Engendering Happiness, Light and Health

1. Feeling rather mopey this morning (even after going to bed early last night) I remindmyself (without being hard on myself) that I will engender more of whatever I focus on and that I have a choice as to what that will be. I am grateful that I have established Zelig Three as way to create more of what I want in my life.

2. When we first looked at this flat I was afraid that it might be dark and dreary, but as it turns out, with the heavy curtains gone and the wall colours lightened up, there is actually a very lively interplay of light throughout the space all day long - best of all we get the early morning rays squeezing through a gap in the neighbouring houses and into our bedroom.

3. I am grateful that I have my health, and that I am able to direct my efforts toward empowering others who are having a challenge with their heath at the moment (www.milliondollarmay.com).

4. I just opened the back door to let Zelig out and the forsythia in the yard next door is ablaze in its golden glory. Dee-licious.

Peeping Tom, Rallying Relations, Stunning Sun

1. After rushing home at lunch time to let Zelig out for a run, I am walking back to Statement and I am delighted to look up to see a rather plump set of very white legs peeking out from behind an aqua-coloured blanket draped over a second-floor verandah. Summer is definitely on its way!

2. Last night I lay awake in bed, worrying that perhaps my idea to make a million dollars in one month for various charities is a bit crazy. I hope that I haven't offended any of Maureen's friends or family. This morning I got a round of cheering responses that supported me in my rather large vision.

3. Sitting in Statement with the sun streaming through the clerestory windows high above and being transfixed by the vibrancy of colours in the play of light the sun affords.

The Dash, The Balm, Million Dollar May

1. After two and a half months in limbo and thinking that I really should get back to my three beautiful things, I receive a link to this the site http://www.thedashmovie.com and am reminded how important it is to be grateful for all the good things in our lives!

2. A balmy 24 degrees celcius (in April! in Halifax!) and a slice of delicious sunshine across my face as I walk to work at Statement is almost too much goodness to bear!

3. I've been asked to help co-ordinate a silent auction as part of a benefit for my good friend Maureen Keating who is recovering from a cancerous brain tumour. In a matter of days it has gone from being a small silent auction to a "Million Dollar May" campaign with (hopefully) national and international media attention - raising the profile of several of Maureen's favourite charities and providing them with substantial donations. I am both exhilerated and mortified by the prospects of the task at hand, but grateful to have an opportunity to make an impact in this way.

Naturally Gorgeous, Hello There, Eleven Eleven

1. It seems like a silly little thing, but I think I actually like the way my hair is looking of late - and how its natural waves and curls seem to fall right into place when I simply let it air-dry and do its own thing.

2. One of the things that I disliked the most about being in Toronto was the way that it seemed almost impossible to connect with friends or family members - even if they only lived a few short blocks away. Tonight after Ray drops me off after work, I am waiting for the light to change when I notice a gaggle of people waving at me - and realize it is my good friend Susan with a couple of other friends from her work. They are heading to a movie at the Oxford Cinema and invite Tyler and I to join if we'd like. This is exactly the kind of community and happenstance that I missed in Toronto.

3. I lay awake at night and cannot, for the life of me, get to sleep. I rise to realise that it is 1:11 am. I often see times such as this displayed on the clock. 1:11, 11:11, 4:44, 11:44 and so on. I also saw these recurring numbers on exit signs and mileposts all the way here from Toronto. I've been told that these are angelic messages or other harbingers of good things to come (they often do come at the most auspicious times) - and I always get a little thrill whenever I see them.

While She Was Out, Visions of Sunshine, Good Puppies

1. Tyler and I have both been a bit under the weather and staying at our friend Angela's place. Being 'under the weather' has led to the watching of entirely too much daytime television - specifically makeover shows. We get inspired to rearrange Angela's furniture for her and make things a little more cozy for when she will arrive home from her 'Snoop Dog' concert around 2 in the morning. We buzz about the house pulling accessories and furniture pieces from other rooms and in just under an hour we have completely transformed the living room making it look cozy and 'lived in'. Hopefully the 2am Angela will share our enthusiasm!

