Category: Faith



As I compose my thoughts over the past events of the couple of days; my mind churns through all the parts as one dissecting and separating as it goes. The Babylon that we live within has had its effect on many and there are few who understand this concept. So though I speak solid truth I also fear they believe me speaking in riddles. To some extent this would be a correct assumption. I do not feel the need to explain my thoughts much beyond that I am taking a Daniel Bible Study therefore go look it up. Oh how I wish they would muster to the call of our Lord, and find themselves armed within his armor and hold the sword given us by our choice to follow HIM. Funny how some things just have that effect on people. I call out now before leaving my house “Where is my sword?” Then promptly grab it as I would a coat to cover me from the cold. Although I do not battle as one would with a gun or even in a nice round of fisticuffs I have my sword and can battle down the enemy on swift terms if it is the will of God. I find strength in its weight upon my person and so carry it with a confidence I once lacked. I feel HIS strength in its binding and HIS wisdom is freely given to all as was the sacrifice of HIS son. I also find the enemy drawn close within the lines of our own camp and see much clearer now how so many have fallen away from the real truth and what it was meant to be.

Yes, sweet Babylon has all but lulled them into a sleepy captivity and is softly laying her chains about their necks. She is enticing and all the more so for her seductive words and reckless promises of all that is good but her words stop there. Her promises are emptier than the pond during drought and her words however sweet work much like sandpaper to wear away all defenses that we have put up. I myself have fallen many a time into her trap and narrowly although roughly I have survived to fight on and carry the message that lays (patiently for a time) within the bindings of a precious book-The BIBLE. Once captive does not simply mean forever a captive. You and I have a choice and God has the strength to bring us out as survivors of such enslavement.

Consider how and what you watch. Are you so immune to the nudeness in commercials that you simply do not notice the shear cutting they have upon our young. Who may not yet have a way to defend what should not be seen? Do you quake with rage at the immorality and spread of sexual and monetary desires as norm in our culture? Does nothing raise your blood to boiling over what our children are taught in school? Not to mention what is simple accepted as “TRUTH” or right and wrong. For so many centuries things have simply begun to twist in upon themselves especially our own excuses for such bad behavior. We excuse our outright crudeness with well “I’m not hurting any one”. Well you are wrong and so was I!!! The simple lust of it feeling right and powerful in our hands does not make it right. We are hurting others with our actions and our words and especially our excuses!! What was once not acceptable now flashes blatantly from the screens of our monitors and televisions in a show of wonderful “Sin”sations wrapped in a colorful ribbon of “ME FIRST”!

Let’s simply get back to the basics. God is first! There should be no excuses not to come through for HIM. We should not be to busy to put HIM first if we are then cut something off your schedule!!! Your relationship the personal one you are to have with your HOLY FATHER is second. Oh gee you’ll have to give up a game show so you can talk to HIM. Will that really be so bad? Third is a relationship with your spouse. How important are they to you? Do you show them they love acceptance and forgiveness GOD has shown you time and again? If the answer is no then maybe that should be on your to do list. Fourth on that list are your children. Their young impressionable minds are simple sponges and soak up everything from underwear commercials to the ads for bigger better toys not to mention such rude and disrespectful language. Are you training them in the way they are meant to be trained?

If you feel you need help don’t I REPEAT DON’T go out and buy a self help book. Those things just feed your ego saying aww you poor thing its ok that you messed up and you need to come first so don’t worry. You need to simply pick up your Bible! That is the best self help book you will ever get. There are a ton of examples of how to fix correct and train everything in your life. The Bible should be and is your first and last self help book. Will it take time? YES!! Is it worth the effort? Yes!!! However I can guarantee it will be all the difference between you and captivity. So draw a line in the dirt and decide where you stand. I will draw my sword and be ready in the advance charge when called to come through!! I do so hope to see you there.


I Ran Away From Church

I ran away from church yesterday. I wanted to just be with God. I ran from the buzzing children. I ran from the giggling teens. I ran from the eyes of adults. I ran from them all. I was filled to brim with anxiety. So I ran away from church.

I simply smiled and nodded as I slipped out the door. I waved at those coming in and turned to the trail just past the parking lot. I followed the trail about half way and stopped. I needed God. I needed the silence without interference. I simply needed time with God with out the eyes of others. I wanted and needed to talk to my father.

