I must say I’m proud of myself for writing another post in less than a year from the last one!! Yay! Maybe this is my new thing.

When I wrote last week I was catching up on the past year. I really don’t want to be gone that long again. This is almost like my therapy…speaking of therapy….when my dad passed away I mentioned that I wasn’t really dealing with it, so I decided to see a therapist. I walked in and cried for an hour. I felt 90% better after one session. I continued to go for maybe 2 months until I tried to break up with her last week. I lied about why I wasn’t able to make it anymore, and she basically told me my issues are so deep I can’t quit. WHAT? I’m a pushover so I did schedule two more sessions but at a time I’m not able to make so I will have to cancel. While I am all for therapy, I don’t know she is the right therapist for me. I really think what I deal with is normal…things everyone who feels overwhelmed because they have a family, a full time job, friends, relationships, kids, whatever….I mean it is life. My dad dying threw me for a loop and I needed to get some things off my chest and needed my feelings validated (not that my husband/friends/family didn’t do that for me), but I am not an emotional person so I really didn’t talk about his death or how I was feeling until I walked into that first therapy session. I mean, crap, I cried for 30 seconds AT his funeral. So, for now I’m going to use the tools she taught me to cope with life, and see how it goes.

I had re-started weight watchers last time I wrote, well not even a week in and I failed, but I have been working out, so there is that. We ran a race today (3.5ish miles) that raised money for Ben Was Here, an organization that raises money for the community following the death of a young boy, who happened to be a twin, from asthma. The family lives in town here and I went to college with the mom. It was a gorgeous day for a run, and just look at this view. 

Not too shabby. Props to my husband who came in 10th in his age group AND he pushed the kids in the stroller the entire way while I complained every second!

Yesterday we went to NYC for the day, without the kids. My husband is a fan of Maynard James Keenan (lead singer of Tool, Puscifer, A Perfect Circle) and wine maker. My husband makes wine and MJK was giving a wine seminar to an intimate group of 20 people. We got tickets along with two friends and decided to make a date day out of it. We drove into the city in the late morning, walked around a bit, went to the seminar where we were able to taste 6 wines (YES!!!) and then walked about a mile or so and had an early dinner at Eataly. We ate on the roof deck on the 14th floor. The food was amazing. The cocktails were great. It was so wonderful to just spend the day with my husband and not worry about anything. We forgot we had kids for a bit and brought it back to us. Fantastic! Here are some pictures of our food. OMG I want to go back now.

Friday, (I’m clearly working backwards here), we had the kids 2 year well visit. They are usually really well behaved at the doctor and we don’t typically have many problems. Well, this time, my daughter decided the doctors office was a scary place and the second they called our name she started screaming and didn’t stop until we got HOME and she had her milk. My lord, I didn’t pack snacks, milk, nothing…because I’ve never had to! Well next time we will roll in with a cooler and overnight bag so we are prepared. Come to find out, she has an ear infection, but still, she was fine seconds before.  We also had it confirmed that she has been having night terrors. Have any of you dealt with that before? Sweet Jesus it is scary shit. They say the best thing is to let them be in their crib, but when you have twins, or two kids that share a room, it poses a problem. So now, we are going to just see what happens next time she has one. It’s so hard to tell with her though. Is it something going on, teething, etc, or is it a night terror. Scary stuff and we both feel so helpless. Any tips would be great, but I don’t think there is much that can be done. Our doctor said it is a phase, and that could be related to teething. God damn 2 year molars. So yeah, other that that nonsense, we have two very healthy happy 2 year old. Gigi is 23ish lbs (she wouldn’t get on the scale so my husband had to while holding her…and then subtract his weight) and Enzo is 26 lbs. My little meatball! I think they were both around 33 inches.

I guess that is about it. This coming week I am meeting with a representative from the March of Dimes to become involved in the Signature Chefs Dinner that the MOD puts on each year. That should be fun, because i have so much time! Then we have our last music class on Saturday (Music Together) for the semester. It is a ton of fun, but puts a damper on our Saturday/weekend since it costs so much money we hate to skip it!  Sunday I am throwing my sister in law her baby shower!! So excited about that. Can’t wait to share details with you and pictures!!

Fingers crossed I come back and post soon 😉

Is there anyone out there? Does anyone still read this? I guess I’ll find out! I have been MIA for quite some time. I’d blame it on a full time job, twins, a husband, training for a half marathon, and trying to have somewhat of a life still, but there are plenty of you out there with more going on yet you still post often, and I thank you for that because I read them all!

