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  • Sometimes I look at my nipples and thank them. They never disappoint.

    me.

    Why Do Flies Shit On The Mirrors?

    June 19th, 2020

    He was unimpressed by the perfectly made bed, hotel table arrangement or the candle lights on the commode. He did not notice my jittery satisfaction when everything was ready as a guest of honor would appreciate it in effect. That pineapple pin placed strategically on top of a pile of messy golden jewelry, presumably what I only wear, although I was wearing my silver long necklace to shape down the deep cleavage. It was like he did not see anything compelling to stop and linger. He flew slowly and strategically to the tiles of mirrors on top of my desk, my makeup table, my fixed space near the wardrobe. There, on the second tile to the right he stumbled upon and pry… 

    What’s wrong with you? I asked him bewildered by the unexpected compound we formed. 
    I dont like chocolate.  I said I already knew that so it doesn’t count. I wanted more colossal reasons to cease my anguish. 
    I’m a bad loser. I actually hate losing and am super competitive so I’m massively salty if I lose. This signaled my flaws too, but I did not admit it. I don’t have patience for incompetence. It’s hard for me to grasp someone not being able to figure something out quickly enough. Uh, I put my mouth close enough to sip some wine, but he carries on: If something is an issue or bothers me I don’t say so right away. Not because I’m burying it, but because I’m trying to take a step back and think and, or analyze what is happening. Regardless of it being for the best it can definitely be frustrating in the moment for someone. And how is that a flaw? I react impulsively. I wish I would be that considerate, but in fact I would just say what it bothers me right there. 
    Oh, on second thought, perhaps that’s why I haven’t heard from him? I need to drink that wine now to melt the sorrow buried in my stomach. What did I do wrong? At that point I was still mesmerised by his chocolaty skin. I wonder whether that could be the reason he doesn’t like chocolate? May it be he doesn’t like himself much? But since we are so much alike, could that explain why he doesn’t fancy me as I crave for? Many creatures still cannot comprehend what is happening when they see their own reflections. In a blink of an eye he was gone and all he left was this perfectly round dark spot. Right there on the second tile to the left of my mirror. 

    Mirror, mirror on the wall, why do flies shit on you of all? 

    There are around 17 quadrillion million flies on Earth. Way too many for our imagination, but whilst they are considered pest and we’d think we’d be better off without them, it turns that flies can actual pollinate plants like the cacao plants or tea tree. No flies, no chocolate. Oh and I do like chocolate. The irony, innit? 

    Emotions run deep and twisted for me at this point. I am telling myself this fly is fearless as a million years old rock. He is kind but not nice. With a light-hearted spirit that always helped him to achieve personal satisfaction, he was never interested to be liked and accepted by others. He is one genuine fly who is not afraid to look stupid and likes it to be emotionally detached, that’s how he can fly away without too much dependency. Fear is inevitable and this fly will even chase it, that’s why he can see behind his back, but if he feels like my mirror is one place to shit on, he’ll go right into it. Where in your life can you feel the fear and do it anyway? 🙂

    The damage a poor choice can result is often requiring an intervention. However, the moment and the crowd for it shall remain a surprise. Let’s improve how we identify and understand errors of judgement and choice of the places we shit on. Eventually any place can merely be just another self. The gossip, identifying faults in other peers, comes more facile than admitting the faults in our stars. Well, like Shakespeare said, ‘the fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves, for we are underlings’.
    Maybe flies shit on themselves when they see how darling they are. Or perhaps they just shit on themselves when they finally see how unsightly they look. Or maybe they found out mirrors can help them time travel so they wanna go into another life. Ha! my imagination, such a cheap courtesy to a pest kind. Who thought such an unexpected creature can be inspiring in times where people are expressing their deepest emotions so publicly?

    Wherever he may lie and shit on, I imagine this fly is laughing at all of us right now, and at life itself. He is the unconventional type that doesn’t hesitate about making decisions, because he has no fear of unknown. His fearlessness is more than power and control, too bad is only gonna last around thirty days. Now, as much as I would like my imagination to continue and say that what I am looking at right now on my mirror, it’s a black dot spawn so graciously from wisdom and self-awareness, I won’t! It’s probably something he ate on his way here. Crossing seas is never too easy. 

    I never liked flies anyway! 