Overflowing emotions came from me as I spoke earnestly and without hesitation. I closed my eyes kneeled and prayed on that lone trail that led to the woods. I considered staying there until church was over. I was needed in the worship team. I was needed in Children’s Church to teach. I was needed for the planning party dinner after church. I had already taught the Sunday school children. I was needed in too many places. When all I needed was God.

So I prayed until a peace came. Then I stood and looking very carefully at the world I saw the beauty in that drafty cloudy day. I saw the colors that were panted from field to hilltop. I saw the calm pond, I heard the calls of animals. I began to praise God for all the wonderful things He had given me. As I slowly walked back to the building I was so needed in. I gave my thanks up to God as rain pours from the sky;my thanks poured from my heart. I was strengthened, I was calmed I was His.

To my children


The pills don’t kill the pain,

As the spams start again.

The tears fall silently as I cry,

physical torture why must I?

I have to endure

I’m told there is no cure!

Yet, I cry hidden in room

as the spasms hit BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!

My child walks in seeing a sight

I smile and say “I’ll be alright.”

She come to my side and holds my hand

She smiles and says “I’m now in the band”.

I’m thrilled for her achievement and so sorry ever so sorry

I can’t go and watch, I can barely walk

the pills don’t kill the pain

Yet, joy from my children fall from my eyes like rain.

So another day I endure

You see  there is no cure.

 

Yet my physical pain I make mute

I have Love to contribute!!!!


The Past: not an echo of the future!

A chilling truth-I can choose to let it go or continue to hold my anger within the walls of myself.

Where was I? I was on a road to destruction; self destruction. That was the path I had chosen to walk. I was too young and too angry with the world. I couldn’t look in a mirror with out seeing the tortures I had been through. I could hear the whispers and chanting of horrible things of who I was and what I would be become.

What will I choose? My life had began to change at a point that I am not fully aware of. I began to out grow the hate and anger. I was still very tortured and trying my best to hide behind anything that would stand in front of me. The only thing I wouldn’t hide from is a fight. I loved to fight I felt such freedom when the blows landed either on me or an opponent. I was not a strong person. I was weak and hid from love, from sincerity, from friendship. How can a strong person hide from things that seem so weak? That is the difference. Things of the world fighting and material are the weak things. Things such as love compassion and friendship are the strong things. They take the biggest risks to attain. They hurt the most when things go bad. They require a very strong person; they require forgiveness, acceptance and love.

Who was I? I was a shell of a person living for personal gain. I lived for a fight I ran from acceptance and love. I was a worldly person. I wanted the things that others had. No temptation was too great. I wanted to fit in; I wanted to be of the world. I refused the acceptance and love of others I didn’t need them. I needed things. I was searching earnestly for the next thing that would relieve the pain that would bring me satisfaction. I wanted to be alone and yet I could not find the peace or satisfaction I was looking for. Popularity was a mere game it made me sick. Drugs where so harsh they tried to kill me(without success). Desperation was a mutilation that I could no longer control. Death at this point was a welcome friend that had deserted me. I couldn’t drink enough to feel happy. I couldn’t pass out enough times to forget. The agony of it was that in all aspects of life I could not find who I wanted to be.

The Present: A Gift of Growth

Fascinating Fact: I only stop growing when I am defeated by my own thoughts.

Where am I? I find myself on a lone path of discovery. One I now chose to accept. I have indeed discovered love, acceptance, forgiveness and the seed of who I want to become. This is a long road to walk but I no longer face the dangers of it alone. I have God, my husband, my family, and my extended family those who are my brother’s and sister’s in Christ. First there were baby steps, I fell and at times fall still. I can accept the fact that I am a sinner. I am not perfect nor am I expected to be perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal; it is also a goal designed to set you up for failure. Failure is a very strong foothold to let into your life if you let it take priority over what you have accomplished.

What have I learned? I have learned the truth of God. I have learned to accept things and forgive past grievances. More importantly I have learned to forgive myself. I have learned to take failure as an opportunity to learn not a standard to hold me down in the muck. I have been taught that to love truly love I personally must accept that I have to let me (the true me) be seen. Now this doesn’t mean that I must shout from the roof tops my own sins or what I once was. NO! What I must shout is what I have become. I have become a child of God. I am not perfect and never will be and that in itself is ok. I do strive to let go, I do fall, I do accept responsibility of who I was. I realize it is ok to ask for help not handouts (there is a difference). I can admit when I have been wrong and I have the power through God to change and grow.

