Paperback 1066: Anton York, Immortal / Eando Binder (Belmont B50-627)

Paperback 1066: Belmont B50-627 (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: Anton York, Immortal

Author: Eando Binder (pseud. of Otto Binder)

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition :7/10

Value: $5-10

Best things about this cover:

• When your space nurse comes to give you your space shot ...
• Look out, space Indiana Jones! The space boulder! Behind you!
• Anton York, Lord of the Sparkle Wands!
• I love how everyone who designed anything in the '60s was high as fuck
• If "Eando Binder" seems an improbable name, get this: even more improbably, it was the pseudonym of two entirely different Binders: Earl Binder (born Hungary, 1904) and Otto Binder (born Michigan, 1911). Today, Otto's our guy.

Best things about this back cover:

• This is the future version of that Uncle Sam poster: "I Want You ... to be Immortal"
• OK, this is just the round part of the front cover art, boo, seen it, boo!
• What the hell is a "man of tomorrow"? When are "the dim future ages"? Why must this "man-made God" die? I guess I could read the book, but somehow the continuing adventures of Anton York, Space Dork are not tempting me

Page 123~

He was the living zombie of the hypno-beast.

If that's not the opening line of a '60s psychedelic rock song (or a '60s novelty song), I don't know what is

~RP

[Follow Pop Sensation on Instagram @popsensationpaperbacks] 

Paperback 1059: It Was The Day Of The Robot / Frank Belknap Long (Belmont 90-277)

Paperback 1059: Belmont 90-277 (PBO, 1963)

Title: It Was The Day Of The Robot

Author: Frank Belknap Long

Cover artist: uncredited

Condition: 8/10 (unread; crease across top, slightest of warps)

Value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• This looks less like a robot and more like some kind of novelty tent that the little men are having trouble setting up.
• If this book were a song, the title would be "(It Was The) Day Of The Robot"
• Writer, to publisher: "Well, here's my book. I call it: Day Of The Robot!" "Hmmm ... I mean, I *like* it, but I feel like it's missing something. Maybe we can spice it up a little. What if we called it: The Day Of The Robot!" "Well ... I guess a definite article does add spice, but ..." "No, no, wait! I've got it! It Was The Day Of The Robot!" "So like ... a full sentence?" "Yesssss!""I don't see how ... I mean, it's just more words, really, isn't it? It doesn't add-" "I think it really makes you feel, like, *there*, you know?" "I-" "Not just any day of the robot—THE day of the robot." "Again, I-" "Ooh, and does the robot vape? The robot should definitely be vaping. Very in, very now."
• It Was The Day Of The Robot That Vaped While Little Army Men Shot Sad Lasers At It
• Why does the robot have three legs? Oh god ... that is a leg, isn't it? ISN'T IT!?
• They shot him right in his left nipple. Rude.

Best things about this back cover:

• "MAN AGAINST MACHINE" ... that narrative used to hold such dramatic promise. The sad reality of Actual Future is that most MAN AGAINST MACHINE stuff is just me trying to get the ATM to work or struggling to get past those online dealies where I have to prove (to a robot!) that I am not ... a robot.
• Computers used to be enormous, and life was better that way. It just was. Computers should be ominous and threatening and two stories high and six blocks wide and they should beep and hum and churn out a steady stream of information on ticker tape or paper cards that have to be filed in a giant vault somewhere.
• He counted his strides? Such a weird detail. I mean, if it had been one or two long strides, I can see remembering, but six? 

Page 123~

Disillusion and rage had made them transfer their allegiance to me. I'd dragged a popular hero down from his pedestal and slugged him unconscious with the chain at his wrist. And I'd meshed his gears before he could score another victory in a contest of skill.

I like "meshed his gears" as a kind of all purpose phrase for beating someone up. So much nicer and colorful than "kicked his ass" or "fucked him up." In this case, I think the gears are probably literal, since it is, after all, The Day Of The Robot, but I think any time you soundly drub someone, physically or otherwise, you should try "meshed his gears" on for size. 

