Tag Archives: Writing Motivation

Cultivating Creative Companions on this Writing Journey.

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Lately, I am going back to writing books I have read many times. This morning I picked up “Page After Page” by Heather Sellers. So many lines and paragraphs underlined, so many notes scrawled in the margins.

I love this line:

“Writing is a dance with all those other books you’ve read and the ones you’re going to read.”

I’ve been reading a lot lately ever since I started a Social Media Fast. 100-200 pages a day. I can feel those words filling me, informing me, inspiring me.

I realize I am feeling a tad lonely on this writing journey. My old writing pals and groups have long since dispersed. I haven’t taken a class or workshop or retreat in person in a long time. And with the added seclusion from social media this month, I am missing those connections. Which is why I am finding myself drawn back to the books on writing that I devoured when I first started on this writing journey. Without a formal program to earn a BA or MFA, I turned to books to guide me. They still guide me.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Anything by Natalie Goldberg

“Still Writing” by Dani Shapiro

“Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott

Anything by Heather Sellers

If you feel loneliness on your creative path, how do you deal with it?

Turning on the Faucet.

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This quote from Louis L’Amour is exactly why I have been showing up every single day to write for over six years.

I don’t work on my current project every day. But I do manage to write something. And because of that practice, it is just a tiny bit easier to slide back into my novel.

Some days the words just trickle out. Drip, drip, drip. But even those days are worth it. Because I show up for the days when the writing is hard, I can then, sometimes experience days like today where the writing flows, gushing out of me, leading me more deeply into the story, to places I hadn’t planned and only discovered because I showed up.

Today I wrote 1097 words. I didn’t set a word count goal. I just showed up. And because I showed up, I learned so much more about one of my deeply troubled characters. I am emerging from this murky middle of the story. I am prepared to encounter another murky path but for now I am grateful that I stuck with it. Showing up daily allowed me to write my out of this one.

Today the words flowed. Tomorrow they my not. Either way, I will show up and write. Because if I don’t then there is no chance of the words dripping or flowing.

5 Ways I Beat Writer’s Block.

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First off, let me just say that I don’t necessarily believe in writer’s block. I believe in the ebb and flow of our creative energy. I believe that rest is just as important as being “productive.” Most of all, I believe that behind the block there is fear. Which is why we can’t shame ourselves through it or just muscle our way past it. It’s why I have learned to bring gentle compassion to myself and my writing.

Here is how I get myself writing when a part of me is resisting:

  1. I write something every single day. No quota. I just need to show up on the page in some way: morning pages, writing practice, whatever. I find that it’s like launching a rocket. It takes so much energy to launch it, but once it is in its orbit, it is easier to keep it moving. Same with my writing. It is easier to touch base with it in some way, big or small, every day than to take long breaks and then need to relaunch it all over again.
  2. I read something that inspires me. My current go-to is “Still Writing” by Dani Shapiro. Whenever I am feeling lost or stuck within my writing life, reading her book eases me back into my own writing.
  3. Writing practice. Just calling it “practice” takes some of the pressure off. I am not “Writing a Novel.” I am merely practicing my writing just as a ballet dancer or pianist practices their art forms.I keep a notebook filled with prompts on the inside cover so it is always readily available. I pick a topic, set the timer for 10 minutes and write. Just as we tell ourselves to exercise for just 5 or 10 minutes, usually we do it for longer once we get started. Often, I write longer or the prompt leads me into the territory of my novel and I continue writing after the timer has dinged. But if I don’t, that’s okay, too. At least I showed up to the page.
  4. I write about why I don’t want to write. It gets my hand moving. And I may learn something in the process. I may learn that I am stuck because I don’t know what happens next so then I brainstorm a bunch of possibilities. I may learn that I need to just skip ahead to the part where I do know what happens next. Again, it is just a way to get my hand moving.
  5. I use Anne Lamott’s 1-inch picture frame. I write a very small piece of a scene. Maybe I describe a room. Or the outfit a character is wearing. Or a gesture. Something concrete that includes sensory details.

How about you? What do you do when you want to write but part of you is resisting? Feel free to share in the comments or link to your own blog post.

5 Ways to let Autumn Inspire your Writing 

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~ Kim Haas ( a photo from a walk around the lake)

It’s the first day of October and I feel  little giddy.  This is my time. My time to begin the process of hunkering down, moving inward. It’s my natural state but I feel guilty for doing that in the spring and summer when it is so beautiful outside. But autumn and winter give me permission to to retreat indoors, retreat into my self. And it is when I retreat into my writing more deeply than other times of the year.

