth and it was time for Wilde to leave the bar!

All Wilde had at the bar was onion rings.  They must have been beer battered…

As soon as Wilde set food Sandi’s lot she stormed up to him. At first I thought this was rather cool, Wilde didn’t have to ring the doorbell and wait for an hour. It seemed Sandi was even more anxious than Yusun.

Then she went PSYCHO!  She accused Wilde of being a cheater!  ?!?!!?   Whaaaat?  No.  Nononononononono!  This can’t happen, not right now!

Oh Wilde, what has happened to you!  Look at how sad he looks.  He was all prepared to get some and she shot. him. down!

There was no option to apologize, though there was an option to ‘confess to ‘cheating,’ but come on, that is SO not Wilde’s style.  I looked for the ‘Wilde Stallion’ option, but stupid EA left it out.  They aren’t even going steady!

She put the baby down crawled all over his ass again.  Wilde just stood there and took it like a man.

He tried to give her flowers. It works for most guys when they’re in the doghouse, it will work for Wilde too, right?

WRONG!

I thought I’d won when I used the Woohooer’s ‘Try for Baby’ option.  They made out passionately.

Then her common sense kicked in and she blew up all over again.

I tried the ‘calm down’ option, that didn’t go well.

Wilde tried to invite her over and failed.

Sandi: YOU can go home ALONE!

Wilde went home humiliated…

And that was the end of Saturday and this update.  In the next update we will see if Wilde can repair his reputation with Sandi and possibly the other ladies in town.  And a big thanks to Generations (NOT) for messing up Wilde’s game.

At the end of this week Wilde had a total of 233 children, of the seven eligible ladies left six were pregnant.  And Wilde was wearing a giant scarlet A.

Wilde is now at the end of his life bar.  I can’t remember his age exactly, it’s like 92 or 93.  Hopefully he will be able to live long enough to see the women hit menopause!

I do have a question for those of you that download Wilde’s children: Should I put up a list of CC content?

The following teens have become young adults this week (alphabetical order, by first name):

EDIT: If you want one for download leave a comment.

Adria Morris

Alisha Morris

Celeste Bachelor

Christa Jolina

Clay Donner-Sw0rd

Cleveland Crumplebottom-Steel

Cornell Bunch-Hart

Cortney Ansari

Darrick Hatch

Edgar Kimura

Feisal Wainwright-Sekemoto

Feisal Sekemoto

Felipe Bunch

Frederico McGraw

Gerardo Landgraab

Glenn Hatch – This happened naturally.  He looks like he probably lives in his mother’s basement.

Hillary Bunch

Isaiah Crumplebottom-Steel

Karissa Morris

Kelley Mae

Kiana Alto

Leila Bachelor

Lincoln Bachelor

Lydia Crumplebottom-Steel

Marianne Landgraab – I just noticed there is something wonky about the dress she is wearing (shoulders)

Marisa Wainwright-Sekemoto

Naomi Ansari

Natalia Andrews

Quinn Bachelor

Regina Morris

Reisa Keaton

Rosie Kimura

Salvador Andrews (This guy has a hug jaw.)

Shasta McGraw

Shauna Alto

Somer Morris

Susanne Landgraab

Tammie (Worm Lips) Wainwright-Sekemoto

Tracy Alto

Venus Langraab

Vera Morris

Before I get started a note.  I have started using Windows Live Writer for my posts because I was having formatting issues with WordPress.  If you see any issues please let me know, this is my first post with Live Writer.

I keep getting notices about married couples that want to move in together but can’t because they can’t find a house to move into.  So, the first thing I did in Week Eight was to plop more houses around town and bless a few families with a little ‘Government Money.’  Hopefully that will appease the whiners for a while. As soon as Wilde was finished with his run on the treadmill I sent him to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house.  She was the only woman in town not pregnant.  That is, the only woman with a working reproductive system and not a child of Wilde’s. Wilde must have eaten his Total Cereal that morning because they got it on like he wasn’t scared of breaking a hip!

Kaylynn: *PFFFFT*

Wilde: Oh I hope you didn’t just fart in here.

Kaylynn: *blushes* It must have been the bed.

I know I said I wasn’t going to have anymore twin parties, but with all the women pregnant there is nothing better to do!

Wilde: Party time!

Brittney Morris: Is this a baby shower?

Yusun Ursine: Why is the Kid’s channel on?  I have to watch this crap at home!

Then as Wilde was surrounded by women with large bellies his Childbirth ESP tingled.

Wilde: Oooo, someone will be having a baby today.  Could it be you, Brittney?

River: Why her?  I’m two weeks passed my due date!

I’ve been there, River!  So not fun!

For some reason in this picture elder Wilde reminds me of Bill Nighy’s character (Billy Mack) in Love Actually.   If Wilde could serenade a woman by playing the guitar naked he would!

Bella: OML (Oh my llama), Wilde you look amazing.

Wilde: I know.

*Sigh*  Billy Mack, I love you.

Yusun is making sure there is no inappropriate touching going on.

Yusun: *Glares at Bella*

Holly: Get over it, Yusun.  Wilde is the town doorknob!

Then River went into labor!  Yay, another baby!

River: Either I’m in labor or I’m having the worst diarrhea cramps I’ve ever had!

Wilde: Did you eat the turkey?  It’s been out for a while…

Then all at once everyone freaked out!

Sandi: If it’s diarrhea you better get to the bathroom!

Wilde: No, not my throne!  Do not soil my throne!

Lisa: My husband just died.  WAAA!

Bebe:  If you’re in labor you should go to the hospital!

Derrick: Awe man, I wanted some of that turkey!

Yusun popped in her crazy eyes and decided to play some birthing music.  Um, no!  put that thing away.  The Kids channel is playing for a reason!

Bella: I’m not eating that turkey; I’ll have a cookie instead.

And then everyone decided to just ignore the screaming pregnant woman.

River: AHHHH!  I’M GOING HOME NOW!

And she did.  River calmly walked out the door, got in her car and went home.  Everyone else also decided to leave.  The party was “awesome verging on epic” because I can’t get a higher rated party!

Not long after she left River had her baby:

I normally don’t direct Derrick.  He’s pretty much just there in case Wilde dies.  But I decided to send him over to Jared Frio’s home to make nice.  I need to have Jared at more parties and Wilde can’t invite him over because they are enemies.

Jared: Anyone ever tell you, you’re too pretty for prison?

Derrick: Okay, I think I’ll just go back home now.

Derrick returned to the house and nervously cleaned up while Wilde ran on the treadmill. Not long after Bella had a daughter:

Early Monday morning Madison turned into an elder and crossed her off the useful list. As soon as he could Wilde paid a visit to Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto.

Bella: Wilde, I’m starving!

Wilde: I’ve got what you’re hungry for.

Before Wilde and Bella could get to the bedroom Brittney Morris gave birth:

And then the game lagged so bad that Bella left the house before Wilde could even get his ass up to the second floor where the bed was!!! So Wilde went home and invited over Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto.  Who is looking pretty bad in her middle years.  Maybe she should stop spending so much time at the dive bar.

They were about to get the job done in the hot tub when lllllllllaaaaaaaggggggg.  Then she hoped out and ran out the door with an, “I gotta go bye.”  AHHHHHH!  It’s like they don’t want to get pregnant anymore!

I think I may have to kill off some of the adult children now.  Sunset Valley may need to hold a lottery.  Or maybe deleting the school would answer all of my problems.  It doesn’t seem to lag like this on the weekends.

The game lagged it’s way through the school day and I decided to have everyone over for another party, only this time it would be a different sort of party!  O.0

Before the guests arrived Lisa McGraw had her baby:

Perfect, she can get pregnant at the party too!

Oh yeah.  Claire Ursine and Vita Alto died before the party.  No biggie, half this town is going to die if there aren’t some improvement with this lag. 

The guests started to arrive.  Look here’s Jared!

I immediately had Wilde put the moves on Bella. 

Blair and Sandi seem to be a little jealous. Eat it, Blair, you had your chance!

They ended up in the hot tub where Jared joined them NAKED!  Why did I invite him again?  Oh yeah, for the drama!

Jared: Don’t mind me.  I ‘m just gonna give my danglies a little soak.  Ahhhhh…

>.<

With Jared being a third wheel I decided to send Wilde and Bella to the bedroom.  When they got out of the hot tub Lisa (Bunch) McGraw slapped the crap out of Bella!

Lisa: WHORE!

And before I could scream GIRL FIGHT it was over.  Bella and Wilde got it on in the bedroom anyway.  With an audience.

Wilde: They all want me.

Sandi: I’m going to burn that bitch’s house down.

Brittney: Damn, I need a new look.  This Grace Jones thing just isn’t me.

After I heard a jingle I sent Wilde to seduce Blaire Wainwright-Sekemoto.  Things were going great.  Wilde and Blair were making out and I felt confident that he would get her in the sack.  I clicked away for a moment to check on the party.  When I got back Blair was running away! 

Wilde: Foiled yet again.

Look at poor Wilde.  He doesn’t understand why Blair runs away at a moments notice. Why Blair has suddenly decided to play hard to get I will never know.

Jared was causing trouble with Derrick.  He just won’t leave poor Derrick alone!

Jared: Your hair, it looks so soft and silky.  Can I touch it?

Darrick: No.  No one touches the hair, old man!

Oh, I guess some things are genetic.

Back at the hot tub Wilde finally got Lisa to join him.

One thing lead to another and…

Lisa: Oh, Wilde, I got chlorine in my eye and up my nose.  It burns!

Who’s kid is that!

Morris Child: This place really needs more artwork.

And she wasn’t the only one!  Brittney must have been babysitting her sisters because she brought three, THREE of them to the party!  I had Derrick ask all the underage girls to leave as soon as possible.  This was NOT a kiddie party.

Brittney: Quickly girls, go grab what ever food you can shove in your pockets.

I don’t know why Brittney is wearing that because it’s not like she put out at the party or anything.  I mean she made out with Wilde by the hot tub and all.

But after I gave her a Rihanna makeover she pulled a Blaire and ran out the door.

Maybe she didn’t like standing in Wilde’s pee puddle.  Why is she wearing pirate boots?

Wilde only managed to get two women pregnant at his party.  Bummer.  I’m really thinking about getting him that Inappropriate but in a good way reward.  Problem is I really like the drama when he gets caught.

Wilde spent the rest of the night on the treadmill.  In the morning (Tuesday) I tried to send him over to the Morris house.  She got away last night, but she won’t today!  Or so I hoped…  Wilde sat on the porch for HOURS!

Wilde: What could be taking so long.  A man needs to use the toilet!

Finally Monika Morris walked out onto the porch and WALKED RIGHT ON BY.  Bitch!

Wilde rang the doorbell again and I looked into the windows to see if Brittney was stuck.  As soon as she heard the bell…

Britney: Uh oh, that’s the door.  Mommy better put you down.

Irfan: *babbles*

She went into the bedroom.

Brittney: No one will find me in here.

WRONG!  I see you, you cheap Rihanna knock-off!

Then some of Brittney’s sisters came home.  Walked into the house and when Wilde rang the doorbell AGAIN they pretended not to hear it!

