July 22, 2019
The Extreme Theology of our Truth War should never be questioned—-neither should our methods of:
1. Flat out lies and manipulative double speak
2. Blatant Scripture Twisting
3. New & Direct Extra Biblical Revelation and Visions from God
4. Flat out intolerance for anyone who questions or challenges these “new” Extra Biblical Revelations and Visions that are supposedly from God.
When Brannon Howse lies and calls one of his fellow Conservatives a dupe and/or a secret undercover agent playing a part in some sort of a secret Marxist hidden agenda to destroy the American church—never question it. If Tim Challies quotes from G. K. Chesterton whom heretic Brian McLaren approves—never question it. If Eric Barger twists Scripture out of context to prove one of his points—never question it. When Phil Johnson via his boss defends the “Extra Revelation” of Premillenial Dispensationalism and secret Rapture teaching—never question it. When said believers question anyone who challenges Premillenial Dispensational Rapture belief—never question that either.
Do as we say but not as we do. Get it—got it—good because we told you so!
1 Comment | 
absolute truth, Big Brother, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, circular argument, Cult, cult of celebrity, Easy-Believism, Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries, Evil Emergent plots, heresy hunting, Hugh Jass, judging others for fun and profit, Lying for truth's sake, Never question, Peasants' Revolt, Phil Johnson, purposeless driven life, putting on a Puritan's mind!, Religious Police, scripture twisters, Submit unto Thy Governments!, take a stand, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, Tim Challies, Tim LaHaye, TRuth War, Uncategorized | Tagged: eric take a stand, Extreme Theology, Obey!, Protesting protesters, Protesting protestors, thinking is hard, Thought Police, Tought Police | 
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Posted by donjobson
May 9, 2019
TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.
We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:
Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.
His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck. His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide. His mouth was wide enough to show most of them. His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes. They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them. His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer. His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans. He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)
When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit. They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old. Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time. They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right. Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether. Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism. John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]
However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time. But there has been a change. It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all. Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound. Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.
It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels
Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.
————-Julia Bottomman, AP
1 Comment | Abomination Nation, Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Clarity, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, aliens/UFOs, Anabaptist heretics, Aperising Minsitries, Arm and Hand Disease, Arminians go to hell, Babylonian hordes, bananas for Jesus, Baptici hereticus, beards, Big Brother, Brian McLaren, Camp of the Apostates, can't you smell that smell?, Christian Research Network, Contemplative Prayer/Spirituality, Couches and Candles, dirty hippies!, Discerning the World, Discernment, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Discernmentalist United Against Social Justice, disease, Electric Boogie Boogaloo!, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Evil Emergent plots, False vs. True Converts, Freddies Coffee Bar, here wolfy wolfy, Herescope, heresy hunting, heretics/heresy, Lutherans aren't Calvinistic enough to be True Christians, Obamanation, Oh that smell, Olive Tree Ministries, Peasants' Revolt, Post-modern unbelievers, Pure Doctrines, purposeless driven life, putting on a Puritan's mind!, Research Robot Monkeys, Researchmentalism, Semi-Donatists, Semi-Novatianism, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, Supralapsarian, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, Uncategorized, Us vs. them! | Tagged: Aperising, apostasy alert, bigfoot, endangered species, hair, hell half acre, humor, pure, Puritans, Scientology | Permalink
Posted by donjobson
April 27, 2019
Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET. A Aperising Pictures Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker. Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.
Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!”
Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:
- Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
- Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
- WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.
Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.
This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.
Leave a Comment » | Absolutely Certain Truth, Aperising Minsitries, Apprising Ministries, Arminians go to hell, bible-believing, Brian McLaren, Buy me, celebrity, cult of celebrity, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, emergent, emerging church, Evil Emergent plots, GOIP Productions, GOIP Products, Ken Silva, Rick Warren, Rob Bell, The Conspiracy-Driven Church!, The good old days, The Terminator, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, torture is good!, Trance-formation, Transformations, Trinity Broadcast Network, Trolls for Jesus, TRuth War, Truthslayer approved / endorsed | Tagged: Anime, Aperising Pictures, Apprising Films, arsenal, entertainment....for truth, humor, Sheep and wolves, vampire, werewolves, wolves | Permalink
Posted by truthslayer
April 27, 2014
For our trusty discernmentalist readers…..more discernmentalism to come! We don’t apologize for being gone so long (we never have to apologize because we are never wrong)….we have been fighting for truth and consumerism. Stay tuned….