~RP

[Follow Pop Sensation on Twitter]

Paperback 1034: The Professor and the Co-Ed / Babette Hall (Belmont B50-786)

Paperback 1034: Belmont B50-786 (unknown ptg, 1967)

Title: The Profesor and the Co-Ed
Author: Babette Hall
Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $10

Best things about this cover:

• The Advanced Hugging seminar was beginning to take its toll on Steve's knees...
• "Oh Steve, I want ... I want ... something for these bare walls. A kitten poster, maybe? Oh, I wish I lived in a different dorm. Babette Hall is so drab!"
• I like how this cover subverts expectations by placing a generic dude's back where the Great Girl Art should be.
• I apparently own multiple editions of this book.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Don't look so frightened!" he shouted, terrifyingly
• "A child of sixteen?" I did not know they made "Co-Eds" that young.
• "The teacher in me" 1000x LOL that's what she said
• What is "the world's oldest predicament"? Prostitution? Pregnancy? Gym class?
• Ladies Home Journal with the fake blurb! "Could you give us a blurb?" "Uh ... would you accept an aphorism?"

Page 123~

At seventeen sixteen was a million miles away. Why, I could hardly remember it, principally because I didn't especially want to.

I gotta borrow this one. "You ate the last donut." "Did I? ... I don't remember?" "It was 10 minutes ago." "10 minutes ... it's like a million miles." "There's still powder on your face. And on your hands. Look at your hands." "I don't especially want to."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 990: Sugar Shannon / Adam Knight (Belmont Books 217)

Paperback 990: Belmont 217 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Sugar Shannon
Author: Adam Knight
Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 9/10
Estimated value: $20

Best things about this cover:

• I love this cover. Mostly I love that it's so ****ing purple, and then that the title is yellow and oddly placed. I also love her big, calmly intense eyes, and the way she cradles that gun lovingly between her breasts. Either this is a next-level sexy role-playing scenario, or someone is gonna get very murdered.
• I know when I go to rendezvous (-vouses?), my preferred method of travel is drifting.
• Series!? Here's the other Adam Knight book in the Pop Sensation archives—throwback! (2007).

Best things about this back cover:

• Scorching yellow!
• Tiny Shannon. That is a weird use of the front cover image.
• Wow, this passage and synopsis tell us ... nothing. It's boiler-plate, bot-written cover copy.

Page 123~

Serena's flat was a paradox. It screamed mediocrity, it stank of the buckeye in art and upholstery.

Don't know what it means, don't care what it means—but "it stank of the buckeye" is my new go-to judgment phrase.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 974: Escape to Earth / ed. Ivan Howard (Belmont L92-571)

Paperback 974: Belmont L92-571 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Escape to Earth
Editor: Ivan Howard
Cover artist: Ed Emshwiller ("emsh")
Designed by: Irving Bernstein

Estimated value: $15
Condition: 9/10

Best things about this cover:

• Love the "Barbarella" vibe on this one (though "Barbarella" is still several years in the future).
• This is late Emshwiller. Still great Emshwiller. Beautiful, decorative, intricate space-tech surfaces. Bottom half is not much to look at, but the top is lovely.
• Novelets! Is that how you spell that? Reminds me of when I first saw "cigaret" (Raymond Carver). Disorientingly defrenchified.
• Hilariously, Google dictionary flags "novelette" as "derogatory."

Best things about this back cover:

• I like the red-bordered spreadsheet look. Very early-80s / "Stranger Things"
• Hey, look!: credits not just for Emshwiller, but for the *designer* as well!? Why can't all books be this good about crediting the art people!?
• Manly Banister is the politest porn name.

Page 123~

[from "Temple of Despair" by M.C. Pease]

"You're dressed like a priest," Brandis said; "I don't want to get stoned."

One of the great out-of-context lines in Pop Sensation history.

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 659: The French Key / Frank Gruber (Belmont B75-2040)

Paperback 659: Belmont B75-2040 (1st thus, 1970)

Title: The French Key
Author: Frank Gruber
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• The Detective Had A Coin Torso! You'll Flip (!) For This Mystery!
• I believe this font is called "hyper-serif."
• See, here's the thing. There's really only one thing to say about this cover—more girl, less Captain Coin-Body.
• Frank Gruber was a prolific writer for pulp and paperback market. This book was originally published in 1939.

