Paperback 979: Caught / Henry Green (Berkley BG472)

Paperback 979: Berkley Medallion BG472 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Caught
Author: Henry Green
Cover artist: photo

Estimated value: $30-50
Condition: 9/10

Best things about this cover:

• Major English author, sleaze-ified. I love when that happens.
• Get it? The net is because ... she's "caught." It's, like, a metaphor or something.
• This book is exquisite. A booksale steal. Belonged to a distinguished professor at Binghamton University (he signed his name inside—the only thing keeping this from a 10/10 condition rating)
• Armpits have their own tag on this blog. I am terribly proud of this.

Best things about this back cover:

•  LOL scare quotes. "'Caught,' see? We're speaking metaphorically."
• Look, if there's not an enmeshed naked dame involved, then I don't wanna know about it.
• Most pulp paperbacks are not blurbed by Christopher bleeping Isherwood.
• Just wanted to let you know that the teaser passage that precedes the title page of this book features this choice bit of prose: "She murmured to herself, 'THIS MAN'S MY GONDOLA...'" (emph. orig.)

Page 123~

"Now why, that's what we've got to consider," Pye heard as, in self defence, he let his eyes wander out to the cream yellow sunlight on the ungrowing, still winter grass. "Why," the voice came at him again, "Why? There must be a reason. That is where we want your help."

OK that is bleeping ominous. I really should read this guy.

~RP

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Paperback 896: Ecstasy Girl / Jack Woodford (Novel Library 2)

Paperback 896: Novel Library 2 (1st ptg, 1948)

Title: Ecstasy Girl
Author: Jack Woodford
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: ~$25

Best things about this cover:

• My armpits bring all the boys to the yard!
• Is that a cut-out or some kind of avant-garde necktie?
• "I'm hung down to here, baby." "Oh, Brad..."
• His hands are alarmingly tiny.

Best things about this back cover:

• I have decided that Handsome Gail Tanner's first name is Handsome so please don't tell me different.
• "Dropped an anatomic bomb!" That sounds both fun and grotesque.
• Ladies: if your earl does not provoke swoons, keep walking.

Page 123~

"Now, please, Miss Carter, please, don't excite yourself further." The station manager backed hastily away.

It's hard to back away hastily. You so often smash into things. Miss Carter's autoerotic adventures must have been truly startling.

~RP

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Paperback 817: Hero's Lust / Kermit Jaediker (Lion 156)

Paperback 817: Lion Books 156 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Hero's Lust
Author: Kermit Jaediker
Cover artist: Lou Marchetti

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• "The Quick Brown Fox wants you should shaddup!"
• That tie has a mind of its own.
• I like the puffy letters.
• Miss Axilla, 1953
• Seriously, though, she's pretty damned hot and I enjoy what she is wearing.  I can't recall seeing a top quite like that on paperback covers before. Spaghetti straps!

Best things about this back cover:

• OK, +1million points for the juxtaposition of "the City stank" with her armpit.
• Aw, I was sad to see the writer give up on the alliteration there in the first paragraph. I can think of at least one double-hard-C phrase that could substitute for "harlot's smile"...
• "Damnfool" is a first-rate adjective.

Page 123~

"No prostitute walks our streets."

The whole page is a delightfully delusional newspaper editorial.

~RP

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Paperback 791: Camera Club Model / James Harvey (Midwood F253)

Paperback 791: Midwood F253 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Camera Club Model
Author: James Harvey
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Armpit fetishists, you're in luck!
• Offscreen mystery hand preserves the modesty. I'm imagining the photographer of this picture directing the photographers *in* the picture: "Little to the right … down … perfect!"
• This is a great angle for the lower half of her body and a Terrible angle for everything else. It's all weird angles and lack of definition. Also, she looks like she's complaining about the fact that she's being arrested. Not sexy.
• Dude in background has mastered the perv-clutch hand position.
• I like how James Harvey is branching out in the kinds of models he is writing about.