    PS: if your answer to my question on why flies shit on the mirrors is because they shit everywhere, you are right!

    Flies look and feel weird, they eat disgusting things and shit every four to five minutes! They don’t own teeth, but a long tongue which spits acidic saliva on anything needed to be melted and sucked up. Some flies even like blood, some like shit, some like the food we eat and sleep when we sleep… they actually like to sleep near their food source. Ha. Just like those humans who own a small refrigerator in their bedroom. Did you know flies and humans have some genes in common? Well this is where the refrigerator in the bedroom idea.

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    me.

    A Boy’s Mind

    May 24th, 2020

    Hey girl, what’s up? Glad you like the dog photo. Fuck them boys, your dates and crushes. I am done with this dating thing as well! Like I am so tired of it… Just seeing people who do not want to settle and just wanna play around. But individually, not really together, you know? 

    I guess it’s about time and patience, right? If a guy has time for all the games he will play along and if he has the balls and courage he will tell the girl to cut the crap and tell her what he actually thinks and wants (in this case wants to settle). 

    There are other factors involved too like the emotional quotient, how emotionally present the girl is… These days no one has time for that and it’s strange ’cause when a girl or a guy needs someone it’s just about getting drunk, and then getting stressed but no one talks it out. Where is that one person you would confide to and that person who would listen to you? No wonder men have started calling their mothers (like my brother). My family has always been cool and I don’t get them involved most of times till the time I have made a final decision of getting married. 

    My brain is always fuming when I see a guy who wants to settle and makes the efforts for it  is taken as if he just wants to fuck around and not taken seriously. Now, I don’t know if the problem here is the girl’s insecurity or her past breakups! But not all guys are going to fuck around u know? It’s all about communication. I don’t know why girls and guys are both so scared to communicate and they just do things without communication. That hurts more than being honest… at least being honest will gain my respect!

    Then there are the ones who communicate in their own sweet time when the boat has already sailed! What’s the point of that? I slapped someone and 10 years later I apologize?! Well I suppose the problem is not wanting to settle, not wanting to commit thinking there is better out there even if you love this one person, problem is being scared with this person but for the world you are the most daring person. PROBLEM IS IMMATURITY! And having TIME! Because people now need space! They feel claustrophobic if they are spending a lot of time together. The guy loves it cause he loves her. The girl loves him back but she does not want to spend all the time with him?! For me that’s more of being confused in what you want and just not wanting to tell yourself that you love this person and be with them so YOU BOTH TOGETHER MAKE IT WORK! Unless u just say love cause you are used to the person and the good sex and you don’t actually see the future. Well in that case it’s absolute waste of time and that’s what it is!

    Also I am tired of the inconsistency, tired of waking up not knowing if the person you love and you spend time with will just leave or whatever… that’s the issue these days! For me love is not about oh, it is today, but gone tomorrow. I mean, yes, things happen and you can  fall out of love but not overnight. There is communication! If you love, you make things happen. That’s how it is.

    Love is building something from scratch with someone, not like falling into an idea of a person showing something today. Why do people fall in love with fantasies? Cause it’s more comfortable to live in your own mind where you can come and go, love or not love as you please. Man, I am done with that. Like I am done as fuck with that. Tired as fuck of that! No more fantasy women for me anymore. If you just wanna have fun, tease and all that, just be clear about it from the beginning, don’t mess up with my heart! So many secrets and unknowns… 

    I just need a piece of mind so I am getting away from such things. 

    And yeah, you can write about me on your blog, I am not like the guy who said ‘don’t mention me on your blog’. Fuck it, mention me, why not? 😉

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  • Sometimes I look at my nipples and thank them. They never disappoint.

    me.

    A Girl’s Mind

    May 23rd, 2020

    What are you doing right now? Are you also in a cafe’s window wearing no mask, no bra and staring at the people biking in the rain? This podium feels too good, doesn’t it? I can spot old ladies smoking like there is no tomorrow, baristas hugging before even washing their hands with that sanitizer on the counter. Young parents walking in for coffee and cake, some Chinese rich girls chit-chatting about… well boys and traveling, I imagine.

    The word cock distracts the shit out my deep thoughts right now…. What should I blog about today? ‘cock in the morning haha’ a friend replies on Instagram. And I am thinking: why would I write about it? Is it ’cause I miss it, or perhaps to just vent about the reasons I am missing it? The worst book title: How a hot girl cannot get laid. Like who would even wanna read that?! 

