Monthly Archives: September 2008

Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine, Zombie Mother

Hi, Anna-Liza here. I guess that title could be taken a couple of ways.

Well, yes, I’m a mother who has been feeling more or less zombielike a lot of the time recently. Booty-shakin’ at the Kan’nal concert aside, I’ve been hitting the sack early and still not feeling especially rested. The bronchitis really kicked my ass, and it’s taking quite a while to recover, unfortunately.

But wait! you say. What about Zombie Son? We haven’t heard about him for a while! And you’re right. My son will be a zombie at Elitch Gardens again this year. One of the oddest things about that gig is the number of cute girls who want to give him their phone numbers. (He’s not allowed to take them. Ahem.) And the risk of getting hit by people he scares too well.

And he is apparently begetting other zombies. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. Geez. He’s my son, for goodness’ sake!

What I meant was, he’s getting otherwise perfectly normal people to play zombies, too. Well, I think they’re perfectly normal. Maybe not.

I’ve mentioned his biggest hobby is playing Airsoft. He and a couple of his friends have started running “Ops” (i.e. organized Airsoft games) together, usually using fairly elaborate storylines, props, and special effects. Last weekend, they ran a zombie op, a night game, at a private Airsoft field which has an old house and an old barn on it. The main group of players were “normal”, and there was a smaller group (initially) of zombies. The normals were defending the house and the zombies were trying to get at them. Pretty usual scenario, no?

So Zombie Son’s script, which only a very few players knew, had a point at which the “generator” would “fail” due to running out of gas, and someone would have to bravely venture out to get the “gas” and restart the “generator”. At the proper time, at which point the defenders were holding their own, suddenly the lights flickered and went out. Zombie Son said, “When the lights went out, there was a solid three seconds of absolute silence. Then the screaming started.”

These were all grown men, folks. Some of them in their 40s and over. Some with military experience. Screaming because the zombies were coming. Because they had gotten so completely into my son’s story.

You should have seen the grin on his face while he was telling me about it. He knows what will make me laugh.

So. Proud.

Pollyanna Ain’t Goin’ to Jump This shark!

Pollyanna versus the Cleaning Obsession of Doom

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Lyda here. Despite my best intentions, I didn’t spend this weekend catching up on your blogs and leaving funny and/or wise comments. Sorry! It’s on my list! I didn’t spend the weekend happily stitching away on the Jungle Quilt, either. Bummer.

And I didn’t spend the weekend with Oded Fehr.

Words cannot express the depth of my sorrow.

Edited to add: Some of you don’t know who Oded Fehr is. I keep forgetting that Anna-Liza doesn’t see many movies. At least, not many that involve the undead or massive explosions. Having young kids will do that to a woman. But I thought I’d mentioned him before. I certainly think about him a lot. In fact, I’m thinking about him right now…

Oops. I digress…

Oded Fehr played gorgeous good guy Ardeth Bay in “The Mummy” (1999) and “The Mummy Returns” (2001), and hunky love interest and zombie exterminator Carlos in “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” (2004) and “Resident Evil: Extinction” (2007). Here’s a full listing of his films and TV show appearances.

And did I mention that he’s gorgeous? Oh, yeah. Maybe I did…

No, I spent the weekend battling the Incredibly Filthy House. Well, apartment. But “house” sounds better in that sentence. And beauty is truth, right? But I digress…

I had a long list of other things to do – including blogging – but instead, I decided that the kitchen was just too disgusting and needed intense cleaning. Perhaps it was because I’d been away, and Saturday morning was the first time in three weeks I’d seen the kitchen in the light of day. Scary, kids!

Or maybe my cleaning obsession just kicked into high gear again. Ya think?

I know, I know. By most people’s standards, the kitchen wasn’t “filthy”. We always put food away, and I can’t go to sleep with dishes in the sink – due to a scarring but funny incident in my youth that I’ll tell ya’ll about some time – and as ya’ll know, I’m allergic to clutter.

It certainly didn’t approach the level of crud dealt with on “Clean House” – much less “How Clean Is Your House?”

Have you seen those shows? Wow. Just wow. They make a person feel both better and worse about one’s own home. As in “At least my place isn’t that bad” – because no matter how bad your place is, there’s no way it’s that bad – and as in “They found WHAT growing in those bathroom pipes? Do I have that bacteria in my pipes too??” – because, ew! I did watch both programs pretty obsessively in my time away – Must. Get. Cable.– and that may have been a factor in my latest Extreme Cleaning: Home Edition. Because I never ever want those two English women to come to my house and test for bacteria, ya’ll.

I’d rather not know the names of my microscopic roommates. “Hi, I’m Fred, I’ll be your bacteria today.”

