Suicide
This is a Bobby Gaylor song ( well, technically, it’s not really a song but some sort of a recorded speech, but what the heck! They call it a song, so a song it is. Watev!) Only a few knows who he is ( from outside the US, that is) and since this one’s too good to not be shared, here it goes….
Animals don’t have a choice.
If they’re not happy with their place in the world… too bad.
They have to live the life they’ve been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don’t have to.
We have a choice.
If you don’t like your place in the world, you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That’s right.
You don’t like the way your life’s going,
you don’t like the way you are in the world,
anything around you, you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren’t allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There’d be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras… if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, “What the F*#K!”
Black & white in a green & brown world… this blows.
I’m just gonna jump in the river….
I don’t have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife
or even open a jar of pills.
I’m just gonna dive into the next lion’s mouth.
Why even bother?”
Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb
so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do.
Now, there’s a bunch of people that say,
“Oh, it’s against the law”.
Well, it’s only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught.
Other people say, “Oh, we should save them”.
Yeah, well you know what?
Not everybody wants to be saved.
Not everybody should be saved.
And who are we to force our will upon them?
I mean, isn’t that one of the joys about being a human?
Freedom of choice?
Now, it’s not all bad.
Now, I’m not saying “Kill yourself”.
But if you’re gonna be an idiot and do it anyway,
it’s no sweat off of my back.
There’s a lot of good that could come from it.
A little bit of bad thrown in.
Some of the things:
A job will open…
An apartment will become available…
There’ll be more air for me…
They say there’s two girls for every guy – if you’re a man, there’ll be four chicks for me…
There’ll be more Ketel One vodka for me…
There’ll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out…
I won’t ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips
and have the clerk point at you and say, “They bought the last bag”….
You won’t help change the McDonald’s sign to a Hundred Billion Served…
You’ll never get AIDS…
You won’t have to worry about calories ever…
No more, “Hey, does this make me look fat?”…
There’ll be one less polluting human…
You won’t have to recycle… There’ll be one less car on the road…
There’ll be more Ring Dings for me…
Fifty or so chickens’ lives will be spared…
Your fingers won’t ever get red from eating pistachios…
You won’t be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore…
No more church…
You’ll be saying, “Hey, World – Kiss My Ass!”…
No more wet dreams about Supermodels…
No more Barry Manilow… Not for a few years anyway…
Wondering “Am I a loser?” will be a thing of the past…
Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles…
You won’t have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion…
F*#K flossing and brushing…
You’ll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare…
Adios, Acne…
Worrying whether you fit in or not won’t be on your brain…
See ya later, homework…
You’ll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park…
School’s out forever….
No more paying bills…
You won’t have to do chores…
You won’t be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though…
You’ll also miss McDonald’s French Fries…
Bugs Bunny…
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time…
You won’t be able to watch the letterbox director’s cut of Jaws…
Candy…
Living above ground…
Pudding crust…
You’ll miss the rush of getting your first apartment…
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to
“F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes, you did”…
You’ll miss sex – you’ll miss thinking about it, looking for it,
sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners…
No more summer nights that seem to go on forever… Roller coasters….
Naming your kid the name you always wanted…
Making a difference in the world…
You’ll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics…
Watching your neighbor’s wife change clothes with her blinds open…
A lifetime of masturbating…
Watching your favorite team sweep the series…
Music, you will definitely miss music…
Trying to sneak into your house drunk – three hours past your curfew…
You’ll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks…
The taste of Captain Crunch…
If you’re a boy, you’ll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl’s shirt…
If you’re a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy’s pants…
You’ll miss your favorite coat…
Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries…
Beating your friends at video games…
You won’t be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be…
You’ll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love – thirty years after the fact…
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas…
Skinny dipping…
Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin…
Flying cars…
Hey, you were born, finish what you started!
Dancing with the Jellyfish
Armed with a few bucks and a bleeping headache, my friend the biatch and I went to compostela last Saturday for our annual batch reunion. Lilay is not a high school classmate, but what the heck, I still brought her. Meeting time was 6:00pm, which in Pinoy time meant 9:00pm. Still, I refused to be late so we arrived by 7:00. Bad move. My classmates arrived at exactly 9:pm. We were stuck there for two hours, wondering if we were on the right place, and avoiding the curious looks of the cutthroats from the next cottage.
Joan, a friend and classmate from nursery till college, apologized profusely. I decided to let the matter go so as not to ruin the night. After that, everything went on smoothly. Or so i thought.
After we had our fill with the food, of course, inum dayon. While we were stuffing ourselves with alcohol, Jhoey’s boyfriend Patrick and I engaged in a healthy discussion. What started out as a friendly banter turned into a full-scale argument. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but i’m pretty sure it involved a lot of shouting. No, we were not really quarreling, we’re just ahmmm discussing. I can be really feisty and mean when I’m loaded with alcohol. Proud as he was, he was close to strangling me after he saw that he couldn’t outsmart me. Instead, he just gripped my shoulders really hard, and thereby leaving small bruises. But I couldn’t really care less. I took a pleasure in looking at him groping for the right words to say but couldn’t find them.