Best things about this back cover:

• I prefer to take the big first word in isolation: SOMETHING! Such an intriguingly vague come-on.
• Needs to be a comma after "spotlight."
• I like how the first sentence tells us what we Just Saw On The Other Side Of This Book.
• "The odor of their combined lust" just killed mine.
• And the final bottom word, again, better in isolation. "Now let's try something really different. DIFFERENT!!!!!"

Page 123~

Betty went through her derriere poses. 

She took shadow puppetry to a whole new level.

~RP

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Paperback 748: Fair Prey / Will Duke (Graphic 142)

Paperback 748: Graphic 142 (PBO, 1956)

Title: Fair Prey
Author: Will Duke [pen name of William Campbell Gault]
Cover artist: Oliver Brabbins

Yours for: $22


Best things about this cover:

• Will duke for food.
• She is sporting some pretty serious shoulder muscle definition. 
• It's like fair play. Only it's prey. Get it?
• It's all kind of chaotic. Too crowded, too many things happening. Like some reality show where people compete to see who gets to be the actual cover subject. Dead man is very convincing, but the lady is going full axilla … that's going to be hard to beat. But wait, here comes a cop … with a drifter in his wake, trying to impede him … this is tough to call, Jim.

Best things about this back cover:

• Golf. Huh. Didn't see that coming.
• "Out of my way, baby. That breakfast buffet's calling my name."
• This is some pretty low-grade cover copy. I'm at least vaguely familiar with golf terminology, but … can you be "in" par? Is that a recognizable play on words, or just faux-sensational nonsense?

Page 123~

I remember the gulp and the moisture in my eyes, but I don't remember what I said. 

"The Gulp and the Moisture" was, of course, Norman Mailer's far, far less successful follow-up to "The Naked and the Dead."

~RP

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Paperback 722: Strange Longing / Orrie Hitt (Chariot Books CB-1626)

Paperback 722: Chariot Books CB-1626 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Strange Longing
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• This was also the cover for Axilla Fetishist Monthly (April 1963)
• One thing about saran wrap lingerie is: the itch.
• Man I wish the girl in the dark in the back ground were more in the light in the foreground.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Oh, don't mind me, I just wandered over to this side of the room and got tangled in the drapery somehow."
• Seriously, what is happening there?
• "Bunny soft"— I'm laughing quite hard right now.
• Ladies, if you really wanna sex up your bedroom patter, call it "the portals of the 'forbidden world'!"

Page 123~

"I don't do the kind of dances they'd want."
"Who cares about dancing? The men don't come inside the tent for that."
They got into another bottle of rye and Emily paraded around the room.

~RP

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Paperback 543: The Shame Sell / Alan Marshall (Ember Library 394)

Paperback 543: Ember Library 394 (PBO, 1967)

Title: The Shame Sell
Author: Alan Marshall (sometime pseudonym of Donald Westlake)
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $30

Best things about this cover:

• "Gee, putting together this new life-model kit is a blast!"
• "So, you're telling me the cup goes ... like this ... and it keeps those things on the front of your chest from bouncing so much? Wow."
• Seriously, he's putting that bra *on* to that girl, and he's even doing *that* wrong.
• "I call this painting 'Drunk Girl Airs Out Her Pits.'"
• Actually, I would call this painting "How To Ruin a Perfectly Good Picture of a Naked Woman." 1. Add creepy man-child. 2. have her do something inexplicable with her arms while making stupid drunk-face. 3. Replace pubic area with scary, uniformly black patch. Boner averted!

Best things about this back cover:

• "Who could believe the truth?" I'm guessing Not Me.
• Ah, the ad game. Oh, so the guy on the cover must be Dan Drooper from AMC's "Sad Men." 
• I hope the butterfly net is nonmetaphorical.

Page 123~

Jon sat back, rested his elbows on the arms of the swivel chair, tapped his fingers together, and eyed the ceiling. "C. F., the way I see it, it's time for you to escalate against Oona. The situation is peaking out, and so a certain accclimatizing seems to be in order."

Even the guy in the book replied, "A certain what?" Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go escalate against Oona ... *if* you know what I mean (do you? 'cause I don't)

~RP

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