2. Tonight we head out to see an apartment at Tower Road and Victoria. Although it's one of the grungiest apartments I've seen (you'd think if you were trying to sublet an apartment you would at least drag a broom haphazardly across the floor in an effort to tidy up the stray brown plant leaves and cigarettes and bottle caps, but apparently that hadn't occured to this guy) I am inspired by a turret full of windows, a wood stove, and a wall of cedar siding which, with a fresh coat of paint on everything else, could actually conspire to make this a bright and 'Wallpapersih' little flat. Bedtime finds me, sketchbook and pencil in hand, coming up with furniture layouts for the prospective apartment (even though we're not even sure it has laundry - all I can think about is that sun-soaked turret).

3. With cold, flus, migraines (the first ever - I have a whole new appreciation for you migraine sufferers!) and general malaise - combined with the particular angst of being in a state of transiton between homes and not yet knowing where we will be living, I have been particularly cranky, yet somehow Tyler is able to see and encourage the good in me. This makes me think of my 'good puppy' revelation way back in the summer when we first got Zelig. We're all really just good puppies on the inside. Thanks Ty.

Mile High Sky, Family Matters , Abundance

1. I know it's ridiculous how much I talk about the sky here, but earlier today I enjoyed an article in Utne magazine all about clouds and on my way home something about the reflected glow on the buildings in front of me makes me turn to take in a most breath-taking ribbon of candied persimmon running along the edge of a breathless blue sky and forget all about the troubles of the day.

2. My mom has never met Tyler (or any of my previous partners for that matter) and though I often wish that she would be open to doing so, I find my spirits lifted when, while hanging up the phone after a conversation with my mom, Tyler remarks how it is odd, but he feels that in some strange way he actually does have a relationship with my mom as he is usually in the background during most of my telephone conversations with her, and I include tidbits about each of them in my conversations with the other.

3. We posted our coffee table for sale on Kijiji, sold it tonight, and were able to make a $250 profit on it. Between that and the rebate cheque on our rent, which we also received this evening, we are feeling rather 'flush' (or at least 'covered') as we prepare for our roadtrip back to Halifax.

Chattering Windowpanes, Surf's Up, Man on a Mission

1. This morning brings the first real snow we have had this season - most of it coming from the east in the form of ice pellets rattling against the bedroom windows while we are still tucked cozily in bed. Later, Zelig and I head out towards the beach. His nails give him great traction, but I slip and slide along behind him and he marches ahead, undeterred.

2. We come to the edge of a rise beyond which appears a rapidly churning, roiling lake. It's as animated as I have ever seen it and it brings to mind images of surfers riding the frothy crests of winter waves at Lawrencetown Beach in Nova Scotia.

3. I've been enjoying reading books by David Bach and Jean Chatzky on personal finance lately and am gearing up to be my best budget-conscious, goal focused self in 2007.

A City to Myself, Confidant's Confidence, Tuckered Out / Tucked In

1. My friend Ray is in town from Halifax and has asks me to join him as he tours the Toronto Furniture Market. Hence I am up before dawn, showered and dressed and on the streetcar by 7:30am. Unencumbered by traffic or other passengers wanting to board, the streetcar glides silently across Queen Street like a ghost ship sailing through a sea of scattered snowflakes.

2. It's comforting to reconnect with Ray. He and I worked together for two years while I was in Halifax, and I will be rejoining him at his shop called Statement when we return to Halifax in a few weeks. I always enjoy our conversations and have received much sage advice from him over the years. I am buoyed by the fact that he seeks my counsel on many of the pieces that he chooses for the store, and seems to genuinely appreciate the insights I have to share.

3. Getting ready for bed and feeling a bit tuckered out after almost 10 hours in a stuffy convention hall, Tyler offers to make me a cup of tea, I accept, he asks what kind, I say the usual, and minutes later I am presented with a steaming mug of chai tea, sweetened with a teaspoon of honey and made all the more smooth with a shot of silky soy milk.

