Tag Archives: period

CD 8!!?

Posted on by

I GOT MY PERIOD.

11acbzo

I got my period!

I did!

A little more than two months ago I was in my OBGYN office and she asked if I had had a postpartum period yet and I said no, I am still nursing.  She had me come in for an ultrasound just to check and make sure everything looked all right, and then after that said well you look fine so come to me when you’re finished nursing and we’ll get you on hormones and induce a period and yadda yadda.

She asked, do you ever get periods on your own?

I said, well, the only time I got regular cycles was when I was on a very low gl.yce.mic index diet and was exercising every day… I lost a bunch of weight and my cycle came back.

She said, well….???

Then I was angry and depressed for a couple of days, then went back on my super strict diet.  I’ve lost a few pounds.  I’ve started exercising every day.  And then, two months later, my cycle returned!

I am at my lowest weight I have seen since before I got pregnant.  I don’t remember what I weighed before I got pregnant so I won’t know exactly when I get back to that number but I do know what I weighed at my lowest since Apple and Banana were born, so that is my current target.

Smushy is still nursing twice a day though she doesn’t need it.  We skip it on Sunday mornings now so I can go to hot yoga while Mr. Brightside gets everyone up and feeds them pancakes (it’s much nicer for me not to be around for pancakes, also).  I think my body is holding onto weight while nursing.  I know I lost a bunch of weight after I stopped nursing last time, but that was also around the time that my thyroid started working better.

I did this same diet when I was tying to lose weight when we were trying to get pregnant the first time.  I couldn’t do phas.e 1 because I found it to be unhealthy and couldn’t get through a workout without getting light headed.  This time, after having done this diet before, and also having had ge.stat.tional di.abe.tes, I am more equipped to be on a strict low carb diet.  It was still hard for those two weeks and my stomach made crazy weird noises, but this time I got through it.

Also, remember how sad I was two weeks ago … Someone (compassionately) mentioned it could be my period, do I get regular periods, is there a chance?  I said, there’s no way for me to know!!!  I never get a period!!  So who knows what my hormones are doing!

Anyway, there you have it.  Diet and exercise for the win.

(And the fact that I am only now writing this one week after my period started shows you what life is like right now and how often I get to sit down to write!  Actually Apple is home sick right now but I’ve set him up with some paint and a gigantic piece of paper, and Smushy is asleep, so I can have a few minutes on the computer!!)

Around and around!

Posted on by

Guess what! Got my period today! March 5! Last period was Feb 5! THIS IS AMAZING. I don’t know if I ovulated because I wasn’t paying attention, but I am excited.

I am not excited to not be pregnant but I am excited that my cycles are starting to come regularly… Of course, I have no idea how long after ovulating this is, and I know my luteal phase is very short. Last month I tried not eating any soy during my luteal phase and I made it to 11 days… still not very long, but I guess longer than 6-8 days, which I remember last summer I was getting spotting at 7 days after ovulating and I believed so strongly it was implantation bleeding even though it didn’t stop.

For now we aren’t really TRYING, so I am not temping or paying attention other than marking down on the calendar when my periods start. Maybe in a couple of months I’ll think about temping and getting a progesterone cream or something like that. Right now I am still dealing with transitioning to suburban life, which isn’t like slipping into new shoes, or maybe it is if you bought shoes that need to be broken in a bit. So I am not feeling the urgency to get pregnant at the moment.

Also my kids have learned the word No in a big way, and are really becoming Toddlers With a Capital T. So yeah. Let’s … not rush right now.

It’s back!!!!

Posted on by

I got my period again!  Two weeks ago there were signs I was ovulating and I tried to remember the date so I could see if two weeks later it came and … it did!  I think I ovulated again!

My last period was probably anovulatory, it was the massive bleed from hellll.  The period before that I am pretty sure I ovulated.  So okay.  60 days from the last anovulatory cycle bleeding, I am bleeding again, seems normalish for now.  And signs of ovulation 2 weeks ago.

Woohoo!

Exciting ER Visit and Birth Control

Posted on by

This post is all about my period. I am graphic. Read at your own risk.

Thursday evening I saw some spotting and said to myself, YAY! Period again! I win the PCOS lottery! It’s only been 6 weeks since my last one!

