I wonder how much of it was due to my stubbornness, my selfishness, my pride, my ungratefulness? And how much of it was due to him?

My girl is turning 4 years old soon. That means it’s 5 years into marriage life. But at times, it does feels like there were more sad days than happy days. Yeah, my kids make me happy. But there gotta be more to marriage life than just kids? There gotta be more than just responsibilities.

I used to feel I’m beautiful, and that I was beautiful whenever I smiled. But honestly now I just don’t like taking photos as much already because I don’t feel or look beautiful already, not even when I smile. Sometimes, I need to practice smiling for photo to turn our nice. I just got uglier as time passes.

I’m wondering what is God’s purpose for all this? Am I rlly that terrible that there is so much for God to correct in me? Do I not deserve love or I am still not grateful enough? Am I greedy? Am I asking for too much?