So, who am I now? I am a beloved daughter of God. I am a sinner. I am alive and free through Christ Jesus who died for me. I am a mother a daughter a wife, a lover, a doctor, a nurse, a student, a teacher, a child , an adult. I am a good person. I am LOVED!!! I am ACCEPTED!! I am becoming the beautiful creation as I was meant to be. I am finding peace, and I know that the world can only give me temporary things. My Father in heaven can, will, and does provide all I need (even correction). I am a pebble in the pond. Everything I have done has an affect on a person. Every person that I come in contact with is a pebble in my pond. Some are good, some bad. All have an affect on my life my view and at times future actions. I honestly admit I have pebbles that I would love to throw out; but if I did I would no longer be the person I am to become. I am no longer who I was; I am simply a possibility of the future.

My Future: Love and Acceptance

The Heart of the MATTER: I am only a pebble in the pond; but I will not leave the hearts in the world untouched.

Where will I go? That physical course is not set in stone. However, I know that wherever I go I will touch lives. It takes but a moment to touch a life. It takes a lifetime to have those moments add to something meaningfull, and change a course in the world.

What will I do? I will continue to grow in God. I will share HIS love. I will forgive as HE has forgiven me. I will leave a footprint in the sand and make waves of joy in my family. I will live truly live not as the world wants but as My Father has said. I admittedly will fall but I will get back up and I will stand. I will not give up nor accept defeat in the face of enemies for God is on my side and who can stand against me? No one.

Who shall I become? I shall become a strong woman; who upholds the love of God. I will be unafraid of shining. I will be strong enough to show all, I speak to; God’s love, and setting my Lamp upon a table; I will shine for God is the reason I will be who I become. I must remember the goal set forth and continue to grow, to love, accept and learn. Then my moments in other’s lives will be a joy not a sorrow. More importantly I will be me.

~KLK~

Tears


In the stillness of night;

I ponder and the words take flight,

They float they flutter and hover about

Hopes..Dreams;Fears..Tears a life without.

 

My Father I cry.. I plead.. I beg.. I sing..

YES I sing. Carrying all I have to bring;

My thankfulness.. My trust.. My love.. My Pain..

A prayer to God Falls from my lips like rain..

 

A saturating rain overflowing my soul . my heart..

A child with such a painful, angry hateful start;

My Hope I lay with my Dreams. I do not CRY!

I send them on the on the wings of a butterfly.

 

A calming peace surrounds me holds me tight.

Hushed sounds whisper a smoothly “it’s all right”

I hear my heart jump making an irregular thump;

Not of terror or fight; Yet, joy and peace slight bump.

 

A calling to my soul, a brush upon my hair,

HE”S here and wipes away the tears HE is  Strong enough to bear.

All the problems of my world are so small;

When placed in HIS loving hands I stand TALL.

~KLK~


A prayer to You

Is like morning dew

None is wasted or washed away

You hear every word I say….

Each time I seek You

My mind recalls a fresh spring dew

For all the You give

In Your ways I want to live…

Let me not walk in my past shame

For I am cleansed and blessed by Your Name

Let not a day pass that we do not speak

For Your love is what I seek…

As I walk down this road called life;

Let me not bother with daily strife..

Instead let me with You talk;

For You’re the center and know my walk…

In the storm or sunny days

Let me always give You my praise…

KLK

Wounded Heart


I said  prayer

In the still night air,

The tears I’ve cried, since you have died.

I said a prayer for me;

In long hours of night on bended knee.

That I would carry on your smile,

That I may go the extra mile.

That I would Love until I’m empty

That I would continue to live simply.

That I might share the gifts I have been given

That I can say I’m still here Live’n

Yet forward my thoughts do race

Things I’ve yet to face.

Knowing all the while

You came with me the extra mile.

Knowing in pain, upon my head your hand had lain.

Knowing with all my heart that you where there from the start.

Knowing no matter when your life was through I was better off having known you.

Understanding the lessons that you have taught,

Learning to live as I ought.

Yet the hardest thing is not having you here

Not see’n you, not sharing things with you dear.

So mighty God in all your Love

Accept my friend with a white dove.

Her pure heart, Her teaching me

Her caring hands, Her soul for thee.

And Father of all creation, help my wounded heart.

Pick me up, dust me off and help me start

To love as you love us

Amen in the name of Jesus.