Irfan: DOOR!  DOOR!  DOOR!

Somer: SHH!  Brittney said not to answer it.  It’s that old guy.

Vera: Aren’t we related to him some how?

Vera: I didn’t hear the door.  I am a statue.  I am a statue.

In frustration I sent Wilde home and had him call River (Langerak) Landgraab.  She came right over.

River: Why are your pants still on?

Finally, Someone willing to woohoo with Wilde!  After Wilde said good-bye to River I had him call Blair (because I was feeling positive).  Wilde invited her over and she said no.  She said NO!  So, I had Wilde call and ask her five more times just for the hell of it.  She said no every.single.time.

Yusun had another baby, but I couldn’t be bothered with knocking her up at the moment.

Desperation made me go to town view and look for Blair and Brittney (who was no longer home.  She must have ran right after Wilde left her porch).  Blair was walking into the local dive bar.

Blair: That man keeps buggin me.  I’ll stick his picture up on the dart board.

Who did I send to the bar? 

Wilde: I could go for some bar food right about now.

I sent Wilde over to chat with Blair and invite her home.

For some unknown reason Blair thought Wilde was being rude!  Whaaaat?  What could be rude about calling someone six times in a row and then following them to the bar?

Blair: I just don’t want to come over!

Throughout the day I tried different things to help with lag.  First I placed a new school, it didn’t work.  Then I decided to trigger the age transitions for a bunch of teens and kids.  If that doesn’t work I plan to kill off a bunch of useless adults.  Like those that are giving me problems Blair and Brittney.  I may not be able to kill Blair and Brittney just yet, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take their loved ones away!  BWAHAHAH!!!! *drunk with power*

Instead of beating a dead horse (more than I already had) I sent Wilde to visit Yusun.

And then it all made sense; Blair had been going through The Change.

After Yusun and Wilde made a baby I sent him over to the Morris house because I can’t take no for an answer.

As Wilde waited outside for someone to answer the door Holly Alto and dead to me.

Vera: *ignores Wilde*

As Wilde waited he had another child, a child of the night.

Finally Vera got of her butt and chatted with Wilde.

Vera: You’re kind of old and creepy.  What do you want?

As Wilde was trying to get passed the gate keeper Brittney snuck out the back.

Wilde was finally able to talk to her and convinced her to come home with him.

Yeah, you know what’s happening now don’t you, Brittney?  Bown chicka wow wow!

They had to kick Derrick out of the bed.

Derrick: *grumbles*

Then things happened as they should and I nearly got up and did a touchdown dance!

That’s right, making babies!  I hope Wilde pulls out her weave while they’re under there!

By the time they were done and I booted her out it was Wednesday morning and time for Wilde to start the cycle all over again.

To start with I sent Wilde over to Sandi French-Alvi’s place.  Wilde waited patiently while the children piled out of the house on their way to school.

Once the children were gone Wilde wasted no time letting Sandi know exactly what was on his mind.

Wilde: Let’s take that coat off and let those things breathe.

Things moved along in the kitchen where the neighbors could see.

Sandi: What o you say we take this to the bedroom?  (I really can’t wait for shower woohoo.  It will be like killing two birds with one stone.)

Before they reached the bedroom Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had her baby.

Once in the bedroom things happened as you can imagine, with a small audience. 

Two more children to make the psychologists of Sunset Valley richer.

After getting River pregnant and ruining the innocence of two children it was time for Wilde to move on.  He called Bebe and met her at the theater.  Wilde was feeling GOOD.

Wilde: Chalk one up for the Ol’ Wilde Stallion.

Bebe and Wilde got it on in the theater, but there was no jingle.    I checked Bebe’s status, she was due to become an elder. 

Wilde did come away from the theater with a negative moodlet!  Doesn’t this game know that Wilde does not care about public woohoo?!  He once went home with his man-berries hanging out!

To cheer myself up I sent Wilde to the beach to pick on Christopher Steel.  I tried to zap him with the moodlet manager, but nothing happened. 

Christopher: Wilde, we meet again…

Bebe: What are we doing over here, Wilde?

Wilde: Woman, I told you I don’t need you any longer.  Go home!

I tried having Wilde invite Kaylynn over via the phone, but she denied a visit.  So I did the next best thing; I sent Wilde to her home.  Once there she pretended not to know him (the nerve). I had to go through all the get to know you options! Talk about wasting time!

Wilde: Girl, it me.  The father of all your children.  How can you not know me anymore?

Kaylynn: I’m sorry, I just don’t know who you are.

And I forgot to get a picture of it, but all of their children were booing Wilde for public woohoo.  Whatever, it’s just another notch on his belt.  Then someone had the nerve to jump into the bed.  Rather than deal with the hissing and name calling Wilde invited Kaylynn over to his place and she ran, RAN to the door!

And when they got to Wilde’s bedroom Derrick was shooing the out of the room!

Derrick: Nu-uh!  Out!

Wilde: Son, what have I told you about this.  You can use the bed when I don’t need it.  go sleep on the couch.

Wilde: Oh Plumbob, I think I’m kicking me some Derrick ass tonight!

Kaylynn: I feel awkward.  Is that lint?

Derrick eventually came to his senses and bunked down on the couch leaving Wilde and Kaylynn to get reacquainted with one another.

Kaylynn: Oh Wilde, I do remember you!

Wilde: Could you just be quite until I’m done?  I need to concentrate.

Once he was finished he asked her to leave and spent the rest of the night in the treadmill.

Thursday morning I tried to send Wilde over to Darlene Bunch’s house.  Buuuuuut, she was busy giving birth.

Darlene: And he shall be known as Joaquin!

After the baby was born I sent Wilde over to her house.  No time like immediately after giving birth to get pregnant again! As soon as Wilde rang the doorbell Darlene rushed out the the curb and got in her car to go to work leaving her newborn baby on the floor home alone. 

Wilde: Wjhat?

Darlene: Did I forget something?

Darlene: I’m late.  I gotta go.

Emma Hatch passed on, good-bye used up and useless.

Monika Morris and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto died. I may have had something to do with it… Brittney has been warned, hopefully in the future she proves to be more…agreeable… Blair knew it was coming, look at her just sitting there in the cemetery waiting to DIE!

Blair: Sitting in the cemetery is so peaceful…

The only bad thing about using Twallan’s mod to kill Blair is that she just disappeared.  I didn’t get to enjoy watching her die.  *is sad*

Because Darlene is the only female in town that I can get pregnant I scoured the town for her.  I was determined to hunt her down. make her quit her job and get her on her back!  Luckily I found her working at the Science Lab, Wilde hasn’t has a tour of the Science Lab yet.  I sent him right over.

Sims were leaving as he walked up the the door.  I was yelling at him, “Walk faster, Wilde.  RUN!”  I know he can’t hear me, but it helped cope with the stress of watching him CRAWL to the door.  When he finally got there two years later; Darlene was leaving!  *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

If Darlene keeps this up I may need to kill one of her brothers…

I canceled Wilde’s tour of the Science Lab and had him follow Darlene home.

Wilde: Hey, Darlene, wait up!

Darlene: *is too ugly to hear*

She has some seriously ugly.

Darlene was nearly home as Wilde was inching his way toward his car (Jamie).  I can not deal with this elderly walk.  He runs every night, how can he be crippled during the day.  Wait, never mind I just described my grandfather (gotta have those meds).  O.o

Luckily, Jamie is a fast car.  Wilde made it to the Bunch house just as Darlene entered the door and her brother Ethan came home.  I wonder how Ethan feels about dying today?  This challenge is making me crazy!

Doesn’t Ethan look stupid?  Like he probably had 8-10 years of high school?  And look at Wilde and his prissy look, it’s very Church Lady.

Dana Carvey: Well, isn’t that special?

This is Damaris Bunch, she has Wilde’s coloring, but clearly looks like Pumba her mother.  Here, Damaris is berating the maid for taking a 15 minute break.

Damaris:  Maid, did you dust the door jamb?  If I run my finger over it, will it come away clean, Maid?

Yeah, Damaris is a bit of a bitch.  She learned from the best though.  Pumba came into the room and noticed the maid quenching her thirst.  She threw down the trash bag she was carrying and demanded that the maid clean it up.

Darlene: Excuse me?  Do I pay you to drink my juice boxes or do I pay you to clean?

But when Wilde walked in the trash was all but forgotten.  Maids must gossip because this one clearly knew who Wilde was.

Wilde:  So are we going to go do this thing or what?

Darlene: Yes, of course.

Maid: It is zee Wilde Stallion!  I ‘ope I am next!

Aaaand, just the thought of being with Wilde was apparently enough for her.

Maid: Oui…  Oui…  OOOOUUUUUUIIIIIII!!!!

She left the house in shame.

Wilde: Why are we still here staring at each other?

Darlene: I don’t know, am I drooling?

And then Damaris had to put her two cents in and nearly ruin the moment.

Damaris:  Mother, do you know that woohoo is the leading cause of WTDs (woohoo transmitted diseases) and pregnancy?

Darlene: Go back to your homework, Damarais.  You’re father and I have some talking to do.

Damaris: Father? My friends are not going to believe this.  *takes picture*

Oh, but I think they will Damaris, for Wilde is their father also.

As Wilde and Darlene were talking Damaris and her Uncle Ethan started chatting.

Damaris:  Uncle Ethan, did you know that my mother is a piece of trash?

Ethan: Whoa!  You’re mom is a piece of garbage?

Ethan: Sooo…  Does that mean we’re not related?

Ethan: S’up?  *wink*

Damaris: Ew!  Of course we’re related.  You and my mother are siblings.

Ethan:  Nu’uh, I’m not garbage, I’m a Sim!

Then Damaris walked off mumbling something about being surrounded by idiots.

I was about to send Wilde home to his treadmill for the night when Bella had her baby.  Wilde went to her house instead.

Wilde arrived at Bella’s house and was invited inside.  Then she left.  I think maybe Wilde should just go home and start a new day!

See inside the window; that’s Wilde hoping to get some.  See here, outside the house; that’s Bella leaving.  It’s like Déjà vu.

Bebe Hart became and elder thus retiring from her role as Sim PEZ Dispenser.

Derrick Jolina become a mature adult all by himself.  Wilde was too busy being denied by the women.

Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave birth to a daughter.

I aerialy (is that a word?) stalked Bella to the movie studio and had Wilde join her there.

 

Wilde: I can feel you looking at me.

They toured the studio together and she left with a bun I the oven.

I then tried to squeeze in a visit to the McGraw house, but Wilde ended up on the porch waiting while everyone inside ignored  him.

Giving up I sent Wilde home to the treadmill. 

The next morning (Friday) River had another child.

Wilde invited Lisa over to his place twice, both times she said she would be right over, both times she did not show.  I decided to watch her house to see if she left.  She eventually did and she did not go to Wilde’s house, she went to the dive bar!

Wilde was quite happy to have found her, I can’t say the same about Lisa.  That is Wilde’s son, Jeremiah Wolff.  He’s a Wilde clone.

Lisa also pretended not to know Wilde during her stay at the bar (weird glitch).  Lisa eventually left alone and Jeremiah ended up on the bar.