To stop pissing each other further, the gang decided to hit the waters. It was heaven. For a while. I just said to Lilay that I could live there (in the water) forever when something stung my knee. So, I told Lilay somebody bit my knee. She just laughed it off and said maybe it’s an MV Princess of the Star survivor. I told here it’s not funny. Five minutes later, Patrick announced there’s a bokya. We were out of the water in seconds.
Apart from a little itch on the knee, the bokya did not really bring any damage. I told myself I’m not going back into the water. But some of my classmates took a dip. I waited for 30minutes to hear any of them howl in pain. But I didn’t hear any, so I decided to go back, thinking, “what the heck, maybe the bokya had enough of me!’ So, I giddily ran back into the water and promptly sat on a, yes, bokya. Talking about bad luck. My shrieks of horror and pain can be heard all the way to Timbukto. I was out of the water 5 seconds after I got there.
My thigh felt like it got a painful lashing, much to the glee of Patrick. It hurt so bad I was tearful by the time I got to our cottage. And this was from a girl who did not even wince when she was tattooed for seven hours straight. Choy helped me apply some vinegar on my skin, much to the chagrin of his Japayuki ( okay, half Japanese. But this is my blog, so shut up!) gf. She practically shoved me out of the way and then clung to Choy like a tarsier. I would have given her a piece of my mind about her rude behavior, but I was so busy cursing the creature from hell (that’s you, bokya!). I only managed to give her an oh-please-I-know-Choy-even-before-you-were-on-your-nappies look. She’s not really that young, or we old for that matter, but I digress. It was really rude of her.
Refusing to go near the water again, I took a shower and changed into clean clothes and cursed the place and the bokya in between. After which, I promptly fell asleep until it was time for us to go home.
The trip home made me forget the disaster that happened not so long ago. While we were having a kamikaze ride at the back of the pick-up, talking about everything and nothing, i realized that i actually missed these guys. It reminded me that once , we were really close. But sadly, we already have different lives now. And people do actually move on. And jellyfishes, cute as they are, are evil creatures!
Manic- Depressive Monday
I feel so awfully lazy today that i decided to update the blog ( Ironic isn’t it?). It’s been a week (gasp) since I had my last beer which, suffice to say, is a miracle considering the drinking marathon i’ve been doing these past couple of months.
I don’t know how to explain the reason behind this sudden drinking spell. I just woke up one day feeling awfully sad, which was really weird since my life has been flowing oh so smoothly to the point of monotony. Yet, I felt like I was living in a parallel universe, watching as life passes like a blur. I felt so detached, like an audience.
So, I drink. I guess I was just reliving my juvenile days in which I drink like there’s no tomorrow. My only worries were if my allowance would arrive in time. At least 4 times a week, I was drunk. My brother had been eternally boxing my ears with his sermons, yet I was happy.
So, I was thinking that maybe alchohol could vanish this depressing feeling I have. For a while, it did. For two months, I was nursing perpetual hangovers. I swore off beer every time I woke up with a nasty headache, yet when dusk came, I drag whoever’s with me to drink. Pathetic.
Guilt to what I was doing to myself, and to my dear friends, made me decide to stop. Bad move. Really bad move. I was having bout of insomia which kept me awake until the wee hours of the morning. So again, I turned in to the solace of beer. Health concerns made me stop drinking my myself to stupor altogether.
For week, I thought everything was going okay, that I was back to my normal, old self. But while I was sipping a pathetic excuse of an orange juice this lunck break, a wave of depression suddenly hit me. I didn’t know where it came from (I know where, but I ain’t telling nobody).
So now, I am debating with myself whether it’s worth it to forsake the health measures that I’m observing for days now or not. Sadly, I-don’t-care side is winning. Maybe you’re thinking that I’m just looking for excuses to drink. Maybe I am. But the bottomline is, I need beer. Now. And pass me some Kleenex too while you’re at it. *sob* *sob*
Suway lang.
Kay kintahay Bisaya man ta, dili man siguro lain nga suwayan sa pagsulat pinaagi sa pulong Binisaya. Bati man sad pamalandungon nga maayo lang ta sa pulong sa mga langyaw, pero sa atong kaugalingong pulong, murag di ta ganahan. Sa lakton pangkasulti, Kahilas naman!… eheheh
Bisan kinsa naman sad nato, makabati na gani ug naay mag English2 labi na sa mga lugar nga dili angay Englis-englisan, manlimbawt gyud ang balahibo. Maayo unta kung ang sakto ang English, di bya jud. Ug sakto man tuod, ang dagway sa nagstorya sad, pwera-buyag, di man sad angayan mag englis2. Dili man sad sa hinawayon ta, ang ato lang, ibutang sa saktong lugar. Adto sa inyong trabahoan ay ( kung colboy ug colgirl mo), hala, pagyaw2 mo didto taman sa inyong ginhawa. Ipagawas na tanan ninyong kinamote nga englis. ehehe (hinawayon jud diay tuod)
Mao na ni ron. Naghuna2 ra ko sa pagsuwat ug Bisaya na blog, pero wala man diay ko nagkapangandam kung unsay akong saysayon. Saunsss…
Mustorya unta ko mahitungod sa akong trabaho, pero usa ra man ang akong masulti niini, “Kapoy!”