    – Would you like to go out with me? He asks.

    – Yes, sure. 

    – Ok, but could you please don’t write on your blog about me?

    Challenge accepted!! my little brain goes. There is nothing to write about people who are afraid of me writing about them. They are just too nice and well educated to cross the line and make me obsess with their reactions. Let me just put it out there: I only write to let it out! the anger, the disappointment, the happiness, the fucking pride I have in living some dramatic story that will probably make you smile and feel good someone is doing worse than you.. Like this cock work on the danish water bottle that serves my table as a vase. I just googled Hancock – it’s a movie, it’s an old Danish brewery brand. It has a cock symbol and it makes everyone think of dick. Cause I make it so. ha! 

    What’s your life? you ask me. Just this morning Alison sent me this ad: 

    For a new program on TV2 we are looking for a sparkling, fun and fantastic woman in the 30’s who is tired of superficial dates. You’ve reached the point where you want to find love. We will create a real and entertaining TV series where you will have a unique opportunity to find a match that fits you and your values. At the end of June 5 men matching one or more of your wishes will move back to you for a weekend from Friday to Sunday. Over the three days you get to know the five suitors better, and after a separation process that you control, hopefully end up with the perfect match! We look forward to hearing from you.

    to all my danish speaking girl friends, you can sign up at the link below:https://shortaudition.net/5-Fyre-Flytter-Ind
    – It’s SO you! (you think)
    – Right? (me rolling my eyes) 
    I am rolling my eyes cause I am tired. I am tired of you thinking I am all about fucking dating. I mean, yea, I woke up the other day and asked a friend to create a dating profile for me and get me a date. 8 hours later I was dressing up and heading to my first blind date ever. That was the most thrilling thing I did that could probably entertain you. It was fun, you should try it. If only you are as lucky as my ass to have such a cool friend as me. I mean, I didn’t even see my pictures, headlines or chat with that guy. It was a great date. Probably one of the bests, just because there was so much mystery/newness in all the sensations I got. 

    Oh, you ask me what drove me do it? You’d be surprised (or not!) but it was this message I got from another girl friend showing me the last guy I crushed is on Tinder. Oh yea, I said? fuck waiting for him. I’ll show you dating haha. Gosh, I am bored, ain’t I? few days later here I am crying on my blog that my date never texted me and I just saw the crush guy kissing another girl near my house. Auch, I know. Universe slapped me again. Many spikes hit my … whatever heart I have left for this. But I did ask for it. 😉

    I am a bit angry, I’ll admit it. I wanna react arrogant and condescending right now, but to be fully honest… I really don’t give much of a damn about any of this. All I actually care is to get a smile out of you and make you think and talk about this. Then I will be moving on to next adventures. Wink! And if i triggered in you another reaction or question, please do text me. 

    Now, before I leave this cafe, I wish you have the place where you can walk naked all day every day, where you have all the right cock in the morning, whether that is water or dick. And if you love pussy, please do me a favor and tell her! 

    ❤️  FixPink

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    me.

    0110100001100101011011000110110001101111

    March 2nd, 2020

    Hello! You are definitely a one, he said. 

    A one?  She asked.

    Yes, girls are either ones or zeros. Ones are those you would fuck and zeros are the ones you would never. 
    It’s funny how they still have this insight even after 7 years of not fucking. His birthday wishes coming always have a reminder that she is still a one. No pressure, guys! 

    One day I will be as hot as you! He told this to the girl obsessed to make him love her.

    A few years later, she meets him to see he actually kept his promise. He looks perfectly fit and is hitting on her… She is only relieved because she feels zezo sexual things for him now.

    Because it was never the looks, but how he made her feel at that time. She thought she wasn’t smart enough, he thought he was not hot enough. So now they are just acquaintances disturbing each other here and there whenever there is a trigger making them wonder what if… they hadn’t have a binary code for their hearts.

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    me.

    Closing John

    February 3rd, 2020

    Hey gorgeous, thanks for meeting me. I really need to say how sorry I am for making you go through probably a very intense exercise of imagining what has been going on with me all this time I was silent. I would like to open up to you and let you decide what you feel next about me and us as I got really frustrated with myself and you deserve to know.