Jeremiah: *dances*

Bartender: Shake that thing in my face and loose it!

Striking out for the last time, I sent Wilde home to burn off some steam on the treadmill.  Before the night was through Yusun gave birth:

Then I logged out for the night.  When I came back into the game I sent Wilde over to Lisa’s house.  I was determined to get her pregnant!  Wilde ran the whole way there.  I was a little unnerved by the way he was clutching his chest as he ran.

Wilde: Must.Not.Die.Yet…

No, damn you, you will not die now!  Get over there and knock her up!  We will run out of women before you die!

Wilde ran up to the door and rang the doorbell just before 3:00 am Saturday morning!  I love it when sims freak out when the doorbell rings.

Federico McGraw:  Whoa!  What the…  We have a DOOR?  When did we get a door?

Lisa granted Wilde entry and recognized him!  Finally!  Of course Wilde wasted no time at all and put the moves on Lisa.  Everyone in the room thought this was terrible person person minuses were flying around the room!  I have never seen a sim get so upset and threaten violence! 

Shasta McGraw: Why I aughta…

Lisa and Wilde ignored Shasta and her teenage hormones and made their way to the master bedroom where it was on like Donkey Kong.

The night was just too much for poor Federico and he went to bed.  But before retiring he decided to turn on the stereo and go ape shit.

Federico: GAAAAAH!  Why did I turn this on, I hate the stereo!!!

Outside the master bedroom door Shasta waited with tears in her eyes.

Shasta: Why does it have to be in my room?

And when it was over (three minutes later), Lisa asked Wilde to leave.  First time that’s ever happened.

Wilde left and ran on the treadmill until 7:00 am.

This is what happens when I leave Derrick home alone.  He’s broken the dishwasher and left a puddle.  There are cups EVERYWHERE and the toilet is disgusting!  Every time he uses the toilet it looks like this.  Not like he’s going to try and clean it up; that’s what the maid is for.

But the maid has stopped showing up lately.  I think I would too.

Brittney gave Wilde another child.  Let’s hope she’s learned her lesson and will put out when he asks.

Check out that toilet, it looks chunky.

Just for fun I made Wilde use it.

Wilde: I really need a shower now.

Remember the painting that Wilde stole form the Alto house?  It looks great in the Bachelor Pad.

Wilde like paintings with ladies in them.

I sent Wilde over to Yusun Ursine’s place.  She welcomed him with welcome arms. 

Everyone: Crying babies!!!

notice no one in this house cares if Wilde and Yusun are about to get I on.  Odd.  Perhaps because she has never been married?  I don’t know.

Widle and Yusun: Gross make out noises.

I tried and tried, but I could not get Yusun pregnant…  When I checked her status she is due to become a mature adult.  Look at how upset he is because we didn’t hear the lullaby.

It’s alright, Wilde, you will try again.

Sandi French-Alvi gave Wilde another child.  Looks like the last day of the week will be a busy one for Wilde.  *whip crack*

Sandi met Wilde at the theater.  As they were entering the building Sandi had this thought bubble. 

I’m not sure what to make of it.  Did she get fired from her job or does she have a burnin’ down below? 

After their date was over I sent Wilde over to City Hall because Brittney was there.  Look, my very first protest.  First one I have caught in any of my games!

Tammie Wainwright-Sekemoto:  Prom Queens for science!  We support science!!!

Regina Morris: Wait, what do we support? 

Tammie:  Science, Regina.  We support science, it brought us Botox.

That crazy old lady is Jamie Jolina.  She is such and avid supported of science it looks like she could beat Carrie Wolff with her sign just to prove a point.

Jamie: Imagine what I would look like without Botox!  I support science!

When Wilde got to City Hall stupid Brittney pretended not to know him.

Brittney: I’m sorry, do I know you?

Wilde whipped out his car which must have jogged her memory.

Brittney: Oh it’s you. The father of my many children!

Then they proceeded to woohoo in the judges chambers.  upon exiting City Hall they were booed mightily by the protesters for public woohoo.  You know they were all just jealous.

Wilde was invited to a party at the Crumplebottom-Steel home to which he brought Brittney.

Synchronized strutting it’s the coolest sport around.  So when your done playing Frolf get yourself over to a synchronized strut class!

The party was a bust, Christopher Steel wasn’t there, so Wilde couldn’t abuse him.  The highlights of the party were:

Meeting Hitler, I mean Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel.  It was his party.

Eating burnt Mac and Cheese.

Wilde: This is Mac and Cheese?  It looks like a bunch of dead flies.

Cleveland Crumplebottom-Steel: *chokes*

And before he left Wilde broke the john.

On his way home Justine Keaton died and River (McIrish) Landgraab became an elder and might as well be dead.

Also on his way home Yusun became a mature adult.  Wilde invited her over for a “wild night.”  This time we got a lullaby!

Kaylynn also had another child:

I just realized I forgot to get a picture of the school on Friday! It’s still really over crowded, but since I have made a bunch of the teens become adults my lag is slightly better.

At the end of this week Wilde was 86 he had a total of 221 children (16 born during Week Eight) and he has a grand total of 620, 898 Lifetime Happiness Points.  There are seven ‘eligible’ women in town, all but one were pregnant when I saved and quit at 4:23 Sunday morning (the start of Week Nine).

Here is a look at all those children:

 

 

The following teens have become young adults (alphabetical order).  If you want one for download let me know:

Aleksey Bunch

Angel Hart

Annette Alto

Benny Bachelor

Leisure Suit Larry Berjes Wolff

Betsy Wainwright-Sekemoto

Brook Hart

Chance Langerak

Christal Bunch

Corrie Wolff

Corrine Wainwright-Sekemoto

Cyrus Hart-Wan

Elias Hart

Elizabeth Jolina

Elsa French

Eric Wan

Eve Bachelor

Dean Wolff

Faye Wolff

Georgia Hatch

Gregg Hart

Janny Mae

Jeannie McGraw

Jeff French

Jeremiah Wolff

Jesse French

Joyce Crumplebottom-Steel

Juston Alto

Hitler Kenton Crumplebottom-Steel

Lee Alto

Letitia Donnor-Sw0rd

Letitia Mae

Logan Jolina

Mandy Hart-Wan

Meghan Donnor-Sw0rd

Miranda Ansari

Heman Monte Landgraab

Nichol French

Nikolas Bachelor

Mr. Robinson Phillip Andrews

Reid Bachelor

Rosalie Alto

Sammie Amsari

Shasta Landgraab

Starr Wolff

Tory Ursine

Tyler Langerak

Vanessa Kimura

 

as

I decided to start week seven off right.  A quick wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am with Yusun Ursine.

Yusun: Wilde, are you here for woohoo?

Wilde: You know it, baby.

Yusun: Ugh, who’s diaper is that?

Sasha Ursine: That would be your daughter, Trinity’s.  Oh, it smells like a llama crawled in her diaper and died!

Wilde: I get lost in your eyes.  And I feel my spirits rise.  And I soar like the wind.  Is this love that I am in?

Sasha: Oh, gag me with a spoon, Wilde.  You think my sister is dumb enough to fall for that?

Yusun: *butter*

That’s Wilde for you.  Totally ripping off a Debbie Gibson song.

Wilde: I can still smell that foul diaper.

Yusun: Shh, lay down and let Momma make you feel better.

Momma?  GRRRRROOOOOSSSSS!!!!!  I need to bleach my eyes because I wrote/read that!

After time well spent with Yusun Wilde went home to plan a party.  And it looks like Monika has decided to start robbing the cradle.

And this is probably a good thing considering Edmond was taking his father’s sloppy seconds.

Before the party started Wilde invited Lisa (Bunch)McGraw over for a quick jump in the sack.

Wilde: Is that something hanging out of your nose?

Lisa: Are you bothered by it?

Wilde: Not at all.

During Wilde, Lisa and the booger’s threesome Bebe Hart gave birth.

And after, while Lisa was in the bathroom, Wilde and Bebe Hart banged the headboard against the wall.  Jared Frio walked in when they had just finished.

Jared: WILDE!  You’ve been sleeping with my wife! (His wife is Tori (Kimura) Frio).

Wilde: Which one is your wife again?  Oh yeah, I’m sleeping with your daughter too. (Yusun)

Wilde then calmly walked over to Jared and asked him to leave.

Wilde: Look Jared, I need you to leave right now.  I’m in the middle of a party and I just can’t have an enemy moodlet right now.  We’ll talk later.

Jared: Oh okay, I’ll just go then.  Maybe I’ll run you down in my shiny new car!

Ayesha: YES!  My turn is next!

And I kid you not before Jared left I got a pop up that said he had a legendary time at the party! I didn’t get a pic of it because I fail.  And then he boo’d Wilde in the face!

By the way Tori (Kimura) Frio turned elder.  So the couple can live out their elderly lives together and raise Wilde’s children.

Morgana Wolff and Monika Morris also became elders.  And Nancy Landgraab died.

I hope Ayesha intends on cleaning up that toilet when she’s finished.  Wilde can be a little sensitive about his throne.

Ayesha: BLUGAHAHAHGUG…

Wilde decide to take the opportunity to do a little bragging.

Wilde: Do you know that right now all of you ladies are carrying my children?

Yusun: Plumbob, I’m hungry.  I must have a parasite or something…

Jared decided to stay during the party after all.  He danced until his back gave out.

Jared: Do the loco-motion with me.  You gotta swing your hips now.  Come on, come on.  Do the loco-motion with me.  Yeah.

Jared: Oh dear, I felt something pop.

Jared: OH!  That’s it, I can’t move.  Could someone help me get to a chair?  Or, or just down to the floor would be fine too…anyone?

Wilde had a private moment in the bathroom and became and elder.  And I guess he glitched, I can not use the hair he had as an adult for his elder stage.  It irks me!  This hair style makes him look like a cheap Wilde intimation.  And there are way too many stripes in this picture.

Wilde: Yeah, I’ve still got it.

Let’s hope Wilde doesn’t suffer from any other sort of “dysfunction.”

Wilde came out of the bathroom to find Jared passed out on the floor and Ayesha still dancing long after everyone else had gone home.  She better have twins or triplets, triplets would be good.

Wilde: Douche bag!  Hey, Douche, time to go home.

Jared: Nah, I’m good right here.  Zzzzzzz…

Ayesha: Woo!  Paaaartay!

It’s ridiculous!  This party stared at 2:00 and it’s now midnight and three sims show no sign of tiring going home.

Ayesha, stop vogueing go home already!

The following picture baffles me.  Lisa had been in the bathroom for a while.  I checked on her thinking she needed resetting.

Why is she naked staring at the toilet thinking about money?!?!  One can only imagine what she must do for money.

Lisa: Oh wait, this isn’t a public restroom!

Oh no.  He’s going to pee in the hot tub!

Jared: Hehehe, no one’s looking…

Oh!  It’s worse, much worse!!!

Jared: *naked spin*

Get out!  Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout.  GET OUT!!!!!!!!!111one!!!

Jared: Ahhhhh, this hat tub feels so good on my danglies.

I sent Wilde to the treadmill hoping his guests would take a hint.  Look!  I was able to fix his hair!  Who knew that deleting all those cache files would fix my problem!