I don’t think I’ve done a proper update for about a year, since the twins turned one. And now they are two. TWO. How and when did that happen? So, what the heck has been going on in my life over the past year? I’ll try and keep this organized, as organized as I can at least.

Sleep consulting: FAIL. My last post on here was about how I started my sleep consulting business, It’s Sleepy Time. Well, the post on here and one post on Facebook was all the marketing I did. I had good intentions of starting this new adventure, but then ended up getting offered a new job at work (my day job) and I just got really busy and my focus shifted. I have helped a number of friends, and had a lot of inquires, and did learn a lot from becoming certified, but I think I am going to quit while I’m ahead and close shop. I felt like a failure, but whatever, I’m OK with it.

Death: I’ll just get this part out of the way because it is depressing. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned in in the past, but 12 years ago my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He had one lung removed and lots of chemo and radiation. He had a few setbacks over the years, but ultimately lived a pretty good/normal life. In the fall of last year, he started having some issues with fluid around his lung where he would have to get it drained (liters of fluid) and they couldn’t figure out why it kept happening. The past 12 years were definitely a roller coaster, but the past year has been even more so. His health declined pretty quickly in December and to make a long story short, he passed away on December 20th. While it was expected, because he had lung cancer (we had just found out less than a week before he passed that it was in his liver too, but no signs), I was clearly not prepared for it. I thought that I was prepared. Every single time my phone rang with is number or my step mothers number, for the past 12 years, I was sure it was the call that he died. Morbid? Maybe, but this is I think how I attempted to prepare myself. It was right before the holidays so I focused on the kids, my husband, the holidays, all that jazz. Then reality hit. My dad was gone. I had said what I needed to him the night before he passed, but then was realizing that I had more I wish I had said when he was still here. Enter regret… There is too much family step mother/sister drama to get into here, but he still has not been buried. He was cremated and is at my step mothers house. We are still trying to figure things out, or should I say, I’m waiting to hear what she wants to do. It is a pain in the ass. I’m very passive aggressive, we don’t really have a relationship other than her coming to visit the kids once a week, but it is while I’m working, so I don’t have much interaction with her. Ok, I’ve rambled on enough. Moral of this story is that it hit me a lot harder than I expected, and it hit me a while after he died. I’m still dealing with it, still trying to figure out how to morn, but I am doing better than I was a month ago, so that is good. *sigh*

Alone time: A little over a month ago I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. The kids decided that sleep was not for them (did i mention i am a certified sleep consultant?) and we were all living on 3-4 hours of sleep per night…for almost a month. My husband and I were fighting, which we honestly never ever do, I felt like a walking zombie, I was stressed at work, I was still dealing (or not dealing) with my dads death, and I was either going to check myself into an insane asylum, or needed to get away. So, I went away for the weekend alone. It was a planned weekend away with a girlfriend, but she wasn’t able to make it last minute. Everything happens for a reason right? This weekend away was exactly what I needed. I was able to decompress, gather my thoughts, have a good cry, some good laughs (I met a couple at a bar and spent the afternoon bar hopping with them), and come home and actually feel normal-ish again! It was great, I highly recommend it.

Weight/exercise: The kids are now two and I got down to my pre pregnancy weight once. I am currently up to what I weighed when I was 5-6 months pregnant with them. I never struggled with my weight until like 12-13 years ago. I don’t know why changed…age??? I think it is when I started exercising…so dumb. I used to eat grilled cheese, french fries, and chocolate milkshakes and weighed 110 lbs. I’ve been on weight watchers about 4637816473891686543 times. Today I started back up on it again. I restart almost every week. I no longer fit into my ‘fat’ clothes. I’m embarrassed to go out in public and see people I know. I refuse to make plans with certain friends because I think they are judging me (my own issue). I have had a lot going on in the past 6 months. I ran my first (and last!) half marathon a month ago and was training for that for 4 months. I figured since i was running 20ish miles a week, I could eat 20ish donuts a day? It didn’t work out like that. Well, then after I ‘ran’ the half marathon, the donut eating continued, and the running/working out came to a screeching halt. I did just start working out again last week. It feels good. So now I’m planning to get my eating under control. I just have so many events that throw me off…like the kids birthday party, my SIL baby shower, a trip to NYC. All excuses, but I justify it somehow. I need to do this so I feel good about myself, and can teach my kids that eating healthy is a way of life, and not something you do on Wednesdays. Ugh.