Here are 5 ways the autumn inspires my writing:

  1. Cozy fires and tea on chilly mornings. I sit in the nook in our living room and sip my tea, read books and write my morning pages. I let the quiet of the new day settle around me as I turn toward my writing.
  2. Autumn will always have that back-to-school vibe no matter how many years I’ve been out of school. It’s the time of year when I stock up on notebooks and pens. Just seeing all those empty pages waiting to be filled with the “breathings of my heart” is so inspiring.
  3. I have more energy and motivation to create change at this time of year than the new year. By January 1st, I am drained from the holidays and deep into wintering. The last thing I have energy for is resolutions and goals. But riding the back-to-school energy helps me to focus  and go deeper into my writing.
  4. I am more inclined to be outside at this time of year. I take more walks which helps me to untangle knots in my head, knots in my story. 
  5. Summer calls for a loose, fluid structure. By the time autumn arrives, I am ready to create a more contained structure that supports my body, my energy, my creativity. I set up a routine, a rhythm for my days that allows me to rest in the rhythm of my energy.

“The autumn harbors a certain emptiness that can leave us feeling exposed and a little raw, but it is also filled with possibility—a time when we, too, can strip down to a quiet essence of being and savor the simplicity.”

~ Banyan Botanicals

Bonus 6: There is definitely this sense of possibility in the air. Nature begins to pare down, giving me permission to do the same and to connect with the simplicity of the season. Within that simplicity, I find more room to wander in my imagination and translate those wanderings to the page.

Rethinking Using the Term “Inner A**hole.”

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Ever since watching the fabulous movie “Inside Out,” I often imagine the different parts of myself as they did. It helps me to communicate and connect with all my different parts. It’s not always pleasant. In fact, there is one part that I had begun referring to as my “Inner Asshole.” She’s the part that is always trying to get me to stop writing or stop submitting or telling me all the reasons it’s too late for me and on and on.

Thanks to a dear friend, I have reevaluated calling her that.

I recently posted on Instagram about feeling defeated and discouraged by seeing another post detailing all the work a writer has produced lately in addition to being a mom and working full-time. All during a pandemic. I mean…how? How is that possible? And why can’t I do that? Why can’t I finish my novels and submit them to agents and create my website and set up online course. I have plans. I have dreams. Why can’t I be productive like this writer?

I decided I wanted to be real about were I was at, not just share the shiny parts of my creative process:

People really seemed to identify with what I was feeling. Then I read this comment:

“If I might offer a different perspective on your “inner asshole”…

What I’ve learned is that those inner parts who push us/push our buttons generally are doing so because they are trying to protect us, have information for us, or have an unmet need. I wonder how it would feel to meet that inner asshole with curiosity and a genuine desire to understand where she’s coming from, what she knows, what’s driving her? It doesn’t mean you have to follow her directions. You can let her know with grace and understanding that while you appreciate her protection (or whatever she believes she is offering), you need to try to do things differently this time. Imo, pushing back against my inner critic feels like self-rejection and self-shame and it just doesn’t help me understand myself or move in the direction that I desire. For what it’s worth.”

That resonated so deeply with me. 

I thought I was claiming ownership of that part of me but calling it names is really just dismissive and nobody likes to be dismissed.

So, I did what I always do. I went to the page. I dialogued with that part of me. And it was enlightening.

I learned that by calling her an asshole, I made her want to take up less space and just be quiet. So I gave her all the space she needed on the page. 

I learned that getting rejections from agents and journals feels really bad to her and just triggers all the times we’ve been abandoned or rejected in our life. 

I learned that she dug her heels in even more when I called her names, really resisting what I want to do so that I would feel as bad as she did. 

It worked. I have been feeling really bad.

I wrote this as part of my response:

“Writing is my way of connecting to the world. If it only stay inside my notebooks or on files on my computer then it only feels half done. I didn’t follow through. And that makes me feel bad, bringing up stories of being lazy and a failure. I write so others know they aren’t alone just as I read to know I am not alone.

My words are gifts that move though me. They aren’t me. So any rejection is not a rejection of me—just of those words that moved though me at a particular moment in time.”

I feel a space has opened up within me.

A lightness where there used to be a heaviness.

Trust where there used to be resistance.

1,825 Days of Writing.

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I started this plan to write everyday using Jerry Seinfeld’s don’t-break-the-chain method back in 2016.

We are now in 2021 and even after the hardest year of my life, I did not break the chain. 

