Games I Completed in 2021 – Part One

Posted on December 27, 2021 by toconnell88

January

Mortal Kombat 11

Purple Rain, purple Rain! ♫

I’ve been a Mortal Kombat fan since the very first instalment. It’s been great to see this series evolve from a stiff, simplistic fighter best known for courting controversy into a mature, respectable fighting series with competitive depth. The complex lore and Hollywood-tier cinematics are second to none, and a big reason why the campaign is so enjoyable.

Actual footage from my schoolyard days.

In most respects, Mortal Kombat 11 is a simple refinement of 2015’s Mortal Kombat X. Other than a roster shake-up (where you at, Reptile!?), greater graphical fidelity and some contentious tweaks to the meta, it’s a fundamentally similar experience to its predecessor. One noteworthy difference is that fighters’ appearances and movesets are now fully customisable. There’s also an (outstanding!) additional DLC campaign, a series first.

Story wise, Mortal Kombat 11 concludes the narrative arc that began with 2011’s spiritual reboot Mortal Kombat. By meddling with time to prevent Armageddon, Earthrealm’s warriors have created dangerous paradoxes and invoked the wrath of Kronika, the Keeper of Time. It’s a bunch of nonsense, really, but it facilitates some amazing fan service. It’s a lot of fun seeing interactions between past and present versions of characters. Story modes in fighting games rarely get this much care and attention. With Mortal Kombat 11, Netherealm Studio have proven they’re a cut above the competition.

Resident Evil 2 Remake

This fucker’s still chasing me in my nightmares…

The 2019 remake of Resident Evil 2 is easily one of the best games I’ve ever played. It’s certainly the best Resident Evil game. Every facet of it impresses: the graphics, atmosphere, puzzles, controls, voice acting, sound design, story and pacing.

Being relentlessly pursued by the foreboding giant Mr X is a gaming experience that will stick with me for a long time. Resident Evil 2 is a masterpiece that I recommend to everyone.

Donut County

BK, the absolute mad lad.

Short, colourful and delightfully strange, Donut County is perfect Game Pass fodder. It grabbed my attention early on with its chill gameplay and acerbic tone. The presentation and humour are strong, and it has the good sense to end before it wears out its own welcome.

February

Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order

More like ‘Jedi Fallen Through Boulder’, amirite? … “…Use the jank, Cal!”

As a huge fan of Star Wars and Respawn’s signature IP Titanfall, Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order should have been right up my alley. Unfortunately, I found it to be a frustrating mish-mash of ideas from other better games. The combat system cribs heavily from popular ‘Soulslike’ titles like Sekiro and Dark Souls. But those titles’ claim to fame – their punishing difficulty – is predicated on a methodical, razor-sharp combat system that rewards precise play. Jedi Fallen Order’s combat, by comparison, feels sloppy and buggy.

The combat is at its worst when you’re made to deal with the intergalactic wildlife. To be honest, I’m not sure how the concept of fighting giant frogs and insects in a Star Wars game even left the drawing board. The creature designs are horribly dull and their attacks are poorly telegraphed and difficult to read. Fighting Stormtroopers is comparatively more enjoyable.

Like Disney’s The Mandalorian, the story was serviceable. It’s a patchwork of (at this point well-worn) Star Wars tropes. I wasn’t particularly invested and the few narrative twists that occurred telegraphed themselves from a mile away. However, the presentation was great and I enjoyed the banter between the crew members. Their personalities felt fully realised.

The visuals were solid, with nice lighting and mocap performances. However, some areas of the game betrayed the lack of overall polish. Clipping occurred frequently during combat and there were janky animations abound. Cal’s facial animations were a bit uncanny. He had that quintessential Ubisoft thousand-yard-stare. The planets and environments, of which there were disappointingly few, ranged from hideous to beautiful. Oh, and #JusticeForWookies! They look like swamp monsters in this game. Total abominations.

Chew-back the fuck away from me!

Another issue I wanted to address was the RPG-lite ‘skill tree’, which felt extremely tacked on. None of the abilities I unlocked shook up the gameplay in any meaningful way, so I never felt the rewarding sense of development that such a system implies. I also disliked the way the game used memory loss as its narrative justification for gating classic Jedi abilities. This felt very contrived and video gamey.

The final thing I wanted to rant about was the abysmal level design and map system. Too much of this game is spent tediously backtracking between locations. Puzzlingly, there’s no option to warp back to the ship following completion of a dungeon. Instead, you must slog your way back through already-completed areas, repeating platforming sections and contending with respawned enemies while the unintuitive map does its darndest to confuse and disorient you.

I know I kind of went all-in on this game, but I genuinely found it a frustrating and disappointing experience. I’m not sure how it reviewed as well it did, or why fans rate it as highly as they do. I suspect it’s because the Star Wars brand has been held hostage for so long now and so new games are being graded on a different, ‘EA’ curve. Still, Respawn remains a talented developer and there are flickers of greatness here. I’m confident the sequel will improve upon these issues.

Slayaway Camp

Fintastic.

This Games with Gold giveaway was an inventive puzzler and love letter to the horror film genre. Each chapter pays loving homage to an era of cinematic horror history.

While the presentation appealed to my inner cinephile, the puzzles became impenetrably complex. Each world introduces new gimmicks that affect how you can proceed. It starts off enjoyably enough but, with only a single linear route to victory, quickly devolved into a tedious grind of trial and error. The later levels are just straight-up ridiculous, with the player expected to anticipate the sprawling consequences of all 25 required moves. Maybe Grand Chess Masters will enjoy this, but it was all a bit much for this feeble chimp.

Still, the wonderful sound effects, death animations and clever references did a great job mitigating some of this frustration.

Wilmot’s Warehouse

The perfect way for warehouse workers to unwind after a stressful 9-to-5’er.

A charming and inventive indie puzzle game with a seemingly banal but actually novel premise: arranging stock in a warehouse. Super satisfying if, like me, you enjoy organisation or fall anywhere on the OCD spectrum. The simple presentation and relaxing score added to the charm.

Every player will develop their own organisational system. In the beginning, I intended to group stock by colour, but found this system fell apart as floor space became scarcer and colours started overlapping. By the end, my layout was a convoluted mess that could only have made sense to its creator. A bit like my local Woolworth’s.

I remember taking a break from the game for a few days midway through a playthrough. When I returned to it, I struggled to remember the specifics of my system. I was just flying by the seat of my pants with a very intricate mental map.

All up, Wilmot’s Warehouse was a great little experience, both relaxing and stressful in turns. Its timed challenges really tested me but, overall, I remember it fondly. At this point, the AAA space is hilariously stale and risk averse. I’m thankful we have indies, where fun and innovation still prevail.

