Paperback 1095: Man-Killer / Talmage Powell // Running Scared / Bob McKnight (Ace D-469)

 Paperback 1095: Ace D-469 (PBO / PBO, 1960)

Title: Man-Killer / Running Scared

Author: Talmage Powell / Bob McKnight

Cover artist: Rudy Nappi / Rudy Nappi (signature visible)

Condition: 8 or 9/10

Value: $30

Best things about this cover: 

• "You've had your breakfast of canned baked beans and coffee, now get out of my yellow house! Don't make me have to hold this gun properly!"
• She and that rifle sure seem, uh, friendly.
• This is one of the greatest fuck-off power poses I've ever seen on a paperback cover. I do believe she would, in fact, kill a man, possibly several.
• "The Lady's For Hanging" yeah good luck with that

Best things about this back cover: 

• Crawling Scared!
• "Murder On My Heels ... hey, where the hell are my heels, anyway? Must've lost 'em when I crawled through the swamp in my underwear oh well"
• The Ghost of Lee Marvin is very disappointed in your push-up technique

Page 123~ (from Man-Killer)

    The man paused at the mouth of the alley, a big, brawny shadow. I saw him stiffen. He was staring at the white blob of my face in the infiltrating light. 

    "Calhoun!"

    It was Giles Hustin.

OK, whatever suspense, whatever sense of impending terror you were trying to work up there was immediately and entirely dissipated by "It was Giles Hustin." Giles Hustin is not the name of a man who makes other men quake in fear. Giles Hustin is the name of a man who plays folk music every Thursday from 9 to 10 at The Rusty Skillet. 

Also, I'm worried about Calhoun's face.

~RP

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Paperback 979: Caught / Henry Green (Berkley BG472)

Paperback 979: Berkley Medallion BG472 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Caught
Author: Henry Green
Cover artist: photo

Estimated value: $30-50
Condition: 9/10

Best things about this cover:

• Major English author, sleaze-ified. I love when that happens.
• Get it? The net is because ... she's "caught." It's, like, a metaphor or something.
• This book is exquisite. A booksale steal. Belonged to a distinguished professor at Binghamton University (he signed his name inside—the only thing keeping this from a 10/10 condition rating)
• Armpits have their own tag on this blog. I am terribly proud of this.

Best things about this back cover:

•  LOL scare quotes. "'Caught,' see? We're speaking metaphorically."
• Look, if there's not an enmeshed naked dame involved, then I don't wanna know about it.
• Most pulp paperbacks are not blurbed by Christopher bleeping Isherwood.
• Just wanted to let you know that the teaser passage that precedes the title page of this book features this choice bit of prose: "She murmured to herself, 'THIS MAN'S MY GONDOLA...'" (emph. orig.)

Page 123~

"Now why, that's what we've got to consider," Pye heard as, in self defence, he let his eyes wander out to the cream yellow sunlight on the ungrowing, still winter grass. "Why," the voice came at him again, "Why? There must be a reason. That is where we want your help."

OK that is bleeping ominous. I really should read this guy.

~RP

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Paperback 626: Sleep-In Girl / Dick Kamp (Midwood 34-896)

Paperback 626: Midwood 34-896 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Sleep-In Girl
Author: Dick Kamp
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $19


Best things about this cover:

• Well, sure. Everyone sleeps in at dick kamp—it's exhausting!
• Sleep-In Girl cares not for comforters.
• Whatever she's wearing is doing odd things to her midriff. I can't quite reconcile her top and bottom halves.
• This cover would be 200% better if that cigarette were lit.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Dangling."

Page 123~

Suddenly I jumped as her tongue flicked against my lips like a searing coal...

You know how, when you're kissing searing coal, there's this, like, burning sensation? It was like that.