See how my mind works? All weird, all the time.

But I digress again…

Anyway, I scrubbed the kitchen literally from top to bottom. The molding where the kitchen walls meet the ceiling? Scrubbed. The floor? Scrubbed. Every surface in between? Scrubbed.

I finally had to stop to let the floor dry, and as soon as I sat on the couch Tommy the Sith Cat insisted that I stay put and resume my most important duty: being a cat bed. I didn’t have the heart to dislodge him, so I stayed put and watched TV.

Cat Forces Woman to Watch TV – Film at 11. More on what I watched in the next post.

So, what did I do Sunday, you ask?

Quilt? Knit? Blog? Take the day off?

Uh. I did mention I have a Cleaning Obsession?

Yup.

Sunday I scrubbed the bathroom, top to bottom. In my defense, I will say that my bathroom is old and prone to growing new and exotic forms of mold in unexpected places. The ceiling, for example.

Plus there are teenage boys in my house a lot. And we all know, boys are gross.

Your Honor, I continue to maintain that the bathroom needed scrubbing.

And after the scrubbing frenzy, I took a long hot indulgent shower, did some girly maintenance stuff, got dressed in my sexy jeans, and then…

Still no Oded.

And I’d put clean sheets on the bed and everything.

Just in case.

Ya’ll know.

So I ran some errands, picked up some Chinese takeout, and called it a day.

Just in case ya’ll are wondering, I do enjoy a clean house.

But not as much as I’d enjoy Oded.

Pollyanna Rocks Out

Pollyanna Ain’t Getting Any

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Lyda here. I just read this article on marriage… which linked to this article:

34 Reasons to Have Sex

Like we need a reason…

The article says sex helps “strengthen your core — it’s like Pilates without the annoyingly perfect instructor.” I know not of this Pilates of which you speak. Does it belong to that strange realm of “exercise”?

Another reason listed in the article is that sex helps “curb irritability”.

Well.

Dammit.

Now I’m really irritable.

Pollyanna Returns to the Light Side

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Lyda here. The Blog Light side, at least.

My virtual vacation is over at last. Now the truth can be told – we were actually staying at our friend’s house while the parents were off on their adventure. I was babysitting – if you can call it that when the boys in question are 8 and 17 – we’ll call them Soccer Dude and Alien Spy – and the Resident Sith Master and I shared dogsitting duties – News flash: dogs shed.

I took all kinds of projects with me, but didn’t get any of them done. Or even work on them. The only thing I did was a little KIP (knitting in public) at the soccer games both Saturdays. I didn’t make much project on the scarf I’m making for RSM – I’m not even done casting on, as it will be a long scarf and I’m casting on lengthwise again. I was mostly cheering on Soccer Dude. I had fun being Soccer Mom for a Day, but some of the parents had two or three kids in playing in soccer games. All soccer, all day long. I did not envy them.

I mostly watched TV and did endless amounts of laundry and tried to keep myself from overcleaning. Ya’ll have to understand – a whole new house just waiting to be scrubbed! I know, I know, I’m one sick puppy. But I had to stop with cleaning out the frig – I spilled juice in it, so then I had to clean it, no really! – and sweeping the floors, because my knees decided to swell from going up and down the stairs.

It was fun hanging out with the boys – although I may have gotten a testosterone overdose – except that they were very difficult to feed. We had chicken at least four times – because they would both eat it and the accompanying side dishes. As long as it was mashed potatoes. I don’t think either of the boys ate a non-brown vegetable the whole time, although I managed to get some juice into the younger one.

RSM gamely went along with it all (heh, gamely, get it?) but he has decreed this week a chicken-free zone.

Sunday night, the parents came home and RSM and I returned to our own lair.

I loved exploring the cable channels. And the large shower with endless hot water was luxurious. Also, I got paid, which will put some desperately-needed new tires on the car.

But sleeping in my own bed with my own cat on my head?

That’s luxury.

Pollyanna Flashes Back

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Anna-Liza here. I recently ran across a little bit of writing from the time, not so long ago, that we had a family bed. Lyda thought it was funny, so here’s a little Pollyanna Slice of Recent History.

Mr. B, my toddler, has suggestions for other cosleeping toddlers for when they can’t sleep at night and get bored. Here are his ideas:

“Most of these games have the goal of waking up mama, or keeping her awake and entertaining for as long as possible. It’s really funny when she makes those noises! So try these:

–sing “mama mama mama mom mom mommy mama” while gently pinching her tummy repeatedly. Poking is an alternative.

–gently place your finger in her nose.

–climb on top of her and bounce up and down, singing “bouncy, bouncy, bouncy”

–gallop your hard plastic toy horse across her face.

