Diagram of a human cell (the mitochondria are the caterpillar-like shapes)
So I survived sepsis – YAY- and I’ve been spending the last 2.5 months recovering from being so ill. At first, I was doing great, digging holes in the garden and transplanting shrubs 6 weeks post-discharge from the hospital. Then we went traveling at Christmas, a manageable trip until our return flight was delayed. We didn’t get home until 2:AM. The stress and fatigue from that one day set me back near GO. That means low energy, sleeping a good part of the day, brain fog, and generally feeling depressed about the entire situation. After 2 weeks, I’m coming out of my so-called “Sepsis Flare.”
I had read from plenty of sources online that it often takes 6 months to a year to make a full recovery from sepsis, and sometimes post -sepsis can go the way of long Covid. But why? What is going on in the body that causes it to malfunction after the infection has left the body? My retired science teacher brain was begging to know.
I turned to ChatGPT for a deep dive, and I did find answers. It’s complicated. It gets down to the physiology of cells and a stressed immune system. By the way…what exactly is an immune system and how does it work? (See video below)
I love this day. On January 1, New Year’s Day, I feel a shift towards brightness. Time to put away the clutter of the holidays, hang the new calendar, and think about the future…
Charlie Harper
365 Squares
It is New Year’s Day
I am the same person I was yesterday
But today I welcome a new calendar
& put away the last year’s full of scribbled
commitments, birthdays, and events.
What intentions can I put forth, and what questions
Today is the shortest day of the year and the longest night in the Northern Hemisphere. It is the day when our part of the earth is the farthest away from the sun in its orbit. Tomorrow, the planet will make its turn back towards the light. While our modern calendar denotes it as the first day of winter, there are those of us from the time of the ancients who mark it as a time of hope and new beginnings as the light returns each day, bit by bit.
I have been contemplating the concept of dark and light, how the juxtaposition of the two enhances the other. Two nights ago, we walked by a particularly stunning display of Christmas lights adorning the local cultural center. Sparkles of colors danced in all the surrounding trees and bushes, creating a sense of wonder not possible without the darkness of night.
In nature, the dark winter gives plants and animals a time of rest. We as humans need rest, too. Contrary to the madness of consumption and perfection that our culture dishes up this time of year, we need to slow down, rather than speed up to recharge for the coming year.
The winter solstice allows for contemplation as the earth pauses at the apex of its annual journey. Tonight, I will gather with dear friends by candlelight and firelight. We will share poetry and stories, and what we welcome in the coming light and what we shall leave behind in the darkness.
It has been a particularly challenging year for me. But I know the light is returning. I will welcome back better health, more music, and more writing! See you all back on the blog in 2026.
Happy Holidays
Alanna
On the winter Solstice The earth pauses Do you hear the angels whisper? And the moon sigh? Be at peace In the darkness we make our own light The bonfire burns bright The candle flickers
On the winter Solstice The earth pauses Do you hear the angels whisper? And the moon sigh? Be at peace In the darkness we make our own light The bonfire burns bright The candle flickers
Note- The following is a true account of what happened to me on Oct. 18, 2025. The writers I admire the most show their vulnerabilities. We learn from them. That is my hope in my story.
I stood on the border of life and death, but never made that crossing. I felt comfortable and secure in a cozy, dark womb with a sensation of being in a bubble floating towards the sky. The freedom was profound. Then I was jolted back to reality. A good Samaritan stopped on a little-traveled rural road on a Saturday evening, found me slumped over my steering wheel, and pulled me back to the land of the living. A woman in a law enforcement uniform was asking me questions I couldn’t answer. Headlights shone on my face. Nothing made sense. Where was I? An ambulance arrived. I was lifted out of my car, loaded on a gurney, and taken to the local hospital.
I was on my way to have dinner with friends, one of whom was visiting from Nashville. After two weeks of not feeling well, I thought I could handle a half-hour visit. I had been sick with bronchitis and felt I was starting to relapse. Chills were taking over my body. I was anxious. “What is the matter with me? Why can’t I get better?” I asked my husband as I tried to warm myself in a hot bath. He reassured me. and that he would see me later in the evening when he returned from his band performance.
On the way there, a six-minute drive from my house I had made countless times I became disoriented and confused. I had gone in a circle. I turned around and headed back up the hill. Instead, I was found a mile past her house, unconscious, my car in a ditch.