Then it stopped.  No spotting.

Friday morning I saw another little bit of spotting.  And I was about to race around town with the babies and so I was like, what the hey, I am going to put in my diva cup, because if it turns into a period while I’m out I am not going to be able to easily come back in and take care of that.

When I came home from racing around lalala putting stuff away, getting ready for a bottle feeding, and I feel a gush.  I’m like, ugh, I must not have put the cup in correctly.

Nope.  My cup runneth over.

I dumped it out, put it back in, put on a big pad just in case.  Continued about my day.  An hour and a half later, another gush.  What the?  Why can’t I figure out how to put this in correctly?  Nope.  More runneth over-ing.

I start to freak out and I called my husband.  He told me to call my OB.  I called and when she called back she said that if it continues into the morning and I get any other symptoms I should go to the ER.

I started keeping track of the blood I was losing (thank you diva cup).  I was losing 0.5oz of blood every 1-2 hours.  This continued all night long and into the morning.  I couldn’t sleep at night, I was so worried something awful was going on, and we hadn’t established an emergency plan, we didn’t know who would take care of the babies if I had to go to the ER.  In the morning I stood up from lying down and got a serious head rush.  I had to go to the ER.  We had to find someone to take care of the babies.

I called around and got a twin mom friend to come watch them (she left her babies home with her husband).  I hastily wrote out our routine, Mr. Brightside prepped bottles, called a cab, I showered and changed my cup and pad twice.

This was not my first period after the babies were born.  If it was, I could explain it away.  I had a period 6 weeks ago.  My usual blood loss is 0.5oz every 10-12 hours.  This was 10-12x as much blood loss.  Plus some big clots.

My friend came over while the babies were still asleep and we got to the ER.  The timing was luckily PERFECT.  In the end I got an exam and the doctor gave me some info about “dysfunctional uterine bleeding” (aka, nothing is apparently really wrong, just a lot of blood).  We made it home in time to put the babies down for their nap.  My friend had gotten them up, changed them, given them a bottle, play time, and another bottle.  The timing could not have been better.

But still, I bleed.  I bleed and bleed.  It is starting to slow down.  I estimate I’ve lost 24-30oz of blood in two days.  That seems like a lot.  I took some prenatals I had leftover so I could have the iron, and also ate a bunch of eggs and we had hamburgers tonight.  I’m spending most of my time lying down or sitting down and I’m drinking a lot of water.

Dr. Smiles, my wonderful OB, has been communicating with me this whole time via email and I am going to go in this week for a pelvic ultrasound (hello, Wanda, I missed you) to make sure it’s not a polyp or fibroid or something else I’ve never had before.  And we’re going to talk about birth control.

Something feels so final-ish about birth control.  We do want to have more kids, and I know you can always stop taking birth control.  But something about it feels very absolute.  Like right now, even though we use protection, I could be pregnant each cycle (however long that is).  If we decided to start not-trying-not-preventing, we could just stop using protection and be all come-what-may about it.  But if I go on birth control it means that if we want to have another baby we have to Start Trying.  And I don’t know how long we would Try before going in for intervention again.

However, while I was on birth control, I was the most emotionally stable I’d ever been in my life, except for the 2nd trimester of pregnancy when I felt amazing and happy all the time.  My mood swings were very much dampened and I didn’t get as depressed.  So that would definitely be a good thing for me.  And I use the ring, which is the easiest and most fool-proof method for me, so it wouldn’t be a big deal to go back on.

And, of course, birth control suppresses the development of cysts, which is good for cysty ole me.

So yeah, assuming nothing worse is wrong with me, I’m probably going back on birth control.  Because waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to change your own diaper while your two babies sleep peacefully and silently is not something I want to do on a regular basis.

I got my period!

Posted on by

Which means I must have ovulated!

Yay!

This also explains why I stepped on the scale and mysteriously (disappointingly) I had gained 2lb in a week… must be period bloating, or so I am telling myself.

I get my period so infrequently that I have no tell tale signs.

I’m so excited.  Go oves!