Sleep-in, Shop-in, Stare-in

1. Having worked an extra hour the other day means I get to sleep in and go to the store a bit later today.

2. Sam's store is the busiest today that it has been since I have been working there. With about twenty customers in the store at any one time and three major sales, it feels like a rather productive day.

3. At some point today (I can't remember exactly when) Tyler and I have a bit of a cheeky stare-down and I relish a few moments in which to ponder the rich chocolaty brown-ness of his eyes.

Missing Cousins, China Blues, Grade Egg

1. My cousin Nancy and I have made plans to head out to the country to visit my grandma. Nancy and I grew up together, went to the same high school and attended many church-related events together, and it is nice to spend the day with her, both catching up on what's new and reliving several fun memories.

2. We decide to take grandma out for lunch to Yin's in Waterford, a favourite local Chinese restaurant, where we each get to choose a favourite dish. Grandma's request is for the sweet and sour chicken balls, Nancy chooses the chow mein, and I go for the diced chicken with vegetables and almonds. Served up steaming hot in great mounds in wok-like serving dishes, this is Canadian-Chinese food at its best. (Although I do still miss the Halifax egg rolls with the unidentifiable greyish brown filling which sounds so incredibly terrible, yet tastes so incredibly good). It's always fun to see grandma's icicle blue eyes sparkle mischievously, and they seem particularly enchanting today against the pink hues of her sweater and those of the wallpaper behind her.

3. Upon our return to grandma's apartment she pulls out a photo album which contains a smattering of photos from across the years, and lo and behold we come across a couple of grandpa grading eggs in the old blue barn on the farm.

1. Changing displays

2. Halifax Flat

3. Arrested Development

1. Holts

2. Empowerment of reading - Jean Chatzky, Martha Rules

3. Couple on Streetcar - crinkled eyes - the way his mouth curls up when he smiles.

Get a Rhythm, Safe Harbour, Pep Squad

1. Using my SAD lamp on a daily basis seems to be resetting my internal clock and I find myself waking naturally around dawn feeling rested and having enough energy to get up and write my morning pages.

2. The whole idea of heading 'home' to Nova Scotia seems to have provided us with a sense of purpose and set us into a state of action. It's opened up new ways of thinking about our purpose in life and how to create meaningful work (or right livelihood) in ways that we might not have thought about before. It's also got us thinking and talking about the future, making plans together, so that even in the midst of the 'hardships' of the last several months, it's nice to know that we have each other, to know that we have successfully weathered our first 'storm', and are enthusiastically charting our next course.

3. As an added benefit of all this talking of heading back to Nova Scotia, we hear from our friends and 'family' back in Halifax about how excited they all are about the possibility of having us back in their midst. I had a chance to speak with Susan and Maureen this evening. Tyler has been keeping Angela updated on a regular basis. Ray and I have been back and forth regarding plans for us to work together again. It is comforting to have these little connections across the miles.

Get the Scoop, Confessions of Closet Word Sleuth, I Can Be Such a Goof

1. Have you ever noticed how sometimes the anticipation of a thing is almost as good as the actual thing itself? Walking down Queen Street the last couple of days I've noticed that Ed's Real Scoop looks to be closed, and I am a bit surprised as I thought I'd read that they stayed open all winter. Today a closer inspection leads me to a hand-written note taped to the door saying that they are closed for painting and cleaning and plan to re-open on Sunday if the weather is nice. Just the thought of a sunny Sunday afternoon and a scoop of Ed's toasted coconut gelato has me beaming for hours.

2. For some reason, while treating ourselves to Starbucks last weekend, I decided to start a crossword puzzle in the Toronto Star I found lying on a sunny window ledge beside our table. I've often associated crosswords either with extremely bookish types or seniors sitting in comfy chairs beside crackling fires (or even people with nothing better to do!), but it seems my competitive streak gets the best of me I'm hooked to the point that I find myself working on another puzzle this weekend. This time it's me sitting in the comfy reading chair by the fire, and although I am actually enjoying it, I tell myself the real reason that I am doing it is because it's good for my memory.