March

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon

Swinging from an 8-bit chandelier straight into your heart ♥

I’ve never played a Castlevania game, though the shadow of the series’ influence looms large over the industry even today. I wasn’t all that interested in Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon initially; I only started it because it was one of the few games that interested me in the meagre XCloud Preview Program selection. I’m glad I did, though, as I ended up enjoying it from beginning to end.

Its retro visuals and sound design were charming as all hell. The platforming was decidedly old school (it reminded me of Game Boy-era platformers), though less punishing. The challenge was tough but fair. Completing this game felt extremely rewarding and I look forward to spending more time with this series and its progenitor, Castlevania.

April

The Medium

Now with two times the tedium!

Bloober Team are a divisive studio, but I’ve always enjoyed their efforts. They’ve managed to carve out an interesting niche as a developer of cinematic horror walking sims. Their latest entry, The Medium, is a loving homage to the Silent Hill series. It also has the distinction of being the first true Xbox Series X exclusive.

This exclusivity is due to the game’s central gimmick: its dual worlds. The Medium renders its spirit and corporeal worlds simultaneously. Through the power of next-gen hardware (namely the lightning-fast SSD), players can swap between worlds instantaneously. This concept is technically ambitious and impressive to behold.

Beyond this, though, the game was fairly unremarkable. It’s very slow, the puzzles are rudimentary and the controls are cumbersome. While the story is engaging, I didn’t like the way the main character, Marianne, took every horrifying supernatural experience she faced in her stride. Why should I, the player, feel scared when my character is clearly comfortable in the face of the unknown?

Stranger Things Season 3: The Game

“Well, well! Who’s that hunky mess of pixels?”

A retro-throwback tie-in video game to a retro-throwback Netflix series. For what it was, this was a decently enjoyable co-op romp. It was a touch too long and its difficulty a bit uneven, but it was more enjoyable than most licensed games (that recent Space Jam brawler was particularly heinous).

The character profiles were utterly bizarre, though. In many instances, they barely resembled the character they were supposed to.

Undertale

Not gonna lie. Papyrus carries this game.

Continuing my trend of playing massively popular games way after the hype has subsided, I finally got around to playing the one-time indie cultural juggernaut, Undertale. I had my head in the sand when it came to this game and knew nothing about it. As such, my playthrough was pure and uninfluenced by the hype machine.

It’s hard to make up my mind about it. On one hand, its constant subversion of my expectations made for a wild, unpredictable (and often hilarious) ride. The writing and characters were genuinely hilarious.

Beyond that, though, I can’t help but feel a large part of the game’s appeal hinges on the novelty of upending long-standing gaming conventions. In one sense this is novel, but I bristle at the thought of being manipulated for the developer’s amusement.

The game sometimes feels like it’s jonesing to punish the player for taking actions that the medium, and even the game itself, has conditioned them to expect. You take an action that seems correct or appropriate, only to inadvertently offend an NPC and invite punishment. Consequently, the game feels over-reliant on trial and error gameplay. Following rote actions is bad. The player must unlearn decades of conditioning to enjoy and succeed at this game. Some will find this refreshing while others will find it unfair.

Beyond all that, the game has personality in spades and the OST is straight-up God Tier. While at first I felt punished for not immediately embarking on a pacifist journey, the charm of the experience soon won me over. The pacifist run was an interesting challenge.

May

Rain On Your Parade

Sorry! Wedding’s cancelled.

Fun presentation marred by sluggish controls and occasionally unclear objectives. I enjoyed drawing my cloud’s face and decorating him to my liking. I think I would’ve been more impressed with this if Donut County hadn’t already raised the bar in terms of what these irreverent point-and-click meme games can offer.

Rise of the Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider 11: Snow Way Out.

Rise of the Tomb Raider was a modest downgrade after the impeccable Tomb Raider (2013). While its story lacks the amazing supporting cast and emotional through-line of its predecessor, there is still a lot of fun and depth in this title.

The mechanics are extremely polished. The controls are intuitive, making movement a joy. The environments, particularly the snowy Siberia stages, are stunning and intricately detailed. Similarly, the voice acting is first rate, breathing life into an otherwise sterile story.

I didn’t particularly enjoy the transition to a larger open world format. The side content – save for the brilliant optional tombs – mostly entailed dull busywork. I wish they had stuck closer to the tighter format of the previous game. Overall, this is another solid entry in the reboot Tomb Raider series.

Games I Finished in 2020 – Part Two

Posted on February 1, 2021 by toconnell88

Click here to read Part One.

September

Forager

Then you’ve come to the right website, friend!

A 2D indie crafting/building/dungeon-crawler/adventure thing with charming pixel art and an addictive gameplay loop. Like Animal Crossing, Forager is a real slow burn. Tens of hours in, I was still discovering new areas, mechanics and secrets. This sense of discovery held my interest right to the end.

The endgame content was, however, a bit lacklustre. By the time I mopped up the final few achievements, the game had devolved into a monotonous grind. It’s a shame my lingering impressions are of frustration, but I’d still rate this game highly.

Tell Me Why

Beer and fishing D&Ms? 10/10.

A thoroughly enjoyable interactive drama/walking sim from the creators of Life is Strange. As in their past work, this game featured solid writing and interesting characters. I appreciated the shorter overall length and fast (weekly!) turnaround of episodes, as it gave the story greater momentum.

Tell Me Why was full of memorable sequences that employed simple, menial tasks to impart characterisation and develop relationships. These included taking inventory in a general store and a novel sequence where a character struggles to centre herself during a panic attack.

The puzzles were a mixed bag. A memorable one had me snooping through locked police records in search of clues, which required critical thinking and memorisation. I appreciated that the player was given agency here. On the other hand, the ‘Crafty Goblin’ riddles – puzzles with a fairy tale motif – were torturous and hindered the narrative momentum.

I played this game with my girlfriend. Though I was at the wheel, we considered it a collaborative experience. Much like when dissecting a TV show, we discussed where we thought the story was going, shared our impressions of characters and weighed in on the central mysteries, such as who the twins’ father was, what really happened on that fateful night, and which supporting characters were shady. This made the game even more enjoyable and had me anticipating each episode’s release.

Pre-release, a great deal of emphasis was paid to Tyler, one of gaming’s earliest and most prominent examples of trans representation. Tyler’s transition was handled with great care. This story wasn’t explicitly about Tyler’s identity; it was just a cool detail that informed his worldview.

I loved how all the small-town supporting characters navigated Tyler’s transition, something they clearly had no experience with. They wanted to understand and show support, but didn’t always have the right words. I felt this was a realistic portrayal of how such a situation would unfold. The awkward but well-intentioned interactions between, say, Tyler and Sam, or Tyler and Eddy were great.