Then finally Lisa decided to leave.  And I though Jared was also leaving, but when he saw the buffet table he instead grabbed a plate and decided to mow down.

Jared: I’ll come back for some cookies later.

Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab gave birth to a girl:

And again…

Jared is a seriously nasty old man.  He kept going from the hot tub to the buffet and back again.

And at 3:00 am Ayesha finally decided it was time to go home to her children.  Good riddance!

Ayesha: I better go home now.  I forgot I have kids.

Jared: *chokes*

Choke on it an die, Jared!

But finally Jared did decide to leave.

Jared: *sigh* I could get used to this view.

No!  Go home!  Wilde hurry and lock the door!

Finally it was Monday morning and with it came the birth of a son:

Since Wilde became an Elder I decided to move Derrick in.  In case Wilde dies on me before all of his children are born.

This will give Derrick and Wilde a chance to get to now each other, because right now they are enemies.  Not that he spends much time at home, I have him running all over just to stay out of the house.  I could have him throw a bunch of twin parties while Wilde woo’s the ladies, but that’ would be cheating.  😦

And as Wilde and Kaylynn were knocking da boots

Dorie Hart died.  She was elderly and useless anyway.  Emma Hatch is now old and useless…

After Kaylynn got dressed Wilde asked her to leave and called Darlene Bunch.  Then I tried to make sure Derrick would be away from th house until after Wilde got her pregnant, but I was distracted by this zombie!

Zombie: Braaaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnssss

Really, that is a freaky looking glitch!  I think I need to keep this picture.  Check out the clothes too!  Perfect!  She just need to have have half her cheek missing and an arm hanging off.

Really it’s the product of half siblings Fay VanWatson and Jeff French glitching out together.  Note to both:  Do not attempt incest!

So let me share a lullaby my daughter Emily sang to me not too long ago:  Go to swee-heep.  You will dweam what you wuh-hike.  Just don’t let the zombies bite you-hoo.  Yes, that is a lullaby.  Don’t have nightmares!

And here they are as separate entities again.

Faye: Searching for nirvana…

Uh oh, the last person to find nirvana died soon after she lost her body.  Learn from Zelda’s mistake and go back to work.

With this distraction I forgot to give Derrick something to do.  When I got back to Wilde’s place I saw this.

In my excitement I accidentally 3’d through Derricks angry action. Dammit!  Bummed I sent him off to see a movie at the theater.  Then Wilde and Darlene got down to business.

FACT: I now hear the lullaby before the act is actually started.  Wilde and his woman will still be on top of the sheets when I hear it.

Tuesday early in the AM Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor had a daughter:

And Pauline’s eggs dried up when she became an elder…  D:  Good-bye Pauline, you were my favorite, but now you may as well be dead.

Bella gave birth to a son:

Wilde invited Bella over for a cuddle and ….

Bella: Hands off!  I just had a baby, You can wait until the stitches are gone!

Wilde tried hitting her with the moodlet manager, but it did not work…

Wilde: Whaaat?  You’re supposed to be putty in my elder hands by now.

Bella: Stitches!  I…have…STITCHES!!!!  Touch me again and loose that hand.

So Wilde asked her to leave.  She’s about to transition to her Adult life stage anyway, she probably can’t get preggers.

Wilde: Turning 50 isn’t that bad, Bella.  Look you go home and have your birthday and I’ll see you again after.  We can…catch up…

Bella: 50!  I’m turning 30!

Notice the baby in the background outside on the grass.

Bella: (thinking) Maybe I should get some Botox.

After Bella picked up her child and left the maid came in to clean up.

Maid: Hey, Wilde.  Is my turn yet?

Wilde: Marry someone in town and we’ll talk.

Maid: I’ll be in here scrubbing the toilet, Big Boy.

Yeeeah…  That’s not hot.  In fact Wilde drew a blank.

Wilde: Uhhhhhh…

Wilde invited Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor over for some scrumpin.  She came over in her Mary Kay car.

Madison: Oh Wilde, I really hope this is the year I get my pink Mary Kay car!

Wilde: Whatever, I don’t care.  Let’s hit the hot tub.

And they did.  They actually sat in the hot tub where Jared soaked his ‘danglies.’  Well, they did more than just sit in there.  It was beyond gross.

Madison: Want to see how long I can hold my breath?

Then Wilde got out of the hot tub and lost his bladder!

Wilde: Err uhh, I think it’s time for you to leave now.

After Madison left Wilde called River (McIrish) Landgraab who Wilde another son:

As I was waiting for River to show up I noticed this happening across the street.

I don’t know, it looked more like a bitch-slap to me.

Looks like Wilde has some competition:

Ethan Bunch is such a looser.

Wilde as invited to a party at Holly Alto’s place which he accepted.  He didn’t realize it was a birthing party.

Holly: Time to push out this baby.  VJ and Mom, I need you to dance and scream like your feet are on fire.

VJ: I feel it!  Oh hot.  Hot, hot HOT!

In other areas of the home the school aged children were calmly doing other things.  What horror have these children seen to have turned their hair gray so young?

Lee Alto: Dear Tory Ursine, I know you’re my half brother, but true love can’t be stopped…

Crrrreepy…

And while everyone was downstairs Wilde snuck away to check out the house.

Wilde: Hmm, pretty painting.

Wilde stole it…

What a bastard.

And outside he ran into Monika Morris, who looks to be suffering from some zombie-like affliction.

Wilde: Oh hey, Monika.  This is award…

Monika: Brains?

Holly finally had her baby so I sent Wilde back inside.

Look he takes after his daddy, already winking at the ladies.  And LOL at Vita Alto’s face!

Keven: This ones for the ladies: Goo.  Yeah.

Vita: Oops, I just crapped my pants!

Vita: Keven’s not the only one needing a diaper change.

Looks like Monika has a taste for young ones.

Monika: Brrraaaaainssss…

Tracy Alto: Mommy!

I sent Wilde to the bar for a quick drink before trying to woohoo Holly.  When he got there we were both surprised by what greeted him.  What kind of party is this?!

Hot girl on girl action it is not!  I guess we know where those two are headed next…

Giving up on the drink I sent Wilde to try for a woohoo with Holly.  I guess she didn’t like being woken up because she was not willing to put out.  But who goes to sleep during their own party, really!  Rude!

Holly: No, no.  Not now, I just gave birth and I’m sooo tired.

Wilde: I guess I’ll leave then.

Wilde left and went to Sandi (French) Alvi’s house.  On his way there Illiana died and Ayesha gave birth.

Ayesha disappointed me with her single child birth.  She should have given Wilde twins at least!

At Sandi’s house Wilde had her in bed in no time at all.  She even wore her shoes to bed.  Kinky!

Wilde: Just don’t stab me with one of those things, okay?

And before Wilde went home for the nightly treadmill marathon another child was born:

Wednesday morning started off with Wilde’s neighbor, Yusun checking the mail in her pajamas.  Before she could get her pregnant but inside and in a robe she went into labor.

She gave birth to her son on the front lawn.  Not like he won’t end up on the lawn at some point during his infant stage so he may as well get used to it.

Wilde of course decided now was the time to strike.

Yusun: Hi, Wilde,  I just had this baby and I really need to get to the bathroom to clean up.

Yusun: Oh no!  I’m not going to make it!!!

Wilde: You just pee’d on that baby.

Wesley: WAAAAAA!  Why am I wet?  WAAAAAA!

Yusun: I smell disgusting!

Lisa (Bunch) McGraw gave Wilde another child:

I get a lot of skipping school notices and usually I just ignore them, but this one caught my attention.

Dammit, Edgar!  Get your ass to school already!

Jocasta Bachelor died.

Aaaaand climbing the stairs was too much for Wilde.

Wilde: Damn this elderly bladder!

Even toxic stink isn’t enough to keep Wilde away from his target.

Yusun: I wet myself, Wilde.

Wilde: So did I.  So did I…

Rule number one in child safety: Baby gates.

Wait, what?  Who needs to waste their money on a baby gate?

A couple quick shots of the school.  Here is the front of the school:

And this is Cancer Corner where all the naughty kids go to smoke,

Bebe Hart had her child:

Wilde strutted his way over to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s house.  She came outside and blubbered all over Wilde about the death of her mother.

Kaylynn: Blub-blub-blub, my mother died.  Blub-blub-blub…

Wilde: Awe…  Let me take the pain away for about 5-7 minutes (if we’re lucky).

And you guessed it!  Another child had to witness their parents woohoo.  There isn’t going to be a sane child left in this town.

Erica Landgraab: *crawls inside herself and finds another personality*

Let’s hope when Erica is older she learns it is socially unacceptable to go around without a top on.

And just so you know just how bad the lag is now.  When Wilde was finished with Kaylynn it was already 7:00 pm.  He went to her place right after he shtooped Yusun at 7:00 am.  For hose of you that can’t count that’s 12 sim hours!!!! *pulls hair*

Next Wilde headed over to Bebe Hart’s place.  The game was running much smoother since I came back into is with deleted cache files again.

Amazing!  This baby knew how to use the elevator!  And Wilde looks like he’s about to grab some fat woman’s butt.

Isaac hart: Do-di-do, Just going about my business.  My  Biz-NAZ!

This is Cyrus Hart and he thinks he is carrying around a baby.  I thought only women did that…

Cyrus Hart: *baby voice* Who’s a good baby?  You are, you are!  Yes, you are!

Cyrus followed Wilde upstairs and ever so gently placed invisa-baby on the floor.

Gently…

Genlty…

Hmmn…  Nope, still no baby.

Wilde tried being friendly with Jonah Hart.

 Wilde: You got tickets to the gun show?

Jonah: Are you talking about your noodle-like arms?

Wilde tried another tactic.

Wilde: Have you ever arm wrestled upside-down?

Jonah: Please, I would snap your calcium deprived wrist like a wishbone from thanksgiving five years ago.

Failing Wilde went over and put the moves on Bebe and EVERYONE had something to say about it.

Talk about a hostile environment.  Hey look, there really was a baby after all!

Wilde: As long as no one tries to nap in the bed (there is only one) that’s all I care about.

Nora hart: Oh jeez!  I went to the toilet for a minute!  I guess I’ll go do my homework.

Wilde: *barking*

Bebe: *meows*

Nora Hart: Sickos.

While Wilde impregnated Bebe for the 5,000th time I decided to scope out the town.  When I found Mortimer, I blessed him with a makeover.

Looking much better.

Wilde and Bebe finished up about 10:00, which left him time to get at least two more sims pregnant before 3:00 am.  He called Holly Alto, but she isn’t returning his phone calls.  I think it’s shame.  After all she sis have everyone over to witness her give birth and you know they all saw her hooha (<– look I made up a word)!  Then he met Ayesha Ansari at City Hall for a romp in the judge’s chambers.  As soon as Wilde walked through the doors she turned around and said she was tired and needed rest.  Bitch!  What is going on!  It seems the ladies don’t like an elderly Wilde.  Poor, poor Wilde.  I may have to start using Derrick Jolina to lure them over…

Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto did come home with Wilde and they had some fun in the tainted hot tub.