    Hey, John! Good to see you. It’s been a while. Well then, let me hear it.

    If you remember, last time we met I was telling you how I’ve been going through a traumatic relationship and then a shitty breakup which I am not sure if it’s healed by now, but I can assure you I am working on it. Your courage to open up to me and express your feelings inspired me to do the same. 

    Oh boy…

    No oh boy, it’s okay. I have this voice in the back of my head keep yelling at me whenever I get distracted at work, or when I drink and the conversation gets boring, sometimes at night when I go to bed and I remember you here. Or there, in your space. I can’t get rid of the memory of your smell or laughter. It’s been under my skin for weeks and it scares the shit out of me, ‘cause I don’t want it. I did not plan for it, and I am startled by it. I need to put an end to it as I do not believe is the best for me at the moment to be with you. Not even in my head.

    Okay… still, oh boy!

    Yeah, well maybe oh girl, I am sorry, but I have to let you go as I cannot offer you what you deserve at this point in my life. You are probably the best person I could be with but it’s too painful for me to get my shit done so fast and so intense. Moreover with a new girl. That scares the shit out of me. It just does. I never thought about it, but it just makes so much more sense when I say it outloud. 

    Okay, so you are ending things your way now…

    I am just giving you what you need. Telling you what you actually want to hear. The truth. 

    Thank you. 

    No! Thank you! For being with me every single day I was away and feeling lonely and lost. You were here, holding my hand, holding my head and giving me hope and reason to come back and start stronger and better. You make me want to be better and you make me see who I am in a painful but healthy way. So yeah, thanks for putting up with my shit, thanks for letting me be, but most of all, thanks for not accepting any less than I can give you, and nothing less than what you deserve. 

    Well… you’re fucking welcome!

    Now, dont be mad, we can still be friends… 

    Dude… get in line. There are so many awaiting for my company over their lonely pasta dinners or beer cravings. 

    I get that. 

    Yeah, well. Good luck in your self-discovery period and thanks for coming and doing this. Appreciate you! 

    Now, if you got mad at me for tossing John at the end, you must not know the story of how he broke my heart! Well my self-esteem.

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    me.

    Editing LOVE – Chapter 1: Romanticism

    January 30th, 2020

    Romanticism. No laundry talk. No domestic chores.  Romantics believe you should not discuss too many personal stuff with your partner. You should not show yourself too much as romanticism involves two partners that immediately understand each other. Haven’t you heard? It’s called intuitive knowing. You are not suppose to explain yourself because if they love you they should get it. I mean you are a romantic (couple) so it is self explanatory, isn’t it?

    One of the most common beliefs among romantics is that you destroy the feelings and emotions by thinking too much about them. Because thinking too much breaks things. ‘You just ruined the magic!’
    A true lover believes that their partner should just know through any bathroom door. That is why romanticism never lasts. Long term, those bathroom doors just open and there it is: all the shit that people avoid to break about themselves. Short time, it’s definitely all fun, but long term we foresee a catastrophe (by we I mean definitely the experts, ha!).

    A romantic believes that when you love someone you simply love everything about them. All the imperfections and even the most annoying things. Until… one morning, when during breakfast you turn to them like: are you a cow or something??! Why are you criticizing me, I thought you love me?! they revolt. Yes, I do love you, but you eat like bovines! And now you’re telling me??!

    Well, the truth is nobody is telling you (the entire truth)! Not your parents, not your friends, not even your exes – who are too busy travelling and finding themselves. Just wake up and smell the coffee! We are a bunch of romantic people believing that any discussion of our flaws translates into critique, thus the opposite of love.  If you love me, why do you criticize me? Are you perfect? NO! Then how on earth do you imagine one not noticing?  Disaster idea of romanticism… Sigh.

    Ancient greeks believed that love is the admiration for the virtues, accomplishments and perfect sides of another person.  Love is when two people teach one another to become better persons as they have mutual interest to grow one another.  So Love = Mutual Education. Proof that LOVE is an Action!  Good luck at being a good teacher, mate! A good teacher is relaxed and not tied to the idea that his lessons really must come through. It is fine if they don’t. In love there is will. IN LOVE we are tense and on the edge. The background of our thoughts is so much on spectrum… this person is soooo different, and weird, and not seeing me! (fucking daddy issues)

    LOVE classes fail between two people when there is humiliation, criticism, nagging and no lessons shared. We usually know so much about our partners but because we think it’s a betrayal by giving them lectures, we do not teach each other the things we could benefit the most from.