I was also glad they refrained from including any transphobic antagonists. Not that transphobia isn’t worth exploring, but it was nice to see Tyler embraced and accepted as a regular townsperson. I think this is a great way to normalise LGBTQ+ people in media (making them an organic part of the world and community, rather than having the entire story pivot around their identity). Schitt’s Creek is another good example of this.

All up, Tell Me Why was an excellent addition to the Game Pass roster and further proof that Dontnod are the masters of this sort of interactive storytelling.

Juju

The Care Bears platformer no one asked for.

A short and colourful 2D platformer that plays like an homage to the Donkey Kong Country series (though without the palm-sweating difficulty!). Enjoyable, though fairly basic.

October

Dishonored

The Disgruntled Henchman Convention.

I’m usually too impatient for stealth games, but I made an exception for Dishonored, Arkane Studio’s much-lauded 2012 game. I was drawn to it because of its enduring cult status and the frequent comparisons it receives to Bioshock (I mean, I sort of get it, but not really).

While it fell a little short of my expectations, I still really enjoyed my time with this game. The sprawling, intricately designed levels are an amazing achievement and the freedom afforded to the player is staggering. With the number of tools and routes available, the sky is truly the limit in terms of how the player approaches their objectives. The story itself wasn’t anything remarkable, but the lore, world-building and environmental storytelling were really cool.

Definitely a great game deserving of its reputation. I look forward to playing the sequel eventually.

Tacoma

Fluorescent adolescents.

I started this solely for a Game Pass Quest. As such, I was all set to cash in my Reward points and bounce right off what I assumed was another hum-ho walking simulator. However, to my surprise, I was drawn in by the excellent writing and voice acting.

Tacoma is a uniquely told detective story set on a space station in the wake of a mysterious accident. As the investigator, you comb through holographic recordings left behind by missing crew members to determine what happened. There’s a certain voyeuristic pleasure in this as you’re afforded intimate glimpses into their lives. How they present in a group setting or professional capacity doesn’t always reflect how they feel inside or how they act when they think they’re alone. As such, you soon realise that more went on here than first meets the eye.

The story is presented out of order and with little context. I found piecing it all together very satisfying. There are all manners of twists, deceptions and engaging character moments. In fact, I was surprised how relatable it all felt considering the emphasis on advanced technology. I highly recommend this one.

Don’t Make Love

Warning! NSFW.

A peculiar text-based relationship game about two praying mantises on the precipice of a life-changing choice. Unique and thought-provoking, though really more of an interactive art project.

November

Assassin’s Creed

When you all accidentally buy the same Halloween costume.

I’d always been curious about this intimidatingly long-running series. After accumulating most of the series as Games with Gold giveaways, the time had finally come to dive in. I opted to start with the first entry, but heeded the warnings about it ageing poorly.

For the most part, I enjoyed this. The fluid controls (relative to other third-person action games; I know this entry is positively creaking compared to its successors), awe-inspiring sandbox vistas and fresh mechanics (relative to 2007!) made it fun to play. The story, which reframes historical events as part of an intricate, globe-spanning conspiracy, was super engaging and way ahead of its time.

Really, the only things that let it down were its drab colour palette (hope you like brown!), rudimentary combat system (basically a series of Quick Time Events) and the staggeringly repetitious objectives. However, even in this crude, embryonic state, it was clear to me that Assassin’s Creed was brimming with franchise potential.

Gears of War 4

Titanfalls of War.

A game I’m in two minds about. On one hand, Gears of War 4 was jaw-droppingly beautiful. The production values and general presentation were seriously impressive. I liked the decision to jump ahead in time after Gears of War 3 and revisit this world from the perspective of a new generation. Likewise, while the old characters don’t play too much of a role (outside of Marcus), they’re at least handled respectfully. It was neat seeing where they all ended up.

The controls feel fluid and refined to perfection. By now, the original Gears titles (at least the first two) feel stiff and clunky, but this entry is snappy and responsive, particularly with the leap to 60 frames per second. I can’t understate how much difference this makes to the moment-to-moment gameplay.

There were also cool-as-fuck set pieces that make you feel like you’re playing through the most high-octane action film ever created. One such example are the new windflares, complex environmental hazards that devastate the battlefield in real time.

Gears of Wars 4 introduces an entirely new cast. I liked most of them well enough, although this change also marked a dramatic shift in tone. Instead of being about jaded war veterans fighting for humanity’s survival, this game felt more like the coming-of-age adventure for quippy adolescents.

The campaign was laughably short and ended with next to no fanfare. It felt like they ran out of time and were forced to end the story at an arbitrary point. I suppose it’s better to be short and sweet than to overstay your welcome. Multiplayer has never reliably worked in Australia thanks to ass-backwards region-locked matchmaking, so I can’t really comment there.

The Walking Dead: A New Frontier

Even her stares can kill.

This was the first Xbox game I played through entirely from the comfort of my bed via streaming. I would chip away at it for half an hour or so before drifting off to sleep.

A New Frontier is, in everything but name, the third season of Telltale’s Walking Dead walking simulator series. While you no longer control long-time protagonist Clementine, she still features prominently in the story. You now engage with her from the perspective of ex-pro baseballer and uncle-turned-surrogate-dad Javier García.

I was initially sceptical of this change, but it turned out to just the shot in the arm the series needed. The series was beginning to feel a bit bogged down by Clementine’s history. For example, the second season strained believability in depicting a group of competent adults requesting advice and taking orders from a prepubescent girl. With this new approach, returning players get to meet Clementine anew. This version of her is less wide-eyed; she’s older, embittered, less trusting and utterly ruthless.

I won’t go on all day about this game, but I will say that I really enjoyed it.

Oceanhorn

Starring famed gaming icon Mink from the Saga of Celda series.

Oceanhorn is an isometric action-adventure game that draws obvious inspiration from the Legend of Zelda series (specifically, it plays like A Link to the Past with some Wind Waker window dressing). Its limitations are very apparent, which is understandable as it’s a port of a mobile game made many years ago on a shoestring budget. It has the appearance and scope of an old phone game, with shocking voice acting and sound mixing, and puzzles that are simple to a fault.

While it doesn’t reach the high standards regularly set by Nintendo, I still found Oceanhorn to be enjoyable and charming in its own way. There’s just something timeless about running around verdant fields slashing away at tall grass and deflecting attacks back at unsuspecting enemies. Controls are responsive and the art design is solid. I can’t give it many points for originality, but the game was clearly made by a passionate team with a reverence for Zelda.

December

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

Welcome to Vegetarianism.

This game was insane. I trialled it as an Epic Store freebie and liked it enough to buy the Amnesia collection on Xbox One. (Very average port, by the way. Abysmal load times.)