–lose your toy horse and then say “Horse? Horse? Horse?” over and over until she wakes up and finds it for you.

–blow raspberries on her tummy. *Caution* this one might make her flail around and hit Daddy for teaching you to do this. Be careful not to get between them.

Have lots of fun! Mommies are funny when they’re sleepy! These work on Daddies, too, but you have to be a lot louder.”

Pollyanna Tries to Not Hack up a Lung

1 Reply

Hey there, Anna-Liza here.

I’ve pretty much done nothing but sleep, cough, and blow my nose for the last four days. The little cold that Mr. B brought home wasn’t so bad for him or for Darlin’ K, but it hit Mr. R and me pretty hard. Mr. R was home sick Monday and Tuesday. I started feeling bad while I was at work on Monday, and have been home all week since then.

Usually, I take a bunch of supplements and they’ll shorten a cold and lessen its severity. A few times, when I’ve caught it early enough and been fanatical very vigilant about taking my “stuff” right on time, I’ve even been able to avoid it altogether. But this time, I’d been fighting symptoms for a couple of weeks, not quite getting enough sleep, and then dealing with extra stress on top of it. Monday, when Mr. R went down, I forgot to pack my supplements with me when I went to work. By the end of the day I was feeling truly lousy!

I figured I’d be fine with a day or two to rest, but it turned into bronchitis. I finally dragged my ass to the doctor today (I was sleeping so much that I didn’t realize that maybe this was more serious than a cold until last night!) He prescribed an inhaler for daytime and codeine cough syrup at night. Side effects–the inhaler makes me a little jittery, and the syrup makes me groggy. Which is sort of the point, I guess–it’s meant to help me get more sleep instead of waking up sounding like a two-pack-a-day smoker every couple of hours. Oh, I guess that’s another “side effect”-Darlin’ K will be able to get more sleep, too!

Knitting? Not so much. I’d gotten some done on the Monkey socks, but I had to rip most of that out and start over. First, I’d done one too many repeats of the lace pattern on the leg, and then I hadn’t decreased on the heel flap. Although, even if I had, I would have had to rip back past it to fix the repeat problem.

The original pattern doesn’t call for a heel flap decrease, but I have sort of narrow heels and find things fit better when I do that. I’d made the notes on the pattern showing how I’d done it on the first sock, and then I ignored my own notes! I’m so smart — and so detail oriented! But now I’ve ripped back, have the proper number of repeats on the leg, and the heel flap has the right number of stitches for my modifications. But I haven’t knit all the way back to where I was when I discovered the mistakes. Really, I’ve been so wiped out that even simple knitting has just seemed like too much effort. I even had to sit down to make myself a sandwich for lunch! *fade in violin music*

However, I think it’s safe now for me to disclose one bit of gift knitting that I’ve finished. My friend Amy, from work, just had a baby–a little boy. And I made her the Devil Baby Blanket from Crazy Aunt Purl’s Drunk, Divorced, & Covered in Cat Hair. It’s a darn cute blanket, but frankly I got bogged down in the endless stockinette part. If I’d been making this for myself (to do which I have NO OCCASION! None! Ahem) I would never have gotten it done. You know what I mean, you’ve read my whining about it many times already. I love the look of simple stockinette sweaters and things with fancy edgings or a single, subtle, possibly off-center cable … but actually knitting it makes my brain numb. (Hence the Monkey socks). It also turned out rather … huge. Definitely not newborn size. In fact … well, here’s a picture:

My model is my dear friend Techieangel (that’s her Ravelry name). You may notice that the hood fits her head rather loosely, and that the tail falls below her knees. She’s nearly 6 feet tall, so you might say that it’s an ample blanket. Here’s another shot:

You may have noticed that she’s pregnant. She’s not the one this blanket was knit for, but I do have a little more gift knitting I’ll be showing you after her shower on Sunday. Assuming I make it! I really hope I do–I’m sick of being sick!

Speaking of the Monkey socks, have you seen the Fall Knitty.com yet? There’s some fun stuff in it–an Op Art baby blanket that makes me think of old Bugs Bunny cartoons (more stockinette! But with cool stripes!), a really interesting pattern for a large scarf or small shawl, and … well, there’s this sock pattern. And I’m feeling a little … obsessed. The thing is, it’s rated “extra spicy”, which is more advanced than I’ve tried yet. I’ve found the knitty.com rating system to be pretty accurate, so I’m a little worried. It says this pattern ” … provides the experienced knitter with a challenge … ”

I rate myself as an “adventurous intermediate” knitter. Will I be able to knit these without a mental breakdown? If so, will I be able to wear them before I’m checked into an old age home? They’re just so cool–I especially love the little double cable down the sides that splits at the heel gussett … could I be getting in over my head?