Oh man, I want to quote this whole page. It will make you hate sex / descriptions of things. For instance:

My hand moved to her breast and stroked its silken texture (1) and its rounded curves. The I cupped its lovely fullness in my palm, gently squeezed and kneaded its soft resiliency. Between my fingers I caught her exquisite little nipple, rolling it like a pebble and tugging and pulling at it until I felt it come quickly alive beneath my touch, springing up hard and erect (2). She lifted a shoulder from the bed to thrust her breast against me and her taut nipple stabbed into my palm (3). 

(1) "Mmm, your breasts are like tofu, baby."
(2) But it started out like a "pebble." How much harder can it get?
(3) You can tell if she's adequately aroused by looking at your palms. Are they bleeding? Well then, you're good to go!

~RP

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Paperback 601: Ace Double D-347 (1st ptg / PBO)

Title: Play For Keeps / The Corpse Without a Country
Authors: Harry Whittington / Louis Trimble
Cover artists: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Perspective!
• Other shoe!?
• Come on, Vogue!
• Garters!?!?! Even in imminent-death, sexy as hell.
• I am very, very, very distracted by the placement of his pinky finger / left side of his hand.
• Is that Fear Hand or Buh-Bye Hand?
• "GOOD"!!! LOL x a million.

Best things about this other cover:

• Death Is A Sexy Southern Belle Raining Fuchsia Death From Above.
• The Corpse Had Womanly Hips.
• Actually, that looks like me coming out of savasana at the end of yoga class.

Page 123~

"I should have killed you. I knew. When you came in. You'd figured it. I knew. I saw it in your face."

"Too bad, Tony. It's all too bad."

Too Bad Tony would be a great nickname. Also, "It's all too bad, Tony" would be the closing aria if this were a musical / opera.

~RP

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Paperback 599: Wild Drums Beat / F. Van Wyck Mason (Pocket Books 977)

Paperback 599: Pocket Books 977 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Wild Drums Beat
Author: F. Van Wyck Mason
Cover artist: Richard Cardiff

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• "Uh ... he was like this when I found him."
• "Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting wabbits..."
• Real men make snow angels "Indian-style."
• Margery made the rather large mistake of trying to ride the Black Horse of Death sidesaddle. 

Best things about this back cover:

• "Renegade trapper" would look great on a business card.
• Random trivia: Googling ["scalp-hungry"] returns 4100+ hits. So ... it's an adjective with a life beyond this cover.
• Remember when men's courage and women's love could solve world problems? And now look at us. Lousy Obama.

Pag 123~

He nodded, mimicked the shadow of his head wrought black and distorted upon the lean-to's roof.

Grammatically, I'm not really sure what to do with this (how do you mimic a shadow that you yourself are creating?), but I do love a good lean-to reference.

~RP

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Paperback 588: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road / John Faulkner (Gold Medal s1070)

Paperback 588: Gold Medal s1070 (3rd ptg, 1960)

Title: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Josiah never went out a-preachin' without his trusty pet slattern.
• Behold what the mind-blowing success of Erskine Caldwell hath wrought. 
• With "ribald," "earthy," "uninhibited" and (on back) "bawdy" all featuring prominently on this cover, I canNot believe there's not a "frank" in sight. I guess "frank" is what you get when you drain the corny humor away.
• I dig the guy's pocket square but what the hell is up with his shoes? Those are some amazing technicolor dream shoes right there. 
• She is supposed to be sexy but she has dumb, lop-sided eyes and looks more seal than human.

Best things about this back cover:

• If you liked "Uncle Good's Girls," you'll "Uncle Good's Girls II: Gooder Than Ever."
• I believe in the reality of a person named "Harry Serwer" about as much as I believe in a "star of Beelzebub."
• Please please please let "the glory trail" be some porn term I'm as-yet unaware of.

Page 123~

"They ain't much difference in them politicians oncet they gits to Washington nohow," Uncle Good said. "They are all jest about furriners. I wouldn't trust nair one in Washington after they let the W P and A fall through."

