In last night's dream -- coronavirus: non-existent. Social distancing: not practiced. My age: 59, same as in waking like. Location: Paris. Did it resemble the real Paris: partly. It was less built-up than the real Paris. Other people in the dream: unknown to me from waking life.
We were riding in a double-decker bus somewhat like the ones I've seen in Manhattan and London, except that the top level was enclosed. The whole vehicle felt a bit top-heavy, sluggish and old. I was sitting in the top level. I had a notebook, and paperback book and several smaller items with me, each about the size of a matchbox. I was having trouble holding on to everything, I keenly felt the need for a briefcase or backpack.
Suddenly the bus slammed to a halt when one of the passengers shouted that someone outside was abusing kittens.
I and several other passengers immediately scrambled off of the bus and ran in the direction the shouting person had been pointing. Only with difficulty did I keep ahold of all of my possessions. In front of the house we were running toward, two boys stopped stuffing kittens into garbage cans and ran away. (This is an example of how this dream Paris was unrealistically spread out: this neighborhood had one-and-two story single family houses and did not seem to be extravagantly wealthy.)
We found four kittens in the trash cans. No one came to the door when we rang the bell of the house in whose small front yard this was happening. We didn't know where home was for these kittens, so we decided to just wait there with them, until we could figure out their situation. By a stroke of good luck, someone happened to have a bottle of milk in their backpack. The bus driver called out that he had a schedule to keep. We called back that we understood and waved him on. Someone called the local Humane Society.
One of the other people from the bus, a young man, made fun of me, calling me old, and also mocking my obvious need for a briefcase or backpack. I ignored him, thinking that it was a rather strange combination, kind to kittens in need and a jerk to human strangers.
Some of us decided to walk to a nearby Humane society shelter with the kittens, while others stayed behind, in case they were able to solve the question of the kittens' ownership. We exchanged phone numbers. After a couple of blocks of walking through a dream version of France which was a bit more suburban than the real Paris, I woke up.
Showing posts with label kittens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kittens. Show all posts
Friday, June 19, 2020
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
"KITTIES ARE NICE!" (Comedy Sketch)
TALK SHOW HOST: Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's musical guest are a band that formed 25 years ago in Tacoma, Washington. There were one of the original Seattle grunge bands, and they're here to perform the title track from their 20th album, Kitties Are Nice. Please welcome Logjam!
(LOGJAM launch into a hard rocker, lotsa guitar feedback, nasty bass and drums. They're just a little bit too macho and grim-faced. Like Pearl Jam,
but even more so. In fact, if Pearl Jam want to play Logjam, that'd be perfect. The lyrics to the song "Kitties Are Nice" are just the three words "Kitties are nice" repeated a few times. The lead singer sings "Kitties are niiiiiiiiiiii...iiice," and other band members join in and harmonize during the word "nice." After the song crashes to its end, Logjam grimly put down their instruments and walk over to the host, shake his hand and the hands of his sidekick and the other guest who hung around and take their seats.)
HOST (to BAND MEMBER #1, LEAD SINGER) : That's an unusual song! Is it literally about cats, or should listeners be looking for symbolic meanings in the lyrics?
(The instant the host begins to speak to the singer, the personalities of all the band members change from those of brooding alt-rockers to those of squirming toddlers.)
BAND MEMBER #1: Kitties are nice!
(Band members begin to fidget, and to softly grunt and squeal at the thought of nice kitties.)
HOST: ... Okay! (Turning to BAND MEMBER #2) : Todd, you've written most of the lyrics to Logjam's songs, and on this albums you wrote all the words. Up until this album a lot of the songs have been pretty wordy, going into some details about themes like environmentalism and political oppression and sexual exploitation. On this album, all of the songs have lyrics which are either three or four words long, and are identical to each song's title: "Kitties Are Nice," "I Wike Wittle Kittehs," "Look at dah Kitteh!"
and so forth. What brought about this sudden change in approach?
BAND MEMBER #2 (at first reacts with the bug-eyed and hunched-shouldered demeanor of a toddler who's been startled by something unfamiliar and alarming; then he relaxes a bit and exclaims: ) I like kittehs!
(The fidgeting and ecstatic, kitty-besotted grunting and squealing of all of the band members steadily increases.)
BAND MEMBER #3: I have a kitteh named Alice!
BAND MENBER #4 (shouts, but it's muted because he's not miked) : Alice is a vereh nice kitteh!
(Emphatic squeals of agreement from the other band members. From here to the end of the sketch, the squealing and fidgeting and arm-waiving and interjected shouts about how kittehs are nice and how the band members like kittehs and like to pet them and how Alice is vereh nice and so forth only continue to increase.)