Stroke and head injury were ruled out. Then the blood work came back. I was diagnosed with sepsis from an undiagnosed UTI—an infection on the heels of another infection. I had never had a UTI before, and I did not have classic symptoms. My doctor explained to me that women over 65 often present with only confusion & fever. I spent two days in the hospital being pumped full of IV antibiotics. At discharge, I was sent home with a 10-day course of oral antibiotics. I was as limp as a wet rag, my body exhausted from the toll of inflammation and infection throughout my body.
Recovery from sepsis can be a long process, from weeks to months. With sepsis, the clock ticks rapidly towards death. I was on my way. Despite being unconscious for over 30 minutes, I had no organ failure or amputations. I am accelerating the healing process with daily qigong, supplements, and liberal rest. Almost 4 weeks after hospitalization, I am walking a mile daily. My qigong healing routines have impressively expedited my recovery. And my car is fine except for a big scratch on the side from a branch!
Life 2.0. I am grateful to be given another chance at life. Here’s what I need to tell you about near death- it’s total release. I was at peace in some womb-like place, floating away in a bubble. My body let go, my mind let go. There was no more discomfort. What is odd is that the anxieties that have plagued me since childhood are now absent. Friends tell me that after having cataract surgery, their vision is brighter, more colorful, and in sharper focus. That is also with my life and priorities after this experience.
I would not prescribe this trauma to anyone, but I am a better person for it. There are safer paths towards enlightenment. May I not reach that border crossing again for many more years, but when I do, I will not feel afraid.
P.S. And now for my public service announcement!
Sepsis is the third leading cause of death in the US.
Sepsis can occur after ANY type of injury, infection, childbirth, or surgery. Symptoms are unusual redness at the site of injury, fever, confusion, chills, and unresponsiveness. When in doubt, seek emergency care.
Sepsis starts with an infection in any part of the body and spreads through the blood. When this happens, your immune system launches a severe inflammatory response that can affect every system in your body.
Untreated sepsis can progress to septic shock, a potentially fatal complication that causes low blood pressure and multi-organ failure. Sepsis can develop quickly from initial infection to septic shock and even death in as little as 12 hours.
Older adults are particularly vulnerable to sepsis due to several factors:
Adults aged 65 and above face a risk of hospitalization due to sepsis that is 13 times higher compared to individuals under 65.
Every infection that older adults contract raises the likelihood of developing sepsis.
The immune response is weaker in older individuals, making it harder for them to fight off infections and increasing the risk of systemic infection.
Chronic comorbidities such as diabetes mellitus, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), chronic renal disease, and cancer heighten the susceptibility of elderly individuals to infections and sepsis.
Additionally, seniors are at increased risk for hospital-acquired infections (HAIs) due to factors related to hospitalization, invasive procedures, and other underlying health conditions.
Common Infection Triggers
Understanding the common sources of infections that can lead to sepsis is crucial for monitoring seniors’ health. The following are typical infection triggers:
Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs): One of the most prevalent types of infections in elderly individuals, often leading to sepsis if not treated promptly.
Pneumonia: Respiratory infections can escalate rapidly into sepsis, especially in seniors.
Skin Infections: These can arise from pressure sores or other skin injuries, especially in bedridden patients.
Gastrointestinal Infections: Infections originating from the gut can also cause sepsis, particularly in those with existing health issues.
Invasive Procedures: Surgeries or the use of catheters and IV lines can introduce bacteria into the bloodstream, leading to infection.
I returned early October from a two-week trip to Croatia and Slovenia, two lovely countries that are often overlooked on the traveler’s bucket list. I am not a travel blogger, but I will show you pictures of these lovely, historic countries and give you some highlights. (I’m not the best at recording details and names).
Both countries were part of the former Yugoslavia and declared independence in the early 1990s after the communist dictator, Tito, died. Both provide universal healthcare AND free higher education to their citizens. I’m always impressed by these small countries that care about their people. Croatia is most known for its spectacular coastline, and Slovenia, just south of the Julian Alps, for its gorgeous natural areas.
Before our privately organized tour, Jean, my travel buddy, and I joined a guided excursion to Krka National Park. There was a multitude of waterfalls there, and a torrential rainstorm that made our small group bond very quickly
As a girl, I always loved going off to summer camp. It was a rare treat to escape from my older brother and family life in general to a woodsy existence full of fun activities and girls my age. I especially enjoyed the crafts and singing a myriad of camp songs morning, noon, and night.