TWINS!!!!: They are TWO. They are awesome. I love them to pieces. There was a week or two or three when I was ready to give them back (to who? I’m not sure) but they have redeemed themselves. The past year has been a blur, will I ever stop saying that? They are doing really well developmentally. My son has been receiving birth to three services for the past few months and has improved so so much! He had what they call a ‘severe’ expressive speech delay but was off the charts in receptive speech. Everyone says don’t compare, but let’s face it, we all do. I compare them to each other, to other kids, to your kids I read about on here, just to everyone. It isn’t good, but I think it is natural. They are the happiest kids most of the time. They are healthy. And they are SO much fun!!! Here is a picture of them from their birthday and Memorial Day this past weekend. Oh, and in case you’re wondering? No, we aren’t having more kids. These two and the dog are more than enough for me to handle!

If anyone is out there actually reading this, I will do my best to update weekly. I quit Facebook for the most part, so I do have more time on my hands now.  Maybe I’ll use this as a place to hold myself accountable for my weight loss. I do love to cook so maybe I will share recipes, or who knows what!!

I am SO excited to share that I am OPEN for business! Over the past few months I have become a certified sleep consultant and learned a LOT about opening my own business, creating a website, and learning all the ins and outs of launching this second job. Because you know, working full time, having almost 1 1/2 yr old twins, a dog and a husband leave me so much time to take on this new adventure. But I am passionate about helping other families get a good nights sleep!!! Please feel free to share with friends and family who could use my services!!

http://www.itssleepytime.com

I haven’t written in a while. Life with twin toddlers is insane but wonderful. In addition to working full time and being a single mom half the week (husband teaches at night) I have started my own sleep consultant business (ready to share soon! Just trying to link my PayPal account!) because I like zero free time. Sarcasm but I really do enjoy helping people…especially helping parents get sleep!! Anywho…this isn’t about that. It’s a quick update on what G&L have been up to!

They are 16 months old. When did that happen? They are running around like crazy. Babbling like crazy. Not talking though which of course worries me so we had Birth to Three come and do an evaluation on them…they just about laughed at us. They said they are fine, in some areas they are actually acting like 2 year olds. Talking is right around the corner. It made me feel better but still, they say don’t compare your kids to others but when some kids their age have 20 words and yours can say mama and dada but say thy to everything and everyone, it’s hard not to compare. Ugh. But they are super happy and healthy so I’m ok, for now. 

They are teething like crazy. G got all 4 molars in at the same time. That was a fun week. L is getting something in now so I’m guessing we might have some good times ahead. Luckily they *usually* just don’t like to sleep and they drool a lot. The not sleeping part isn’t so fun but they just hang out with us through all hours of the night laughing. Makes for fun work days but could be worse.

They eat just about anything. Favorites are peas, Mac n cheese, blueberries, and carrot zucchini muffins. They LOVE milk! They like to take their sippy cups and throw them across the room, like 10 times during each meal. Milk everywhere. It’s a freaking blast. They use plates and forks and spoons. They are little people. It’s awesome. 

They are in daycare 3 days a week. Home with dad one day and home with me one day. It’s a good balance! We attend music class on Saturdays and they love it. We spend as much time outside as we can. We ran our first race a couple weeks ago with them in the stroller. We are signed up for a few more before it gets too cold! 

We spent the weekend in Cape Cod-I’m typing this on my phone on our ride home so if there are typos I’m sorry…we had a blast! It’s our favorite place. We walked down to the beach and L got SO excited. Must have remembered the two weeks we were there this summer. He cried when we walked away from the water. Poor kid. We’ll be back buddy, I promise!! The four of us took a walk back down to the beach this afternoon and the kids decided to hold hands. Talk about my heart just melting. 

My husband and I haven’t spent a night away from them yet. Basically because we haven’t had the need to…but we need to. My only reservation is that I feel bad for whoever we leave them with. It is a lot of work and my mom is really the only person I trust with them and she is one person. We have to do it though. Ugh. We get out for date night at least once a month so it’s. It like we don’t get our alone time, we totally do, we just haven’t left them overnight. I think our goal will be to do it before the new year! 

Ah ok, that’s about it for now!!! Stay tuned for my sleep consultant website and please share it with any sleepless mamas or use it for yourself!! 

As I mentioned in my last post, I decided to go through training to become a sleep consultant. Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, I submitted my final last night. I think I did really well. It was a self paced training, and I had a number of things pop up over the past 5 weeks or so which got in the way of finishing it in the 3 week timeframe I had set for myself. The training was a bit harder than I had expected, but I learned a lot, and am excited to get my business started. There is a LOT more involved in starting your own business than I ever expected, or was told at first, but I am hoping it is all worth it in the end!