Leave a Comment » | Absolute Clarity, Apprising Ministries, Babylonian hordes, Bible-Based Tests, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, capitalism is biblical, Uncategorized | Tagged: apologetics, Discernment, parody, TakeAStand | Permalink
Posted by truthslayer
April 19, 2011
Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!
Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:
1 Comment | Abomination Nation, Absolute Biblical Truth, Babylonian hordes, Brian McLaren, Cast of Hair, Chad Holtz, Contemplative Prayer/Spirituality, Contenplative spirituality, Couches and Candles, Discerning the World, Dividing the Sheep and goats., Doug Pagitt, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Hindu Voodoo, Hip and Thigh, Hitler, John Macarthur, Mark Driscoll, Mike Morell, Mike Morrell, Post-modern, Post-modern unbelievers, Proof, purposeless driven life, Rob Bell, Roman Catholic, Seeker-Sensitive, Tony Jones, Uncategorized, Yoga | Tagged: A little leaven, hell best kept secret, man lovers from Mars, My ear itches!, repent, TRuth War | Permalink
Posted by donjobson
March 1, 2011
A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys
of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:
Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”
Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.
All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”
P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.
A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia
4 Comments | Always 1600's, Barthian heretics, Beliefnet.Com, Beliefnet.Con, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, Bull-horn Guy!, Calvinazis, Calvinazis vs. Armnianazis, Camp of the Apostates, Elect vs. non-Elect, Elitists, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Evil Emergent plots, False vs. True Converts, God is Hate and Wrath not love., God's Absolute Sovereign Wrath, Greg Boyd, John Macarthur, john piper, Left Behind, ODMafia, Post-modern, Post-modern unbelievers, Research Robot Monkeys, Rob Bell, Self righteous, Semi-Donatists, Semi-Novatianism, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, Semper 1600's, setting the standard, Sharon Whitley, sinners, so get over it!, Socialist False Gospel, sound bible teaching, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, Todd Friel/Wretched, Tony Jones, Ultra News Worthy, Uncategorized, Under attack!, universalism conspiracy exposed, war not love, Ways of the Master Discernmentalist, We are not bigots you reprobates., We are not idiots you reprobates., worldliness, worldly, WRATH not love | Tagged: Rob Bell, the Hard Truths of the Bible, TRuth War, wrath | Permalink
Posted by donjobson
January 6, 2011
7 Comments | Absolute Biblical Truth, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, Arminians go to hell, Brian McLaren, Calvinazis vs. Armnianazis, Complain/Rant, Conartists, Contempt, Degeneration, Disappointment, Dividing the Sheep and goats., Divisionism, False vs. True Converts, First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect, Gloom and dispair, God is Hate and Wrath not love., God's Absolute Sovereign Wrath, grace hating man lovers, Heresy Hunters, heresy hunting, heretics/heresy, hypocrisy, hypocrites, I*segesis, inspirational motivations, James White is always Right, James White tells the Absolute Truth, James White---"Rockstar", John Macarthur, judgemental, judging others for fun and profit, Ken Silva, Lutherans aren't Calvinistic enough to be True Christians, Lying for truth's sake, No, no-Grace To You Ministries, Penal Substitutionary Atonement, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, Sharon Whitley, sound bible teaching, Spiritual Terrorists, spread the hate, Synods of Dort, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, todd friel, Todd Friel/Wretched, Uncategorized | Tagged: Absolute Biblical Certitude, Biblically Speaking, man lovers from Mars, My ear itches!, repent, Self righteous, Solo Calvin, take a stand against, the Hard Truths of the Bible, TRuth War, Ways of the Master, wrath | Permalink
Posted by donjobson
September 30, 2010
“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp.
OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims: “Ken has done it again by melding his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.
Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:
Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:
“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”
By Ken Silva
HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…
NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP
KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN
Leave a Comment » | Abomination Nation, Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Clarity, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, aliens/UFOs, Aperising Minsitries, Apprising Ministries, Arm and Hand Disease, Arminians go to hell, Babylonian hordes, Backbone, balloonboy, Bible-Based Tests, bible-believing, BiblicalThought.com, Bibliolatry isn't idolatry, bow, Brandon Howse, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, Calvinazis, can't you smell that smell?, can't get enough of me, Deformata, Deformers, Degeneration, dirty hippies!, Discerning the World, Discernment, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Dividing the Sheep and goats., Divisional Ecumenism, Divisionism, Don Jobson and Truthslayer approved, Don't pay the ferryman!, Doomsday, God's Absolute Sovereign Wrath, God's Only Inerrant Party, Godzilla, GOIP Productions, GOIP Products, Imprecatory prayer, Uncategorized, watchdogs, Ways of the Master Discernmentalist, We are not bigots you reprobates., we are not like them!, We are not terrorists!, We are right because we are Right Wing!, We Are Robot Puppet Zombies On The Strings Of Our Angry Sovereign God Of Vengeful Wrath, We KNOW!, What Would John MacArthur Do?, worldly, WRATH not love, WWJMD?, Yapaknees | Tagged: Ken Silva, Ken Silva-related News!, man of God, My ear itches!, Self righteous, the Hard Truths of the Bible, TRuth War, Ways of the Master, Worldview Weekend, wrath | Permalink
Posted by donjobson
July 28, 2010
Since our partnership with McCarthy Ministries we have been hell-bent on detection of social gospelers, communists, closet commies, universal health-care enthusiasts and people who share their private possessions. Unfortunately far too often communist sympathizers go undetected or worse commie proselytizers are left to wander the streets and eat our food and drink our water. We are shocked and dismayed to find Take A Stand Ministries secretly promoting and peddling socialism while pretending to be a true bible believing ministry. It just makes me ill. It did not take us long to detect RED in his “Take A Stand” logo. He has secretly embedded his socialist message not in his heading but below it to throw off readers (ie to make them feel less threatened by his red faced secret socialist message, slowly undermining the gospel).
We can’t be fooled.
Don’t be fooled either. Remember if its red, its wrong!
Truthslayer
PS We have reason to believe that if Take A Stand is “red” they are likely Red Letter Christians and sympathetic to Emergings!
4 Comments | Brandon Howse, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, bumper stickers, Contempt, Counter-Discernmentalists, Deformers, Democrat, Department of Motorized Discernmentalism, Easy-Believism, emergent village, emerging church, Entertainment, Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries, Evil Emergent plots, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by truthslayer
July 2, 2010
I the mighty Truthslayer (defender of truth and all things pure) have been forced to stoop to the level of an ape to talk with a monkey. ODMafia fans, please do not shed too many tears for MY persecution, attacks and difficult questions posited by this “BIBLE MONKEY.” We are told that true truth warriors would be persecuted, EVEN martyrred for spurious and underhanded tricks by satan’s minions.
It just so happens that Bible Monkey is an avowed emergent….and we know that all emergents act, smell, talk and think the same way. That is why I know that Bible Monkey is another way of saying that he supports evolution. That’s right folks…Bible Monkey has stooped to an all time low and is secretly trying to bring evolution into the church (ie sinister plot uncovered and exposed). In these last days we are told that evildoers would come into the church and introduce bible monkeys and social justice.
We need to TAKE A STAND and fight back. Contact every mighty truth warrior ministry (Brannon Howse, Apprising, Take A Stand, Slice of Laodicea, Herescope, Discerning The World and more) today and let them know the truth. Get the word out! We need to stop this menace before it gets any worse!
It is possible that Bible Monkey may also be a Democrat (you heard it here first).
Truthslayer
PS I have no doubt that John Armstrong, Rob Bell and NT Wright likely support this heretical horde. Also note that we will have a DVD out next week to expose the evil plot against the church.
6 Comments | Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Clarity, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, Brian McLaren, bumper stickers, but it is really all about me!, Buy me, can't get enough of me, capitalism is biblical, Capitalism Only, Defemation, Elitists, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, entertainment....for truth, Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries, Essential/non-essential, Evil Emergent plots, Uncategorized | Permalink
Posted by truthslayer
DJ
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itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
truthslayer
Will Farel XV
itodyaso.wordpress.com 