Unlike its predecessor Amnesia: Dark Descent, A Machine for Pigs sheds the survival elements to become a full-fledged puzzle game/walking simulator. As a newcomer to this series, I didn’t mind at all and was more so enthralled by the clever writing and incredible vocal performances. It tells the story of a father who wakes up amnesia-stricken to find his children are gone. What follows is a complex and harrowing tale of a brilliant man’s descent to madness.

The atmosphere is the true highlight of this game. Despite the limitations of its dated engine, the environments still drew me in and immersed me in this world, proving again that thoughtful art direction trumps technical ability any day. Scares were so infrequent that they really commanded your attention when they happened. The game’s monsters, the iconic Man-Pigs, are horrifying in both concept and design. Underrated gem.

Deconstructing My Favourite Songs of 2020

Posted on December 24, 2020 by toconnell88

The Strokes – At the Door

A sparse, powerful track about the dissolution of Julian Casablanca’s marriage. Yeah, Is This It is great and everything, but I believe this is the band’s masterpiece. Julian gives an electrifying vocal performance in which he has never sounded more vulnerable. The lyrics are raw and honest, and the hurt in his voice is palpable.

I can’t escape it.

Never gonna make it out of this in time.

I guess that’s just fine.

I’m not there quite yet.

My thoughts such a mess.

Like a little boy.

What you running from?

Run at the door.

Anyone home?

Have I lost it all?

Struck me like a chord.

I’m an ugly boy.

You begged me not to go.

Sinking like a stone.

Use me like an oar.

Get yourself to shore.

I can’t see beyond this wall.

We lost this game so many times before.

Sufjan Stevens – Video Game

In ‘Video Game’, the lead single from his 2020 release The Ascension, Sufjan Stevens offers an incisive critique of modern culture and a stark rejection of social media. The song is about working hard without seeking accolades and rewards, which, today, are often quantified by likes, followers, listeners and views.

I don’t want to be your personal Jesus.

I don’t want to live inside of that flame.

I don’t want to be the centre of the universe.

I don’t want to be a part of that shame.

Here, Sufjan rejects idol worship and the narcissistic impulses of celebrity culture.

I don’t care if everybody else is into it.

I don’t care if it’s a popular refrain.

I don’t want to be a puppet in a theatre.

I don’t want to play your video game.

He affirms the importance of honouring your values and not conforming simply because it’s the path of least resistance. Likening fame and online attention to a video game is very apt. Neither are real. They’re both about chasing dopamine hits and ephemeral highs.

I don’t want to be your Julius Caesar.

I don’t want it to go down that way.

Et tu, Twitter? Through this comparison, Sufjan is saying he doesn’t wish to be raised to a position of power or fame only to be back-stabbed by those closest to him (fickle music fans, in this context).

But in a way you gotta follow the procedure.

So go ahead and play your video game.

With this line, Sufjan is acknowledging that ‘playing the game’ is a reality he must abide to make a living as a professional musician. For Sufjan, ‘following the procedure’ means participating in the very promotional circus that he detests. The system is what it is, after all. However, he has at least resolved to engage with it in a healthy and professional manner.

Glass Animals – Dreamland

I’ve been fixated on this song all year. It’s the opening and title track for Glass Animals’ third full release. Interestingly, it serves as the album’s ‘table of contents’, with each line containing details that are expanded upon in later songs. I love this idea. However, the song also works on its own, outside of the context of the album.

‘Dreamland’ is all about reflection. Its themes feel universal, despite the lyrics being hyper specific to Dave Bayley’s own experiences. Instead of a linear narrative, Bayley uses kaleidoscopic imagery to convey memories swirling about in a person’s head.

Pulling down backstreets, deep in your head.

Slipping through dreamland, like a tourist.

An invitation to daydream. A call to introspection. I love this image: memories rendered as a bustling cityscape.

That first friend you had.

That worst thing you said.

That perfect moment.

That last tear you shed.

All you’ve done in bed.

All around your head.

Snapshots fly from a robust and full life, a life well-lived.

You’ve had too much of the digital love.

Per Dave Bayley, this line is about the internet and its effects on our relationships. It’s great for discovering things and making connections, but it also has the capacity to destroy a person’s mental health.

Make it feel like a movie you saw in your youth.

The song’s mission statement: chasing nostalgia, coveting a feeling from a formative time. I love how the seminal songs and movies from our youth serve as timestamps for our lives.

Make it feel like that song that just unopened you.

Permit me to be cheesy a moment. As a music lover, I deeply understand this feeling. Connecting with a song absolutely feels like being ‘unopened’. It’s miraculous how sound from a speaker can influence mood and perspective, and trigger an emotional response. The way Bayley distils this feeling into a single unassuming verb (‘unopened’) is impressive. The economy of his writing inspires me.

Without question, the darkest and most devastating pair of lines – the ones which, upon first listen, made my ears prick and shot a shiver through me – are these:

You were ten years old, holding hands in the classroom.

He had a gun on the first day of high school.

There’s a lot to extrapolate from such a charged pair of lines. They describe possibly the most pronounced and profound loss of innocence imaginable. Somehow, life contorted a childhood friend into a would-be school shooter. Unfathomably heavy.

You see Kodachrome.

You see pink and gold.

This person is retrospectively minded. They experience life through the lens of memory, with every sight processed and compartmentalised accordingly. Seeing in ‘pink and gold’ refers to looking back with rose-coloured glasses. Can a person this retrospective ever truly live in the moment?

You see Mulholland glow.

You see in airplane mode.

Here, Dave name-checks a formative movie reference (Lynch’s Mulholland Drive). By seeing in ‘Airplane Mode’, he refers to living without ‘distraction, filters and biases’. It’s another clever turn of phrase, as connected devices offer infinite ways to drive a person to distraction. Meanwhile, a device in ‘Airplane Mode’ has limited applications, permitting a purer, more singular focus.

You float in the pool where the soundtrack is canned.

You go ask your questions, like ‘What makes a man?’

Oh, it’s 2020, so it’s time to change that.

So you go make an album and call it Dreamland.

As the song draws to a close, Dave reflects on what masculinity means to him in today’s ever-changing cultural landscape. In the final line, he cheekily resolves to explore such questions in the creation of this very album.

HAIM – I Know Alone

I was lukewarm on HAIM’s second album, Something to Tell You, which skewed a bit Sheryl Crow-lite for my tastes. I missed the noisy guitars and funk-inspired grooves of Days Are Gone, which remains one of my favourite debut albums ever. Women in Music Pt. III is an excellent return to form and contains some of the Haim sisters’ strongest songwriting to date.

‘I Know Alone’ is my personal standout. The electronic elements set it apart from most of their discography. This track feels fresh and experimental – very Kid A-esque. It was produced by former Vampire Weekend member, Rostam (that band’s secret weapon). Danielle’s processed vocals sound synthetic and emotionally distant, yet the lyrics are raw, achingly personal.