    Should we reduce our expectations, you ask? No! Let’s have high expectations! Problem is romanticism gives us lots of high exceptions but no WAY how to get them. The secret is to find the ways.  Love is not something you feel, is something you learn to live. It has to come by nature. Love is an action. Love is a skill.


    To be continued…
    By the one learning about love from the books, YouTube, but most of all, from a lot of forms of love she’s receiving: parents, friends, lovers, colleagues, bosses, and most intensively: her own self. 

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    me.

    Hey You

    December 22nd, 2019

    Hey you.  Remember when I said let’s fall in love for the night and forget in the morning?  Cause I am the girl your girl hoped that you wouldn’t have eyes for?  Remember when I said you shouldn’t waste your eyes on jealous girls? Thought I knew every line you like. I like to push my luck and I know better than to call you mine.  Let’s just take a drive, get out of here, you said.  I said no, let’s hug and call it a night.  No touching you said, I said okay, and then you kissed me on the cheek.  We loved our nerdy stupid talking shit, cause talking shit is cheap and we talked a lot of it.  Now you’re gone.  I feel like I lost a friend like ice in the summer heat.  I lost my friend and all I do is write about him.  Going crazy… How the hell did I lose a friend I never had? I’d say I am sorry and I’d apologize again, if I thought it might make a difference. 

    Hey you.  Good morning. I am sure you’re busy now, why else would you ignore me?  Maybe your mind has changed again and… feel happy to love someone who lets you break them twice? Fuck it. Go ahead and break my heart again, let me wondering why the hell I ever let you back in.  And don’t blame it on me. You were the one who said goodbye then kissed me half a year later. That same perfume, those same ocean eyes.

    Hey you.  I don’t miss you at all. I swear I don’t.  I won’t break down and drunk text you again. Promise I won’t.  Cause I don’t miss you at all.  I don’t get distracted by the memories of your whispers and lips and words and arms on my hips… 

    Crush, who’s got a crush?? Touch, who wants to touch??  You said ‘no’ to staying up all night.  Crash, I like how you crash your lips into mine.  You wanna play with fire? I wanna play by your side.  Tell me something I don’t know!  I wanna scratch your surface, I wanna feel your groove, but you’re scared of too much fun. I am sad.  Congratulations, you’ve been pretending to be my friend. Might even fool me, but now I know better and we’re not the same. Nothing good lasts forever. Nothing bad as well. I always thought I needed you, before you left to USA. I called you my own sun, when you told me I’m just a moon.  You said my lips are too tasty and I said they are not for you. Was I never in your head, not even half as often as you were on my mind?

    Hey you.  Please, forgive me, if I don’t make any sense, I must’ve lost my mind.  You’re the scars on my heart, you’re the past I don’t wanna erase, you’re the words on my lips that have left but I still seem to taste.

     Don’t worry, I will be fine. But I am not tonight.
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    me.

    (my) Perfect Relationships

    December 13th, 2019

    One of my 2019’s wishes was to discover the perfect relationship. What is the perfect relationship and why set up a goal so high, you ask? Well firstly, you never know until you get it, and secondly, because when your goals are so high, if you fail, ‘you will fail above everyone else’s success’ (JC). And you wanna be high! 😀

    For the past year, I have learnt that my parents were right: you need to fix what’s broken as many times as you can before you throw it away, and you measure that by your guts, not ego, not other people’s expectations (including your parents’). This is the secret of an old school long lasting relationship. A perfect relationship can feel amazing after years of knowing each other, being together, being apart, having several boyfriends and girlfriends, traumas and completely different lives. It’s absolutely amazing to feel comfortable to speak every little piece of your mind at any given moment, and in the same time to be able to keep a secret from the same person. It’s powerful and inspiring for the ones struggling to constantly wonder why are their partners or friends being or not being ‘like that’. 