Still feeling so hot, CD2

Posted on by

Well, my period came yesterday.  Today I think is my heavy flow day.  I say I think because I have the cup in so I only know when I check it twice a day (I ❤ the cup!)  Monday I’ll go in for monitoring and a new Femara prescription, and we’ll be off for another cycle.

Today at shul I played with a baby for a while and it was really nice.  She is the happiest baby on the planet.  She isn’t very loyal, though, she pretty much loves everyone in sight, so although I enjoy her affection I know I’m not special (hahaha).  I also learned that one of our shul friends is pregnant with their second, which is great.

This past week has been ridiculous, and it’s not quite over because my parents are visiting so I don’t get the whole weekend to be a shlub and totally wallow in sadness.  Sometimes I still get emotional about the BFN.  At the end of the amidah (the part during services where you pray individually) in the place where you can add your own whatever, I usually say what I’m thankful for and today I cried.  A little embarrassing but nobody noticed because my siddur (prayer book) was over my face (it’s how I always do that part).

Yesterday I was operating at max capacity.  You know, the point where you start to have tunnel vision and you can really only see exactly the task you’re working on, one thing at a time.  But things weren’t happening one at a time, of course.  I was closing up at work, picking up something for shul, calling my husband to make sure he printed my speech (oh yeah I gave the sermon today, on top of everything!), my parents showed up, my former supervisor called me with a potential full time art therapy job opportunity (but I had to act on it right away, so I had to write a cover letter and update my resume and send it immediately), and I had to get the house ready for Shabbat.  All in the same 30 minutes.  I think I grew extra arms.  But I couldn’t even create full sentences during that time, my mom called to say they were outside and I blubbered on the phone for a minute and then came outside, grabbed their suitcases and brought them in, leaving my mom to fend for herself in the hall (she has to go slowly with stairs) while my dad went to go find a parking space.

It all happened somehow, and then I sat down.

I’m still feeling overheated.  My BBT temp has dropped appropriately along with my period showing up, so I’m not emotionally conflicted about maybe I’m pregnant and all the tests were wrong.  But even with a lower BBT I am still boiling hot everywhere I go.  It’s really cold outside but I can’t stand to wear a scarf or hat.  I keep opening the windows in the house, much to everyone else’s dismay.

I put the baby in my lap as I sat on the floor and put my arms around her.  She sat there and sucked her thumb and looked at her mom, and I was like, yep, I could have one of these.

Maybe this is the month…

Ah ha…

Posted on by

Oh, here you are, Dread Pirate Roberts.

Well, last night it transitioned into a full period.  So I at least feel justified in believing it wasn’t a period all of that time.  Now I know what it would have felt like if it had transitioned earlier.  Holy moly it is a bad one, though.  At least now I can put in my cup!  ❤

Just in time for my blood pregnancy test this morning (ha).  I still have to go in to pick up some prescriptions and maybe get a moment with a doctor.  I think if our doctor says it’s ok we might try another cycle with the Femara, which would put us mid-cycle for our treatment planning appointment in January.  If not, then we’ll get a break I guess.  I don’t think I want a break right now, though.  Full steam ahead!

The new Dread Pirate Roberts

Posted on by

I myself am often surprised at life’s little quirks. See, what I told you before about saying “please” was true. It intrigued Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty. Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, “All right Westley, I’ve never had a valet, you can try if you’d like. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” Three years he said that. “Good night Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and I eventually became friends.
– The Princess Bride

My period is the new Dread Pirate Roberts.

Every night I go to sleep expecting a PERIOD in the morning.  I wake up with the same spotting.  Sometimes maybe a little more, but then it goes back to its normal mostly brown spotting with sometimes a little more here and there but not really.  The same that it’s been for 11 days now.  Good night, sleep well, I’ll most likely be there in the morning.

I mean, this is most likely a period that started at 4dpo.  But it’s hard to tell.  What if it was just spotting at 4dpo?  When did it transition into a period?  That’s the part that’s so frustrating.  Because now I’m at 15dpo and it is the same as it’s been since 4dpo.  I POAS this morning and it was negative.  So I’m like, okay, it’s probably a period.  But when did it become a period?  Is my LP really 4 days??