Thursday morning after a quick workout and shower Wilde ran to City Hall for a tour.  You see River (Langerak) Landgraab works there, hence she can not escape the baby making.  Bwahah Bwahah BWAHAHAHAH!

Then Wilde drove over to Holly Alto’s place.  She was in a much more agreeable mood.

Holly: That was most agreeable.  Thank you ever so much, Mr. Oates, now please leave.

Wilde: I was on my way out anyway.

Wilde decided to drop by the Ansari-Frio home.  The Ansari-Frio couple have broken up by now.  And by the looks of this picture Ayesha has changed the locks.

Funny, Wilde had no problem getting through the door and into the bedroom.

Ayesha: YAY!

Just before Ayesha and Wilde did the wild thing Darlene gave birth to a daughter:

Ayesha gave me no baby jingle.  I checked her status and she was due to become and elder.  What a waste!

So before he left I sent him in to break the toilet.

Wilde: Gaahhh!  I hate it when a women lies about her age!

Wilde then drover over to Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto’s place and hit that.

Wilde: Let’s make this quick.  I need to take a leak.

Bella: Excuse me?

From there Wilde went home and spent the night on the treadmill while Derrick slept in his bed.

Friday morning I noticed Brittney Morris was now a young adult and working at the Studio Lot.  What a coincidence that Wilde decided to take a tour of the Studio that morning!  Fate!

Wilde left the studio with Brittney pregnant and demoted.  Oops!

At this point all of the women in town were pregnant except Lisa (Bunch) McGraw and her sister Darlene Bunch.  Lisa was at work so Wilde patiently waited outside her office building.

Wilde: B.O. Check.  *sniffs* Ahhh, Still fresh…

Gross.  I wonder if he checks his underwear for freshness the same way.

While Wilde was busy waiting for Darlene to exit the building I found Mortimer Goth.  It seems he still isn’t over the whole ‘Bella Betrayed Me’ bit.

Mortimer: Why, Bella, why?

Here’s a better shot of his makeover.  Maybe he, like Bella, will  now find true love.

Mortimer: I need to get laid.

And Friday means we need an end of the week shot of the school.

It’s like trying to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar!

Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave Wilde another son:

oh look who left work through the other door!  That’s alright, that’s Wilde’s car there behind her.  You can run, but you can’t hide!  I feel like woohoo shots are becoming increasingly boring so I’ve skipped those pictures.

After Lisa and Wilde made a baby I sent him to the theater where Madison was.  I guess, Madison was a little disappointed because she ran out of the theater crying.  I never heard the lullaby.  😦

Madison: I feel so violated!

Oh, go home and cry about it!

Victoria Andrews died, so long Wilde used up all your eggs anyway.

And then I got this pop up which made me LOL.

That would be because she’s dead!  Sheesh!

Wilde was invited to another party and considering how the last one went I was a little nervous.  Would this one also be a birthing party?  Where there going to be old ladies macking on each other?

Looks like I had nothing to worry about.

Wilde: Hey, guys.  Where’s the party?

Because this ‘party’ was a funeral for a goldfish…

Megan Landgraab: *crying* Bye bye, Nugget.  You were the best pet ever!  (Get it, Nugget.  Gold Nugget!  Yeah, it was lame…)

Look who was creeping on the front porch.

Tom: *deep baritone* Hey, is Wilde here?  I heard Wilde was going to be here.  Can I come in?  Hello?!

Interesting fact: Morgana Wolff is a dentist.

River: Can you make my smile whiter?  Also, is there anything you can do about my halitosis?

Wilde left the funeral early to pork Darlene Bunch.  Darlene is never a disappointment, she’s as easy as Pauline Wan.

Darlene: Let’s get it on already!

Once they were finished Wilde went home to spend the rest of the night on his treadmill.  On his way there Sandi French-Alvi gave birth to a boy.

Funny how this is just now news.  Really, where have these people been Wilde has fathered the whole town!

Saturday morning and the last day of the week Wilde ran over to Sandi French-
Alvi’s house and they played hide the sausage.

Bed: *violent squeaks*

Here is a shot of all her children (there is one more outside):

That place is pretty packed for a one bedroom, one bathroom house.

Yusun gave birth.  Guess where Wilde is headed to next!

Wilde and Yusun snuck out around the back of the house for a short stolen moment before sneaking up stairs to the bedroom.

Once there Yusun feigned shyness and jumped out of the bed.

Wilde: Where are you going, baby?  No need to be shy, I know you’re a sure thing.

She ran outside just to place baby Wesley on the grass then ran back p to the bedroom where Wilde was waiting.  Crazy!

Leroy: Mommy put you outside too?  Are we in trouble?

Wesley: *cries*

Once Yusun returned to the bed she and Wilde were able to continue with their ‘business.’  While that was happening Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab had a girl:

Bebe hart gave birth:

Kaylynn was busy showing her new daughter off at the bar so I sent Wilde over to Bebe Hart’s place.  He had quiet a time trying to get her into bed.

Wilde: Don’t even think about it kid.  Your mother and I have dibs on the bed.

I had to tell Brook (in the purple) and Jonah (blue boxers) to get out of the bed before I could get Wilde and Bebe in it.  Then when they were finally able to ‘relax’ Bebe went to sleep!!!!  I woke her ass up!

Wilde: Girl, I can’t believe you tried to go to sleep like that on me.  You know my time is precious.

Bebe: Oh, I’m sorry, Wilde.  I just had another baby and I am just exhausted.

Wilde: You can stay awake for two more minutes and let me do my thing.  Then I’ll be on my way.

That Wilde is such a gentleman!

After I heard the lullaby it was time for Wilde to go home and spend the night running on the treadmill.

At the end of Week Seven Wilde’s age was 79 and he had a total of 205 children.  I have given up on having twin parties because they are no longer working.  I guess my town is over populated or something.  O.o

Here’s is a look at Wilde’s family tree.  It gives me a headache.

The following teens became young adults.  Here they are after their makeovers. (In no particular order, Wildes’s children age randomly).  Again, if you are interested leave a comment and I will upload them.  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

Colleen Donnor-Sword

Faye VanWatson

Sasha Ursine

Ahmad Ursine

Elbert Ansari

Brendon Wan

Sharla Mae

Brendon Landgraab (needs chest hair and gold medallion)

Chastity Alto

Abigail Hatch

Van Hart

Brice Wan

Karrie Wan

Alexandria French

Lisa Lobe Carisa McIrish

Demarcus Landgraab

Kendall Wan

Sherri Jolina

Chauncey Ansari

Esmeralda Hatch

Shelley Hart

Reagan Hatch

Krystal Hart

Nichol Hart

Wayne Alto

Barrett Hart

Karl Jolina

Tracy French

Justin Bieber Arturo Mae

Before I dive into this post let me just say that I am glad I am trying this out before Generations is released.  Once those Romance Reputation Points (or whatever) are in effect this challenge will become a whole lot harder.  I will probably have to try it again.  Next time I’ll be sure to plop my Simself in town.  >:)

I started playing a bit but when I clicked into town view my game crashed!  Uh-oh, could this mean Wilde has too many children? Nahhh…

Right away Sunday morning at 3:45 am Wilde became the father of another set of twins.  This time by Yusun.  I really can’t wait to see how her children come out.

Then I get this popup.  Bella and Sam Sekemoto tied the knot.  Looks like all she needed was an awesome make over.  Bella, you are welcome.

Around this time Wilde also finished the Marathon Runner Challenge so lets hope he lives a longer, healthier life like it says.

I sent Wilde over to the Ursine house to have a quickie with Yusun and this is what I found.

Mitchell: WAA!!!  The floor is cold and dirty!!!  It smells like feet!!!  WAAA!!!

His twin sister was downstairs on the living room floor.  Oh, by the way, i gave Yusun freckles.  I like her even more now.  She may show up in another game of mine…

Wilde: Wanna take a ride on my disco stick?

Once lullaby and impregnation were achieved Wilde was on his way to to Monika Morris.

About this time I noticed Wilde had enough relationship points to name his car.  He named it Jamie, after the woman that gave him is first child.  Jamie is now and elder and useless.

Before Wilde could even get to the door I could hear the children inside crying.

Wilde: I really need to invite more women to my house.

The problem with that is most of them stand him up for some reason.  It couldn’t be his treatment of them could it.  Anyway, making house calls like an Avon lady guarantees that there will continue to be more and more pregnant women in town.  Now if we can keep them from aging so soon…

Britney and Wilde were getting it on while Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd had another baby.

Monika has apparently been pregnant most of her adult life and can not remember how to walk normal.  That or Wilde broke her.  O.o

Monika: Even when I’m not pregnant I still feel pregnant.

Wilde: That’s probably due to your stretched out ute.  The only cure I know of is to have another baby.  Good thing I’m here.

What a nice guy!

Monika and Wilde also left poor Brittney in charge of the children.

Brittney: Oh, I wish someone would just shoot me.

So sorry, Britt, but I think your life of torture is just beginning.

After Wilde was finished with Monika he headed over to Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd’s house.  He was stalling because walked the entire way there.  Not walked, strutted, that stupid I-take-forever-to-go-anywhere-strut!!!  I like the strut, I just wish it only lasted 15-30 sim minutes.

Wilde: *sings* She’s gonna have my baby.  She’s gonna have my baby…

Tom: *deep breathy whisper* Wilde, I knew you’d come for me.

Wilde: Whoa, hey.  Ever heard of personal space, Tamara?  A man need room to, you know, escape your breath function.

Some finished the salad Tamara had started and it was like the farmer poured the slop for the pigs because they all came running.

Glen Hatch: Meghan get away from the plate!  You ate yesterday, it’s my turn to eat!

Meghan Donnor-Sw0rd: Come between me and this plate and I will eat your ear like a circus peanut!

Emma Hatch interrupted Tamara and Wilde’s romp in the sack.

Emma: Oh no!  I can’t believe this!  I’m going to impale myself with my arm!

Emma: (addressing Tamara) Look, when you’re done in here you need to deal with your kid. (addressing Wilde) You and I are over.

Bella (Bachelor) Sekemoto gave birth to a son at 7:40 pm:

Bella’s turn was next.

Wilde: It’s a good thing your husband doesn’t live with you yet.  If you want to stay married, that is.

Bella: My husband has nothing to do with what happens in the bedroom.

And off to Morgana Wolff’s house where Gus Hart was blocking the way in.

Gus Hart: Sorry, Mr. Wilde, sir.  The Boss says I ain’t s’pose’ta let you in.

Never one to be told no, Wilde found another way in.

Wilde: Oh, Morgana, I came in through the back door.

Morgana: Oh, Wilde!  My husband has gone crazy.  He doesn’t trust me and posts a guard outside while he’s gone.

Morgana: Wilde, take me to the bedroom.

Wilde: Wait…  …  … okay let’s go.

Once Wilde finished with Morgana he went to River (McIrish) Landgraab’s house.

Wilde: Uh jeez.  What smells like piss?

JC: That’s probably me.  I dribbled in my pants a little bit.  There kinda damp.

Wilde: TMI, son.  I would have blamed it on the old guy if I were you.

River: OMG, JC!  Get to the bathroom now before Uncle Wilde leaves!  Get to the bathroom now!  Right now!