BAND MEMBER #3: Alice is vereh friendly. If you sit on my sofa Alice will jump up onto the arm of the sofa and purr and rub you with the top of her head. After you pet her for a while she will settle down onto the arm of the sofa. And then you can very gently rest your forearm along her back so that your fingers can pet her head. And... And when you do this... Her tail will flick back and forth against your chest and shoulder and upper arm... And... AND IT TICKLES!
(At this point all of the band members completely lose what little composure they have left. Some are rocking back and forth and moaning softly. Some fall off of their seats and roll around on the floor.)
HOST (is staring open-mouthed at them. With a visible effort he composes himself, turns to the camera and says) : Folks, we're going to take a short break. When we return, George Smith of the San Diego Zoo is going to bring out some baby koalas.
(At the mention of baby koalas the band members become still more animated with pleasure.)
(LOGJAM launch into a hard rocker, lotsa guitar feedback, nasty bass and drums. They're just a little bit too macho and grim-faced. Like Pearl Jam,
but even more so. In fact, if Pearl Jam want to play Logjam, that'd be perfect. The lyrics to the song "Kitties Are Nice" are just the three words "Kitties are nice" repeated a few times. The lead singer sings "Kitties are niiiiiiiiiiii...iiice," and other band members join in and harmonize during the word "nice." After the song crashes to its end, Logjam grimly put down their instruments and walk over to the host, shake his hand and the hands of his sidekick and the other guest who hung around and take their seats.)
HOST (to BAND MEMBER #1, LEAD SINGER) : That's an unusual song! Is it literally about cats, or should listeners be looking for symbolic meanings in the lyrics?
(The instant the host begins to speak to the singer, the personalities of all the band members change from those of brooding alt-rockers to those of squirming toddlers.)
BAND MEMBER #1: Kitties are nice!
(Band members begin to fidget, and to softly grunt and squeal at the thought of nice kitties.)
HOST: ... Okay! (Turning to BAND MEMBER #2) : Todd, you've written most of the lyrics to Logjam's songs, and on this albums you wrote all the words. Up until this album a lot of the songs have been pretty wordy, going into some details about themes like environmentalism and political oppression and sexual exploitation. On this album, all of the songs have lyrics which are either three or four words long, and are identical to each song's title: "Kitties Are Nice," "I Wike Wittle Kittehs," "Look at dah Kitteh!"
and so forth. What brought about this sudden change in approach?
BAND MEMBER #2 (at first reacts with the bug-eyed and hunched-shouldered demeanor of a toddler who's been startled by something unfamiliar and alarming; then he relaxes a bit and exclaims: ) I like kittehs!
(The fidgeting and ecstatic, kitty-besotted grunting and squealing of all of the band members steadily increases.)
BAND MEMBER #3: I have a kitteh named Alice!
BAND MENBER #4 (shouts, but it's muted because he's not miked) : Alice is a vereh nice kitteh!
(Emphatic squeals of agreement from the other band members. From here to the end of the sketch, the squealing and fidgeting and arm-waiving and interjected shouts about how kittehs are nice and how the band members like kittehs and like to pet them and how Alice is vereh nice and so forth only continue to increase.)
BAND MEMBER #3: Alice is vereh friendly. If you sit on my sofa Alice will jump up onto the arm of the sofa and purr and rub you with the top of her head. After you pet her for a while she will settle down onto the arm of the sofa. And then you can very gently rest your forearm along her back so that your fingers can pet her head. And... And when you do this... Her tail will flick back and forth against your chest and shoulder and upper arm... And... AND IT TICKLES!
(At this point all of the band members completely lose what little composure they have left. Some are rocking back and forth and moaning softly. Some fall off of their seats and roll around on the floor.)
HOST (is staring open-mouthed at them. With a visible effort he composes himself, turns to the camera and says) : Folks, we're going to take a short break. When we return, George Smith of the San Diego Zoo is going to bring out some baby koalas.
(At the mention of baby koalas the band members become still more animated with pleasure.)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Cute Baby Animal Pictures!
In this post I'm going to pander to mass tastes.
Lookit the liddle cuties!

Shhh, da liddle poopie dawg and da widdle kitty is sweeping! Awwwwwwww!

Widgiewidgiewidgiewidgie! Who's a pwecious liddle fing? Who's my liddle pwecious?

Look out! It's a fierce liddle king of da jungle! It's a fierce liddle pwedator, ahhhh helphelp!

Uho-oh! Looks like maybe this one isn't done yet!

What a dapper young gent!

I hope you enjoyed this radical departure from my usual blogging tendencies. (Squeee!) Please feel free to click on "COMMENTS" below and leave a URL to a cute baby animal photo, or to a website that has a bunch of 'em. In my next post I might revert to my usual remarks about things which happened hundreds or thousands of years ago, remarks which manage somehow to be both angry and dry, and which only four of you seem to understand. I haven't decided yet.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)