This song details a crippling bout of depression. (I need to stop gravitating towards songs like this.)

Been a couple days since I’ve been out.

Calling all my friends, but they won’t pick up.

Found another room in a different place.

Sleeping through the day but I dream the same.

I don’t wanna give too much.

I don’t wanna feel at all.

Nights turn into days

that turn to grey.

Keep turning over.

Some things never grow.

I know alone,

like no one else does.

Days get slow, like counting cell towers on the road.

I know alone and I don’t wanna talk about it.

Friday hits and I feel like I’m wasting everybody’s time.

Now Sunday comes and they expect me to shine.

Pluralone – The Night Won’t Scare Me

Pluralone is the solo project of former Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist, Josh Klinghoffer. From what I’ve gleaned from interviews, Klinghoffer’s contributions and relentless work ethic weren’t particularly valued by the band. Despite ten years of touring and three releases, he was still, in reality, a glorified touring member, the lowest rung on the totem.

Maybe his dismissal from the band was all for the best, though, as Pluralone is a far better vehicle for Klinghoffer and a terrific showcase of his talents. ‘The Night Won’t Scare Me’ is a powerful piece of piano rock and a hopeful affirmation in the face of uncertainty. Very 2020.

The 1975 – I Think There’s Something You Should Know

A mellow house track about imposter syndrome. For me, this song effectively soundtracked our devastating winter lockdown. A bleak time deserves a bleak anthem.

I think there’s something you should know.

I don’t feel like myself, I’m not gonna lie.

I feel so seen and I can’t dream.

Sleeping terrifies me. Otherwise, I’m fine, see-

-saw back and forth, back on the door, back on the floor.

Please ignore me. I’m just feeling sorry for myself.

Feeling like someone, like somebody else, who don’t feel themself.

I really admire the vulnerability here. Matty Healy lays everything bare, effectively turning himself inside out and allowing the listener to probe his deepest insecurities. I relate to a lot of it. I don’t really like myself a lot of the time and feel similarly out of step with the modern world.

The whole song is brilliant but two particular lines stand out to me:

Paying for their wealth with their mental health.

This is the burden of the professional artist. As a songwriter, Matty’s literal livelihood involves working through painful personal issues and exploring the human condition. As a touring musician, he lives in a constant state of flux. I imagine feeling permanently displaced and unmoored can’t be good for one’s mental health and yet it’s literally how he makes his money. What a conundrum.

I’d like to meet myself and swap clothes.

What a great image. Here, Healy’s feelings of dissociation have figuratively dislocated him from his ‘real’ self. He’s become a separate entity entirely. No doubt the celebrity machine contributes greatly to this sense of depersonalisation. In my reading, he wants to find ‘himself’, the happy version, and swap clothes, swap places, swap realities with them.

The 1975 – Frail State of Mind

An agoraphobic’s anthem and another song with an unexpected resonance in 2020:

Go outside?

Seems unlikely.

This song is about depression and withdrawing from friends to spare them the burden.

I’m sorry that I missed your call.

I watched it ring.

“Don’t waste their time.”

I’ve always got a frail state of mind.

“Oh, boy, don’t cry.”

I’m sorry but I always get this way sometimes.

Oh, I’ll just leave.

I’ll save you time.

I’m sorry ’bout my frail state of mind.

Oh, what’s the vibe?

I wouldn’t know.

I’m normally in bed at this time.

You guys, go do your thing

and I’ll just leave at nine.

Don’t wanna bore you with my frail state of mind.

My Morning Jacket – Wasted

My Morning Jacket return after a painfully long hiatus. Well, kind of. Actually, these songs are leftovers from 2016’s The Waterfall sessions. Must have been a fruitful period for the band because these songs are just as potent as their predecessors.

I thought about highlighting the lead single, ‘Spinning My Wheels’, a reflective track about escaping a spell of complacency. In the end, though, it was impossible to overlook the mesmerising raucous rocker, ‘Wasted’. This loud, meandering masterpiece captures the intense energy of their live shows.

Goodnight Goodbye – Dad Dancing

A playful pop song about shaking off insecurities and inhibitions with a few drinks and having a boogie. Pretty much the logic I’m operating on whenever I go out. Some lyrical highlights:

Last night when I spilt my pint.

I kinda gave up, ooh, I kind gave up.

So I won’t go up to the bar.

It’s fine. I’ll take a vodka and lime.

My mind is made up, ooh, my mind is made up.

So I’ll stumble down to the bar.

Loving you is all I ever wanna do.

Some people looking as I steal the room.

I don’t care. We’re just having fun.

I’d be up for the chase, but I can’t stop dancing now.

Dad dancing, ohh, you’re dad dancing.

I’m taking my chances. I’m really good at dancing now.

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Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

Posted on October 4, 2020 by toconnell88

In my many years of apartment living, I’ve had neighbours that have ranged from great to terrible. I like to think of them as revolving cast members in some long-running sitcom (one that is well past its best years and, in all honesty, should’ve been cancelled years ago). I thought it might be fun (and cathartic) to reopen some old wounds and introduce you to some of these characters.

Art Students

One of my earliest experiences living out of home set the bar astronomically low. I was living in a ground-floor street-facing apartment in an area with a younger demographic. The neighbours, a pair of stoner art students, created a makeshift communal area right outside the building’s entrance (i.e. next to my bedroom window).

They would sit out there on this raggedy old couch drinking and smoking day in, day out – every day. On weekends they’d have half a dozen of their equally obnoxious friends over. All night they’d be shouting, laughing, blaring shit music and slamming the door as they came in and out of the building. It was hell. I’ve never slept worse.

The other tenants and I tried talking to them about it, but they didn’t care. I even called the cops on them once, which felt like an extreme and petty thing to do but, y’know, it’s difficult to function with long-term sleep deprivation. I especially hated having to engage with them every single time I left home.

The experience taught me the importance of standing up for myself when others try to take advantage… and to stay the fuck away from ground-floor, street-facing apartments!

The Clean Freak

In case I sound like some uptight buzzkill, this next entry – who is technically not a neighbour – should illustrate how I feel about the other end of the spectrum. Early on, I lived with a guy in his late twenties who also happened to be the apartment’s owner and landlord. As per his rules, I wasn’t allowed to watch his television in the communal living area and could only use the kitchen and dining area in the hours he’d designated.

According to his most extreme rule, I was expected to wipe down the shower and sink after every use with a cloth or squilgee. He was extremely anal about this. I thought this was excessive (surely regular scheduled cleans would suffice), but I indulged him as best as I could. It turned out my best wasn’t good enough, as he meekly confronted me about it on a few occasions, leading me into the bathroom to point out any stray droplets I’d missed.