JC: I’m going, I’m going.

While JC rushed off to the bathroom River and Wilde rushed to the bedroom and left her husband and son in-law with the criers.

Malcolm: Where did your wife go?  Shouldn’t she be taken care of these brats?  I come over here so I don’t have to deal with my own, why would I help with yours?

Malcolm is married to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab who has four of Wilde’s children with another on the way.

Geoffrey: Dammit, you’re right.  Where did that woman go?

Geoffrey was forced into the kitchen to make the crybabies something to eat. When he started to hear odd sounds coming from the room above.

Geoffrey: I sense betrayal!

About this time Madison gave birth to another child:

Geoffrey and Malcolm went upstairs to see what all the ruckus was.

Geoffrey: Well lookie here.  Looks like we got a fight on our hands.

Malcolm: I’m gonna break me some bones. *cracks knuckles*

Geoffrey: Son, go get my icepick.

Goeffrey rounded the end of the bed and that is when Wilde lost it.  And by it, I mean his bladder.  Wilde wet his pants out of sheer terror.

Wilde: Hey, I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Wilde quickly recovered himself and decided to taunt Geoffrey as he left.

Geoffrey: You’re going to sleep with the fishes.

Wilde: *sings* Oops I did it again.  I slept with your wife.  She’ll be pregnant for life.  Gimme some babies, babies…

Then Wilde ran off to meet Holly Alto at the theater.  Left her pregnant and Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor was there, so he banged her too.  Then he ran to console Darlene about her father’s death.  He knocked her up.

Then before he left he convinced her to breakup with his son Derrick and date him instead.  Of course Darlene jumped at the chance.  And with hat Wilde completed his Lifetime Wish.  Thank you Darlene!

Hmmm…  I wonder what he will do next.  Probably BANG SOME CHICKS!

Early Tuesday morning Pauline Wan gave Wilde another daughter.

So it was only natural that Wilde pay her a visit.  When he arrived this is the sight that greeted him.  Notice Janny Wan is compulsively counting her fingers and Brendon Wan is creepily staring out the window at his new baby sister, Leticia, who is ON THE GROUND!  Really, Pauline, did you just give up trying?  And the other little one to the left is Qiana Wan; I think she may be trying to escape her family.

Janny: One, two, thr..wait.  One, two, three, f…wait…

As soon as Wilde entered the door her walked straight for the bedroom.  Pauline was overcome with excitement and gave a loud cheer.

Pauline: ALRIGHT!  YESSS!!!  HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!

As Wilde and Pauline were getting jiggy with it (nah nah nanannananah) Eguardo entered the room making him the 10th child scarred for life.  Janny also entered the room looking from Qiana.  If you’ll remember from Janny’s toddler years she has already been scarred by Wilde and Pauline’s antics.  Perhaps this is why she compulsively counts her fingers.

Eguardo: Mommy, what’s happening!

Janny: Have you seen Qiana?  Anyone…two, three…

Knocking Pauline up made every fertile woman in town pregnant at the same time!  That was the case for about two house until Ayesha Ansari gave birth to another boy.

Then as Wilde was driving to the Ansari home two more children were born.

And before Wilde could begin to seduce Ayesha, another child was born.

And another.

And another…

Seriously, this is ridiculous!  Finally, there was another set of twins.

If you remember, Zelda is now an elder:

Come on you little cock-blockers!  Wilde is trying to get some action and you’re lagging up the game!!!  Uhhhhh, my game is sooooo s-l-o-w now.  I think some old people need to start dying, maybe the old women…

Finally the birthing stopped and I tried to get Wilde and Ayesha to spawn.  Only, Ayesha’s children were blocking the way to the FREAKING DOOR!!!  MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!!  Notice there is a baby inside on the floor as well.

After Wilde finally got Ayesha into bed I forgot to take a picture.  -_-

Anyway, he left her impregnated and drove over to the McGraw House where he ruined yet another marriage.

First, when Wilde walked through the door Lisa’s children were screaming for various reasons.  This made everyone in the house angry or sad.

Wilde: This place smells like baby puke and poop.

Lisa: Oh, I hate my life.

Shasta: More babies!  More babies!!!  I HATE BABIES!!!

Lisa and Wilde started making out in front of her husband Stiles.  After all the person person minuses he came over to have a closer look.  I love his expression.

Stiles: Lisa?  Darling?

Lisa and Wilde made their way upstairs where Wilde made her feel better for a little while (until the morning sickness kick in).

Lisa: I’m so sad.  My dad died and I have a house full of crying babies.

Wilde: It’s getting old.  Just get on the bed and I can get the Hell out of here.

Three more children were born while Lisa and Wilde were bumping uglies.  Wilde’s Childbirth ESP was going crazy.

I also received a notice that Wilde’s daughters Griselda and Lindy Wan became young adults.  Here are their pictures after the makeovers.  Griselda (first pic) looks a lot like her mother.

I’ll try to get them in on the downloads page if there is any interest.

At this point I placed a few starter homes around town, hoping people would spread out and or maybe some new females would move in (which I doubt).  Wilde is four days from being an elder, I am hoping for the best.

Now early Wednesday morning and I sent Wilde over to Sandi French’s house.

Wilde: I’m here Sandi.

Sandi: To the bedroom then?

But when they entered the bedroom Nichol (dress) and Elsa were already in there.

Nichol: Don’t do it.  Don’t have another baby, Mother. I…will…choke…myself…  aack…aack!

Sandi: Girls, Mommy needs the bedroom for a while.  Go watch TV.

Luckily the girls did leave the room and their sanity was saved.  Well, Elsa’s sanity…

Just between you and me, I think Molly was a little jealous.

After hearing the lullaby I sent Wilde home to the treadmill.  As soon as it was socially acceptable Wilde made his rounds.

First he called Emma Hatch and invited him over.  When she refused he then invited her out to the theater.  When she refused again Wilde paid her a visit at her home; because no one tell’s Wilde no.

Wilde: Whoa!  Tamara is OLD!  Thank you sweet, merciful Simgod!

As Wilde waited forever for the door to be answered.  Hello! You have windows, he can SEE you!  Ayesha Ansari married Connor Frio, the town ape.

Geoffrey and River have made up.  But really, who is he kidding, River is his last chance.  Wilde has tapped all the ladies this town has to offer.

And Yusun gave birth to a son.

I guess Emma was still a little peeved over the whole finding Wilde in bed with Tamara thing.

They still had the make up woohoo anyway.

Emma’s neighbor Monika Morris gave birth.

So that is where Wilde went after he was finished with Emma.

Cyclone: Are you here for Tamara?

Wilde: Nah, that dude’s all yours.

Cyclone: But you’ve soiled my bed!!!!

Notice the baby in the background has passed out from exhaustion.

Again Wilde insisted on anoying my with his Strut of Pride.  He strutted the whole freaking way to Monika’s house, that brown one there.

Did he stop strutting when the bufff wore off?  NO!!!  It took him a whole 3.5 hours to strut his ass over to Monika’s house.  This better be worth it.  Bastard.

I was checking out the surrounding as Wilde was CRAWLING to Monika’s house.  I am looking for a mod to take that strut out!  Anyway, I decided to look up in the sky and lookie what I found.  An airplane!

I thought it was pretty cool.

Wilde finally made it to Monika’s house which was full of crying babies.  It was like being at the pediatrician.  Wilde started to make his move and I noticed this little demon sweetie.  I’m sure she’s a lovely child…

Sommer: *stink eye*

Monika is still broken.  She walks with the pregnancy waddle even when she isn’t.  I think she many need to have her spine adjusted

Monika: Llama balls, my back hurts.

Children: I’m tired!  I’m Sleepy!

Brittney: *gritting teeth* Shut up before I give you something to cry about.

Wilde met Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto at the theater and he plowed her fields.

Then Wilde invited Yusun over to his house, she ended up staying the night.  She had to have another makeover.  I took the CC out of the laptop to try and improve my game (I kept the freckles skin), but it didn’t help.  It’s all those kids!

Wilde: Ready for Patty Cake?

Yusun: I’m always ready for Patty Cake.

Thursday morning Wilde decided to throw a twins party at his place.  He invited all the pregnant women he knew.  Before the party got underway he invited Bebe Hart over for a quick game of hide the sausage.  And before the party could even start two women gave birth.  Way to spoil the fun!

And one got married and left her new husband at home while she went to Wilde’s party.

The first person to show was Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor.  She made a bee line for the hot tube.  Maybe she wants a poached baby.

Madison: Ahhhhhhhh…

She did eventually come into the house and promptly went into labor!

After she had everyone screaming and freaking out she very calmly took herself to the hospital.

Just after Madison had her baby Fiona McIrish died.

Wilde and Morgana tried to sneak away as people started to filter out.

While Wilde was trying to get his laggy butt into the bed Bebe had some enjoyment of her own.

Beb: YES!  I took a massive dump in Wilde’s toilet.  This was AWESOME!!!  Best party ever!

Wilde is not going to be happy about that.

Just as Wilde started to settle onto the bed Morgana jumped out with a flash and ran out the door.

Morgana: I’ve got to go.  Thorton is going to be home soon.

Wilde (from the bedroom): But we didn’t woohoo yet!

So instead Wilde decided to burn off some frustration on the treadmill.   While he was running Ayesha (Ansari) Frio was partying all by herself in the bedroom.

Ayesha: *waiting for Wilde*

Sorry, Ayesha, you’re knocked up.  You’re not getting lucky tonight.

After this I went into town view to see who needed some attention from the Wilde Stallion.  When I tried to click on Darlene Bunch’s icon nothing would happen.  So I went in for a closer view and what do you know!  Darlene was in labor!!!!

I sent Wilde to Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab’s instead.   On the way there Darlene gave birth.

Wilde’s son Tyler Langerak is his TWIN *sings*.

Too bad he is forever emotionally scarred from witnessing what no child should ever have to witness.  He was actually scarred earlier, maybe he likes it?  Yuck!  Venus brings the total to 11.

Venus: Tyler, what’s happening on the bed?

Tyler: Don’t look, Venus.  Just don’t look.

Bed: *harp music*

What a great way to start a Friday!  And on this day Wilde is two days from elderhood.

Wilde’s daughter Tamara French became a young adult.  Her she is after he makeover.

I sent Wilde home to waste a couple hours and across the street I see Griselda Wan and Christopher Crumplebottom-Steel.  Looks like they were having and eyebrow lifting contest.  I wonder who won…

Wilde got out of his car and took a look in the side view mirror.

Wilde: So hot.  *touches rear* ptssss…

As soon as I could I sent Wilde over to Darlene’s place so he could have his way with her.  She nearly wet herself when she saw Wilde.  Jeez, she’s hideous.

Darlene: Must rush to the bathroom.  Having trouble.with.bladder.since.baby…

Maybe she should start investing in adult diapers, it’s not like that is going to be her last baby or anything.

Another baby was born, another Chauncey.

Once Wilde was finished with Darlene he turned her TV on to the KidsZone Channel and ran out the door to the theater.  He had a double date with Morgana and River.

Once there Wilde lagged his way through the date.  River, who just lost her husband, ended up leaving pissed off.  Morgana turned into an elder.  This date was a bust!