Or could this merely be yet another way for me to avoid finishing my WIPs and UFOs?

Um, don’t answer that.

Pollyanna Hacks Her Way Through the Jungle

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Lyda here. Just remembered, this is supposed to be a knitting and quilting blog.

Not much knitting lately. I was at a soccer game watching a friend’s son play and I took my knitting bag with me. Surprisingly, to me at least, I got involved in the game – I’m not much of a sports nut, but it was fun watching the third-graders play – plus, he scored! Awesome! So I got less done than I thought I would.

I did rip back what I had done on a scarf for the Resident Sith Master. I have less yarn than I thought, so I’ve decided that it will have gray on both sides and the red-and-black-flecked in the middle. Or possibly narrow stripes of both colors, but with gray on both sides. Because I have more gray yarn it will look better that way. Yeah.

In quilting news, I have been working on The Jungle Quilt for my grand-nephew. I’ve made 50 of the 100 nine-patch squares so far. It goes pretty fast when I’m watching TV. The only problem is that these are supposed to be 3 1/2″ square, and they aren’t. So I may have to cut the other pieces smaller, which is a pain since I already cut them – but otherwise the blocks won’t come together.

Then it will be on to the next part of the project – creating blocks with these squares and (currently 3 1/2″) squares of the print fabric. Then just alternating the blocks with the (currently 9 1/2″) squares of the animal print, and – presto! – quilt top.

Okay, maybe not presto. But let me keep my illusions, okay?

I was going to quilt around the animals in the large blocks – wouldn’t that be neat? – but this quilt may be tied instead. I need to get the quilts to the two grand-nephews before the cold hits in Texas. Or the baby graduates medical school. (His quilt was finished in July, the same month he was born in, remember the Patriotic Cowboy Quilt?).

Besides, I’ve got other projects in the works. Some kind of zombie quilt creation is in the planning stages, for instance.

Plus, a friend’s daughter cleaned out her stuff before heading off to college. Guess who got her fabric scraps and bits of trim and lace and such?

Bwahahahaha!

This stuff will be awesome for a crazy quilt, which is definitely something I’ve been itching to try.

And there’s even some fabric with words, which ya’ll will remember I’m collecting for a word quilt.

Score!

Pollyanna and the Weirdness of Halloween

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Lyda here. Well, it’s the middle of September. High time to be getting ready for Halloween.

Ya’ll knew this was coming, didn’t you?

The Weirdness of Halloween – 2008 Edition

The first of many? Could be. Scary, kids!

1.) Europe’s last executed “witch” has been cleared – about damn time.

“She turned me into a newt.”

2.) It makes me happy that one can give delicious brains and intestines to children.

And pirate candy, Arrr, maties! They’ve got lots of pirate stuff.

And Blood Balls. Hey, I know what ya’ll are thinking.

Me too.

Twelve!

3.) I think I found the important part of my costume: the brain hat.

They have decor too. Although I think it’s weird that they have a picture of Marin‘s front door… or is it Red‘s?

4.) Hurry – it’s time to order your zombie hot sauce. Really. Click the link.

5.) And start creating your haunted house now. Here are some tips – 13, of course.

6.) This is very disturbing. Some of my Zombie Army aspires to pose for this magazine. Warning: That site contains some nudity and very weird pictures. I chose a link that doesn’t have nudity, or at least didn’t when I linked it, but still – this is not for work, kids, or anyone with delicate sensibilities… or good taste.

But at least all of the corpses are over 18.

7.) Join Lost Zombies. They can help you prepare for the zombie attacks that inevitably come on Halloween – when the zombies can blend in with the costumed living.

To help you fool the zombies into thinking you are one of them. I recommend the zombie restroom sign t-shirt.

8.) To get in the Halloween mood, what could be better than a horror movie marathon? Attend ScreamFestLA or your local equivalent.

9.) Or rent some classic horror movies. A whole post of suggestions coming soon.

10.) Why not invite some friends over to share the scary stuff?

Which reminds me. As the Fearless Leader of the Orange County CA Chapter of the Zombie Prom Date Knitters, I really need to have a Halloween zombie party, don’t I?

Ya’ll are all invited. Bring alcohol. And cake. And a hot man for me, please.

If you live too far away to come to my party (stupid Pointy Mountains!) have your own. Ask your guests to bring their favorite Halloween-themed snack.

Ya’ll know what the Zombie Army recommends: BRAIIIINSSSS…

If you don’t have any friends, you can have some of mine. And their victims food fans.

Pollyanna Rainbow Sunshine and the Needles of Doom

Fiber, craft, life, and random silliness