In August I started spotting at what I think was 9dpo.   I then proceeded to spot/have a period for almost 3 weeks.  In October I started spotting at 5dpo and officially called it a period at 9dpo when it was getting heavier.  I can’t remember what inspired me to believe that it was a period and not just spotting at that point.  I think I just knew it was over and went in to get an ultrasound (and CD2 bloods) at 10dpo to see what was up and they were like yep it’s a period, so I started this cycle.

I’ve spent more days with blood than without in the last month.  I don’t have enough junky underwear to get through this.  I need answers (and probably progesterone).  I’m having my blood test tomorrow and the HSG on Thursday.  I hope the bleeding stops.  If not… I don’t know what… can I punch my uterus in the face?

DEAR UTERUS:
JUST STOP BLEEDING.
THANKS!!!!!!
LOVE,
ROBIN.

All right I’m calling it

Posted on by

Tomorrow morning I’m calling the doctor to schedule the HSG.  At 5dpo this is definitely a period.  SUCKS.

But! I was sad tomorrow, today I’m feeling all right.  The problem is that it’s still so soon after I ovulated that I’m afraid to put in the Diva Cup JUST IN CASE.  But I wish I could put it in, because wearing pads makes me feel like I am changing my own diaper.  I kind of hate it so much.  The cup was a blessing when I started using it because it freed me from the world of disposable and leaky period supplies, and now when I have to go without it I feel really messy and uncomfortable.  I probably won’t make the switch until it gets really heavy, JUST IN CASE, which I guess goes to show you how seductive is that spider-web-silk-thin thread of hope.

The ad on my kindle is a plate of expensive fancy food.  Do you think my kindle reads minds?  Maybe it’s not sending me signs from the heavens but instead it is displaying what is on my mind?  KINDLE ARE YOU READING MY MIND?!!?!

Also what sucks is that next week is our staycation (or “baycation” because Mr. Brightside thinks “staycation” is dumb but it’s not a trip anywhere) and the HSG will be right in the middle of it.  Hooray.

Post-BFN delusions

Posted on by

OK I had the blood test on Friday and it came back negative.  But the spotting is still the same amount as its been, and the ultrasound showed a thick lining, and my temperature had dropped but now it’s back up.

I’m supposed to start Femara tomorrow but I am concerned:

1) That I might have been a little pregnant (HA!) and it didn’t show up somehow,

2) That I’m not really having a full period right now, and if I start Femara it will stop this spotting before my lining is shed, and if we do get pregnant next month the embryo will implant on “stale” lining,

3) That I might have somehow been a little pregnant, like fertilized egg pregnant but not implantation pregnant, on Friday, and Femara will cause birth defects, and then later I will find out and it will be a disaster.

It’s actually making me really nervous, all of these things.  I’m going to POAS again on Sunday just to allay my fears.  At this point I am not searching to be pregnant, I just don’t want to be pregnant and take Femara at the same time.  And I’m worried that somehow, magically, I am pregnant and it didn’t show up on the tests (because my body moves at a snail’s pace: he thought I would ovulate in 2 days and it took 4-5, my periods have been drawn out recently, etc) and I am going to mess up my baby with Femara.

I wouldn’t be as worried if this period seemed normal but it doesn’t.  The blood is weird, it is more liquidy, like regular blood and not menstrual blood.  I know exactly what my menstruation looks like because I use a Diva Cup so I can really tell if there’s something different.  It’s also really, really light, but heavy enough to be borderline classified as “period” but it could really go either way.  I told the doctor that and he didn’t seem concerned, but that doesn’t make me feel better.  I used to have light periods when I was on the nuva ring so I know what my periods look like when they’re really light, too, and this just feels weird.

I’m thinking of POAS Sunday and Monday, and planning to start Femara on Monday evening instead of Sunday evening.  If my period still doesn’t seem periody on Monday I will call the doctor and explain and see what he / she says (depending on who I get to talk to).

I don’t feel pregnant or different in any way, I am just worried.  And I thought I saw that very faint line, although now that I am searching it is very very likely that is an “evaporation line” … so I think taking another test on Sunday will make me feel better.

Yadda yadda yadda… is this going to happen every time I get a BFN??  I think I’m fine and then the next day I’m sure that I might somehow still be pregnant????  I know it’s delusional but I can’t shake it!