Not when the pandemic hit.

Not when our yoga studio has had to temporarily close.

Not when my husband was furloughed for six months.

Not when he took an earlier retirement than we had planned.

Not when we had to scramble and pay for own health insurance.

Not even when my BFF of 40 years died unexpectedly.

After 5 years of daily writing, it has become an integral part of my day. An integral part of who I am.

It’s how I know who I am, who I was, who I am becoming.

It’s how I process life.

It’s a practice. I write with the intention of just showing up. Of being present to this moment.

Writing daily keeps me tethered to something larger than myself, especially when I have felt so untethered this year.

Writing daily takes the decision out of writing. I don’t have to decide whether to write or not. I just write. 

Even though I haven’t written on my fiction as much as I want to, writing daily improves my craft. It improves my discipline. It connects me to my voice. 

When I made those first red “x’s” in all 365 squares I thought I could maybe continue it by filling in each triangle the “x” made. If I did that I will have written for 1,825 in a row. It was an admirable goal but I never ever thought I would actually follow through and do it.

But I did.

There’s the board. Completely filled.

I did it.

And now writing every day is as natural as breathing.

Write Every Damn Day- It’s Not Just a Hashtag Anymore.

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I started this board in 2016 to help me write every single day. (I got the idea from Jerry Seinfeld.)

While I had high hopes and high expectations for myself (always true at the start of a new year) I didn’t actually, truly believe that I would be able to write every day for a whole year much less almost 4 years!

But I have.

I wrote through the flu.

Through having my wisdom teeth pulled while I had the flu. That was a fun time!

I wrote on vacation.

I wrote when I was happy.

When I was sad.

Or anxious.’Or depressed.

Or enraged.

I wrote in my journals.

I wrote morning pages.

I wrote blog posts.

I wrote in my novel.

I wrote when I was motivated and when I didn’t want to write at all.

I wrote when I knew exactly what I wanted to write and when I had absolutely no idea what to write.

I wrote in the morning, the afternoon, at night.

I wrote at my desk, at the bookstore, at the coffeeshop, on the beach, on planes, in the car, on my yoga mat, on the deck, in bed.

I wrote alone and with others.

I wrote my way out of stories that had me all tangled up.

I wrote my way into myself.

Now, writing is no longer what I do. It is who I am. Writing is like breathing and reading. Non-negotiable.

#writeeverydamnday is no longer just a hashtag.

It’s an intricate, essential, sacred part of each and every one of my days.

 

 

Enough with Not Enough.

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I am always looking for topics to inspire my writing and specifically topics that ask me to inquire deeper into my own writing life. When I came across the Writing Contest: You Are Enough, hosted by the Positive Writer, I knew I had to explore it.

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Typewriter image found via Pinterest. I am enough found via Pinterest. Photos merged using Photos Merge.

Enough. It is a word that has haunted me for years. 

There is an entire advertising and marketing industry designed to make us feel like we don’t have enough, don’t do enough and aren’t (fill-in-the-blank) enough. Thin. Strong. Curvy. Blonde. Rich. Spiritual. 

I have especially felt this tug of not-enoughness in my writing. See, I didn’t go the traditional route, which I used to consider a hindrance but eventually came to see as a strength. I earned an Associate’s Degree in Fashion Illustration right out of high school. No general education courses. No literature classes. Just art.

I worked as a graphic designer for years which allowed me to eventually ease into a freelance career so that I could stay home and raise our two daughters. 

Along the way, I kept up with my own voracious reading and sporadic journaling. At some point I stumbled across a book called “The New Diary” by Tristine Rainier. It opened up a new way of journal writing that was more spontaneous, deeper and even (gasp) fun. I began filling up blank pages with my words.

The next turning point came when I discovered “Writing Down the Bones.” Just the title gave me goosebumps. I picked it up, stroking the image of ink spilling across the cover, already aware on some level that my life was about to change.

I began filling notebooks with what Natalie Goldberg called writing practice. Practice made it easier to approach. I wasn’t “writing.” I was practicing. I continued to practice and read. A lot. My work colleagues were used to seeing me with my nose in a book at lunch, usually a different book every couple of days. A friend finally commented that at this pace I’d soon run out of books to read and would have to start writing my own. Hmmmm… the seed was planted.