3. This evening I head to bed in a bit of a sulky mood, pretending I don't want to engage with the outside world, attempting to isolate myself from any kind of open communication. Fifteen minutes later my entire being relaxes as Tyler slides into bed beside me and, slipping an arm around my waist and one under my pillow, moulds the contours of his body perfectly to my own. A sigh of relief issues from deep within, 'he really is perfect' it seems to say.

Hot Toddy, Tuna Melts and Top 40

1. It's funny how comforting even just a cup of hot water can be. I'm on to my second cup of tea for the morning before I notice that in my rush out the door Tyler has forgotten to add a tea bag to the thermos. This reminds me of my great Aunt Hazel who, in her younger days, was always at the forefront of new health trends. We often spend a week at the end of the summer with her at her cottage, and often to reduce her caffeine intake, she would drink hot water instead of coffee.

2. Dinner this evening is a couple of tuna melts with old cheddar, yogurt and herbs de provence on giant croissants. I tell Tyler that this has funnily enough become one of my favourite meals. Comfort food I guess.

3. Classical 96.3 often plays the classics of the classics - the stuff almost everyone is familiar with. Sometimes this gets on my nerves, but this evening after dessert and sitting here typing away in the intimately lit living room it seems just right.

Birds, Birds, Birds

1. Walking home from Sam's store I turn to look up a side street and behold a tree which at first glance might seem to be fully in leaf, but the 'leaves' which fill out this tree are moving and jostling about in a most peculiar fashion. Upon closer examination I see at what appears to be hundreds of grackles 'leafing' out their arboreal perch.

2. A bit further along on my walk, I hear a chorus of flapping and look up to see a flock of pigeons moving as one in the sky above. First they fly north, then a sharp bolt straight up, back to the south side of the street and so on, moving in perfect unison with no one leader. Won't it be nice when we humans remember how to work together in this way?

4. Halfway home at the corner of Queen and Kingston Road I look up yet again, this time to see the black power lines of a music staff dotted with a rather 'busy' piece of music featuring starling 'notes'.

Tackled, Tickled, Transformation

1. I take a bit of guilty pleasure in the fact that Zelig seems to love to "pick on" me (and not so much on Tyler) - pulling at my jeans, nipping at my sweater sleeves, and ambushing my shins as I emerge from the hallway or the bedroom. I know this is probably some sort of dominant behaviour that ought to be quelled before it gets completely out of hand, but I can't help being overcome by the cute "puppyness" of it all. I also know that it's a bit naughty of me, but I kind of like the way it gets Tyler worked into a bit of a frenzy when Zelig pesters me this way. Sorry Ty!

2. Riding home on the streetcar, I am caught off guard by a blaze of pink whipping the western sky into wispy mounds of cotton candy.

3. Climbing the final hill on my walk home from the streetcar, I can almost feel the light of the moon pulsing in the sky behind a bank of gauzy clouds, pushing back the dark of night.

Walks, Talks and Treats

1. Zelig and I have gotten into the habit of going for a twenty or thirty minute walk each morning, and with the weather being as pleasant as it has been this has been a pleasure. The sky was crystal clear and the sun illuminated the morning's glory.

2. A few months ago we picked up David Bach's "Smart Couples Finish Rich" and I have been pecking away at it for awhile. Today Tyler and I do some of the exercises, discussing our top five values around money. I find a sense of empowerment in spite of the lean phase we are in. I see how we really could be at a point of moving forward very quickly as it relates to finances.

3. Even though we are trying to be good and not indulge in 'junk' foods, a post-dinner daze finds us longing for something to fill our craving for something sweet. The cupboards are nearly bare but we have a lemon and we have some eggs, so I am able to whip up a little lemon custard which hits the spot with its sweet tanginess.