Uncle Good—poet, prophet, statesman, regional caricature

~RP

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Paperback 567: The Whipping Boy / S.E. Pfoutz (Popular Library 821)

Paperback 567: Popular Library 821 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Whipping Boy
Author: S.E. Pfoutz
Cover artist: that guy that did a lot of Popular Library covers in the '50s ... always wore a shirt ...

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• The tragic stair-falling scene from Mickey Spillane's final novel: "Mike Hammer: The Big Knee Replacement"
• Meanwhile, in the background: "I'd like to cross your color line, baby." "I ... don't know what that means. Please leave." "Oh, alright. Hey, do you think I'm OK to drive? Here, smell my breath, haaaaaaaaaaaah..."
• I feel like the author's name is some kind of code I'm supposed to break.
• This is the most unracial racial cover ever. "Did we say 'color line'? We meant big, bold primary colors—the blue THE, the red WHIPPING ... it's about a boy who likes to make whipped cream. Why do you have to make everything about race?"

Best things about this back cover:

• "I ... I can't decide. Do I stay with midget Vulcan or run off with black Jerry Seinfeld?"
• "A talented young Negro," HA ha. "Wow, you are really good at being Negro."
• Why would you go with "piercingly honest" when "frank" is so much more concise? "Frank" novels should just call themselves "frank" and quit hiding behind these flowery euphemisms. This message brought to you by Proud Frank Americans for Frankness. Thank you.

Page 123~

"Don't get funny with me, lover boy," said the creature, leering. "I know your kind from way back."

~RP

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Paperback 564: Cat Man / Edward Hoagland (Signet S1499)

Paperback 564: Signet S1499 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Cat Man
Author: Edward Hoagland
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• Yes, your ass *is* impressive, ma'am, but Zombie Bowser wants brains.
• If I knew what she was doing, I would tell you.
• What is that magic cloud of pastel soup that Bowser's wallowing around in? I'm torn between 'really shitty futon cover from ca. 1994' and 'Smurf latrine.'
• "He courted danger in a jungle world"—ohhhhh. That's what I'm looking at. Courtship. "Geena, I'm down on all my paws, beggin' you—won't you be my jaguar-bride?"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Random Words" = equally scintillating alternative to "Big Top"; unless there are gay implications I'm missing, which I really hope there are.
• Where have all the cagehands gone?
• I like how "winos" are so-called, while freaks are just fucking freaks—no quotation marks needed. We all know freaks when we see them, amiright? Pfft. Freaks.
• "Rejected by respectable society"!? I've seen the cover. I'm with respectable society here.

Page 123~

Bible licked his mustache and brooded [1]. The man in black smiled, thinking about something [2]. His face was lumpy and gentle [3]. The buttons on his shirt were gray instead of black, and he was playing with them. His belt buckle reflected silver like anybody else's belt buckle [4].

• [1] Some people give their kids names from the Bible. And then some just say 'fuck it, I can't keep them bible names straight. Let's just call him Bible.'
• [2] I like the second half of this sentence for answering the tough questions I had about the first half of this sentence.
• [3] "... like oatmeal, when it's thinking about something"
• [4] Foreshadowing the black-hole belt buckle that kills everyone at the end. (spoiler alert)

~RP

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Paperback 558: The Sixpenny Dame / Eaton K. Goldthwaite (Pennant Books P49)

Paperback 558: Pennant Books P49 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: The Sixpenny Dame
Author: Eaton K. Goldthwaite
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:

• Larry: "Hmm. She's OK, I guess. I'll give you fine pennies." Steve: "How dare you! En garde!"
• On the rocky shores of Mustard Cove, they settled their score like men—with a dance-off!
• Sheila: "Would you two hurry it up already? I wanna go home. My neck's sore and I think I ate too many crabcakes."
• Once again—love the dress. Not sure about the bangs, but love the dress.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, boss, I got this design idea. Now, close your eyes and imagine ... instead of regular old bullet points: red squares! ... yeah, I know it clashes with the purple border ... but I just thought, you know, it's a novel about conflict, so ... yes, sir. Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."
• Bullet 3: See Bullet 1
• There's cryptic-good and cryptic-bad. Then there's this useless, befuddling mess of nothingness.