As you might imagine, I didn’t stay here long. It was untenable. I generally consider myself clean and conscientious. The fact that he couldn’t cohabit with me, someone (relatively) sane and considerate, suggests shared living is probably not for him. Trust me, bro. There are far worse roommates out there…

Old Norma

Norma was my 90-year-old next-door neighbour at my last residence. She was very hard of hearing and, in my opinion, had no business living alone in a third-floor apartment. In my brief time living there, she almost set fire to her own place twice.

On one of these occasions, my girlfriend and I were the first responders. Her smoke alarm was going nuts, so we knocked on her door to see if she was all right. After a few minutes of persistent knocking, Norma finally answered. She looked completely overwhelmed and pleaded for us to make the noise stop.

Her apartment was filled with smoke so I beelined into the kitchen. There, I saw the stove had been left on and a saucepan sat abandoned on the heated element. I turned it off and threw open every window. The smoke alarm could not be silenced, so I grabbed a stool from my apartment and unplugged it. I also called one of her assisted-living nurses to let them know what had happened.

Norma was beyond grateful and engaged us in 40 minutes of circuitous conversation. I remember she misheard me when I told her my name and kept calling me ‘John’. She also tried to give us packets of biscuits as a thank-you. Funny lady.

Bye, Fence

Last year, a neighbour from the next building over drove through my back fence. I was sitting on the couch in my pyjamas when it happened. He wasn’t drunk or anything; he just had a lapse of concentration while pulling out of his garage.

He was extremely embarrassed and apologised profusely. To his credit, he took away all the debris himself and arranged to have the fence replaced within a few days. It was kind of annoying having strangers from the neighbouring building staring into my house for a few days, but, hey, I got a funny story out of it.

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Games I Finished in 2020 – Part One

Posted on August 29, 2020 by toconnell88

Real talk: the lockdown doldrums have hit hard for me this year. I haven’t seen any family or friends all year and I’ve left my suburb exactly twice since March. I really miss physical outlets like boxing and the gym, which kept my head on straight (though lately I’d even settle for a walk in the park without the mandatory mask).

I’ve come to dread going to the supermarket, where selfishness overwhelmingly pervades, and I envy my friends up north, for whom quarantining was a fun and brief novelty, and for whom life long ago returned to normal.

Through it all, gaming has been a necessary salve. It’s distracted me, offered challenges to overcome and allowed me to stay somewhat connected with others. Here are the games I’ve completed so far this year.

January

Untitled Goose Game

Feathered sock bandit!

Honk! Untitled Goose Game is a quirky stealth-based puzzle game that became a viral internet sensation on the strength of its vibrant art style and fresh premise (you’re a goose who harasses people!). It’s one of those rare meme games with actual substance.

At just a few hours long, Goose is small in scale, but it’s executed brilliantly. The controls are fluid and simple enough that even someone with limited gaming experience can have a good time. Just messing around as the goose is a joy unto itself. Experimenting with different actions is immensely satisfying and I enjoyed seeing the townsfolk react to my random acts of mischief.

The charming animations and outstanding soundtrack, which was woven meaningfully into the gameplay, made this an early highlight of the year. A true labour of love from Melbourne developer House-House.

February

Fable Heroes

An ice-cold misuse of the IP.

Fable Heroes is a simplistic, almost throwaway action hack-and-slash game set in the universe of the popular Xbox RPG series. Its elements of randomness make it a fitting party game that would no doubt come alive with four players. We played in two-player co-op and had a decent enough time with it.

Rather than going with the traditional Fable art style, Heroes employs this chibi pop-up book style. There was a novelty in seeing marionette versions of Albion’s greatest heroes and villains. Unfortunately, this game really needed an Xbox One X enhancement patch as the muddy resolution and visual clutter caused me to lose track of my character a lot.

This game was fine, but I’m glad Microsoft is no longer abusing the Fable licence with low-effort cash grabs. Here’s hoping the just-announced Fable 4 blows us all away.

Crash Bandicoot (Crash N Sane Trilogy)

What I expect it will say on my tombstone.

I was a Nintendo boy growing up, but I have clear memories of poring through gaming magazines, staring longingly at colourful screenshots of PlayStation’s signature platformer Crash Bandicoot. It took over two decades, but I finally got around to playing through Naughty Dog’s 1996 classic (via Vicarious Visions’ 2017 remaster).

Overall, I enjoyed it. The world and characters were full of personality. Crash himself is edgier than Mario but not as obnoxious as Nineties Sonic. The level design was memorable, with some awesome themed worlds and novel platforming gimmicks. And that sound it makes when you pick up a Wumpa Fruit? Satisfying.

My overwhelming impression, though – the thing that really stuck with me – was how annoyingly difficult it was. I know my way around tough platformers, having beaten most of the classics (early Mario, the Donkey Kong Country series, Banjo, Rayman, Shantae, Super Meat Boy, etc.), but this game had me pulling my hair out in a few spots.

After investigating, I discovered that this already-difficult game was actually made harder because the physics system used in this remaster doesn’t perfectly align with the heritage hitboxes. This makes it tough to judge precision jumps. Compounding this is the old-school limited lives system and sparingly placed checkpoints. The suspension bridge stages were a total shitshow, as were the endless labyrinths, ‘Castle Machinery’, ‘Slippery Climb’ and ‘Stormy Ascent’ (ugh). ‘Fumbling in the Dark’ was another aptly named thorn in my side.

I prevailed in the end, but I’d be lying if I said this game didn’t draw some colourful language out of me. I like tough platformers but don’t enjoy when that challenge is predicated on broken mechanics. Supposedly Cortex Strikes Back and Warped are a little fairer so I look forward to giving those a (Crash) bash soon.

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Poem: A Stroll in Strange Times

Posted on May 21, 2020 by toconnell88

Predawn,

the gentle hour.

A walk in stillness

through misted streets,

breath frozen on the air.

Funnelled by streetlight

down shadowed alleys,

under rustling canopies,

a full thermos

and a clear mind.

Descend wooden steps,

alive with fear;

a stream

trickles

from somewhere in the darkness.

The inevitability of daybreak.

Dappled light

hits the path.

Navigate puddles and snaking trails

as a fox watches from afar.

Emerge at a clearing,

a sumptuous vista.

The sunlight,

a kiss of vitality

on an icy morn.

Noticing small things:

the timbre of distant barking,

seasons evidenced in

leaves crunching underfoot,

industry peeking through a forested skyline.

Joggers abound,

new routines birthed by circumstance.

Weimaraners and collies

frolic in soggy fields;

their owners, together but apart.

When Life Denies You Lemons

Posted on May 3, 2020 by toconnell88

Following my fruit-related inspiration.