The camp experience has remained relevant to me as an older adult. Being able to escape from the obligations of daily life and have a creative focus with like-minded people is precious. Thus, when we found out from our former songwriting instructor, Linda McRae, about the Smithers Adult Guitar Camp up in Smithers, BC, Canada, the Ribbon Ridge Girls jumped at the chance. The Ribbon Ridge Girls consists of me and Kelsey, my friend and neighbor. We have been playing and singing together since the pandemic. This would be an opportunity to amp up our guitar skills in a friendly environment with a side of Canadian adventure
We flew into Smithers, pop. approx. 5400 in NW BC, a lovely town nestled in the Bulkley Valley, an agricultural area. It has a ski hill nearby and numerous options for mountain bikers, kayakers, and similar activities. There is also a healthy population of musicians and artists. It was a breath of fresh air to be out of the US, escaping the country’s political drama and leaving it at the border.
We were picked up in town the next day to Camp Caledonia on Tyhee Lake, the venue of the guitar camp, where we made ourselves at home in one of the cabins with 3 other women (and now good buddies). Since we flew in, various other campers and staff gathered bedding for us. The majority of participants camped in trailers & RVS.
Cabin 4 ladieskelsey and I performing
Among the 40 or so participants, about 75% were local-ish, and most of the others were from the Vancouver or Victoria area. The mean age was around 55. Kelsey and I were the international contingent. We immediately felt welcomed. Then we stopped apologizing for the US when told it was not necessary. We were family.
From there, we lived, ate, and thought about music. Classes were offered in guitar technique, performance, songwriting, and ukulele. Levels were from beginner to advanced. In the evening, we had entertainment from staff and students, topped off with a campfire before bed.
Goldrush night
If ever there was a place to try one’s hand at performing, this was it. Encouragement was slathered on those taking that risk. I stretched myself a little and played an improvisational lick with my fretboard class in the student showcase. Ben, my instructor, said to us that we had about a 50% chance of getting it right—good enough odds for me.
I don’t know if I have ever been around a group of adults having this much fun. The laughter and camaraderie were so energizing, but that’s what playing music does- it brings people together. After 5 days of total immersion, we are looking forward to heading back to guitar camp for another round next August to reconnect with our new friends in music.
A year ago, climbing up the stairs of my old farmhouse was a trip back in time. Vintage linoleum from the 1940s lined the flooring in one room, the man cave. The walls sported dark varnished plywood. Across the landing, my art studio, Treetop Studio, so named for its view of the magnolia treetop outside its window, had threadbare carpet with holes in it, dingy walls that sorely needed a paint job, and a hodgepodge of contents. The stairs leading up were painted brown wood. This place was hardly inspirational.
For over 30 years, I ignored this monster upstairs. Out of sight, out of mind was part of it. This was a fixer house. For years, the priority was getting it warm, comfortable, and redoing the rooms we lived in downstairs. When I finally paid attention to the upstairs, my husband of 14 years, left suddenly for a younger model. My priorities suddenly shifted to single parenting my then 11-year-old son and figuring out how to pay the bills. Grad school and teaching middle school soon followed. For 6 years, the paint cans and masking tape remained upstairs in the place where I left them from my original attempt. I was in survival mode.
Now, solidly in retirement, it was time to tackle the beast. My spousal equivalent of 25 years, and I took to the task last fall. We sorted years of accumulation from each room, then piled it all in one room while we painted, and then repeated the process in the other room. New wall-to-wall carpet was laid in two phases as we completed each room. Then we moved back into our respective spaces.
Every now and again, I stumble upon a writer who changes me for the better. Andrea Gibson was one of them. If you don’t know about her, track her work down. Andrea Gibson was nonbinary. Andrea, a lightning rod for truth, compassion, beauty, gender freedom, and love, died on Monday in Longmont, Colorado. They were the current poet laureate of Colorado.
I discovered Andrea’s blog, “Things that Don’t Suck,” on Substack about a year ago, not long enough. This exceptional writer, poet & human being chose to share their 4-year journey with life ovarian cancer and by so doing, taught the rest of us how to live. Her writing pierces my soul like arrows.
In reading and listening to Andrea’s work, I realize how much power poetry can hold. They have inspired me to pick up my pen again on a more serious basis. Writing matters, even if it’s for one’s own eyes. Thank you, Andrea, for being such a light.
“Whenever I leave this world, whether it’s sixty years from now, I wouldn’t want anyone to say I lost some battle. I’ll be a winner that day.” – Andrea Gibson
By Alanna Pass 