While the date was lagging.  I scoped out the school again.  Oh my, who’s children are those!!!

And they aren’t all fully loaded yet.  After I took the picture more of them were appearing like magic.

Wilde did finally get into Madison (VanWaton) Bachelor’s pants.  She then gave him the fright of his life.

Madison: RAWRRRIWANNAHAVEYOURBABIES!!!!!!

Wilde: *panics*  I didn’t sleep with her!

Great!  Now what am I going to do she’s scared the fertility out of him.  Madison dies if she’s made him sterile.

Bella rode by the theater on her bike in her bikini.  Personally, I think she was looking for Wilde.  She probably rode by his house three times before coming to the theater.

Bike: *ring, ring*

No problem, Wilde followed her home.

Bella: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Wilde: Come closer and find out.

Sandi French-Alvi gave birth.

And Griselda Wan married Christopher Steel.

The next morning (Saturday and the last day of the week),  Sandi French-Alvi came over for some X-Rated fun.

Wilde and Sandi: *really gross makeout sounds*

After Sandi was booted out of bed Wilde ran over to Waylan’s Haunt and invited River back to his place.  Zelda nearly distracted him.

River: OMG!  Zelda where is your body!

Zelda: I’ve reached nirvana and therefore have no need of a body any longer.

Once Wilde got her back to his hot tub it was playtime.

Wilde: Wanna wrestle?

River: Oh, I will be all over you!

Wilde: I hope so…

Next it was time to pay Tori (Kimura) Frio a visit.  Tori has been having a problem with finding her way home.  Smart Sim that she is, she’s been leaving a trail of babies to follow so she never gets lost.

In no time Tori had Wilde Wilde had Tori in the bedroom.

Tori: Are you ready to be dominated?

Wilde: Please be gentle…

And Emma hatch gave Wilde another girl.

Then it was off to the theater to meet up with Holly (Alto) Langerak.

Holly: Shall we play a game of the quill and the well again?

Monika Morris had another child.  She’s probable still walking like she’s about to give birth though.

The Wilde met Emma Hatch and Ayesha Ansari at the theater.  Emma tried to convince Wilde to take Brenda.  But you know Wilde stallions need to run free and all…
Emma: I’m done raising kids.  I have, like, k15 or somethin’ at home.  You can have this one.

Wilde: Look, a Wilde stallion can not be tamed.  I need to feel the wind in my hair.  I need to fly…wait…  No.

Ayesha: Stupid woman, shut up and get in the theater!

Speaking of the Hatch children.  As I was looking through the Family Tree I noticed this little gem:

I guess Glenn Hatch isn’t the brightest crayon in the box.  Must be hard to be the only teenager in Elementary School.

On his way over to Monika Morris’ house Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto gave Wilde another girl.

Monika is becoming more broken.  Wilde only has the option to woohoo with her, no try for baby options.  Could it be that she ran out of eggs?  Whatever is going on if she can’t give up another child she doesn’t get anymore of Wilde’s attention. Instead Wilde made his way to Blair’s house.

Their daughter Becky doesn’t look happy to be stuck watching the kids.

Yusun had another child:

And then all at once a bunch of Wilde’s children grew into Young Adults (alphabetical order) :

Bobbie McIrish, for some reason she reminds me of Claire Robinson from The Food Network.

Celia Landgraab

Edmond McIrish

Garland Mae

Manu Landgraab

Sandra Jolina

And that’s it for Week Six.  During this week there were 32 children born bringing the grand total to: 188.  Also, Wilde is now 0 days from becoming and elder.  This one was a little harder t write and take pictures of due to lag.  Sorry if the story isn’t as good this week.   I’ll delete my cache files and hopefully have great results.

Here is a look at the current family tree:

12:02 am Sunday morning: Lisa (Bunch) McGraw is on her way out the door and Wilde is calling Zelda Mae over for some fun.

Zelda came right over.  That’s not the football hold!

Zelda: I am so tired…why does my arm feel heavy?

After Wilde was finished with Zelda and a little time on the treadmill he drove over to Bebe Hart’s apartment.

Bebe: So…the bedroom?

Wilde: Yeah, that sounds good.

They thought they left the children to their own devices in the living room.

Brook: But Mom I’m hungry and you promised I could have ice cream with Elias!

Elias: Nomnomnom

Bebe: *entering bedroom* Shut up, mommy needs 15 mminutes.

Wilde: Uhh, three minutes.

But unfortunately Mandy Hart followed them, making her the seventh child Wilde has scarred for life!

And then at 10:00 am Ayesha Ansari gave Wilde twins.

When they were finished Wilde grabbed his phone and called Sandi French.

Wilde: …yeah, can you meet me at my place?

Bebe: O-M-G!  Are you call another woman?

Wilde: Nah, it’s the repairman.

Bebe: O-M-G!  I totally thought you were calling another girl!

Wilde: You don’t say.

Bebe: O-M-G!  Mom was totally right when she said my face would get stuck like this!

I tried four times, but I never heard a lullaby.  My children were being loud at the time though so we will see if she is with child.

When Wilde got home he and Sandi had a great time in the bedroom.

Wilde: Ahhhh, was it good for you?

Sandi: Errr….yeah….

And at 1:19 pm Kaylynn (Langerak) Landgraab gave Wilde another set of twins.

Wilde made his way over to the freshly unpregnant Ayesha Ansari’s house and knocked her up again.  Really these women just can’t tell Wilde no.

Wilde got dressed and without showering ran over to Kaylynn’s because literally every young adult and adult female in this town is pregnant!!!!  Before he got to her place I took a quick picture of the most populated area of the town. This was taken on Sunday at 4:17 pm.  Notice all of the blue or cyan colored icons?  Those are all of Wilde’s children.

Kaylynn and Wilde left the children crying in the other room and had a little Mommy/Daddy Time together.

One of them forgot to close the door and a little one got in.  Scarred for life total: 8.

Tyler: Momma?

After porking Kaylynn until she squealed; Wilde left for home where he met River (McIrish) Landgraab. She was very excited to be in Wilde’s company.

River: Oh, I hope I get pregnant again!  I just love having your children and raising them all on my own!!!

Wilde: Ain’t no thang, baby.  Let’s go to the bedroom.

After the long day Wilde had River was harder to please than expected.  She exhausted Wilde and he clearly needed to shower.

Wilde: Zzzzz…

River: Zzzzz…

Then Wilde’s Childbirth Sense tingled.  He quickly got up and moodlet managed his way to a happy place and ran out the door like a super hero.  Watch out women of Sunset Valley here comes…IMPREGNATOR MAN!  He’s cumming to save the day!  He needs a cape that can double as a blanket.

Wilde: River, I must go.  Simwhere, simone has had a child…

River: Zzzz…

But before he could get to the Wolff residence Wilde stopped by the theater for a quickie with Bella.

Wilde: Right this way, Bella, it will only take but a moment.

After leaving Bella at the theater to clean up.  Wilde made his way to the Wolff House.  Where he had a bit of woo practice before ringing the doorbell.

Maybe Morganna makes him nervous.  He was clearly alone when this picture was taken.

Wilde finally pulled it together and got on with the show.  Looks like Morgana is trying to start a new fashion movement: Sweats and Heals.

Morgana: Awww, I love our children.

Wilde: Let’s go inside where there aren’t any.

They went into the master bedroom where lo and behold Morgana’s husband was sleeping.

Wilde: WHAT!  I thought you said he wasn’t home.

Morgana: He wasn’t until just a few moments ago.

Wilde: *thinking* I guess I shouldn’t have stopped for that quickie on the way over.

So, Wilde, ready to handle any situation, zapped Thorton with the moodlet manager.

Wilde: Now we can get down to business.

But before any “business” could happen Morgana jumped out of the bed and told Wilde it was late and he should go.  Arrrrrgh!

So Wilde zoomed off to the cemetery where Holly Alto was hanging out.  (By this time it was about 5:00 am Monday morning.)  To get there Wilde had to drive passed Tamara Donnor-Sw0rd’s house which means…

Tamara followed Wilde to the cemetery, random children in tow.  She brought three of Emma’s Hatch’s children with her.

Holly: Who is that man over there?

Wilde: Just an admirer

Tom: *deep baritone* Wilde…  Wilde…  Hi, Wilde, remember me?

Reagan Hatch: I’m hungry, can we go now?

Tom *deep baritone* Silence spawn! Is he looking over here?  Tell me if he looks.

Wilde and Holly decided to take things to a more private location: his home.  Tamara also decided it was time to leave.  Her stalker way are completely obvious to everyone!  She was in such a hurry that she apparently left the Hatch children behind.  Reminder to all: Never let Tamara Donnor babysit your children.

Holly: I think you should think about getting yourself a restraining order.

Wilde: Why?  Is her elder birthday coming?

Once Holly and Wilde were back at his place she asked Wilde the dreaded question:

Holly: Do you have protection?

Wilde: *died a little inside*

Wilde scrambled to think of a way out of using protection.  How was he going to knock her up now?  What do they need protection for?  She already had three of his kids!  They spent a little time in the hot tub, but it broke before they could get anywhere.

Wilde: Argh!  I can’t believe this!

I sent them to the bedroom, but for some reason Wilde would not get into the bed with her.  The man just does not want to use a condom!

Meanwhile, at 9:15 Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor gave Wilde another son:

I also decided that since school was in I should grab a shot of what it looks like in the town view.  I don’t know how many there are, I can’t count that high…

I decided it was time to send Wilde and Holly off to the theater.  Maybe I would get lucky and there would be a few other non-pregnant women hanging around there.

The cinema worked, like it always does.  And as an added bonus Wilde only pretended to use protection.  Holly left the cinema with a bun in the oven.  While he was out he decided to invite some other ladies to join him.  Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor, Agnes Crumplebottom-Steel and Bebe Hart all said yes.  Morgana was apparently in the dog house with her husband because she said she couldn’t make it.  Agnes ended up standing Wilde up, River (McIrish) Landgraab took her place.

River: Hi Madison, hi Wilde, hi Bebe.

Wilde: I don’t know why your brought your kid here, Madison.  Keep him quiet.

Jamie (Jolia) Bachelor had another son:

And I guess we know why Agnes stood up The Wilde Stallion:

Then it was off to Anges Crumplebottom-Steel’s house where drama ensued!  Agnes and Wilde were in the middle of this when Christopher came home.

Needless to say this is how Christopher felt about the whole thing.

And while Christopher watched Wilde asked Agnes if he could stay over and then asked her to break up with her husband.  She readily agreed to everything, she was putty in Wilde’s manipulative hands.

Just before closing the deal at 11:43 pm Monika Morris gave Wilde a set of twin girls:

Wilde asked Agnes to be his girl.

Wilde: Now that you’re single will you be my girl?

Agnes: Yes, yes, of course!  Anything for you Wilde?

Then Agnes and Wilde when upstairs to seal the deal.

Christopher: *grumbles*

Wilde: Yes, this is exactly what you think it is.

And while Agnes and Wilde were getting in on Christopher had to hear every. single. sound.

Agnes: Okay, I’ll be the milkmaid and you’ll be…

Christopher: Is this really happening?