    It’s also painful as fuck. I mean there are Way too many times when the things you think and share with someone will completely hurt them. Like when you say you love them but you want them to be free, to go out there and experience more than they have. That will make them feel not good enough and struggle thinking what to do to impress and make you love them back. It feels like a loss and a trap, when it is actually just a proof of love for both parties (or indeed some act of selfishness, but that is another story). Because you can’t feel free unless you free (from) someone. But then again it comes The Fix – almost like Jimmy Carr’s – and that sheds some light and ties the knots stronger. With a sense of humour, a kind voice, a couple of tears will definitely be tagging along (totally organic and I am not being sarcastic), you can communicate your intention, what your feelings and fears are to reduce all the tension. Sometimes you will discover and understand things that were holding you back for way too long as they were never discussed. 

    A perfect relationship is based on trust. Trust does not come to someone you have hurt! Please remember that there are no enough amount of sorries that can rebuild a long broken trust. Or maybe there are but I have lost count and moved on? hmmm. We all admire people who can build and win someone’s trust. But how can we do that? I asked my manager the other day. He said he is no expert in that, but then again he led us all into an entire workshop themed on trust. Cheers to that!!

    Back to my parents’ story. They are happily in love right now, as they were from the beginning, and a few times in between all the fucking troubles they’ve been through. If you are not a couple it can be rather unpleasant to be around them. You can see two people totally mirroring each other without being anything alike. My mother chose my dad based on her … Well she saw him and said: that’s the man I am gonna marry! And to this day there is no other man worthy of her in entire universe – at least that’s what she says with her body and soul. My dad was the Casanova type. He tried quite a few ladies, including most of my mom’s college-mates before he thought he is choosing her. I think she was so mysterious that none of us knows exactly why they matched! Haha. Jk. She was everything and more my dad could even dream of. She has been his wife, his rock, his lover, his best friend, his entire world’s caretaker and his motivation for over 3 decades. And now they are starting over. Something. A perfect relationship it seems. Going to dates, movies, trips, having sex and wishing everyone the same. 

    On a friendship level, there are so many types of perfect relationships out there. I’ve also experienced the ones where we talk once a year and that is so fucking deep it’s enough for months to digest. Because we are living in different worlds and stack of goals, with different entourages and dreams we dream. And that’s even better to absorb about just here and then. ‘I miss you and I love you’ are on place, as long with ‘dude, I fucking admire you for your courage of speaking up and facing that fear of yours’. 

    This society has been pushed the farthest we’ve ever been with a huge amounts of resources. Starting a relationship and being honest about how you don’t want to label it, what your boundaries are, and being able to express your feelings is absolutely marvelous. People who are dating themselves without fucking knowing it’s another level or relationships, whether is literally or subconsciously. And then they love/hate each other for turning themselves into something they always wanted to be. 

    Sometimes a smile and a good kiss can make someone remember you forever. And that is a simply perfect relationship, right? 🙂 

    unbreakable match
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    me.

    Day 333

    November 30th, 2019

    I actually googled that so don’t bother. It is day number 333 and I don’t even think about magic numbers.

    I feel so empowered today, from the highest point to the lowest, so here you go:

    1. The SKY is blue again in Denmark, thing I haven’t seen for too many weeks now. I am sitting in a café half underground and I have to look up to see the road, the buildings and the sky is reflecting perfectly in all the windows .
    2. My DREAMS are… stupid. I am having night dreams that exhaust me as I have no interest in living them. The daily ones, which I learned they were pretty much inspired by tons of movies or books I read, are confusing me. I don’t know how I feel about my dreams anymore, because someone just broke it for me: some dreams are meant to never happen because it is in their nature and purpose to stay as just dreams…
    3. I am focusing on GOALS instead. They are my motivation to walk through the society’s shadows, adapt, fit and get somewhere. Can be really exhausting, especially with high expectations of my one and only… self.
    4. My FEELINGS are not being protected enough for the value they have. I hold an emotional bank account that is being robbed quite a few times at the expense of my desire to give and trust in the good outcome. I do TRUST more than I don’t. Because, uhm I am unaware of consequences?
    5. I have the NEED of being trusted, of connecting over trust and discover the true colors of people’s minds and guts! along with eating, sleeping or traveling. Oh, and shopping, because I tend to confuse my wardrobe with my heart. Well, it’s a hobby!
    6. I believe there is a SOUL in everyone. Maybe this should be higher up on this scale? Stop the overthinking now. I don’t know how to describe the ‘soul’ but I would place it in a personal religion where you can visualize it in the universe as a weird shape of energy. Your color!
    7. I think my BODY is not being loved enough. I know, my fault solely. It starts in my head where things have to be perfectly in shape, in touch and in the moment. Yup. Pretty utopian. But hey, today I feel good. Not wearing makeup, not wondering who notices, not wearing a bra, nor hiding too much. I am actually sitting in a window right now. More about my body on a personal level in a different journal entry, ok?
    8. Why is my MIND taking so much space? Sometimes things happening up there have no grounds in this world. I love my mind, but I hate my capability to share it at its real potential. I mean, why can’t I make people feel more, do more, see more of this world? Oh wait, think this is my damn personal frustration projected on everyone else. Maybe I need HER (having everything revealed), an alchemist of my essence.
    9. My FRIENDS are smirking right now because they have a bit of my power from all my fantasies I shared with them. You are welcome! (smirking right back at ya).
    10. OTHER PEOPLE, you, maybe, will think afar from my essence. That is interesting to me. I respect and encourage everyone’s guts, ways and calls, but… yeah. Let’s have the ‘but’ later and in person.
    11. DEAD PEOPLE are new to me now. It is the first time in my life I am thinking about dead people and trying to learn how not to be scared, accept them and feel nothing.
    12. Same with ISSUES and FEARS which I left at the bottom of the scale as they are the ones I want to think the least today.  
    The guy behind me is everything in this picture.
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  • Sometimes I look at my nipples and thank them. They never disappoint.

    me.

    ’19 Thanks-Givings

    November 29th, 2019

    Today I wished I’d be some kind of an American, sitting at a table with lots of friends and family members eating that all those mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and just a little bit of that pie! I only did it once – joined a Thanksgiving dinner – and it felt so right! Maybe I was born with it? Maybe it’s Maybelline. Maybe next year?🦃 

    I’ve sent my gratitude personally to a handful of wonderful people I would love to have at my thanksgiving dinner table, but there are some things I feel I could get away with publicly:  

    1. I really do appreciate that one person sending me internet jokes every morning to make me smile and for asking me how do I feel. It did made my week better so I will see you on Saturday night!
    2. Much love to my daily person ❤️ You are wonderful.
    3. Thankful for my wonderful sisters living in Canada, Australia, Germany and Switzerland for sending me life updates, pictures and voice messages. You ladies are my queens!
    4. Feeling so lucky having an amazing career mentor who inspires me and teaches me how to live a good professional life even outside the office.
    5. Really grateful for my manager who makes me wanna be better. And a star.
    6. So thrilled and grateful to my favorite Irish actor for loving me back (this is actually realer than it sounds). I wanna say you are my rockstar, but you are literally a movie star and… yeah, will see you soon!
    7. Appreciating my very spiritual Romanian friends who can take any of my weirdest thoughts and emotions into an insightful debate
    8. Many thanks to my family who is not annoying me anymore, aka not asking me to comply to the traditional beliefs. Not that they usually do, but today I really did not have room for living up to more expectations. Why do I even do that?? Oh yeah, to make people happy 🙂
    9. Thanks to this fucking awful weather that awakens me in so many levels…
    10. Thanks, Denmark, for making me live all my dreams, but also all my fucking fears. 
    11. Thanks to my office person. ❤️ u mate! I am soooooo proud of you. If you know it’s you, come by my desk today!
    12. Thank you, reader, for being curious. Your interest interests me. For reals. Please do engage with me on on that. 
    13. Appreciating my household dog. Pfff isn’t he the best? Not saying or judging anything and anyone. Not asking for anything. Adapting to everyone. 
    14. I am grateful to you, the one I kissed last time. My lips might have been too soft for you and that is okay but I did think of you, every single day. Because your lips left footprints…
    15. I am grateful to you, the ones who always think of me when something out of the ordinary happens and then you text or call. Way to go!
    16. I love to hear when you’re inspired. It gives me hope. And more purpose.
    17. I am happy to share with you. Even my food, and even when you’ve been emptying my emotional bank account. 
    18. On that matter, much appreciate it when someone is chipping in with their emotions. You are my heroes! The modern currency I am working on is expensive af.
    19. And finally, thanks 2019, for being a motherfucker! You made quite a few of my wishes come true and I couldn’t be more grateful! 

    Much appreciate it!

    Yours truly,

    V.

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