I’m still on the hunt for a name for my business. One thing I didn’t think of was the URL…people suggested some great names, and I came up with a few myself, but the URL was purchased already and I’m not willing to pay $3000 for a freaking URL. I had no idea people made a living off buying URL’s and then trying to screw people like me when they need said URL. Jackasses. I think I have narrowed it down, but am still open to suggestions!

So I said that some things came up over the past few weeks that have derailed my training, some good, some bad. The bad – my dad ended up in the hospital for almost 3 weeks. He was diagnosed with lung cancer over 10 years ago, had one lung removed, and has luckily been good since then, cancer wise. He has a very unhealthy lifestyle, has had a number of heart attacks and complications over the years, but was again diagnosed with lung cancer again in his one remaining lung. It is early stages, which is good, but treating his only lung is tricky. He has decided to do radiation because his dr’s are saying that the damage the radiation will do to his lung is minimal compared to what the cancer will do as it grows. Since he got out of the hospital, he has been on oxygen which he never wanted, but when you can’t breathe, oxygen is a good thing!  So, there is that which I have been dealing with. I have touched on my relationship with my dad before, it isn’t great, but it isn’t bad…it is just strange. Maybe someday I will get into it, maybe not. Any who….we also took a 2 week family vacation to the Cape! I had big plans to do some training during that trip but instead, I played with my kids, lunched with my husband, had cocktails on the patio and beach, and enjoyed every single minute of vacation! I also had a birthday in there too. Fun stuff!!

Once I get my website up, LLC created, and the million and one other things that I need to do to get this started, I will share it with you and if you need my services I will be thrilled to work with you or if you could share my info with friends and family who might need the help! It was a lifesaver for us!!

I’ve been reading all of your blogs and keeping up with you! Have a great day!

I’m trying to come up with a name for my new sleep consultant business. I want something catchy but something that also tells what the business is…and something that will come up in searches too. Any ideas?

I always say I am going to write more often, but I don’t. I feel like my life is boring. I mean, to me, it is the opposite of boring. I have twins, life with twins is never boring. They just started walking which is awesome. I don’t like when people say “now the trouble starts” because I think it is great that they are walking. Maybe they will walk in two different directions but isn’t that what it’s all about? I love seeing them grow and fall down and get back up again. They are just awesome.

I think I mentioned it before but we used a sleep consultant when the kids were probably around 6 months old. It saved our sanity. At first, I know people thought we were insane, and I’m ok with that. I tend to do some crazy things (pray for twins!) and in the end, I think things have turned out pretty good. Since we used the sleep consultant, SEVEN of my friends have used her as well, and I have shared some tips with others on how we got our kids to sleep 12 hours at night, and take a 2.5 hour nap during the day. Well, I have decided to become a certified sleep consultant myself! I am SO excited about it. I know it is going to be quite the adjustment because I will no longer be able to sit on the couch after the kids go to bed and watch my trash TV as often, and won’t have as much free time, but it will be additional income for my family, and I will be helping families all over get their sanity back!! That is priceless!

Once I am up and running I will share the details with you and hope you will share my site!

I can’t believe the summer is halfway over. I normally hate the summer, the CT heat sucks most of the time. The kids are at such a fun age now though, that taking them swimming, just playing at their water table, seeing them have so much fun, it is all worth the sweat I deal with. LOL We are taking the kids to the Cape for two long weekends next month. It should be a fun time. My inlaws will be there for a few nights the first weekend we are there and my mom is coming with us the second weekend for a few nights. I’m looking forward to it but also thinking I might need  a vacation when we get back!

Not much else going on around here though. I have kept up with all of your blogs and am excited to see there are some positive pregnancy tests happening! I still remember the day I got that call…best news ever!

Everyone always said that they grow up so fast, time flies, don’t blink. Now I get it. An entire year has gone by and both kids are alive and healthy and doing great. 

Time definitely flew by. I kept wanting Gigi and Enzo to reach their next milestone and then about 2 weeks before their birthday I just wanted time to slow down. But it definitely did not…time goes faster when you have a baby…especially 2, or so I think!

We threw a small party for them…ha ha just kidding, we had 85 people at their birthday party! I totally know that it was for me and they will not remember it other than pictures, and I’m ok with that. It was wonderful. Their birthday was May 28. We planned a Memorial Day BBQ menu at our local country club…not as fancy as it sounds, but nice. They have nice big pavilion and we planned on having the Party there overlooking the golf course, until I saw the weather was going to be 95 and HUMID. Mama doesn’t do heat or humidity so I called the place the day before to see what the chances were that the banquet hall was open…and it was!!!! So we moved the party inside. I had my baby shower there as well as the kids baptism and they are so great! 