Best things about this back cover:

• Bah, the '60s continue to suck at all things book design.
• To its credit, this cover does have NUMISMATISTS!!!
• What will Johnny do with the blonde who says "I never tell the truth"? Careful, Johnny! It's a paradox!

Page 123~

Johnny dropped a coin on the counter and picked up a section of newspaper. He rolled the section of lead in the paper, gripped it at one end and smacked the other end into his palm.

The plumber grinned. "Oh, it's like that, huh?"

Dang. You do not want to disappoint Johnny with shoddy workmanship.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 301: Behind Every Door / Julius Horowitz (Belmont L522)

Paperback 301: Belmont L522 (1st ptg, 1961)

Title: Behind Every Door
Author: Julius Horowitz
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Wow, the cover painting looks cool. If they'd bother to make it bigger than a !@#$ing postage stamp, maybe I could appreciate it a little more.
• "Hey, baby, we're two tall, thin, cool people standing in the middle of the street ... the world is our oyster! What say we ..." / "I said 'twenty dollars,' mister"
• Remade 11 years later as "Behind the Green Door"
• Really, you're going to asterisk "The Way Between the Sexes" as something the N.Y. Times said. That's not a blurb, that's an arbitrary phrase capture.

Best things about this back cover:

• What's that title again? I forgot.
• "Guys who want to buy your pants ..." — I did not see that coming.
• "The real test is when you come up against your problem." — Words to live by, if your goal is to live as vaguely as possible.

Page 123~

He saw that these kids, the oldest of them only ten, had a vocabulary of definite opinions and many of their inculcated ideas were quite opposed to his own.

Two things — one, this is a very odd, very creepy thought for a grown man to have about children; and two, I can tell from this one sentence that this guy is a terrible, terrible writer. The phrases "vocabulary of definite opinions" and "their inculcated ideas" make me wince. Editor!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 123: Johnny Havoc and the Doll Who Had "It" / John Jakes (Belmont 90-289)

Paperback 123: Belmont 90-289 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Johnny Havoc and the Girl Who Had "It"
Author: John Jakes
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• If by "It" you mean "pointy left boob" or "bosomy sweater-filling capability," then yes, she has "It."
• I would love it if the "It" in this title was actually just the stupid cigarette
• I Love this dame: "Yeah, I got "It" - what's it to ya?!"
• Great cover copy - parodying this cigarette advertising campaign:

and



Best things about this back cover:

• There are some days when it's Really hard to improve on the paperback's own inherent funniness. Today is one of those days.
• I love the idea of having your P.I.'s shtick be ... that he's short.
• INA Young has a name built for crosswords (among other things, I'm sure)
• "Wednesday Wilde" is a great play on Sex Kitten Tuesday Weld (who was in my favorite movie that no one saw - "Serial" - as well as on the cover of one of my favorite albums of the 90s - Matthew Sweet's "Girlfriend")

Page 123~

"Hey, Moe, you all right?" I touched his shoulder.
One fat tear trickled down his cheek. "I shoulda been a pawnbroker, Claudio."
My God, don't start bawling."
"It's Finishville. For all of us."

~RP

Paperback 122: The Professor and the Co-Ed / Babette Hall (Belmont 90-280)

Paperback 122: Belmont 90-280 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: The Professor and the Co-Ed
Author: Babette Hall
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• This guy must have gotten his Ph.D. in Gigantic Chalkboardery
• "How do you like my perky breasts, professor?" / "I'd like them a whole lot better if you'd actually point them in this direction, you idiot."
• "My hands can do the splits" / "Uh, yes, that's very nice. Get out."
• Seriously, that guy looks way more annoyed than he does excited.
• Sometimes I write autobiographical stuff under the name "Babette Hall" ...

Best things about this back cover:

• I love blurbs that are descriptive rather than qualitative. So thank you ... Marc Connelly, whoever you are.
• I don't think I can do anything to add to the hilarity of Professor Shaw's revealing, sadistic diatribe.
• "Top critics have hailed this novel, and millions of readers agree..." - agree that WHAT!? Hailed it as WHAT? Way to avoid the whole "quality" issue.
• That Ladies' Home Journal blurb ... I've never seen anything like it. It's not related to anything. It's a complete non sequitur designed only to take up space, as far as I can tell.