I’ve had the distinct displeasure of moving house five times in the last ten years. When I moved into my current place I was most excited about finally having a backyard (in Melbourne, that’s how you know you’ve made it). I fantasised about all the things I’d plant, the barbecues I’d host and the afternoons I’d wile away reading in the sun. (In reality, my lawn is eternally overgrown and I’ve killed more plants than I care to admit, but that’s beside the point…)

I was particularly taken with the lemon tree in the corner of my new yard. It was this wild, unkempt thing, a burst of life against drab bricks. It also held the unspoken promise of unlimited lemon wedges for my summertime Coronas. You’ve got to think big, y’know?

Though the tree bore no fruit, I figured it might with the next change of season. But one day, while forcing my Amish-style push mower through the tangle of weeds that constitutes my lawn, I made an unwelcome discovery. The tree, it turned out, was very unhealthy, its branches swollen and full of unsightly callouses. It had been commandeered by wasps, the assholes of the insect family. This was upsetting. I didn’t want this amazing tree suffering in silence.

Following some internet research and a quick consultation with my parents, I determined that gall wasps were the culprit. These Australian natives implant their eggs into the stems of citrus trees. Over time, the branches grow bulbous in response to the feeding larvae. (They’re effectively Xenomorphs from Alien. Where’s the nearest blowtorch?) The mature wasps make their French exit, leaving the tree irreversibly damaged and unable to bear fruit. What a shitty fate.

The best thing for the tree – and its only shot at producing fruit again – is to cut away the infected stems and start over. So, with that in mind, I bought a hacksaw and file and got to work. This was a big job, made bearable only by the pleasant citrus aroma. It was physically hard work; the tree was covered in ants (as was I, by extension); and I’m low-key terrified of bees and wasps, so being right up in their business was not ideal. Furthermore, the tree itself was covered in razor-sharp spikes. You better believe I impaled myself on those bad boys multiple times. All for the cause.

When all was said and done the tree stood stark and skeletal, a naked amputee. It dawned on me that I hadn’t thought to obtain the real estate’s permission before mutilating a tree that technically didn’t belong to me. With no guarantee it would grow back, I started worrying I’d made the wrong call. To ensure its best chance at survival, I bought a special citrus fertiliser and watered it religiously.

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Well, hope springs eternal as new growth eventually appeared. It was really gratifying to see the young buds unfurl and take shape (I see the appeal now, gardeners!). Over time, the tree grew back healthier and more vibrant than before. My property manager was sceptical at first but praised the initiative. I think she was just glad she didn’t have to lift a finger.

And my Corona Dream (not to be confused with the current “Corona” Nightmare)? For awhile, I resigned to the possibility the tree might never bear fruit again. However, I’m pleased to report that earlier this year, roughly eighteen months after I first brutalised him for love, Señor Citrus delivered his first lemon! The possums got to it first, of course, but I’m confident more will follow. I’ll take any victory I can get.

When life gives you lemons

Poem: I Haven’t Been Home in Awhile

Posted on May 2, 2020 by toconnell88

snowfall

I haven’t been home in awhile.

The walls are painted black and

the dog doesn’t recognise me.

The creaking floorboards portend disaster.

Did they always?

I fumble in darkness

through rooms once mapped to mind,

recalling our last embrace:

self-conscious and

cobwebbed in bitterness.

Snow is falling,

the warmth a passing

memory, but the mark on the stove remains

from the time I tried (and failed)

to ignite your world.

Spiders crawl the walls.

A fly in limbo, I am

battered by circumstance,

a breath trapped in the breast,

flung from haloed innocence.

A feeling:

the house doesn’t want me here,

but it’s where I belong.

Maybe I’ll stay awhile.

Maybe I’m already gone.

Games I Finished in 2019 – Part Two

Posted on April 26, 2020 by toconnell88

Click here to read Part One.

July

Rivals of Aether

I remember this episode of Street Sharks!

Growing up, I loved Super Smash Bros. Melee on the GameCube and always missed the series after migrating to Xbox (though Brawl and Smash 4 are pretty mediocre in my opinion; haven’t played Ultimate). I gave the free-to-play Brawlhalla a shot, but it didn’t gel with me. Rivals of Aether, however, is exactly my jam.

It’s ostensibly an indie version of Smash Bros. with pixel art and some wild original characters that feel like they were plucked from some Nineties Saturday morning cartoon. While not as feature rich as the series it imitates, Rivals is far better than you might think. The characters’ movesets a lot more complex and interesting than what’s offered in Smash. Some Rivals characters are insanely technical and mastering their mechanics is truly rewarding.

The controls are highly responsive, though the high skill ceiling makes it less accessible than Nintendo’s brawler. It seems to be aimed more at the esports crowd than casual audiences. That said, I still had a lot of casual fun with it. I just wish the Xbox version had a bigger online community.

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Games I Finished in 2019 – Part One

Posted on April 20, 2020 by toconnell88

It’s time for my annual-until-I-get-sick-of-doing-it retrospective on the games I completed in the previous year. This time it’s in two parts because I like to waffle.

January

Far Cry 3

Ah, the outside world. From the Before Times.

I’ve been curious about Far Cry 3 since playing through the fourth entry years ago on my brother’s recommendation. The tropical setting looked like a great place to spend 30 hours and I’d heard positive things about the charismatic villain, Vaas.

Far Cry 3 was a genuinely great time. The gameplay was super engaging, even coming at it some seven years after release. It’s basically a big, dumb action movie set in an inviting locale with hilarious physics and a fun array of vehicles and weapons to play with.

To my surprise, the story really grabbed me. In the beginning, protagonist Jason Brody is an entitled frat boy looking to partake in some consequence-free debauchery with his douchey friends (no doubt a commentary on how westerners treat South-East Asia like their personal playground). However, he soon discovers this lawless island has been seized by pirates and a drug-peddling militia. The pirate leader, Vaas, kidnaps his friends with the intent to extort ransom money. Jason narrowly escapes, aided by suspicious natives, and begins the insurmountable task of rescuing his friends.

Initially, Jason is driven to kill out of necessity, as it’s the only way for him to achieve his goal. However, he comes to realises he is naturally gifted at it and, over time, even develops a taste for it. When the gang eventually reunites, Jason’s friends are horrified by his disturbing new behaviour and attitude.

It’s not an especially deep story, but I loved Jason’s gradual descent into savagery. It’s a modern-day Heart of Darkness and I appreciated that the violence had thematic context. Like Vaas before him, Jason slowly surrenders his soul to the island. His transformation from selfish fratboy to ruthless killer suggests we all have an innate savagery waiting to be drawn out by the right circumstances. Pretty chilling stuff.

Star Wars Battlefront II

“Rad Leader standing by.”