The party was chemistry themed and we had chemistry glassware with dry ice as centerpieces and other chemistry touches around. It was pretty cool is I do say so myself!!! I have to give my husband credit though, as he is the chemist! 

The kids were great! Gigi LOVED her cupcake. Enzo wasn’t into it. They got a ton of great gifts and we took a lot of pictures! The day was unforgettable. After this year, we will have smaller family parties for them but I will always remember this bash!!

I know that I promised I would write more often, and that I would try and do a ‘day in the life’ but honestly, life has just been crazy, mostly good though, so that is fun. I’ll start with the bad, not bad bad, but my little baby boy had to have surgery this past week. This is something we have known about since he was born…it was on his private parts and it went very well, and he is doing great, back to himself within 24 hours (except it burns when he pees poor guy) but I have been home with him all week, and we’ve been sending our daughter to daycare. One baby is easy when you’re used to two!! It is also very strange because I’m used to them having each other to play with but with one I have to entertain, probably normal to most people, but strange to me. Any who…I don’t know how those of you that stay at home do it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved every.single.minute with him, but you literally don’t have a minute to yourself…I guess I think of working, even though I work from home, having time to myself. When he napped, I cleaned bottles, made bottles, made food for them, food for me, cleaned the house, showered, played with the dog, then he woke up and repeat…so I don’t know how you all do it. I tip my hat to you mamas!

Fun stuff that has been going on is the babies first birthday planning! Yup, they are almost ONE! Time sure flies when you have babies, it is insane. We invited 108 people. Don’t judge. I love a party! I’ve been putting together favors for the kids (are they even called favors for the kids?), planning the cupcakes, decorations, etc. Now, I know they will not remember this at all but you know what, I will and that is all that matters! It is on Memorial Day weekend and people might be busy but that is fine, their birthday falls on a Saturday so we are celebrating!

We are doing their first birthday photoshoot this weekend. Nothing spectacular planned for it, G is wearing a light pink tutu and a pink headband and L is wearing these cute rolled up jeans and a driving cap….and I made them both shirts that say ‘one’ on them. They will be barefoot. We are going to a park where we did a family photoshoot when they were about 5 months old and it was a big fail…mainly because we were all sick and it was cold and rainy and I wanted it to be perfect. I learned my lesson. Whatever happens at this session happens. They have so much personality now that it can’t be bad, I hope! My husband and I won’t be in the pictures so we are already ahead! Ha!! I needed to spend a few more dollars to get free shipping while ordering the stuff for the favors bag so I added a 3 foot ‘1’ balloon that I might use for the shoot…but not sure yet. There will be no smash cake, no props, just a blanket for them to crawl around on or whatever they decide to do. I’m excited!

My MIL (B) and step MIL (R) continue to drive me nuts but nothing worth writing about.

What else is going on? Today the babies were freaking out, overtired, and I didn’t know what to do so I put them in their travel highchairs in front of the TV and put our wedding video on…LOL They weren’t impressed but I cried. What a happy freaking day!!

I started Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago…I’m under my pre pregnancy weight, but not happy with myself and now that I’m done pumping there is no excuse not to work out for 30 min a day…or every other day. I did the 21 day fix (beachbody) workouts for 21 days and it was a great workout but I didn’t lose weight, probably because I was eating like shit. So, now I’m trying to work out (now that L’s surgery is behind us) and I’m eating healthy. I really want to look bangin’ for their party! Ha! Wish me luck!

I’m sitting on the couch drinking vodka (I tracked it on my WW app!) and listening to Barenaked Ladies….happy Friday…I hope you’re all well!

Have you guys tried stitch fix? I hate shopping, always have, unless it’s food shopping…but I do need new clothes from time to time and who doesn’t love getting packages delivered to their house??? Stitch fix will send you a box of 5 items for a $20 styling fee-you have a few choices. You can either decide to purchase all 5 items-your $20 styling feel is deducted PLUS you get 25% off your entire purchase, you can choose to keep an item and your styling fee will go towards it, or you can decide you like nothing and send it all back and lose your $20 fee…or not. If you dislike everything that much you can usually get a new box shipped to you free of charge. One thing I love is that you can link your Pinterest boards so the stylists really get to know your style. If you’d like to check it out, click on my referral link here https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/4460026

I have found that getting a new item of clothing makes me feel better since I’m still working on getting my pre baby body back!