Page 123~

This put my Sixpenny dame in a new and uncomfortable light, for it showed she had employed psychopathic protection of a high order. 

I like how he talks about her like she's a seventh-level Wizard in "Dungeons & Dragons."

~RP

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Paperback 551: God's Little Acre / Erskine Caldwell (Great Pan G148)

Paperback 551: Great Pan G148 (1st thus, 1958)

Title: God's Little Acre
Author: Erskine Caldwell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $23
Best things about this cover:

• The Professor and Ginger never did see eye to eye.
• It's like they're having a clenchedmouth-off and she's winning—though it looks like the judge in the background there is about to call "illegal use of boobs." We'll see...
• Zeke likes to watch.
• I think she was overcome by Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" and had to be shaken out of her rockin' reverie before she tore up all the hay bales.
• Zeke, on the other hand, is immune to Bon Jovi's charms.
• Movie tie-in! 

Best things about this back cover:

• Wow, they sure picked a dramatic scene for this back cover. And by "dramatic" I mean "one that showcases Tina Louise's tits to the fullest."
• Chivalry isn't dead, it's just horribly, horribly mutated.
• "Gusty vitality"??? Did they mean "gutsy"? Did they conflate "gutsy" and "gusto." "You know, the vitality of his writing ... it's got a ... windlike quality to it ..."

Page 123~

Ty Ty put one foot inside the room and leaned against the door-frame. He watched her roll and unroll her stockings and hang them over the back of the chair. She got up quickly and stood at the foot of the bed.

I *knew* creepy, overt, unwelcome voyeurism was going to figure prominently in this book. The cover artist did his job well.

~RP

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Paperback 537: Fools Die on Friday / A. A. Fair (Dell 542)

Paperback 537: Dell 542 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Fools Die on Friday
Author: A.A. Fair (aka Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: not for sale (donation to the collection), but FYI, it's prolly worth about $30

Best things about this cover:

• Reader K. Harvey was helping clean out the house of a friend's aunt and she came across a treasure trove of old paperbacks. She offered to send them to me. I accepted. So a couple days ago I got a box crammed full of Fair/Gardner books (as well as some Leslie Charteris / "Saint" stuff), all of which are in good-to-great condition. There must be 35-40 books in all. A generous donation, from which we will all benefit—I'll try to post all the covers here, sometimes 2 or 3 at a time (to highlight certain stylistic trends) over the course of the summer, while still moving steadily through my collection (don't want to overdose on Gardner). 
• I lead with this cover because it is legendary. Future editions of this book will button her shirt and hide her panties, making her look far more elegant, far less slatternly. I.e. yawn. Behold:

• "... just enough to cover yourself ..." Well, I guess she's ready then.
• I love old half-face there on the left. In particular, his tie. And his eyes. He's doing that "I can magically see behind me" thing that people on paperback covers and in soap operas sometimes do. He looks like every man Robert Stanley ever drew, i.e. like Mike Shayne.
• If it weren't for the boobs, I'd have to say "cross-dresser."

Best things about this back cover:

• Mapback!
• "Real clues" — none of the fake stuff for us, thanks.
• BALLWIN looks allllll kinds of wrong.
• Love the building cutaway—like a giant just tore the top half of the apartment off.

Page 123~

She pushed back her stenographic chair, walked over to a shelf, whipped out a map, and placed it on the counter.

I am slightly in love with the phrase "stenographic chair," which I did not realize until just now was a thing.

