When Charlotte died, it brought a lot of hurt, tears and a lot of questions. I remember after my second child was born, she asked me, “Alice Evans,” as only she could say my name. She said, “Are you living or are you existing?” I didn’t get what she was saying at the time but this morning I could hear her voice asking that same question again. “Are you living or are you existing?” It’s funny what your mind goes back to when you are grieving. I told her after my girls are older I would start having more fun. Then it was after my children went off to college. Then it was after I helped with my grandbaby. I would tell, “My children need me.” But what I found in all these years living is, no matter how much love and support you give your children, they are still human beings and you are not their only influence. I have spent my entire life giving it away. I think I wanna keep the rest of it for me. Death is a tragic day if you haven’t lived. Thank you, Charlotte. For your whole life. (Alice Pratt in The Family that Preys)
Many people live in that small loop where their desires are always overshadowed by other things or people. Life is a routine of chasing after the bills, looking to fulfill some enduring commitment. Then when it’s all done, other things come up and overshadow the new found freedom and one has to look forward to the future for this elusive ease. Before you start living, your requiem mass is being read. A perfect definition of existing.
Alice Pratt (Alfre Woodard) succinctly says it above and Lee Ann Womack in her lovely song beautifully points to the choice.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You got your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small standing by the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance, I hope you dance,
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
And never settle for the path of least resistance,
Living might mean taking chances but they are worth taking,
Loving might be a mistake but it’s worth the making,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance, I hope you dance.
Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back at their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
(Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance)
Knacks and Knows of a Knave 