Page 123~

I'm trying to make sense of Any of the sentences on this page, and I'm failing. I can barely make grammatical sense of them. Let's try this:

On the other hand I suspected there was something false in my philosophy because Phineas Todd wanted more than any of us, and accused the other Goat-singers of being satisfied with crumbs. It was all very confusing. I hoped to find the answer in Hollywood

and this:

But Seattle in my affections wasn't any larger than the pink bauble, not as large actually, being more remote.

~RP

Paperback 104: Gun-Law for Lavercombe / Charles Alden Seltzer (Belmont 91-258)

Paperback 104: Belmont 91-258 (1st ptg, 1962)

Title: Gun-Law for Lavercombe
Author: Charles Alden Seltzer
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• "Oooh, I'm gonna moon you good, pardner!"
• Charles Alden Seltzer is a pretty uppity name for a guy who wants to write tough-guy westerns
• "I like girls that wear Lavercombe and Fitch..."

Best things about this back cover:

• Death by bull-whip has got to be a particularly bad way to die
• I like how "The Judge" is in quotation marks - I guess he got that name 'cause he likes to "destroy men with his bare fists," just like the judges in Biblical times
• "The Lavercombe Showdown" was an important precursor to "The Lindy Hop" and "The Hustle"

PAGE 123~

She saw Jerry hopping around. Apparently he was searching for something. A rock. Just as her horse reached the level at the bottom of the slope Jerry crouched, the rock in hand.

Then several things seemed to happen at once.

~RP

Paperback 101: The Chic Chick Spy / Bob Tralins (Belmont B50-718)

Paperback 101: Belmont B50-718 (PBO - I think - 1966)

Title: The Chic Chick Spy ("The Miss from S.I.S.")
Author: Bob Tralins
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (5/27/08)


Best things about this cover:

• Another great cover copy claim - first, promises of vomit; now, declarations of absurdity.
• Love the ironic, self-referential, falsely modest cover copy ("Absolutely nothing in it is true ... you couldn't spend a better 50 cents")
• Is this woman a. directing traffic, b. casting spells, or c. fending off a defensive tackle?
  
• I love her murderous dance style: "L ... is for the way I Lacerate ... your faaaace..."
• Either a sniper is preparing to shoot her or she is able to jam enemy sonar with a tiny machine located in the underwire of the bra she isn't wearing.
• I submit that if this woman let her arms hang at her sides, she would be able to scratch her shins without bending at the waist one bit.
  

Best things about this back cover:

• "Booby sexed" - furthermore, "booby sexed." How am I supposed to pay attention to anything else on this cover?
• "... an organization that was making men feel queer and women feel like men" - OK, I'm going to have to read this if only to figure out how "booby sexed" fits into this whole queer / transgender theme. Do men grow boobies? Do women start ogling boobies? Are we sure that Ed Wood didn't write this?
• This is perhaps the only back cover in my collection that ends with an honest-to-god orgasm.
• This book is grimy. Solid, but covered with a thin layer of grime. I can't imagine what could have soiled it in precisely this fashion. It's as if it's been artfully basted with mud.
  

Page 123~ (this better be good...)

When she mounted the steps, she seemed to be weighed down by an enormous weight.

I'm sorry, I'm sure there are more lurid sentences on this page, but this is the first thing my eyes landed on, and it made me laugh out loud. "Mounted" was funny enough, but then ... well, here's how I imagine the author conceived the sentence:

• Author: "'When she mounted the steps, she seemed to be weighed down by ... by ...' Hmm, I know she needs to be weighed down by something, but what? ... [phones editor] ... yeah, hi Joe, I just wrote the part where she mounts the steps..."
• Joe: "Uh huh"
• Author: "... and I'm trying to describe how she's 'weighed down,' you know? But I can't think of what she could be weighed down by. I know it should be something big ... or giant. Maybe huge."
• Joe: "How about an enormous weight?"
• Author: "'... weighed down by an enormous weight.' Hey, that's good. I like how 'weight' sorta conveys the whole idea of being 'weighed down.' Thanks, Joe."

~RP