~RP

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Paperback 534: Lords of Atlantis / Wallace West (Airmont SF3)

Paperback 534: Airmont SF3 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Lords of Atlantis
Author: Wallace West
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:

• To judge by this cover, Lords of Atlantis were a short-lived New Wave band who died of ennui.
• "The camera's over here guys ... guys? ... aw fuck it, just take the shot."
• You can tell the dude with the '60s iPod / '80s cell phone attached to the back of his space helmet wrote all their music and is just biding his time until he can go solo / write the score for "Inception 5: The Receptioning."

Best things about this back cover:

• More like "Snores of Atlantis"—this story would be a lot more interesting if Jeannie were in that bottle.

Page 123~

"There's a screen in the Bab El engine room," she exclaimed as she manipulated the visor dials. "I must try to tell Refo that I do forgive him. I'll never sleep again if I don't."

"They say this cat Refo is a bad mother... / SHUT YOUR MOUTH! / I'm talkin' 'bout Refo! / NO SERIOUSLY SHUT YOUR MOUTH THAT GUY'S AN IDIOT!"

~RP

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Paperback 521: The Man With the Golden Gun / Ian Fleming (Signet P2735)

Paperback 521: Signet P2735 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Man with the Golden Gun
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• James Bond subdues the 50-Foot Woman ... with sexy results.
• Damn the '60s, with their "words" crowding out all the luscious artistry. I can't believe the great Barye Phillips' work has been reduced (literally and metaphorically) to this. It's like his art is being chewed by the bloody fangs of the words, while also being attacked by a golden word-buzzsaw.
• Her ass is so hot it's literally steaming.

Best things about this back cover:

• NOTHING!
• Ah, "bordello," you seldom-used, beautiful word.
• "Aided by his sex-galore confederate" is a brilliant phrase, I'll give the copy writer that.

Page 123~

Amused by his thoughts, Bond's right hand came out of his pocket and lit a cigarette for him, quietly and obediently. It had stopped going off chasing rabbits on its own.

I'm kind of stuck on how a "hand" gets "amused."

~RP

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Paperback 519: Liza of Lambeth / W. Somerset Maugham (Avon 139)

Paperback 519: Avon 139 (1st ptg, 1947)

Title: Liza of Lambeth
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7

Best things about this cover:

• Liza of Lamboobs!
• Vincent Van Gogh positions himself for optimal boob viewing. "Sunflowers, Shmunflowers. I'm painting these!"
• Vincent Van Gogh, Incompetent Vampire!
• I remember these swirly popsicle thingies that mom used to buy. I associate them with that one time I was so sick (1981) that I couldn't keep much down. Anyway, popsicle color + memory of barfing = where the background of this painting takes my brain.

Best things about this back cover:

• Shakespeare-Head!
• We've seen all this before.

Page 123~

"I never 'ad any money from anyone."
"Don't talk ter me; I know yer did. Yer dirty bitch. You oughter be ashimed of yerself tikin' a married man from 'is family, an' 'im old enough ter be yer father."

This whole scene is like a Cockney Jerry Springer episode.

~RP

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Paperback 514: Restless Women / John Falcone (Wizard 408)

Paperback 514: Wizard 408 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Restless Women
Author: John Falcone
Cover artist: Uncredited [awfully Gene Bilbrew-esque]

Yours for: Not for Sale (Gift to the Collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• What is it with the seriously ugly dudes on these covers lately. Looks like someone put a rubber mask on that guy and then punched him in the face til he died.
• He's dead, lady. He doesn't care about your stupid seashell fan.
• So they've brought a mattress and a ... turkey? game hen? ... to the beach?
• Top woman's body is insane. Looks more like braided challah than human flesh.
• Looks like half of your "four-woman harem" has gone missing already, buddy. You kind of suck at this. Maybe you should wake up. Oh, right, you're dead.

Best things about this back cover:

• Magenta woman stands under giant magenta feather / waterfall. No one knows why.
• If you never thought there was such a thing as "appositive abuse," check out that third paragraph.
• "Nocturnal nude swim" = when technical writers are hired to write porn.