Once we were settled in Arizona, writing found me over and over again. I was fortunate enough to attend a week-ling retreat in New Mexico with Natalie Goldberg where I filled 3 notebooks in 7 days. I also discovered a fantastic program through the Phoenix YMCA called “Writer’s Voice.” They offered a “MothersWrite” class. It was a free, ten-week writing class that provided childcare. It was a lifesaver. A sanity saver. It allowed me to keep connected to that tenuous creative part of myself at a time when I felt stretched thin with the demands of motherhood. They also offered various creative writing classes as well as Master-level workshops that required you to submit work in order to be admitted. It took a long time for me to take the step of submitting my work but when I did I was accepted and attended an intense ten-week workshop with Elizabeth Evans and later, a second one with Simon Ortiz. Later I audited a fiction writing class with Melissa Pritchard at ASU. I always felt slightly out of place in these academic since I was usually the only one without any kind of four-year degree backing me up.

Over the years, I’ve considered going back to school to get that degree. Or maybe attend a low residency MFA program that would waive the Bachelor’s Degree. They’re out there. I’ve looked. But with two girls to help put through college, I really couldn’t justify the expense. It’s not like I want to teach at the college level. I want to write. Realistically, all I need is a pen, paper and if I’m lucky, a computer, all of which I have. I’m more envious of the experience of the MFA rather than the physical piece of paper. I salivate at the thought of immersing myself in writing for two years– eating, breathing, talking, dreaming books and writing. But really, my life can’t hold that right now. What it can hold is this: a writing group; occasional workshops; lots and lots of books; and lots and lots of writing.

Yoga has also played an essential role in my writing. As soon as I began to practice yoga, I saw the connection between the two. Both require me to show up, to meet myself where I am and to be present. I now teach 7 yoga classes a week including one I created that combines writing and yoga called “Poses, Pens + Inner Peace.”

Yoga has helped me cultivate a relationship with my mind. With my whole self, not just the shiny parts. It has helped me see beyond the veil of not-enoughness to the deep truth that I am more than enough exactly as I am.

As of today, I have filled dozens upon dozens of notebooks. I have written many short stories and even had a few published. I have a novel-in-stories that is complete and looking for an agent. I am deep into the third draft of another novel. Then there is the YA fantasy trilogy simmering as well as a memoir based on my journey with yoga and writing.

At the age of 54, “enough” has a totally different connotation. It is no longer a word I use to judge and bludgeon myself with. It has become a word that fills me with hope. With a sense of ease and grace.

I write every day. Some days I write more than others. And it is enough.

I show up to the blank page. And it is enough.

I read as much as I can. And it is enough.

I submit my novel and stories and essays. And it is enough.

I have created a life that not only makes space for writing but truly nurtures it. And that is more than enough.

Permission Granted.

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Remember being a child and needing to ask for permission for just about everything? To watch a show. Go out with friends. Have a snack. Stay up later. 

We needed permission to keep us safe. To help us learn to make choices that were good for us. And we looked for that permission from our parents, teachers and caregivers.

We looked for that permission outside of ourselves.

Often, we carry that permission-seeking well into our adulthood. I know I have.

I sometimes look to agents and contests to give me permission to be a writer. If that person out there sees something worthwhile in my work, then I must be a writer, right?

Wrong.

I am a writer because I write.

I am a writer because it is how I live in the world

It is how I inhabit this life.

It is how I process this being human.

I don’t need permission to call myself a writer.

I don’t need an agent or a publishing contract to call myself a writer.

I grant myself permission.

What do you need to grant yourself permission to do or be?

Maybe you need permission to :

To speak up.

To rest.

To not finish that book you started. (Seriously, let it go.)

To say no.

To say yes.

To go after a new dream.

To let an old dream go.

To accept an apology you never received.

To extend forgiveness to yourself.

To embrace your body as it is right now.

Whatever you need permission to do or be or say or believe, consider it granted.

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Image found via Pinterest.

(Feel free to share what you are granting permission for in the comments!)

How I Spend my Days.

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I have written something every day for the last 1,222 days.

I have meditated every day for the last 311 days.

Why to I keep track of these activities? It started as  a way to motivate myself to do the things I ket saying I wanted to do but somehow kept putting off doing. Taking a cue from Jerry Seinfeld, I created a yearly chart on a dry erase board and marked an “X” in each box every day I wrote. Seeing that chain of x’s created enough momentum that I didn’t want to break the chain.

Same with meditation. I use an app that keeps track of my sessions. It’s so encouraging and empowering to see the days add up.

As the days add up, I notice a shift. A shift in how I relate to myself, to the world, to my writing, to my thoughts.

As the days add up, I realize I am no longer longing to live the life I want to live, I am actually living it. As Annie Dillard says:

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