BROKEN


Things buried deep into the depth of the dark wet ground. Things hidden’; things that should not be recalled things I thought once gone. They all come crashing through my fragile glass door that I had on my heart; the door that was bolted and locked for protection.

And here I stand watching in the mirror as the demons appear tearing at my ravaged body. Ripping and shredding my torn and bruised soul. The air burns to breathe, the light hurts to see. I know that it is all a dream but what happened to my peace that once held me. The love I bled out onto the ground for you? The miles I have walked in recovery are worthless at this moment in time.

Satan calls “You will never be well you will never be strong you cannot stop me you cannot stop my horde coming down upon the innocent. I shall plunder their frail souls; I shall take as the world is mine!! I will grab and grasp to get you back!! You shall not escape my demons who call to you haunting your dreams. You cannot STOP ME “: He laughs wildly at my poor shaken body my ravaged soul my breaking heart.

I know that what he says is true at least in part I alone cannot stop him.

“Father FATHER hear my voice calling in this dark night!!” weeping as the words are choked out of my body. “Father MERCY MERCY MERCY!!!!!!!!!” are the last gasps of air escaping from me.

I lay covered in light, weeping, as HE takes this broken bruised child in HIS arms. “Peace my child I am with you” as he breathes life into my soul once again “I have not forsaken you” as he gently rocks me. “Mercy my child, my princess, I have loved you from the start.” He whispers as he mends my heart again.

I a simple sinner unworthy of life; live again. I live for HIM. My battles are won by my Father. They are no longer mine. I will survive I will LOVE and I will share.

Galations 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”


How can we think of LOVE?

Without thanking God above?

He loves man HIS own creation;

He still loves men in every nation.

Who cam imagine that kind of LOVE,

Only God can encompass it

A love so pure, white as a dove

A peace so wonderful we sit and enjoy it.

Jesus came to bring peace

To set us free in salvation

His love through death did not cease

His gift of life is for every nation

Although it is His birth

We shall celebrate in December

He came for all the earth

And all year long His death we remember.

When we rise from water in His name

All old dies and we dont remain the same

Share His  love with all you know

In return God’s Love will grow.

Prayer


Prayer is a powerful tool that we have available to us at any given time. How wonderful to realize that before Jesus died; He stopped and prayed for us all and continues to pray for us today. He intercedes for us on even though we are such an imperfect race of people.

Prayer is part of our faith that He listens and answers. How much closer can you get to God than through prayer? When we spend time in prayer we are spending time with God. When all is dark in the world I have my own personal flashlight to see me through any storm that comes pounding upon my door. Prayer is my flashlight and it never fails. I may fail, and people may fail me but through prayer my Father never fails to hear my cry.

Jesus gave us many examples of prayer and what we should do when we pray. He found solitude for his prayers, and spoke openly with His Father. We only need to fallow the example laid before us in the Bible.

Such as the following:

  • 1 Thess 5:17; Pray without ceasing. (Just like breathing)
  • Psalm 5:3; lay your request before the Lord and wait in EXPECTATION!!
  • Psalm 88:13; early in the morning (make prayer your first breath of the day)
  • Matthew 6:5-15; the Lords prayer, along with what not to do. Remember FORGIVENESS!
  • Mark 1:35-38; Jesus went off alone to pray.
  • James 5:15-16; Pray with faith, confess your sins. These are only a few steps investigate see what you can find.

Challenge yourself to spend time in prayer with your Living Father. He will listen he will answer.

I try to keep a prayer journal (sometimes I don’t remember to write things down). This journal helps me record the needs of my family and my church family. I date the issues and when they are resolved I make a note of that. I can see like a chart how God is working in my life and those around me.  Like a woven tapestry we are all connected and when in faith we pray for one another, a beautiful bright rainbow of color begins to evolve in our lives.

I realize that there will be problems that we all must face; but we never have to face them alone. In Romans 5:1-11; I found the understanding for some of my own difficulties that I thought were not being answered. Verses 3&4 “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

The passage in Romans also helps me realize that at times I try to put God in a box with my prayers for what I want to happen. Guess what? God don’t work that way. So I shouldn’t pray that way either. Just because I can’t see the whole picture, or it looks upside down doesn’t mean He isn’t working; it simply means that I should carry on and be patient, waiting in expectation for what His hands will accomplish not what I can do with out Him. I suppose that is truly the point.

Forsaking All I Trust Him!!!! FAITH!!!

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started