Page 123~

But as Lola went on, he made a conscious effort to shut it out of his mind. This kind of drivel could spoil a man's breakfast. He motioned to the waiter for more coffee. Lola kept droning on. If she was an actress, he was a giraffe.

If the front cover illustration is anything to go on, I'm buying "giraffe" before I'm buying "Movie hero" who juggles "four demanding sex machines at once." I mean, have you tried juggling sex machines?! Very slippery.

~RP

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Paperback 502: Onionhead / Weldon Hill (Popular Library SP13)

Paperback 502: Popular Library SP13 (1st ptg, 1958)

Title: Onionhead
Author: Weldon Hill
Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• This book is all about this guy's insatiable appetite. He likes to eat. Hence "onion." And "head."
• "Oh, Onionhead, you're so ... ribald."
• When the S.F. paper calls your book about a girl-crazy sailor the "gayest novel in years," you might have a marketing problem on your hands.
• Mitchell Hooks is a highly underrated coverartist. His stuff is generally sketchier and more whimsical than the work of the more famous Great Girl Artists, but I always find it very engaging. Love the rough black line work. Also, LOVE the redhead's outfit.

Best things about this back cover:

• On the cover, the girls thought Onionhead was in the Navy. Here, they learn he was in the Coast Guard.
• FOOD OR SEX? They're really pushing this appetite parallel a lot. Unless this book culminates in Onionhead eating large plates of pasta and various desserts off the naked bodies of gorgeous young ladies, I'm going to be very disappointed.
• Again: Ribald! For her pleasure.

Page 123~

Al began browsing among the supplies, getting oriented. He noticed a recipe for muffins on a bag of cornmeal, and got a brilliant idea. He had to learn how to cook, so he ought to practice, learn by experience, trial and error. He would make some goddam muffins.

I want an apron depicting the front cover art and the caption: "He would make some goddam muffins." I would wear it every day.

~RP

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Paperback 497: Sleep with the Devil / Day Keene (Lion 204)

Paperback 497: Lion Books 204 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Sleep with the Devil
Author: Day Keene
Cover artist: sadly, uncredited

Yours for: $15

Best things about this cover:

• One of my favorites for a number of reasons, most notably the unusually cartoony style of drawing. It's like I'm looking at a still from a modern animated noir series (which should exist— "Archer" is great, but I'd love something more noirish and serious).
• Hate to break this to you lady, but in a number of different ways, that dude is Not Interested. 
• Her robe is awesomely foldy. This cover owes half its lineage to Japanese artists like Hokusai and the other half to Saturday morning cartoons.
• I went through a big Day Keene phase in the '90s. Didn't everyone?
• Perhaps my favorite part of this book is the bookshop stamp—in case you can't read it, this book was once the property of the "JUNQUE SHOPPE" (of Hoquiam, WA). All "-unk" words should be spelled that way. Junque in the trunque! 
• The name "Hoquiam" comes from a Native-American word meaning "hungry for wood" (wikipedia), as in "The lady on this cover looks very Hoquiam."

Best things about this back cover:

• Again with the cartoony greatness.
• Her hair looks like a topographic map.
• I thought maybe the designer was trying to get an acrostic going, but I don't think LWAJ means anything.
• Ferron! "... he began to erase himself from existence." Look, he's almost done! Just the head to go!

Page 123~

He wished now he hadn't been so greedy. He wished he had listened to Lydia. If they had gone away together, as she had wanted to, they could be nearing the Newark airport. By noon, late afternoon at the latest, they could be in Miami, lolling in the sun, with nothing to do but get drunk and spend Whit's money and make love.

The Miami tourism bureau needs to hire this writer. I've never had the slightest desire to go to Miami, but now it's all I can think of.