Samot sad, dili ko kabalo mubuhat ug mga balak. Wa gyud ko’y pulos. (Manaway nuon, maayo ko..ehehe)
Basta, mao lang ni ang unang hugna sa umaabot pang mga panulat nga sure jud ko wa gihapo’y klaro.
Naunsa naman sad mo oi! Unsa pa man inyo gi-expect sa pareha naku nga hanap ug libog ayo nga pagkataw. ehehe
Pastilan! Kapoy man sad diay ni siya. eheh
Fish: Friend and Confidante
It’s your birthday. Asa man ta ron? Ehehehe. As you have known, I’m almost broke. So, I can’t buy you a gift on your birthday. But please keep in mind that I really would have loved to give you something. Since I can’t afford it, maybe a blog would suffice. It’s the thought that counts dba? ehehe.. I’m being mean. I know man gud you would appreciate this as much as the material gift that I should have bought you. So, I’m taking advantage.
Please don’t think that I feel really obliged to give you something on your birthday. No. It’s not that. I just feel like we never said anything to you that would let you know how much you mean to us.
We may be shouting at each other most of the time, but I know we are really not angry with each other, we’re just talking..eheheh. You may be, most of the time, the “pulutan” of our chill, but you’re always be our “coy,” the one who we run into when we’re feeling really down.
You are the first one I think about when I need someone to talk to whenever me and the boyfriend are in a fight. This may seems like you are our shock-absorber, or something like that, but it’s more than that. You’re the one whom we shared our secret pain and hidden tears. You’ve seen us in our most “wa-poise” moments. You’re just there. You’re always there.
I know we’re being selfish. We take comfort in knowing that you are always there to stick your nose into our business. ehehe. It may seems that we hate it every time you’re meddling into our affairs, but the truth is, we love it that you do. I know it’s because you care. And for that, we’re grateful. Really. We just don’t show it much..eheheh
Happy Birthday Fish! Love yah!
P.S.
This is the last time I’m gonna be sappy with you…ehehehhe
Meet the Devils..
kini cla mga gwapa
pro hastang sabaana
lanog2 tingog
gagmay rabag bukog
mga tigas
gagmay rabag lawas
gwapo tirada
bsta long hair pasar ka!
pwde sad opaw
bsta nindot mosayaw
bryt sad ni cla
close sah maestra
sa skwela magtinarong
basta di lang hagbong
mayo sad ning mga bayhana
kung inom na ang s2rya
bbs hang out
hangtod knock out
pero mga buotan
basta dili unhan
cge lang katawa
bisan ala kwarta
reggae ug rock
sila swak na swak
asang konsyerto
mga dagway tua dd2
basta mao nato
tagay gurlzzz saludo!
ai tenk u baw
To the other me..
Hey, you’re 21. Do I dare send my warmest greetings to you? Nah. I know it’s like our silent agreement not to. It’s sappy.
I don’t know what to say to you that won’t give you any goosebumps or without you rolling your eyes. But I’ll try to write this in as few words as possible. This is my only gift. What can I say, I’m a cheapskate. ehehehe
We’ve been together for a long time. I will always remember how we hated each other when we first met. ehehehe. But it was easy to see that we’re cut from the same cloth. We clicked, just liked that.
We were branded as the blacksheeps of our batch, and we loved it. We spent most of our college years either in the moshpit banging our heads, or in our favorite hangout drinking till we drop. We laughed constantly, flirted carelessly, and cried passionately. We landed into enough troubles that could last a lifetime. We shared childish infatuations and body bruises. We were tested by hardships, misunderstandings, and yes, betrayals.
We fought together, but never with each other.
We may be a lot more subdued right now, spending most our time together just talking, chilling out, or playing computer games. But I always know that deep inside, we are still those girls. Young, skinny and carefree. ehehehe
Can’t say I’m always here. Don’t want to make promises like that. I may not be there immediately with you when you text me. But if you include “Inom ta nah!” in your text…hmmm.. That’s another story. eheheh
Anyhow, be careful always, mate. We still have lots of plans. We still have to sweep the world off its feet. Ehehehe
P.S.
Happy Birthday Ki… eheheh
Sorry. Can’t help it.
The Fat and Furious 