Even after all the controversy I was determined to go into this blind and give it a fair shake. I genuinely think EA and Activision are a cancer on the industry with their cookie-cutter game design and egregious monetisation tactics. Star Wars Battlefront II looked to exemplify these flaws with early reports suggesting it would take a whopping 40 hours of grinding to unlock iconic Star Wars characters like Darth Vader. The idea here was to incentivise players to circumvent the grind (which the developers themselves had created) by encouraging them to buy in-game credits with real-world currency. Gross!

However, following an unprecedented internet shitstorm, ‘Good Guy’ EA rolled back this absurd monetisation model to ensure no facet of the game was ‘Pay to Win’. Two years later, the game has seen a lot of dev support and has virtually turned its abysmal reputation around.

So what did I make of it? Well, it’s beautiful to look at and authentically captures the spirit of Star Wars. Seriously, the production values are super-duper impressive and would’ve made my head explode if I’d played this as a kid. Instead of building off the previous generation of Star Wars Battlefront games, this one is basically a casualified sci-fi reskin of DICE’s other large-scale shooter property, Battlefield. Not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with that.

The biggest and most-touted new addition here was the single-player campaign. This tells the supposedly canon story of a group of Empire remnants trying to rebuild following their defeat at the end of Return of the Jedi. You play as hardened Imperial commander Iden Versio and some forgettable supporting characters. Playing as the villains was an interesting twist. I enjoyed learning about Imperial culture and was particularly interested to find there is honour in their ranks. Most Imperial troops believe they are doing something noble by stamping out rebels. They genuinely believe the Empire’s reign stabilises the galaxy and brings prosperity (a similar idea was presented in The Mandalorian). It was refreshing to see they weren’t all blind megalomaniacs.

Unfortunately, our protagonists quickly learn the error of their ways when the militant new Imperial leader starts destroying loyal systems to strike fear and reinforce the Empire’s might. Iden and co. have their predictable “Wait! We were the bad guys all along!” moment of realisation and the story devolves into the usual heroism fluff. I would have preferred if the game had shown the rise of the First Order (y’know, since Episode VII couldn’t be bothered doing that). As it is, this story is fairly inconsequential.

Gameplay wise, this campaign is fucking dull as dishwater. It’s just a string of pretty-but-lifeless gallery shootouts against thoroughly brain-dead enemies. There are a few scripted set pieces that exist solely to teach you about characters’ abilities. The whole campaign is an overlong tutorial. It’s the embodiment of beige with some nice window-dressing.

The multiplayer suite is a lot better. There’s small-scale deathmatches, large-scale wars with dynamic objectives, space battles and the fan servicey Heroes vs Villains mode, where you can mess around as your favourite Star Wars badass. I find all this moderately entertaining, if a bit simple. I’d rather play Halo, which has better maps, a much more interesting weapon sandbox and a more satisfying gameplay loop, but Battlefront 2 is fun if you want to switch off most of your faculties. The gunplay feels incredibly imprecise and never really gelled for me. Same with the movement and general physics. With such large-scale battles it sometimes feels like your individual contributions don’t matter, but at least this reduces the pressure to perform well (that’s what she said!).

My least favourite thing about this game is the Star Card system. Clearly, this system was engineered to encourage real-world spending until the devs hastily rejigged it. Every character you play as, from infantry to Jedis, must be levelled up to unlock buffs and abilities. The grind to do this is painstakingly slow, but you gotta do it if you expect to get anywhere in matches. In the beginning, you’re frail and have few tactical options. This means a player who’s played the game longer and unlocked better Star Cards will curb stomp newer players, even if those newer players outplay them in raw combat. There’s just no way to compete when the enemy has double the health and outputs more damage. I hate this system as it effectively creates an artificial skillgap, with new players assuming the role of lambs to the slaughter.

I feel like I’ve already wasted too many words on this game. It generally induces apathy in me. I can’t wait until EA’s exclusivity deal with Disney ends. I can’t think of two worse companies to oversee Star Wars…

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Poem: ‘The Balustrade’

Posted on April 4, 2020 by toconnell88

The world goes into stasis,

a riposte

to an insurmountable loss.

A panicked populace grapples

with a future that lays

beneath a foreboding sky.

The streets are quiet.

The national flag

flutters defiantly in the breeze.

My brain is

a city that never sleeps

and all my friends are words,

this week.

I tend to the cabbages in my head

as day again becomes night,

and wait against the balustrade,

a pigeon poised for flight.

Just Give Me Moments: A Retrospective on Bloc Party

Posted on October 17, 2019 by toconnell88

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Bloc Party’s music has soundtracked most of my adult life. At eighteen, my pre-clubbing ritual entailed a few drinks and a listen to Silent Alarm. At nineteen, I left home right as Bloc Party dropped A Weekend in the City, a concept album about city life. Intimacy was a candid deconstruction of an intense relationship, which I’ve had my share of, and the band’s latest release Hymns fittingly explores growing older and the search for inner peace.

They’ve all been relevant to me, but Weekend felt especially vital. That album captured the exotic wonder of city life and tackled some of the more alienating aspects of modern culture. At the time, it felt like the lyrics were personally addressing me. ‘Song for Clay’ is an anthem for a disaffected youth. The narrator of ‘The Prayer’ yearns for confidence and acceptance. ‘Uniform’ critiques conformity and the commodification of youth culture. ‘On’ examines the futility of escaping with substances. ‘Sunday’ captures the sense of renewal in a hungover morning. ‘Kreuzberg’ is a yearning for personal connection and highlights the dangers of conflating sex with true intimacy, while ‘SRXT’ explores the depths of a devastating depression (“A battle that lasts a lifetime, a fight that never ends”).

There’s plenty of catharsis in Bloc Party’s catalogue. In fact, this band has tunes to cover the entire emotional spectrum. It’s why I’ve amassed every recording, know virtually every lyric, and have been to four of their shows. I love and respect how sonically adventurous they are, how they reinvent themselves with each album (even though their most vocal fans would prefer they stayed in a box).

So, since I like to doggedly avoid cohesion or consistency with my blog content, I wanted to post my analysis of a few Bloc Party songs. These aren’t necessarily my definitive favourites, but they’re songs that mean a lot to me for one reason or another.

Let’s get lost in a forest.

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Art of Almost

reviews, rants, writing advice

Category Archives: Personal

Games I Completed in 2021 – Part One

Games I Finished in 2020 – Part Two

Click here to read Part One.

Deconstructing My Favourite Songs of 2020

Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

Games I Finished in 2020 – Part One

When Life Denies You Lemons

Poem: I Haven’t Been Home in Awhile

Games I Finished in 2019 – Part Two

Click here to read Part One.

Games I Finished in 2019 – Part One

Poem: ‘The Balustrade’

Just Give Me Moments: A Retrospective on Bloc Party