~RP

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The P. Morrison Donations #8: The Seven Deadly Sisters / Pat McGerr (Dell 412)

The P. Morrison Donations #8

Dell 412 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Seven Deadly Sisters
Author: Pat McGerr
Cover artist: Paul C. Burns

Best things about this cover:

• "Hey, man, have you ever looked at a spider web? ... I mean really looked at it man? ... it's crazy."
• No matter how her more "modern" peers mocked her, Sheila preferred to ride her bed sidesaddle.
• Honestly, this cover is a conceptual mess. I have no way of understanding how any of the parts (title, lady, letter, killer list) are supposed to relate to each other. It's like a grab bag of stock mystery features.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wow, this is the least ambitious mapback I've ever seen. Lazy-ass illustrator unintentionally invents the street-view map!

Page 123~

"The doctor says I'll get my full strength back. And if he touches my wife while I'm out here, I'll make what happened to him before look like a dress rehearsal."

Why do you continue to employ the services of a doctor who is hitting on your wife? Why!?

~RP

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Paperback 488: The Case of the Constant Suicides / John Dickson Carr (Berkley G-60)

Paperback 488: Berkley Books G-60 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Case of the Constant Suicides
Author: John Dickson Carr
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:

• Well, Dr. Gideon Fell, alright. Fell to his death!
• Nobody painted Paperback Women better than Robert Maguire. Nobody. Nobody. I mean, this is some of his least interesting work, and it's still awesome. He also has the greatest paperback cover artist signature. Regular as hell. You could set your watch by that thing.
• This is the story of one woman's painful obsession with the phallic tower that would not love her. Or her painful battle with head lice. Or her painful attempt to follow a rudimentary yoga DVD.

Best things about this back cover:

• How 'bout people just stop staying there. Looks like a shit place to sleep, anyway. Case closed! You're welcome.
• Coincidentally, I'm in the middle of an Agatha Christie novel right now. It's telling that she doesn't praise his writing, but his ability to baffle. I've heard 4-year-olds tell completely baffling stories.

Page 123~

"Angus might well consider himself, in the hard-headed Northern fashion, a useless encumbrance."

Poor Angus is "stony broke," "overwhelved (sic!) with debts," and has an ex-mistress named Elspat. She used to tease him about his "useless encumbrance." Hence *ex* mistress.

~RP

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Paperback 480: The Indiscreet Confessions of a Nice Girl / Anonymous (Lion 30)

Paperback 480: Lion Books 30 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: The Indiscreet Confessions of a Nice Girl
Author: Anonymous
Cover artist: Michel

Yours for: $18



Best things about this cover:

• Please note the lamp. Please please note the lamp. It's bachelor-padtastic!
• She is getting her cigarette lit by the world's tiniest man, who happens to be hanging from the ceiling.
• Her dress is weird. It looks like her boobs have eyebrows.
• She's kicked off a shoe, so you know she's good to go.
• Either that entire room is on a slant or we are looking at her through a very weird tire swing.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hand"writing!
  Everyone's attractive in black, lady. Get over yourself. 
• "—but I will come to that later." I love how she is titillating her Future Self. (assuming this is really a diary)
• "Oh Harold! Harold! Bring me up to date, Harold!"
  "... unless you read other people's diaries ... in which case, this will probably be pretty disappointing. Seriously, you should just put this book down and go back to being a snooping perv. You'll be happier."

Page 123~

I decided to put on my tea gown before Arthur arrived. It was really a negligee, only more so. You wear a negligee when you want to be modest and a tea gown when you don't. Cecil's tea gowns are very immodest. She practically guarantees one shoulder to fall off during the second cocktail and the other to fall during the fourth. Of course she can't do any better than that because no girl should take more than four cocktails and if she does she will throw the whole gown over a chair anyway.

I love how she's drunk and wild enough to just chuck off her gown, but tidy enough to make sure that it's neatly hung up on a chair. Also, though I'm pretty sure Cecil is a girl, I like to pretend that he is not.

~RP

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