Poor Christopher I kind of feel bad for him.

Then Wilde got out of the bed and decided to confide in Agnes.

Wilde: I think we need to cool this off a little.  You just got out of a relationship.

Agnes: But I left Christopher for you!

Wilde: How do I know you’re not rebounding.  I don’t want to wake up one day and find that you’re not happy.  I’m doing this for you, Agnes, don’t you want be happy?

Agnes: Oh, yes.  You’re right.  Let’s give it few days.

Christopher: Agnes you are SO STUPID!!!

Feeling good about breaking up another home, Wilde left.  Or tried to…

Tuesday Wilde invited the loud and excitable Jamie (Jolina) Bunch over.

Wilde: Let’s do this, I need to be somewhere.

That’s right, Wilde’s CESP tingled.

Jamie was all too willing to jump right into bed.

Jamie: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!  I JUST HAD A BABY AND YET HERE I AM!  TAMARA DONNOR-SW0RD AND I WERE GOING TO GO SHOPPING, BUT I TOLD HER I HAD SOMETHING BETTER TO DO…

Wilde: *thinking* Oh please make her shut up.

While they were doing the wild thing another baby was born:

And before Jamie could open her mouth Wilde was out the door and on his way to Bebe Hart’s place.  Where he and Bebe made it in the elevator.  (Sorry for the bad pic my four year-old was on my lap.)  Notice the baby on the floor, these women will drop anything to be at Wilde’s beck and call.

Bebe: *giggling* Come here often?

Wilde: *missing the point* About every three to four days.

Then I caught this happening over by City Hall.  That is Christopher Steel trying to mack on Monica Morris.

Deciding that I needed to make Christopher’s life worthless I sent Wilde over to interrupt. Monika could do with another donation and Christopher hasn’t been driven close enough to the edge just yet.  Before Wilde could get there (damn that strut) Christopher changed for work and dashed off to the diner. Oh well, Monika still followed Wilde into City Hall like an obedient puppy.

While all of that was going on more children were born:

Then who should Wilde see on his way out of City Hall, but Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto!  Needless to say they busied themselves in the men’s room.

Tammie:  WAAAAA!

Wilde: Let’s take this inside where it’s quiet and smells of toilet cleaner.

And then when Wilde and Blair were done River (McIrish) Landgraab was waiting outside.  Blair and River bumped fists and Wilde and River went inside together.  That’s what I call a tag team!

Derrick Jolina, Wilde’s eldest child became a young adult.

His traits are: Neurotic, Party Animal, Perfectionist, Green Thumb and Artistic.  If anyone is interested I can put him up for download.

Then Wilde and Pauline Wan had some QT together and another child was born:

Looks like Darlene Bunch aka Pumba is dating Derrick Jolina now.  Like that is going to stop Wilde in anyway.

Derrick: I know you and my dad have this thing, but I don’t mind sloppy seconds.

Pumba: Oh Derrick, I would love to be your one and only!  And you can be my one and only once I reach elder!  I’m so glad you don’t mind helping me raise your siblings!

And at 11:44 pm Tuesday, Agnes became an elder an useless.  Good thing Wilde broke that off when he did.

Like she can stop working anytime soon, she has seven children, six of which Wilde fathered!

I sent Wilde over Emma Hatch’s place, she was due for another pregnancy.  While there as a bonus Wilde also broke up her relationship with Mortimer Goth!  *sigh*  The men of the town are really starting to hate Wilde.

Mortimer: *looking at Tamara*  There’s something funny about that lady…

Wilde: Whadya say we sneak off to the bedroom and mess up the bed?

Emma: Oh yes, yes please…

Mortimer: EMMA HATCH YOU HUSSY!!!!

And then as I was focused on getting Wilde to the bed I completely missed Mortimer slapping Emma!  GAAAAH!

Look at that, you know Mortimer is fighting the urge to look over to see Emma and Wilde together.

Satisfied that Wilde ended yet another almost happy relationship I sent him home to the treadmill.

While he was working out another baby was born.

7:00 am Wednesday morning I sent Wilde over to the McGraw house and had his way with Stiles’ wife, Lisa.

Bed: *banging and squeaking*

Baby: WAAAAAAAAA!

Stiles: Daggon kids, makin’ so much racket they woke the baby.  DON’ MAKE ME GIT MAH BELT!!!

From there Wilde drove over to Justine Keaton’s place.  During the drive Sandi gave birth to twin girls:

As an added bonus when Wilde arrived at the Keaton house her husband was still home.

Marty: I just don’t know how we keep having children, Justine.  I thought we were being careful.

Unfortunately, as soon as Wilde got there Marty changed for work and left.

Marty: Okay, I’m off to work.  Wilde oyu can help Justine with the children?

Wilde: Yeah, I can help Justine get with child with the children.

As soon as Marty left Justine and Wilde disappeared to the bedroom leaving the children to sit in their filthy diapers.

Reisa: Change me, I’m stinky!

Johanna: Uhhh, I need a bath.  I had a blowout!

Reisa: Someone wipe my butt!

Johanna: I’m starting to get a rash!

But Wilde and Justine were far to involved to care.

While they were procreating two more children were given life:

By the time Wilde and Justine were finished Marty was home.  Wilde dressed quickly and snuck out the back.

Wilde: Pfft…  Superman needs a telephone booth, not I, IMPREGNATOR MAN!

Judy Bunch died and Darlene wasn’t taking it so well.  So Wilde being the nice guy that he is invited Darlene to meet him at the theater.

Pumba: *a lot of snorting* Bububububu snnnnnNNNNNOOOORRRTTTT!

Wilde: Come Pumba, I will help you forget your mother’s demise.

And Darlene and Wilde went into the theater.  I was called away from the computer because my nearly two year old daughter spilled an entire bag of pretzels on the floor.  I forgot to pause the game, when I came back Wilde and Darlene were finished with the tour.  Grrr…

I saw that there was a pop up about Yusun Ursine becoming a young adult.  Finally!  So I had Wilde leave Darlene crying in front of the theater and drive over to the Ursine house.

Yusun was apparently expecting Wilde. She was dressed in her formal and had her hair and makeup done.  And the best part…she was home alone!

Yusun: Wilde, I have been waiting for you.

Wilde: Not as long as I have been waiting for you, Yusun.

Yusun: Follow me.

Wilde: *thinking* That was easy.

But it wasn’t, she only led him to the living room.  Wilde tried cracking jokes, but they didn’t go over very well.  Yusun wants to be woo’d.

Wilde: How about you let me dust those cobwebs for you.

Then her mother came home and they had to sneak out the back door.  Looks like Wilde is bringing this party home.

Yusun: Shhh…  She still thinks I’m a teenager.

Back at Wilde’s place things really started to heat up.

Yusun: Something about being in your house makes me feel like I should remove my clothes.

Wilde: Do what feels right. If it feels right to be naked, then be naked.

Wilde and Yusun made their way to the hot tub.  That’s where Wilde made his move.

Then somehow they were in the hot tub.

And soon Yusun was in over her head.

The next morning Yusun learned a very valuable lesson.  A lesson about wild stallions.

Yusun: Are you kidding me?

Wilde: Look, I’ve got somewhere to be.  You can show yourself out.

During the night he spent with Yusun, Bella gave birth to a baby girl:

Once Yusun got the boot Wilde made his way over to the Donnor-Sw0rd residence.

Tom: *raspy whisper* Kiss me, Wilde.

Wilde: *wipes away silent tears*

Cyclone came home to find his wife in bed with his friend.

Cyclone: Not cool, guys.  Not cool.

During Wilde and Tamara’s sexcapades Holly Alto gave birth to TRIPLETS!  I forgot to get a screenshot.

Then Wilde ran over to Bella Bachelor’s house.  but before they could get busy, I had to edit Bella in CAS.  Something about The Sims 3 version of Bella — I hate her.  So after a quick makeover Bella was ready to get it on!

*sigh* she looks much better now.

Another child was born:

Wilde had to truck it over to Justine Keaton’s house. One of his children was having a birthday.  And as luck would have it Morgana was there too!!!  Thinking they were alone in the hall Wilde suggested they sneak off to the bedroom for a little Woohoo.

Beau Andrews: WOMAN!  What is wrong with you!

Beau’s Hand: *smack, crack, slap*

Morgana: * whimpering* Must. Join. Wilde.

And as soon as Beau was finished slapping her she did join Wilde in the bedroom.  After they were finished.  Wilde and Morgana were kick out for being inappropriate.

The next morning (Friday) Wilde seduced Madison (VanWatson) Bachelor and Jamie (Jolina) Bunch gave birth to a girl.

Here’s a view of the chaos at Madison’s house.

On Wilde’s way over to Jamie (Jolina) Bunch’s house a set of twins was born to Bebe Hart:

Outside Jamie’s house was her newest daughter, sunbathing by the mailbox.  And as Wilde waited for Jamie to come to the door I could hear screaming.

Once Wilde was inside…

Manu had picked up Sadie from the cold sidewalk and brought her into the bathroom.  Thankfully he didn’t pee in her.

Manu: Keep it together, Manu.  The toilet is RIGHT THERE!

Jamie: Where it that daughter of mine?  She needs to take care of these kids!

Wilde and Jamie went into the bedroom to take care of some business.  Felipe Bunch followed them into the bedroom.  Bringing the total of children scarred for life to nine.

Wilde was on his way to a party at Pauline Wan’s place when River (McIrish) Langraab gave him twins and Blair Wainwright-Sekemoto had a boy:

Wilde arrived at the party and Pauline was in labor!

Instead of being a good guy and taking Pauline to the hospital, Wilde seduced Bebe Hart.

Widle: Oh, hey, Pauline.  We’ll just be a minute.

And since Pauline had given birth during the party, Wilde decided to hit that before leaving too.

Wilde: It’s probably a good idea to wash these sheets today.

Before Wilde went home Emma Hatch gave him another daughter:

And his son Brendon Wan experimented with pooping in the upright position.  He made a mess of the toilet.

Brendon: I can pee standing, I should be able to poop standing too.

Toilet: Oh no.  No.  NOOOOOOOOO!

Saturday morning Wilde spent some time in Ayesha Ansari’s bed.

And at 10:49 am another baby was born:

And when Wilde went to Tori (Kimura) Frio’s house, what I saw shocked me.  What is wrong with this picture?

No, no.  Have a good look.  Do you see it?

EXACTLY!!!  There are no criers!  The kids here are HAPPY!  No screaming about being tired or hungry or having dirty diapers.  Tori, it seems is June Cleaver!  In the kitchen she even had breakfast started!!!  Shocking, simply shocking!

After a workout in the bedroom Wilde switched the TV to the Kids Channel before leaving.

He spent the rest of his day soliciting services at the theater.  He met a number of women there including this woman who just happened to get jumbled up into the mix.  She didn’t mind though, look at how happy she is.

Three more children were born before the end of Week Five:

At the end of Week Five 41 children were born bringing the total to 157 children.  And I forgot to mention Zelda Mae turned elder and married Gunther Goth.

There are so many children now that they have started causing pathing issues.  Not to mention that they could be sleeping the the only double bed on the lot.  It’s getting harder to keep the women knocked up.